The Challenges of Love
by thisobsessioniscontagious
Summary: Chris Maclean wants love. Well, his contract says he does anyway. Thus a show to find him a lady is on air. "Now I know why everyone hates the fine print!"
1. Status Report

**The Challenges of Love**

**1. Status Report**

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**I don't own Total Drama Island or any related aspects, spin-offs, etc. or associated characters, places, etc.**

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There were a select few things that could guarantee unbridled joy for Chris Maclean: watching people suffer/experience pain, causing drama so people will suffer/experience pain, being treated like royalty while other people suffer/experience pain, and virtually anything else that involved people suffering/experiencing pain. Taking these facts into consideration, it would seem that this celebrity host/actor is disturbed enough to be a full-fledged sadist.

To add to his complex, he also seems to be a _hypocritical_ sadist. Witnessing anyone else on the opposite end of the pain-game was entertaining. As soon as the roles reversed he was not interested in sticking around.

The Network, which employed and worked with Chris through several shows, knew the aforesaid facts about him quite well. Their hit _Total Drama _series was such a success partly thanks to Chris's thrill for the contestants' misery. If they would've hired anyone else the show might have not built-up the cult following it had and achieved all the high ratings, awards, records, and – most importantly – money that it did.

They owed a lot to Chris Maclean and they knew it. This is why no one, least of all Chris himself, was prepared for the bomb The Network dropped.

"We heard about your breakup, Chris," one of the network owners, Collin Johnston, told the celebrity. He was the more nervous of the owners and sounded like he had a permanent head cold, making him also the easier of the owners to tune out. "And we would just like to say that we offer you our, ah, condolences."

Chris chuckled lightly, amused by the amount of concern touching his boss's voice. "Dude, no worries! It was about high time I sent her packing. Things were getting _way _too serious."

George Cooper, another of the network bosses, arched a thick eyebrow into his wide, oiled forehead. "You were only with her a week, boy."

"Six days, man." Chris corrected. "Six days of pure hell. It was all fun until she had to go and make it official." Chris shook his head slowly. "She just couldn't be happy with a fling. She had to put a label on it and ruin a good thing."

George Cooper nodded in understanding as he glared at the thick gold wedding band stuck on his meaty finger. Collin Johnston, whose last girlfriend dumped him in the tenth grade for his better looking friend, didn't really know why Chris wouldn't want to work things out with a pretty girl who liked him.

"Well back to business!" George said, clasping his palms together. With his booming voice and an irritable nature he was the more respected of the two men sitting with Chris that morning. This in turn made him more of a 'boss of the bosses' rather than a partner, but it didn't seem like anyone dared to bring this to his attention anytime soon. "Johnston, explain to Chris why we called him here."

"Ah, right." Collin cleared his throat and ransacked through the papers on his desk before he pulled out a thick packet. "We conducted a, ah, character popularity poll a week after the finale of the latest Total Drama season and we found that you were in, um, the top ten at position number, ah, eight. Just yesterday we had our second poll of character popularity delivered to us and we, ah, discovered that you had somehow reached up to sixth place."

"Wicked," was all Chris had to say. With all the fans he had he was pretty sure he was more famous than any of the teens that he shared the spotlight with.

"We also did some research and found that there are many… um, fansites with a large female population interested in, ah, conforming you."

Chris was lost now. "Conforming me?"

"You know, Chris – conform you!" George barked out with a wide smile under his heavy mustache. "A lot of girls are into the idea of a guy liking them enough to change their ways. In this case they don't want you to talk like a skater and be so sadistic and – according them – mean."

"Mean." Chris repeated the word and smirked.

"Yes, mean. They also seem to think you're a womanizer."George rolled his eyes. "Which I understand after you're latest excuse to dump a hot model girlfriend. But that's not what matters now, m'boy. As I said, a lot of ladies are into that."

Chris seriously doubted he was George's 'boy' and he also doubted that any of this information mattered to begin with. Besides the statistics, these were all things he knew or could at least figure out himself. "Thanks for the progress report on my fame and rep, bros. Totally appreciated… I guess."

Chris rose out of the black leather chair he sat in smoothly. Collin shot up from his chair in panic. "Wait! We have yet to address why we, um, called you here." Chris mumbled something and fell back into the seat, giving Collin a bored stare. "Thank you. As myself and Mr. Cooper were reading through our statistics and information, we came to a, ah, conclusion that involves you." He offered a shy smile. Chris didn't smile back. "Right… well the bottom-line is that we would like to have you in our next reality series, Mr. Maclean."

Chris decided to smile then. It was bright enough for Collin to get his confidence back and smile as big as he had wanted to. "Awwwwwwwwwesooooooome!" the host cheered. "Is it another Total Drama Island spinoff or something? A totally new show with off-the-hook challenges and a huge money reward? Whatever it is, I'm up for it!"

Collin and George gave each other worried looks. "Um, Chris, it's kind of different from the Total Drama series…"

"Sweet! Is it harder? Will Chef still be there – he's great to work with."

"Chef can be there but I don't see why you'd want him to be," George chuckled. "The man would scare off all the pretty ladies, no doubt."

Chris arched a brow at this and looked to Collin for a better explanation. Collin sighed and spoke slowly, careful how he'd word the details. "You see Chris, this show is… ah, a reality show with drama. You like drama?" Chris nodded. "Yes you do! Ah, but the girl's won't be competing for a money prize." Then Collin considered what he said and added on as an afterthought, "Well they might be, but they aren't really _supposed_ to be."

Chris tilted his head in confusion. "So there will only be girls competing…?"

"Yes," Collin confirmed timidly.

George got impatient. "Oh for the glory of the Great Lakes – the girls are all trying to be your girlfriend. The winner gets to _date_ you."

Silence.

"… As in it's a love show. Like the girls do challenges and stuff to impress you and at the end of every challenge you vote one off. The last lady standing will get to date you."

Silence.

"… Meaning we'll get tons of ratings."

Silence.

"…Yeah. And that's pretty much it."

Collin and George stilled and analyzed Chris's expression. He looked as if he was still confused, but there was dangerous gleam in his eyes that neither of the network operators were comfortable with.

Eventually Chris spoke up. "'Kay, thanks but there's _no way_ I'm doing that. "

Chris Maclean didn't really have a choice in the matter, though. If the network really wanted to they could probably have him go through with an arranged marriage. This is because he had signed a_ contract_ with the network that pretty much said he was their property. If they wanted to make a reality love show staring Chris Maclean, than Chris Maclean was going to star in a reality love show. When Chris Maclean had these details of his singed contract highlighted to him by George Cooper and Collin Johnston he swore to avenge himself somehow. This was just true evil at its most intense form.

"Now I know why everyone _hates_ the fine print!"

"Don't be like that, Chris. You're in charge of the challenges! That's an upside!"

"You get to, ah, ultimately decide who wins!"

"We already told you Chef can be there if you'd like!"

"You can, ah, pick out who you want to be in your, um, film crew!"

Chris listened to their pitiful attempts at putting him, their celebrity, at ease. He had a bit of an epiphany while they ranted. He could make the challenges _really _extreme. He'll make them suffer to the extent that even if someone makes it to the end, there is no way they'd want to accept a relationship with him. It was completely doable. Another plus was that he'd totally get to ruin lives for a paycheck, just like the shows he hosted before. Not to mention he might get a few good looking chicks to mess around with. Oh, and he'd make sure Chef would cook _all _the girl's meals. Seeing the campers enjoying Chef's creations always guaranteed a smile. Maybe he'd just give in and see how far he could push his limits this time around…

"Whatever. Just tell me when we start."

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**I know, it's short, but it's an intro. And like all the other bazillion fics, you can submit original characters that may be used. I really like those fics, though. I think it makes it more fun!**

**Now there's going to be twenty-two contestants, all females – guys will be in this fic, but they won't be in the actual competition. All original TDI contestants will somehow get involved (they all have contracts after all).**

**If you're interested in submitting a lady, then please pm or review the following info:**

**-Full name (and nickname if they have one or what they like to be called)**

**-Age (the youngest can be 18)**

**-****Appearance**** (height, hair color/style, eye color, skin color, makeup worn)**

**- Everyday clothing style/worn, pj's, formal attire**

**-Occupation**

**-Hometown**

**-Personality (pet peeves, what their like, are they social, favorites/least favorites, things that make them different, any catch phrases or mannerism, etc)**

**- What they like about Chris/don't like about Chris**

**-A female TDI cast member you want with Chris on the show**

**-Does your character want to win Chris's heart? His money? Do they not care if they win so long as they have a bit of TV time?**

**-Anything else that you think myself and/or the reading public should know about your lady**

**I also need to be in contact with you so for later chapters, so make sure if you submit one you don't get killed because I'll be needing you. Do whatever it takes – hire body guards, wear body armor, spend your life in a bomb shelter – whatever keeps you safe. **


	2. Someday My Chef Will Come

**The Challenges of Love**

**2. Someday My Chef Will Come**

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**I do not own Total Drama Island or any related spinoffs, merchandise, characters, settings, etc. I also do not own any of the original characters (with an exception of Rachel, who will be voted off first and is there just to push people's buttons). And though I also don't own the idea of reality love shows, I own this messed up plot.**

**Confessionals will serve the same general purpose they do in the Total Drama series and other reality shows, which is to vent or just show how weird you are. The speaker's will be differentiated from other speakers or the plot by regular paragraph spacing.**

**TOiC**_**: "Whenever something is in bold and italics like this, this means that the person is in The Confessional. For example… this. The Confessional will be located in a 'sitting room,' so you'll see a white wall and a black loveseat that they sit on only. It's not a big room, just a place to sit and rant to cameras."**_

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_There was something there_, they had said. Women all over the globe had claimed to feel _something_ for Chris Maclean or at the very least think they could. They had gone to auditions, went to meetings, sent in applications, and now it was down to twenty-three women. Out of this narrowed group of love interests, only one would be left standing. That was all any of the girls knew they had in common with each other; they wanted to be that last girl here.

They had all arrived by a limo sent to pick them up from airports or stations that dropped them off in the nearby city. From there they were driven to and through the winding roads of the Maclean Estate (there was enough statues of Chris to be convinced it was his property at any rate) and dropped off in front of two posh doors that seemed too precious to even knock on. Not that the girls had to worry about knocking, of course. They were all set up in a picturesque fashion on risers at a slant in front of the doors with cameras zooming all around them.

By the time everything had been set up for Chris's promised arrival time, twenty-three women were huddled together in front of the Maclean Mansion (or what some girls were already thinking of as the 'Maclean Castle'). Each woman had a different expression adorning her face and different thoughts circling through her head. None of them were sure of what their experiences over the course of the show would be like, but they were positive that they had a shot at being a part of true Hollywood romance with someone they found worth a fight. That was enough reason for all of them to try and wait patiently and silently.

Well, it was enough reason for _almost_ all of them.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my Go-"

"Shut _up_ already," one of twelve of the taller girls standing on a riser behind eleven shorter girls had hissed. Her face was caked in make-up that wasn't fairing well under the sun. The layers of powder seemed persistent on melting away onto her brand new Armani Exchange shirt. This did nothing to help her naturally sour mood, so she wasn't about to endure some annoying girl's whining.

"Sorry!" the 'Annoying Girl' on the opposite side of the risers squeaked. "I just want to meet Chris _now_. Where is he? Ugh, I'm just _soooo_ nervous. Isn't anyone else here _soooo_ nervous?"

"I'm _soooo_ annoyed," a girl in the front row said lowly to the girl standing beside her. She had thick russet hair that gleamed in the sun fell to her pale shoulders, blocking her moving lips well from Annoying Girl's line of vision.

The girl beside her gave her an icy look. "Actually, I am _very_ nervous." The russet haired girl turned to gauge just how offended she made this stranger, but she started to laugh when she noticed the girl cracking a smile. "Fine, ya got me, dude. I am _very_ annoyed, too." She pushed her long honey colored hair behind her ear. "What's your name, my oh-so-anonymous housemate?"

"Tawni," the russet haired girl answered coolly. She had a feeling she had made her first friend. That is, if you could consider a rival in love a friend, which she overlooked. "You?"

The vivacious blonde grinned, feeling the same way Tawni did. "Shelly."

Standing behind the two new friends as they excitedly introduced themselves, a sweet faced brunette felt a bit left out and turned to smile at the girl to her right. "Hi, my name's Lena ," she said brightly, putting her hand out. The girl she was trying to make friends with was scribbling away in a notebook and completely oblivious to Lena, much to her chagrin. She figured she'd try again. "Oh, excuse me, but I–"

"Lena. Yes, I heard you," the girl huffed and she started jotting down words more violently in her notebook. "I just don't want to give you an excuse to think I care about anything you have to say after that."

Lena didn't look discouraged at the cruel remark. She decided to overlook the rude introduction and give the writer the benefit of the doubt. "So," she tried again with the same friendly air, "what are you writing about?"

The writer looked up from her book with wide eyes and snapped it shut. "What's it to you?"

Lena was struck speechless by the accusing look the girl was giving her. "I was just trying to make conversation…" she squinted her eyes and leaned in a bit and noticed a name engraved on the front of the notebook, "…Kayla, right?"

The writer, who looked crazy before, was violently shaking and went out of her way to cover the name on her journal. "Don't. Call. Me. That. Name."

Lena felt confused as to why this girl was so upset. "But it said Kayla Anderson on the cover. Isn't that your name?"

"It was my birth name, yes. But I have left that behind. I only go by my soul name – likewise my pen name – now."

Lena's green eyes sparkled, thinking that this Kayla girl was opening up to her. "Well, what is it?"

For the first time in the entire conversation, the writer smiled wide and announced: "My name is Stormy Swift!"

Tawni and Shelly, who had ended up catching the end of the conversation, peeled apart into laughter at the enthusiasm in which the psychotic writer declared her name. Not understanding that everyone thought she was weird, she shrugged and flipped her book open, getting back to her notes.

"I'm glad you're using your notebook even though it doesn't have your… err… soul name on it." Lena looked at the other side of Ka-_Stormy_ to see a girl with blonde hair tucked into a neat bun wearing khakis with a navy vest over a white button-up shirt. Feeling Lena's eyes on her, she gave the girl her attention. "At least she isn't wasting paper, right?"

"Right sounds like write…" Stormy muttered to herself. "That could be a _pun_…"

Lena decided that Stormy might not be such good first friend material and she'd just have to come back to her later. In the meantime, this other girl knew what she was talking about. "I couldn't agree more. Based on my studies I believe her book, which has about as many pages as a decent sized novel, must have taken about six trees to make. If she were to throw her book out because of the mere fact her name was wrong, that's be like burning them down." Lena shook her head and her brown layered hair fell over her eyes. "That'd be _horrible_."

The blonde felt elated that this Lena girl knew all of that information. "Wow, I am impressed by your background, Lena. It's nice when people who have strong opinions can back them up. Oh, and you can call me Katroina, by the way."

Meanwhile, a few girls down the line, the woman with too-much makeup berated herself for starting up conversation. Now she had to put up with _everyone_ talking and getting to know each other. "I'm _so_ ready to walk into that house," she said aloud, trying to hear herself over the chit-chatting bubbling around her. "If CC doesn't get here in _five _minutes I'm just going in anyway, I swear."

"CC?" Two girls who had been talking amongst one another in front of her turned around on cue.

"What the hell is a _CC_?"The one directly in front of her questioned. She had bleached blond hair that sailed to her hips, which were sporting a pair of zebra print shorts. She had a pink and white striped tube top and light brown Ugg boots to finish the outfit off.

"What the hell are you _wearing_?"

Before the bleached blond could retaliate, her friend who stood beside her quickly interjected and ended a possible fight. "Hey, I didn't catch your name, did I?"

The make-up girl snarled, not appreciating that any of these random girls thought they were worth her time. However this girl, who looked like some Mexican beauty from a Spanish music video than a middle class pest, made her take the order with no resistance "Krissy Moore."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "That's a nice name. I'm Roxanne Beadford, but I prefer to go by Roxie."

"And I'd prefer if we didn't give this snobby bitch the time of day," the bleached blond told Roxie, her jade green eyes hardening under the glare Krissy was giving her. "She obviously doesn't want to talk to anyone who's not up for bowing to her."

"Excuse me, Roxanne," Krissy interjected with a biting tone, her eyes never leaving the blonde, "but could you tell me the name of the girl with no fashion sense?"

"It's Madina, but my friends call me Maddie. So I guess as far as your concerned _it's just Madina_," the bleached blond answered coldly. "And you never told us what CC is."

Krissy flipped her hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "CC is short for Chris Chris, which is my nickname for Chris."

Maddie bit her lip and tried to stifle her laugh. "Wait, Chris Chris is your nickname for just _Chris_?"

"Duh, I just said that."

**Maddie: **_**She's holding back her laughter as she talks to the camera. "Man, this is so worth my first confessional visit! That girl is messed up! Forget the fact that she probably has never met the guy and is already giving him a nickname – but it's longer than his actual name is! Am I seriously the only one who thinks that's so stupid it's funny?"**_

Maddie was elated when she noticed that the girl standing beside Krissy was also in hysterics. Krissy looked her up and down and gave her a 'Who do you think you are?' face. This only made the girl laugh harder.

"I'm sorry, but it _is_ kind of funny," she said, swiping a hand through her short copper colored hair. As she did this, Krissy noticed a designer purse dangling from her arm and her scowl became a smirk.

"Coach? Nice."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I like designer purses. It's my weakness." She admitted with a smile.

Not wanting this seemingly cool girl to befriend the designated bitch, Maddie nudged Roxie who was closer to her to bring her into their web of friendship first. Roxie rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless at Maddie's eagerness. "Hi. I'm Roxie and this is Maddie. What's your name?"

"Lauren!" she said a bit too quickly with a soft laugh and a wave. Then she noticed Maddie's outfit and her smile got wider. "Wow… you look _really_ pretty! I love your sense of style!"

Maddie gave Krissy a confident smirk and puffed her chest out a bit. Krissy looked away and grumbled something to herself about everyone being out to get her.

She wasn't the only one who felt alone, though. On the opposite end of the risers a girl was tugging her black beanie down over her cropped brown hair and chewing fiercely on her lip. Then a layer of tears started to build up on her bottom lashes and before she could hold them back they gushed out. In a matter of seconds the girl was sobbing hard as she tried to stretch her beanie over her face.

Katroina glanced briefly away from Lena to face the girl (who was next to her) as she let out a low wail and desperately clawed at her hat once more. She gave a questioning look to Lena, hoping her environmentalist pal had noticed something she hadn't, but she just shrugged in a mirror image of confusion and worry.

Despite their worried expressions, Annoying Girl from earlier opted to bounce up and down on her heals excitedly. "Why are you crying? Is it nerves? I bet it's nerves. I have nerves, too! And not that good kind of nerves. Noooo these nerves I have are the _bad _kind of nerves. These nerves are the kind that make you feel all ucky in your stomach and you get the cloggy feeling in your throat and your forehead sweats and your palms get sticky and you start convulsing and –"

Another loud wail drowned out the rest of Annoying Girl's statement and she reached out for the person in front of her and pulled her arm into a crushing hug, soaking her shoulder with hot tears.

The victim of the tear-drenched hold paled a bit and looked at the other girls for support. It turns out she had her iPod turned up so loud she hadn't really been paying attention to anything much less the scene playing out behind her. She struggled to take her earphones out with one constricted arm before addressing the sniveling beanie-wearer. "Uh… are you… okay?"

Sniveling beanie-wearer shook her head and held her tighter.

"Is that chick crying?" Shelly, who was a few girls down from the sobbing girl, turned Tawni's attention to the cause of the louder conversations buzzing on the risers.

"Looks like it," Tawni confirmed. "I wonder why… HEY, YOU OVER THERE – NOT _YOU_, THE ONE CUDDLING YOUR ARM! Oh, you'll work! WHY'S SHE CRYING?"

"I have NO idea!" Feeling the entire short sleeve of her purple v-neck get heavy and start to drip onto her skin, she shivered uncomfortably yet still managed to become more concerned. Taking a softer tone, she lifted her shoulder up a bit. "Do you… want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

"It's just," the girl sniffed. "It's just," she sniffed again. "It's just that I'm afraid Chris won't like me." She howled and clung even tighter to her housemate's arm.

The victim of the hug's face fell. "… Really?"

Annoying Girl did a victory dance by punching fists into the air and stomping the ground with her toes. "I knew that was the reason. Those nerves infect many persons. I would know. My great-grandfather was a _doctor_, you know." She grinned at the crying girl and her captive. "That's where I get my name 'Rachel Haynes' from."

"Your great-grandfather's name was Rachel?"

"No, silly. _His_ name was Rebecca due to a tragic incident involving his birth certificate and my great-great grandmother. I meant I got the Haynes part of my name from him."

She let out a light laugh, finding whatever this Rachel-character was spewing to be mildly entertaining. "Well my name's Audrey Lovett, but you can call me Al."

"I'm Nina!" The crying girl looked up briefly to nod at the two girls before sobbing back into Al's arm. Giving up any home of reclaiming said arm, she settled for patting Nina's head and hoping she'd get self-esteem sometime soon.

Al looked up at Rachel pleadingly. "I really have no clue how to get her to feel better. I'm too reserved to know how to deal with strangers. And I wouldn't mind getting fired from being her personal tissue sometime soon, either."

"I wouldn't mind trying to help out if that's alright by you," a woman beside Al offered. She had a dazzling smile and warm persona that made Al relax a bit.

"Go ahead."

The new face hastily ditched her position to go around to stand on the ground beside the riser Nina was on. She had a nice features with high cheekbones and large eyes that were a dark, intense blue. Her blonde hair was pin-straight and was cut clean just above her elbows with bright pink highlights assorted through. "Hello, Nina. My name is Charlie Denvers. I work as an advice columnist for the San Francisco Times, which is a popular newspaper back in California." Nina sniffed and looked up from Al's sleeve, waiting for her to continue. "I think I can help you since most of the advice I offer is romance oriented. If it helps to console you, I've never offered a solution that didn't work – according to the letters back and fan mail, that is."

"Great, we have a professional on the premises," Al said sincerely.

Charlie laughed and even Nina let a giggle out as she released her clutch on Al's arm. "Really? But aren't I your competition? Don't you want to win Chris, too?"

"Hun, don't bother yourself with those kinds of thoughts," Charlie said with a comforting smile. "You're above that! And you really shouldn't think about Chris like an object or something intangible you have to fight and get stressed out to the point of tears for. Don't you think, knowing what he's done in his past shows, that being in such a devastated state before you've even had the opportunity to meet him is something he will surely exploit? Then you'll be left feeling weak during the duration of the competition and your relationship. That's not fair at all. Feel empowered! He's got to live up to your standards, too. It's not a one-way street."

Katroina and Lena were about to reengage in conversation since this Nina person was looking better when they heard what sounded like a gremlin laugh come from Stormy, who was frantically jotting notes down with a new vigor.

**Stormy: **_**"This is such good writing material! Great for a side project I plan on doing after I'm finished with my current book… and I don't even have to check her information since she's a claimed professional. It makes life so much easier… muahaha…" She huddles over her book and jots more notes down with a twisted grin.**_

Nina nodded and made a fist that she slapped into her palm. "Yeah, you know what? You're right. I shouldn't think of this like I'm competing against other girls for a prize and get myself worked up. I'm worth just as much consideration as he is!"

"Exactly! Just treat this relationship as you have previous relationships. He's not any more special than any normal guy you've ever dated. He's still just a guy!"

The corner's of Nina's mouth fell as she resumed trembling. "I've never had a… a… relationship before!" She wailed. Luckily for Al, who was apparently too nice to shove her off before, Nina cuddled up into the fetal position where she had stood.

A woman who looked to be the youngest in the bunch pursed her lips in distaste at the scene. This woman was also the most color coordinated of the group– her bob was a flaming orange, her skin had the orange glow of a recent trip to tanning bed central, she wore an orange summer dress with orange flats, and her eyes were a yellow-brown (it was close to orange, mind you). "I hope _she_ gets voted off first," she said to the girls on either side of her.

"Which 'she'?" One of the girl's asked. She had a lean build with firm muscles, though she looked too easygoing to make anyone worry about getting on her bad side. She gazed at the orange girl with bored violet eyes, though her black bangs covered up her left eye even though her hair was pulled back. Something that made her stand out a bit was a guitar case she had hooked in a tight fist. "In case you hadn't noticed, you're surrounded by them."

Orangey looked her up and down and decided she was too 'punk' to associate with, but that she mine-as-well rant to her since she was the only one willing to talk to her at the moment. "Nina. She's much too immature to be here."

Not liking the tone her voice had taken or the looks she'd been given, the violet-eyed girl brought someone else into the conversation. "What do you think – er, what's your name?"

She blinked and blushed a bit at being talked to so directly. "Oh, umm… I think we should leave it up to Chris to decide. I don't want to judge anyone I don't know." Then she blushed deeper and said in a rushed voice, "Oh, and my name is Sapphire. Who are you?"

"Vikki," she said with a slight wave. "And you don't have to be all shy. We will be living together, right?"

Sapphire nodded slightly. "It just takes me a bit to warm up to people," she said in a small voice, looking down at her fidgeting thumbs.

"Whatever," Orangey said. "You don't have to agree with me I suppose. I'll just hope that she'll get destroyed in our first challenge and then you both get sent home soon after."

Sapphire's baby blues sparkled as she kept her head down and Vikki gave her Orangey a disbelieving look.

**Vikki: **_**"She wants a girl she doesn't even know to get hurt and for us to get sent home for… what reasons, exactly? What'd we ever do to her? She could always just be talking down because she's nervous or intimidated. In that case she just needs to chill out and get to know the people she'll be living with for a while. Or at least be civil or something, geeze."**_

**Sapphire: Her eyes still have stars in them as she looks at the camera. **_**"I hope Chris will be coming up with challenges. I'm so excited to see what he comes up with! I really enjoyed all his challenges in his other shows, so I have high expectations!**__**And of course, there isn't anything I can't handle, so I'm not worried about losing the challenge… or going home." **_

"How about you? You agree with me, don't you?" Orangey directly asked a girl sporting a lilac sundress across from her, who was staring off into… well, no one was too sure exactly _what_ she was looking at. She was seemingly daydreaming in the middle of the front row without a care in the world.

For looking as though she wasn't paying anyone much mind, she was quick to answer. "I would prefer to not give my opinions on people I do not know, thank you. That would be shallow."

She said it kindly, but it still ticked Orangey off. "Who do you think you are?"

"It's polite to introduce yourself before asking someone else their name and any other sort of personal information."

This was not said in a snobby way, either. More in a lax 'just so you know' manner. Still, Orangey hadn't agreed with her. "You _all_ deserve to go home."

Vikki enjoyed the way the spaced-out girl handled herself and decided to take the initiative to introduce herself. "Yo. I'm Vikki and this is Sapphire."

Feeling well approached, she nodded her head and her thin ash blond hair fluttered around her chin. "Hello, my name is Lea… and I noticed you have a guitar out with you."

Vikki smiled wide and patted her guitar case with her free hand. "I don't go anywhere without Luns with me."

"That's nice," she said and Vikki started to tell her about what songs she played and about her band back home. Sapphire and Lea weren't as social as she was, but they made sure to nod at the right times and seemed genuinely interested. This ticked off Orangey, who found herself in the middle of the new friends she had pretty much ruined any chances of a comradeship with.

"It sucks to be her," two girls watching the situation unfold said in unison. One had shiny black hair that fell to the straps of her dark blue tank top, which she wore with black jeans and had introduced herself as Serenity. The other girl had much longer brown hair with blond highlights cut through it and wore a more formal pink halter and blue capris with a silver heart shining from a thin chain around her neck. She had introduced herself as Bell.

"She kinda asked for it, though, the way she tried to make everyone around her say someone they thought she be voted off when we only know the people around us," Bell said so she wouldn't sound too sorry for her.

"I completely agree. Mental note: avoid… er… what's-her-face." Serenity nodded to confirm this to herself. "Work's torture enough, I don't want to be here and have psycho backstabbers trying to make my life hell."

"Her name's Ulli Schmidt – at least that's the name tattooed to the back of her neck. Out of curiosity, what do you do for a living that's so torturous?"

"I'm a High School Aide," Serenity answered casually.

**Serenity: **_**"And all the crap those students put me through has prepared me well for this, so I guess there are some perks to the job."**_

"I bet it is torture," a girl beside them with black hair molded into a faux hawk agreed in a cool voice. She seemed to be talking more to herself than them, but that could've just been her shyness shining through. She pushed her thick rimmed glasses up a bit and glanced over at the two with bright blue-green eyes. "I remember the kind of stunts some of the kids in my classes used to pull on them. It was a bit ridiculous what they got away with."

Serenity sighed. "I mean, I guess I don't have it so bad or I would've quit by now, y'know?"

**Serenity: **_**"That's a lie… I wish I **_**could**_** quit. It's just I don't want to unless I know the book I'm writing will get published and be successful. I know this one girl who used to work as an aide with me and she had about enough and quit her second week – she's the same girl who lives in a box a couple blocks away from me. Poor thing."**_

"Well hey, you've been all antisocial up until just now and I don't think I got your name yet, did I? I'm Bell. The tortured aide is Serenity."

"How ya doing?" Serenity waved.

The girl with the faux hawk grinned nervously as her introversion was called out on. "I'm Dawn," she greeted, waving slightly back.

"I'M SO NERVOUS!" Rachael was heard shouting again across the risers. This random exclamation was followed by laughs, nods, and a chorus of people shouting 'shut up.'

This made Bell laugh. "I can't imagine being nervous enough to yell about it. She's got it bad."

"You think so?" Serenity wondered.

"Yeah I do. I mean she hasn't even met him yet and she's about to freak out and go into cardiac arrest."

"I'm with you there." A tall girl who screamed 'punk' with waist-length brown hair and pink highlights splayed across her bright green hoodie yawned. She looked bored despite listening to music through large skull candy headphones adorned with stickers. She took her headphones off and hung them around her neck. "I can't imagine anyone here liking Chris at all and some of these freaks seem like they'd go elope with him right now if they could."

**Dawn: **_**"I feel a bit out of place with all the gossip and smack talk going on around me. It's probably why I get along better with guys than I do girls, I just don't get into stuff like that."**_

Bell smiled and gave her thumbs up. "That's what I'm talking about! Forget the romance and get to the excitement!"

The punk patted her back. "Right – Bell, was it?" Bell nodded enthusiastically. "Cool. I'm Jade."

**Jade: **_**"Looks like I found some people here who aren't a fangirl-in-training, psychopathic, or hopeless romantics. Hell, they don't even seem to be bitchy preps. Am I lucky or what?"**_

"You two aren't here for Chris?" another girl who was silent before had finally spoken up. She didn't seem angry, though. If anything she just seemed to have a pure childlike curiosity.

"Nope," Jade said unabashed.

"Wow," she said softly. "Das ist _sehr_ interessant…"

"Um, what did you say?" Bell asked, wondering if she was insulting them or something.

"I just said that was interesting is all," the girl replied with a wave of her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't say my name yet but I know all yours – I'm Kristina."

"I'm going to guess you're here for Chris?" Serenity asked politely.

"Something like that." Kristina swooned a bit at the thought of being there for Chris. She had a gut feeling there was more to him than these girls were seeing.

Krissy, who was being avidly ignored by all the girls around her and was 'accidentally overhearing' the other girls conversation, gasped loudly to get their attention. "You mean to tell me that there are some people here who _aren't_ interested in CC? I hate those girls already."

"CC?" Jade wondered at hearing the declaration of rivalry. She looked genuinely perplexed.

"CC equals Chris Chris which equals Chris," Lauren said brightly, happy to help someone out. Bringing the nickname up again caused Maddie to break off from the conversation she was having with Roxie to go back into a fit of laughter.

**Roxie: **_**"This is probably going to be an on-going joke all season. Krissy just set herself up for that one, didn't she? If she would try to make friends with everyone instead of judging them for their style and differences, I don't think it'd be as funny as it is. That's how karma works, though."**_

"Mandy, isn't that funny?" Maddie asked a girl who had been standing beside Krissy on the far right of the top riser. At being so boldly addressed by someone she hadn't spoken to she awkwardly wrung her writs and nodded. "Er, yeah. Hilarious."

**Mandy: **_**"These girls can put all their attention on Krissy. Good for them. They won't even see me taking them out if the focus is on her, which is most likely what's going to happen since she can't keep her mouth shut." **_**Mandy stifled a laugh. **_**"Heh, CC…"**_

"Shut your mouth, bitch!" Krissy shouted, glaring at Maddie. "I've had about enough of you, you rude middle-class –"

"Hey!" Lauren and Maddie shouted out in unison, neither looking too happy.

**Shelly: **_**"I can barely hear Tawni talking over everyone shouting 'bitch' and 'shut up' back and forth. And that girl who's crying and the other girl who's still shouting on about nerves doesn't make it easier to listen."**_

Tawni still managed to hear Shelly despite the noise, though. "It totally looks like we're going to have major drama before Chris even gets here."

Tawni made a face and had a bit of an epiphany. She checked her watch and felt her eyes go wide.

**Tawni: **_**"Chris should have been here HOURS ago. The producers told us fifteen minutes of waiting TWO HOURS and FORTY MINUTES ago. That's why the wait felt like forever, 'cause it's been forever and forty minutes! What the hell?"**_

"Things aren't looking good here," Katroina said to Lena, thinking along the same lines as Tawni and Shelly.

Somehow through all the chaos, something black and shiny caught Lea's eye but it disappeared behind a large row of foliage so she wasn't sure what it was exactly. Then she saw it clearly pulling into the end of the driveway and slowly accelerating to the girls. "It's a limo," she said aloud.

Everyone seemed to hear the word 'limo' and immediately pasted their eyes to the shiny, sleek limo that was headed their way. The already wild scene took a momentary turn for the worst as people made sure they were in the exact spots the camera crew had set them in when they arrived and prepared themselves to see Chris Maclean walking out the doors.

Some girls were nervous…

**Nina: "**_**I hope Chris thinks I'm prettier than the other pretty girls here… and it'd be nice if you he noticed me more than any of them, too. I always wanted a love-at-first-site kind of thing. I really think I would love him if I saw him in person. But I mean I get so self-conscious thinking about him and I think about him all the time. I already know everything there is to know so I guess that helps me out a bit… I am a coordinator on his second highest hit fansites after all. I just need him to realize his love for me… but now I'm left wondering… HOW DO I GET HIM TO LOVE ME WHEN I'M THE UGLIEST AND PROBABLY LEAST EXPERIENCED GIRL HERE?" **_

Some were more composed and weren't worried a bit…

**Serenity: **_**"I'm not nervous at all. The thing is this: yeah I think Chris is hot and his sadism makes him that much sexier, but it's not like I want to seriously date him. I mean how often do these reality show romances work out anyway? The real reason I'm here is because of a dare I have with a friend." **_**A camera crew member shouts out that he wants to know what the repercussions of the dare was and why exactly she felt obligated to go through with it rather than blow it off, but it didn't look like she was going to talk anytime soon.**

Some were excited…

**Bell: **_**"This is going to be one hell of a life experience! Whether I get Chris… or his money… or lose or whatever else happens to me will be something exciting that would never happen if I had stayed in Washington. To say I'm excited would be an understatement right now."**_

Some hoped the girls would all drop dead…

**Ulli: **_**"I hope all the girls drop dead!"**_

And some weren't too sure what they were supposed to be feeling.

**Lea: **_**"I've always thought there was more to Chris than what I saw on TV, the magazines, the internet, you name it. I hope I'm not let down and Chris turns out to be a lot different than I had expected. It happens."**_

The limo pulled up slowly a few feet in front of the girls. Tension tightened around everyone's stomach. The camera crew was leaning in close to the limo door, zooming in on the man they had been expecting hours ago. The limo door opened and…

**Krissy: **_**"Oh you have got to be effing **_**kidding**_** me!"**_

**Shelly: **_**"… Did I sign up for the right show?..."**_

**Rachel: **_**"It's my nerves. They have hacked into my brain and are manipulating my mind so I don't see things right. That's the only possible explanation… DAMN YOU, NERVES!"**_

"Chef?" One of the camera crew members asked apprehensively.

It was true. Chris Maclean did not step out of the limo. Chef Hatchet, however, did. He had a small suitcase with him and was already donning an apron and large white hat. He was also already glaring at all the girls as if sizing them up.

"Chef! It's about time you got here! How was the trip, buddy?"

All the women twirled around with death glares set in their eyes to see the guy they've been waiting for come striding out of the front door of the mansion. He had a million watt smile as he made his way over to his friend, not even bothering to look over at the girls.

**Kristina: **_**"And there is reason number one why my friends told me not to sign up for this show. Because I'm here for Chris Maclean."**_

**Charlie: **_**"He seems to be lacking commitment to this show and likewise to all the girls that are here for him by coming in late. How does he expect to have any sort of romantic connection with anyone here if he is already faltering in one of the three key areas of a successful relationship?"**_

"It was horrible. You owe me a new high-caliber water rifle. Did you know you aren't allowed to bring anything resembling a gun onto an private airplane either? Back in the military, you were a fool not bring one and now you can't even bring anything that looks like one."

"Bummer, dude, I'll take care of it for you." Chris turned to walk to the house and he finally noticed all the killer intent aimed at him. Well not really, but he _did_ notice the females they were attached to.

"Well hi there!" he said gaily.

"Hi, Chris!" Lena said back. She seemed to be the only one unphased by his lateness.

**Lena: **_**"People make mistakes sometimes. It happens. I'm not going to throw away a good opportunity because of one silly one."**_

"I guess you're all here for the show then, right?"

**Lea: **_**"He doesn't look very excited about his show. I would think any guy, especially with a reputation like his, would be enthusiastic at this opportunity."**_

**Al: **_**"I turned by iPod back on, so I can't really hear what he's saying. Somehow this makes me agree with whatever he's mouthing about more." **_**She smiled down at her iPod. "**_**Music – you got to love it."**_

"Well then, I guess it's to explain something's to you ladies about what the next couple of weeks will be like for you guys here on: _The_ _Challenges_ – _of_ – _Love_!"

**Katroina: **_**"One of the goals I have beside to win Chris's heart here is to try and change Chris for the better. I have a feeling love isn't going to be my only challenge." **_

* * *

**Here is a listing of all the girls and their creators in good ol' ABC order by last names. They deserve props for being creative with the ladies submitted and putting their beloved ideas up for the kind of torment you only see on reality TV:**

**-Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson – **_**Singstar Master**_

**-Serenity Brandon – **_**DarkNinja1994**_

**-Roxanne 'Roxie' Beadford – **_**One Black Rose**_

**-Sapphire Caligre – Petit-Sapphire-Jai**

**-Mandy Cassiders – **_**Snowstarwriter **_

**-Kristina Colmar – **_**giannamclean**_

**-Charlie Denvers – **_**Good Girls Like Bad Boys**_

**-Tawni Fernix – **_**HowlingWulf**_

**-Katroina Geddes – **_**logicaliger**_

**-Lena Greene – **_**1000GreenSun**_

**-Lea Jenson – **_**xx . Feline . Of . Avenue . B . xx (without the spaces of course XP)**_

**-Victoria 'Vikki' Love – **_**Victoria Poe**_

**-Issabelle 'Bell' Marely –**_** funkydoodle99**_

**-Kristen 'Krissy, Moe' Moore – **_**RamenIsRad**_

**-Audrey 'Al' Lovett – **_**lazyASshika**_

**-Dawn Payne – **_**NaitomeaKatze**_

**-Madina 'Maddie' Roy – **_**Santi48**_

**-Lauren Russ – **_**Blond with a Brain**_

**-Ulli Schmidt – **_**Breezy-chan**_

**-Jade Smith – **_**tdicrazy**_

**-Shelly Smith – **_**Queen O' Randomness**_

_**Special thanks go out to: Mimi (who reviewed without an account – you made me laugh so hard XD) and The Feline (for the making sure I updated promptly ~ I'm much obliged.)**_


	3. War of the Rooms

**The Challenges of Love**

**3. War of the Rooms**

* * *

**The early chapter update is **_**Blond with a Brain**_**'s birthday gift. :) **

**Though I do own the plot, I have no ownership over any of the lovely OC's ('cept Rachel) or Total Drama Island and anything related or associated with it, or any other forms of mass media or writings (i.e. The Importance of Being Earnest). **

* * *

Even though Chris Maclean wasn't a contestant (he didn't need to compete for his own love – he'd always have it) he had still managed to cheat. It wasn't exactly a hard thing to do; The Network had laid out specific Chris Can Do's and Chris Can't Do's for him and yet he found that neither of these lists were very consequential. As far as he was concerned every aspect of _his _show was free game. He just had to go about some 'restricted matters' a bit differently than others was all.

A week before the first episode was to start filming, Chris had an epiphany: he knew nothing about the girls he would be sharing months of his life with. How creepy and unfair was that?

"When you play Blind-Date Cupid to give your man a hookup, you at least gotta give him some basics about her. Like her name and her looks. _Everyone_ knows that." Chris had said this to Collin Johnston – the more easily tricked and persuaded Network owner. Not that Chris planned on tricking or persuading him, of course…

"Ah, it said in your contract that you aren't, um, allowed to have any information concerning the girls," Collin said, but he sounded like he was already doubting himself.

"C'mon – just let me see the front of their portfolio's so I get a name and a face. Then I'll be outta your space and leave you to do whatever it is you do. Simple as that."

Collin couldn't see any major issue. He would want the same privileges if he was in Chris's situation that Chris wanted. It did seem reasonable to him at the time. "I suppose there's no harm in _that_…"

Once Chris had seen all twenty-three names and faces, he had started to work on convincing Collin that he should see the girl's audition tapes. It was around that time that the walrus-like George Cooper had waddled in and caught Chris breaking his contract. Permission or no permission, this was _bad_. Because he had violated his contract, George had done one of the most awful things he could have done…

Even though that incident had been weeks ago, Chris would definitely be feeling the repercussions tonight. Fast-forward to now and his punishment was hot on his mind, though not as hot as the camera lights. He gave the camera closest to him a smirk only a cocky celebrity could pull off and announced in an award-winning voice: "I guess it's time to explain some thing's to you ladies about what the next couple of weeks will be like for you guys here on _The_ – _Challenges_ – _of_ – _Love_!"

Everything got eerily quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were the '_ping_!' of Chris' teeth as he smiled, Chef's heavy breathing, and some girl crying. After a few moments of this two bored camera crew members decided to lead Chef to his room so that Chris could formally introduce the girl's to the competition.

"Catch ya later then, Chef!" Chris waved his partner-in-crime off and turned to face the girls with his dazzling smile still intact. "As you all know, my name is Chris Maclean! During the duration of your stay here on the show, you all are expected to compete in an assortment of more than likely painful and illegal challenges to win quality time with your truly. "

**Sapphire: **_**"YES! He really IS going to have challenges!"**_

**Nina: **_**"NO! He really IS going to have challenges!"**_

"Every so often there will be an elimination ceremony held in The Garden, which I'm pretty sure is some place out back," Chris said. "All girls who will be staying shall be given a piece of chocolate. And when I say chocolate, I mean the good stuff that melts in your mouth. Yum! _But_ anyone who _does not_ receive a chocolate must make their way to the Helipad of Shame and be flown away in the Helicopter of Losers where they will never return… _ever_."

**Jade: **_**"How come in all the shows he's in, you go to someplace 'Of Shame' and leave in the something 'Of Losers?' Whatever, as long as the place we get sent to when we're eliminated is cool."**_

Now, Chris thought bitterly, he had to announce the first part of his punishment for cheating his contract. "Luckily for all of you, there will be no elimination ceremony tonight." He winced as he said this but it went unnoticed for the most part. "Just get your crap and pick a room. There will be –"

"CC HOLD UP! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER! SOMEONE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW I HAVE YOUR BACK! THERE ARE SOME GIRLS HERE WHO AREN'T HERE FOR YOU!" Krissy randomly shouted out in distress, jabbing a finger at each girl as she ticked off their names. "LIKE THIS GIRL HERE – HER NAME'S BELL, THIS JADE GIRL, THAT SERENITY GIRL! AND A BUNCH MORE I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT!"

**Serenity: "**_**… Who is she and how does she know my name…?"**_

**Bell: **_**"So much for no elimination today. He's bound to get rid of all the people she mentioned. Hmm, I wonder who she is, anyways… I don't remember talking to her."**_

**Jade: **_**"That was… weird."**_

Chris blinked. "CC? Who's that?" He didn't remember coming across any CC's in his portfolio hunt.

On cue Maddie was pointing and laughing at that black-haired girl with too much makeup. Krissy simmered. "We'll talk about that later, baby," she assured him. "Right now you need to focus on getting rid of the girls that aren't here for you." She pouted. "Don't you care?"

He blinked again and shrugged. "Not really, no."

**Krissy: **_**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REALLY CARE? What the hell is wrong with you? If you weren't so rich, hot, and famous, I would beat the shit out of you for keeping me here for three hours and ruining my makeup and then leave!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and hunched forward on her palms. "Thing is, Chris is really rich, super hot, and very famous. Guess I'll just have to deal until I win this thing."**_

Some other people were confused by this as well. He didn't care that girls weren't here for him? _Really_? Is that normal?

"Back to what I was saying," Chris continued as if he hadn't done anything out of the ordinary, "we've got seven rooms set-up for all of you. There will be three roomies per room with the exception of two rooms were there will be four."

"Do we get to pick our rooms?" Tawni asked.

"Seeing as I don't remember assigning faces to rooms I'd have to say yes, it's ladies choice."

Just like that the girls were off to find a room that suited their tastes, leaving Chris alone outside with the camera crew. It was this moment the camera zoomed in on Chris to see an upward curve in his lip and a glint of pure evil in his eye. He looked over at the camera crew with the same mischievous face. "Heh, I don't _have_ to set a challenge up to cause bloodshed. This, kids, is what we call _being a pro_."

* * *

Krissy and Ulli were in the lead for the rampage inside. They seemed to be the only girls desperate to get first pick. They had shared a thought mid sprint, though – they had no idea where to go. So, not knowing what else to do, they stopped at the top of a large marble staircase and did what big girls do: pout.

"What _now_?" Ulli huffed and looked at the three options she had: straight ahead, left, and right. All the nice looking doors threw her off; she couldn't tell which hallways was the nicest one.

**Ulli: **_**"Chris really should've given us a map or had arrows set up or something to work with. I feel like I'm in a hotel… and judging from my company, it's a **_**bad**_** one."**_

"Which way are the rooms?" Bell asked as she made her way up to the two 'mature' contestants.

"I wouldn't be, like, standing here if I knew!" Krissy looked around and decided to simply plow forward. "I bet they're all some place down here and we wasted all that time standing around here for nothing."

Maddie, Roxie, and Lauren had caught up with Ulli and Bell. Seeing Krissy take-off straight ahead, Maddie shook her head. "I hope there aren't any rooms down there."

"Hey ladies! I forgot something!" Chris chirped out in a sing-song manner over the speakers. Wait… speakers? The girls all looked up and saw that in every corner where the ceiling met the wall there was, in fact, a speaker. "Just so you people do more than drool at my staircase, here's some directions: there are six rooms at the very end of the hallway to the left and only one room on the very end in the hallway to the right. Just for the record, the one on the right is coincidentally yet conveniently located right _across the hall from my room_! It includes all the luxuries that the one lucky girl who gets it could ever want. So don't all go wage war on it… though, personally I think the room is worth waging war because it's just that spiffy. Maclean out!"

The girls stopped in their tracks. "One really nice room?" Nina asked to no one in particular. "Sounds like a really nice room."

As if he heard her, Chris answered back over the speakers. "Yes, _one_. As for the other six rooms… heh, well, let's just say that they have _a lot_ of space for your stuff."

The speakers clicked off again and everyone was more confused. "A lot of space…?"

Ulli skyrocketed down the left hallway and came across six doors. She opened all of them and zig-zagged from room to room. When she had finished searching she let out a long, low-pitched scream. "THERE'S NOTHING IN THEM! No beds, no dressers – nothing!"

"Not nothing!" Lena, who had made her way down there as well, poked her head out of a room all the way on the end of the hall with a smile gracing her face. "There's outlets and windows! And the windows have these really nice shades!"

**Lena: **_**"I really think people are making too big a deal about the room-thing. I've slept outside in the rain using only the muddy earth as my mattress during countless anti-deforestation protests. This is definitely a step-up from that."**_

Nina looked pensively at everyone around her. "Did anyone here bring an air mattress or a sleeping bag to sleep on?" Everyone shook their heads and dedicated a moment of silence to their cooperative hatred of Chris – that rich, selfish, sadistic bastard.

Back at the staircase, Lauren had come skipping up the stairs before resuming her skip down the right hallway. Maddie cocked a pierced brow into her bleach blonde bangs. "Whoa – all the rooms are that way- oh wait, _they aren't_!" Lauren winked and Maddie picked her bags up and snuck away with her as everyone went down the opposite halls to take a look at just how bad these rooms were. It seemed that drama was overshadowing the really nice room advertisement.

And, apparently, the 'really nice shades' were the only 'really nice' things in the otherwise 'really [not] nice' rooms.

"Drywall. I am surrounded by drywall." Tawni scowled at the room she was in. Her dim eyes radiated a disappointment at what she was seeing. "Not to mention the fact I am walking on cement. Seriously, who was this guy's decorator and where do they live?"

**Bell: **_**"On all the reality love shows I ever saw, the rooms were all really awesome and there were at least carpeted and had painted walls. This wasn't what I was expecting at all! I was hoping the rooms would be a highlight of being here on the show. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume Chris helped in the creation of these awful rooms. That would make the most sense considering normal people don't usually think cement makes good flooring in bedrooms."**_

"Alright, ladies and girls!" Al clapped her hands together and managed to attract everyone's attention to her. "Let's forgo trying to pick out which deluxe room we want and at least get the roommate situation figured out so we have something handled the way we want. I don't think we all want to be cramped together as we chill-out in paradise."

"Sarcasm…" Stormy scribbled vigorously in her book. "That's a good technique often associated with satirical pieces as well as irony."

Al sweat dropped. "Amazing…"

**Al: **_**"So that red-head chick freaks me out a bit. I try not to judge people, but she really does. How do you act around someone who is writing down word-for-word what your say and do? It's tricky."**_

"Idiots." Everyone looked over to see Krissy wheezing at the door, her pounds of makeup slipping off more so than it had been outside. "Didn't anyone even consider the other room across from his?"

"Yeah, but we decided it'd be unfair!" Nina squeaked and looked around. "Hey, where's Maddie and Lauren?"

* * *

Maddie and Lauren smiled wide as they tucked their clothing into hand-carved wardrobes that were trimmed with stripes of polished gold. "Did you notice that there's enough room on the pull-out couch for Roxie?" Maddie asked Lauren as she dug her toes into the plush royal carpet feathering her feet. "Can we invite her in and we'll just share the super King sized bed together?"

Lauren beamed at the suggestion as well as at the reminder or just how large the lushly covered bed she'd get to sleep in was. "Sure! That's a great idea! Then we can all have our own sink since our bathroom has _three! _With enough room to probably have five people live combfertably in this room alone, it makes you wonder why he tried to plan it so only one girl could be in here."

Maddie shrugged. "Who knows… hey, did you see how really nice these shades on the windows are?"

* * *

"Who cares if you all made a pact to not go check out that room because it's not fair or whatever?" Krissy snapped. "If none of you are going to claim that room _I am_!" She sprinted back down the hall and left everyone back to their problem.

Stormy looked up from her book and shook her head. "She is so strange," she muttered before going back to writing. No one really knew how to respond to this (considering Stormy was seemingly the epitome of strange) so they ignored her.

"We don't _have_ to stay in these rooms." All eyes went from Stormy to Charlie. "We can stay in one of the other rooms. This place is large enough to have a better time living in one of the six living rooms or studies instead of staying here."

"Who is she?" Ulli wondered aloud, pointing at Charlie. Getting to know all these girls was going to be a hassle.

"_She's a professional_," Rachel murmured in awe. Then she noticed something strange about Ulli. "Are you okay? Your skin's all orange. Is it because of your nerves?"

A growl ripped through Ulli's throat as she dropped her luggage and began to chase Rachel out of the room to who-knows where. Everyone else just dispersed in every which way while silently agreeing to stray way away from the hallway to the left.

* * *

"MADE IT!" Krissy smiled up at a large, white oak door that had Chris' name engraved in a marvelous calligraphy on it. Turning around and reveling in the moment, her smile brightened at a similar door. Too excited to relish the highlight of her day she jerked the door knob down and whipped the door open. Her excitement came to a screeching halt when she came face-to-face with Maddie wearing a rosy silken bathrobe around her outfit. "Like it?" Maddie asked with a devious smirk as Krissy's mind shut down. "It came with the room, which _I_ will be sharing with Lauren and Roxie as soon as I find her. It's pretty awesome, isn't it?"

Krissy, who was in such a state of shock, could only nod. Maddie smiled and slid passed her to go locate Roxie. She decided she liked Krissy so much more… when she didn't do or say anything.

* * *

"This is totally awesome!" Shelly jumped up and down on large bean bag chair she was in and tossed her stuff down. She was in some sort of recreational room complete with a pool table, plenty of large bean bag chairs with blanket to go with each, and a stereo system. The dim lights and dark reds and greens made it seem like a sleepover at a pool hall, which only made the room that much more appealing.

**Shelly: "**_**It even has proper walls and carpet! I'm just a little upset Chris would try to put us in crappy rooms like he did, but at least for now I'm not in one! LOOPHOLES ROCK!"**_

She continued to jump on the chair until one of her feet sunk in too far and she fell forward into her luggage. "Ow."

"Don't hurt yourself, Shell. That's Chris' job," Tawni joked from her own large bean bag chair.

Kristina came into the room and dropped her stuff. "Hey, you guys want another roomie? I just want to settle in and this room looked cool."

Tawni smiled. "No problem. Welcome to the place to be."

"Dōmo arigatō!" Kristina took a bean bag chair as her own and fell back into it with a smile.

**Kristina: **_**"I haven't talked much to anyone since winding up here, but these two seem nice enough. I'm not all that picky at this point. As long as the room has actual walls I'm set."**_

* * *

Dawn stood outside a dark room in a hallway no one else seemed to be in. She slid the door open completely and felt around the wall for a light. When she found it, she flicked it on and waited for her eyes to adjust before turning around. She smiled proudly to find herself in the library complete with more books than a public one and, of course, large plush sofas with pillows and throw blankets galore to read (or sleep) on.

"Oh, it's taken, guys! Someone's already in here!" Dawn looked over at the door to see Nina slumped over in defeat.

Dawn smiled and gestured to the other large couches in all the corners of the room. "I'm not going to need all of them, you know."

Nina's hope was restored and she resorted to jumping up and down wildly. "HEY – CHARLIE, AL! NEVER MIND! THIS GIRL SAID SHE'D SHARE WITH US!"

Dawn pushed her glasses up and tried not to sigh at the emotional girl's antics. Hopefully they were just first day jitters… hopefully…

* * *

"Psst – Roxie!"

Roxie, who was currently wondering aimlessly, looked behind her to see Maddie. "Maddie? Wha – AH!" Maddie grabbed her arm and whisked her back up the stairs. "There's little time left before _she_ awakens from her stupor!" was her only explanation.

* * *

"Dammit! They're going to other rooms!" Chris looked over at Chef and the camera crew in the camera crew's 'special room' as they watched the girls raid the house. "I wanted them to fight for the good one and all the others suffer with the bad ones!"

"Maybe you should've told them they could only sleep in those rooms first," Chef pointed out.

"Hmm, there's an idea that would've been useful five minutes ago."

The dark room was engulfed with light when a door opened. The camera members looked at the person in the doorway with guilt-stained faces.

"Hello everyone," came the polite reply from Lea, who was without luggage. "May I come in?"

Chef was preparing a negative answer but Chris just shrugged. She took that as a firm yes and strode into the cramped room, picking the only free seat left beside Chris. "I noticed a pool house you failed to mention and put all my belongings there. I also noticed this room beside The Confessional Room and wondered what it was. I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

Chris glared at the camera crew, who were all suddenly interested in their cameras and shoes. "Since when did I approve of a pool house being built?"

* * *

"Wow, this is a nice kitchen." Bell nodded in agreement with Serenity's comment. "But it's not like we can stay here or anything."

A maniacal laughter erupted from a cupboard and both the girls jumped in shock. "Um, hello?" Bell asked the cupboard.

A cupboard door beside the tall stainless-steel fridge slowly opened to reveal one of Stormy's hazel eyes. She appeared to have squeezed herself in. "The light in here is excellent."

The two stared as she closed the door and they mutually agreed to never wonder in this room without first implicating a buddy system. "Wait, look out there! Is that a pool house?" Bell pointed out the window.

Serenity smiled. "Heck yes it is! Looks like we found yet another loophole!"

* * *

"Looks like you're not alone now," Chef laughed.

Lea shrugged. "It happens." She noticed Chris smirking at her in the glow of the surveillance television lights and she turned to face him. "What?"

"Nothing," he said a bit too innocently and his eyes roved back over to the remaining room less girls.

* * *

Rachel was panicking. It had been twenty minutes and Orangey was still hot on her trial. Was it her fault she was concerned with her complexion? And what on earth did she do to keep in such great shape?

She heard laughter come from behind a door and she banged on it, forgetting she could have simply turned the knob. "PLEASE OPEN UP BEFORE SOMETHING OTHER THAN NERVES KILLS ME!"

Katroina opened the door and Rachel fell forward but quickly regained her step as she raced to hide behind a couch that Lena was on. A second later Ulli was at the door. "Have you seen that annoying 'Nerves' Girl?"

Katroina was preparing an answer but opted to take care of something bothering her first. "Your skin is orange – do you realize how unhealthy tanning beds are for your skin?"

* * *

Mandy had gone out of her way to not talk to anyone. She was content with sneaking around the completion and going undetected. It had been a part of her master plan after all. She could very easily harm people when they don't notice her. But that was before she walked into the living room…

"_Don't drag me down,_

'_Cause I'll never stay._

_I don't tell you what to say,_

_I don't tell you what to do._

_So just let me be myself,_

_That's all I ask from you!"_ [1]

Her jaw fell open as a muscular girl with black hair and violet eyes picked at strings on her guitar and sang her heart out on top of a table surrounded by a large wrap-around couch. When she saw Mandy walk in, she stopped. Her audience – a girl with short and spiked black hair and eyes of sky blue along with a girl rocking green-streaked brown hair and acid green eyes – turned around to see her for themselves.

"Hey! Do you want to room with us?" the singer asked. "I'm Vikki, by the way. The black haired girl is Sapphire and the girl with green highlights is Jade." They waved when mentioned and didn't looked bothered a bit by the prospect of another roommate.

Not wanting to look like a jerk and have her plan crumple, all Mandy could do was feebly nod and decide that she really hated her life… and that this Vikki girl was a pretty good singer.

* * *

"You have your work cut out for you," Chef informed Chris as all the girls (minus the still stunned Krissy) settled in.

"It looks like it indeed. But they'll see that the house isn't as great as they think it is in only a matter of time…" Chris grinned maliciously and leaned back in his chair. "Oh yeah – tomorrow is looking like a good day already."

Lea stared at a corner of the room and was smiling herself, but for different reasons.

**Lea: **_**"I'd never say this aloud, but I feel as if we're in '**__**The Importance of Being Earnest'**__** which is an excellent play by Oscar Wilde I have read six times to date. I can't help but feel that he is the flirt, Algernon, who believes love to be excitement until he meets his Cecily… Despite his openly shoddy outlook on the competition, I'm starting to hope it'll be me."**_

* * *

"This room looks like the guest room at my dad's house." Roxie said amused as Maddie brought her to the door.

Maddie's smiled broadened. "Really? Hey, can we be friends after the show…?"

The door closed on Krissy, who suddenly realized exactly where she was and what had just happened. Her face hardened and, for a second time that day, she tried to be an adult about the situation. So she did what big girls who get locked out of rooms do: bang on the door with her fists and throw a tantrum outside the room. "You non-style-conforming _bitch_! GET YOUR FRIENDS AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW! HEY – I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"

**

* * *

**

**[1] – 'You Don't Own Me' by Bette Midler is the song Vikki sang a snippet of here. I don't own this in the least, either.**

**Thanks this chapter go to: all readers and reviewers, of course!**

**Special thanks go to: The Feline and One Black Rose for making sure I update every weekend to date. You guys make great supporters !**


	4. Blinded by the Dark

**The Challenges of Love**

**4. Blinded by the Dark**

* * *

**Total Drama Island is most defiantly not mine. The lovely oc's (minus Rachel) are also not mine. Thus reminding me how much I need to work on creativity. And I own no other shows/companies/whatever else I can't remember that is referenced. **

* * *

It turns out that all the girls in the house had one thing in common: they were sleep deprived. By ten o'clock everyone was cozy in their beds (or couches, cabinets, or bean bag chair depending on their location) with the loudest sound being their soft breaths and the occasional tossing and turning. Tranquility was the only word that could capture just how peaceful and serene the scene was. It was almost as if no one had screamed and raced around like maniacs searching high and low for rooms just a few hours prior. The calmness had settled in and single-handedly vanquished the chaos from the house.

It was a perfect night…

… for a challenge.

Chris looked back at the people occupying the Control Room, which the Camera Crew decided to relocate into once they had been found out. "Go for it," he said before whirling his head back and bringing his full attention to the television sets that shot at his eyes through the inky blackness of the room. Faint outlines of a few people nodded at the back of his head to affirm that they received his direction. One of the people in charge of the control panels touched a switch under large, glowing label that read 'Torture Lights Version IIIV' and snapped it back.

Once his finger was off the switch, all the lights on the entire estate went on at a higher intensity than any light bulbs should burn. This was enough to snap most of the girls awake.

"Talk about making a room shine! You ladies would be _great_ homemakers!" Chris's said from the ever dreadful speakers.

"Great, now he's a sexist, too." Tawni snuggled further into her bean bag chair and scowled. "He has a death wish I swear."

"I hope everyone's recharged 'cuz it's time for your _very first challenge_!" That got everyone up and wide awake.

"Ch-challenge? _Now_?" Nina's lip quivered and she brought her beanie down to have something to cry into. "I'm not ready! I didn't even have breakfast yet!"

"SO?" Rachel screamed from the living room. "I HAFTA PEE REAL BAD ALL OF A SUDDEN!"

What a twisted pleasure this was. Why had it taken so much convincing to get him to agree to this show, Chris wondered. It was so much fun! He was stupefied as to how he managed to have been so against it. Oh well, he would be sure to enjoy this all the more. "Now ladies, if you would proceed to the pool area, there's a path that should follow that takes you out to a small-scale stadium intended for recreational use only, not that any of you care. Once you get there go inside and gather in the middle of the track and we'll take it from there."

There was so much animosity toward the cruddy predicament that some of the girl's had taken to their new favorite hobby: glaring at the speakers.

Within minutes, all the women had managed to force themselves up and drag themselves out of their makeshift beds to valiantly fight the bitter cold of the night in nothing but their pajamas. They followed Chris's directions and walked down a marble path that had small pockets of lights outlining it for them. They would have been taken back by the stadium (which didn't seem that small of a scale up close) but their deserted dreams had convinced them to act unimpressed, so they went in and went to the grassy field surrounded by the track as ordered.

"A race car track?"Shelly asked through a yawn. "Are we racing cars?"

"Looks like it." Roxie had answered her, stretching a finger out to four sports cars that shone in the strong artificial light. They were all different colors and had different numbers on the side: car one was red, car two was blue, car three was green, and car four was yellow. Other than that\ they were the same type and they all had a picture of Chris on the side at a forty-five degree angle.

**Vikki: **_**"Is there a reason he has his face on the side of four cars or does he just like to look at himself that much?"**_

"Wicked – everyone's here and awake!" The second time the girls got to see Chris face-to-face (minus Lea who was seeing him a third time) they weren't exactly euphoric. It didn't help that he had a million dollar smile on his face and a spark of amusement in his crinkled eyes that his dark bangs couldn't hide. "Welcome to your first official challenge, ladies: Speeding in the Dark." Everyone felt confused and waited for him to elaborate. "You will be split up into four random teams and be given three items: a glow stick, a picture of where the key to your car is, and directions to where the gas cans are. Your goal is to fill your car with gas, find your key, and get one person to do five laps on the course. The winning team gets to go out with _moi_." He closed his directions with a sly wink to seal the deal.

"Sounds easy enough," Serenity said. "But what's with the glow sticks?"

The spark of evil burst into a blaze. "They're just to help you _see things a little more clearly_. If they don't suit your tastes, there are a few flashlights chilling somewhere." He started to walk to a small, stainless steel shack that had 'Control Room' painted on the side but stopped and turned around at the door. "Now for teams. Team one gets the red car and is going to be made up of Katroina, Jade, Lauren, Kayla –"

"IT'S STORMY!"

"… Sure it is. Nina and Bell."

**Katroina:**_** "I had to help out in a car race when my cousin ran for office in Georgia. It was to help raise money for his campaign and since I'm big on politics he figured I'd do a nice job helping him plan it. I learned from it and hope this will give us an advantage."**_

**Jade: **_**"Do I look like a moron or something? It's not going to be hard to fill a car up with gas and drive it. And looking for the gas and keys can't be rocket science. Either Chris lost his touch or there's a catch I'm missing. Whatever. No matter what the facts are I think we have a legitimate shot at winning… so long as the girl who can't stop crying and the psycho writer don't screw up. I have a feeling they will if anyone does."**_

**Lauren: **_**"How cool! I don't think I'm super car savvy, but this doesn't seem like I have to be. I hope I get to drive!"**_

**Stormy: **_**"I know nothing about cars. I've never written about them, either. Maybe that'd make a good plot twist in another of my side projects. Perhaps the hero of the story could fall in love with a car… what would that be called? Carophilia?"**_

**Nina: **_**"I hope no one expects me to drive. I don't know how! I got to emotional every time I went to get my license and hyperventilated before I ever put the key in the ignition." She starts to cry. "Great – I'm already failing my team and we didn't even start!"**_

**Bell: **_**"I think it sounds easy enough and I don't really have any problems with anyone on my team since I don't really know them well enough to have any. I'm just worried about a catch."**_

The girls in group one all huddled into a mass, catching the pictures and red glow stick Chris tossed them.

"Team two will be sporting the blue car and will have Maddie, Sapphire, Vikki, Shelly, Ulli, and Kristina."

**Maddie: **_**"I call the driving job! I was never good at scavenger hunts, but I know I can drive well and drive fast."**_

**Sapphire: **_**"I can't wait to see what the reason for the glow sticks in the light will be. This seems like it'll be a fun challenge to participate in. I hope I get to see some crashes. Maybe my team will let me drive so I can take out all the other cars… no one can win if they're totaled, right?"**_

**Vikki: **_**"These cars are so shiny… heh, yeah well this doesn't sound too hard. It's not like anyone here has ever done a car race is what I'm thinking. I'm starting to think finding our key and the gas cans will be the hardest part.**_

**Shelly: **_**"I had four older brothers growing up, so I am no stranger to car races. Even though they never liked it, one of my brother's dumb friends was a Nascar fiend and I know all the tricks of the trade. GO ME!"**_

**Ulli: **_**"This man insults my intelligence. This will be too easy. But why did he mention flashlights…?"**_

**Kristina: **_**"I can drive and I can look for stuff. It can't be that bad. This looks like an easy win so-long as no one is secretly a redneck in love with Nascar."**_

"The third team gets the green car and they'll be Tawni, Al, Dawn, Serenity, and Mandy."

**Tawni: **_**"This will be EASY. I feel bad for everyone else who isn't on my team. I could win this thing with my eyes closed."**_

**Al: **_**"I brought my iPod so I could stay awake on the way here, but I ended up listening to it instead of Chris so I pretty much missed all the directions. I think I know what's going on though. And to make it all better: our team has the coolest glow stick by far."**_

**Dawn: **_**"Our team is at a disadvantage considering we only have five people and everyone else has six. And whatever Chris is planning is sure to be a handicap as well no doubt. What I'm hoping is that we can work together and we won't fight over anything like who will drive the car."**_

**Serenity: **_**"Being a tortured high school aid, the students have hidden my car keys more than once, so I'm no stranger to searching for them. And I'm no stranger to speeding, but that's another story."**_

**Mandy: **_**"This is a better challenge than I thought we were going to get. At least I don't have to run around. I just have to have a good eye and hope someone on this team can drive decently."**_

"The final team will rock the yellow and the chicks on this one will be Roxie, Lena, Charlie, Krissy, Lea, and Rachel."

**Roxie: **_**"I usually like to do yoga when I wake up so I feel in shape, but it looks like I'll have to put it off a bit for the sake of the challenge. And this challenge doesn't even seem that challenging. Si sepuede!"**_

**Lena: **_**"I'm not a fan of this challenge. I remember protesting those exact same cars due to their terrible fuel emissions. I'll do what I can, but I refuse to drive one. I'm going to have to have a talk with Chris about his auto-options."**_

**Charlie: **_**"This is defiantly something that will involve team work. We're going to have to put our differences and limited knowledge about each other to the side if we want to win this."**_

**Krissy: **_**"Ef this. I could care less about a car race. That's for low-class rednecks. I pay people to put gas in my car. I can drive pretty fast though… damn, I just realized I didn't get to reapply my makeup… STOP FILMING ME THIS INSTANT!"**_

**Lea: **_**"I saw a few keys when we walked in. I'm hoping one of them matches with our car..."**_

**Rachel: **_**"Gotta pee – gotta pee – gotta pee – I really gotta go here, people!"**_

"You guys can start when I give the go-ahead… which is _now_." Chris opened the door to the Control Room and slammed it shut. The moment he did, all the blazing lights died and darkness flooded the arena. The only lights in the estate was emitted from the glow sticks."

"Dammit – I didn't get to look at the pictures!" Jade growled. "What's this have to do with Chris, anyways?"

**Chris: **_**"I know what you're thinking: what does a car race in the dark have anything to do with me? Well, I'll answer that for you. I want to see how they work under pressure and how well they can 'operate' in the dark." Chris did his signature smirk for the camera. "And of course, I'm hoping to see some off-the-hook wipe-outs, but that's just me. You have to love night vision!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Let's think about this clearly and _not_ panic," Katroina said, mostly to Nina who was crying about how dark it was and sending bolts of annoyance racing up everyone's bloodstreams. "Now, I have the pictures here and if we can just put our heads together I'm sure we can find it and the gas together."

"Good idea!" Bell said. "Now, anyone want to volunteer to drive just so we can get that out of the way while we search?"

"I can," Jade offered.

"Looks like not even the lack of light can hinder us!" Lauren cheered. "Hey Storm, could'ja pass the glow stick over to Katroina so we could see the pictures?"

Stormy had caught the red glow stick and had placed it between the pages of the book she was writing in. At the mentioning of her giving up an opportunity to write, her hazel eyes flashed red and her grip on her pen tightened. "I don't think so."

"_What did you say_?" Jade's hands tightened into fists. There was no way she could be hearing this.

Stormy saw the disheartened and aggravated expressions of her teammates through the small aura of the red glow stick and sighed. "If you want it _that_ bad… I guess I'll trade it for a flashlight."

* * *

"I got a good look at our picture before the lights went out," Kristina said as Shelly scanned the photos with the blue night stick. "It looked like it was in one the risers." It seemed as if the key was, indeed, on one of the chairs surrounding the stadium. It was resting on the armrest of a banged up chair and had a bit of stairs peeking out from the corner of the photo.

"I guess we're going to stick together until we get up to the risers then. You know, since our only source of light is… this." Shelly narrowed her eyes at the useless light source.

Vikki held her hands up. "Wait a sec – what if we had whoever was driving in the car? That way when we find our stuff we'll just have to gas up, ignite, and go."

"SWEET! I'm on it!" Everyone stared wide-eyed as Maddie sky-rocketed in the direction the cars were before the lights went off. They were a bit worried they'd lose her, but if she was that excited to drive maybe she hadn't taken her eyes off of the direction the cars were in to begin with.

"So we're getting the key first?" Sapphire softly asked.

Ulli rolled her eyes. "To answer that would be a waste of life. Let's go to the risers already."

* * *

Serenity held the pictures to the glow stick and everyone leaned in to see what they were looking for. The photograph wasn't helpful in the least. Their key could be anywhere considering it was surrounded by –

"Grass. Grass is the only thing in this freakin' picture, so I'm guessing we're just going to have to look through this middle section." Tawni ran a hand through her russet hair to calm herself down. This would take forever with just a glow stick, but what else could they do?

"It looks like the second group is going inside," Mandy mused aloud. "I'll follow them and see if they can take me to the gas. Once they come out here, I'll just go back to our group."

"That sounds like cheating if you ask me… hey, where are you going?" Al watched as Mandy slipped away after a group with a blue glow stick into a hallway that led to the arena seats. "Great. She left. What now? We're down to _four_ people now."

Dawn pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose using her ring finger, the green glow stick light reflecting off her lens. "What if we found one of the flashlights he was talking about first? Because realistically we probably won't find the key under these circumstances before another team does. And we have to assume Mandy will get us the gas for the car."

Al pulled her hair back and stood up tall, making a fist with her hand. "Yeah – we can do it!... Now, anyone have any idea where we should start our search for these flashlights or what…?"

* * *

"Guys, I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!"

Krissy whacked Rachel with a glow stick and groaned. "I can't believe CC would put me on a team with _you_."

"We _really_ don't have time for this right now, Krissy," Charlie said. "We have to find our car key –"

"Got it."

All eyes were glued to the direction where Lea's voice came from. Krissy stuck the glow stick at her and she was standing with her chin up, back straight, legs together… and a key held loosely between her fingers.

"How'd you find it so quickly?" Roxie wondered aloud, obviously impressed with the speedy retrieval of the key.

"I saw it walking in and wondered why it was there and noticed it matched out picture. So I just went and got it. It was only a few feet away."

"You got it in the dark?" Lena whistled. "That's awesome! Nice sense of direction!"

Seeing how it was worthless at this point in time, Krissy let the picture of the key crumble in her grip and dropped it down. Lena gasped and dove, catching it before it could harm the grass. "What are you _thinking_?" she asked in shock. "That's littering! Do you realize how _bad_ that is for the environment? How would you like it if I dropped this in your room?"

"I wouldn't know – I don't _have_ a room!"

* * *

Things weren't looking up for Team One at this point. They had all done everything they could to convince Stormy to stop writing for two seconds and give up her hold on the only source of light they had, but to no avail. So the team had decided that they'd have to do things the blind way. The other five members resorted to searching everywhere within screaming distance of their team members. Currently they were all looking around the track since the prospect of venturing out into the middle of the field alone where the third team was raiding was too scary to suggest.

There was one member in the grass, which was Lauren. But only by a foot or so. She was kicking the grass and narrowing her eyes at the setting she couldn't see when her foot stepped on something _cold_.

**Lauren: **_**"At first I wondered what the heck ice was doing out of the field. It was still early and I could barely think. It's a good thing I didn't just leave it where it was!"**_

Lauren bent over and felt the 'ice cube' gasping at first at her find than laughing out loud.

"What's so funny?" Jade asked.

"And don't even say our situation!" Nina pleaded.

"No, it's not _that_ – I found a key!"

* * *

It's amazing how happy gas can make people. Car gas, mind you. Positioned in front of Team Two (minus Maddie, who was making car noises and 'warming up' for the race in the dark as she stood outside the car) were four red cans of… "Gas," the girls all said in unison.

"Let's be efficient with our time!" Ulli jabbed an orange finger at Sapphire. "You – go take one of those out to our car. But be careful and make sure no one sees you." She thought about this for a second and rephrased. "Err… I mean make sure no one _notices_ you have it."

Sapphire nodded and walked over to the gas. She took the glow stick over and shined it on a can. She hooked her fingers around the handle and brought it down and noticed something. "H-hey," she said. "There's some… umm… flash lights behind h-here…"

"AWESOME!"Shelly sprinted forward and took a flashlight in her hand. She flicked it on and smiled wide at the beam of light provided. There was a flashlight behind each of the cans of gas. "Awe man, it looks like everyone can get one! We better hurry before they find theirs!"

Ulli rolled her eyes and went forward and took the remaining two flashlights. Shelly prepared to protest, but Ulli interrupted before she could. "I call it survival of the fittest. Sapphire, here you go. _Do not turn it on until you reach the car_, understand?"

Sapphire took soft sprints back out the way they came, being led by the glow stick as a cover up while her other teammates marched up the stairs to where the seats were.

Mandy, who was hiding behind the table and clutching the last flashlight, let out a breath she was holding. She considered hiding the other cans of gas or making sure to 'cover her trail' like Sapphire, but she didn't think her team had the time for that. She flicked the flashlight on, grabbed a can, and bolted out the same way Sapphire left.

* * *

"Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm berm berm beeeeeeeeeeeeeerm spiiiish _eeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_!"

The left eye of Serenity twitched as her team members brought their key to their car, deciding to wait for Mandy there. They had found their key not in the grass as their picture had shown but rather in the middle of the track. They thought it was strange but went with it for time reasons.

"BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEP squeeel eeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerm berm berm beeeeerm beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerm."

"WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?" Serenity snapped.

If she could see, Serenity would be staring down an innocent looking Maddie in a short pink nightgown frowning. "I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for success."

"How is she _not_ tired?" Al wondered while she turned her music up a notch higher to stay awake.

Her team members shrugged and sighed together.

"I'm starting to think we should just try to take another car and look for another team's key," Tawni muttered. "I don't think Mandy'll ever- HOLY CRAP!" A beam of light winked at them for a second then was aimed at the ground before them. Everyone in the arena stopped what they were doing and thought the same thing: _light_!

"What the hell!" Team Three heard Krissy shout.

"Is that Mandy?" Al asked, pausing her song to hear an answer to her question.

"CAN WE BORROW THAT QUICK?" Bell asked.

All excitement was ripped from the air as the girl came closer and was revealed to be Sapphire… as in not Mandy… as in someone from Team Two rather than Team Three… meaning that Team Two had more light than all the other group's crappy night sticks combined. Oh, she even had gas. _Great for them._

"We shouldn't have let Mandy go all ninja like that," Al muttered before turning her music back on and zoning out while Sapphire handed the light and gas over to Maddie. What else could they do?

Another light flicked out through the same direction that Sapphire came from. Dawn's eyes widened from behind her glasses and she dared to smile. "It's her! It's Mandy!"

Frowns lifted into smiles as Mandy came running into the scene with a flashlight and can of gas. Dramatic music played as she raced over to her team… "Hey Al, could you turn your iPod off for a sec? Mandy's here?"

Al looked up and laughed. "Oh, sorry!"

Maddie and Sapphire rushed around as Mandy shoved the can of gas into Tawni's arms. While she tried to get her breath back and her heart rate down Tawni filled the car. Maddie and Sapphire got done before they had a chance to and hive-fived, but Team Three had something they didn't have: car keys.

"Awe, damn…" Maddie groaned as Tawni took a key from the pocket of her black sweat pants. Smiles only broadened as she put it to the lock and then… nothing happened… smiles faltered… someone coughed…

"Well?" Mandy huffed, still out of breath.

Serenity grabbed the flash light and aimed it at the keys Tawni was glaring at. "Is there a problem?"

"Hell yeah there is! This key doesn't fit!" She could feel the blank looks she was getting and she growled, "We got the wrong key for our car. We have another team's cay key." She groaned as they chorused, "Oh!" _Idiots_.

* * *

"_Where is she taking us_?"

Roxie looked over at the direction Krissy's voice came from as she took careful steps up the stairs with her hands tightly gripped onto the rail. Walking up cement stairs in the dark wasn't something to take lightly. Which made her get a good idea…

**Roxie: **_**"I got many ideas from Chris to use on my dancing students to help keep them in shape and they all work well. This – going up the stairs in pitch black – might help teach them coordination and planning ahead. It's great that I can experience these things first hand instead of just watching a replay of it. Now my students can't hold that against me anymore…"**_

"_Roxie_!" The Mexican Beauty was yanked out of her planning by an annoyed Krissy. "Didn't you hear my question?"

Roxie rolled her eyes, thanking the cover the darkness gave her. For some strange reason Krissy would _only_ talk to Roxie. She was skeptical that she may want to befriend her and use her to get back at Maddie and Lauren for stealing her room, but she didn't think Krissy would be smart enough to think that up on her own (it was pretty advanced stuff as far as evil went after all). So she just shrugged it off. "Yes, I heard you. And Lea already said that she was following the direction that the other two teams with flashlights came from."

"This is kind of exciting, too!" Lena said. She was skipping ahead of the team and lighting the way with the glow stick. She seemed to be the only one comfortable enough with the dark stair climb to not have to stay near a railing or wall. In fact, she was moving up them quite fast.

Charlie laughed and decided that her team wasn't so bad. Even if they didn't win, she at least got an opportunity to talk to some other people. Some _great_ people.

"LEA IF WE LOSE BECAUSE YOU DRAGGED US HERE FOR NO REASON I WILL KILL YOU!"

… Okay, emphasis on the _some_.

"Isn't that nice," Lea said flatly.

"Flat ground reached!" Lena waved the yellow glow stick around. "Hey guys, we've reached the first floor, alirght? I'm just going to go look around quick."

"You go ahead!" Roxie shouted up. Then she paused. "Wait, everyone freeze!" Everybody listened, their eyes darting nervously around them. "We're missing someone…"

"Who?" Krissy asked, blinking around her. "It looks like everyone's here!... I mean it sounds like everyone's here. C'mon, you bitches, I know you're giving me looks for what I said – _you know what I meant_!"

"No, she's right," Charlie shook her head.

"I was wondering why it was so quiet back there," Lea added.

"I found gas up here, guys!" Lena interjected excitedly.

"Then get it! Gawd… now, who?" Krissy repeated. "_Who_ is missing?"

"Well," Roxie said, "think about it for a second…"

* * *

Rachel never did make it to the mansion before her bladder exploded on the marble path. It was a shame, because she was exactly forty footsteps away from a restroom, too. And of course, she had a good excuse for her bladder control issues…

**Rachel: **_**"I hate NERVES!"**_

* * *

Bell shook her head in defeat at the sight of two teams that was waiting by their cars with empty gas cans. "From the looks of things at this point, our team –"

"Sucks?" Lauren suggested.

Bell considered this and nodded. "Yeah, we suck."

Katroina jumped in front of her dejected team mates with a spark of determination in her burning blue eyes. "No! We will not be defeated so easily!"

"But we don't even have any light!" Nina (what else?) cried. "Stormy's being mean and won't share it. Because of that we're going to lose! We should just give up!"

"How 'bout you _shut_ up?" Jade gave the crying girl the best glare she could muster in the dark. "Annoying as hell, I swear…"

"We don't need Stormy's light, Nina," Bell cooed. "We can find gas all on our own without getting light!"

"How? You got an idea?" Katroina asked, hope stressed in her tone.

Bell shook her head. "At least the hope calmed Nina down though."

Lauren started laughing and Katroina looked over in the direction of her voice. "What's so funny? We're going to _lose_ and you're laughing. Again."

"That's because I have an IDEA!"

* * *

"Hey Lauren!" Maddie greeted brightly as Team One (except for Stormy) approached their car with fire in their eyes. The only reason they noticed the strength in their stony determined faces was because Sapphire had proceeded to spin the flashlight at them and confirm their identities.

**Tawni: **_**"If they even have their key and gas, I'm hijacking their car. I seriously just want to win and go back to bed. We have a gased up car with a messed-up key. I DESERVE sleep."**_

Everyone calmed down when they noticed that there was no sign of gas nearby. The relief morphed into a mixture of emotions as the girls got behind the car. "Ready?" Jade yelled out. "PUSH!" And push they did. Too bad none of them had very much muscle. The car went a good decent inch before Nina collapsed.

"I was thinking we'd get farther than that…" Lauren shrugged. "Oops?"

"Now we'll _never_ win!" Nina's crying resumed and everyone's faces fell.

**Jade: **_**"Does she ever do anything else but cry? I'd rather be on a team with Orangey, Krissy, and the annoying girl who had to piss than her!"**_

"GOOD JOB, SHELLY!" Maddie and Sapphire looked up to see the flashlights in the seats up high waving around and Ulli sprinting – and then falling – down the stairs between the rows. Sapphire smiled wide to herself at the sound of Ulli's shriek that followed. "WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE, GUYS?" Maddie yelled up.

"WE GOT THE KEY!" Shelly yelled back.

"SWEET!" Maddie said.

"Awe damn. Looks like they won…" Jade looked ticked off and crossed her arms. Then her eyes widened as a yellow glow stick and the sound of sloshing gas came into the scene. Roxie and Charlie rushed to put gas in the car and Lea handed Lena the key.

"I can't drive this! It's bad for the environment!" Roxie took the key from Lea instead and wasted no time opening the car and slamming it shut. She turned it on and sighed. The lights on the car – all of the lights – were, of course, off. She tried to ignore this and hope that no one was on the track as she pressed the ball of her foot into the gas pedal lightly and tried to stay as close to the side (which she couldn't see) as possible.

"WAAAH _THEY'RE_ GOING TO WIN!" Nina dropped to the ground and cried. Everyone was trying to block the sound out with the exception of Al, who was dancing to her iPod… _lucky_.

* * *

"You know what I just realized?"

Sapphire didn't want to stop watching the death glares Team Four was receiving, but she looked up anyway. "What, Maddie?"

"We've been out here for hours but it's not light out yet…"

"Huh, yeah, that is pretty weird."

**Chris: **_**"To ensure that there could be no loopholes this time, I got the camera crew to create a wicked little button into the Control Room. I poke it and a thick cover comes out over the entire arena. No one's getting out of here until someone gets hurt." A camera man asks Chris is he means to say that no one is leaving until someone wins. Chris blinks. "Yeah, sure, whatever man."**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Hello?" Rachel's knuckles brushed against the cover. "_Hello_?" Her fists hit the metal cover. "I'M RELIEVED ENOUGH TO REJOIN THE COMPETITION!"

* * *

"Maddie – catch!"

Vikki brought her arm back and swung it forward as fast as she could, releasing the keys so that it could speed over to the bleached blond. Maddie leapt up and caught them. She cheered to herself as she opened the door and took off in the direction Roxie drove, only going a bit faster. Sapphire looked down at the flashlight and wondered if she should have passed it to her, but decided it wouldn't do much good at this point.

"What's this?" Ulli asked with her hand waving at the now empty spot that the yellow car was held. "WHERE ARE THEY?"

"They left," Mandy said. "And we'd be off, too, if our key worked."

"We'd be off if we had gas…" Katroina said just as sadly.

"Wait, where exactly did you find your key?" Mandy asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

Lauren perked up at this and smiled wide. "It was in the grass!"

* * *

"You can do this," Roxie chanted to herself as she attempted to go faster after hearing seeing the flashlights form Maddie's team wave around the starting line. "If you can ride in a car with your brother you can _do this_."

A second after she started to feel more comfortable with the situation, a car banged into the back of hers. "GO FAST OR GET OUTTA MY WAY, ROXIE!" Maddie said over the low rumbling of the engines. She sounded a bit threatening.

"Great," Roxie muttered. She wondered why she was even doing all this juvenile crap. Why did she waste her time? She could just pull over and let Maddie go and no one would be able to say she gave up…

Chris. The winner got a date with Chris.

Roxie pushed harder on the gas pedal and steered a bit away from the side.

She needed to have a date with Chris. She needed to see what it was that made her feel the need to come here on this show.

She pushed down harder and felt her head press into the headrest.

She needs to see what it is about this sadistic bastard that she liked so much over the television and if he still had it in person. She needs this _date_.

Her foot collapsed on the pedal and she swerved off, relying solely on instinct to guide her and making sure to steer herself back onto the course when she felt too close to the edge. She heard another engine roar into action and realized that another team was entering the competition, too. Not that it mattered.

**Maddie: **_**"I started to go faster, but I wasn't about to go as fast as she was! I guess I could always get Chris to notice me without winning this time 'round. The upside? I got to drive this sexy car. Oh yeah."**_

Tawni was driving for her team, though she only made it about a foot before she heard the speakers kick on. "Looks like we have ourselves a winner. Team Four: the ladies racing in yellow!"

**Ulli: **_**"What's with all the speakers…?"**_

"Awe man…" Tawni put the brakes on the car and stepped out. "Well do we at least get light now?"

As if it were magic, the covers folded back in and a shining sun smiled down with a violent bright beam on the girls. The sudden transition had most of them in shambles and their appearances weren't up to par. After being awoken randomly and sent running around, it's hard to maintain your good looks.

"C'mon, ladies," Chris said as he stepped out of the Control Room and started to make his way for the exit. "You're wasting _your_ date time."

The victory had made the girls ecstatic, but this little bit of news did not. "What? We're going on the date right now? Looking like this?" Krissy sniffed and did her best to hold her tears in so no one could compare her to Rachel. "But, CC, I look like _shit_."

"That you do, KK, that you do."

Krissy stopped functioning again. "What? Did you just call me… KK?"

"Sure did." She blushed. "If you get to butcher my name, I figure it's only fair I butcher yours, too."

**Maddie: **_**"Whew – I was worried for a second. If he did it to be nice I think I would have died. Nope, strike that – I would have."**_

* * *

**Thanks go out to: everyone who reviewed. You all get Chris plushies. Enjoy.**

**Special thanks this time 'round go to: ****The Feline**** (I already had bold, so I underlined) 1000GreenSun (best Challenge Beta eva XD), lazyASshika for winning the theme song challenge without trying and listening to good music (lol), Blond with a Brain (for keeping me informed), and CourtneyxDuncan (you know why *winks*)**


	5. MultiDating

**The Challenges of Love**

**5. Multi-Dating**

* * *

**FINALLY… Chris and Harem time, kids. Hope you didn't wait **_**too**_** long… No challenge this time round, only an elimination, a date, suggestive themes, fights, torturing, swearing – you know, the usual stuff.**

**I don't own Total Drama Island/Action, the wonderfully wonderful oc's (minus Rachel). The same goes for any products or shows mentioned. Also, I do not own 'Under Pressure' by David Bowie (the song Shelly sings).**

* * *

The prize: a paid-for date with one of the most hottest and eligible bachelors in Hollywood, Chris Maclean. Where: a popular five-star restaurant for breakfast, but of course. Means of Transportation: a limo that could only belong to someone of the elite. Daters: Roxie, Charlie, Lea, Krissy, Rachel, and Lena. The Daters Attire: their pajamas…

"I hope he chokes on his eggs for not even letting me put makeup on or take a shower," Krissy grumbled. "This is the worst date I've ever been on!"

"You haven't been on it yet," Lena told her. "And he better not order eggs!"

Charlie looked down at her own white night gown and resisted a soft sigh. Her feet and hands had been marked with dirt from the mission and she could only picture how disheveled her hair looked.

**Charlie: **_**"I guess this is a good thing since this will help me determine whether Chris is big on looks in a relationship or not. It's very important to me that he'll care more about my personality and me than my looks, because they don't make a relationship and they don't last forever."**_

"Bee-Tee-Douba-Yew, _Rachel_," Krissy spoke up, her dark eyes brewing up storms of hate targeted at the energetic girl. "I'm getting my people to, like, take care of you for ditching us and getting to go pee and change you _bitch_."

Rachel had, in fact, changed _and_ bathed _and_ brushed her teeth. She gave up on tying to infiltrate the arena and took care of her morning business. By the time she got back, everyone on her team was being treated to a limo ride. Of course, it'd only make sense if she tagged along to, right?... Even thoughno one else _thought_ she should. Still, she was more helpful than Stormy had been to her team from what they heard before they left.

The limo came to a smooth halt and the door was promptly opened. An elder man waved his arm out and pointed to the front door of a lavish hotel. "Mr. Chris Maclean is awaiting your company at his reserved table. Please allow me to escort you in…"

* * *

Katroina was blowing off steam the only way she knew how; once she had gotten her shower and got dressed, she resorted to watching lacrosse. If she couldn't beat people (coughstormycough) up until they could only twitch and bleed because she's too nice for that, than she was going to watch other people get the job done for her.

"I prefer to watch violent cartoons." Katroina's eyes darted over to see Vikki collapse into the spot on the couch beside her. "Seeing Okamoto whip his sword around is usually enough to satisfy my bad moods… y'know, from Samurai Seven…? No? Oh well, this'll work too I guess."

"Death Note is helpful when I'm in a bad mood." Katroina looked to her other side to see Serenity sit beside her. "I was mad when L died, though."

"Wo ist meinen Pulli?" Kristina shouted to the girls in the living room.

"Come again…?"

"Oh, sorry - where's my sweater?"

"Es tut mir leid. Ich weiss nicht!" Ulli answered as she stomped to the pool area carrying a tanning lotion and complaining about how much she missed her tanning salons. Poor, poor orange girl.

"_And love dares you to care for – the people on the edge of the night –"_

Vikki looked over the sofa. "I guess Shelly's in the shower now... only she'd sing a David Bowie song that loud…"

"_And love dares you to change our way of, caring about ourselves! This is our last dance, this is our last dance - this is ourselves - under pressure!"_

"I have to teach her how to hit those high notes…" Vikki told Katroina, who just nodded curtly. By the time things settled down a bit, her game was on a commercial. Seriously – what's a girl got to do to get see action around here?

* * *

This five-star restaurant was filled with the best of the best in belittling people. All the guests were guaranteed to give all the girl's scans with their eyes half lidded and their lips twisted in abhorrence. They would undoubtedly take pleasure in not only judging the girl's based off their fresh-from-bed-and-mission look, but in talking about it in rather loud voices.

_Would the girls care_ is the question now.

Chris had hoped they would. His own eyelids were drawn down a bit and his own mouth was widened in an expecting smile – well, smirk. If there was a way to make a girl squirm, it was to go for her looks. He firmly believed that all girls cared how they looked – no if's, and's, or but's about it, _they did_. Just like he cared how he looked. Based off of how great all these girls looked when he first met them, he was expecting it to be thanks to the makeup and their decent rest. If anything could make them look bad and feel bad to be here, it was to be here after last night's mission.

He saw Krissy first. Her eyes burst open and her face flushed in embarrassment at her appearance. She was probably a socialite, since she knew exactly what everyone else in the room thought of her based off of a glance at their faces. The confidence she had the first few days simmered with each quick step she took to the table. If she had gotten ready, she would probably own the room, but not now. Now, instead of sitting beside Chris like she was most likely planning, she let a chair separate them at the circle table.

"You all right there, KK?" Chris asked, biting his victorious laughter back. It was giving him chills to see this powerful girl in pieces. She honestly didn't look _that_ bad. Sure. Her once wavy, silky hair looked like it was attacked by static and tight pink tank top clashed with her green underwear (which were a bikini cut, so she was lucky there). She wasn't even that hard to look at without make-up.

She didn't move and kept her head down. His smirk broadened. One down, five to go.

Rachel was the next to step in. She looked unbothered by everyone and likewise no one seemed bothered by her. After all, she was in typical Rachel wear – a blue shirt and black pants. Not worth a word of gossip really. She took a seat at the table between Krissy and Chris and looked pleased. She looked over at Chris and froze.

**Rachel: **_**"… Oh my freaking God… he's SO MUCH HOTTER THIS CLOSE! His chin – sexy. His cheeks – sexy. His shadow – sexy. His hair – sexy. His forehead – sexy. Oh no, it's usually around this time when the nerves strike…"**_

"I got to, ah, use a, ah, restroom. Save my seat!" And as quick as she came, she skyrocketed right into – and out of – the male restroom before zipping to her the ladies' room.

Well, that required no effort at all. Two for two with three to go.

He looked up in time to see Lea walk in. She looked a bit spaced out and was staring at the air in front of her lazily. He wouldn't be too surprised if she forgot other people were there. Her hair looked untouched by grime and effort and shined from the roots of her dark-ash hair to her chin. So far, her outfit was his favorite: a lacy turquoise lingerie underneath a silk, white robe that brushed against her upper thighs as she walked. He cast a glance to see the looks other restaurant diners were looking at her, and they looked excited about more gossip but otherwise unbothered.

"Good morning, Chris," Lea greeted as she took Rachel's empty seat. "Was Rachel sitting here?"

"Nope," he lied. She must read minds, because she got up and moved over to the other seat beside him.

"How was your morning?" Chris prodded. "Feeling disgusted being without a shower or embarrassed being here in _that_ yet?"

She wasn't looking at him, but rather at some place across the room. "Not any more so than I normally feel around people."

**Chris: **_**His head was tilted to the side and his shoulders went up and flopped down. "Eh, I'll come back to her."**_

Two for three. Not _too_ bad.

Roxie was the next girl to be let in. Some of the layers in her hair flipped in different directions, but other than that she was fine there. Her face was firm in an indifferent expression. She was not hard to look at in her exceptionally thin black shirt that did a poor job of covering her lacy pink bra and panties. Her toned legs and arms shined in the expensive lighting and she paused at the table.

She looked at Lea for an honest answer. "Is Rachel sitting here?" Lea curtly nodded, not tearing her gaze away from wherever it was she was staring. Roxie made a move to go beside her and Chris held a hand up. "Whoa, there!"

She stopped and turned to him. "Hmm?"

He stared at her eyes a bit longer than he would've liked, but quickly regained his track of thought. "I would much rather have _you_ beside me."

Roxie blinked. Lea's eyes flicked over to her for a brief second. Krissy gurgled something no one really understood.

"I… appreciate being asked, but I couldn't do that."

"Even though she _ditched you guys on the challenge_?"

Ah, of course: he's hoping to start some drama. He has no interest in actually being close to her. For some reason, this really bothered her, but she knew enough to know not to show it. She walked over to Lea's right and sat down. "It's nothing she could help, right? By the way, where'd she go?" A word resembling 'bathroom' came from somewhere under Krissy's hair barrier.

Chris wasn't too happy now. His smirk was completely gone at this point. Two outta four – not a good score in his book. He heard a seat being drawn beside him and snapped his head over to see brunette with a white shirt that read 'Save the Whales' in bold letters and decent shorts for public eyes pulling Rachel's chair out.

"Rachel's there, Lena," Roxie said.

Lena sighed but thanked her anyways before going to sit beside her. "Hi, Chris!" she said once she sat down.

"Yeah… hi…" He was _miserable_. He missed her walk in – thus missed the possibly wonderfully scrutinizing glares she received! How did he go from a success like making that one chick depressed to such a failure as having this girl giving him a blinding, sun-shiny smile? It was absolutely _horrific_ and flat-out inconceivable. He wondered for a brief second if it would be too much to ask the waiter to spike everything he consumed here with the strongest alcohol they had in the largest quantities they could.

He set his eyes on the door, putting all his hope to brighten his mood into the last girl, Charlie, to walk in. He hoped she looked horrible and was extremely emotional and she cried as soon as she walked in and complained about her miserable life. _He wanted to see some suffering, dammit_.

Well, someone suffered when she stepped in – him. Dammit indeed.

Her long blond hair was draped over her left shoulder and her pink highlights seemed more prominent than ever against her slightly tanned skin. She wore a simple white nightgown that ran out of material halfway passed her knee. She came to the table with poise and a faint smile playing on her lips. She noticed the empty chair by Chris and assumed it was Rachel's since no one else took it, so she was stuck sitting by Krissy.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he said. Chris was defeated. Three losses to two wins.

**Chris: **_**"So I was hoping that if I ticked off all of them enough without seeming like I was trying too hard, they'd eliminate themselves. It was a far out-there idea, but whatever. Didn't work anyway. I guess I mine as well just try to work them over and have some fun and try to forget the fact they're unaffected. I'll just redeem myself next challenge."**_

"Tell me, ladies, how was the –"

"I can't take this!" Krissy flipped her head up and her hair flew behind her and splayed across her back. She wasn't crying and didn't look sad or embarrassed anymore. No, she looked… ah, how to put it…

**Krissy: **_**"I'm PISSED."**_

"Take what?" Chris taunted.

"I'm sitting here upset and you ignore me."

"I asked you what was wrong."

"I know but – gawd, you're supposed to comfort me and make me feel better!"

He laughed. "I don't think so, sweetheart. You may have signed up to be _my_ girlfriend, but I didn't sign up to be _your_ boyfriend. If you want to be comforted, go call your mom or something."

Krissy's eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms and 'hmph!'ed. "Jerk!"

He shrugged and a pretty red-head waitress came over. "Hello, Mr. Maclean. May I present you with your menus?"

"Yes, you may!" Chris said before he winked at her. "Just give us a few minutes and when you come over we should even have our order ready!"

She handed everyone a folder with a thick red blush on her cheeks before she sprinted over to another waitress and giggled about something.

"Did you just _wink_ at her?" Charlie asked, in utter shock.

"Why yes, yes I did." Chris' smirk was back in place. "Don't tell me that _bothers_ you."

**Charlie: **_**"Of course it does! He is at a table with five beautiful girls all here to meet him and make a connection with him and he winks at our waitress! That vulgar… ugh."**_

Charlie kept eye contact with him, though it was strained. "Listen Chris, a relationship is based on The Three C's: Communication, Commitment, and Compatibility. We're –" she gestured to herself and the girls, "- are here to see if we can successfully communicate with you and if we're compatible by doing so. Commitment may be an understandable problem since we're competing _for you _but leading girls on outside of the house is uncalled for."

She said this calmly, as if she was assessing her own life just as she would the life of someone who wrote in to her with their problems. Still, she felt a sting when she realized this was a bit more personal. What made it worse? He didn't look like he really cared either way.

"Hmm, that so? Sounds technical, like a system. I prefer disorder – chaos, if you will, over rules and guidelines like that."

"They aren't _rules and guidelines_. They're just strategies and starting and maintaining a good relationship."

"Strategies, huh?" She nodded proudly. "Suuuure they are."

"What's wrong with her strategies?" Lea wondered aloud. "They don't seem that bad to me."

"Think about it: you go into a relationship with these strategies in the back of your mind, you're bound to spend more time trying to get them to work then enjoying that person, right?"

"What do you know?" Krissy bit, surprising everyone since she was sticking up for someone who wasn't her. "I've heard the longest relationship you've been in was two days."

"It was six days," Chris corrected as he opened his menu. "And it ended about two weeks before _this_ started."

He looked bitter, so no one said anything else for a while. The waitress came over and got their orders and Chris decided they'd need more time to look at food items and opted to get Rachel, who was still missing, orange juice. He didn't even try to wink or flirt, much to the excited worker's dismay. She walked away pouting.

"Chris," Lena said with soft eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Chris considered her request, but smiled and shook his head. "Nah, course not!" He gave the empty seat beside him a disappointed look and made eye contact with Roxie. "I would feel better if you'd sit by me – I have a feeling she won't be back for a while."

**Lena: **_**"I just asked him how he feels and he asks her to sit by him? Did I miss something…?"**_

**Charlie: **_**"It's okay… I'm seeing who he really is… or am I? I mean, he looked upset when his ex came up, so maybe there's more to him than he wants to let on."**_

Roxie eyed the seat and slowly stood and went over to the seat. She sat down carefully, keeping her sapphire stare on Chris. "The moment she gets back, I'm moving."

"Fine by me." He agreed, darting his eyes at her tone legs briefly before bringing back to his menu. Roxie caught this and smiled to herself, but kept her attention on the menu.

* * *

The sun was baking the Maclean Mansion at ninety degrees Fahrenheit and providing everyone outside a warm and sunny setting. Some girls were splashing around in or around the massive marble pool and Ulli was trying desperately to get orange – err, tan.

Stormy didn't like hot weather or bright, blinding sunlight. Thus she was coped up in Green House beside Lena, Katroina, and Rachel's room. She had enough light to right in the treasured book on her lap with her lucky pen in hand and her iPod blaring.

"Hey." Stormy looked up to see Shelly standing over her. "You look lonely – do you want to come hang out with Tawni and me?"

"No." Stormy went back to her book.

"Why? Don't you ever get sick of writing? You do it _all the time_. Take a break – you might get inspired or something."

"Why are you bothering me? Didn't I ruin your friend's chance at a date with Chris?"

"You ruined your chance at a date with Chris, too."

Stormy smiled despite herself, but didn't answer and went back to writing. Shelly shrugged and went over back outside to the pool, where Tawni was. "Well?" she asked. "What did psycho-writer say?"

"No. She just wanted to write."

"Figures. She's a weird one."

"You don't even know the half of it!" Jade said from the pool. "She wanted to use a glow stick as light! How weird is _that_? Especially when we have a challenge!"

Tawni arched a brow up. "I thought you didn't like Chris?"

"I don't." Jade admitted unabashed. "It still pissed me off though."

* * *

Rachel was still gone by the time the waitress returned for their orders, and she wanted the missing girl's order first. "Don't look at me!" Chris said when she eyed him up – whether for more attention or because she really cared about Rachel's order no one knew. "They know her better than I do."

"She'll have a bowl of fruit, which is also what I'll have!" Lena said brightly, handing her menu over. Chris gave her an appreciative nod. "Right on, girlie."

"I'll take those strawberry pancakes." Lea decided, doing the same.

"Salad." Krissy said.

"But miss, we serve salad for lunch and we don't serve lunch until –"

"Shut up and get me a salad."

"Bu-"

"Don't cross me – I'm not in the mood. At all."

"She's always like that," Charlie assured the waitress. "I'll have the special omelet that everyone at the other table behind us seems to like so much."

"Same," Roxie said, handing her menu over.

"Hmm, I'll settle for the Breakfast Special –"

"Wait, Chris, that has meat in it," Lena pointed out. "Large quantities of meat."

He tilted his head. "This is… a bad thing… because…?"

"He'll have the bowl of fruit, too!" Lena decided for him, yanking the menu from his unsuspecting fingers and giving it to the waitress.

"HEY! You can't do that! I didn't want the fruit cup!"

"I know! That's why I got you the fruit _bowl_." Lena gave the waitress a smile. "We're good to go, then!"

"B-but wha-" Chris was losing his words as the waitress sprinted off. Did he just let a chick order for him? And he didn't get what he wanted? What the hell just happened?

"It's okay, you'll like it," Lena promised. "Now, tell us a bit about yourself."

"Huh? About me? Like what do you wanna know?"

"Everything!" she giggled.

"No, don't." Krissy leaned forward. "I don't like to talk on dates."

"Is that so?" she nodded. "Well then, humor me. What is it you do on dates?"

She licked her lip. "I can _show you_."

**Charlie: **_**"It's not a good idea to go into a relationship being physical. Even more so since this is the first time they got to sit down and talk and she just hated him – what – two seconds ago?"**_

**Roxie: **_**"I don't know if sitting by him was in my best interest anymore..."**_

**Lena: **_**"I never really thought about Chris kissing other girls, but I guess it's inevitable now. I don't want to see it, though. I'm afraid I'll be too upset to enjoy the rest of my date. But who am I kidding… I'm sure he's not going to refuse or anything…"**_

**Lea: **_**"… I wonder what Rachel's up to."**_

Chris' expression didn't change. "Not interested."

Shock. Pure shock. Did he just turn down Krissy for a possible make-out session? Was he a guy with morals after all?

"… Maybe after you put makeup on."

Nope, no morals.

Krissy, at a loss for a decent combat on account of she didn't think she'd need one, crossed her arms and glared at him.

Charlie was disappointed. Was this the guy she was so excited to meet? Really? How could she find his sadism cute and charming when now she felt miserable because of it? She felt like she was expecting too much and making excuses for him. She had to talk to him one on one to see it for herself – that's her only option. If he didn't make an impression, she'd have to call it quits – no use trying to make something work that has no hope from the start.

"So let me go around and ask some very important questions, alright?" The girls nodded. "Great." He turned all his attention to Roxie. "How long have you modeled?"

She shook her head. "Never modeled."

"Oh?"

"Really. I'm a dance instructor by day, bartender by night."

"Ah, alright, alright… guess that explains the legs then."

"There's more to me than my legs," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

He feigned surprise and leaned back. "Whoa – really? Well, in any case, I took some bartending classes in college, so I'm thinking I'm going to have to test your skills one of these days." He moved over to look at Krissy. "KK, what is it you do?"

"I help plan parties lik-"

"Fascinating. Moving on." Krissy muttered through obscenities and grinded her teeth together. "Charlie. Dear, darling, sexy, Charlie." She frowned at him. "Did you know you have a boy's name?"

"It's not a boy's name."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Well it's popular among the male gender."

"True, but I like it." She didn't look like she wanted to talk to him very much. The realization made his head pound, but he smirked to himself and decided he'd change that _later_. "Lena, you're a vegetarian."

"No, I'm a vegan."

"Big difference."

"There is! Vegetarians consume dairy products and some eat seafood. By being vegan I don't eat any products that come from animals."

"So does that mean you do that – mess with people's orders – all the time?"

"Not all the time, but with you I plan on it." She confirmed.

"Flippin' amazing. I can't wait," he muttered.

**Lena: **_**"He'll love the environment by the end of this. And me, but that's a given."**_

"Now, _you_." Chris locked eyes with Lea, who finally decided to look at him. "You've been quiet."

"I'm always quiet, Chris."

"Yeah, I know, but still it's weird. I know more about Rachel than you."

She didn't say anything for a moment. Then she made a comment. "You're good with people's names."

He blinked. "Uh, yeah, I guess so."

"I find that appealing." She went back to looking at whatever it was she was looking at before. "Usually people have trouble with names, but you don't. Not only are you good with names, but you're good at matching names with faces and personalities. Do you like to memorize things?"

"Over-analyzing much?" Krissy said.

"No, it's a good point," Charlie said, defending Lea.

They all looked at Chris. "It's not like I memorize random crap for fun, I just do."

"What were your grades in school like anyway?" Lena wondered. "You must've been a genius."

"I'm not going to answer that," he huffed. "This is a date. Who talks about grades and school – which I spent the better part of my life trying to get the hell out of – on dates?"

"Umm… me?" Lena said, pointing to herself.

Chris gave her a stony glare, which she smiled at. "You're all problematic, you know that? I really hope the other girls are normal." This comment got everyone laughing. He obviously didn't sit and watch them in the control room like they thought, because he obviously didn't even know the half of it…

* * *

"Amazing! This is better than what I pay for usually."

Al was examining her hair in the large mirror. Her hair, which was black underneath and had pink on top, was redone. Her roots started to show where her hair was pink by Maddie, who turned out to be a hair stylist and to have loads of her equipment with her (ranging from styling tools to every dye color under the sun).

"That is pretty!" Lauren agreed, touching Al's loft hair.

"Yeah – I'm pretty awesome." Her stomach gurgled. "Ah, I'm so hungry! Stupid Chef. Why didn't he make us breakfast again…?"

"While he was putting stuff away he found Stormy writing in one of the cabinets." Al answered.

Maddie looked at her stomach and gave it a soft pat. "Well, when's lunch?"

"Dunno –"

"LUNCH!"

The girls smiled at each other and sprinted down to the kitchen. They were a little perturbed by the fact they needed trays and had to wait for him to give them what he wanted (it was like high school all over again) but where hungry enough to get over it. Lauren was first in line and hopeful the meals would be better here than on TDI or TDA.

A large pile of what looked like soggy cookies slapped the plate on her tray. She eyed it cautiously. "Looks great," she commented sarcastically. "What is it?"

"It's pancakes! You got a problem with it?" Chef leered at her with one eye widening and his grip on the spatula tightening.

"No… course not… looks great…" Lauren grumbled. She took it to a table and poked it. The lump of 'pancakes' on china looked very out of place in the lavishly decorated kitchen.

**Lauren: **_**"I wish I could cook. Back home I'm a waitress and know a few tricks to cooking. Though my expertise is deep dish pizza, I know for a fact whatever I cook looks like… well, it looks edible."**_

Al sat down beside her, staring apprehensively at her meal. "I don't feel hungry anymore…"

"I do!" Maddie slammed her tray down and struggled to cut a piece off. She stabbed her fork into it and carefully brought a bit of it to her mouth and took a bite.

"Well?" Al asked. "Is it any good?" Maddie shook her head but she kept eating so her stomach would have something in it.

**Al: **_**"What was Chris thinking letting him cook for us? Has he tried Chef's food or what…?"**_

* * *

As it turns out, a fruit bowl was just that: a fruit bowl. Nothing weird or special and no bacon or eggs or ham. Just fruit… in a bowl. It wasn't very filling, but Lena didn't think hers was either. And since it was either the fruit or toast with jelly, Chris opted to get several more of the fruit bowls.

"I'm never taking you out to eat again," he grumbled.

"But you're ordering more, so you _must_ like it! Just as promised." He didn't say anything, but Lena knew she was right.

Chris checked his watch. "Hmm, we only have like fifteen minutes left… that wasn't very long. Eh, I guess you at least don't have to eat Chef's cooking."

"Wait, Chris! Why can't you hang out with everyone when we get back?" Lena asked.

He rolled his eyes and took another bit of fruit on his fork. "Elimination is tonight and I don't feel like being whined to about who I should and shouldn't send home for what reasons. Besides, it's not like I'd get to hang out with you five again."

"So, any ideas on who's getting eliminated?" Roxie asked, changing the subject.

Chris laughed. "I might… maybe it'll be Lea over here."

"You won't." She said simply, enjoying her pancakes with a smile.

Chris rolled his eyes but smiled anyways. "If that's what you think."

**Krissy: **_**"It's not fair. He seems to already, like, have a connection with Lea for who knows what reason and he likes Roxie 'cause he thinks her man legs are attractive and Charlie's playing hard to get or whatever it is she's doing and Lena picked out good food for him – does she ever stop eating, by the way? She's gone through, like, six bowls – and he's paying more attention to Rachel who ISN'T EVEN HERE than to me. Like, really – what the hell?"**_

"Lea, I think you _should_ go home." Krissy looked over at Chris and jabbed a finger at the silent girl. "CC, she has stalker written all over her."

Chris looked down at Lea, who had laid her fork and knife on her plate and laid her napkin beside her plate. She left a small portion on her plate but all traces of strawberries were gone.

**Chris: **_**"Guess she likes strawberries… and if anything, she seems to be the opposite of a stalker. I'm thinking it'll take her a while to warm up to me if anything."**_

"Chris, we'll be taking each girl back to the car in the reverse order they came out." A waiter said in a high pitched voice. "First is a Miss Kristen."

"Think about it, CC." She got up and paused. "And I'll put makeup on for you." She licked her lip and walked away. Chris shuddered. "Good luck with that…" he said, then looked at the remaining girls. "And then there were four…"

"Five!" Rachel took Krissy's seat, totally forgetting that Roxie's seat was hers originally, eyes on the table and taking deep breaths. "I'm sorry I was just in the bathroom and all sick cuz of these nerves I have and I was all 'Ugh' and stuff but I'm better and ready to –"

"Miss Rachel?" the waiter said politely. "I'm ready to escort you to your car."

"Wha?" Rachel looked at the waiter with her jaw hanging. "B-but I didn't eat yet! Or order! Or talk to Chris!"

"Well, she ordered for you, but I think I ate it." Chris shrugged. "Tough luck. Or in this case, tough nerves."

Rachel was dragged (literally) away from the table, the waiter grumbling that she should grow up as she fought to rush over to Chris. "No – this can't be! CHRIS, BABY, THE NERVES HAVE SUBSIDED I SWEAR!"

Chris coughed. "That was awkward." The girls nodded together – there was no saving Rachel or her nerves now.

"I suppose I'll be next to go." Lea said softly, pushing her chair out. Chris grabbed her hand as she started to get up. "Hey, you have barely talked to me yet!"

"Neither did Rachel." He blinked. "But if it'll make you feel better, I suppose I'll talk to you after elimination."

"What if I eliminate you?" he asked in a mock serious tone.

"I already told you – you won't. Good bye, Chris. I'll see you in the car Roxie, Lena, Charlie." They waved (well, Chris kind of just stared) as Lea got up and excused herself before the waiter walked in too far to get her.

"I like Lea. She's really confident. And she can be quiet or say anything she wants and still be cool!"

"You're confident for saying that, too." Charlie smiled. "Good for you!"

Roxie uncrossed her legs and looked at the door. "I guess I'm next to take my leave."

Chris frowned. "Bummer. But hey, do you think that if I ever come roaming around you can have a drink ready? I'm genuinely interested in your skills. And who knows – maybe you might have a few drinks yourself and I can see some of those dance moves."

Roxie stood up and her lips tilted up at the corners. "Like… what did you have in mind?"

"Surprise me." She nodded and waved to everyone as the waiter came flying over to escort her out.

Lena put her napkin up. "Whew, that was great! Nice pick for going out, Chris," she praised.

"Actually, I didn't pick it. But it worked alright I guess."

She took the empty seat that was Lea's and gave him a warm smile, something he wasn't use to. "Really, thanks. I was glad to get to know you. After this date, I learned there's more to you to get to know and I hope I get to know it all!" She leaned up and brushed her lips against his cheek before she pulled away and stood up.

"Miss Lena?"

"That's me!" Lena walked away proudly. "Oh, and thanks for not eating meat!" she said over her shoulder. Charlie sighed.

"Hey, how come you aren't trying to make moves like that?" Chris joked.

"I don't want to." She gave him an icy stare. "You only let Lena kiss you because you think she's pretty, just like you refused to let Krissy kiss you because she wasn't."

"Says who?" She stood up and he came from his seat and moved in front of her. "Hey, okay, maybe that had a bit to do with it, but not totally!"

"Listen, Chris, I think Lena's right. I think there's more to you. But unlike Lena, I don't think you're going to show it."

"Is that so?" he leaned in with his eyes narrowed at her, studying her face. "What makes you think that?" He brushed a hand through her hair. "Maybe –"

"Miss Charlie?"

"Bye." Charlie swung out of his reach and walked to the car. Chris grudgingly paid the bill, angry he missed a chance to possibly woe the seemingly un-woe-able. Charlie, however, was feeling better about being there. Maybe – maybe there _was_ more to him. Just maybe.

* * *

Mandy studied herself in the mirror. She was the picture of perfection: blonde hair with a pink hair band poking through, baby blues against tan skin shaded with thick mascara, violent red lips and cheeks accented in red. She smoother her blue tube top out and brown shorts out and clicked her blue pumps together. From this angle, she seriously thought she was the best looking person in this place. She wouldn't need to talk to Chris to stay put. Hell, she wouldn't need to talk period.

Now to start some drama…

She walked out of the room over to the largest living room in the house. She smiled as she saw Sapphire nodding to something Nina was telling her and Dawn and Bell talking about something on a cough adjacent to them.

"I wonder how the date's going," she commented innocently, taking a seat by Nina. She'd be the easiest to manipulate.

"Probably great…" Nina pouted. Sapphire and Dawn nodded wordlessly. Bell shrugged. "So? We'll have more chances."

"Yeah, but you guys could've had more of a shot at winning if it wasn't for Stormy, right?" Mandy asked Bell and Nina. "Doesn't that mean she isn't here for Chris? Shouldn't he know that?"

"I'm not here for him really, eiter," Bell said. "Does that mean you're going to tell Chris on me?"

**Sapphire: **_**"Ohh… drama is brewing… I hope it leads to a fight… we need one of those I think."**_

**Dawn: **_**"Well, I don't trust Mandy. It's rather obvious what's up to, I think. You'd have to be an idiot to not see it."**_

**Nina: **_**"CHRIS NEEDS TO KNOW THAT STORMY ISN'T HERE FOR HIM! You'd have to be an idiot to not see it!"**_

* * *

"Alright, Chris, just stand over here – no, over here. Perfect."

"Yo, why exactly am I staring at a wall of the girl's pictures?"

"Cuz we need to tape the process of you thinking about who you want to eliminate!" a camera man said. "Now – _action_!"

Chris blinked and walked out of the room. The camera crew fell over. "Hey, Chris – where you goin'?"

"To eliminate! You might want to catch thiiiiiiiiiiiis."

"He's a quick thinker," one of the crew members said. The other's nodded miserably as they gathered their supplies up to move it to the garden.

* * *

Ah, first elimination. It was late at night and the girls had all been wasting the hours away as this moment approached. They all stood on two risers set up just for the occasion. It was almost as if it were the first night all over again. Only this time was worse. This time they wouldn't be meeting the sexy man of their dreams, they'd be sent packing by him.

Chris walked out and stepped beside a table that had twenty-two chocolates set up on a plate. He looked up at the girls and smiled, with his teeth shining in the dim light. "Welcome to the first elimination, ladies. As I said, the deal here is that I give you a chocolate. You get one, good for you, but we don't want to hear about it. Just take it and go stand on the risers behind me, got it?"

They nodded

"Awwwwwwwesome. Now, in the incident that you do not receive one, get your stuff and go to the Helipad of Shame where you will board the Helicopter of Losers. And you will never return – _ever_."

**Jade: **_**"I saw TDI, buddy. Two names: Izzy and Eva."**_

Chris drew himself up and got ready to be entertained. He always did enjoy the Elimination Ceremonies. The anxious air and nervous mannerisms were fun to watch. It's a shame he'd have to ruin it. "First name up is… Roxie."

Roxie walked forward in a flaming red dress and smiled at Chris. "Now, I'm supposed to say something corny here like, 'Would you accept this chocolate' but I don't really want to. Just make sure you hold good on your word."

"You got it," she assured as she held her hand out. Chris smirked and brought her palm to his lips before dropping the candy in it. She smiled wide and got stars in her eyes as she went to her spot on the risers.

**Roxie: **_**Stares at hand with smile in place. "I got my chocolate first and got a kiss – even if it was the palm. I'm not worried. Oh, and I have a guaranteed private date with him. He's a charmer, but I need to watch out that he won't just use me and ditch me. But something tells me there's more to him. I'll keep my eyes open. And if this isn't enough: he seems to like my legs."**_

"Lena."

The girl skipped up and took the chocolate. "Is there dairy products in here?" He nodded and she sighed. "Work on that, hmm?"

"I'll just put of bowl of fruit out," he said sarcastically.

Her eyes lit up and she hugged him. "Awe – you _do_ care!" She went over by Roxie.

**Lena: **_**"He seems to be warming up to me. I'm so lucky to have this opportunity. And we even have something special – fruit bowls! It's kind of lame, but it's a start."**_

"Charlie." She came forward and he handed it to her.

"Thanks," she said.

"Don't mention it." She didn't notice and stepped off and onto the risers by Lena.

**Charlie: **_**"I'll give him a chance to open up. I think he can."**_

"Maddie." Maddie jumped up to get her chocolate with a smile. "Sweet! Thanks, Chris!"

**Maddie: **_**"I was picked fourth, but it's all good. That's top five."**_

"Al." Al came up to get her chocolate and reached forward. She stopped when Chris reached out for one of her earbuds and put it by his ear. He smiled. "Dude, I like this song. Nice music taste."

"Thanks." She laughed and went over by Maddie.

**Al: **_**"The song was 'Whoa Oh! Me Vs. Everyone' by Forever the Sickest Kids. It is also the name of my new favorite song." She winks at the camera.**_

Chris took the next chocolate in his hand and sighed. "Do I even have to say anything?"

The girls looked at each other in confusion but Lea stepped forward and held her hand out politely. "I told you," she said as he put it in her hand.

"I tried to psych you out – not even a bit?"

"No. Oh, and thank you." She offered him a rare smile and he smiled back, noticing her eyes for the first time. They had hazel flecks in them. When she left him he called out the next name, "Lauren, get up here and take this, will ya?" She smiled and took it, thanking him as she went to the risers. "Tawni?"

Tawni came forward and Chris noticed something was different about her… "You're not dressed up." He pointed out the obvious.

"I don't do formal," was her simple answer. "Does this mean I don't get the candy?"

"Nah, I think I'll keep you around a while longer." He gave her the chocolate and she walked to the risers. "Katroina." She came up and thanked him, taking her chocolate and going over. "Jade?" She came up and took it looking proud of herself.

**Jade: **_**"I know he'll get rid of me sooner or later, considering I don't like him. At all. But whatever, more time to hang out for me."**_

"Dawn?" Dawn came forward and thanked him. "Sapphire?" Same deal, only she didn't even look up.

**Sapphire: **_**"I hope trips on this step… Oh, and I'm glad Chris picked me too, of course!"**_

"Serenity." She came up with a smile.

"Thanks."

"Sure thing."

She took it and went over to join the other contestants. "Stormy." She, surprisingly, put her pen in the book and shut it. She came over and took the chocolate, Giving Chris a flick with her eyes before walking away. "Vikki." She grabbed the chocolate and ate it right there before going over to the risers.

**Vikki: **_**"This is the best chocolate I've ever had! Looks like I'll be relying on this to survive here since I still feel sick from dinner… whoever told Chef to become a cook was so not cool."**_

"Shelly." She gratefully took it. "KK." Krissy came over with a twisted smile on her face. "Yeah – don't get any closer. Just – here. Go on now." She pouted as she went over to the risers.

**Krissy: **_**"I'll MAKE him want to kiss me! And it won't end there! I don't see what his problem is…"**_

"Mandy." The blond took her candy. "Bell." She thanked him and sped off excitedly. "Kristina." She thanked him another language and he just nodded. "Right… now, down to the wire: three girls, two chocolates. Who'll it be?"

**Ulli: **_**"He better pick me. I want the money!... Err, his heart…"**_

**Nina: **_**Her body trembles. "Final… three?... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_

**Rachel: **_**"He looks sexy, even if he's in the same outfit from this morning…" she proceeds to drool.**_

"Ulli." The short, woman came up but Chris froze. "Hey, you look really young – are you legally allowed to be here?" She nodded and rolled her eyes. "Kay then, whatever. And the last name is – Nina."

Nina was a sobbing mess and she reached forward to cling onto Chris, who aptly side-stepped and watched as she fell off and into a bed of flowers. "Oh, that can't feel good… here, take this." He dropped the chocolate on her and looked over at Rachel, whose jaw was hanging open and eyes wide.

"Chris, why…?"

"I felt like it." He shrugged and looked over at the camera as security came from nowhere and grabbed Rachel, trying to drag her as she fought to stay. "Now we've got twenty-two lovely girls left. Who will win this thing? Find out on the next episode of _The Challenges of Love_!"

"Oh yeah," Tawni said, rolling her eyes. "He is _such_ a host."

* * *

**I guess it was more brunch than breakfast. Ah, well. Yes, Rachel was the first to go… which means all the oc's are now… gasp… FREE GAME! Who will go home next? Will it be the beautiful Bianca? The evil and conniving Taylor? The free-spirited Amelia? I'll tell you one thing: it can't be any of these girls, because **_**I don't know who they are**_**! … I really am sleep deprived…**

**Thanks go to: all reviewers who make my life sunshiny. You rock.**

**Special Thanks: xx. Feline. Of. Avenue. B. xx, Santi48 (you felt my pain lol), One Black Rose, 1000GreenSun, DarkNinja1994, and lazyASshika (you're going to have fun reading these when you get back!)**

**Un-Thanks: RIR… I'll never go forum/community hunting with you ever again XP**

**And I'm starting to put the playlist together and have a nifty link in profile. The same comment about it last time carries on…**

**Now, make it all worth my while (by all I mean the thirty pages of joy this was), please, and review. The warm fuzzy feeling never fades XD**


	6. Schooled

**The Challenges of Love**

**6. Schooled**

* * *

**Finally… we got some of the original cast here. Don't be too excited… XP**

****

I do not own Total Drama Island or Total Drama Action or anything related. This includes (but is not limited to) characters, places, or Chef's food. I don't own any books/media mentioned either. I also do not own any of the *spectacular* competing oc's.

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes_

_-Ladies Left: 22 _

* * *

The house wasn't that much different without Rachel there. The only major change was that no one ran around shouting about 'nerves' this and 'nerves' that or asking people if the 'nerves' was a problem for them, too. But people were still arguing, causing havoc, hating the food, et cetera, et cetera. The only prominent thing that was bothering the contestants at this point was that the elimination ceremony; it had been a week ago and there hadn't been one since. Not even a challenge came up – not that anyone complained about _that_ too much. What really was an issue was that Chris hadn't made any appearances since then.

**Lea: **_**"I told him I would talk to him after the Elimination Ceremony on our date, but he left as soon as Rachel was gone. I considered trying to go talk to him but decided against it, my reason being that I wasn't sure what his reasons for leaving so quickly were. It's just…" she trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind."**_

She wasn't the only one a bit down about the sudden disappearance. The other girls who went on the date and started to feel sparks were left feeling a bit rejected that he hadn't even came down from his room as they had tried to convince him to do. Actually, it was questioned as to whether or not he was even _in_ his room since Maddie, Lauren, and Roxie claimed to never hear or see him (being the room directly across from his, this was easy for most girls to believe).

Chef wasn't much help either. Whenever he was asked about Chris (well, whenever he was asked about _anything_) he got a gleam of murder in his beady eyes and his scowl went stiff. Then he'd go into a long and loud rant about how everyone here is a 'maggot' and should go join the army and learn how to think for themselves like he had to.

There was also a conspiracy going around that said he was hiding Chris in the fridge, but Maddie and Tawni had disproved this when they tried to find out for themselves (and maybe also to take some food fit for human consumption along the way). Chef had been serving at the time, so luckily he didn't notice. It's not as if anyone would ever try that ever again, but still it was an impressive feat.

"So, what do you guys think our next challenge will be like?" The girls were all outside lounging by the pool (with the exception of Stormy who was hiding somewhere inside) and Nina, who had been more anxious than most of them, wanted to see what they thought. So she put her book down and asked.

"Challenging." Al frowned at her iPod. "There's no way it's almost out of power! I just charged it last night!"

"I unplugged it to charge mine!" Ulli said, lifting up an orange iPod of her own and waving it around. "I didn't think you'd mind."

**Al: **_**"She didn't think I'd mind? How could she think that? I guess if she would've asked I would've been okay with it, but sneaking around with my stuff doesn't exactly put a smile on my face!"**_

"Hey, Nina – what cha reading?" Maddie leapt out of the pool and leaned over to see the emotional girl's book.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows!" she said brightly. "Why – do you like Harry Potter, too?"

Maddie's face scrunched up. "I actually don't even like to read. I was just curious, sheesh!"

"I never liked Harry Potter," Kristina shouted out from the pool. "He's too emotional and annoying. I had to read it a bunch of times because the kids I teach in hospitals like it. They always got me to read it for them."

"Did you do good?" Serenity asked. "With reading it, I mean. You must have if they asked for you!"

Lea's head lifted from a book she had in her own lap. "Well." Serenity arched a brow. "Umm… it's 'well' as in 'did you do well' instead of 'did you do good' which is… umm, _what you said_." She looked back down at her book. "Just so… you know."

**Serenity: **_**"I hate it when people correct my grammar! If I cared… well, I don't know what I'd do if I cared about it, because I don't."**_

"What a smart ass," Jade muttered under her breath.

"D-don't be mean," Sapphire said softly under her breath. She wasn't one to speak up, so Jade decided against starting an altercation and just let it go and listened.

"Hey guys – you know what I just realize?" Everyone gave Krissy their attention (a hard thing to do, but they tried). "It's, like, six in the morning and we're all wide awake. I don't know about you guys, but, like, I wake up at nine usually."

Whoa – I didn't even notice! What time is it?" Shelly looked at her iPod and answered her own question. "Wow, it's really six-thirty. That is weird!"

"Lookin' good, ladies!" The girl's all turned over to the sliding glass door to see Chris walk out. If this didn't put them in shock, his outfit did. Instead of his worn jeans and thin, loose button down shirts Chris had on dark jeans and a black blazer unbuttoned over a white tee. His hair was even gelled differently, coming out a bit more tousled than usual.

"Man he's hot," Nina muttered, drooling on her book.

"What's the occasion?" Vikki asked.

He smirked and winked simultaneously – a dangerous combination. It was then the girls noticed he had a large bag in both hands. "Can't let you know that _just_ yet, but I can give you guys these." He dropped the bags to the ground. "That is, you'll find out why if you slip yourselves into these and meet me out front at seven-thirty _sharp_." That was all it took. Whether they liked Chris or not, this suggestion of a possible challenge was enough motivation to get everyone up to and bolt to the bathrooms and raid the bags together. Chris applauded himself for getting the girls gone so quickly and took off to wait in front of the house and have a nice chat with his drivers. What better way to waste an hour than to torment somebody else?

* * *

All the girls surrounded Krissy, who had the bags in front of her. Even Stormy had noticed the chaos and was taking notes on the anticipation. "Open them already! We only have an hour!" Mandy yelled out.

"Shut the fuck up and let me take my time!" Krissy flipped her hair and undid a bow around one of the large bags. She peeked in and her eyes went wide and her lips drew into an evil sneer. "Oh this is too much… I can pull this look off but I doubt anyone else can."

"What look? What's in the bag?"

Krissy's smile only got larger as she pulled out a skimpy, little –

**Nina: **_**"Oh no – my fears have been realized!"**_

**Dawn: **_**"How degrading. It's almost too obvious what we'll be doing now, at least I think so. Still, I'm not thrilled about wearing THAT."**_

**Jade: **_**"Shoot me in the face…"**_

* * *

By seven-thirty, twenty-two females were standing outside the mansion in matching uniforms… school girl uniforms, that is.

They all had dark red vests with a white, short-sleeved button-up shirt underneath and a patch of Chris' face in the right corner. They had knee-high black fishnets, black mary janes, and short dark red pleated skirts (except for Tawni, who put on a pair of jean shorts instead). In short, they looked like they were about to do some sort of Japanese School-girl porn flick.

**Charlie: **_**"When will he learn there's more to woman then looks…?"**_

They weren't surprised to see a bus behind the limo Chris was leaning against and were even less surprised to see his face once more adorning the sides.

"Alright, I see we're all here – hey, even Stormy decided to make an appearance! Totally wicked, really. Tawni I doubt the Headmaster will like the look… wait, I am the Headmaster! Yup, you're still hot so I'll let it go. Oh – hey, wait a minute – we're missing a chick in the headcount. Where's Mandy?"

"She can't make a choice on which eyeliner she wanted to use." Dawn shrugged. "She's down to two options she can't pick between."

Chris titled his head to the side. "That so? Well, can't have her slowing us down now, can we?" He whipped a thin, black cellular-looking device out of the pocket in his jeans and tapped one of the buttons on the side. "Security, could you let Mandy know that it's high time she hit road? Or should I say _air_?"

Eyes went wide with a realization of exactly what was happening, but since this was reality television someone just had to say what this realization was aloud. "Holy shit – are you eliminating Mandy because she couldn't pick out eyeliner?" Krissy asked. No one missed the large smile on her face.

"What can I say? I'm a punctual person… most of the time." Chris tucked the device away. "Now, where was I…? Ah, right, I know what I was going to say; the name of this game is Getting Schooled. I got you all enrolled in Chris Academy for a day. Thrilling, right? Anyways you'll go through a bunch of classes and take a bunch finals at the end of each one, all pass or fail. The lady who gets the most passes will win invincibility tonight and a private date tomorrow. Totally sick if you ask me."

"I hate school!" Krissy whined.

"I know – and because of that it'll be that much more fun for me to watch!"

* * *

Mandy evaluated herself in the mirror and settled for a solid nine point five out of ten. Being a celebrity personal assistant for Madonna she needed to make sure she looked better than everyone else would while wearing the same outfit. This would be a perfect opportunity to cause drama, too and it's a must to ruin people's lives only when looking better than them.

She grabbed her bag and made to leave when two giant men appeared in front of her. She sighed. "… Is this a part of a challenge?"

"No. We are sorry to inform you that Chris has just eliminated you."

Her blue eyes shot open. "Wha-what? That's so not fair! I didn't even get to talk to him yet!"

"Sorry, but what Chris says go. Now we can do this the _easy_ way or the _hard_ way."

**Mandy: **_**"I picked the easy way and let them carry my bags up. It freakin' sucks that just because I wanted to look hot to go out and for him that the impatient bastard eliminates me. He can't even do it to my face! And he got rid of me over some of these ugly, tacky, weird girls? We'll see if he finds love. I highly doubt it. He turned down a shot with me – of course he's going to be lonely by the time the reunion comes around… hey I wonder how good the place we get eliminated to is…"**_

* * *

The bus ride was horrible. The driver was crazy and kept driving in the wrong lane or on the sidewalk. By the time it halted in front of a large brick building, the ladies were more than happy to get off onto stable land.

**Lauren: **_**"No way… did he have this built just for the show?"**_

"Ladies?" The girls looked to the front door to see the date escort waiting patiently. "Allow me to lead you to your first class."

The girls followed him into the large entrance hall and were wowed by the decorations and the amount of places Chris managed to put his face. There wasn't a wall that didn't have at least one portrait of him somewhere on it. Even the water fountains had his face adorning the front. They thought the classrooms would be the same, but it turns out that they were much, much worse.

They weren't worse because of the decorations but for a completely _other_ reason.

The girls' jaws fell open as they entered the first classroom and saw someone sitting in a large computer chair and huddled over a book on a posh desk. He ignored the questions and stares so the girls gave up wondering and went over to the desks that had their names on them. Some were happy with their seating arrangement (Shelly and Tawni high-fived each other at scoring seat besides one another in the back corner of the room) and others were the exact opposite (Maddie had a seat in the front beside Krissy and Ulli the walking orange).

After they all sat down and got quiet, the book in the teens hand snapped shut and was laid down on the desk. He stood up and sighed. "Welcome to a run through of Language Arts courtesy of your shared love interest. _What a guy_," he said dryly.

"Noah, you were my fave character!" Krissy said, leaning forward to show her cleavage off. Indeed, Noah was designated teacher and this brought on mixed feelings.

**Stormy: **_**"I'm in college. This is going to be easy if it's set up from a high school student… though it may provide some sort of plot twist I don't know about…" She jots this thought in her book.**_

**Sapphire: **_**"I was disappointed when Noah skipped out on Dodgebrawl. That would've been something to see! He'd been mauled so bad he wouldn't be standing in one piece right now…" This thought is enough to send her into a fit of dark giggles.**_

Noah arched a brow at the girls obvious come on. Either she was dumb and desperate or he was _really_ her favorite. Not that he cared either way, she looked too much like Heather for him to ever like. "Seeing how I have an astonishing IQ and grammar and literature and my forte, I've been given this _fantastic_ job thanks to my equally _fantastic_ contract." He said this flatly and with little interest. What a strange guy. "Since I don't really want to be here and just want to finish the chapter I'm on, I'll just go ahead and give you guys your final now."

"But – you didn't even teach us anything!" Nina whined.

"If I need to teach you about the language you're speaking right now, I think you have bigger problems than this." Noah went over and took a pile of papers and lined papers off his desk and passing them down the rows. "It's easy – just an essay, and you even have forty-five minutes to do it. Just do it and get it done."

The girls flipped the paper's over on their desks and reeled at the assignment.

**Nina: **_**Her eyes are filled with tears and she's shaking as she reads the assignment off the paper. "The following passage is Abraham Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address. Identity the rhetorical strategies used in his speech and elaborate on why Lincoln used them." She starts crying and her beanie goes lopsided. "I don't even know what a rhetorical strategy IS."**_

**Tawni: **_**"Last time I checked, I was in Canada. Why are we writing about Americans?"**_

**Stormy: **_**"Rhetorical strategies are easy to indentify in this piece. For one thing, parallel sentence structure is littered throughout the entire piece. And if that isn't enough, Lincoln has form follows function that wears on the readers the way the constant fights between the northern and southern states wore away on the American citizens. I could keep going, but I'd be here all day."**_

Everyone was silent as they wrote away save for Al's music. Some people around her found it distracting and waited for Noah to say something, but he was too far gone in whatever he was reading to notice. Or maybe he just didn't care. It was highly possible.

**Noah: **_**"Something like this I personally find to be rather monotonous. Though I imagine Chris is doing this to exploit whatever mental weaknesses exist in whoever's left and embarrass them, thus making them suffer for his gratification. To fulfill my contract I opted I would just do it and get it over with. Besides, I'm provided with some valuable and hard to come by reading time which I couldn't pass up. If I can commit this walkthrough of the upcoming Final Fantasy game to memory, I'll be sure to have it beat in minutes. Not that I wouldn't have without doing so, but still."**_

After fifteen minutes, Krissy bounded up to Noah. "Ahem, hey, Noah? I have a question for you."

Oh no, here we go… "What? I think the directions are clear cut." His voice rang with exasperation.

"Yeah, but I don't know what he means right here." She leaned in and tried the cleavage trick a bit closer. Noah not only seemed indifferent, but some could say he was a bit put off. He had a bunch of chapters to get through and this girl was hovering over him. How harrowing. "What's your name?"

"Kristen, but Krissy works fine." Score – he was cracking, she was sure of it! Dweebs like him must get no action and now someone of her looks and popularity was fawning over him he was sure to give her special treatment!

"Krissy, you look so motivated to get this paper done, I should just give you a perfect for that."

"Really?" she asked brightly, missing the sarcasm laced in his voice.

"Yes. And after that, I think I'll go drop out of school and go join a bluegrass band."

"Ewe, really?"

"No. I advise you not only reapply to high school again but also that you also go _away_."

She stuck her nose up as everyone laughed. "Fine, be that way. I bet you're gay – I saw you kiss Cody's _ear_!" Noah grumbled something about taking Izzy's thunder as she moved back to her desk.

After the forty-five minute struggle a bell went off and Noah shut his book. "Alright, now as I call your name come up and give me your test. If I pass you, go back to your seat and wait until the escort comes and takes you away to your next destination of doom and depression. If I fail you, go meet the escort in the hall and see yourself to the bus and have fun waiting to get back to wherever you came from."

Noah did a lazy sweep of the room for someone to pick on and they narrowed at a certain make-up fiend. "Krissy, was it? Bring whatever you have or don't have up here."

Krissy pouted as she went over to him. His brows lifted into his creased forehead at the paper. "It's blank."

"I never, like, had enough time to finish reading it."

"I bet you had trouble with it since it's so long and everything." His sarcasm never seemed to slip away, did it? "Do I even have to tell you that you failed?"

Krissy ripped the paper from his hands and ripped it up, threw it on the floor, and stomped on it. "No wonder you're single!" was her parting comment as she stomped out the room.

**Krissy: **_**"What a bitch. I bet he couldn't even do his dumb test!"**_

Noah looked at a list of names and picked one randomly. "Kayla?"

"IT'S STORMY!" the red head shouted, stomping over to the front of the room and slapping a paper onto his desk before she went back to writing in her own book. Noah was a bit stirred by her spike of violence and read her paper apprehensively. He blinked. "A few errors, but can't be helped. Pass."

"Katroina?" She came up and handed Noah her papers. He scanned it briefly. "Pass. Jade?" Quick scan. "Pass. Al?" Al brought her paper up. "You managed to mention Dane Cook in here and still have it flow… interesting. Pass. Ulli?"

"Here you are!" she boasted, handing him the paper.

He made a face at it as he read through it. "You pass, but just barely. You obviously made up words… not much of a English major, are you? I didn't want an answer. Nina?... Pass, and just so you know it's rather irritating to try and read this with it splotched all over. Lea?... Pass. Charlie?... Pass. Kristina?... Pass. Lauren?... Pass. Maddie?"

Noah was expecting to see words when she gave him her paper, but there were none. Instead he was greeted with a cartoon picture of Maddie hugging Chris and Krissy looking rather beat up on the ground. Hmmm, the she-witch was in pain… "Pass." Well, she _was_ creative.

**Maddie: **_**"Take that, Krissy!"**_

"Roxie?... Pass. Tawni?... Pass. Lena?... Pass. Sapphire?... Pass. Vikki?... Pass. Shelly?... Pass. Bell?..." he read her paper and laughed. "This is pathetic. Go read sometime, alright? Fail."

**Bell: **_**"It's not my fault I did so badly! It was hard to concentrate when I have Al blaring her music on one side of me and Nina crying on my other side! I'm surprised I got anything written!"**_

"Dawn?... Pass. And Serenity?... Pass. Good. Two less people to compete against. Isn't this a joyful occasion." Noah got his book and strode to the door. "Have fun with the rest of the challenges."

"Wait! Noah! Are there other TDI and TDA people here?" Nina asked nervously.

"You'll find out I guess." Was his only parting words as he took off out the door. His book and him no longer had to be separated – the world _was_ kind.

"That was easy!" Jade bragged. "As long as we just keep getting tests like this it'll be an easy win!"

The escort appeared and the twenty girls left got up and followed him out of the room. He led them to a set of large double doors and sprinted away in fear. The sign above them read 'Gymnasium.'

**Vikki: **_**"If the escort guy ran away that fast –"**_

**Al: **_**" – it could only mean one thing…"**_

**Nina: **_**"The person in charge here –"**_

**Dawn: **_**" – has got to be –"**_

**Serenity: **_**" – none other than –"**_

**Sapphire: **_**"Eva." She smiles wide at the camera. "Finally – I'll get to see some REAL pain now!"**_

The girls (somewhat apprehensively) pushed the doors opened and walked into the pitch black gym as their shoes clicked against the polished wood finished floor. "Oh man!" Lauren said. "It's just like the _other_ challenge! We're going to be in the dark again!"

Suddenly the lights went on and the door slammed shut. Everyone immediately took a few things into consideration: there was a large volleyball net set up and there was an angry Eva standing in front of it.

"You won't be in the dark," the Polish female growled. "Volleyball has to be played in the light so you can make strategy and find the weakest links faster!" Everyone shivered and understood why people found her frightening.

"How do we pass, Eva?" Nina asked quietly so no one really knew what came out of her mouth.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME?" Eva roared acusingly, cracking her knuckles. All she heard was her name muttered in a soft tone and that automatically translated into trash talk. Eva didn't like people talking bad about her… or tolerate it.

"I di-didn't say an-anything about ya-you!" Nina squeaked and shook harder. "I just wanted ta-to know how, err…" Eva took a step forward and Nina gave a squeal as she hightailed it out the door and to the bus.

**Nina: **_**Tears are gushing from her eyes as she dabs her beanie at them. "She's so mean! I didn't say anything! I JUST ASKED A QUESTION!" She leans forward and sobs into her beanie, but it's too far forward as evident by the fact that she falls forward off the chair a moment later. "Ouch."**_

Eva's dark eyes flicked to the remaining girls who tried to look as innocent as possible. "You – Orangey, get to the right!" Ulli kept her snide comments to herself in fear for her life and walked carefully to Eva's right side. "And you – Shorts – go to the other side!" Tawni walked over and left of her, making sure she did it slowly as well. "Now you two are captains, got that? Go on and off and pick team players and _no funny business or else_!"

**Eva: **_**"These weaklings wouldn't stand a chance against me – I dominate in volleyball! But my dumb contract has me mediating instead. What a waste!"**_

"Orangey – you first!" Eva barked.

Ulli's light eyes roved the girls for the most physically capable of the girls. She had seen most of them trip, fall, and almost lead themselves into catastrophe. Though some more than others, this house was still full of girls who needed were walking warning signs. There was one girl who did have some muscles on her… "Vikki!" Vikki trudged over, shrugging her shoulders at Tawni who had already made 'be my co-captain!' eye-contact.

Tawni looked around and felt fireworks go off in her head when she remembered someone else who was in great physical condition. "Roxie!" The dancer took long strides over beside Tawni feeling happy to get first pick.

"Damn," Ulli muttered. That was her second pick. "Then I'll go with… the vegetarian." Katroina and Lena looked at each other in confusion. Ulli sighed. "The energetic one!" Lena went skipping over with her game face on.

Tawni felt relief that her pick wasn't taken. "Maddie, I hope you played this back in New Jersey!"

Maddie smiled and nodded, rushing over to join her teammates. Though she didn't like sports, that didn't keep her from being bad at them.

Ulli further assessed the build of girls and tried to joggle her memory to recall a moment when one particular one stood out. She was stuck. "Whatever… vegetarian two come over here."

**Katroina: **_**"I'm not just big on the environment! Some people just notice what they want I guess."**_

"Shelly!" Tawni called out. Her friend came over looking glad she got picked by Tawni before Ulli set her sights on her.

"Charlie!" Ulli shouted out.

"Al!" Tawni smiled as the Al came over, hiding her precious iPod from the evil glint in Eva's eyes.

"Jade!" The bored punk went over to join Ulli's team.

"Lauren!" The copper haired waitress joined Tawni's team with a smile.

"Kristina!" Ulli called out next.

"Serenity!" Tawni yelled louder.

None of the girl's left were star athletes to say the least. There was Lea, who seemed to not only loathe anything sports-related but went out of her way to avoid it. Stormy would probably just sit there if she was picked and write in her dumb book if anything. Sapphire was the quiet, calm, shy girl who looked like she'd run from the ball if anything. And then Dawn… well, she had glasses… 'nuff said.

**Dawn: **_**She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and frowns at the camera reproachfully. "That's called stereotyping."**_

Not having much to go with, Ulli pointed at someone in defeat. "Lea."

Damn, best option is taken! Tawni bit her lip as her teammates tried to whisper suggestions at her. "Shut up! I pick… Dawn."

Shy and scared or bookworm… tough choice there… "Which loser… I pick Sapphire." Sapphire came over, happy to not be last pick.

"I guess I get Stormy…" Tawni's team collectively groaned and their heads swung forward as Stormy walked over, writing in her book avidly.

**Jade: **_**"Alright! I'm not stuck with the slacker psycho writer again!"**_

**Lauren: **_**"Oh no! I'm stuck with the slacker psycho writer again!"**_

A sharp whistle stung the girls ears and they all clutched their ears. Even Al's music couldn't block out the high-pitched ring. Eva put her hands to her hips and frowned… even more. "Stop messing around! Orangey – take your team to this side of the net! Everybody get into position!" Everyone got ready for action, waiting for her to continue. "For those ignorant morons who don't know what volleyball is, just know this: you don't want the ball touching the ground or going out of bounds or the other team gets a point. No touching net or leaving your spot. Whoever gets to five points first wins. Other than that do what you have to – got that?" Everyone nodded in fear, thanking their stars that Eva wasn't playing. "Well then – _volley for serve already_!"

She threw a ball at Lauren to start, but she used too much force and knocked the girl into Shelly and they both fell to the ground, feeling bruises burning their skin. Lauren sniffed as she apologized to Shelly (who told her she didn't have to, she understood) and struggled to stand. She sniffed and tossed the ball over the net feebly at Jade. She leapt up to hit it and – missed.

"DAMMIT!" Ulli boomed as Maddie was given the ball to serve. No one on Team Orangey liked the evil glint in her eye as she got a hold of the ball. "Zero-All!" she shouted and tossed the ball high in the air and flew up to smack it over the net. It was aimed at Lena in the back row. She easily bumped the ball back and it came over to Stormy. Everyone was ready to run to the rescue when Stormy shut her book and dropped her pen and smacked the ball across the net as if she was playing baseball instead.

**Stormy: **_**"She did say to do whatever… this is way better than high school volleyball."**_

The ball was flying at Lea. Her pupils turned to pinpricks as the ball swirled over and smacked her in the face with a force to rival Eva's throws. She stood still as the ball fell off it and rolled to the floor. "Lea?!" Charlie yelled. "Are you okay?"

Everyone's face was filled with concern as Lea went without saying anything. Then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed on the floor. "There's one out!" Eva shouted out indifferently. She blew into her whistle twice and two guys came in and took the unconscious girl out to the bus.

**Lea: **_**She's pressing an icepack to her forehead and looks incensed. "I am not the least bit surprised at the outcome…" She sighs miserably. "Oh well, it happens."**_

**Maddie: **_**"Sorry Lea!"**_

"No fair!" Ulli said to Eva. "We're down one player! Get rid of one of theirs!"

"_Who do you think you are_?" Eva's eyes flashed with power and Ulli muttered an apology and frowned at her team's misfortune.

Maddie got possession of the ball again and got into overhand serving position. "One-Zero!"

The ball was in play. Ulli bumped it to Stormy who Book-Slapped it to Lena who set it so Katroina could hit it over to Roxie who spiked it… "Damn Roxie, THAT WAS COOL!" Tawni admired.

"I was good in gym!" She said proudly.

Maddie got the ball… _again_. "Two-Zero!" The ball went from Lena to Lauren who set it up for Roxie who spiked it. "Three-Zero!" Charlie bumped the ball and it went to Roxie, who spiked it once more.

"STOP AIMING THE FUCKING BALL AT HER ALREADY! ARE YOU ALL RETARDS OR SOMETHING?!?" Ulli got cold looks from this comment, but it was true their strategy wasn't working well. "Aim for Dawn!" Ulli ordered.

"Why?" Lena asked.

"She's wearing glasses! She can't be too good, right?"

**Dawn: **_**"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me! Just because I wear glasses it doesn't mean I can't play sports well!"**_

"Four-Zero! One more point until victory!" Maddie laughed and did her signature overhand serve for Kristina. She hit it over and it went over Roxie's head and straight at Dawn. The girl with the faux-hawk sighed and bumped it up at Al who hit it higher so Roxie could slam it down. "GAME!" Maddie cheered and all the girls on Team Shorts jumped around together.

"I'm outta here! You must leave too, Team Orangey!" That must have been the nicest thing Eva said all day as she trudged out the door with a defeated team following after.

**Ulli: **_**"This game was JIPPED! Everyone knows if you have glasses you're doomed to suck in sports! If we would've had a ski challenge I would have won! THIS ISN'T OVER!"**_

**Katroina: **_**"Serves her right for stereotyping, but still**_** I**_** didn't want to lose!"**_

A few moments after they left, the ecstatic group of girls went to the hallway to meet up with their escort. He took them to lunch (Chef was cooking there… _oh joy_). After forcing the thick, chunky stew-like pasta down their throats, they were taken to the next classroom.

It looked like an art classroom. There were stations with easels and paint set up, but no sign of the high school teacher. The girls filed in to wherever they felt like and waited anxiously.

"I hope it's someone who isn't sarcastic or scary," Serenity said.

"Don't we all!" Al agreed.

Without warning, something came flying through the window and filled the room with smoke. Everyone coughed until the smoke dissipated, revealing a girl in army get-up with curls of red hair poking out of her army cap.

"Izzy!" Al cheered. "She's nice… albeit crazy, but still nice!"

Izzy's eye twitched. "It's E-Scope! EEEEE-Scope! Short for Kaleidoscope, but not Kaleidoscope!"

"You changed your name…?" Everyone immediately was reminded of Stormy and could picture her somehow understanding Izzy-logic.

**Stormy: **_**"Me understand Izzy? Yeah right, she's crazy!" She looks around shiftily and write in her book.**_

"Hehehe… so, what, like, are you guys here for? You want to paint? I paint well. This one time I painted a picture of Lady Madonna and people thought that some DaVinci guy did it and it wound up in this real famous museum in France and there was a book and stuff about it that they made into a move! Cool, huh?" The girls gave each other looks and decided that maybe she wasn't going to be so easy after all. "Kay, now paint! While you do that, I'm going to go see if Noah's still here and if I can measure his head – it's a perfect egg shape and I'm thinking if I study it I can use the dimensions to make a mask so whenever the RCMP try to get me again they'll think I'm him and get off my trail! IT'S INGENIOUS!"

"Ah, what are we supposed to paint?" Dawn asked.

"Whatever you want! E-Scope has to go now but she'll be back in a couple secs so I'd hurry if I were you – which I'm not, but if I was I would do that. And other stuff." She whipped out another smoke bomb and dropped it to the floor. Once the smoke dissipated (again) the girls looked at their paint warily.

"Well… I guess we're just painting something she likes then?" Dawn asked the girls, not enjoying her answer from Izzy.

"Do you think that's possible…?" Maddie wondered.

"Worth a shot!" Lauren decided. The nine girls left went along with it and opened their paints and tried to think up an idea that would be aesthetically appeasing to Izzy – which was no easy feat by any means.

They had only painted for ten minutes – barely started – when Izzy shot through the door and slammed against it, turning the lock and struggling for air. "GOT IT!" she said merrily, waving a marked ruler around in triumph. She felt like she was being stared at and brought her attention to the girls. "Oh, right! You guys, like, need me to do the pass and fail deal. No ish!"

She tucked the ruler away in her army pack and did back flips over to Dawn's painting. It was the best out of the nine and was a scene of a beach that she had just started painting in. "It's not done," Izzy observed.

"You only gave us ten minutes, Izzy!"

"It's E-Scope! 'E 'as in the letter you say and 'Scope' as in Kaleidoscope which is what my name is!"

**Dawn: **_**"She makes… no sense."**_

"FAIL-URE! 'C' as in the letter your way out!" Dawn left without much of a fight – it would be pointless to reason the ruler of insanity.

Izzy snuck over to Stormy's empty canvas. "You painted nothing." Stormy took her pen and pointed to a small dot of paint in the corner of said canvas. "Ahehehehehe – E-Scope enjoys this!" She bounded over to Serenity, who had just painted the background black. "NICE! PASS PASS PASS-ITY PASS!" She slid over to Tawni. Tawni hadn't thought of an idea and just dabbed her paint brush onto her canvas like Stormy had done. "Ewe, just a dot? That's not creative. And I know creative since I wrote this book about it and everyone bought it and said, 'Hey aren't you that creative girl?' and I told them yes and this makes me creative which you are not so LATER!"

**Tawni: **_**"Figures she'd go for it if Stormy does it but not when I do it. Crazies got to stick together."**_

"This is cheap!" Tawni argued as she stormed from the room.

Izzy blinked. "What? Does she, like, have beef with me or something…?" She turned her head to Maddie's canvas and winced. "AH! ALL THOSE COLORS! It's like you stole a rainbow! _How could you_?"

"I know, I know, I fail!" Maddie rolled her eyes and left in defeat. Something told her that the sooner she left the better.

Izzy gave the her a confused look as the door slammed shut. "I was going to say pass but… okay!" She looked at Al's canvas which had 'Al' written in blue. She gave the thumbs up. "PASS! Who we got next?" Roxie stepped away from her canvas, which had splatters of paint on it.

**Roxie: **_**"What better way to amuse and abstract person than with abstract art?"**_

Izzy looked it up and down and took the paintbrush from Roxie's hands and swirled the red paint on it around her canvas. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Hmmm… too much red. You shouldn't have added any. FAIL!"

"But you just added the red!" Roxie said incredulously.

"Nobody likes a liar and denial is not only a river in Egypt!"

**Roxie: **_**"Okay, so I was wrong…"**_

Izzy slid over to Lauren's canvas next. "I tried to make a rose, but it doesn't really look like one…"

"It looks like a goop of red, which is what your friend that just left could have used on hers… PASS!" She went over to her last victim, Shelly. She had a blank canvas, not being able to have thought up a good idea. "This is INSPIRING! BEST ONE YET! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!"

* * *

It was difficult, but the five girls left managed to escape the art room in one piece. Izzy had decided to measure their heads to help her with her mask-making idea, so they duck and dove to the door and raced after their escort, who was running after he heard Izzy's loud scream. They made it to the classroom door and let out a breath. "She's fast," Serenity muttered and everyone just nodded.

They looked around the classroom and jaws dropped. They were surrounded by numbers. Which could only mean one thing…

**Stormy: **_**"My worst nightmares have made it up through the woodworking! It's, it's – MATH!"**_

"Take a seat, _ladies_."

That voice made the girls freeze. None of them wanted to turn around, for fear of what they'd see. But then they considered what they'd be missing out on and turned anyways. Their eyes glazed over as they made contact with a tall, tan man with dark hair and a killer smile. And his _knees_…

"Justin!" The girls swooned, forgetting they were on a show to win Chris.

**Chris: **_**"Can't really say I blame 'em."**_

"Go find a seat if you will." He smiled as they rushed to grab a desk. He walked over to get the test papers and pencils and laid them out on their desks. "Now take this math tests and – I'm afraid there aren't any calculators."

"It's okay…" the girls said dreamily.

"You have thirty minutes – good luck."

"Good luck…" the girls dazedly filled in answer bubbles while admiring Justin. They just stopped at whatever problem they were on when his shirt 'accidently' ripped apart as he flexed his muscles while checking himself out in a window across the room. They were all still stuck in a daze when the bell went off.

He walked up beside a scantron. "When I call your name, come to me –" the girls sighed – "with your tests. Stormy?"

She bolted from her seat and walked up to him, writing as she examined his chest. "Do you have a test?" he asked.

"No… I couldn't take it and write about how captivating your looks are at the same time…"

"Then you have to go now."

"I know… but I can't…" On cue security came and led her to the bus, making sure to avoid looking at Justin themselves.

**Stormy: **_**Stares at camera and drool drips onto her book. "He's nice to look at the closer you get…"**_

"Lauren?" Lauren came up and handed him her test. He ran it through and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but you didn't fill the bubbles in all the way. I'm afraid you fail."

"What bubbles…?" She wondered aloud as she walked backward out the door.

**Lauren: **_**"Now, before anyone judges me and says I don't like Chris, you have to know something; it's true what they say. He really IS that gorgeous up close and he really DOES shine."**_

"Al?" Al had her music turned up to loud and never had a chance to turn it down since she was currently paralyzed by Justin's good looks. Justin shook his head and went over to her and led her out of the room.

**Al: **_**"Daaaaaaaaaaamn. No wonder he won so many challenges because of his good looks! It makes sense now!"**_

"Serenity?" Serenity gave him her test. He ran it through and laughed – a beautiful sound, by the way. "I'm afraid you filled in the back instead of the front."

"Uh-huh…" she stared on. Needless to say she was taken out by security.

**Serenity: **_**"Coming here was the best dare. Ever."**_

"And Shelly, it's just you and me now." Shelly gulped and gave him her test, trying to stop looking at him so much. She heard a beep and looked over at his smirk. "Congratulations – you won today's challenge... barely."

**Justin: **_**"Even when I'm not competing my looks have a devastating effect on the competition."**_

* * *

"It's that time again, ladies. One of you will be leaving _forever_ tonight. After getting your crap you'll get on the Helipad of Shame and ride away in the Helicopter of Losers with a one-way-ticket not winning." The girls were back on the familiar risers as Chris went on about them... well, losing. "Before I begin, I just want to say that I got much entertainment from today's challenge. It was fun to watch!"

**Krissy: **_**"Sadistic bastard."**_

"As promised, Shelly was the winner today and get immunity, so Shelly you just take this and hop on over there." She smiled and took her candy with a smile.

**Shelly: **_**"This is so awesome! Not only am I exempt from elimination, but I have a guaranteed one-on-one date!"**_

"Roxie." The Mexican beauty took her chocolate and went to the safe risers.

**Roxie: **_**"I was first pick again!"**_

"Tawni… Maddie… Charlie…" he stopped and his lips formed a perfect circle. "Sheesh, what happened to you?"

Lea walked up with her forehead glowing red. Chris usually got riled up by stuff like that but for some reason he felt an awkward combination of rage and melancholy. "I got hit with a volleyball. I was never one for sports."

"I hear ya. Totally sick mark," he said as he handed her a chocolate. "Alright, back on track here: Stormy… KK – hey, _don't come closer_ – good, now where was I?... Charlie – I wish you were still in the uniform, you looked great."

She gave him a glare.

"Just joking! I swear! Aw now she's mad… Al… Ulli… Vikki… Sapphire… Lauren… Lena."

Lena stepped up and Chris held up a hand as she reached for the chocolate. He lifted a lid from a tray he had beside the chocolate tray and revealed grapes. Her eyes went wide. "Now you can't compla-"

His sentence stopped there as she threw her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to hers. She parted her lips and sucked on his bottom lip for a brief second before letting go and getting a few grapes and heading over to the risers. The girls and Chris looked stunned as she playfully popped the grapes into her mouth.

**Lena: **_**"He does care! He went out of his way when I least expected him to do so. I'm so… happy! I just had to kiss him!"**_

**Krissy: **_**"WHAT THE HELL, CC! Slutty environmentalist bitch can kiss you but I CAN'T?"**_

Now besides being tired and shocked, all the girls felt a bit of jealousy and hurt to top it off. Chris, however, was smiling like a mad man but refused to address the issue. "Katroina, you can get in on this grape deal, too." Katroina took a grape and went over to the risers. "Back to chocolates now. Kristina… Dawn… Serenity… Bell… Lauren… and the final name for the night will be… Nina."

Nina once more had her eyes sparkling with tears. She decided to try to get a kiss, too, but Chris wasn't feeling it and dodged. She pouted and decided to try later and took her chocolate and marched to the risers. "Jade, time to head out forever."

She shrugged. "About time I guess."

**Jade: **_**"Chris is evil and I'm glad I got outta there before any more bodily harm could possibly befall me or any more lame challenges could demean me. I hope that royal bitch gets karma-ed."**_

**Roxie: **_**"I was feeling confident, but no more games! That kiss must have put Lena in the lead. I guess I just can't –"**_

**Maddie: **_**" – screw around anymore! It's time to bring on my game and make Chris –"**_

**Krissy: **_**" – want to fucking kiss me more than these other bitches and hoes because I –"**_

**Sapphire: **_**" – really hope our next challenge is more dangerous. It's been a week and no one's shed any blood! How lame is that? I guess what I'm trying to say is –"**_

**Bell: **_**" – that I think I'm going home soon. It sucks, but I wanted to be friends with Chris if anything. I don't want –"**_

**Ulli: **_**" – to rip these girls to shreds! I will then burn them into ashes which I will use –"**_

**Shelly: **_**" – on my date with Chris! I wish I knew where we were going. I think it's –"**_

**Kristina: **_**" – a shame I was on the losing team, but next challenge I'll try harder because –"**_

**Al: **_**" – it's time I got to know him as Chris rather than the TV host and I hope he –"**_

**Lena: **_**" – liked that kiss as much as me!"**_

**Lea: **_**"… I could use some aspirin…"**_

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**I wish I could see TDA right now… apparently Chris admits to getting his nails done… that's random. Oh goodness do I need sleep… I actually had this chapter done on Friday night but I thought it was lame (it was a different challenge). And I wanted to post it to get it over with, but I know you guys like quality, so I rewrote it and gave a different challenge (I didn't get to contact my challenge beta on this, so I was skeptical… but I have a feeling she'll forgive me!). But I figure we all hate school, so why not?**

**Thanks go out to: all my lovely reviewers, who fill me with more joy than a fluff fic (and I'm a fluff lover to the extreme).**

**Special Thanks: ****.**** (for introducing me to the wonderful world of sexy sadist boys on an island – yum… CHAPTER 2 HERE I COME!), lazyASshika (had to mention the Dane Cook thing!), Santi48 (radical reviewer extraordinaire, who discovered what Chris' turn on is), and 1000GreenSun (the best and only challenge beta I've got XP)**

**Next update? Valentine's Day fer sure – it'll be *special* and not one person will go home (no challenge), so people with oc's left and other's cheering for them can chill for a while XP… well, I guess that's TOO nice… how about I warn you of Plot Twist 1 and let you worry? Oh… wait, I JUST DID! MUAHAHAHA…**

**Please review, loves ;)**


	7. That Fluffy Feeling

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The Challenges of Love

**7. That Fluffy Feeling**

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**I'm posting this as 12:31 AM eastern time so everyone can read it on V-Day and I won't be home. This is by far he longest chapter, so try to take breaks and read in a well lit room XD**

**WARNING****: This is pretty much going to be like twenty one-shots with different little moments and interactions between Chris and the girls starting with Shelly's date and ending with Krissy, though some are obviously more comic relief than fluff. My point? This is just a V-Day treat to all my fan-smackin'-tastic reviewers who seem to like the cute stuff XP. It doesn't have that much to do with the plot, but they'll be referenced in later chapters. **

**II highly, HIGHLY, highly suggest you read more than your oc or the oc your supporting, because things do take a bit of a turn with some oc's I think and you might want to keep an eye on the competition… but hey, just a recommendation. Also not all shots will be the same length, but I hope no one knocks me for that lol remember I'm an honors/AP student taking the highest level classes possible and I had the darn PSSA's to throw my schedule off balance and my school paper is making me due fifty-gagillion articles and I signed up for SATs and have been studying and taking these seemingly useless classes for it but hey – I'm writing this instead. So no hating, just enjoy, eh?**

**The plot twist will be the last shot, mmkay? So, get your Valentine's Spirits up and scroll dooooooooooownward!**

**This is my treat to you. I hope you get fluffy feelings and such as you should on this Hallmark holiday :)**

**I guarantee my reading audience that I do not own TDI/TDA, Hot Pockets, Godzilla, or The Dark Knight. I also do not own any of the absolutely awe-inspiring oc's.**

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**Part I: Taking the Leap – Shelly Smith**

Unlike the other girls who had went on a date with Chris, Shelly got to take time and get ready for hers. That evening, a limo had come to pick her up and drive her off to who-knows-where, and she was feeling a rush of excitement at all the daydream-dates she was devising on her own. Would he take her out on his yacht? Take her to a restaurant? Would they cuddle by a campfire on the beach as a violinist played a special song for them? The anticipation created the strangest thoughts…

When the limo came to a halt and the door was unhurriedly opened, Shelly leapt out to see she was in the city and she was standing at the bottom of a tall building that looked like it could be Godzilla height. She followed the escort all the way to the elevator and rocked on her heels as the elevator climbed up floor by floor until they made it to a floor labeled 'Roof Top.'

The doors opened smoothly and he pointed to a table. She thanked him and walked over to a table with candlelight on it and smiled warmly at it. Who would have thought he'd be so romantic on a first date…? Then she noticed the loud sound and swishing air and looked at a helicopter (not the elimination one, thank the stars).

"Gear up!"

She turned around confused as something was thrown at her and dropped to the ground. She bent over and picked up what looked to be a backpack only it felt full and the material wasn't quite right. "What's this?" she resolved to asking Chris, who had been the one to throw it at her.

He gave her a smile and leaned in close to her ear. "That, my dear, is a parachute pack."

She blinked at the candle that the helicopter flicked out on the nicely set (but now slowly ruined) table. "What about that over there?" Chris shrugged and said it was for some other celebrity couple, which was why they should probably get on the helicopter now…

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**Part II: Tag Team – Madina 'Maddie' Roy**

It was barely twelve when they made their move. They had adopted the persona of secret agents with one mission: make it to the male agent's car and get out and back before anyone got suspicious. It seemed simple enough when they discussed it earlier that day, but plans usually sounded simple before executed.

They had successfully made it down to the first floor up from their rooms when they came across the first hurdle of the adventure: an open living room door full of wide awake girls. The plus to this was that the light was off, so the agents mutually agreed using a form of strange, unspoken hand taps (recently developed on the spot) that they'd just sneak by quietly and hope for the best. Not one of their best ideas…

"HALT TRESPASSER AND OR TRESPASSERS! Who goes there?" Al's voice boomed out in an English accent, earning giggles and laughs from the girls in the room.

This worried the duo, for with all the voices they heard laugh there could be many girls are crammed into the room for all they knew. It was a riskier operation that they had to work through. They decided to not answer and try to play it off and once the girls decided it was nothing, the mission resumed.

"Guys, someone's totally down here." Shelly said.

"Seriously – who's out there?" Tawni asked.

Agent 1 nudged Agent 2, who gave him an exasperated 'What the hell am I supposed to do, genius?!' expression. She quickly remembered the darkness that masked her expression and cleared her voice. "Ummm… it's me!"

All was silent and the agents panicked a bit – were they found out already? Then…

"MADDIE!" the room shouted in unison. "What cha doing up?" "Wanna hang out?" "Can you get me some pie?" "What time is it?" and other similar questions rang through the air and pressing on the precious time allotted for the completion of her mission. "Guys, I'm cool, kay?" Agent 2 said through the darkness. "I just came down here to go outside."

"Why?"

"For some fresh air…?"

"How come? Everything okay?"

**Maddie: **_**"What the heck! Lena can go tell people she wants fresh air and no one asks her why but when I use that excuse I get questioned? It's not cool!"**_

"Errr yeah, I'm fin- I mean everything's fine! Just go back to whatever it was you were doing!" Agent 1 smacked his hand to his forehead. It turns out his partner was not a very good liar. There's no way anyone would buy that – she sounded totally unconvincing!

"If you say so! Come hang out when you get back in!" chorused through the room. Agent 1 had to slap his forehead again in disbelief.

Agent 2 took advantage of being known and took loud steps to ensure the cover up of her partner's sneaking. They had made it to the door and snuck out and she closed it tightly. Mission part I: Escape Outside complete.

"Sweet!" Agent 2 said. "Now we just gotta find yo-"

"Chris, don't tell me you're violating your contract by taking a contestant on an unauthorized date!"

Agent 1and 2 were met with a blinding light courtesy of the camera crew. "What the hell?" he asked. "Since when do you care about whether or not I violate my contract?"

"Since we got lawyers to tell us we get screwed if you do!"

Agent 1 muttered a few choice words about his contract and sighed at Agent 2. "Rain check on the club I guess."

She shrugged, smiling brightly. "It's all good, Chris. but the sneaking _was_ kind of fun… we should do that again sometime!"

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**Part III: Clean Rooms, Dark Knights – Lea Jenson**

Spray, let sit, scrub, spray again, wipe. Moving over an inch, she repeated the job that had been unofficially bestowed upon her their second day here: cleaning lady. It wasn't as if she wanted to go around with a bottle of window cleaner and a roll of paper towels until every room sparkled, but she had to. Either the girls didn't care about the messes, didn't notice them, or were just really bad at the art of sanitizing. Sure some girls offered a helping hand, but for some reason she'd just shake them off and tell them she could handle the situation herself as if this was the right thing to do.

Though they'd probably do it wrong anyway.

The current project Lea was working on was the living room. It was shocking to find it in such disarray, especially since she had intended to go out and read a book by the poolside in a rather nice spot she had grown fond of and _not_ clean. After all, she had made sure every room in the mansion was dust-free and smelling of cleaning supplies before going to bed the previous night. However it was obvious as she was passing by that something had happened from then until this very moment – and by the looks of it, it must have been something _horrible_.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A blur of color sped down the hallway and halted as soon as it was in front of Lea. The blur stopped shaking long enough to look like Nina only something was missing… "I CAN'T FIND MY BEANIE!" she cried. "_Please_ tell me you've seen it around! I've been tearing the house apart looking for it!"

If only the dramatic damsel knew just how bad of a statement that was to say in front of the now extremely aggravated Lea. With her chocolate coated eyes still stuck on the catastrophe in the living room, Lea asked a question she wasn't too sure she wanted to hear the answer to. "Did you… perhaps… check the living room?"

Nina blinked. "The wha- oh! You mean this room here? Heh, sorry there are so many rooms I don't know which one's which! But yeah, I did already and no luck finding it!"

Lea felt her eyes thin and saw red. "_Oh really?_"

Nina suddenly felt the Fight-or-Flight reflexes tingling. "He-hey, Lea, I'm going to go now… I'm just getting bad vibes and, um, yeah… tell me if you see it…" Nina shivered and raced down the hall, shouting for everyone to put an Amber Alert for her beanie was missing and everyone knows a beanie is the equivalent to a child in this day and age.

After a moment of composing herself, she went back up to the library and gave her book a sad look as she put it back on her couch. She considered taking her bathing suit off and changing, but she decided that cleaning shouldn't take that long and changing would be a waste of time. She went down to the ever familiar cleaning closet to gather her cleaning arsenal and transported them to the living room where she was now cleaning windows.

Spray, let sit, scrub, spray again, wipe.

Chris, who had decided on getting a snack to munch on as he watched his current favorite movie for some inspiration on challenge ideas, stopped at the exact same location that Lea had right outside the living room. Only it was the mess that made him freeze– it was the sight of a girl wiping down glass in a one piece.

"Is there a reason you're cleaning my windows in a bathing suit?" Chris wondered aloud, stretching an eyebrow up into his bangs.

Lea paused and turned her head over a bit to nod at Chris. "Good morning, Chris. And yes, there is a reason."

"That would be…"

"Because it isn't humanly possible to look for something missing and not mess entire rooms up and somehow manage to dirty windows." Was the bitter answer he got as Lea scrubbed just a bit harder – not that much, but enough to notice.

He gave her back a smug smirk. "I didn't know you were a maid. I'm guessing this show and all the luxuries it offers must be off the hook for you, right?"

She didn't look at him, but answered all the same. "No, it isn't. I'm not a maid outside of this house." She considered telling him she was finically well off, but it was impolite to bring up so she kept her mouth shut and moved to the next window.

"Riiiiight." He went down the hall with his shoes clicking against the shining tiles and Lea had thought she had seen the last of him. Once she had the seven massive windows streak-free and spotless, she went over to start arranging the seat cushions when Chris reappeared by the door holding a vitamin water and a few bags of assorted chips and snacks. "Still hard at work I see – by the way, I hope you plan on going back over to the windows because they look _really_ _bad_ from here. Can't even see out of them."

She tightened her grip on the current cushion she was lifting off the floor. "They're fine, Chris."

He shook his head. "No, no – they're real marked up." She turned to examine them but couldn't see anything wrong with her beautiful windows so she turned back to her work. "If you take a break and come back to it, I think you'll notice it."

"Thank you, but no thank you." She gestured to the mess. "I still have my work set up for me."

"Wait – did you just turn me down?" No answer. "And don't you owe me a talk at least? You promised it on your date that we'd have one after elimination and I want to use that time now to _not_ talk."

She didn't want to leave the mess, but a deal is a deal. "Fine, Chris, you have my rapt attention. What do you want to do?"

Her agreement made his smile shine as he whisked over and led her out down hallway after hallway. "I was going to check out a flick, but it's so much better to watch it with someone else. And seeing how you don't talk much, I figure it'll work out for both of us."

Movie…? Lea's eyes brightened. "Which movie will we see?"

"Dark Knight."

"Really? That's one of my favorite movies – the other being Batman Begins. So many excellent performers and the dialogue only makes it that much better, don't you think so? The special effects are also superbly done, of course, but I believe that they have very little to do with whether or not a film will be successful seeing how it is their jobs to make it believable. The dire-"

"Whoa!" Chris slung an arm around her shoulder and brought her face to his chest to get her quiet. "So it's not that you're quiet per say it's just that it takes certain things to get you going. Go figure." He pushed her forward into another living room and they collapsed down on the sofa side by side. Chris clicked a few buttons on his remote and the movie was just starting when –

"CC!" Krissy came from seemingly nowhere and pounced onto the host, making sure to give Lea a nasty glare. Lea was about to leave when a few girls roaming by the open door noticed Chris and filed in to watch the action of Batman with him.

After Chris shoved Krissy off his lap (he had to settle for her cuddling his arm instead) he looked over at Lea. She lost her excited glow she had as she was animatedly talking about the movie and the happy daze she went into as the movie started and looked indifferent. Sure she was watching the movie, but she didn't look like she was enjoying it as much. Chris didn't know whether to smirk or frown, so he opted to ignore it. It's not like it's his fault she's upset for whatever the reason was (though he had a feeling he knew, there's no telling with Lea).

After the last of the credits rolled off the top of the screen, Chris flicked the movie off and everyone was gushing about it and talking over their favorite scenes. Lea decided to make her move and escape back to the living room. If she got done soon, she'd have plenty of time to finish her book.

She backtracked all the way to the living room and opened the doors and saw something she defiantly wasn't expecting.

"Sweet." Lea turned her head up a bit and noticed Chris. "Looks like the pros are better than you are, huh? But don't let it get you too down – I'm sure you have other talents."

Lea looked between the room and Chris, who was walking up the stairs to his room no doubt. "Why?" she asked slowly.

"Because you had marks on all my windows. I had to get my professionals in here or else risk this place looking like _crap_ on _national television_ – never good for ratings, babe."

Lea smiled as he walked up the steps. She had a feeling he didn't do it because of her 'crap' cleaning and to rid his windows of non-existent marks. She also knew it would be pointless to state this aloud – he'd just deny it. "Thank you." She didn't see him smirk, but she knew he did.

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**Part I Continued…**

Shelly decided she didn't like helicopters.

As it was taking off it swayed a bit and the sudden rush of altitude climbing wasn't comforting on the stomach – especially a stomach filled with Chef's recipes. She didn't want to screw up her date though, so she tried to control the sickening twists and knots in her stomach and start a conversation. "HOW ARE YOU?" she shouted over the spinning blades of the helicopter.

Chris hadn't heard her and sat tight with a sick smile on his face.

"I SAID HOW ARE YOU?" she shouted louder. He heard her, but not what she said. He pointed to his ears and cocked a brow.

"_I SAID_-" the helicopter sharply turned to the side and Shelly lost her stomach – and the contents within them – all over an unsuspecting Chris.

Oh. Crap.

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**Part IV: Laundry – Dawn Payne**

"Wow." Dawn whistled out at the large, high-tech looking washer and dryer that were set side by side. They were the largest she'd ever seen and had more buttons and screens than a cell phone. She put her laundry basket down and went to go open the washer and read the instructions – they were always on the inside of the lid – but found nothing of the sort.

"Why do rich people have to make everything so _complicated_?" she wondered aloud irritably, snapping the washer lid shut. She was personally used to going to the local Laundromat back home when she needed to take care of cleaning her clothes. But now, she was forced to resort to… this…

"Doing my laundry for me, eh?" Dawn looked over at Chris, who came down with an empty laundry basket with the exception of one large, fluffy looking towel. On cue the dryer beeped to signal the clothes inside it were warm, fresh, and ready for action.

"No," she said honestly. "I'm here to do mine, but I don't know how to work these. Care to show me?"

He shrugged. "I'll just do it, though FYI the maids I got will take care of it." He took her laundry and tossed it in the washer with his towel. She blushed at the mention of maids doing her 'dirty' work – she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She'd never had anyone take care of her laundry after she hit ten and her mom made sure she could do it for herself. "I thought you'd be able to figure it out yourself to be honest."

"How come?"

"Your glasses – I thought people who wore glasses were smart to at least some degree."

**Dawn: **_**"Viewing public, please do not be so ignorant as my housemates are – don't judge a book by its cover, likewise don't judge a person by their glasses!" A cameraman said that he'd expect someone with glasses to say something righteous like that and she huffed.**_

Chris went over and unloaded his own clothes into his empty basket. A pair of lacy, pink somethings whisked out of the basket without him noticing and to the floor. Dawn glared pointedly at it. "What is that?"

Chris 'Hmmm?"ed and looked down at the intrusive item. "Oh, they're my ex's. Why, you like them or something?" She glared. "I'll take that as a no… well then did you need to buy some? Cuz I'll hook you up so long as I get to approve of your purchases via seeing you try them on… I have your best interests at heart you know… wait, Dawn – where are you going?! I was KIDDING!"

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**Part V: Photo Op – Audrey 'Al' Lovett**

Al was doing one of the things she liked to do in her spare time when she wasn't hanging out with anyone: listen to her iPod and daydream.

Things were going smoothly until she noticed Chris swoop in and come straight over to her. She paused her music and sat up straight. "Hey Chris, what's up?"

"I need to borrow you quick," was the only answer he provided. He grabbed a hold of her wrist and pulled her up into his chest. Her head got light and thoughts went fuzzy and she wasn't expecting it when he turned to the door and dragged her behind him. He kept a firm grip on her (which she was very well aware of) as he led her up to one of his private territories – his bedroom.

**Al: **_**"… He's taking me… to his room and we barely talked yet. Is he going to… make a move or something?"**_

He shut the door and spun her around to face him. She felt dizzy as he looked at her seriously. "You can help me, right?"

She nodded, not sure what she was helping with exactly. She got a feeling of what it was as he took his shirt off in one swift movement. Al was now staring at the sexy, rock-hard and shining pecs, six pack, and a nice bit of definition that led into his loose jeans. It was ten thousand times worse than Justin – it was _blinding_.

"Chris, I barely you know you!" she mustered up the courage to say, turning away.

"So? I've done this plenty of times before. No big deal." She blushed with embarrassment and resentment. He had brought girls to his room and cornered them like this _before_?

"Then you don't need me," she quipped and made a move to leave when he stuffed a familiar object in her hands – a camera.

"I hearsay that you are a photographer," he said bluntly. "And my Facebook and MySpace needs some new pictures. Could you offer your expertise?"

"You want me to take pictures of you shirtless…. In your room?" he nodded and she took the camera. "What the heck," she said offhandedly, taking the camera and flicking it on. "As long as I get to keep one."

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**Part VI: Roxanne y Chris bailar el tango – Roxanne 'Roxie' Beadford**

The floor was a mirror made of polished light wood. Roxie could see the reflection of the lights that were scattered around the dark red walls, the windows, the stereo, the dance beams – the room itself had a romantic lure. It didn't hurt that it was a dance studio either. (Why Chris had one she didn't know or question).

She subconsciously looked down to see her own reflection leaning in at her in the wood flooring.

Her black midnight colored waves were curled and sprayed into a secure yet stylish bun that she was very proud to have done all her own without the help of any of the girl's who were hairstylists. Though she usually went light when it came to makeup, her lips were coated with a shimmering dark rouge that complimented her cinnamon skin and her azure eyes were flared up with a thin outline of a sleek, starry black. It was the same makeup she'd apply before hitting the stage for a performance – not cheap but alluring.

Her eyes then skimmed down to her outfit. She laughed as she recalled a conversation she had the other day with Maddie and Lauren, who claimed she belonged in a Spanish music video and that this was agreed with by many of her housemates. If they'd see her now, they would really think they were onto something; she replaced her jeans and tee for a low cut, low-back black halter dress that slipped over her curves and cut off just a finger tip above the knees. It was complimented with a the highest and finest black leather heels she owned as well as a pearl necklace and earring set that was dear to her.

The door was flung open and she took a breath before standing up straighter and turning her eyes on the room's intruder: Chris. He was in his usual day tripping outfit when he came in and he simply let the door close behind him as he took a few steps in.

Roxie studied his expression and wasn't too pleased to see him looking annoyed. She wasn't one to dig for affectionate looks and sleazy compliments, but she went all out to make sure she could finally make a connection and look her damn best for it and there he was with his brows tugged down over his half-lidded eyes and his lips tight.

"I don't know how you did it," he said. "Krissy promised to leave me alone and keep Nina off my case if I came here. What did you do?"

"I asked her," Roxie admitted honestly. Krissy readily – though a bit scornfully – agreed to help the closest thing to a friend she had if only for a little while.

Chris smirked, but his brows were still furrowed. "What a drag, I was hoping to here that you tied her up or something until you got your way." Finally, his eyes did a fleeting skim over her. "So now that you got me trapped here…" he trailed off, raising his eyes up to hers, "what do you think you can get away with?"

"Quiero enseñarle el tango," she said simply, wearing his signature smirk on her dark lips as she ushered him to join her in the middle of the room. "I will teach you the tango."

His once progressing footsteps backtracked a bit. "Ya- _no_. Don't think so."

"¿Tienes miedo?" she mischievously quipped. "Are you afraid?"

"Not a bit," he countered. "_No en absoluto_."

"You know some Spanish," she said amused.

"I know enough to say what I need to get said. For example, the next thing I will tell you." He stood rigid and crossed his arms. "No hay ninguna manera estoy bailando, chica."

Roxie sighed melodramatically. "I see, that's fine then. Debido a esto no voy a hacer todo bebidas más tarde."

"What do you mean you won't do drinks later? You mean I have to twirl around in order to get you to make me one?" She nodded and smirked. Truth be told, he could always make his own or have someone (preferably not Chef) make him one, but he was a bit interested in what the Mexican beauty had in mind. Besides, the tango could be beneficial to know –he could always end up on that celebrity dancing show or maybe try to go back to ice skating and the moves could be done on ice.

"Whatever." He walked over to her and stared at the stereo. "Hit the music."

She nodded and clicked over to the stereo, hit play, and clicked her heels back over. "Now the tango is a dance of seduction – you want your partner to feel seduced. If they don't you're doing something wrong."

"Sure," he said sarcastically, not believing it for a second.

She took a small step forward and pushed her torso against his. She grabbed his right hand and placed in on her lower back and clasped his free hand in hers and made their elbows bend. She placed her left hand on the crook of his neck and looked up at him. "This is starting position. Since your hand is at my back, this indicates that you are the leader in this dance."

"Mhmmh."

The music kicked to life and as soon as the first beat came up Roxie was moving forward and Chris instinctively backed up. "Pretend I'm a mirror and do as I do," she instructed as she swayed and stepped back and forward. Chris felt like a slinky as he tried to keep up with her. It wasn't too hard since he was lucky enough to have a knack for stuff like this. Still he felt like he wasn't really the 'leader' and thought that he needed to one-up Roxie soon or else he would have to save his pride and bolt.

She tightened her hands and spun them clockwise a bit then shifted a bit on their feet and finished the spin.

"You're a natural!" Roxie complimented. "Have you don't this before? You seem more rusty than inexperienced."

He gave her a blank look. "No, I haven't."

She tried to hold her laugh, but it was too much and she let it ring out over the music. It was so obvious Chris was mad that she was better at this than him. He should know that this feeling was pointless and she _was_ a dance instructor, but it was too humorous!

"Ya know," he growled, not enjoying her teasing giggles, "if I have to put up with these dance moves, I think I should be able to throw my own in."

She cut her laughs, but her eyes were still bright with the afterglow of the funny emotions associated with a ticked off dance partner. Chris' glower lightened up and his brows went loose. They just danced for a while – they weren't too sure how long – until he was good enough to lead them with ease. When the track ended, Roxie sighed to herself and reluctantly pulled away – a deal was a deal and now she owed him some drinks. She was a bit surprised when she was pulled back in.

"I don't know if I liked that."

Her face got hot with anger at hearing his opinion on one of her favorite dance routines. "You seemed to like when we were doing it," she countered heatedly.

"That can be debated." He took the hand on her lower back and slid it to her hip bone and let it trace the stitches in her dress until it got to the cut. He felt her thighs and leaned his forehead against hers. Not having had such contact like that for quite some time, she felt overdriven with too many impulses and thoughts. It didn't help when he looked up at her with his eyes all dark like that.

He took his other hand from her hold and pressed it against the back of her neck, twining her free curls in with his rough fingers. "It was such a tease-dance. I couldn't do much with my hands."

She would have laughed if he hadn't _moved_ his hands already. Still she managed to confidently say, "You didn't feel teased – you felt seduced."

He used the hand on her neck to angle the corner of her mouth up to his lips. "What about you?" he asked, letting his breath strike against her warm skin. "Do _you_ feel seduced?"

She shut off all common sense and did a simple nervous move – she licked her lip. Her tongue brushed against his cheek and her groaned. She gasped when she realized how close they really were and how close he was getting to her. She wanted to kiss him. She took her free hands up to his neck and pushed his head closer to hers, but she felt him shake her off and move away.

"What a rep I've got," he said bitterly to himself more than Roxie. His burning eyes touched hers in a stare down.

"What's wrong?" she asked seriously, struggling to keep any sign of worry (was she on Krissy and Nina's level to him?) or rejection from biting her tone.

"Nothing. I just…" he looked at her dark lips. How come he felt like kissing her would be wrong? Like he should respect her more and wait for a better time? What the hell kind of thoughts were these anyways?

"I think I understand." He looked up hopelessly at her, never feeling more unlike himself. She walked to the door and slung it open. "Let's go get those drinks now."

His usual twisted yet confident smirk took shape and he slung an arm over her shoulder. "Sure thing – just keep sporting that and I think I'll even stay for seconds."

**

* * *

**

**Part VII: Because Chef's Food Sucks – Tawni Fernix**

Chris smiled at the most beautiful thing he'd seen all day – _food_. He had been hard at work all day and hadn't had a chance to eat breakfast but now it was lunch, he went over to his mini fridge, snuck some quality time with the microwave, and was now huddled over an assortment of lunch time treats on his desk. He was feeling glad he suggest Chef go for a swim and bother the girls. So now not only did he get to eat good food but he got to watch Chef torment the scantily clad ladies – life just worked out so well sometimes.

As he brought one of the steamy treats to his mouth, he thought he saw Tawni make eye contact from below, but shrugged it off and assumed she couldn't possibly know he was munching on such delicious goodness from way down there.

He was proved wrong in precisely three point two seconds when his locked door flung open and Tawni was eyeing his food with the same intense sparkle he had.

Oh no.

"What do you think you're doing…? HEY THAT'S MINE!" Tawni couldn't resist running over and taking a mouthful of a creation straight from the angels: _Hot Pockets_.

"Wow, this is way better than Chef's Daily Surprise," Tawni said, chewing slowly to savor the taste and sitting on the floor in front the desk, bringing a plate down in her lap. Chris scoffed.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Eating your food," she answered simply, taking another bite.

"Why? Chef feeds you!"

"Yeah, he feeds us crap." She looked away and he arched a brow and slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Wait a second – dude, did you tell off Chef's food? The other day?" She didn't answer and took another bite. "Oh, so you haven't eaten since yesterday morning when Chef got into a fight with you! Yeah, he was pissed alright – he came up to bitch to me about how you should be sent packing. He's not a fan of you at all right now."

She looked down at the first food she'd had and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, someone needed to tell him he can't cook. Everyone complains but no one says anything! It's ridiculous!"

"Fer sure – hey, now where are you going?"

Tawni had put the plate back on his desk and was walking out, stuffing the remaining end of her lunch in her mouth. "Leaving! If Chef wants me gone, I guess you do then too since your tight."

She was a bit startled to hear him laugh hysterically. "Yeah right – me listen to Chef about a hot girl wanting some decent food! To hell with that. Chef's a cool brah and all, but I get the final say, got it?" She smirked and nodded sharply. "Good. Now come over here and eat this Chef-free crap with me, 'cuz I think I made too much to eat by myself…."

**

* * *

**

**Part I Continued…**

Shelly discovered that Chris always had a load of outfits tucked away in his helicopters (why she wasn't too sure, but she was too embarrassed to ask). After leaving the man identified as the sky-diving coach to take care of Shelly, Chris had gone to change with a sour expression that could only be described as pissed off.

All the day dreams Shelly had of her date with Chris going well went down the tube and she felt a wave of depression. She never got motion sickness – what was the meaning of this?

"It's common to get sick on a helicopter," the coach assured her. "Even more so if it's your first time."

Once Chris emerged, she was ready to apologize when a toothbrush, water bottle, and toothpaste tube, and bucket was thrusted at her. He made a motion for her to brush her teeth and as soon as she opened her mouth he bolted over to his seat. She sighed and wondered how she was supposed to turn things around… she was also wondering how he happened to have so much stuff with him.

**

* * *

**

**Part VIII: Political Parties – Katroina Geddes**

"Hey Chris, I was just wondering if you could answer me something I've been wondering."

Chris was hanging out with all the girls by the pool area, but Katroina, who was sitting beside him on the poolside, had captured his attention. "Shoot."

She turned over and gave his a piercing look. "I wanted you to tell me what political party you're affiliated with." He blinked and some girls agreed it was a good question and leaned in while others yawned. "You see, since you're a celebrity with a lot of influence, I'm curious to know what views you hold knowing your decisions will impact _so many_."

"My political party?" he repeated, earning him an affirmative nod. "Right, yeah, I don't have one of those."

If she was drinking something, now would be the time she'd spew it out. "What do you mean you don't have a political party you associate yourself with?!" she shouted out with wide eyes and a horror-struck expression.

He arched a brow and subconsciously back up a bit. "Er, I mean I don't have a political party, just like I said… yo, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Everyone has a political party!" she mumbled to herself, ignoring him. "If you have an opinion about _anything_ there's something out there for you! You must have some strong opinions about something, right?"

He shrugged laxly. "Not really."

"_Not really_?"

"Fine what's your political party?" he asked jeeringly.

"I'm in the Green Party," she answered within a split second. Lena cheered from the other side of the pool.

"Ah," he looked at the leering look Katroina gave him and smirked. "How about I just go start my own political party?"

He meant it as a joke, but her eyes went bright. "Really? What would it be called? What would it be like?"

"Well… since I'm important to me and the world, I think it would be The Maclean Party – countless slogans and logos are already coming to mind here. And the party would be comprised of people who think I'm as awesome as I do."

Katroina dropped her enthusiasm and shook her head. "Sounds more like a cult."

"Yeah, I already got one of those. I wonder why they didn't make me a political party already…?"

**

* * *

**

**Part IX: Hide Out – Charlie Denvers**

"CHARLIE!"

Charlie and Al, who had been chatting away about preferred bands, stopped the second the horribly familiar cry echoed into the library. The girls knew who it was – Nina. The Damsel had made Charlie her go-to protector and fairy godmother since day one and went after the columnist with the most ludicrous of problems and complaints.

"Charlie," Al said. "I think she has a crush on you."

Charlie bit her lip and hoped beyond hope that Al was just joking – her sarcasm and serious tone were hard to tell apart.

"Why don't you just go hide out in Maddie, Lauren, and Roxie's room for a bit since it's the only door that has a lock besides a bathroom – and who wants to hide on a toilet? Just wait out Hurricane Nina there and come down when it passes. I'll even cover for you."

Charlie shook her head. "No, no… that would be mean…"

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Al gave her friend an all-knowing smirk. "Change your mind yet?"

"Well…"

"CHARLIE! WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU? KRISSY IS BEING MEAN TO ME!"

Oh no – Krissy was dragged into the equation? "Just this one time!" Charlie caved and bolted through the door and up the first flight of stairs. The sobbing Nina spotted her and started to amble up the steps with a ticked off Krissy shouting obscenities at her back. Charlie went for the left hallway and raced to the safe room when she discovered it was locked.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

In sheer panic, Charlie dove for the door across the hallway and slammed it shut, locking it as soon as she could. Her stress slipped away as she heard Nina and Krissy's shouts and pounding footsteps come and go. She pressed her palm to her forehead and turned to lean against the door with her eyes shut to enjoy the feeling of relief.

The relief swapped back with stress when she felt a body lean back against the door beside her. She looked over – and up – to see Chris in the same position she was, giving her a cocky smirk. "Didn't know you were a Ninaphobe."

"I'm not!" Charlie argued. "I have no problem with her! I just -"

"Totally bailed on her and locked yourself in _my_ room."

Charlie blinked and looked around. "Your room?" It wasn't at all like she was expecting. She thought it would be larger than it actually was, but it was a comfortable size of a normal bedroom. In fact, she thought that the room across the hall might have been larger. It had plain light grey walls, light grey carpet, a window and two doors on the side wall. He had a desk crammed in the corner with a high-tech computer, a large screen television in his wall – oh, and the largest bed she'd ever seen in her life. Can't forget that.

She didn't say anything, so he shrugged and walked back over to his desk. "Aren't you going to call Nina in on me?" Charlie wondered aloud. He did get pleasure from torturing people after all – what exception could she possibly be?

"Nah, don't feel like having that head case around. Especially if KK's fired up at her. I'll let you hide out in here but just remember _you owe me one_."

Charlie got chills, but had no choice but to nod as she heard the destructive duo stomp back down the hall outside the door again. Then it hit her – now was her time to talk to Chris one on one! Why would she want to leave?

"There's something I don't understand," she said slowly, watching him carefully as she sat on a corner of his bed closest to his desk.

"What's that?" His eyes were trained on whatever he was typing, but this did little to deter her.

"I just don't get what your views on relationships and getting physical are." He stopped and turned to her, his head tilted. She giggled as she realized for that he did this whenever he asked a question, so this must be his confused face. Her laugh made him more perplexed so she elaborated. "I mean Krissy and Nina are lusting after you non-stop and yet you push them away. Don't you like them and if not why don't you just eliminate them then? And if so than why did you let Lena kiss you if you won't let them?"

He smirked dangerously at her and she suddenly felt nervous. "Why do you care so much?"

"I want to know," she said as if it should have already been obvious to him.

He looked her up and down slowly and she frowned, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. "I don't think I'll tell you."

"What? Why?"

"I don't _have_ to, that's why."

She sighed and decided it would be pointless to even try anything else. He'd probably just keep up his immature prodding until she cracked for his amusement. She leaned back comfortably on the bed, and let her legs dangle from the sides. Every so often she heard a shriek from Nina and cure from Krissy that would convince her to stay longer. When it had been fifteen minutes and no sound of any disturbance, Charlie was ready to get up when – just like before – a body came down beside her.

"Alright, one question at a time Miss Advice Columnist."

Charlie turned her head and nose collided with Chris' chest. She bent her head up on the blankets to see his arms sprawled on either side of him (his right arm was just above her head) and his eyes shut as if trying to take a break from whatever he was working on.

She didn't believe for a second she'd get a straight answer from him, but she attempted to ask again all the same. "Why don't you let Krissy kiss you?"

He laughed, but this laugh sounded different from his other ones. Just how she couldn't really tell, because he stopped and answered too soon. "She wants to do a lot more than just kiss, Charlie." She scoffed. "Well she does! And I don't let her because I don't want all her makeup on me."

She twisted her brows in confusion. "But I thought you told her on our date you'd _only_ kiss her if she was wearing makeup."

"So? I changed my mind." Her face fell – what a simple answer.

"So do you like her?"

"I guess…" She 'eep!'ed when his hand went under her arm and pulled her up above him so he could lean his cheek on her shoulder. "She's like the type of girls I usually date only way nicer."

"I'd hate to meet one of your exes…"

"That you would."

"What about Nina?"

"She's good for ratings – people like a hysteric, sobbing mess," he admitted coolly.

Charlie shook her head. "Isn't this show about you finding love? If you don't like her, don't mess with her heart like that! You're giving her false hope and being a jerk!"

"Hey, you asked me and I answered, so stop being such a drag. You keep pointing out my flaws and I bet you wouldn't like it so much if I called you out on your crap."

She huffed and went stiff and quiet.

"About Lena," he said despite the cold shoulder she was giving him. "I let her kiss me 'cause I like her. That's all there is to it."

That was it – the conversation killer. "O-oh?" she chewed on her lip. "Well, at least you're not leading _someone_ in this place on."

She shot up off the bed and went to the door, not knowing whether to be hurt or angry or both. She didn't get to spend much time with him – only the date and a few conversations – but it was so strange how betrayed she felt. Maybe it was because she was willing to try for a commitment and he was playing her and all the other girls here.

It wasn't fair.

She unlocked the door and opened it and left the room, feeling bitter and not even caring if she ran into Krissy or Nina or both.

"Hey."

Charlie stopped and turned around to see Chris leaning against the frame of his door with a hand scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, Chris, what is it?"

"You know I like you too, right?"

This was wrong. He was playing her and there was no way she could know whether or not he was doing this to the other girls. She couldn't trust him – he was unfaithful already. This relationship was unhealthy and it didn't even get off the ground yet.

But the way he laughed in his room just then… the way he came over unannounced and honestly talked to her… the way he came out…

"I know now."

* * *

**Part I Continued…**

"You got that?"

The couch had just finished instructing Shelly what she had to do and suiting her up, but she was still a bit nervous. What made it worse was she couldn't see the ground since it was pitch black outside. Whoever told Chris skydiving at night was a romantic date needed to get some psychiatric help.

Shelly nodded. "Got it, dude!" She tried to remind herself that she always wanted to go sky diving and the fact she puked on the hot, rich, and famous guy she was competing for and the fact she couldn't see anything outside the helicopter shouldn't discourage her.

"Alright on 'go' jump out! Ready… Set…"

Her heart skipped when a hand attached to hers. She saw Chris' eyes set in determination and a smile he only wore during the utterly sadistic challenges he had set in place. She suddenly forgot everything else…

"…GO!"

* * *

**Part X: I Got You Eyes! – Victoria 'Vikki' Love**

For a chick, he had to admit: she was off the hook on a skateboard. She could do the best kick flips he'd seen in a while, and he recently hung out with some of the pros.

"Pretty sweet," he commented as she came rolling over to him. "How long you've been a skater girl?"

She shrugged. "Long enough to forget." She smirked and kicked the board up to her hand and slung it on her shoulder. "So do you hit the board?"

"Nah, not my thing," Chris admitted. "I'd rather just kick back and enjoy the show." She nodded, understanding where he was coming from even though she personally didn't really feel that way. She was one who liked to be in on the action.

"Do you know how? I can teach you."

He chuckled darkly. "Pass, it's totally not my thing. And I know a few moves, enough to avoid looking like a poser or anything."

She dropped her board back down and kicked off. "Suit yourself."

She went back to her routine and Chris shook his head. He was too good at persuading and tricking people to fall for a trick like that, but he'd watch her a bit longer at any rate. She looked pretty smokin' on the board after all, which was more than he could say for any of the other skaters he knew – all males.

**

* * *

**

**Part XI: Go Greene – Lena Greene**

"You know, I once heard that there is a star for each star out there for every living thing."

Lena smiled and looked over at Chris, who was leaning on his back beside her on the rooftop by the Helipad of Shame.

She couldn't go to sleep and had wondered up here instead of hanging out with the other night owls , wanting nothing more than to enjoy the fresh air and night sky. She was a bit shocked to see Chris already out there at the spot she was thinking of heading over to. She went over anyways and laid down beside him saying hello. He ignored her altogether – not saying a salutations but not leaving either. They had been silent like that for about an hour until she finally spoke up.

"What made you think up that whacked out theory?" he gibed.

"I said I heard it, not that I thought it up!" she laughed, choosing to make light of his rudeness. Her grassy green eyes lifted back to the sky and she let out a slow breath. "It's nice, I think. Almost like a reassurance that you belong here and we have a purpose."

He said nothing.

"I like taking care of the earth," she continued, not being able to stop herself from dumping all the thoughts she was having onto him. "I like to help the planet because I am concerned we're all killing ourselves. And if we're all gone, there won't be any stars left and the sky would be lonely, you know? And I don't think anyone deserves to be alone." She looked thoughtfully back at him. "No one."

He looked over at her for a ephemeral instant before flicking his gaze back up at the starry sky. "That has to be the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. Did you not take science in school or something? We're all going to die one day whether we take care of this crappy dirt ball or not. It's life, it's exploding suns, it's black holes." He smirked at the thought of the insanity and panic people would feel. "It's unstoppable, it's our fate – we're all screwed."

It was silent, and then he heard laughter. He arched a brow at the sky. "What?"

"I never knew how deep you were!" Lena admired, poking his arm. "Or how depressing. There are people that can help you with that – they're called therapists."

"Riiiight. Tell you what," he propped himself on an elbow and looked down at her, poking her arm for revenge. "The day you go to a therapist is the day I'll go, got it?"

She laughed again as he came back down. She snuggled into his chest and he wrapped the arm closest to her around her shoulders, fitting her against him. "It's a date."

**

* * *

**

**Part 1 Continued…**

"That… was awwwesome."

It was better than awesome: who was he kidding?

It was a charge of fear, control, uncertainty… it was amazing. Shrouded in darkness and falling together. It was all so overwhelming. Chris released his hold on her hand and they separated, him speeding down a bit lower so he could show her when to open her pack. They were lucky it went without flaw. On the way down they said nothing but enjoyed the view of darkness they were flown to. They defiantly weren't in the city anymore.

She landed not-too-gracefully on what she thought was a field and was relieved when Chris came over to help her get out of the bothersome equipment. He helped her up and she followed him to wherever he was taking her.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Limo, then the house."

She frowned; he must not like her because she threw up on him… "Chris, I'm sorry I rui-"

She was pulled into him and his lips crashed on hers, his hands on her wrists and his eyes shut. When she caught onto what was happening, he let go and walked ahead. "I always wanted to do that and it might not seem like much of a date, but I hope you know, it was something sweet to me."

She studied the outline of his face in the lack of light and instinctively curled her fingers around his. "Actually, I thought it was, too. Next time I think we should do it in the city," she joked and laughed. Chris smiled – what a freakin' good idea.

**

* * *

**

**Part XII: Shutdown – Kristina Colmer**

Kristina chewed on her nails after she put the phone back on the receiver and she dropped her forehead into her hands and sighed miserably. "Oh no…"

"What's wrong with you?"

Kristina looked up at Chris and put on a merry expression. "Oh, it's nothing!" He arched a brow and she caved. "Well… it's just the hospital I work at… well…" she shuddered and dropped her head down again. "Someone from work called and told me that the hospital is being closed."

Chris stood. "So?"

Her head shot up. "_So_? What do you mean by _so_?"

"I think we have enough hospitals as it is." He shrugged and took a swig of a drink she noticed he had. "But I mean that's a bummer for your job I guess. Hope you have a backup plan or something."

"Backup plan?" She flew up and narrowed her eyes into slits at him. "I don't care about me! I'm more concerned with the children I taught… the patients that _lived_ there… where will they go?" Her eyes got glossy. "What will happen to them?"

Chris shrugged nonchalantly. "Beats me."

She shook her head. "You don't care about anything but yourself, do you? You – you really are selfish!" she spat vehemently.

He didn't so much as wince. "Eh, I get that from time to time. But rest assured, I do care about other stuff. Just not other people. They're on their own." He tilted his head forward to catch her attention. "What you need to understand is that you can only do so much for people, ya know? Ultimately you need to realize that hey: I'm not these people's hero – or heroine, whatever – and I don't owe them shit. Simple as that."

Tears built on her lashes and fell to her cheeks. "Well… I… I can't think of it like that so easily. I think we need to do what we can to help them…"

He sighed and walked over, slinging an arm around her and leading her out of the phone room. "Yeah, well tough. I don't know what's with you guys in the house here, but all you seem to do is worry about other people. You need to worry about yourselves, got it? Now go away and chill."

He stalked off and left her alone. She bit her lip and raced to the beanie in the game room she slept in, never feeling more abandoned ever before in her life. A few hours later, Dawn knocked on the door. "Kristina? You have a phone call from a friend of yours from the hospital were you work."

Kristina sat up and sniffed, rubbing the heel of her hand to her cheeks. She somehow managed to amble to the familiar phone room and put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Kristina!" the suddenly bright voice sang out. "We just got a large enough donation to save the hospital!"

"How much?" Kristina's eyes widened at the price. "WHOA! Who wo-" Her words got stuck in her throat as she saw Chris walk by with Krissy dangling from his shoulder and he was actually laughing at whatever she had to say.

"_What you need to understand is that you can only do so much for people, ya know? Ultimately you need to realize that hey: I'm not these people's hero …"_

As her friend rambled on, she smiled.

"_I don't know what's with you guys in the house here, but all you seem to do is worry about other people."_

Chris wasn't so selfish.

**

* * *

**

**Part XIII: Fan Site – Nina Patterson**

Nina was the proud operator of the second-largest Chris Maclean fan site in North America.

She sighed dreamily as she stared at the pictures she had of him in the websites Winking Chris Archive – the most visited page of their site. There he was winking at a seventy-five degree angle… oh and there he was winking straight on… oh, and there he was winking and pointing at the camera…

"What's this?" Lauren asked, leaning over the laptop. Where they even allowed to have these…?

"It's my Chris Fansite! This is the closest I can get to him!" Nina boasted.

Lauren gave her a concerned look. "He kinda lives upstairs you know…"

"I know! But he likes to run from me whenever I get too close. I'm not sure why, but I think it means he's playing hard to get… what do you think?"

Lauren didn't really know what to say, but once Nina's eyes started watering she figure it might be in her best interest to just agree for the time being. "Yeah… he's testing your, er, willingness to… fight for him."

With that realization, Nina leapt from her chair and raced up the stairs shouting about how loyal and determined she was to get Chris. Lauren hoped she didn't bring her name up as she chatted the host up about this epiphany… she looked around to see if anyone was around and darted away innocently.

**

* * *

**

**Part XIV: Olympian – Ulli Schmidt**

In _his_ private gym there was some pip-squeak running on _his_ treadmill. This was hard information to process seeing how he has never had this problem before. No one just enters into another man's gym and uses said man's treadmill. That's like using his toothbrush. And no one – _no one_ – uses Chris' toothbrush except Chris. And this logic applies to his gym equipment… and thus _his treadmill_.

"How'd you get in here?" Chris asked as he stood in front of his treadmill with that orange broad running away like she did this all the time. "And who said you could get your sweat all over my stuff?"

The girl brought her golden brown eyes to the dark haired guy who looked more than a bit distraught. She snorted – she knew he was possessive of his stuff but this was a bit ridiculous. "Get lost, I'll pleasure you later."

Chris brought his hands up in horror. "_Pleasure me_? Are you _serious_? If _you_ _pleasure_ me, I think I'd get charged with statutory rape since you sure don't look legal." He scrunched up his nose. "And who says that anyways…?" He shook his head. "Whatever – just get off my crap and go get your own."

She took her sweaty palms under her pits and slapped the body grease onto _his_ treadmill.

"Low blow…" he made a fist and wondered if he would be charged with child abuse if he knocked the young-looking female to the ground and tossed her out the highest window onto a mine field.

"I'm training for the Olympics!" she snarled. "So leave me alone!"

But Chris didn't take defeat so easily. He figured he'd just bring in the professionals to take care of this one for him. He took a few steps outside his door and cleared his throat. "KRISSY THIS ULLI GIRL IS ALL OVER ME AND I'M TOTALLY DIGGIN' IT!"

Within seconds, the black haired temptress-in-training had Orangey by her hair and was dragging her upstairs to do who-knows-what, not that Chris minded – he would get to see the tapes after all, so he wasn't missing much.

He stared at his treadmill in disdain and decided he'd need a new one. And many some new locks wouldn't hurt, either.

**

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**

**Part XV: Constructive Criticism – Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson**

Stormy couldn't handle the anticipation – she had never done something quite like _this_ before. It was driving her mad. The way his long well-kept fingers moved around quickly was absolute torture. What could he possibly be thinking? What was going through his head at that very moment? His eyes were darting around to take in everything and it made her feel even more uncomfortable with herself – she suddenly wished he wasn't so close and the she hadn't taken their relationship to the next level.

"Chris," she said in a shaky voice. "I don't want to do this anymore."

He didn't even look up and just clicked his tongue. "A bit too late for that, don't you think? You asked for this so the least you can do is stop being such a bummer and relax. I'll be done soon enough."

It was killing her. How could he be so heartless? She was obviously upset and she said no. Doesn't that mean anything to him?

She felt something press onto her lap and looked down to see her book she had let him read. "Well?" she asked. "What did you think?"

He smirked, excited to see the reaction his comment would cause. "You have room for improvement. Maybe if you practiced writing a bit more you _might_ be decent."

**

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**

**Part XVI: Challenge Suggestions – Sapphire Caligre**

"I have everything set up for the challenge alright!... It'll be Monday fer sure… Yeah, I considered that… Ah huh… suuuuure.,. I don't think a few explosions will cause _that_ much of an uproar..." Chris rolled his eyes and stowed the phone in his pocket.

"Who was that?"

Chris looked over at Sapphire, who was coming out of the sliding glass door to join Chris by the pool.

"One of The Network big shots," he mumbled miserably. "They're so freakin' paranoid that the bombs won't be here in time for our next challenge but the guys we go to never let us drag before." He sighed and looked back at Sapphire, who's eyes went wide and glazed over. He assumed the worst and smirked. "What – you're scared of a few explosives?"

She shook her head shyly and turned away with a blush on her face, saying something softly that Chris couldn't hear. "Wanna try that again?"

Her cheeks were burning red as she struggled to make eye contact and not turn away. "I said I liked it when you got violent in your challenges! The mines, the explosions – the adrenaline rushes I got while watching TDI and TDA were _incredible_. In fact, I think you're holding back too much."

Chris would be lying is he said he wasn't a bit taken back by the answer and sudden confidence the quiet girl acquired, but he wasn't about to be caught off-guard. "You think I'm holding back?"

"It's so obvious that you are! You need more action, more weapons – I think you should have cage matches. One on one fights to the death or like a war of bloody epic proportions and – and –"realizing what she was saying aloud, she clasped her hands over her face and froze in embarrassment. Her sadism was showing… she had done so well to hide it and now she blew it.

Noticing her awkwardness, Chris reveled a bit before walking over and leaning down to make eye contact with her. Her fingers were still twined together and acting as a muzzle over her mouth, but her eyes found him just fine.

"I'll keep those ideas in mind." He winked. "Much appreciated."

**

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**

**Part XVII: I Kinda Don't Like You – Isabelle 'Bell' Marley**

"Chris, I need to tell you something."

Chris had managed to escape the hormonal cravings of Krissy, so he found no problem in chilling out for a bit with someone who was normal. "What?"

"I… kinda don't like you." Chris just stared, looking more bored than dejected. "I mean I like you as a friend, but I only did this show to do something exciting with my life. But I mean I… feel bad and I feel like I'm using you and I'm not that type of person, so I just wanted to let you know!"

"Not like I really care about your feelings, but did you _really_ think I didn't know already?" he asked flatly, pointing at the camera crew. He honestly could care less if she liked him: just as long as she liked her looks, which according to the recent conversation she had with a few girls, she did.

"Oh," Bell said. " I forgot about them…"

**

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**

**Part XVIII: The Secrets Out!... Sort Of – Lauren Russ**

After the last note of her song had graced the heavy, smoky air, Lauren stepped out of the shower with a chipper smile as she danced to the nest random song to pop into her head. Her and a few of the girls – Maddie, Roxie, Lena, Al, and Charlie – had all danced around last night to Al's songs that she hooked to a portable speaker. Ever since then she'd been dancing and singing to her heart's content all over the house. It was so much fun to live with such cool people!

She reached over to the towel rack and took the fluffiest towel on it off and faced the wall with her back to the door and snuggled her face into it. She breathed the vanilla scent in and sighed at the wonderfully addicting scent – whatever Chris used on his laundry was _magic_. Hmmm… she wondered if he smelt the same… she hadn't been close enough to really tell…

The door opened and she jumped a bit and turned around, expecting to have Maddie or Roxie come in for something (they did share the bathroom after all). What she wasn't expecting was to see Chris come waltzing in like he owned the place – oh wait, _he did_.

"Ch-Chris?" Lauren flipped around, not quite comfortable with the fact Chris got an eyeful at the shining wet, exposed skin from the tips of her hair to the heels of her feet. Oh geeze….

He arched a brow and held his hand out. She was confused. What the hell was he doing?

"The towel," he said. "It's _mine_ and belongs in my bathroom, not yours. I came to steal it back."

Lauren's eyes dropped to the only defense she had against the womanizing host. They glazed over and her lip quivered. "But it feels so nice! And the smells great! By the way – what detergent do you use?"

"Actually, Dawn used her stuff." Chris leaned in curiously and walked over to take a handful of the towel and brush it against his nose. She bit back a squeak. "Not bad at all."

Her embarrassment lit her face up to the shade of holly as he captured the towel into his grip from her lax and unsuspecting fingers. She clapped her arms to censor herself, but he had already turned around and shut the door. She shook from the cold skin and wondered one thing: what the heck just went down…?

The door reopened but she didn't see Chris, only heard him. "By the way – feakin' sweet tattoo you're sporting." Her face got hotter. "What's it of? I didn't get a good look." She had done such a good job at hiding her tattoo just above her backside too… she kept quiet and grabbed another towel to cover herself up. It was quiet then… "Whatever. I'll find out eventually."

She blanked – what did he mean by _that_?

**

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**

**Part XIX: Use to the Abuse – Serenity Brandon**

Serenity shook her head dismally. "It was the darkest day of my life…"

"Tell me all about it," Chris said softly, giving her his rapt attention.

"Well… it started out like every ordinary day had, I suppose. But as soon as I arrived in the classroom I had this bad, bad feeling like something was going to happen. Something bad."

"Uh-huh… keep goin'…"

She smiled at Chris – who'd thought he was so caring? "Well, the students I had that year were more difficult to deal with than I was used to. They did the most twisted pranks. Anyways, that day was the worst by far."

"It's okay – just tell me what happened, exactly how it happened."

"Thanks, Chris. It's nice to know you care." She looked up at him to give him an appreciative look and a smile to know he was doing right by her when she noticed a pen and paper in his hands. She pointed down at them, giving them a strange look. "Uh, Chris, what are those for…?"

"What? _These_?" She nodded and crossed her arms.

He gave her a charming smile and said in his most enticing of voices, "Well, just in case I forget what you tell me. I want to make note of the horrible, _horrible_ things your students have done to you – those sneaky and conniving little _bastards_."

She looked at him quizzically feeling honestly confused. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm sure they'd make wonderful, _wonderful_ challenges."

**

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**

**Part XX: Top Three – Kristen 'Krissy/KK' Moore**

**Krissy: **_**Glares at camera. "I have, like, sooooo many people on my shit list right now. I even had to make a top three to know who to try and get kicked off first out of them all! I mean, they're all so annoying how could I not?" A camera man asks her to elaborate. "Well, in position three is Nina, who freakin' cries over everything – and I mean everything."**_

Chris was stuck listening to Nina as she stalked him up to his room. She didn't seem to notice the way he cringed every time her mouth opened or how he had said, "Shut up," every time she stopped to take a breath. Krissy, being the saintly do-gooder that she is, decided to help a friend out.

"Nina!" Krissy roared like the princess she thought she should be. "You dropped your beanie."

"WHAT?" Nina's hands flew to her head and groped for the black material. "Hey, I didn't-"

Krissy pushed her aside and squeezed up against Chris. "Hey CC. How about we ditch the stalker and hide in your room?"

Nina burst into tears, feeling rejected by Chris since he let himself get taken so easily like that. With her face a salty mess she sprinted off into the other direction. Chris pointed. "I better go make sure she doesn't flood the house – you wait for me _right_ here."

Krissy never nodded so vigorously in her entire life. She waited patiently for Chris to return, not even thinking about how he could just take one of the other four staircases up to his room until she heard a maniac laugh sound off over the speakers.

**Krissy: **_**"In position two I've got Tawni … I shouldn't even have to explain why."**_

She was now ready to present herself to the world. She had on a liquid base, a powder base, tanner powder, blush, eye shadow, more eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, chap stick, lipstick, lip gloss, and to finish it all off she penciled in details to her eye brows.

"Gross." Krissy looked away from the mirror to see Tawni giving her an uneasy look.

"What?" Krissy looked around the bathroom she was in, hoping to not see some insect crawling around.

"You're makeup mask," Tawni said. "Is that stuff as heavy as it looks?"

**Krissy: **_**"And my number one target is someone I'd do ANYTHING to get kicked out. She's just not good for CC at all and she makes me want to get my tubes tied so I don't have to risk ever having a kid like her – just the thought it scary." A cameraman asks her who it is. "Who the hell do you think it is? It's that stupid, bitchy, dumb –"**_

"_Maddie_."

The bleached blond looked up from her runny gob of acidic yellow cut up straw bits (a concoction Chef called 'Macaroni and Cheese') and smiled. "Oh, hey Krissy! Why aren't you sitting with your friends, hmmm?" She brought a finger to her chin and considered this before snapping her fingers. "Oh wait – _you don't have friends_!"

Krissy glared at Maddie with a scowl. Maddie glared at Krissy with a smile.

"Bitch."

"Slut."

Krissy tightened her hold on her tray and gave the eating area a quick sweep and saw everyone had someone to sit with. Even Orangey and The Damsel had people that put up with them enough to eat near them. Krissy hated to admit it, but she went from Queen Bee to Nobody.

Maddie noticed this and sighed, letting her eyes roll. "You like Roxie, right?"

Krissy went back to glaring at her. "She's okay. So what?"

"Well, she's obviously your favorite person in the house," Maddie pressed. "And her and Lauren will be here in a few minutes." Maddie gulped – "You can sit here if you want."

**Maddie: **_**"Please say you don't want to please say you don't want to please say – "**_

Krissy sat down. "I still hate you."

"I bet I hate you more."

* * *

**Part XXI: Getting Even – Leila Claires**

"Babe, you are _so_ hot." He pressed kisses up her neck and mentally cheered himself on. Here he was, a lowly guy with a camera, kissing the best looking girl in the entire place. How lucky was _he_?

"I know," she stated, sounding almost bored. Well, she actually _was_ bored. He wasn't very good at seducing her, but he was dubbed the most wanted guy by all the other girls. So of course she had to spend a night with him and be the envy of them all. If it kept her in the limelight and her name as the name on people's lips, why not go for it?

Her clear, blue-sky colored eyes roved around his cramped trailer. He must not be very rich or important or he would've gotten a larger one, like the one she had. Ow – he just pinched her! Moron… geeze, she just wanted to get this over with… Then her eyes caught the television and stopped.

"Jake, turn it up!" The boy looked up from her shoulder in confusion. She growled and pointed to the TV she frantically. "_Now_." He saw what was on and sighed, but did so anyways. After all, if he ticked her off he wouldn't have a shot at getting in her pants, would he?

"It seems that the number one Bachelor and sadist in Canada, Chris Maclean, is out to get some love," a news broadcaster reported with a smile. "According to The Network, twenty-three girls have been gathered from all over to compete for his affections in the new series, _The Challenges of Love_. Word has it that the first episodes have been filmed recently and the first one will be aired next Friday on Primetime. It's anticipated that this will be one of the highest rated shows _ever_ and that every contestant is bound to have instant star dome. You may have seen his figure skating skills, but Chris Maclean is most famous for hosting the extreme reality show hits such as –"

That's all she needed to hear. She yanked the remote from the scrawny brunette boy, who was desperately trying to get her shirt off, and turned the television off. "That sonovabitch thinks he can go and get a reality show like that after he dumps me? No one gets over Leila Claires! And nobody gets _fame_ from it!"

Jake stood, reeling in utter shock as Leila put her skirt back on and stuck her feet in her designer pumps. "Whoa – you went out with _the_ Chris Maclean? That's so hot –"

"Stick it," she said. She flipped her hair and reapplied her lip gloss in a mirror she whipped out of her purse. "I got some serious work to do if I intend to get even. He thinks he can _dump_ me? Besides, the publicity can't hurt, either."

She turned over to the stunned boy, who was a miserable mess at the sudden rejection. "But you were so into it… you can't just leave!"

"Get over yourself and get acquainted with your hand, loser." She walked out of the trailer and snapped her phone open, waiting impatiently for her manager to pick up. She was going to get revenge. No one broke up with model Leila Claires – _no one_.

Besides, he _must_ be over the fact he caught her cheating on him, right? How long could he hold it against her? After all – it's not like she can turn people down with a body like hers. _That'd be cruel_.

* * *

**Round of applause for CoutneyxDuncan since she made Leila Claires… this has been planned for a while… Hehehe… no oc is safe now! At this point in time I have an army of evil bitches – be afraid.**

**For all those wondering: 'WTF just happened!' at that the end there, allow me to elaborate… Chris' ex (the 'six day' fling) is going to cause trouble. When? Only I know… muahahaha. I think I'm a sadist now… hmm, it feels nice to be one. I should start a club.**

**Other than the ex being brought into the mix, I hope everyone didn't mind the one-shot-ish feel. I just wanted to make it special and easy to find your oc for a quick, refreshing burst of fuzzies. This is a one-time deal, kids. Next chapter we're onto CHALLENGE THREE! Any fluff from here on out is going to be written in.**

**Mind you, these all 'did' happen and are not spin-offs or whatever. They're just between the second challenge (last chapter) and the next challenge (next chapter) so it's about a week when this take place. And I will most definitely reference these, too. Just so you know.**

**Thanks go to: my l-o-v-e-l-y reviewers who make me smile and update as often as I do, everyone who 'favorited/alerted/hit up' me or my fic, and the fangirl teams that seem to be assembling for each oc.**

**Special Thanks go to: One Black Rose (I hope that was sufficient for now XP), Santi48 (Freaking Uh-Maize-Ing Radical Reviewer!), and HowlingWulf (did you find anything lol)**

**Spread the love and review please.**


	8. Bribe and Groom

**The Challenges of Love**

**8. Bribe and Groom**

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**I do not own Total Drama Island/Action or anything related or associated. I also do not own any of the exquisite oc's.**

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_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith_

_-Ladies Left: 20_

* * *

An announcement over the speakers from the smooth voice of the ever narcissistic Chris Maclean had interrupted the ladies' breakfast (well, what Chef called breakfast) to inform them that they to be ready to hit the town and in the entrance hall in an hour's time. Knowing what happened to girl's who weren't ready, everyone was pretty much gathered in a clump in said room with fifteen minutes to spare. They were upset with their decision to be early when Chef came stomping over to them with a pot in his iron grip.

"Form an orderly line! ORDERLY LINE! Do you maggots _not know_ what that _IS_?"

Whether with rolling eyes or sighs, the girls all managed to get in a straight line, staring back and forth skeptically between the pot in Chef's hands and his lazy eye.

"Now one at a time come get a number and put yourselves in the limo outside! You can do that much, right?" The girls blinked expectantly, expecting more orders. Chef's veins bulged at what he assumed to be disrespect. "ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN OR AM I GOING TO MAKE YOU?"

Ulli, who was first in line, narrowed her yellow-brown eyes and dipped her hand into the large pot. She pulled out a slip of paper and let her eyes dart over the number scribbled on it. She opened her mouth to ask what it was for, but was silenced by Chef's beady glare and ugly scowl. She coughed in disgust and sped off.

**Ulli: **_**"He needs to fix that face of his. I thought Chris wanted ratings! How can his cook's face possibly bring in ratings?"**_

This cycle went on for a while, taking a pause when Tawni came up because Chef contemplated even letting her have a paper and go along at all. The two were ready for an altercation to go down when, as if on cue, Chris flew down the staircase. Without much thought he plucked a number from the pot and passed it off to Tawni, leaving the room for his own limo without so much as a word.

**Charlie: **_**"Chris resolved a fight before it even started, meaning he thought about someone other than himself, meaning he isn't egocentric and does care about others!"**_

Chris paused when he was close to the door and stepped back to look at a window. He fluffed his hair up and slid sunglasses into place, did a finger bang at his smirking reflection, and resumed leaving.

**Charlie: **_**"… He would go and contradict what I just said without even knowing it…"**_

Once everyone was packed into the limo (with the windows covered to take any chance at the girls spotting their destination too soon) all the girls whipped their numbers out, but with all the chaos amongst twenty girls in the confined space, no one really figured much out.

"EVERYONE SHUT YOUR FACES!" Krissy snapped. The limo went quiet after a few insults and groans were shared. "Now all the losers on Team One – I dunno, do something."

Five numbers were waved in the air and the girls on the team did a sweep at each other looking more than happy. Lena, Roxie, Shelly, Lauren, and Vikki – not a single 'problem' girl to taint the assumed victory of Team One!

"Kay, now all the losers on Team Two… same thing."

Team Two tickets were raised, with all eyes getting stuck on one particular ticket waving around. It seemed promising at first: Maddie, Al, Tawni, Katroina, and then… Stormy. Their stomachs dropped along with their hopes of winning.

Krissy laughed. "Thank gawd I'm not on _that_ team. Now the winning team three, do the same!" Krissy excitedly waved her number along with Dawn, Lea, Kristina, and Nina. Krissy groaned at the girl with the beanie. "Whatever… I'll bring us up. Any losers left can figure it out yourselves."

Team Four followed suit and Sapphire, Charlie, Ulli, Bell, and Serenity put their hands up.

When they arrived, the girls were – as usual – shocked at their destination. The place they were at was what some would refer to as a 'bit of heaven' or 'proof of some good left in this world.' Though it resembled most other arena-sized angled buildings, something about it made it better than the rest: a billboard that stated that this place was a _mall_.

The girls were quickly escorted to a large double door in what was presumed to be the back parking lot. Chris smirked as the girls came up in front of him looking giddy and excited.

"Welcome to the third challenge!" he declared, flashing a smile. "The name of the game is Can You Give Your Number!" He eyed the girls expectantly. "Now's the time you guys break off into your little groups and what-not." They moved around and waited for him to continue. "Wicked. So anyways, today you're challenge is to go and get _guy's numbers_ or have _your number_ asked for."

"What?" Charlie stepped forward with her brows drawn in. "Do you mean to say that you want us to flirt to get numbers? As in cheat?"

"And the light bulb goes off!" Chris praised. "That is exactly what I want! Though no one said you had to flirt – why limit yourself to just that?"

**Chris: **_**"If I have to have a long-term relationship, I want her to be smokin' to other guys too. What's the point in having a girlfriend if I don't even get to show her off and make other guys feel like the lonely losers they are?"**_

Charlie's eyes darkened as she was pulled back into her group, with the rest of the females sporting expressions not much brighter than hers. Chris, however, looked as chipper as ever. "Now what's-his-face will hand out some nifty gadgets!"

The escort mumbled his name and how much he hated his life under his breath as he gave each girl a shiny cell phone with a large screen and looked rather high tech.

**Bell: **_**"Oh wow – I'm holding the latest Blackberry right now! It isn't supposed to be out for another year! I wonder how Chris got these!"**_

**Chris: **_**"I managed to cut a few deals with the nerds- I ah, mean wonderful gents in the tech industry. These wicked little devils I gave the chicks **_**haven't been tested**_** yet so the girls are going to be the guinea pigs! I even got a warning with it about random electric shocks! This is going be awwwwwwesome to watch!"**_

"These," Chris gestured to the devices, "are your sidekicks for today. Lose them, have them stolen, break them – whatever, and you're in for it. Record numbers in that thing and whenever a guy asks you for yours, press the black button on the side so it tallies up in your phone – but I don't suggest cheating by sitting there and pressing it either."

**Stormy: **_**"… Curses!"**_

**Nina: **_**"No! How am I supposed to win this thing now if I can't CHEAT? Where's the loophole?! THERE'S ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE A LOOPHOLE!" Nina sobs and pulls her beanie down over her head to hide her muffled cries.**_

"The team who gets the most numbers wins exemption and a date with yours truly. To make this deal a bit special, the girl who collects the most numbers on the team gets some more quality time! And now, I'm going to go in and scope the area and you all are going to come in a bit after me. I'll be in a clever disguise so you can't possibly tell where I am, but just know I _will be watching_." The girls shivered. "Well, that's all I got to say! See you around _ladies_." Chris whipped his shades off, put them in his pocket, and took a different pair of sunglasses out and put them over his eyes as he triumphantly walked in.

**Serenity: **_**Her left eye twitches and she struggles to keep her cracking composure.**__**"Please don't tell me that switching sunglasses is his idea of a disguise…"**_

After standing around awkwardly for five minutes, the escort allowed the girls to fly through the doors and take on the mall's male population on their own. With all the people crammed in the place, it couldn't be _that_ hard… right?

* * *

_Wrong. _This challenge was NOT going to be easy… at least not for Team Three and not by a long shot.

"Kristina, Dawn – follow me! We need to go get some numbers!" Krissy ordered, waiting to be followed.

"But what about Lea and Nina?" Kristina wondered.

Krissy laughed haughtily. "Yeah, as if. If we want to, like, _win _we need to travel together without having any freaks in our possy. Those two don't make the cut."

"Why?" Kristina asked. Both of the girls were exceptionally gorgeous or they wouldn't have made the cut to be on the show.

"Well, let's start with Freak Girl One." Krissy shifted her weight toward Lea, who was standing up tall and starring at something on the ceiling (that's at least what the girls assumed). "Notice how she's staring at who-knows-what. She spaces all the time – enough to be considered a mental case. If we get seen with her, her retarded daydreaming shit will be guy repellent or we'd get stuck with weirdos. And besides – her nose is kinda big."

**Lea: **_**"… Krissy has toothpaste on her shirt… I wonder why she hasn't noticed yet. It seems fairly obvious that it's there…" She shrugs. "Of course, I suppose it could be because she was pointing out some of my flaws. Not that I mind too much since my nose is a disproportional to the rest of my features and at least she was up front about it. To a degree I feel Krissy is respectable." She pauses and rethinks what she just said. "She is respectable to a very small degree."**_

"As for Freak Girl Numba Two," all eyes fell on Nina, who was already getting glossy eyes, "She does more crying than the girls on an episode of The C.O. which is like one of the bestest soap operas, _ever_! But that's beside the point – let's go ladies! You two just… don't bother us."

Krissy dragged (literally) Dawn and Kristina away. Once out of eyesight and lost in the crowd, Nina burst into hysteric crying spasms. "Bestest isn't a word," Lea commented to the sobbing Nina, hoping it would cheer her up that the Queen Bee type wasn't all that bright.

"But… I said that word this morning!" Nina sobbed harder, overlooking the fact Lea had tried to make her feel better. With the hysterics she was in, it didn't look as if anyone would be invading their personal bubble (let alone asking for numbers) anytime soon…

* * *

Team One was doing much, much better than the third group which was evident by the bright smiles and radiating good moods.

**Shelly: **_**"I'm not too worried about the challenge! I have such awesome people on my team – how could we lose?"**_

As the group started to talk amongst themselves about their wonderful luck, a guy walked over from a booth wearing a shirt that had, "Save our planet!" written in bright red letters. "Hello! Do you guys have a sec? I'd like to talk to you about our envoi- HOLY CRAP! Guys, it's Lena! DUDES LENA'S HERE!"

The girls arched a brow at Lena, who was now waving and greeting the guys like they were long-lost friends. "Hey, guys! I haven't seen any of you since the sit in we had in the Pet Testing Labs!"

"Yeah – that was awesome! You had the best slogans…" a few of the guys started to drool at her as she took a look at a pamphlet they brought over, but she didn't seem to notice with the environmental literature at her fingertips. If they weren't gawking at the brunette, the rest of the guys were checking out the other girls.

**Vikki: **_**"Must get numbers… must get numbers… must… get… numbers… must let… dumb boys… stare…"**_

Lauren brought her purse up in front of her chest nonchalantly as if everyone did it now and days. Shelly sidestepped behind Roxie, who was used to being avidly stared at and didn't seem to mind too much, though she definitely wasn't interested in it. Vikki brought her guitar she always had with her in her arms to block all that she could. Lena seemed to be the only one who honestly didn't notice the attention she was getting, which was confusing seeing how she had a knack for knowing when Chris even glanced her direction.

Not that anyone had to time to think about that as the boys started to get bold and try striking up conversations.

**Vikki: **_**"Yeah, hands down worse challenge. Ever."**_

* * *

"Hey – what's going on over there?" The members of Team Two looked over at a hoard of guys surrounding where their friends in the first group was last seen.

"What the hell could they possibly be doing – stripping?" Maddie asked her team members who all looked both relieved (better to sacrifice someone other than themselves) and agitated (wait – didn't they want to be sacrificed for this dumb challenge?).

"Hey, you sexy thangs." The five turned around to see a tall, muscular guy with a muscle shirt curving over his thick abs looking at all the girls with heavy eyes. "How about I give you all the attention you've ever dreamed of?"

**Katroina: **_**"I won't lie – no one has ever said that to me before. **_**Ever**_**. Another truth? I never really wanted anyone to say anything to me like that. **_**Ever**_**."**_

Tawni scowled, already ticked off with the challenge the sudden strong and uncalled for come-on grated her nerves further down. "How about I give your face some attention from my fist and let it teach you how to talk to people?"

Maddie didn't bother to hide her laugh and even went as far as to point to the well-built man and shout, "DENIED!" Al was frowning at her iPod – she had been changing songs when the exchange took place and missed out on the insult and was rather confused as to why this random guy was standing so close and looked so mad. Katroina was shaking her head at the whole situation she found to be immature and Stormy was… well, documenting the events in her book.

**Stormy: **_**Avidly jotting down notes with a building speed and force. "Situations like these… give me eustress… and I love every moment of it!"**_

"Fine you bitches, I don't need this!" He looked down at Al, who was arching a brow at him and looked as perplexed as he did engaged. "I know you want me and I'll make you jealous by letting your friend hang out with me and mine!" Al's face paled as he swept her in his arms and took her over to a group of equally beefed-up guys.

"It would be great to have someone help me right about now!" Al shouted a bit nervously, writhing against the huge arms that had her stuck against his chest.

**Katroina: **_**"It was a bit shocking. It took us a moment to realize that our teammate was, in fact, just kidnapped and another moment to realize we should go try and stop the creeper who took her. It's too bad that a huge group of people chose that precise moment to walk in front of us… what an inopportune time."**_

**Maddie: **_**"Sucks to be her…"**_

Tawni groaned and slapped her palm to her forehead. "Great – just great! Al's gone!"

Stormy looked up from her book. "Wait, _Al's gone_?"

* * *

Ulli had taken to smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in her orange dress as she ordered everyone in Team Four around. "Serenity – go to Fossil and see if they have anything cute. They usually have good cardigans. Sapphire – go get me a drink, and I'm thinking that only a slushie can quench this dry feeling in my throat. Charlie – go look at that map and tell me where the nearest tanning bed is. Bell, go see if you can find a masseuse in this hellhole. Everyone got that? Well? What are you all standing around for?!"

Charlie took a step away from the orange spitfire with her eyes narrowed. "Listen, Ulli, I have no intention of doing this challenge, but I'm not about to go shopping or looking for tanning beds."

"You aren't doing the challenge?" Serenity gasped.

**Charlie: **_**"Of course I'm not doing the challenge! It's incredibly demeaning. He treats us more like toys then people! I am not about to lower myself to picking up guys to get a date. There's just no way."**_

**Chris: **_**"… Damn!"**_

A spark of rage flickered in the orange athlete's yellow brown eyes and she moved up to stand in front of Charlie, though with her height she had to crane her neck to the point where it was almost a perfect right angle. "You don't want to help you team out? Fine, be gone with you!"

Ulli shoved Charlie back, and the blond fell into Bell who clutched her arms and kept them steady. Ulli looked ready to cause some more damage for being brushed off when Sapphire stepped in. "H-hey…" she stuttered and blushed at her own forwardness. "Pa-please don-don't hurt Charlie… she's ni-nice…."

"Move, bitch!"

Ulli aimed a slap at the shy girl. Sapphire leaned back and let the hand slip through the air in front of her before aiming a kick at her side and jabbing a few of the orange girl's pressure points and sending her to the ground. Everyone was speechless as Ulli dropped and they all looked back up _carefully_ at Sapphire, who looked as innocent as child who got lost.

"That was kinda like what the kids at my school I aid at do," Serenity whispered in astonishment.

"Umm… thanks." Charlie softly stated even though she didn't really approve of violence and wasn't sure if Ulli was dead or not.

"She'll be fine I didn't hurt her, just knocked her out," Sapphire said as she took to twiddling her thumbs. "I guess she didn't know I was a black belt…"

* * *

Krissy and Kristina were huddled behind a water fountain watching Dawn struggle to stay awake in front of Hot Topic as people passed from each direction.

"Err, can I ask what we're doing?" Kristina wondered aloud, not enjoying the crazed look in Krissy's eyes. "Shouldn't we be focusing on our mission and getting numbers? Why are we hiding?"

"Because I have to make sure Dawn doesn't screw up!" she hissed. "My plan is to put each one of our 'normal' members of our crap team in places where guys that like our 'style' or whatever will be. You and myself are pretty versatile, so I'm thinking we'll just go to the food court after making sure Dawn knows what she's doing."

"Oh." Kristina looked back but then another question came to mind. "Wait, isn't Dawn pretty versatile? She's easy enough to get along with."

Krissy clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Dawn's hot spot is Hot Topic. If she'd get a few piercings, die her hair the colors of the rainbow, get some Asian symbol for a tattoo, and wore some dark poorly applied makeup there's no doubt in my mind she'd be crowned queen of that weird store and we'd have won by now!"

"Isn't that… stereotyping the people and store itself to say all that?"

"It's true!" Krissy rebuffed. "Dawn has a freaking faux hawk for crying out loud! Black jeans and that yellow tee – and those _glasses_…." Krissy nodded to herself. "If only… I GOT IT!" She looked down at Kristina. "Wait here – I'll be right back!" Krissy bolted and was gone for what seemed like hours. When she got back she had what looked like a large stapler in her hand.

"Dawn!" The girl called looked up from her dull laze and her eyes snapped why.

"What do you plan to do with that piercing gun?"Dawn asked apprehensively.

"Make you fit in more! You're so close but imagine what a nose ring would do for us!"

Dawn took that as her cue to get out of there. Fast.

**Kristina: **_**"Why couldn't we just go get numbers somewhere crowded again…?"**_

Meanwhile, the rest of Team Three was bored out of their minds. Well, Lea looked bored at least. Nina was having the time of her life hassling the ever calm girl with a collected persona.

"I spy with my little eye something that is… purple!"

"… My shirt?"

"You won again! That's twenty-seven for twenty-seven! You're good at this game!" Nina had decided to play I Spy with Lea, who had a knack for getting every 'spied' object right without even looking around to see what Nina scoped out.

Nina sniffed. "Why is it so easy for you to win…?" She broke into hard sobs and shoved herself to the corner of her bench.

Goodness this girl was bipolar…

* * *

Lena was feeling good. She looked at the space left on the blackberry with a smile. "Memory full! I didn't think it'd be THAT easy to get numbers! What about you guys?"

Team One's cell phone's were, in fact, brimming with information and with an hour to spare nonetheless. Turns out that hosting sit-ins can help out when you need a helping hand.

"I think we should go Chris Hunting," Lauren joked, feeling comfortable enough away from the group of boys to put her purse by her side. "I want to see all of his sun glasses!"

* * *

A group of girls swooned and cooed around a bench were a strikingly handsome man leaned back at. He was letting his teeth sparkle at the girl's watching him and even ran a hand through his luscious locks to make them yearn to touch it even more.

"Ohhh you are so hot!" one girl squeaked.

"What did you say you did again…?"

"I said," the girls squealed more at the smooth voice, "that I turned down a role to play Edward Cullen, you know that guy in the _Twilight_ movies? It was because I was just _too good _to settle for it."

"I can believe that!" another girl shouted before a loud whisper along the lines of, "Sorry, Edward!" was heard.

Quite frankly, Chris was enjoying his time letting girls he didn't have to commit to admire and spoil him with compliments. It was a nice break from the house. Everything with those girls was getting too serious for him, so it was nice to have some time to himself – which he very much needed! Another major plus was that the mall was too huge for him to worry about anything as trite as a girl from the house actually finding him.

"Chris!" The lax guy stiffened. Oh no… no no no no no no…

It was one of the few women on the face of the planet that would not only care to the extreme about exactly where he was and what he was doing, but would make sure he knew _exactly_ how much they cared.

_Charlie_.

The crowd split to allow Team Four led by an incredulous looking Charlie over to him. She took a good look at the fan girls assembled and scoffed. "Lack of commitment…" she muttered. "I didn't even do the challenge because I didn't want to prove I wasn't here for you but look at what you're doing." She gave him a look that made the loitering girls feel guilty and consider racing off.

"Anyway, Chris, we have a problem which is why we went looking for you in the first place." Serenity said, snaking her way up to him as well. "Ulli is kind of… well, knocked out on the floor a bit from here and we wanted to know what to do."

Chris laughed. "Oh yeah! I caught that action!" He gave Sapphire a thumbs up. "Awwwesome performance, I gotta hand it to you."

Sapphire gave her nervous thumbs a strained look, not willing herself to look up and show anyone her obvious redness.

"So what, are we just going to leave her there?" Bell asked doubtfully.

Chris tapped his chin. "Well, considering you already did, I'd say yes. Yes you will just leave her there." He got up off the bench. "Now, let's go back to the parking lot. The other's have only fifteen minutes and we mine as well chill since you all claim to be loyal and whatever."

As he walked away with the girls from the house, the fans were giving each other confused looks until one of them spoke up. "Wait… that was _really_ Chris Maclean?"

* * *

"OW!" Katroina held her phone away from her and glared at it. "This thing just _shocked_ me for no reason!"

"It got me twice," Maddie sighed and tossed it up and caught it. "If only Al could get away so we could focus on our challenge!"

Indeed, Al was still in the clutches of the evil Muscle Man and his rather large group of well-built cohorts. They had finally found them looking around a random prank store. The man who had taken Al had a nice grip on her arm. And Al? Yeah, she didn't look too happy about her quandary.

Everyone's phone's suddenly went off simultaneously. They brought them out and grimaced: Chris expected them to be out in the parking lot in five minutes.

"The only way it looks like we can get her back is to rekidnap her," Tawni said slowly, mulling it over. "We're going to have to trick those blockheads by using a diversion and just bolt." She shifted her eyes to everyone. "Any takers?"

No one looked excited about sacrificing themselves, but since Stormy hadn't paid them any heed they stuffed her in the store and told her to distract and run when they did.

"You can do it!" Maddie cheered.

**Maddie: **_**"There's no way she can distract those goons or would even try. I think we just lost two players…" Then her face lit up. "That's two less people to compete against!"**_

Stormy shrugged off the insane antics her team had in mind and leaned back on a wall and went back to writing. Al noticed her and paused her iPod with her free hand and leaned back. "Hey Stormy!" she whispered out. "Are you here to help?"

"No," Stormy said flatly.

"Wha- come on! I could use it!"

"What'd you say?" the blockhead asked. Al waved him off.

Stormy looked up and Al did not like that mischievous glint in her hazel eyes. "Under one condition…" She scribbled something down in her book, tore it out, and handed it over to Al's free hand. Al's eyes popped open and bugged at the note. "No way!"

"Fine… hope you like being manhandled…"

Al groaned. "Fine! But I just know I'll get you back for this!" Al turned her iPod up as loud as she could and squeezed her eyes shut.

Stormy snapped her book shut and plugged her pen into her pocket. She strut in front of group of guys and took a deep breath and –

**Maddie: **_**"Hey, I was wrong! What's she going to do?" **_

**Tawni: **_**"Four minutes…"**_

**Katroina: **_**"I hope this plan doesn't involve her taking a shirt off. For some reason, I just wouldn't put it past her."**_

- and then she breathed it out. "Hey, you guys." The blockheads got smart and realized they were being spoken to. Stormy pointed to her teammates. "Those girls just claimed that their _boyfriend_ could beat you up. Are you going to take that?"

The blockheads looked at each other and wondered, where they going to take that?

"NOOOOOO WAAAAAAAY!" one particularly stupid looking one with a lazy eye growled. He stampeded to the girls and demanded to know where their boyfriend was.

Katroina, Tawni, and Maddie decided that now would be a good time to bolt and the bodybuilders with rabies symptoms on their heels helped to keep their pace strong. Al's capture had followed, so she walked over to Stormy and glowered. "Here."

They switched Blackberry's. Stormy smirked in victory.

* * *

Outside, Chris had his limo pulled up with the girl's limo right behind it. He stood in front of it, drumming his finger tips against the car roof in impatience. All the girls were here (even Ulli had woken up – due to a shock from her phone she claims – and stood by her team, who were all glaring heavily at her). Well, all the girls minus Team Three.

"One minute for them left!" Lena sang out happily. Her team was all wearing bright faces and in an exceptionally good mood after learning from Charlie that their team had gotten no numbers. Even better was the news from Nina that they were also numberless even though she knew Lea had people ask for her numbers and she just neglected them or possibly didn't notice them in the midst of her daydream (this memory caused Nina to go into a fit of tears).

Just then Tawni came sprinting out in-between where the first and third team stood. "Yo Chris the-"

Maddie slammed into Tawni's back and cut off her warning and providing her own. "CHRIS THESE FREAKY JACKED UP STEROID USERS WANT TO FIGHT YOU!"

Katroina came out next and nodded while panting. "It's true, though I don't know so much about the steroids part…"

Chris tilted his head and his jaw slacked. "What…? Why the hell would they want to do _that_?"

To add to the growing chaos, several beefy looking guys came soaring out of the doors and pointed at Chris and the escort, who happened to be the only males besides themselves out there (besides the drivers, but no one thought they really counted the poor saps). "Which one of you challenged us to a FIGHT?"

**Sapphire: **_**"I get to see Chris fight?" She smiles and looks enthusiastic.**_

Chris jabbed a finger at the escort. "He is."

The escort looked mollified and he shrunk away from Chris. "Chris, that's a lie!"

He shrugged and slapped his back. "Relax and take one for the team. If you live through this I'll talk to the network about giving you a raise or something." The body builders cracked their knuckles and took off after the shrieking escort who decided that running through to the main parking lot was his best option. Al and Stormy creaked through the doors and snuck into the limos after everyone else carefully made their ways inside as to not startle the bodybuilders and bring them over. It was time to get out of there….

* * *

"Third elimination ceremony, ladies, how are we feeling?" Some girls opened their mouth but Chris overlooked them. "Good for you. Now after collecting the Blackberry's and giving them to some guy I hired to count up the numbers, I was a bit disappointed. Team's Three and Four, you guys suck. Not a single number. For shame!"

The girls looked at each other and felt better about 'sucking' since so many of them apparently did – and there's power in numbers, right?

"Team One and Three, however, proved to go way above and beyond! Team One got a wicked high total of fifty-seven numbers!" The girls cheered and clapped. "Yeah, but Team Three's was higher. They had a more wicked even higher total of sixty-two."

"What?" Vikki asked in shock. "How? We were surrounded!"

**Al: **_**"Turns out the idiot who took me has a bunch cell phones because he keeps breaking them – he says he has anger issues or something And then his friends wanted to register their numbers and they apparently have a bunch of phones too because of the same problem. Go figure."**_

"So Team Three, get over there and enjoy your triumph! And Stormy, I hate to say this – and I mean really hate to say this – but looks like we get some extra time on our date."

The group cast suspicious eyes at an angry Al and chipper Stormy as they aligned themselves up on the winning stands.

"Now we know the deal, right?" The girls nodded. "In case you forgot and you're telling lies, I'll say it again for your benefit and so you can hear how nice my voice is! I call your name, you get sweet – literally – candy or a piece of this equally sweet grape bunch. Unless you Lena and you like to take handfuls, but hey I don't judge. From there you go to those risers. If your name isn't called or I call it to inform you or your losing status, hightail it out of here to the Helipad of Shame and take a trip on the Helicopter of Losers and know that you can never return… _ever_." He reached for a chocolate and took a bite and said, "Roxie."

The dancer came forward and Chris offered her the candy, with his bite marks facing the other way and pretending to act innocent. She rolled her eyes but smiled and took it from him, popping it in her mouth.

**Roxie: **_**"Third time out of three for getting picked first!"**_

**Nina: **_**She's sobbing. "Roxie got picked first… AGAIN."**_

"Lena." The once upbeat girl looked miserable at the surprising defeat. She ser herself up to get pumped for her second date… that wouldn't be happening. At least not tomorrow.

Chris noticed this, and debated. Should he do something to make her feel better? Wait, why would he want to do that? He likes to see this! People looking depressed like this make the world go round, right? Then… why did he feel like crap to see her drag herself away?

He shook his head. He'd deal with his stupid conscience later. Yes, that had to be it. He was getting morals. It's not as if he was actually starting to… to _care_. Of course not.

"Charlie!" he called out quickly. "Dawn… KKm don't even think about it… next lady, you know who you are…" Lea came up and took her chocolate accordingly, thanking Chris upon it dropping into her waiting palm.

**Bell: **_**"How does Lea always know it's for her? What's with that anyways? Is it like an inside joke or something?"**_

"Bell… Sapphire, awesome fight once again! Thoroughly entertaining and will bring some off the hook ratings… Kristina… Serenity… Lauren… Shelly… and then there were three."

Vikki, Nina, and Ulli stood on the risers, looking nervous.

**Charlie: **_**"If Chris doesn't send Ulli home, I'm going. I'm not putting myself at risk for someone who flirts constantly with other girls who **_**aren't even in the competition**_**!"**_

"Ulli, step forward." The orange girl walked up and Chris scowled. "I said 'step forward' not 'come over here!' Whatever. The message is the same no matter where you put yourself. Ulli, it's time you said goodbye to your chance at me and hit the air."

The orange girl's eyes shot open wide and she growled. "No! I'm forty-two! I need to win so I can marry you and have your money to buy my equipment and fulfill my Olympic aspirations and put my seventeen-year-old son in a proper boarding school!"

Silence. Everyone looked stunned with the exception of Lea, who already thought as much.

"COUGAR!" Maddie cried out, pointing accusingly at the orange girl.

"Fer sure," Chris agreed. "No wonder you're so messed up – you're senile!"

**Lauren: **_**"This goes to show us that you never know what's going to happen here and things change… quickly…"**_

**Lena: **_**"Now that I think about it, I think I teach a kid who looks kind of like her in my AP Biology class."**_

**Vikki: **_**"That poor, poor child of hers…. Does anyone else think it's weird that she looks like she's young and she's the oldest person here?"**_

Ulli narrowed her eyes and stalked off, leaving a string of curse words in her wake.

**Ulli: **_**"I hope you're happy, you sadist bastard! You're deluded dif you think you can find someone better than me and who loves you!"**_

"Now Vikki and Nina, I'm glad to say that one of you will be joining her. That one will be… Vikki." Vikki looked crestfallen. "Wait, no, _not_ Vikki – Vikki take this candy. I meant Nina. Yes, Nina."

A loud, ear biting scream ripped through the garden and Nina quivered. "Why Chris? Why?" she sobbed.

"It's because you cry all the fuckin' TIME!" Krissy shouted.

"Actually, no, it's not." Chris pointed to her beloved hat. "Your beanie doesn't match your outfit." The girl's looked from the infamous black beanie to her pink short sleeved dress to her yellow shoes. "And yes, matching does matter. Can't fall in love with someone who's colorblind, can I?"

"But… I'm not…" she cried even harder in to the stones as security came out to take her away.

**Nina: **_**"Chris… even though you can't see or feel what I do, even though you're being hounded by all these beautiful, smart women… know that I will love you forever and that one day we'll be together! I won't give up!"**_

Chris coughed and turned to the group of girls. "Well, now that THAT'S over, let's go inside and chill, shall we?"

They all nodded, happy at Chris quality time. A door was heard sliding open and shut and all eyes turned to see a gorgeous and exceptionally long wavy blonde tresses and short hot pink dress with a corset top and frilly, poofy bottom that ended at her knees.

"Shit…" Chris breathed out.

"Hey, lover." The girl walked up and flipped her hair and batted her well shaded light blue eyes at him coyly. "Since you forgot to text me about your little shindig I thought I'd get myself invited. _Aren't you lucky I'm giving you another chance_?"

* * *

**My fingers hurt. My neck hurts. My head hurts. EVERYTHING hurts… I'm going to go cuddle up in bed right now and order my psycho neighbor to put my homework on fire… bleh I can't even think straight… and I jumped around too much because of it... damn cross country prep season, musical practice, fencing practice, and school in general! Oh well, what can you do?**

**Thanks go out to: everyone who reviewed. If I could, I would give you the world, but it just isn't good enough for any of you so I won't even bother offering (… I think I heard this pickup line before XP).**

**Special Super Duper Thanks go out to: 1000GreenSun (still the supreme challenge beta), Sani48 (still freaking uh-maize-ing, still radical, and still a reviewer), . (still jealous), and One Black Rose (still loving your suggestion) **

**Review and remind me why I do this instead of studying for my SATs ;)**


	9. FIRE! Aim, Ready

**The Challenges of Love**

**9. FIRE!… Aim, Ready**

* * *

**This early update is a birthday present for Queen O' Randomness, so thank her for it being early. Why people want updates as presents I couldn't tell you, but alas I'm no one to judge. So happy birthday and make sure to send some cake to yours truly – I like corner pieces XD.**

**In this chapter, prepare yourselves for: ****dates****, a ****challenge****, a ****single****elimination****, ****lip-to-lip****contact****, ****romance****, a ****bunch**** of ****other****stuff****, ****randomness****, ****page****breaks**** galore, and most importantly ****DRAMA****!**

**I have no ownership of the amazingly amazing oc's or of TDI/TDA or any elements associated to it.**

**ON A SIDE NOTE… that 'technical error'… was a **_**bitch**_**.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson_

_-Ladies Left: 19_

* * *

The odalisque girl giggled and winked at him cutely, as if he was her boyfriend or something. She took long strides in her stilettos and wrapped her arms around Chris, who was watching her with his brows drawn together and his head titled ever so slightly.

"You feel warm, Chris." The girl cuddled further into the chest and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. She fit well for being so tall.

The girls were kind of confused and quiet, trying to figure out what was going on. Then…

"CC WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH DOING TO YOU?" Krissy stepped off her riser and went storming over with the aura of a serial killer and her fists clenched in lividness. She grabbed the girl's shoulder and yanked her off of Chris and glared pointedly at her. "Who are you and why are you feeling up _my_ man?"

The girls expected the blond to look angry and possibly retaliate with a mean speech brimming with negative connotation. Her eyes, instead of filling with abhorrence, glistened and filled with melancholy. "O-oh, of course, I'm so sorry. I just didn't realize… I mean… I knew we'd be competing but I didn't think he'd made any official decisions as of yet, you know?"

Krissy gaped at her. "Huh? What do you mean we'd be competing? We –" she motioned to herself and the curious girls on the risers – "are competing… well, _barely_. But we –" she rocked a finger between them – "are _not_."

The model sniffed and her lips quivered. "You know, you remind me of this commercial I had to do. There was this damsel – me – and this mean girl who went up to start a fight and I had to drink this juice to get wings or something and fly off with her guy – and oh look you got me off topic!" She looked up at Chris. "Chris, she's mean."

"Yeah, pretty much." He seemed unphased by her pout. "So, wanna tell me why you're here, Leila?"

"Whoa – hold up," Krissy stepped back and looked at the girl as if it was her first time seeing her. "Leila Claires? As in supermodel Leila?" The girl nodded and Krissy's contorted face went even more twisted.

**Krissy: **_**"I'm now apparently**_ _**competing against my idol in perfect body figure and face structure. Freaking wonderful."**_

Leila grabbed Chris' hands in her dainty, French-manicured ones and looked at him with big, innocent eyes. "Chris, I know things didn't work out the first time, but I want to try again! You broke up with me after just a week after all! It reminded me of this one movie my friend was in where he loved this girl but she liked some pop star so he did all he could to win her back and got a lead in the musical and – oh, off topic again… anyways, I think we should give this another shot."

He frowned. "We went out for _six days_, not a week. There's a difference."

"I know lover, _I know_," she cooed, stroking his chest with her sharp nail. "But why can't we pick up where we left off and _make_ it a week?"

He looked down at her skeptically. "How about… no?" She leaned up and kissed Chris sensually, drawing gags from the girls. She pulled back smiled at Chris, who didn't even blink. "Still no."

She sighed. "Well, it's already a part of your contract, so I'll just have to win you over the hard way I suppose. But don't worry. I'd do it to prove my love for you!"

**Leila: **_**"God someone shoot me. Ugh this crap just keeps coming out of my mouth! But I got to make him want me and pick me and when he does I'll just take it all away from him and make him look like a dumbass! It's genius, I know. Anything to get revenge on him for BREAKING up with ME."**_

Chris' eyes darkened at the knowledge that his own pals back at The Network agreed to this. Didn't they offer him their condolences…? "Whatever," he shrugged nonchalantly and powered away.

"Chris!" Lena called out. "Wait! Wh-"

"I changed my mind." He answered her before she asked. He didn't look mad, didn't seem mad, but everyone there knew he was mad. Or at the very least upset. He had to be feeling a bit down, right? It was hard to tell with him sometimes.

All eyes caught Leila like magnets. She waved shyly. "Ummm… hi."

**Leila: **_**"Another part of my brilliant scheme? Buddy up with the skanks and make them love me. It'll make Chris pissed off beyond belief to know his little friends or hoes or whatever they are happen to be my friends."**_

Krissy scoffed and ran off after Chris, calling his name like a wild woman, leaving the other girls to decipher this new comer for themselves. But first thing was first...

"How did you and Chris breakup?" Maddie asked.

Leila let her smile fall and looked away to feign shame. "It was truly awful! I had a crush on Chris for the longest time and finally got a chance to meet him at one of the commercials we were shooting together. He was so wonderful to me and we went out to clubs together and everything! It was all fun and I just wanted to make it official so I asked him out."

**Leila: **_**"I'll leave out the fact I only wanted to go out with him to land a spot on one of The Network's new shows… they don't need to know that."**_

"You didn't answer her question." Tawni said with narrowed eyes, knowing that if she was putting off the truth it can't be too good.

Leila put a hand to her lips and sniffed. "Oh, well he doesn't like commitment you know, so I was alone most of the time. I tried to go see if he was at work one night and in his office there was this agent looking for him, wanting to run an idea by him. He seemed nice enough so I talked to him and… he…" silent tears slipped to her chin. "He started to kiss me and I tried pushing him off, but he was too strong and Chris walked in…" she cried into her palms.

It was so sorrowful, this little 'confession,' and so excellently performed. Not one 'off topic moment' to tarnish it.

**Leila: **_**"Chris always freaking ignored me, even before we were going out! So I went to his office to break things off or at least get him to buy me something to make it up to me and there was this hot guy here who looked kinda wasted. So we fooled around a bit, no big deal." She brought her hand back and checked her nails. "I think I'll need to redo these tonight…"**_

"Hey, don't cry. It's not your fault, right?" Bell said, coming up and soothing the girl. Since she was the only girl not there to date Chris it was easier for her to accept someone new. "Besides, now that you're here you can prove yourself to him, right? It's like a second chance – fate!"

She nodded and thanked Bell for her kindness and the pair walked in together, getting acquainted and going off to find Leila a place to sleep. After deciding that the night was ruined if Chris wasn't going to show, the rest of the girls followed in shortly after.

* * *

"I never thought I'd say this, but where the heck is Chef with breakfast?" Serenity asked, stomach growling.

"It's alright," Lauren said. "People tend to say the strangest things when they're hungry."

"Morning." Everyone looked at Leila, who came looking like a model (of course) in a light blue tube top that was the size of a thick belt, jean shorts, and strapless white high heels that hurt to think about walking around for fun in.

**Stormy: **_**"She's a self esteem killer. Good thing Nina left when she did or she'd be suicidal."**_

"Good morning," Lea said back out of civility and most of the other girls said some variation of a salutation for the same reason.

Leila looked around and clapped her hands together, feeling her plan crumble in the room packed with tension. "So… is there a reason we're all standing in line in front of the kitchen counter…?"

"Chef isn't here," Shelly answered, trying to smile and be friendly to this new girl.

"Oh. Well since he's not here, why can't we just go do our own thing?" Everyone looked at her blankly. "What?"

"The cook here is Chef Hatchet," Bell informed her.

Leila gagged. "Makes sense. I remember this one time he was cooking and made all the snacks while I was shooting a scene for an action movie. Anyways, everyone hated the food but when someone told him that they went missing from the set and was found a few months later in Bora Bora."

Lauren smiled sheepishly. "Ummm… okay…"

"LADIES – IF YOU CAN EVEN CALL YOURSELVES THAT!" The group looked up at the speakers to hear Chef's scratchy voice barking out at them instead of Chris. "EVERYONE GET YOUR LAZY, BARBIE ASSES TO THE HELL PAD!"

"Does he mean the helipad?" Dawn wondered.

"OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT I MEANT, FILTHY VERMIN!" Chef growled not even a second later. He was so loud the speakers shrilled. "I MADE A PLAY ON WORDS WITH IT SINCE YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN HELL WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE! YOU DIDN'T THINK MY JOKE WAS FUNNY?" Silence. Chef was heard grumbling something and bellowed out, "SO MOVE IT!" and the speakers clicked off.

"First they take away my sleep, then they take away my pride, now my breakfast," Maddie sighed. "And wait – what about my date? Are these challenges going to take my date away? Because that's not cool!"

"Fine by me," Krissy said cattily, walking up the steps with the rest of the group to the Helipad of Shame.

When they made it up there they saw Chef doing – what else? – scowling. He was also decked out in his infamous military getup. Once everyone was clustered in front of him he started to talk. "All the lowlifes who made it through yesterdays challenge can go to the limo out front, not that you deserve a limo…"

"SWEET!" Maddie cheered, heading for the door.

"HOLD UP BLEACH HEAD!" Chef turned to Leila and pointed to the door. "Chris wants you to go with them!"

**Al: "**_**I got kidnapped for this date and she just shows up and gets to go?"**_

**Katroina: **_**"I can't say it's totally a surprise that he'd want to talk to her, but I'm disappointed it's on our time."**_

**Stormy: **_**"Does this interfere with my quality time…?"**_

**Maddie: **_**"No freakin' way! How is this fair?"**_

**Tawni: **_**She shrugs. "I'm not too bothered. If it didn't work out before, I doubt it'd work again even if she gets to squeeze in on our date. I just don't think Chris is the type of guy to give second chances like that. He's been there, done that, and that's all there is to it."**_

**Leila: **_**"This is going better than expected! If I keep up the good work, I may not even have to compete in challenges at all!"**_

The group begrudgingly stalked down to the limo with a merry supermodel in tow.

The other girls straightened up as chef turned back to them."This is Paintball Wars! Put your ears to use and listen up!" Chef ordered. "You'll be split into two teams!" He pointed to the two tables behind him that had a list of names, white canvas jumpsuits, clear goggles, and paintball guns. "Since I don't know your names, _you_ read that list and find out your teams for yourselves! Change and report back in fifteen!"

The girls did as told and within fifteen minutes came back in white suits with paintball guns. "Alright, Blue Team has _red_ ammo, Red Team has _blue_ ammo!"

Everyone looked confused. "Hey Chef," Vikki said. "Don't you mean Blue Team has blue ammo and Red Team has red ammo…?"

"DID I SAY THAT?"

"No, that's why I _asked_."

"WELL IF I DIDN'T SAY IT, THAN WHY WOULD IT BE THAT WAY? _Blue Team_ has _red ammo_, _Red Team_ has _blue ammo_. Any other punks confused about the words commin' outta my mouth wanna go? No? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT."

"What exactly are we going to do?" Shelly wondered softly, not wanting to cause any problems. "Are we trying to shoot the other team?"

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE TRYING TO SHOOT THE OTHER TEAM!"

Lauren rolled her eyes and leaned in to whisper to Shelly, "Is it just me or is he really redundant?"

"HEY – NO SECRETS! THIS IS WAR! UNLESS IT PERTAINS TO WAR, THERE SHOULD BE NO _WHISPERS_." He pointed to the door. "Both teams have fifteen minutes to go strategize and once that's up you have an hour to shoot the crap outta the other side! Whoever gets the most shots in wins the war and it ends on my whistle." He shifted his eyes around. "So what are you staring like a bunch of retards at me for? GET MOVING!"

* * *

The black stretch had dropped the girls off at some restaurant with a fancy French name. They walked in and were immediately informed of how the restaurant was bought out by Chris for the afternoon and to enjoy themselves. They went straight toward a large table with Chris sipping on something and he did a curt wave. "Yo."

Maddie leapt into the seat next to him and looped her arms around his neck. "Yo yourself!"

Al smiled and sat down in the seat beside him Leila sat beside her, giving Chris a wink only he noticed. Tawni went next to her and Katroina after, leaving Stormy between Maddie and the political environmentalist.

"How are you doing?" Katroina asked, arching a brow at the nuzzling Maddie was doing and the cocky smile it put on Chris' face.

"Eh, I'm doing." He flicked a hand at the tables around them. "Just for the record, this is the nicest I've been as far as dates have gone. There was no jumping out of planes, bombs, and I even let you all get a shower this morning."

**Katroina: **_**"I don't remember anyone saying there were bombings during their date. At least I hope they would remember if there were."**_

**Leila: **_**"Chris has BOMBS incorporated with his dates?... wow, so I guess he hasn't changed much then."**_

**Maddie: "**_**I think it's because he knew I was going to be in on this date and me and him – we're like this." She crosses her fingers together and shows the camera.**_

"For the record, it's appreciated," Al replied, turning her iPod off and tucking it in her pocket.

Everyone except for Leila let their eyes grow large at the action. "I never thought you turned it off!" Chris commented.

"I do!" she snapped brashly, feeling offended by the probing eyes searching to see if there were signs that she was ill or something. "I just don't want to get distracted by my music. I mean _what could be better_ than listening to everyone trying to flirt with the guy I like?" Everyone laughed at her joke. The girls agreed with her feelings, Chris just thought it was funny, and Leila… well, once more she was an exception.

**Leila: **_**"Who cares if she turned her iPod off? It's about time she did. I don't see what the big deal is."**_

"Oi, Tawni, did Chef give you any problems this morning?"

She shrugged. "Nothing really to report back on. How come?"

"Eh, he was bitching about how he wanted to test the paintballs out on you." He smiled genuinely at her, "Of course, I told him he couldn't do it unless I was there to watch, so I bought you some time. I wanted to make sure he didn't lose patience on me."

**Tawni: **_**"Translation from Chris to normal people – my friend hates your guts and the second he tried to talk trash about you I threatened him until he knocked it off because I think I just might like you. It was scary and because he's bigger than me and has caused me pain in the past I had to make a compromise, but it's no big deal." She laughed at picturing Chris berating a large, angry Chef. "Thanks for risking your limbs and life, Chris. Much appreciated."**_

* * *

"Alright guys, we're at a disadvantage here! We only have six players, so we have to strategize before Chef blows that whistle!" Serenity informed her fellow Team Red players – Lea, Lena, Charlie, Dawn, and Bell – her eyes darting around the area looking for a Blue spy.

"Actually, we have an advantage." Dawn looked up from her paintball gun knowingly. "You see, we have one less target than they do. Sure they have one more gun aimed at us, but they also have one more body to cover."

Serenity considered this. "You know, that's a good point…"

"Way to be optimistic!" Lena said, giving her teammate the thumbs up with a shining smile. She seemed to be by far the happiest one in the Elimination Garden and was currently jumping around on branches of the largest and tallest tree she could find.

Charlie laughed. "Well if all else fails we can somehow lead the other team here and let Lena ambush them from up there."

"I was actually considering something," Lea said slowly, trying to think of ways to explain her ideas. "Since Chef never laid down any sort of rules, it would be in our best interest to –" She explained her idea and her team member's let their jaws gape in awe.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that…"

"It's a great idea! Loopholes are a wonderful thing to work with, aren't they?"

"They are… though loopholes aren't tangible per say…"

"This'll be a shocker, but maybe we should at least leave one open, y'know…?"

"LEA WATCH OUT!" Everyone halted their chit-chat and glanced over at Lea as a green flip-flop slapped the top of her head and bounced off to the ground. She blinked at the abusive footwear and then looked up at Lena. "Oh, sorry! Hey, could you toss that back up here?"

* * *

"Did you hear that? Someone just shouted for Lea! Do you think they're already having problems and shooting at each other?" Vikki looked hopefully at Krissy, Lauren, Kristina, Shelly, Roxie, and Sapphire – or rather the rest of the Blue Team.

"I h-hope everyone is o-okay…" Sapphire muttered despairingly.

**Sapphire: **_**"Oh I hope everyone is WORSE than okay! The image of the violence, the rage, the fighting – it's just absolutely incredible to consider! I wonder if the concept of war – even this simulation – has caused them to revert to primitive ways and instead of shooting they use their guns as clubs!" She smiles dreamily. "I wish I were there right now."**_

Shelly leaned in and asked Roxie, "Wait… do we get points if they shoot themselves?" She shrugged and Shelly grumbled. "Darn."

"Listen up, peoples! We need strategy!" Krissy put her hands to her hips and swayed, giving everyone a serious expression. "And, well, I don't have any… so start suggesting!"

"We could ambush!" Lauren said immediately. "Ambushes always seem to work out, don't they?"

Krissy let out an icy laugh that flipped into a frown after a few seconds. "No. Ambushes are lame. I mean seriously – who'd fall for _that_?"

**Lauren: **_**"She didn't have to be so harsh about it…"**_

"How about we use a diversion?" Vikki proposed. "We could send in one person to run in, shoot, and take a few hits to find the weakest link and then they'd come back so we could come up with a better plan to go after the weaker people."

"Okay now these ideas are just getting stupider!" Krissy slugged down and the Blue Team sat in concentration (or boredom – the facial expressions are the same in both scenarios) around the living room they hid in.

After moments of this, Vikki shot up. "I've got it! I know how we can win this thing!"

* * *

Leila was started to get pissed.

Chris was having the time of his life mingling and joking with these trashy girls while she – the supermodel – sat crossed legged trying to look happy and content when she was anything but. As soon as she got Chris on his knees she'd put these girls through _hell_. Now if only she could just convince him she's the important one here…

"Chris," Leila drawled out, leaning forward and squeezing her breasts together over the table to show off her cleavage, "Have you found any girls you like yet?"

Chris didn't seem to notice her and her attempts at attracting his eyes to certain places and he – to her utter horror – shrugged imperturbably. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. There are some cool chicks in the house anyways."

"But do you _like_ them?"

"I just told you yeah," he repeated slowly in a drawled voice, trying to see where she was taking this.

She looked over at the girls now observing her as well. Looks like she had to be careful how she said and did things. "Well do you… love any of them?"

Chris' eyes shot wide open for the briefest second, but in a blink he was looking carefree as always. "Nope, not a one."

"Don't worry, I'll change his mind," Maddie promised, smirking at Leila. Leila had done a well job thus far at being inconspicuous and as far as the girls were concerned she was just a lax ex who wanted a chance with Chris like they did and kept quiet. She even chimed in with nice remarks and agreeing comments every so often to raise their reassurance for her.

"Suuuuuuure you do that," Chris said, poking a pink bow she had in her hair.

"Hey that's like the fifth time you did that."

He nodded. "Yeah, but I like it. It's pretty damn sexy."

Maddie's face lit up but she kept her confident smirk and Leila bit back a groan.

**Maddie: **_**"Bows are totally my thing now since there 'damn sexy' and all."**_

**Leila: **_**"Did he just say she looked sexy? Oh freak and gag me! Does his squinty eyes not notice how poorly she dresses? Pink and white striped tube tops do not go with zebra shorts and cream Ugg, honey. That just doesn't WORK! It makes me think of this one time when my one friend was going to an awards show and she wore this retarded bird outfit thing after I told her not to."**_

"Not that I'm telling everyone here to wear bows or anything. That'd be kind of weird."

"Not that we would all wear bows _anyways_," Tawni said.

Chris chuckled lowly to himself. "Yeah, right. Like you wouldn't wear a bow if I told you to."

"I wouldn't." She smiled back at him, determination flashing through her eyes.

"You say it, but babe saying and doing are two wickedly different things." He brushed a hand through Maddie's hair and touched her bow for the sixth time. "I told my producers and stuff that I wanted this to go quick, that'd I'd torment the crap out of you all and have everyone racing home before the first night was up. Yet look around. Here I am, there you are, in a restaurant having some sort of date. Go figure."

"But Chris, what do you plan on doing once this is all said and done?" Katroina cut in, sensing it was a good time. "I mean you can't go on 'acting' and doing reality shows and announcing and modeling and… well, living the life of a famous bachelor."

"Why the heck not?"

"You're a person, Chris. You're just like everyone you're out with right now." No one noticed the snort from Leila's direction. "And no offense, but you need to grow up and realize that you're an adult with adult decisions and a lot of influence. You need to realize the world is bigger than you and your fame."

**Katroina: **_**"I came on this show to win Chris' heart and that's the truth from the bottom of my heart. But I want to see him better himself so much. He can be better than what he is, I just know it!"**_

Chris laughed. "I'll get on top of that for you, sweetie, just as soon as my _political party_ gets up and running." She slapped a hand to her face, feeling utterly defeated at the moment.

"I think you're fine," Al said reassuringly. "Though maybe your extremes are kind of out there… and you're womanizing is a bit hard to take in. But other than that I think you're fine."

He smiled at her with hard eyes. "Thanks, but you insulted me twice."

"No I didn't, I told two facts about you. They're not insulting really, just true. You are a bit of a sadist and you hit on girls."

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it realizing it was spot on. "Huh," he said. "Touché."

* * *

"Alright guys… when I say, 'fire,' shoot the damn thing. Got it?"

"Got it!"

"I don't think this is a good idea you two…"

"_Whatever_… anyways…"

"You can't just do this without consulting us. What if you really hurt one of them?"

"Not only that, but our ammo will be gone…"

"For Christ's sake we already agreed we'd fire-"

Krissy never got to finish her sentence as Vikki lit up some sort of high-tech looking cannon Vikki recalled seeing in the basement when she was looking for rooms to stay in. The cannon had shot their extra bullets out in a bundle and Vikki had dodged the cannon as it whipped back at the force. Some of the red paint balls had remained in their cluster while other splattered at the impact of the bang.

Kristina, Lauren, Roxie, Sapphire, and Shelly looked gravely out pass at their two impulsive teammates. They'd be hearing the repercussions of their actions soon enough seeing how it was aimed at the Elimination Garden was with an unsuspecting Red Team loitering around in it…

* * *

"I plan on getting into cartooning and short films as soon as I have gotten a good education. Art is a good field but it can be quite competitive at times. It's good to have something to fall back on that may be more promising," Dawn explained to Charlie. Seeing how the Blue Team had yet to attack, they were sticking around waiting since they didn't have to worry about defense (1) anymore.

Lea looked up from her spot on a riser and narrowed her eyes at an object aimed right for them. It looked suspicious to say the least. "Not to cause any alarm, but it would seem as if there is a group of what would appear to be red paintball bullets falling from the sky and aimed right at us."

"WHAT?" Serenity looked up and grimaced. "How can you tell what they are?"

"She's good like that," Bell answered.

**Bell: **_**"I think it's weird how Lea can notice the smallest of details from the piece off hair that longer than the rest on your head to a bunch of paintballs falling at us from way up high and yet she doesn't notice things like Lena's shoe falling on her head or the volleyball that smacked her in the face." She laughed. "It's actually kinda funny!"**_

"Should we humor them or just move?" Charlie asked the group, who simultaneously agreed to move. They sprinted behind trees, the risers, a fountain, and larger shrubbery (Lena was content with hiding in her tree – the branches were large enough to duck for cover under) as the paint balls cracked under pressure and speed and tiny red sprits fell down. Seconds after the large clump of red smashed into the ground and shattered apart like glass. A violent explosion of red paint splattered onto the area landing precisely where Chris liked to stand during elimination.

The girls all peaked out from their spots with a dusting of red splatters on them.

**Serenity: **_**"It turns out that you can't avoid that stuff. But I think I'd rather have it splashed on me than have it shot at me."**_

On cue the girls on the Blue Team used the 'Red Paint Bomb' as a distraction and were down the moment it exploded, aiming and firing shots off at the Red Team. The Red girls fired back quickly. Then –

"PHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIEW!" a whistle sounded off over the ever-magically appearing speakers. "Time's up! Report back to the Helipad!"

The girls sighed, annoyed that they were called back when they were finally having fun. Though the Blue Team was a bit more annoyed when they noticed something…

**Shelly: **_**"They're wearing stuff over their suits!"**_

* * *

"Alright ladies, time to hit the road. Except for you Leila. We need to hang for a bit."

"No problem," the blond beauty said, trying not to look too ecstatic and relieved.

Stormy's haze eyes shot up from her book and through the flyaway strands of her red hair and looked at Chris in confusion. "Should I stay back then too?"

He arched a brow. "Eh? Why would you?"

She tucked her pen into her book and shut it, pushing it aside and giving him her attention. "Are we going to do my one-on-one time here? Now? Or are we doing it later?"

He studied her and laughed, making everyone confused. "Yeah – _no_. There's no way I'm about to go one-on-one with you. Leila's taking your time. We have some things to discuss."

Stormy furrowed her brows. "But I don't understand. I thought… I mean, the challenge…"

"Means nothing to me," he said flatly. "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. End of story." He looked back up at the girls and waved them off. "I'll be seeing you all tonight at elimination!"

They all walked over and said bye to the host as Stormy sat there pulling a Lea – starring at something no one else could really see. Once everyone was leaving she got up and walked out with the rest of her team with her book in her hand. She hadn't bothered to open it and take notes on this recent happening.

"Now that she's been dealt with…" he turned back around to Leila, who claimed Al's seat beside him and had her hand rubbing his thigh. He gripped her wrist and tried to lift her hand off but she tightened her grip. "What do you want?"

"You," she licked her lips and dove in to kiss him.

He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Listen, I don't want _you_, so you're wasting your time."

She laughed dryly. "You just rejected that red head writing freak for me. I think you just might be lying to yourself, tiger." He winced at the lame pet name. The first time she used that (five minutes into the relationship) was the moment he realized he should've turned her down. "I know this can't be your style. Why don't I just help you sabotage the game and in the end you can pick me?"

"I…" he paused. Did he still want to throw the game…?

"Keep me around for a while," she said. "And I'll get you reasons to not trust these bitches. Then you can go back to your original plans and just let me win. Imagine how great it'll feel to know you're not letting anyone take advantage of you since you already know I won't." She gave him a dangerous smile. "Leila Claires _never_ makes the same mistake twice."

Chris and Leila stared at each other. His eyes were dark and his face blank. Her eyes were bright and her face was glowing with mischief. "I got you a limo because there's no way in hell I'm going back with you," he said simply, breaking his eyes away.

"And about my offer…?"

He stepped out the door making sure not to break his strides and ignoring her pleas for attention.

* * *

Stormy stared at the scribbled notes and comments in her book feeling empty. She had been so excited, so thrilled to finally get some time alone with Chris. To get to know him. To talk to him. To let him know her. She should've known it was stupid to get her hopes up.

No one missed the tears drag across her freckled cheeks as she muffled her sniffs. And no one felt good about it.

* * *

"So, you _maggots_ turned into _flies_. That was nice use of strategy – I'd be proud to fight on the frontline with any of you ladies." The Red Team was taking off the layers of 'really nice drapes,' which they 'borrowed' from the rooms they were originally assigned to and wrapped themselves in. Apparently the loophole Lea had discovered worked – since no one said they couldn't hide their outfits they did so. Because of this they had gotten to not only win the challenge but they also came away with only paint spots on their goggles and faces.

"As for you maggots," Chef turned back on the Blue Team, who was sure to be covered with bruises where all the blue paint hit them. "You can't even be called that. You're too weak and useless to be considered even _that_," he spat out. He looked back to the winning team. "Now, you're not getting exemption or a date or anything, but I did pick you up these."

Chef tossed little trophies at them. The girl's faces lit up and fell as they noticed a few details about the plastic baubles. "Chef, how come these have a kid kicking a soccer ball at the top?" Charlie asked.

"And why is mine inscribed to a David Collins for being a good goalie…?"

Chef's good mood flicked off. "YOU LITTLE INGRATES! IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM, GIVE THEM BACK!" The girls decided the soccer trophies were fine and no one said another word about it.

* * *

"Elimination time, ladies. I hope you know the drill by now. But for Leila's sake, I guess I should review!" The smiling Chris made everyone uneasy. Something was off and no one liked the fact Leila was still here and standing right by Chris with an innocent smile. Innocence can only win you so many points when you're so close to a love interest. "So I give you chocolate – imported from a country that escapes my mind at the moment, but who cares? It's good stuff – or grapes and from there you get on the risers and silently applaud your victory since no one wants to hear your annoying rants about how thankful you are and so-on. It gets old fast. If you don't get anything, then take your bags to the Helipad of Shame, climb aboard the Helicopter of Losers, and fly off knowing you will never come back… _ever_."

**Shelly: **_**"I like how Chris says that. Am I the only one who thinks he talks cool…?"**_

Chris picked a piece of candy up and handed it over to Leila with his eyes half lidded and his lips down. "Any shit pulled or any details messed with and you're not going to be on the receiving end of some serious maiming, got it?"

She smiled sweetly. "You bet." She pecked his cheek and ran over to the risers. Unhappy expressions took over the panicked ones.

**Charlie: **_**"She's a nice girl, but I just get this feeling that Chris doesn't really like her. Why would he keep her around if he doesn't like her?"**_

**Leila: **_**"Chris is going down like the buildings in New York like I saw in some monster flick where I had a cameo in and it was cool because the camera was shaky and it actually made me kind of sick to watch and I sued the directors and stuff because I didn't want people associating my good looks with being sick because that'd be bad for my public image. Seriously bad."**_

Chris looked at the girls and felt his chest get heavy. Some of them were alright with this new twist while others… didn't look too hot. "Shelly, come get this." Shelly came up and pulled off a small smile as she got her candy, but she looked upset. He felt a shot of something negative crawl up his back and he decided he didn't like her upset. "Roxie… Lea.... Maddie." She came up and took a chocolate, popping it in mouth and winking and he laughed at the cute bow bopping on her head as she bounced over to her spot on the risers. "Tawni…Lena… Katroina… Charlie… Dawn… Al… Lauren… Kristina… Serenity… Sapphire… KK… Bell…"

Stormy and Vikki were the final two left. Stormy bit her lip and furrowed her brows.

"And sorry, Vikki, but this last chocolate goes to Stormy. She didn't turn my entire garden red, so she gets to stay."

"What?" Vikki blinked in amazement. "Whoa. Well… I mean… okay." She came up and hugged Chris, waving goodbye to the girls as she walked off.

**Vikki: **_**"I really wasn't expecting it. I hadn't gotten time to even get to know him. How fair is that? I guess all I can do now is get back to my band in Caro and hope for the best for both of us."**_

"Stormy," Chris repeated in impatience. Was this girl ever going to come up and take this or what -?

_Slap._

It wasn't strong, but oh did it elicit gasps. Chris blinked and felt a slight sting on his cheek but it wasn't tough enough to even make him turn red there. He looked down at a miserable face and a ticked off Stormy.

"I want to get to know you," she said. "I want you to know me. I can't do that if you don't give me a chance, Chris! It's not okay! If you don't like me and don't want me around, then don't keep me here! It's that easy!"

**Stormy: **_**"I'm not an emotional person… it's just I really don't know how to handle this at all. I snapped a bit."**_

Chris looked at her – really looked at her – and seemed to notice her as something other than the freaky girl with the writing problems. She seemed so much more _real_. "It's also easy to keep you here." He smirked as her scornful expression dropped and he put the candy in her hand, kissed her forehead, and pushed her to the risers. He looked at the camera. "The only place on television that has hot girls, a hotter host, and drama – ladies and gents – _The Challenges of Love_."

* * *

It was so late. It must have been two in the morning. Lena and Maddie had pounced on him the second eliminations were over and ensured he'd stay downstairs and hang out a bit. By the time they fell asleep, he wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed – they defiantly had more energy than him, that's for sure.

He tiptoed up the stairs and went over to his door. A girl still strapped in her formal wear leaning against his door made him pause, but he continued forward when he was sure she was awake. "Didn't you go to bed a while ago?"

Roxie's bright oceanic eyes were hooded as she looked up at him. "I didn't want to without talking to you first. I don't believe in going to sleep when you're mad at someone."

He tilted his head. "You're mad at me?"

"Not exactly mad, just… I don't know! I… I don't want to be played either and I was thinking about what Stormy said and I heard what happened on the date. I needed to feel something from you and know it was sincere and if I don't I'll go right now."

He realized it was hard to study a person's face when it's pitch black and in the middle of the night. "I don't know what you're getting at."

He heard her sigh and an instant later felt her breath moving up, so he leaned forward to meet her hot lips and press his against hers. It was too much though. With the few drinks he had, late hour, growing stress, these new feelings, all of it… he had her pushed against his door and put her under an onslaught of rough and demanding kisses and touches within seconds.

"Chris? Roxie?" The two looked over at Lea, who was in a white robe looking through the darkness at their outlines from the dim night light from the window. The two parted and bid her and each other good night. Lea didn't agree with them though. Not at all.

**

* * *

**

**(1) – the reason they didn't have to worry about defense was because of the outfit adjustments they made - just in case anyone found that confusing….**

**I was thinking about it, and I honestly don't think I could leave this fic even if I wanted to (which – don't worry – I absolutely do not want to). I love writing this, the oc's are fun as heck, and you're all so cool. Besides, I have a feeling I'd get anthrax in my mailbox if I stopped, and knowing that is great motivation for me to carry onward! Thanks for the threats guys, they warm the heart and really do work :D**

**Thanks go out to: everyone who bothers reading these au's, all reviewers, people who faved/alerted/both myself/fic/both, and all who checked out my other fic and did the above**

**Special Thanks: Queen O' Randomness (it's your b-day lol), 1000GreenSun (cuz your cool like that), Santi48 (duh – superheroes stick together), HowlingWulf (my email is being dumb, so next chapter lol), . (you're name always comes up as a freaking dot or two dots. Seriously – I think I thanks you every chapter and your name only came up once… oh well it happens XP), and One Black Rose (hope your auditions went well)**

**Like it? Hate it? Love it? Let me know it – review/pm. **


	10. Mission This Is Not Possible Pt I

**The Challenges of Love**

**10. Mission This is Not Possible Pt. I (When Hell Met Earth)**

* * *

_**ART SHOUT OUT!**_** So… any of you interested in viewing some mad skills provided by members of the reading audience? Well they made some awesome fan art! Here's what's up so far in order of when I got them and links will be in my profile (just remove the spaces here first):**

**- ****'Maddie from TCOL fic' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Maddie-from-TCOL-fic-112250649**

**-****'Maddie and Kristen' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Maddie-and-Kristen-112251230**

**-****'Maddie and Krissy' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Maddie-and-Krissy-112272030**

**-****'Maddie's Sexy Car' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Maddie-s-sexy-car-112252869**

**-****'Blinded by the Dark – Maddie' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Blinded-by-the-Dark-Maddie-112253498**

**-'****Al Lovett' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Al-Lovett-112255163**

**-****'Al' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Al-113334796**

**-****'Lauren' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Lauren-112255864**

**-****'Stormy' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Stormy-112270716**

**-****'Roxie' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Roxie-113334234**

**-****'Volleyball' by Santi48:**** http: // x-raynbow. deviantart. com /art/ Volleyball-113334068**

**-'****TDI dog style – Charlie' by HolwingWulf:**** http: // thewolfruler. deviantart. com /art/ TDI-dog-style-Charlie-114048974**

'**Katroina' by LogicalTiger:**** http: // i545. Photobucket. Com /albums/ hh394 / logicaltiger **

**Thank you Santi48, HowlingWulf, and LogicalTiger so much for allowing me to share your wonderful creations and for doing them in the first place. They make my heart sing XD **

**I do not own Total Drama Island or Total Drama Action in any way, shape, or form. This also holds true to the phenomenally phenomenal oc's.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love_

_-Ladies Left: 18_

* * *

Lauren looked down at her card that she had found under her toothbrush that morning. It said in a boyish scribble to report to the former camera room by the confessional at nine that morning. She wasn't too sure what the deal was, but was too curious to ignore it. (The big red letters on the bottom of the card that said: DO NOT IGNORE THIS also strengthened her resolve). She tucked the card into her skirt pocket and opened the door. It was pitch black and not even the hallway light was enough to make her see anything. "Anyone here?" she asked.

"Maaaaaaybe…"

Lauren calmed down at hearing Chris' voice and she stepped in and shut the door. A light flicked on in the middle of the room and it illuminated Chris smiling brighter than the bulb and sitting at a desk. It made her feel like she was in some spy movie.

"Laruen! Good to see you! I hope you're ready for the mission today: _Influencing the Competition_! You're going to be given missions along with every girl in the house. Your goal is to complete more missions than anyone else in the house and trying to sabotage their missions. You only get your next mission after completing the first."

"Well _that_ sounds like a fun way to spend my day," Laruen said sarcastically, only wondering what horrors she'd be put through.

"A wicked awesome date goes out to the winner," the brown haired host added. "But there are ways you get eliminated from the challenge, so be careful for them too. If you tell anyone your mission, if it's not carried out within the hour, or if anyone manages to sabotage it you're out! Think you can handle it?"

"Chris, you're looking at your winner!" Lauren said. "What do I have to do?"

"Great enthusiasm! You're going to need it because get this: you have to get three people to claim their love for Chef's food… in the Confessional!"

Lauren's smile faultered. "The Confessional? The place where people go to tell the truth? And I can't tell anyone about it?...Uh hey, Chris, you sure that's _my_ mission…?"

* * *

This same fate befell all the other girls, which was probably the reason for the house being so eerily quiet and why everyone was a bit more on edge than usual. Chris, Chef, and the camera crew were exceptions since most of them were watching this from the 'mission room' while passing around fattening snacks and making bets on who'd win and who'd lose.

Leila, who had won a few camera crew member's votes, enjoyed her mission more so than the other girls. Chris had told her to prove that she was worth keeping and that she knew him well by getting a girl to eliminate herself. For each girl won that's equal to five missions completed. It was just her luck that she'd walk into the kitchen and find Bell glaring down a box of raisins, muttering about how she hates these challenges more and more.

"What's the matter, hon?" Leila said in a soothing voice, keeping up her friendly rouse. So far she was good friends with everyone in the house and she wasn't about to mess it up now even though it'd help her win.

"I _hate_ raisins," Bell complained, trying to eat one and gagging.

"Ah…" So her mission was to eat a box of raisins? Psh, Chris was going soft. Then again, this girl did not look healthy or happy by any means. "You know, is Chris worth eating yourself dead through a box of this dried up fruit?"

"Well he's a cool guy," Bell said. "I mean I'd do anything for a friend."

"Wait, so you only see Chris as a friend?"

"Yeah, I came here for the excitement, y'know?"

"Oh, believe me, _I know_." Leila put a comforting hand on Bell's shoulder and sighed. "Bell, listen, by you staying here you are sending home girls that actually like Chris and want to be with him. All those girls that went home before you that have feelings for him could have caught his eye by now. I don't want to come off cruel, but you're being selfish if you're putting your wants over so many other girls."

Bell blinked and put the raisins down. "Huh, you know, I think your right. I didn't think about it that way before… I feel so… _bad_."

"Bell, you know we all love you here at the house and you've been honest since day one! There's nothing to be ashamed about! But these girl's hearts are _on the line_, so please think about them."

Bell shot up and wiped her eyes. "I… I'm going to go home. I can't stay here when everyone loves this guy and I'm just a friend!" She looked over at Leila and hugged her. "Thank you for making me see how mean I was! I had no idea, honest! I was so caught up on the fun I just –"

"Shhh… it's okay. Here, I'll even go with you to make it easier…"

The camera crew who put money on Bell groaned as they forked money out of their pockets and threw it on the table.

"Man, I liked her. She didn't bother me," Chris grumbled, smiling at the pile of cash he was sure he would feel fill his pocket.

"I didn't like her!" Chef countered, having the same thoughts Chris was having as the poor camera members changed their votes around. "But I don't really like any of them. I never do. Who does the casting for these shows? What, do you not pay them too, Chris? Huh?"

Chris suddenly became interested in the screens of the girls racing through the house. "Your check is, uh, in the mail dude."

* * *

"I can't believe Bell voted herself off!" Serenity looked sadly down at the ground, feeling more hopeless about her friend leaving than she did about her current impossible mission: getting Maddie and Krissy to kiss. She looked over at Lea, who was currently sitting back coolly and didn't seem interested in whatever her mission was or the fact Bell left. "Why aren't you upset? Bell was awesome! And wasn't she a fun roommate?"

"I suppose so," Lea answered softly, her eyes wondering around the pool area lazily.

"I didn't think she'd feel that bad about staying either. What if she would've stayed and really fell for Chris? And I'd rather see _Krissy_ go home than her."

"Well, let's think about this for a moment: Bell is having the time of her life then all of a sudden she decides to leave the same day our challenge is mission-oriented. If you connect the dots –"

"It was someone's mission to get her to leave!" Serenity said, snapping up. "And I'm going to find out who would stoop that low even for a challenge! Thanks, Lea. For being kinda quiet, you're okay."

Serenity took off and Lea sighed and stood once she was alone. The calm girl went over and put what looked like a cherry bomb in with two others she had in a bag, tried to hide them from site, and went up for her next mission.

The group of individuals that bet on her cheered in the mission room.

* * *

There she was: victim one of two. This 'victim' had her blue-green eyes were transfixed on an iPhone with a few papers next to her. She clicked her tongue and tapped her fingers on the table and looked as if she wanted to be anywhere else in the world. It was the perfect situation.

"Dawn baby, what's up?" Krissy purred as she slinked into the living room and sat beside the busty girl.

Said girl inched away carefully and slowly. "Yeah, don't call me baby again. That's weird to hear from you."

Krissy laughed obnoxiously loud and keeled over slapping her own knee in hysterics. Dawn arched a brow at her and decided it would be safest to just leave her sanctuary all together and pursue her mission elsewhere.

**Dawn: "**_**During the number challenge at the mall when we all came outside I saw Chris texting and told him I didn't like it. I think it dehumanizes people and they act differently in texts than they do when you're both face to face. I'd rather talk to people in person or hear their voice than get a quick message saying, 'Yo sexi wats up?' Then again, I never thought buying a cell phone was really necessary since I always find something more important to spend the money on like school or groceries. I'm starting to regret sharing this with him since now I have to send sixty texts to all his friends – and they are looong."**_

"Wait!" Krissy's laughs were cut off and replaced with a worried shriek as she glomped the black haired student, who was so bombarded she fell back onto the floor.

Wincing in pain, Dawn carefully put the materials for her mission down. She tried feeling around for her glasses that came flying off during the transaction and was hoping the bump forming on her head was just her imagination. "Ow - what was _that_ about? And do you see my glasses anywhere?"

Krissy forced Dawn's glasses down on her face and caused the girl even more pain. Dawn blinked up and felt uncomfortable with the situation. "Krissy, you're straddling me. Just so you know."

"I do know! I'm not a retard!" Dawn resisted the urge to just try to suffocate herself right then and there since Krissy didn't seem at all bothered by this like she was. "Now I need you to be my friend!"

Dawn would've laughed if her head didn't hurt so much from the fall. "Are you serious? What is that your mission?"

**Krissy: **_**"Psh, it is NOT my mission to make one friend… my mission is to get **_**two**_** friends. Take that!"**_

"Just shut up and be my friend, dammit!"

"Krissy, don't take this the wrong way –"

"If you'll be my friend I'll get off you, deal? 'Cuz I'll tell you what Small Town, I can be here _all day long_."

She sat up and smiled down at her 'friend' who looked like she wanted nothing more than to throttle the brunette until her fake eyelashes came off.

Serenity, who was off trying to brainstorm the girl that'd get girls voted off, paused at the living room door and backtracked. "Do I even want to know what you guys are doing…?"

Dawn took the moment of Krissy's shock to snake out of the straddle, grab her stuff, and rocket away. Krissy's eyes went icy and she was taking off right after her. "Dawn get your ass back here and be my freakin' friend, you bitch!"

Serenity was left alone feeling very confused but slightly optimistic: it looked as if getting Krissy to kiss a girl wouldn't be too hard! Too bad this girl was Maddie…

* * *

"I think we both know what I want I have in mind for you."

She crossed her arms and inched away subconsciously; she was having a gut feeling that Chris would be making her cross a line she was not planning on crossing. "I dunno. Run it by me and we'll see."

The sly grin on his face grew wider as he pulled out a box that had Betsey Johnson written in pink on it. She gulped as he opened the lid and revealed a frilly dark blue strapless dress with a puffed out bottom, a black bow at the hips, and sequins. It was glittery, it was sparkly, it was _girly_.

"Chris," Tawni said trying to control her waves of anger. "I'm not putting that on. Give me a different mission."

"Hmmm… how about no?"

She cracked her knuckles. "_Yes_."

"No!"

"_Yes_."

"Nope."

"_Yes_."

"Noooooooooo way, dudette."

"_Yes_ way, dude!

"Not happening."

"I'll make it!"

"You do that."

"I will!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"… It'd be great for the ratings!"

"So would me punching your face in, which is what I plan on doing if you don't _change _the_ mission_."

Chris put the dress down. "You really won't?" She nodded firmly.

Chef appeared from the darkness and growled. "You don't like the dress I picked out? You're going down, Tomboy!"

"Bring it, old man!"

The two ended up tossing punches back and forth in the darkness and Chris shrunk away into the 'safe' corner with the camera crew. "Eh, she's dangerous, but did you see how hot she looked?! Totally worth risking their safety and a few law suits. Totally worth it."

* * *

Charlie wasn't enjoying the task at hand. Not a bit. Of all the unspeakable horrors she could be put through, she just couldn't understand the reasoning behind this one. Why did Chris want her to go out a find a guy and make out with him for five minutes?

First of all, it would be awkward sine the only male options here would be the camera and tech members which she had seemingly overlooked and Chef. Yeah, not happening. Secondly… why did he want her to cheat on him? She didn't understand what could be going through the guy's head! She'd be furious with herself if she even considered going through with it!

Why did he keep her challenges he knew she'd pass up? It wasn't fair. Didn't he want to get to know her? Or was she just something he messed with for fun?

"Hey Charlie!" Krissy walked over and fit her arm around the columnist's shoulders. She was panting from chasing Dawn around. "You look like you could use a friend! Which is something I could use, too!"

"Not now, Krissy," Charlie muttered miserably, leaving the room. "I'm too upset to deal with you."

**Krissy: **_**"Doesn't anyone in this place want a hot friend?"**_

* * *

Serenity narrowed her eyes. "Shelly, it's got to be her. She's the one behind Bell leaving."

Lea covered her mouth and yawned. The two had moved onto the roof where Shelly was making a long rope out of bed sheets. "What makes you say that?"

"Think about it, Lea. She was a cheerleader! If anyone knows how to manipulate people it's former cheerleaders. And she seems so laid back but I'm sure that's just her angle."

"Really?" Lea blinked at Shelly who looked up and waved a bit before getting back to her project at hand. "I wonder where she found the time to convince Bell to leave considering she's been up here ever since she got her mission this morning."

Serenity opened her mouth to say something but her head fell forward. "I didn't know… I don't keep no tabs on people!"

Lea bit her lip. "Um… that's a double negative…"

"Don't even give me another language lesson," Serenity mumbled as Shelly tied her sheet-rope to a handle bar by the helipad and went to work completing her first mission: scaling the fortress.

* * *

It was like killing a child. A poor, defenseless child. A poor, defenseless child with glossy puppy-dog eyes and a cute little pout that had AIDS and was an orphan with no food and wore rags and lived in a beat-up cardboard box in Alaska. Only somehow it was so much worse than that because Al wasn't killing a child, she was destroying…

"This is the cruelest thing I've ever had to do!"

Musical instruments.

A guitar, a drum set, a bass, and a keyboard. To make things worse? Chris had her iPod so she had to listen to each once beautiful piece of music making wonder cry out as she tossed it into a large fire. It was painful to watch these top of the line instruments burn to ashes, but better than throwing them around in her eyes. This way they at least went out in style.

"Whoa, harsh challenge, Al," Maddie said. She was walking over with a large hair magazine filled with different styles and cuts.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad. I don't think I want to get another one, but I need to get some one-on-one time. I need to be more than that girl who has great taste in music!" She arched a brow at the magazine, getting a bit worried since she wasn't sure what Maddie's challenge was yet.

Maddie noticed this and laughed. "Psh, _you_ don't have to worry…"

* * *

"Harvard! What's up? Where you on the receiving end of any nasty challenges yet or what?"

Katroina came into the room looking confused and dripping wet with a picture of Chris in her hands. She dropped the frame on the table and started to try and squeeze the chlorine from her shirt. "That's the _third_ time you sent me into the pool for your picture and it's the _third_ time I got it back for you!... Wait, did you just call me Harvard?"

"That I did, Harvard, that I did. But let's not overlook the fact that you have three missions under your belt which is a pro, riiiight?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, but I wish you'd at least give me back my bathing suits, which I still don't –"

She was cut off by Chef and Tawni as they went flying over the table in a tangled, bruised blur. Katroina backed up a bit with wide eyes and Chris' smirk blew into a dazzling smile. "Did Tawni and Chef just go over the table?"

"You bet."

"And they were both strangling each other…?"

"That's right."

"… I can't say I wasn't expecting that eventually… oh well, the focus here is on my next mission!" She turned to Chris and gave him her best determined face. "I'm ready, though I hope you'll at least be considerate enough to give me something different at the very least."

Chris smirked and leaned in and grabbed Katroina's shirts, feeling the beads of chlorine drip down to his skin. "It is cold… I guess it would a tool move to make you do it again." She nodded, hoping he was having a nice guy epiphany or something. He smirked and tossed the picture to a cameraman who raced out of the room at the speed of lightening. "He'll put it in the hot tub for ya this time."

* * *

"Hey Stormy!" The red head tensed up and pressed harder. She only had this seemingly annoyed reaction whenever the closest thing she had to a friend came around: _Lena_.

**Stormy: **_**"That… tree-hugger… she won't stop trying to do what she calls 'make friends' with me. Ugh, it's so horrible. Why can't she shun me like her other actual friends?" She stands up and points at the camera with her book looking enraged. "WHY DON'T YOU SHUN ME, WOMAN?!"**_

"Whacha working on?" Lena asked sweetly, peering over her 'friend's' shoulder and hoping to get a peek at the text scribbled in the notebook. "Is it for your mission?"

Stormy snapped her book shut and cast angry eyes at Lena. "I'm not doing my dumb mission."

Lena looked alarmed and she cupped her mouth with her hands. Stormy felt the thrill of victory, but it was torn from her as Lena dropped her hands to reveal a perky smile. "Me neither! Chris wanted me to eat all the meat in the fridge and even got permission from Chef. I told him there was no way I would and he tried to get me to cut down trees in the yard and I think I cried but I'm not too sure and he gave me a blank stare which means he's kinda ticked but more annoyed and he tried getting me to-"

**Stormy: **_**"I don't know what she knows more about: Chris, the environment, or making me suicidal."**_

"- but I told him that I would just skip out on the challenge and I thought he'd be mad but he tilted his head which is like his way of saying he's confused but it seemed like he was more upset and so-"

**Stormy: **_**She's banging her book to her head.**_

"- and we got so off topic and were having such a fun conversation and I always love talking to him but he was a bit more open than usual and then I think Chef's shoe whirled past my head at some point –"

**Dawn: **_**"I am so relieved to be finished with the first challenge at long last! I'm not looking forward to going back up for my next mission, but…" Dawn pauses as stomps echo down the hallway. Suddenly the camera moves to the door which is violently shaking as someone/something bangs against it. "Who's that?" It all goes silent and the door flies open and into the camera, blurring out the scene.**_

"- and I left but I was in there for a good three hours and feels that sort of compensates for a date, you know? But still I'm jealous because he told me it was really cute, though not really in that exact wording." She smiled dreamily and sat down beside Stormy. "So, what was _your_ mission?"

Stormy twitched. "Read a passage of my book aloud."

"Neat! Why don't you go for it?"

"Why don't you stop harassing me?"

Lena laughed. "Harassing you? I'm just trying to be your friend! I don't give up on people, Storm!"

Stormy twitched once more. "My name is not Storm, it's Stormy."

"That's why your nickname is not Stormy, it's Storm!"

**Stormy: **_**"There's no winning with her. None at all." A hand is seen rising up and Stormy throws her book at it and it comes down. Stormy looks up and shrugs. "I really wanted to get into the confessional when Dawn was here. She's under the door right now… I don't think she's doing too well."**_

* * *

Sapphire bit her lip and rubbed the back of her head nervously. This just wasn't looking like it was going to go well at all. She just wanted everyone to get along. Was it really so hard to expect? Here she was in a house full of adults and everyone acted like a bunch of middle schoolers.

Take now for instance. When Maddie could be the bigger person and try to kindly ask Krissy if she could give her a haircut for her mission to change her rival's hair (Chris wanted to see her mad skills so he started her off easy), she didn't do that. Instead she tried to find the most horrendous of cuts and 'surprise' Krissy while she was trying to convince Sapphire into being her friend or something. Krissy noticed the scissor's gleam from the corner of her eye and turned around in time to save her luscious brown locks.

And that's when Hell met Earth.

"What the fuck are you trying to do?"

"Cut your hair, what's it look like?"

"Now that we're clear on how much of a bitch you are, since you just admitted to making me your personal hair-care Barbie, how about you step off and let me get back to my friend?"

"Actually," Sapphire said softly. "W-we're n-not… err… friends really…"

"Then you're a bitch too, you bitch!"

"You call people a bitch a lot," Maddie observed, swinging he scissors around her fingers. "Do you feel like a hypocrite when you say it?"

"Step off, blondie! Wait, you're not even naturally blond! You bleach your hair! It's as fake as your boobs and as dry as your personality."

"Dry personality? That's so lame! And these are real thanks. Unlike you I don't have Dr. Frankenstein's number on speed dial so he can mess up my face as bad as yours."

"Dr. Frankenstein? You're the lame-o now! Who makes move references when they're insulting someone? Especially when they're wrong – Frankenstein was the monster not the doctor!"

"Lame-o? What kind of freak-a-zoid says lame-o? And by the way, Frankenstein was named after the doctor who was actually the one named Frankenstein. DUH!"

"Well I – wait, really? Huh, go figure."

"At least that's what the kid I made do my project in my language arts class told me."

Krissy looked as if a beam of light came down on Maddie. "I always made other people do my projects, too!"

"I didn't always, but I had to work with this boy who liked me and I wanted to go see Brokencyde the week it was due so he just went to town… who am I to stop him?"

"Anyways! You're such a sweetheart. And oh my god, I have to say that those shorts are a freakin' must have for my closet!"

Sapphire felt like she missed something. She stared back and forth between the pair. A moment ago they were at each other's throat with blood lust in the eyes and now they were complimenting each other. What the heck just happened here? She sighed and decided to get back to completing her mission of having to litter around Lena or Katroina (something she wasn't thrilled about) when a voice stopped her.

"Sapphire, it was you!" Sapphire looked beside her to see Serenity give her an accusing glare. "I know you – oh wait, hang on, I want to complete my mission here real quick since I can."

Serenity went up and smashed the girl's heads together, locking their lips in a kiss. Serenity turned back to Sapphire as the rivals behind her ripped apart. They called each other 'bitch this' and 'slut that' before stomping away planning one another's downfall. "Now, let's talk shall we?"

* * *

**Dawn: **_**She gets up holding her head. "Ugh… what happened… and why was I under a door…?"**_

**Serenity: **_**"So I talked to Sapphire and she's not behind Bell going home… and in case she was, I told her she wasn't allowed to do her missions anymore. She seemed okay with it, she's nice you know. But if it isn't her, who could it be?..."**_

**Kristina: **_**"Chris gave me the challenge of getting people to admit their challenges and so far I've only been able to get Bell who left and Stormy to tell me anything. Lena did, but she seemed to have more like fifty. Seriously, what's up with that? And to make things weirder, Leila was talking to me earlier about leaving and trying to almost get me to go home… it was awkward! She only left when I told her I wouldn't leave until Chris gave me up!... Which I don't want to happen!"**_

**Leila: **_**"This is so freaking hard. Chris is such a bastard. He would try to use what I said against me and 'prove' I'm not here to find the right one for him. I don't care. I'll win this, I know it. He's a guy, he can only be an ass to someone as hawt as me for so long."**_

**Katroina: **_**She is shaking and her skin is tinged red. "If Chris makes me go diving into any sort of body of water for his picture **_**one more time**_**, I'll get his 'cult' to turn on him that arrogant…" She looks down at the picture she keeps saving and looks away sheepishly. "It's a shame he's so good looking and I'm afraid to tell him so. God forbid I inflate his ego even more."**_

**Dawn: **_**"Seriously, how did I get under the door?!"**_

**Tawni: **_**"I've had it up to here with Chef treating me so poorly and snapping at me for practically nothing and for feeding us crap! As much as I like eating with Chris in his room, I can't keep getting disrespected like this!" She crosses her arms and huffs. "It's such a drag to have to be the one to step up when the other girls feel the same way."**_

**Madde: **_**She comes storming into the room and gags. "EWWWWWWWWWWWE I KISSED A GIRL AND I DID NOT LIKE IT!"**_

**Krissy: **_**She is avidly brushing her teeth. "Manniph isf sowowo gowing doowbn!" (Translation: Maddie is so going down.) She spits and glares. "I can't believe she kissed me I-" Her eyes grow wide. "If she likes me that much we can be FRIENDS! OH MADINA~!"**_

**Lena: **_**"It's upsetting I can't do any challenges. I keep popping in to see if Chris changed his mind about giving me one that doesn't threaten the environment or conflict with my beliefs. He's just being so stubborn. It's adorable, but I really want to win and must overlook his cuteness as he constantly tells me no and keep trying!... Awe, but his dimples as he gives me his sadist grin… ahh NO!"**_

**Lauren: **_**"This mission is impossible. Everyone hates Chef's food! I'm stuck on this first challenge! But wait, I can't say it but can I write it?!"**_

**Stormy: **_**Reading off a piece of paper. "I like Chef's food. Ewe what a lie."**_** (Lauren: 1, Chris: 0)**

**Al: **_**"My most recent challenge was to withstand thirty minutes of listening to the 'new and improved' playlists he put on my iPod. It's all… BLUEGRASS! He told me he doesn't listen to it but he wanted me to have a more varied taste. Grrr… Oh, and I li- oh, sorry Lauren, I can't lie. Chef, your food, it pretty much sucks." (Lauren: 1, Chris: 1)**_

**Shelly: **_**"My mission is to pantomime behind Chef, but Chef seems kind of, ah, busy at the moment so I'm not too sure what to do… Oh, and I… ugh, like Chef's food… gross…" (Lauren: 2, Chris: 1) **_

**Charlie: **_**"I feel like Chris and I are stuck and are going to constantly be at odds until one of us gives in and changes. We won't do that, we're alike in the sense that we're not about to change for anyone. Yet even knowing this, I can't leave him. Something is telling me to stay and I wish it would be him!.. Oh, and I like Chef's food. You owe me, Laruen, that was painful to say." (Lauren: 3, Chris: 1 – WE HAVE A WINNER!)**_

**Dawn: **_**"I mean people don't just wake up under doors with headaches and minor amnesia, right? Wait, my second challenge!" She sprints out of The Confessional and up to the mission room.**_

**Sapphire: **_**"I greatly enjoyed the exchange of insults between Krissy and Maddie. It was so intense! Fuahahaha… and I'm going up to see Tawni and Chef duke it out. Go Tawni!"**_

**Roxie: **_**"Everyone's getting missions. Some people are complaining about how they've made it to their twelfth! But Chris hasn't called me up yet… I wonder why that is?"**_

**Lea: **_**"Chris keeps giving me objectives that aren't all that difficult to live up to. Doesn't he realize by now that if sends me out to play Where's Waldo I'll get it done before a minute's up?"**_

* * *

**Here's Part I of 2. I wanted to post them together, but I bet you guys are dying lol so I'll put this up. I've been swamped. A new play is starting up (I got callbacks for the lead against my archrival, so it's INSANE!). Anywhosin, the next chapter will also be crazy and I bet no one will expect what will happen since I like twists and turns… unless you're a telepath. Then you not only know what'll happen, you're also really awesome.**

**SATs on the 14 guys, wish me luck! I hope to post part 2 this weekend after them and use the free time up well :)**

**(Thanks go out to: everyone who reviewed, made sure I was alive and updating, the pub room staff for their awesomeness, and RaeMarie (why don't cha get an account lol))and my WONDERFUL artists!**

**(Special Thanks go out to: The Feline/Long Lost Twin/Luckiest Person Alive, HowlingWulf, 1000GreenSun (I know, I deviated again… I'm just so unpredictable lol), and One Black Rose (your patience is greatly appreciated darling :D)**

**I also plan on next chapter being longer, so children keep the screen away from the eyes and read in a well lit room, please!**


	11. Mission This Is Not Possible Pt II

**The Challenges of Love**

**11. Mission This Is Not Possible Part II (A Different Sort of Skater Boy)**

**I do not own Total Drama Island or anything related and/or associated and/or any other sort of verb and/or noun that is not legal. I also have no ownership over the marvelously marvelous ladies.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely_

_-Ladies Left: 17_

* * *

It had to be one of Chris' favorite times of the day: snack time. As the girls went on with their missions, Tawni and Chef went on with their duel, and all the people on staff did whatever, Chris took the time to sneak off and a skip healthy lunch for chips and sugars. He couldn't help it if he enjoyed junk food to the point that of no return, could he? His only option was to indulge himself or suffer.

And Chris Maclean did not like to suffer. So as far as he was concerned, indulgence was the only way to go.

"Pringles… check… Doritos… check… whatever the hell that is… check… Gatorade… check… Chex Mix… check… Puppy Chow… check… brownies… check…"

"What's with the inventory check?!" Chris peaked over his shoulder. Serenity was giving him what could best be described as a motherly look as she eyed the fattening foods he was holding more tenderly than he had ever held another person.

He shrugged off the questioning stare and concerns as he walked over to the doorway she was standing in. "Isn't there a miracle you're supposed to be making happen for my entertainment?"

She looked a bit perplexed but smiled when she caught on. "Oh – the kiss! Yeah, I did that like two minutes ago."

"You WHAT?" He _almost_ dropped his snacks/lunch. "And I didn't get to see it? Psh, that's just uncool! Do it again only this time _when_ I'm near a camera to watch it go down, okay?"

"But that was a once in a lifetime event!" she argued.

"Yeah and I missed it!" He tried to picture two hot angry girls making out and discovered a new happy place. "You got to do it again. If I see the replay it, it won't be as good as seeing it live, y'know?"

"Err… no, I don't…" He smirked (his version of a 'whatever that's okay' since he couldn't shrug) and made wide strides to the Mission Room. Serenity caught up with him and kept his pace. "Hey, Chris, by the way I wanted to know if you could tell me –"

"- Who I gave the mission to kick girls off?" Serenity nodded. "No can do. It's way more fun to watch you falsely accuse people!"

"Hey, Chris." Chris and Serenity paused at the Confessional door as Roxie stepped out. "Do you think we can talk quick…?"

"Can't. I'm being interrogated."

Serenity laughed. "My interrogations would be way worse than just asking you questions."

"Worse?" Chris had a sudden spike in interest in the turn in conversation.

"Chris!" The three heads turned to Katroina, who came down the hallway with an air of superiority. She halted in front of Chris and jabbed a finger at his sweets. "What is all this?"

"Lunch!"

"I see…" She darted her eyes from his face to the pile. She dove in and grabbed as many treats as she could before taking off down the hall to put them back. "Watch _Supersize Me_ and you'll appreciate what I'm doing for you!"

**Katroina: **_**"I wonder how Chris stays in such great shape and is so healthy. All anyone ever sees him eat is junk food in large proportions!"**_

"Harvard! That's a low blow, honey, LOW BLOW!"

"Chris, please?" Roxie gave him a pleading look.

He held on tighter to what was left of his sweets. "Sure, let's hang."

"Wait Chris! What about the –"

"Listen, you go ahead and care about your little friends and whatnot, but leave me out of it. Now go work your magic and complete your mission!"

**Serenity: **_**"I'm not even going to try. There's no point – those two won't even be in the same room as each other anymore."**_

**Kristina: **_**She is struggling to put on a large black clock and pointy hat. "Chris, how am I supposed to get people to say, 'Lumos!' dressed like this? Didn't you hear me when I said I didn't enjoy Harry Potter?"**_

**Stormy: **_**She's writing with a smile. "It's really quiet in here!"**_

Serenity went off to go back to her detective work, leaving Roxie and Chris alone in the hall. He tilted his head and smirked. "So what's so important… or did you want to take advantage of me again?"

She hit his arm playfully and crossed her arms. "I did _not_ take advantage of you. You're the one that got carried away."

"You're the one that wanted… what was it… proof? As if I have anything to prove!"

Roxie smiled despite the tinge of worry. "You don't any more after you more than confirmed my feelings."

"Oho look who's all high and mighty." Chris leaned in and pecked her lips. "See? I don't get _carried away._ All that dancing and twirling is going to your head." She looked at him with her starry blue eyes and he leaned in again –

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything. Again." Chris shot back like a bullet and himself and Roxie looked over at Lea, who was holding up five time bombs. Her eyes were half lidded and she looked bored beyond belief. "Let me give you these and I'll be off." She tossed the bombs onto his snack pile – well she aimed for that, but they sailed right past his arms and into a lamp that crashed to the floor instead. She shook her head at her rotten luck and stared down the hall.

"Hey, hold up a second! What about your next mission?"

"Please, feel no obligation to be saccharine to me and reward my finds with even more tedious missions." She waved him off and went down the hall and out of sight.

**Lea: **_**"His intentions are pellucid to me now. He wants to waste my time hunting things down because he feels guilty. I saw it in his expression and heard it in his voice. Whether he knows he does I highly doubt."**_

Roxie watched as Chris sighed in defeat and mumbled something about 'bets' as he locked himself away in the Mission Room. She had wanted to ask him why she hadn't gotten any missions, but it would seem she had a more pressing issue to deal with first.

She needed to talk to Lea.

* * *

**Dawn: **_**She is giving a laptop a confused look as she holds it away from herself. "I can't even find the on switch. How am I supposed to send emails? His missions make me feel more like a secretary than a possible girlfriend…"**_

* * *

It was not an uncommon thing to find explosives and illegal chemicals around Chris' mansion. In fact, it was odd to not see them. The girls knew after day one that the camera crew would be having an editing field day before the show aired and that they themselves had to make sure to keep an eye out for fire hazards. This may be another reason why Lea's already easy mission was even easier. Not that this was the point because Shelly wasn't looking for things and she wasn't in a safe environment _at all_.

Shelly was standing in a place most people call a _minefield_. A helicopter dropped her down in the middle of one just a few moments ago. The reason Chris gave her was because people probably want to watch something exciting! The real reason is because _he_ probably wants to watch something exciting.

So Shelly's in a minefield. As if this wasn't disturbing and life threatening enough for the average person, she has to find a way out of it all on her own and not set any more than five bombs off and the only thing Chris gave her to help her through is a stick.

**Shelly: **_**"Chris… do you want me to die?"**_

"You can do it, Shelly!" Lena cheered. She wasn't doing anything really since Chris was being a hardhead and not giving her missions she could complete while keeping her values, so she opted to watch Shelly and make sure her friend… well… lived.

"Lena, is there anything Chris has of this place? Like a map or something? Because I don't feel like losing limbs. _I saw what happened in Forrest Gump_ _when bombs meet body parts_!"

Len tried to think up an idea on where a possible layout could be. Chris had to have one, didn't he? "I'll go see! Just don't set anything off, okay?"

Shelly smiled gratefully. "Thanks so much, Lena! And please… don't take your time…"

* * *

**Al: **_**She's holding an iPod with her eyes watering. "I'm being forced to watch… the show of unspeakable horrors." She slightly tilts the iPod screen to the camera, which shows the popular Disney Pop Princess herself strutting around a stage with a blond wig and big smile as she sings her heart out to preteens of the masses. "Only twenty episodes to go… but I don't know if I can make it…"**_

* * *

A small, chipper little girl with pigtails and a lollipop skipped onto the large plasma screen. She stopped and waved excitedly. "Howdy ho friends! I'm Miss Mary Tot I am!" the chipper little girl said with a few giggles tacked on at the end. "Weeeell, say hello back!"

"Hi," Krissy said back, eyes wide on the giddy little bundle of joy this girl was.

The girl giggled… _again_. Krissy was starting to not like Miss Mary Tot. "Now today I'm going to teach you all something very important – how to make new friends!" She clapped her little hands together. "Before we begin, let's sing – The Friends Song!"

"Stupid bitch," Krissy grumbled as she pressed fast forward through the hour-long song and dance number. "It said this was the making friends edition on the cover of the freakin' movie so it _better_ be about making friends."

She went into normal play and the little girl wiped her head off. "Whew, that was a _long_ one! I think before we do anything else, we should take a rest! It's time for – _The Rest Song_!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

**Lauren: **_**"I was worried about my mission of cooking lunch in the kitchen because of Chef. But lucky me, he's fighting Tawni! So not only do we get real food, but I get to live! The only thing I'm nervous about now is Chris wanted some and I plan on sharing with Tawni… I just hope Chef doesn't ask where I made it!"**_

* * *

"Kristina, Katroina – can I talk to you two for a minute?"

Kristina, who was donned in a large blue cloak and pointy hat, and Katroina came over. Katroina had been cornered by Kristina, who's current mission was to 'cast spells' on people while sporting 'wizard wear' which she wasn't too sure how to go about it. Katroina, who's most recent mission was to gather all the snacks she put back and hand feed them to Chris (he was rather bitter from her keeping him 'healthy' earlier), was quite eager to lend a helping hand.

"Is everything alright, Leila?" Katroina asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just concerned about… Chris."

Kristina took a step forward in panic. "Really? Why, what's wrong? Is he okay?"

"He looked fine a few minutes ago when I saw him," Katroina said.

"Yeah, but something could've come up!" Kristina insisted. She looked back at Leila, who was not expecting this much emotion from a simple little statement like that. Did these girls actually _like_ Chris? "Please tell us!"

Thinking on her toes, she sighed melodramatically and crumbled onto the floor helplessly. "I just overheard him telling one of the girls that they were going to win most def. It just… hurts, you know? And I don't think this girl is very good for him!"

Katroina's eyes went wide and Kristina gasped. "_No_!" the black haired beauty cried out in shock.

"_Who_ did Chris tell that to?" Katroina asked, her tone etched with something skeptical.

**Leila: **_**She stares cryptically at the camera with her arms crossed and her mouth a bit agape. "You know, these girls ask a lot of questions. Why can't a simple 'NOT YOU' suffice, huh?! Now I have to actually think!" She whips out a mirror and studies her reflection. "Uh, they made my eyeliner smudge with all their worry! Those evil, stupid –"**_

" – Oh I just, I just… I…" A bit panicked at not having a name ready, Leila burst into tears. Katroina bent down and smoothed a hand along the model's back and Kristine passed her hat to her to use to wipe off her tears. "I'm sorry, it's just I was hoping Chris would give me… or one of you sweethearts another shot and it's like… it's like… we don't even matter! Like we should just vote ourselves off and end our _pain_!"

**Kristina: **_**"I'm upset to hear this, but c'mon, it's Chris. This is the same guy who sent Vikki home for getting red paint on the place he stands during eliminations. He has a tendency to be… ah, dramatic and finicky at best."**_

**Katroina: **_**"I got this nagging feeling when Leila was telling us that. I know she seemed sincere enough, but maybe she was just being dramatic. I need to talk to Chris and see what he has to say since I'm not so sure her story wasn't blown out of proportion since she was so distraught."**_

**Leila: **_**She's still looking at herself in her mirror. "Damn, I'm fine!"**_

* * *

"First, smile _really_ big! Show all your pearly teeth! If you have icky ones, then don't show your teeth or else everyone will think your gross and no one wants a gross fried!"

"True dat," Krissy agreed.

"Now go up to the person you want to be your friend and greet them in your happy voice and say the following: 'Hello, I'm a slave of Miss Mary Tot and when she gains control over my mind I will allow her to control me to wipe out the human race!" She giggled. "Your turn!"

Krissy grabbed a random camerawoman's hand and yanked her forward. "Hello, I'm a slave of… wait, the hell?! What kind of kid's movie IS this?"

The cameraperson shrugged. "I dunno, my husband bought it last week for the kids. He thought it was some Sponge show or something because the girl's hair was so yellow. He's really not that bright…."

"Whatever." Krissy shoved her to the ground and went back to listening to Miss Mary Tot. She would get two friends, even if it meant being a slave to some chick in pigtails… eh, on second thought…

* * *

"Hey Shelly!" Lena cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted out to her friend in the middle of the dangerous field. "I have good news and bad news!"

"Bad news!" Shelly piped, carefully prodding the stick around her so see if she could take a baby step forward to hear this news better.

"Bad news is Chris told me he's going to call us all to the Mission Room in about a minute now."

"Well, that sucks!" Shelly moped. "What's the good news?"

"Chris said he wouldn't waste good explosives on a field and that he lied to you!"

Shelly's face darkened. "What a JERK!" she hollered. She ran over to Lena and clutched the stick tightly. "I can't believe he did that!" She tossed the stick to a spot nearby where she stood and an explosion ripped through the grass and clouded the dark sky with soot. Lena and Shelly, startled, looked at each other.

"I… can't explain that…" Lena admitted.

Shelly shook her head. "Me neither… hey, how did you find all that out, anyways?"

Lena laughed. "It wasn't _too_ hard. I just told him I'd stop asking him for missions if he'd tell me what I wanted to know and he was rather nice. I think the fact he missed some missions was getting on his nerves so he'd agree to anything. How'd thought?"

* * *

"This was a disappointing challenge. I'm not just saying that because no one went home on a stretcher – though that was a bummer, no lie – but some of you didn't even complete your missions. I'm starting to think I got the defective version of females on this show…"

**Leila: **_**"What a tool... oh-em-gee, this hair is longer than this one!"**_

"Maddie babe," Chris shook his head. "So close but no, victory dance. Now you can head inside and… do whatever it is you do when I'm not around."

Maddie shuddered when fresh memories of a more than awkward run-in with a certain dark haired queen bee type surfaced. "Sure thing, Chris," she said. "Try not to have too much fun on your date."

"Yeah, that won't happen, but thanks for your jealousy! It warms the soul!" She couldn't help but laugh at him as she zipped through the front door, leaving Chris feel confused. Wasn't she hurt by his blatant refusal to listen to her and be loyal?

**Chris: **_**"Yeah, I got defective girls alright."**_

He shook his head and got himself back in his mindset. "Storm, you didn't even make an attempt. What was up with that? I thought it was an easy enough one!"

"Yeah, reading my personal memos and such for my future best-sellers aloud on nation television is an easy feat." She had no problem stomping inside and slamming the door behind her. She was obviously still bitter about the previous night.

Chris ran a hand through his hair. He felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Eh… Sapphire, you didn't succeed either. Hit the house!"

She hung her head down as she went inside. Lena gave her an apologetic smile, knowing her mission was to litter near her or Katroina and run for it. She was glad the quiet girl cared more for her friend than she did going on a date.

"Serenity, you didn't get anything accomplished either. Shame, too, since I was so looking forward to your success."

"SHE DID HER EFFIN MISSION!" Krissy argued, rubbing a thick coat of lipgloss over her lips, desperately trying to wipe the memory away. Serenity was yelling out her own brand of angry accusations, telling him to not be lazy and press rewind.

"Ladies, please – don't be sore losers! Just go inside and sulk about your depressing, lame lives to people who can sympathize, because I can't."

Serenity rushed ahead of Krissy to get inside, Krissy (who was still friendless, for the record) started trying to brainstorm methods of murdering the quick black-haired high school aid.

Chris offered a sparkling smile to Dawn, who looked a bit frazzled from all the missions she had that day dealing with high-tech supplies and doing his bidding. Her faux hawk was even messed up and bits of hair were curved in every direction. "Dawn, fix your frames and get in the limo – you're goin' out with yours truly."

Dawn looked at him disbelieving and she gave him a dazzling smile of her own. "That's good to hear!" she said as she went over to hug him before getting into the limo.

The door flew open and Tawni came stumbling out with a limp and an impressive pattern of bruises, a puffy lip, and a cut above her right eye. Her hair was mussed and she did her best to look as if she didn't just come from a fight. Chris' eyes flitted over her. "You look like shit. I guess since you're not dead you beat Chef?"

Tawni shrugged. "We came to a mutual consensus that a draw would be fair. I had to come here and he wanted to go find out who cooked pizza in his kitchen –" Lauren gulped. " – so we agreed to end it and part ways."

"I bet you would've won if you kept going," Shelly said to her friend, who was glad to hear her friend was rooting for her.

"Well I'm glad to hear you have a mutual respect and understanding of each other," Leila said, turning around to gag at her niceness as everyone agreed.

All eyes swerved to Chris, waiting to see what he thought on it. He gave them a flat, bored look. "Nice job on the fight, but you didn't do even a single mission."

Tawni's face fell. "I thought as much," she said. Shelly patted her friend carefully on the shoulder as Tawni slumped and went limping inside. Leila scowled as she studied Chris and how he was clenching and unclenching his fist, almost like he was trying to have some sort of inner conflict. She smacked her forehead when the reason came to her: Chris wanted her to take care of her injuries! That jerk! He _wanted_ to take the brawny girl along on the date but was putting her first! What the hell?

"Lea." The contestant waved her hand at him. "I know, I know," she said curtly as she climbed into the limo.

**Lauren: **_**"Is she psychic or something?"**_

"Kristina," Chris smirked and he jabbed a finger to the door. "I think you know what I'm thinking."

She cast a look at the girls left and went in. She thought that maybe Leila was telling the truth and one of the girls left had in fact already won. If so, then who…? She'd heard Serenity was looking for whoever was knocking girls off, and maybe it was the same person. She'd have to talk to her.

"Charlie." He winked as the columnist gave him her attention. He nodded toward the limo. "Nice job on the missions today. Claim a seat in the limo."

"But –"

"I don't care about your thoughts, opinions, concerns, whatever else you can argue with me about, got it? Just… get in."

It was the most real she had thought she had seen him. His confident smile looked unsure, his eyes went from bright with cockiness and glory to shimmering as if ready to take a hit of rejection. His stance was open, vulnerable – would he really be upset if she turned him down? What would he look like if she said no?

Charlie didn't really want to find out. "Thanks…" she went in, contemplating why she agreed to go along if she hadn't done her mission and other girls had actually put forth some effort. What was his angle?

Chris went back into host mode. "Lena, you can go get comfy cozy… _inside_." She laughed lightly as she went over and pecked his lips lightly. "I got to hang out with you today, so I think I can wait a bit longer for you." He looked away and smirked as he nudged her toward the door.

"Harvard, you not only rocked the challenge and your missions, but I got a wicked awesome nickname for you, so get in the limo."

"Yes! Thanks!" Katroina made her way to the limo. "Glad to see you're not still mad about the snack thing."

His brows crushed together. "Wait, I forgot about that – I dunno-"

"Whoops, can't hear you!" she joked, climbing in. He took a breath, ready to race over and get his way, but his lungs emptied out and he just shrugged. "She's a real go-getter I guess…" He eyed the girls. "One more."

"Lauren, I'll see you at elimination! Though that pizza was good, so you probably don't have to worry about going home. What kind of moron would I be if I sent home someone who could cook?"

She smiled and laughed. "Yeah! That was sweet of you to reassure me!" She tackled him in a glomp and went inside with a large smile.

"Nice?" he repeated incredulously. "_No_! Not nice! That was sarcasm, chick, _sarcasm_! _Worry_! Ah screw it. Al go relay my message to her when you get in."

Al, who was suffering from good-music and quality-show withdrawal, went inside mumbling lyrics to a tasteless pop song.

**Shelly: **_**"I'm worried about her. The song she was signing didn't sound like something she usually listens to her." She shook her head slowly, looking down in thought. "What kind of torture did Chris put her through?" **_

"Shelly, you get to go inside– though the look on your face when you found out the field was clean was priceless, you didn't do enough missions! You wasted too much time in that field."

"I'll have to try harder next time I guess…. And by the way – your field is definitely _not_ clean."

She shut the front door and Chris looked surprised. "Wait, what did she mean by that?" Roxie and Leila, that last two girls left, shrugged. "Whatever, I'll find out. Anyways, the final girl tagging along for the date is Roxie, so darling get your sexy legs and get in."

"But Chris –"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Another girl challenging a decision?"

"But _Chris_ –"

"Just get in, okay?"

She went over and into the limo, mouthing an apology to Leila, who she thought had actually done countless difficult tasks to get a date.

Chris slammed the door shut the limp sped off with his pulling up right after it. He leaned back on it, studying Leila. The blond flipped her hair sexily and did a runway walk she had perfected over to him, looping her arms around his neck. "Letting girls go along who did nothing? That's not a Chris move. What are you trying to pull?"

"You don't need to know," he said back, looking unphased by her coy hold but being held up all the same.

She flicked hair out of his face and traced a finger along the curve of his ear. "Awe baby, I think I know what you're trying to pull – you don't want them to be upset with you and you don't want the Roxie girl to uncomfortable with you since the Lea girl saw you. You're playing peacemaker! How sweet." His jaw went tight.

"It reminds me of a photo shoot I did." She reminisced, tracing the defined lines in his chest through his shirt. "I had to work with this nasty guy. Oh he was so annoying – he kept chewing guy loud and he bitched out the make-up people, though they sucked I just sucked it up to get it over with. Anyways, he was real mean and all but as soon as the camera turned on he was a charming, sweet guy who held me close and touched me sweetly. It was so nice, but as soon as the camera went off, he was back to being a jerk."

Leila brought her hand to his cheek and made him look at her.

"These girls are fake, you're fake, this is all fake. You and I will wind up together by the end of this because we're both beyond them. But you need to stop changing to appeal to them. It's real cute, but it's getting old." She cupped a hand over his heart. "You don't need to pretend to feel anything for them."

Chris put his hands over hers and pealed them off. "I think I want to."

She rolled her eyes. "No, you want to feel them under you, not them loving you. Silly boy – you get so confused! It's like this one photo shoot I had when I was a cheerleader and – " a roar of an engine knocked her from her analogy and she watched as Chris' limo sped off. She shook her head and huffed. "When did he get away from me?!"

* * *

It wasn't like any other places anyone who went out on a date before had seen. Chris usually opted for the best, the most expensive, the most out there – this was none of those things. This was simple, this was quaint, this was normal.

It was an ice rink.

Sure, it was a nice ice rink in a fancy hotel, but the fact remained that no one would be eating large portions of high-class food or leaping from airplanes. This seemed like a real date. It was so thoughtful –

Of only the girls didn't have to share it with each other.

Chris' new assistant (no one was sure what happened to the other one after he raced away from the mall…) came over and showed the girls to their dressing room and gave each one of them fancy skates. Once everyone had them strapped on, the assistant came over and took them to the rink. They stood in the stands and noticed that standing in the middle was Chris who was wearing his own pair of skates. Though they looked a bit more worn down, the blades were shining with sharpness.

As soon as he noticed them, he smirked and glided over to them. "So, who likes to skate? Nah, strike that – I don't care if you do or not. Now I'll be spending an hour with each one of you and then sending you back to get ready for elimination. The rest of you can grab a bite – I saw there was an awesome snack bar in your dressing room."

"Why and when were you in the girl's dressing room…?" Charlie wondered.

Chris didn't seem to hear her. "Dawn, you're first."

The girls filed away with frowns as Dawn hopped into the rink and glided over to Chris. "Whoa – Small Town looks confident!"

"Small Town's small town is an hour away from an ice rink, which is the place to go." She skated lines into the ice as she made her way to him. "Nice pick."

"My thoughts exactly," he agreed, skating by her side.

"I must admit, I didn't know you actually liked to skate. I thought it was just, you know, a way to get on TV."

He gave her a look and laughed. "Nah, I was modeling before I thought about TV. I liked ice skating enough to do the show though. My mom would take me out sometimes when she could and I got into hockey and I got good." Dawn tried to imagine what type of modeling jobs Chris got with his arrogant persona and host smirk. Probably most of his work was for toothpaste or teeth-whitening promotions. "Anyways, it's nice to see you do take your converse off sometimes."

She looked down at her skates and smiled. "Yeah, I like them, but you didn't really think I wore them _all_ the time, did you?"

He shrugged. "Whatever, what's it matter? You don't." Her grabbed her hand and she arched a brow at him. "You're supposed to hold hands on dates or something like that." He gave her a conniving smile. "Or do you not go on dates?"

Dawn held his hand tighter. "I do!"

He laughed and she went along with him, the happy feeling contagious. They went around the rink together, just enjoying each other. It wasn't awkward being alone and only making snide comments every so often, it was actually nice. Things took a darker turn when Chris tried to trip Dawn and she broke away and a Trip War took place, with the two darting behind and in front of each other. It ended with Chris colliding the blade of his skate into Dawn's from the side, knocking her over and into him.

"So tell me, Dawn," he said triumphantly as he glided backwards with her struggling in his arms to knock him down and get even. "What do I have to do to get you to show off more skin?"

She felt self-conscious and covered her large chest with her free hand as best she could, even though her t-shirt did a decent job for her. "I'm not that type of girl! I'm not about to act like someone I'm not and use my body to get ahead with you!"

"Why not?" he asked, honestly curious. Most of his other flings and exes did that, so why did she go against a method that worked?

She thought carefully about how she wanted to put it. "I want you to… notice me for other reasons." He lost momentum and she fell over and he dragged her up. Her head was in the crook of his neck.

"Time, Mr. Maclean, Ms. Payne."

"Did I ever tell you how wicked awesome your last name is?" he said into her ear.

"Did I ever tell you how wicked awesome your Adam's apple is?" She felt an impulse and was going to fight it down, but since she was leaving she went with it. She came up and kissed the juncture of his throat and the underside of his jaw. He groaned and loosened his hold on her and she took advantage of it, skating away. "See you tonight, Chris."

He watched as she left, feeling the very things Leila told him wasn't real.

**Dawn: **_**"I don't usually do stuff like that, but I have a weakness for nice Adam's apples. I bet I'll get a lot of heat for that when I get home, but his reaction made me think…" she smiled. "It made me think it might be worth it."**_

* * *

Grab his hand. Lean against him. Challenge him to skating faster or slower. Lead each other. Show off what you can do.

She knew what she should on this date. Charlie had given such advice about nice dates like this countless times before and heard success stories of couples who had memorable dates and thanked her. The thing was, the girls who she gave advice to weren't going out with a sadist with a house full of girls who wanted to call him theirs.

Sometimes, being different sucks.

"You know, Charlie, if you wanted to rape me you can just do it instead of thinking up a Three-C's system for it." Chris shrugged and tried to keep his huge grin played down. "It'll be more fun that way."

"Rape you?" She covered her mouth. "Don't joke around like that! Rape is –"

"Serious? Horrible? Scary?" She nodded, a bit ticked at how calmly he could point out he was insensitive. "Yeah, well, I don't mind."

"Chris," Charlie stopped and Chris stopped along with her, still laughing at his joke. "Listen, I wanted to get to know you, but I don't think this is going to work."

He smirked, looking lax. "What makes you think _that_?"

"Communication," she said the first of her Three C's. "We don't get to get to know each other well enough. I literally have to compete for your attention."

"Yeah and when you can have it you bring stupid crap like this up," he rolled his eyes in exasperation, never losing his light smile and carefree persona. "Next."

"Compatibility," she said immediately. "We don't work."

He brought her forward, his arms around her waist and her hands defensively in front of her, coming to his chest. "You feel that?" he said. "This is called tension. We got it, we got sparks, we got something, you got me? As for likes and all that, you'd know all that if we… uh, communicated or whatever."

"Commitment," she said through clenched teeth, trying to ignore the 'tension' he claimed was there. Whatever it was, she didn't know what to do about it except push it off as best as she could and go on. "I want it."

She felt his chest rumble as he laughed. He leaned over and kissed the bottom of her ear, not answering her. She clung to him.

"You're confusing!" she told him as he repeated himself along her jaw. "Y-you mess with me and everyone here. You want us, you don't want us. You get serious with me, you joke about it. You gave me a mission to demean myself and make out with some random guy and I don't do it, which lands me a date. It makes no sense!"

He dragged his nose up to hers, looking at her through dark, half-lidded eyes. Her chest clenched, and she lost her thoughts and reasons. "I want _you_," he said slowly, playing with the hem of her shirt, "to treat me like you would any other dude you like. Act like you do when I'm not around."

She couldn't think, she just nodded. He smiled and pulled back, taking her hand and skating, making fun of her flushed face and taking jabs at how many bases she covered (or didn't cover).

She found herself having fun, enjoying his jokes, and decided that she had a lot to think about. But right now, she just wanted to be here and make fun of him back. A girl's gotta defend herself, after all.

* * *

"Guys, if we don't talk about this now, we'll have to live with it. And I don't want to live with this... awkward feeling."

Everyone nodded at Shelly except for the two girls on the sofa, who were sitting on complete opposite ends and glaring in opposite directions.

"I don't care, it's giving me ideas for a future love story –"

"_Stormy_," Serenity said. "Now isn't a good time to bring up good ways to exploit them and their… err… situation."

The red head shrugged and left the room, muttering about how selfish some people were.

"Now, until we can get you two to talk to each other again, we'll give you representatives: Lena, since you're nice to everyone and Krissy doesn't seem to get on your nerves too much, you go represent her. Sorry, someone has to do it. Lauren, you can cover Maddie." The two girls walked over and sat by the agitated girls.

"You'd think this was an episode of Oprah or something," Tawni muttered.

Al nodded, surprising Tawni since she was blaring her music ever since she got rid of the bluegrass. "Only there's no Oprah and no free cars."

"Now, Krissy, is there anything you want to say to Maddie?"

Krissy yanked Lena's ear to her mouth and she whispered a flurry of words. When she was done she let go of Earth's self-designated protector. She cleared her throat. "A nice, proper translation of what she told me was that she thought Maddie wanted to kiss her and she doesn't think she can be so close to someone who could take advantage of her at any moment."

"She did a lot of editing," Kristina told everyone. "Krissy had a lot more colorful words included."

Maddie leaned forward and whispered to Lauren, who nodded. "Got it. Maddie thinks Krissy should get over herself when she really isn't that pretty."

"Well tell that wannabe bitch that she should've left her hoe tendencies at home!" Krissy yelled over Lena.

Maddie laughed. "That was such a lame insult! Thanks for the quick relay by the way, Lauren."

"Don't ignore me! I'll mess your face up!" Krissy threatened.

"Do you hear something?" she asked Lena and Lauren, as they wondered away into the game room with Krissy shouting angry comments behind her.

"Mission accomplished," Shelly smiled. "I just hate drama and this was weird."

"Literally." Tawni said. "Hey, you know what I just realized? We made them make up so they could fight… if that makes sense."

* * *

Chris was having a lot of fun with Katroina. This was mostly due to the fact that she didn't know how to skate, having only done so few times before in her life. Instead of doing what most normal people would do and teach her or go slowly beside her as she learned for herself, he did something he thought was better: he had a hand on each shoulder and _steered_ her around the rink.

"Hey, you're preeeeeetty good at this," he jeered. "Are a professional by any chance?"

"No, but I know _someone_ who thinks they are." Chris laughed. "I don't see why you can't teach me. Are you that impatient?"

"Nope – if you really want to learn…" he let go and she fell back into him. He gave her a cocky smirk and she did her best to put some distance between them and hobble ahead a bit. "Okay, what do I do?"

"First you turn around so your back faces me so I can direct you easier." She sighed and struggled to do so. She felt a bit susceptible like this, but let him know when she was ready. "Kay, next, you put your arms out ."

She did so and frowned. "I don't see anyone doing this, Chris."

"That's 'cause this is a learning method. It'll help you… keep balance."

"Oh," she saw the logic in this. "Alright, I guess I see… what's next?"

"Then you brace yourself." Though she wasn't surprised by him racing behind her and steering her around all over again at a faster race making her feel like a speedboat, she was still caught off guard. Her knees gave out in shock and she went forward. She thought for sure she was going to land face-first into the unforgiving ice that mocked her with its sleekness and experience in causing people pain. So to say she was confused to fall the opposite way onto her back was a bit of an understatement.

"Chris?" Katroina winced as she tilted her head over to see Chris looking extremely pissed off, with a hand on the back of his head. "Chris, are you okay?"

"Damn, my hold head hurts," he complained. "Do I look okay?"

Katroina smiled at his boyish groans of discomfort and the way his hands pressed against his head to make the aches go away. She struggled to stand up and did her best to support him as he came up beside her. "Chris, why didn't you just let me fall? Don't you like seeing people suffer?"

"I'm supposed to," he muttered, not enjoying his new headache. "But I think being defective is contagious."

* * *

Roxie and Lea hadn't said a word to each other during the hour they waited.

When the assistant came in for Roxie, the dancer stood and gave Lea an remorseful look. "Listen, I'm sorry for what you had to see, but this is a competition. I respect you, but I want to win Chris as badly as you do."

Lea arched a brow. "What are you talking about?"

Roxie wondered if Lea wanted to drag her through her guilt. "You walked in on Chris and me twice when we were kissing. I just hope you aren't still upset."

Lea's brow fell back into place. "Oh, you thought I was mad at you?" She laughed lightly as Roxie nodded. "Aren't you?" she wondered, eyeing Lea in hopes she wasn't lying.

"I'm not mad at you, no. I'm more wondering to myself. You see, I haven't kissed Chris yet either. It's just I'm not going to kiss him first. My parents always told me that it's the boy's job to initiate a first kiss… well, my mother did at any rate. I don't think it'd be polite to say what my father thought about it."

* * *

"Would you mind giving me some answers now, Mr. Maclean?"

"Not at all, Ms. Beadford." Chris came in front of Roxie, his feet gliding in sync with hers as he skated backwards in front of her. "I didn't give you any missions because Chef bet on you against the camera crew. He told me if I gave you a single mission or any reason to not win, he'd do some things that I only dreamed about doing to people!"

Roxie laughed. "So that's it? I thought it was something more than that, but at least I got a free date from the deal…." She narrowed her eyes teasingly. "So, who'd you bet for?"

"Lea," he said. "I couldn't make it too obvious or the camera crew would've been peeved, so I gave her easy missions like 'find this, find that' she could do. It worked out well enough."

Roxie nodded and they skated together for a while, just talking about whatever came to mind. Chris decided to show off and make her impressed by doing axels and crazy tricks. Her eyes widened and she skated into his arms after an impressive show of coordination on ice. "Now I know why you were so good at dancing," she mused. "You can figure skate well."

"Nothing gets by you," he said, rolling his eyes. "I bet you know all there is to know."

"Not everything," she admitted. "But I think I'm doing well working on it."

"Ah, I've seen worse. You get props."

She thanks him and they hooked arms, going back in forth in a fast pace, both having the skills to keep up together. "You know, this might be a good exercise for my dance students. Maybe I could have them go back and forth while shouting out dance routines they have to do at the same time."

"Maybe you could throw some hockey players in the mix to try and run them down," he said, thinking she was joking.

"Hmm… that might work… it'd improve their agility and awareness at any rate."

He eyed her up as if he hadn't seen her years. "Are you serious? You sound like you torture your classes."

"It's tough love," she said in the way someone who repeats a phrase over and over again would. "I got most of my ideas for training my class from your challenges and they all work well. This new one should be interesting to see in action."

"If your students are anything like my campers, I'm not sure they won't appreciate the efforts, the lame ingrates."

* * *

Chris wasn't sure how things would go with Lea. Based off of experience, he was thinking she would flat out ignore him.

She skated up like a statue in a perfect pose right beside him. He took this as a good sign and they went together around the rink like he had done so far that night. The only difference here was that he touched every girl he went around with and Lea didn't so much as look in his direction. He also didn't have this feeling of his headache creeping into his chest and he didn't constantly wonder what he should be doing.

The thing with Lea was he wasn't too sure what to do or think with her.

"You must like skating to be able to do it for five hours," she mused. "If you're tired we can go to the risers."

It was then he noticed the warning signs of shin splints and sore calves, but he wasn't about to show weakness. "Nah, I'm chill. Why, do you have something against ice skating?"

"Not at all, I took lessons and enjoy it very much." It seemed true – she had perfect posture and it seemed to be natural. "By the way, I agree with Katroina."

"About what?"

"You eat too many fatty foods."

"Aw man, not you too!" he complained, planting his face in his open palm. "Why can't you people let a dude eat what a dude wants to eat?!"

"I never made a claim that I would take control of your diet," she teased. He felt better. "I'll leave that to Lena and Katroina. We seem to be on the same page."

She smiled at him in a way that Duncan would smile at his parole officer. In other words, she had something up her sleeve.

"So she doesn't mind eye contact today!" Chris joked. He pulled her aside to give his legs a break and to get her to talk. "Now, tell me what' going down up there?" He prodded a finger to her forehead.

She opened her mouth to answer and then shut it, looking a bit shameful. "It would be impolite to share my thoughts, you'll have to excuse me."

"Impolite thoughts?" He pulled her out of the rink and onto a stand in the first row, pulling her into his lap and pressing her to him. "I would like to hear some of these. I'll overlook the fact they're impolite."

"I was raised better," she said more to herself than him.

"I was raised worse, we balance each other out, see?"

She looked around at everything but Chris. "Well… I was wondering when… if… you were going to kiss me." Before he could answer, she rushed into a slew of thoughts. "I mean it's not that I only am here for a physical relationship or I only have physical attraction for you, Chris, don't get me wrong. And I was thinking that even though we talk a lot you might see me only as a friend or being paranoid that I'd turn you down. It's also not like I want to throw myself at you or come off too strong or get caught up to Roxie or Lena I just… I… I'm sorry, that was rude of me." She looked to the floor away from him.

He tilted his head and his thick hair came into the corner of her vision. "May I kiss you?"

She snapped her head to him, her eyes large in disbelief. "What?"

"May I kiss you?" he repeated nonchalantly. "It's not really my style to ask – I usually just go for it, but if you want to be polite about it, I'll give it a go. I didn't think you wanted me to-"

She leaned up and put her lips on his softly, gentle. She pulled back a brief second later, looking unsure of herself. "That was impulsive."

"Not really," he said, wondering where his resolve had gone. He got it back with a good idea. "This is impulsive." He took her chin in his hand and kissed her roughly, hard. By the time the assistant came in to leave, the pair had spent more time sitting on the bleachers going back and forth between showing each other how a kiss should be than they had actually ice skating. Chris' overworked legs were very appreciative.

* * *

"Another day, another elimination. Man, anyone else think we don't have enough of these?" The girls rolled their eyes at the host's twisted sense of humor. "Fine, be stiff, see if I care. That doesn't change the shots I called. You either get a grape of chocolate and you roll off and look all cool on the risers behind me. If you're left empty-handed, that's a sign to report to the Helipad of Shame with your crud and hop aboard the Helicopter of Looooooosers and if that doesn't interest you, there are always lonely security guards who will be more than happy to escort you and leave you with complimentary bruises as a parting gift! And just know you will never return… _ev-er_."

He cast a shady eye to Tawni. "Eh, though it looks like you don't need any more bruises though… when did you get the crutches?"

"When I went to Dr. Chef and he accidently made my sprain worse," she said. "So much for a truce…"

"Eh, I'll sit him down and talk to him. In the mean time come get some candy and pretend your life isn't a black abyss!" She crutched her way over and popped the candy in her mouth before crutching over to the bottom riser. The girls had to admit: a person looked so much cooler on those risers than they did on these.

"I never say it, so why start now?" Lea came down and got her candy. Chris leaned in for something sweet of his own, but she didn't notice and walked off thanking him.

"I thought she noticed everything," Chris muttered dejectedly. "Roxie… Maddie babe… Harvard… KK, two feet rule… Serenity… Charlie… Sapphire… Dawn… Stormy… Lena… Al… Lauren… Shelly…

"Now our final two: Kristina and Leila. You two feel nervous yet? Good. Now the last name I'm going to call out is… Leila. Kristina, sexy, it's time you hit the sky."

Leila held back her victory smile as she got her candy and went to the risers. To look nice, she called out, "I'm sorry, Kristina!"

"It's… I mean, it'll be all right." She looked at the girls with courage and walked over to Chris, hugging him close. "Thanks for saving the hospital, I'll be forever grateful and I'm glad I got to see what a great person you are."

"Saving hospitals? Great person? Yeah, it's time you left this house and got some much needed sanity."

**Kristina: **_**"I got to talk to Serenity at least and I hope she can keep guard for whoever isn't here for Chris. I wish the girls the best of luck – I'm happy to have met them – and I hope Chris finds true love. He not only deserves it, he needs it. Very badly."**_

* * *

**First things first: crutched IS a verb (I crutch, you crutch, he/she/we crutch)… I checked XP**

**Sorry if I got to dark/mushy/whatever else. I'm a mood writer – I write based off my moods. I need to work on this *sweat drop.* Yes, Kristina went home (waves with tear-filled eyes) and she left everyone with some things to think about. And is Chris starting to (gasp) care?! **

**Thanks to: all reviewers, anyone who actually reads these, and my new best friend – my pillow**

**Special Thanks to: Long Lost Twin, 1000GreenSun, HowlingWulf, One Black Rose, and Santi48**

**Take care guys, and don't hesitate to share your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, junk food, whatever. I love to listen… err… read what fleeting thoughts people have. There fascinating.**


	12. That Camping Show Pt I

**The Challenges of Love**

**12. That Camping Show Pt. I (Not-So-Happy Ladies)**

* * *

**Updates on the world of TCOL: a fanpage that has a lot of effort put into it has been made by my long lost twin, xx. Feline. Of. Avenue. B. xx! Though it's currently in progress, it's wonderfully done and shows much promise. It includes bios, a picture, and memorable moments for each lady, so check it out. Just like the art (I will eventually get these all in my profile… it's a work in progress) the link for the site will be added. But for now, here it is:**

**http: // myobsessioniscontagious .wetpaint. com/**

**(Just take away the spaces so your magical journey may begin!)**

**I really appreciate all the effort these guys show and how inspired these mash up of words make them. I wish I could show just how appreciative I am beside shout-outs, but I thank you all so very much! I have fun looking at them and, of course, they give me the warm fuzzy feeling I love so very much!**

**Total Drama Island? Not mine. Anything related or associated with it (i.e. characters, settings, spin-offs, etc.)? Also not mine. The extraordinarily extraordinary ladies? Not mine either. Anything else in here that has ownership besides myself is also obviously not mine.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar_

_-Ladies Left: 16_

* * *

When Chris had woken the girls up via his top-of-the-line speakers at two in the morning with orders to go get packed and ready to go in an hour's time, they weren't enthused in the least bit and were too drowned down with lost sleep to be curious enough to imagine why.

When he met the yawning ladies outside as they were banging their luggage into the limo, they were awake enough to notice the haughty smirk he gave them all as he let hired helpers put away his things for him. They felt his untamed thoughts burn into them as his light laughs clung to the air and traveled to their ears, teasing them with plans he had that they didn't know.

By the time they were on the road, their own ideas on how he would ruin their lives for ratings seeped into their delirious minds and ran off with their common sense. The ride was quiet and the 'what if' questions swerved in everyone's heads as they were sped off to an unknown destination.

Once the limo stopped, the girl's thoughts stopped with it. All they could do at that point was walk out and meet whatever reality was waiting for them and either confirm or deny possible challenges they had been reviewing with themselves.

No one considered a challenge where they'd be pampered on a yacht, but that seemed to be the 'torture' they'd be undergoing shortly. The same paid personnel that had been carrying Chris' luggage earlier had doubled in size and was now taking care of the ladies' baubles and bags as well. The camera crew was setting up in front of said yacht and had more than likely planted cameras all over the place for all those 'just in case' moments. And of course, the scene wouldn't have meant as much if Chris wasn't standing in all his cocky glory, waiting with a superior grin outside the limo door.

"Greetings, ladies, and I hope everyone here likes to ride on expensive yachts and doesn't mind spa time!"

"SPA TIME?!" Krissy repeated, breaking the silent awe in the female contestants. "Move it, bitches, I need a pedicure _real_ bad!" Chris side-stepped as the hurricane of drama stormed over to the escort and was taken to a door that led to a lower level of the ship.

"Well someone was excited!" He tipped his head toward a new escort that took the former's place. "Anyone want to enjoy the services provided other than KK?"

"Erm," Tawni looked from her crutches down at her swollen ankle. It didn't look like it would be an easy feat to release it from its ace bandage just to get her toes painted. "Not really…"

"Was any of the polishes and lotions they're using tested on animals?" Lena asked, craning her neck around the group to see if anyone was as worried about animals as she was.

"I always get someone who doesn't speak English…" Stormy added in. She was the only one who looked wide awake – she had to be considering she was documenting every second of her day to this moment and one misspelling would mean a page ripped from the book and into the trashcan.

"That's stereotyping," Charlie reprimanded offhandedly.

"Wow, someone other than Dawn caring about stereotypes. I need to make note of this." Dawn glared at the writer beside her and turned her head away, too sleepy to move anymore than that.

Leila was the only one who looked like they were physically suffering at the knowledge that there was a spa a few feet away and that she wasn't there. Not willing to risk blowing her cover so soon and seem superficial for loving spa treatment as much as the designated Queen Bee of the house, she stood her ground and sniffed.

Chris' glowing aura grew dark and his smile drooped. "What ingrates… Fine, well there are also beds down there, a mini-theatre, a snack bar, and masseuses." He turned to Dawn and Lea with a twisted grin. "Oh, and I know that since you're both of the lower class you probably haven't had the opportunity to indulge like this, so I insist you take advantage of it now."

"I'm not lower class, I just come from a small town. I thought this was established…" Dawn grumbled.

"And she's got money in the bank! She works for Vouge!" Al said in Lea's defense, her music keeping her awake. "By the way, why does he think you're poor?"

"He accused me of being a maid since I do housework and is insistent that it's how I make a living," she said with a shrug. "I don't mind. It happens."

Chris crossed his arms and cleared his throat. He looked at the group like a child who wanted instant attention as he shoved a finger toward his expensive boat. "How about you take that conversation to the _spa_?" Lena looked ready to protest. "And no animals were harmed or used or whatever," he answered quickly and she decided against her onslaught of questions and concerns and smiled sweetly instead.

The girls went over to the escort and were taken down to a bit of paradise on the sea. Once the door was closed and everyone was boarded, the ship left port and was skating on the water. Chris let out a low snicker as his thoughts turned to his upcoming challenge and he went to his office on the upper deck to plan all his last minute details and to make sure his… _guests_… hadn't escaped yet.

As he did that, the girls did what he requested: indulged.

"This is so what I, like, needed," Krissy cooed as she her shoulders were rubbed and her feet were basking in a flowery-scented solution.

Sapphire smiled down at her fingers as bright yellow flowers were being painted onto her nails. "Th-this is… kind of nice… i-isn't it?" She then promptly thanked the manicurist in a shy voice.

Maddie, who enjoyed being original, was painting her own nails vibrant colors as she bobbed her head to music from an ear bud Al let her use. Al was content with listening to her music and talking to pass time, not really interested in having anyone cater to her at the moment. "I wonder," the music buff suddenly said, "why Chris is giving us spa time."

Maddie paused and blew on her nails thoughtfully. "Huh, you know, I considered that to."

"I think he's changing," Katroina said, donning a robe as she walked over and into a sauna with Lena behind her, checking the tags and labels on everything that she may have protested before. "Did you guys hear about where he took us on our date?" They gave her a blank look. "Ice skating. It was nice and he was _very_ considerate."

"And well-mannered," Lea added as she walked in, a fiery red glowing on her cheeks as she entered another room and shut the door behind her.

"She seemed weird," Maddie observed. "Wonder if Chris made a move," she whispered to Al, who frowned. The two had yet to make it to any bases or get any sort of physical action with the host and it was a bit bothersome.

"Alright, this room is clear," Lena told Katroina. "Chris knows his environmentally friendly products!" They went off together into the sauna with the knowledge that Chris cared enough to keep the animals and Mother Earth in mind – _what a guy_.

"Hey guys!" Lauren said in a sing-song voice as she came over and sat beside Maddie. "Don't go to the snack table – it's gross."

"Yeah," Roxie agreed as she came in, looking sick and easing down between her roommates. "I think he put Chef in charge of it."

"What the hell?" Leila roared, directing all fleeting attention to her. "Are you a retard? I haven't met anyone so blind and dumb since my beach shoot in France! Get the fu-" she froze and her eyes met others giving her confused and shocked looks. Even Krissy was speechless at the burst of rage.

"Oh, hehehe, so sorry!" she said nervously to everyone and to her manicurist. "I just, ugh, get really cranky in the morning without sleep!" Everyone accepted this as truth and the model sunk in her seat with a vein popping and her mood dangerously low. She couldn't even yell at poor service anymore! _What had she been demoted to_?

Serenity poked her head in. "Hey, you guys, have you seen Tawni?"

"Sleeping in that room with bunk beds. I think Shelly's in the bottom one and Charlie and Dawn our in the one across the room from them, though, so watch who you wake up," Al said. "Then again, she's the only one holding crutches and with her foot propped up, so you can't really miss her."

"What, is she next on your list of people out to kick the girls out of the house?" Krissy said with a witchy cackle. "For the record, everyone wants to be the last girl standing so everyone is trying to get the other kicked out, dumb dumb."

"Yeah, well – wait, dumb dumb? What kind of insult is _that_?"

"She has lame insults from time to time," Maddie answered her. "Just ignore it and laugh later when she isn't around."

"Oh, I see," she said as Krissy glared fiercely at the bleached blond who shrugged in indifference. "But yeah, this girl has got to be way worse if she's sneaking behind our backs. And I like Chris – if I can't have him, though I mean I hope I do… I just don't want him getting used or hurt!"

**Lauren: **_**She's seen sitting in a sauna, pulling on the collar of her shirt and waving the steam away. "I hadn't even considered that. I guess I can see where her concern stems from. It's nice to see she's not a superficial or paranoid person and actually cares about Chris." **_

**Leila: **_**"… I don't like her." Lena and Katroina lean in, giving her a confused look that ask her who. She groans and stalks out.**_

_**Lena and Katroina: "Who do you think it is she hates?" Lena asks. "I don't know, but I haven't seen Leila look resentful or cruel until just then… by the way, why is the confessional in the sauna?"**_

* * *

It was noon by the time the yacht stopped. The girls were well rested and coddled and were eager to get out of the cramped space and get some fresh whiffs of air.

"I don't know why everyone's so excited," Lauren muttered to herself, looking displeased and anything but excited to leave the ship.

"What?" Roxie asked, looking confused. "Why?"

Lauren's face paled and she shook her head. "Oh, hahaha nothing, I just… have a bad feeling is all… that we're not at a good destination…"

Maddie and Roxie exchanged a look as Lauren walked off, laughing in high pitches as she sped off to the door.

**Lauren: **_**"That was a close one… I don't think they suspect anything…" **_

"Lauren," Maddie griped as she stepped outside and took the area in, "you have good intuition."

It was a fact the girls could all agree with, for they all came up to see a familiar place that none of them had any intention of ever seeing in person – _Camp Wawanakwa_.

**Katroina: **_**She's in the infamous bathroom from the first Total Drama season, swatting a hand at meaty flies. "Wait… how did our boat go from the sea to the lake in the middle of nowhere…?"**_

**Chris: **_**"I bet one of the girls is curious to know how I got the yacht from the ocean to the lake," he says smugly. " Well, the answer to that is really simple: money, a helicopter, and… eh, I don't know how they could've missed being lifted out of one body of water to another or how a helicopter lifted my yacht to begin with… if you think about it, it doesn't really make any sense." He shrugs and gives the camera a starry smile. "Oh well, the fact is it worked! Why question what works? Right?"**_

"Greetings once again, ladies… or should I say _campers_?" He laughed at his joke and wiped a tear away. "It's time for challenge five: Total Drama Rerun! All of you will be split into two teams of eight onto the Killer Bass or Screaming Gophers. The two teams will then compete in six challenges in which one person from each team has to complete – and each person must do one, no more no less. The winning team gets to sit first class with me on the ride back and is safe from tonight's elimination. All the other girls get to sit in the suckier middle-class on the ride back… after the Campfire Ceremony leaves one of you here!" He laughs again. "Good idea, huh? Being here is really nostalgic – it brings back great memories!" A beaver runs by and his face goes blanch, and his brows draw down and his hands ball into tight fists. "I spoke too soon… hope everyone has their rabies shot…"

**Lena: **_**"Alright! I've always wanted to be on TDI! I just like the outdoors and this seemed like a pretty fun place! I say bring it on!"**_

**Leila: **_**"No! I never wanted to be on any of Chris' damn torture shows! I want OFF!"**_

**Krissy: **_**She looks at the camera person and then down to her nails. "Do you think these challenges will ruin my nails…?"**_

"Of course, since you guys are rookies, I got two willing contestants to come back and give you a guy! Hope everyone remembers first season loser Goth Gwen and fellow loser surfer girl Bridgette!"

Everyone looked around – some excited, some not – for these two promised visitors. They weren't expecting to see Chef roll them out in wheelchairs they were strapped to and wriggling in freedom as they yelled things through the duct tape on their mouths.

Chef smiled pleasantly as he ripped the tape from the girls' mouths simultaneously. "Oh quit your whining and toughen up, softies!"

"Get bent, Chef!" Gwen said, struggling in her rope. Chef seemed to not hear what she said and he 'accidently' tipped her wheelchair over as he turned away and walked back into his kitchen.

"Gwen! You okay?" The surfer asked, trying to lean her head out far enough to see her friend.

"I am _not_ okay!" The Goth narrowed her blazing dark eyes at the host. "What the hell, Chris? I knew you were a sadist – but really, kidnapping? Come on!"

"It says in your contract that I'm allowed to kidnap you so long as it is in correlation with a mission – which you must carry out," he said offhandedly.

"Where does it say that?!"

"Fine print."

**Gwen: **_**"I. Hate. The. Fine. Print."**_

**Leila: **_**"You would think he'd be sympathetic since he's in the same problem." Her eyes go wide and she smiles. "Wow, that was real insightful! It reminds me of this one time when I was a guest on Ellen and I got to answer all these questions about me! It wasn't hard because they were **_**all**_** about me… you would think that if people test you they'd do it on hard stuff, but I don't think Ellen knew that." She shakes her head. "It's people like her that give blondes a bad name!"**_

"I'm going to ignore the angsty teens over there and get down to business!" He cleared his throat. "I got our surfing environmentalist leading the Killer Bass and joining her will be Lea, Shelly, Al, Katroina, Lena, Charlie, Sapphire, and Serenity." The girls walked over to Bridgette's wheelchair, trying to undo the rope knotted around her. "With our badass Goth we've got Lauren, Roxie, Tawni, Stormy, Dawn, Krissy, Maddie, and Leila."

They went over and tried to untangle Gwen from her chair as well… after they brought it up from its side. Tawni was the odd one out considering her injury, so she just kind of waited off on the side and tried to stay out of everyone's way.

**Tawni: **_**"Man, I hate getting wrecked! Good news is it's only a grade one sprain, so it should be healed up in two to three weeks. The problem I have with this is that I don't HAVE two to three weeks of down time."**_

**Sapphire: **_**Her eyes dart around the stall and she laughs manically. "I respect Tawni, I really do… but I would be so happy if I could see her take a tumble down a cliff and land on her ankle. The antagonizing cries of pain and woe… hahaha… I can hear them now…"**_

Chris cleared his throat once the team leaders were freed and he smiled brightly. "The nice thing to do would be to give you all some time to get to know each other and plot, but ratings wouldn't be very high if I did that and made things easy, so I'm going to ask for a chick from each team to step up and literally take one for the team _now_."

"Ugh, and you guys want to _date_ him?" Gwen said, disgust in her tone.

"Is he treating you all right?" Bridgette asked hopefully. "I'd hate to think he was putting you through too much trouble."

The girls awkwardly laughed, a bit taken back by her sincerity. If only she knew…

"So, who's brave enough to go first?" the minor asked the rest of the Gophers. Krissy raised a hand. "I think Dawn should go first."

Dawn shook her head. "How do I always end up on her team…?"

Gwen arched a brow. "You don't like her or something?"

"Heh, that's an understatement." Maddie said. "This girl is like Heather all grown-up."

Gwen's eyes turned to slits and she felt a hatred fester that was stronger than the one she felt for Chris. "Oh _really_?" Everyone nodded, Krissy 'tsk'ed and rolled her eyes. "Well then that's settled. All who want Heather Two to go in for us raise your hand." Everyone's hand went up and Krissy had yet to put hers down. Instead of arguing, she flipped her hair so that it whacked everyone's faces and she stalked off to cling onto Chris until the other team decided.

"Oh, she looks tough," Bridgette commented at the force Krissy used to tackle the unsuspecting Host's arm.

"Dude, I don't think she's tough, she's just… forceful." Shelly looked around. "Any takers?" No one raised a hand, not wanting to cross paths with the evil girl and risk getting called out constantly like the brave Maddie was. She may be able to take insults and turn Krissy's rage into a fun carefree way to pass time, but they didn't want to.

"How about Lea?" Serenity suggested. "She keeps her composure, you know? Krissy's insults never bothered her before."

"Is that okay with you, Lea?" Bridgette asked.

Lea nodded curtly. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you for asking, I really don't mind at all. Take care everyone." She waved lightly before walking over to stand across from the twisted pair. "Chris, Krissy," she greeted with a nod of her head.

Chris struggled harder to get Krissy off of him when he heard Lea. When he finally ripped away he flipped his head to make sure his hair was in check and collected himself to announce the challenge. "Alright! We got Lea of the Killer Bass and Krissy of the Screaming Gophers. Ready to go at it?"

"Anything for you, CC," Krissy said in what she thought to be a sexy voice.

Lea took a step away from her advisory without realizing it. "I'm ready when you are, Chris."

"That's great, because I'm ready now. The first challenge is for you two to go and… find me an animal!" They gave him blank looks as he held up five cards with the backs facing them. "You will each pick one card and you're goal will be to find the animal and put it in that cage over there." Chris pointed to a large, rusty metal cage by the Dock of Shame. "Whoever does it first wins for their team! And since KK came up first, she gets first pick!"

Krissy grinned wickedly she reached forward and pulled out a card on the end. Her smile incinerated within seconds and she suddenly felt overcome by heat. "Ugh, Chris, you don't _really_ expect me to get a skunk, do you?"

"You bet I do!" he chimed brightly. "Lea, go for it! And if you're worried, remember this: at least you didn't pick 'skunk.'"

Krissy shook with a combination of rage and revulsion while Lea looked at nothing in particular with a thoughtful look. She pulled out a card and flicked her eyes over at it and then paused and examined it closer. "Chris," she said slowly. "It would seem that you expect me to find and capture and Charizard."

Chris tilted his head. "Come again?"

Lea showed Chris her card and it was, indeed, a Pokemon card. He gave a scrutinizing look to the cards he had left – all containing normal woodland creatures. "Well, can't say that doesn't sucks, but it really does."

"Wait a second!" Charlie interjected. "Chris, you can't honestly be serious and expect her to go get something that doesn't exist, can you?"

"I can! Who says that they don't exist? They could just... you know… be hiding." Everyone gave him confused looks and he shrugged. "Blame my boss' kid – he's the one who leaves his crap on my desk. It must've gotten in my stuff."

The Gophers stared at Krissy, waiting for her to make a move. "Ewe, I'm sorry, but a skunk…?"

"Figures," Maddie said, rolling her eyes. Krissy flipped and started yelling colorful insults.

"Chris, is there any way for me to get something that isn't… hiding?" Lea asked calmly and maturely. "I would like to participate, but I have a feeling there are no Pokemon here."

"Ah-ah-ah," Chris said. "I hear a forfeit! The point goes to the Gophers!"

Lea sighed. "Oh well… guess it can't be helped. By the way," she turned to Krissy, "there is a skunk over by the Confessional." With that she went over to her team, who gave her sympathetic pats on the back.

"Well," Bridgette said hoping to comfort the girls who were in poor spirits, "at least he has a sense of humor…"

* * *

"Time to get serious!" Gwen said to her huddled team. "We got lucky on that last one since we definitely would've lost if the other team got an _actual_ animal." Angry eyes flashed to Krissy, who was smiling dazedly at her shiny finger nails proudly. "Whatever, anyone want to go?"

"I will," Maddie volunteered. "I wouldn't mind owning up _KK_ and showing Chris just who's better."

"Hey, you're friends with Maddie, right, Al?" Serenity asked.

"Well, yeah, but so is everyone on this team."

"Great! So you go up against her!"

"What?!" Al was struck with confusion as the Aid shoved her in front of Chris. Maddie smiled and waved and Al numbly waved back, wondering what the heck just happened.

"Maddie is representing the Gophers and Al's got dibs on the Bass. Nice, can't wait to see how this plays out! The challenge I've got for you two is a quicker version of the Sleep-A-Thon!" As soon as he said this an escort that replaced the one who was chased off ran over and handed Chris a long, narrow before leaving back to the Mess Hall. Chris opened it and took out a shot with a long needle.

"What, are we shooting or something?" Maddie asked, suddenly not feeling confident.

**Maddie: **_**"I've done some crazy shit I admit, but drugs on national television…? Yikes. That's a new one."**_

**Al: **_**"Serenity, I hope you're happy. You shoved me up here and now I'm going to get drugged up and probably die or something." She looks down at her iPod frowning. "Man, I knew I should've made an Apocalypse playlist!"**_

"It's nothing illegal – I'm just going to make you eat these two little sleeping pills here with a bit of a kick. The first one down loses." He went into the box he pulled the needle from and pulled out two pills.

"Wait… then why do you have a needle?" Maddie wondered.

"I don't think you really want to know!" he answered lightly, a brilliant smile on his face.

**Chris: **_**"I wanted to do this originally on top of the twenty kilo run and gorge fest, but it's illegal to drug up minors. If Gwen or Bridgette would've went up, they would've automatically won, but I'm not feeling any static about it since they didn't."**_

Al and Maddie popped the pill in their mouths at the same time and swallowed. Within seconds, Al was on the ground snoozing and Maddie looked wide awake. "Well, that was entertaining!" He narrowed his eyes at Maddie. "I don't know what happened with yours."

"Luck?" she said innocently.

**Maddie: **_**She reaches under her tongue and pulls out the pill, looking groggy. "That is strong. I didn't even swallow but I'm tired… sorry, Al!"**_

**Al and Tawni: **_**"Zzzzz…" Al snoozed away, leaning on Tawni's crutch. The tomboy glared at the camera. "They put Al with the cripple and she isn't even on my team. Real nice, guys! I turned her music up, so I'm hoping it works… oh hey, I like this song!"**_

"Why do we suck so much?" Serenity muttered, looking over her team to find the weakest link.

"D-don't say that, these pass t-two haven't really been our fault," Sapphire said, comforting her team.

"You know what?" Bridgette said, standing up straight. "I can do it. You guys could use a pick-me-up."

"That's totally awesome of you!" Shelly patted the surfer on the back. "You go show them who they're messing with!"

"I'll do more than that!" Bridgette walked off with her eyes half-lidded, determined to bring confidence back to her team.

**Shelly: **_**"You know, Bridgette's really cool. I wish she was in the house with us. I mean, not competing, just… there."**_

"They have Bridgette stepping up," Leila observed, hoping people would start paying more attention to her if she said something. She _had_ to be _way_ more important than the mission at all times. Being a 'nice' person in this house of 'not famous' people was really starting to send her over the edge.

"This one's mine!" Gwen decided, rolling her sleeves up and walking forward.

"Awesoooooome! We got the Vets up here! Bridgette of the Killer Bass and Gwen of the Screaming Gophers! It's like déjà vu!"

"Get over yourself and tell us the mission, Chris."

"Ohh-kay, but remember who was so _eager_. This challenge will be a based on one of the more disturbing challenges – the Brunch of Disgustingness revisited!"Gwen and Bridgette winced at the flashbacks. Their young minds were assaulted by painful images of Chef's Surprise dishes wiggling freely on their plates.

**Gwen: **_**"Gross. Now I know how someone with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder would feel if they were signed up for the next war."**_

**Bridgette: **_**"While this wasn't one of my favorite challenges – that is if I have a favorite challenge – I think it could be a lot worse. I just hope that there's no meat in anything like last time."**_

The group clumped together and traveled over to crowd around the former contestants as they sat side-by-side on splintery bench. Chef came flying over from his kitchen wearing a grin as malicious than the one Chris was sporting. Among other things he was wearing was a waitress uniform that showed off his calves and he had a curly wig on under his hat. He let a plat plop in front of Gwen and put his hand on the lid. "Hope you aren't allergic to things that squeak when you chew!" he cackled as he took the lid off.

"Holy crap!" Gwen slid back as she observed what she was supposed to eat. It resembled lumpy mashed potatoes except for the vile pink tinge. The meal was pulsing in several locations and some sort of orange syrup was leaking from it.

"It smells like acetone," Katroina said, putting her wrist to her nose.

"I don't know what that is!" Krissy said, doing the same.

"Think nail polish remover, but stronger," Dawn explained.

"SHIT! NAIL POLISH REMOVER? KEEP IT _BACK_!" Krissy dove behind Dawn and glared at the offensive… umm… food.

"Ewe, does Gwen have to eat it all?" Lauren gulped.

"Of course!" Chef growled. "What, you don't think it looks good?"

"Well –"

"SHUT UP! Who asked you?" He turned to leer at Gwen. "What are you waiting for? A soda? A menu? Start eating!"

"Does he get the job done or what?" Chris leaned in and said to the girls.

Gwen felt around the table for her fork – unable to look at anything but her final meal. When she got it she took a deep breath and brought her fork down into the lump. She cringed at the cracking noises it made and tried to ignore the layers that peeled away and drifted down to the plate. She shoveled it onto her fork and slowly raised it to her mouth –

"Hey, Chris," the escort came barreling in. "Sorry to interrupt, but we can't seem to find the poisonous blowfish we wanted to use in the Trust challenge. The last place we had it was by the fridge –"

Gwen froze for a brief second before ripping the fork from her face and throwing it across the table at Chris, smacking the food at his chest. He frowned down at the orange and pink good gripping to his shirt. "Not cool, Gwen, not cool."

Chef laughed heartily as he ducked back into his kitchen with his heels clicking madly. He dove back out and put a plate in front of Bridgette. "All you have to do is take a bite," Chris said, "and you got this in the bag… by the way, anyone have an extra shirt on them?"

Chris' request went ignored (much to his displeasure) as Chef lifted up the lid to reveal Bridgette's meal. It wasn't as free-formed as Gwen's and was compacted into a perfect cube. It was specked with every color in the rainbow and then some and it looked like one of the colors were winking. The lax girl shuddered a bit. "Er… there isn't any meat in here, is there?"

"Nope!" Chef said to quickly for her liking.

She gulped and gave her team a nervous smile. "Alright then, I said I was going to get everyone's spirits up, so here goes." She pushed her fork in and lifted up a sliver. She brought it to her mouth with her eyes watering at the stench. She shut her mouth around the food and everyone waited…

And waited…

…

Bridgette took the fork out and chewed carefully. A sudden crunch made everyone's eyes go wide, but she persevered. The swallow looked painful, but she pulled it off and showed off her empty mouth when she was done.

"And we got out first winner on the Bass!" Chris declared, said team going wild with the thrill of victory. "Now seriously, about my shirt situation –"

Stormy looked up at him then down at her notebook. She doodled a shirt that wasn't at all in proportion and ripped it out and handed it to Chris. "Here you go."

He gave the paper a look. "Eh… thanks?" She nodded happily and waited to see what he'd do with it. He sighed and put the page down, but his hands on the hem of his shirt and pulled it off over his head. The girls stopped paying attention to their loss or victory and all eyes were stuck on his well cut chest and all the dips and angles of his muscles –

**Stormy: **_**"I'm starting to regret offering him a paper to cover that up with…"**_

**Leila: **_**"Damn… why didn't he take his shirt off when we were going out?"**_

**Al and Tawni: **_**".ZzZzzzZzz…" Tawni cleared her throat. "She says that she got to see it first and has pictures." Tawni yawned than snapped fully awake, looking down at Al. "Wait, what?!"**_

Chris tossed his shirt with perfect aim into a trashcan and folded the top edge of the paper over his necklace. It didn't cover up very much (not that anyone really minded) but he didn't seem to care. He gave the girls a bedazzling smirk.

"I'm scarred for life," Gwen said, slapping her head into her palm. "How can they all like him?"

Bridgette shrugged. "Do you think it's almost like a bad-boy thing?"

"No way, Bridge. Duncan was a 'bad-boy.' Chris is a _sadist_. I just don't see it."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way!" Chris interpolated smartly. "Now as I get the escort to get me an actual shirt ("Awe…"), we're going to get ready for our next challenge! Pick your ladies, ladies!... What? No one thought that was funny?"

* * *

"Hey, Tawni! How are you holding up?"

Tawni crutched to Shelly after making sure Lena had Al, who was still happily sleeping away. "Not too good. I offered to do the challenge while we were by the Mess Hall thinking it'd be another food one somehow, but now that we're up here… I think I was wrong."

Shelly looked down the large cliff and nodded. "Yeah, something tells me you're right."

"I hope you two aren't afraid of heights, because it's time to send you both over the edge – literally!" Chris announced. He waved down to the beach where the rest of the girls were squinting their eyes desperately to see what was happening. "They'll be joining you any second now!" He said into a megaphone, giving a reassuring thumbs-up. He turned his head over to Shelly and Tawni. "Which one wants to go first?"

"I'll do it and get it over with," Tawni said, hoping her arms were strong enough to make up for the dead weight of her sprained ankle. She didn't find condolence in Chris' bright smile and sudden mood jump – the prospect of someone injured leaping into shallow waters from a cliff must be one of his twisted dreams. She handed Shelly her crutches and limped over to the edge of the cliff. She counted her blessings, concentrated on the good memories life had to offer her, and jumped.

**Sapphire: **_**"The prospect of someone injured leaping into shallow waters from a cliff has got to be one of my most twisted dreams! If only she'd scream… or maybe if there were sharp rocks at the bottom…or a cyclone or two…"**_

Tawni was in perfect diving form and she crashed against the waves. After a few still seconds she resurfaced and swung her arms through the waves, making it back to shore as fast as she could with a handicap. She coughed and collapsed on the sand, feeling the energy slip away with the current.

"That was great, Tawni," Roxie said as she hooked her arm around her shoulder and lifted her up.

"That was also scary," Lauren added, taking Tawni's other arm over her shoulder.

Shelly smirked. "That actually looked like a lot of fun! I wonder why I let everyone get to me; I'm the biggest risk-taker I know!" She saluted Chris. "See-ya on the flip side, Shirtless!" She laughed and took a running jump off the cliff. Only after she leapt off did she realize she still had a firm hold on Tawni's crutches and that they completely threw off her balance.

She sailed down, slowly thinking, "Huh, well doesn't that suck," and was as ready as she could be as she belly-flopped against the waves, the impact breaking the crutches into bits and pieces.

"Awe man," Tawni mumbled. "That was Chef's only pair!"

Shelly swam while mostly relying on the current to drift her back to shore. She coughed and held her stomach, which was a brilliant shade of red from the smack of water. "Sorry, Tawni, but that was AWESOME!"

Tawni laughed. "Yeah, you looked pretty cool jumping down like that! And you got it all on tape, too!"

* * *

"I decided Chris was right. This is kind of like déjà vu." Sapphire wiped her worry from her forehead as she watched Lauren, Roxie, and Stormy stand around on the other side of a line in the sand. She remembered their performances in the Volleyball challenge and felt weak in the knees.

"Chill out! This is Dodgebrawl – we get to catch the ball this time!" Serenity said in support. "'Sides, it could be way worse… we could be up against Eva or something."

"Yeah, no worries, Sapphire," Lena said. "It'll be fun! It's just a game."

"Hehe… r-right…"

"It's Dodgebrawl time! We got Lena, Serenity, and Sapphire from the Bass that kill and Lauren, Roxie, and Stormy from the Gophers that scream. Three balls are in the middle, and once you're out you can't come back unless a teammate catches a ball. Everyone got that? Who cares if you do… get ready and… go for it!"

* * *

**So, finally – the girls voted on in chapter one are discovered! Gwen had the most votes, Bridgette came in second place, and I forget who third place was… all I definitely know is no one voted for Beth or Eva… the poor girls, they have my vote!**

**Okay, bad news: this was hella late. Es tut mir leid, darlings.**

**Good news: spring break equals long car rides to beaches and friend's abodes which equals two updates! Though it's not for another week, it's still a nice thing to keep in the corner of your mind I suppose…**

**Next chapter will finish up this challenge, elimination, and more Gwen and Bridgette action. I just wanted to update this weekend and I'd feel bad if I took longer… life is just cramped. Darn it. **

**Thanks: everyone who was patient with me as I took forever (you won't believe my list of excuses, so I won't even give them up), everyone who reviewed/continues to reviews/considers it, anyone reading this, and of course the pub room crew for bringing the ghetto to the dirty south XP**

**Special Thanks: Long Lost Twin (I owe you shameless advertising), 1000GreenSun (I get the first book this week!), HowlingWulf (this fic is the ultimate sadist hang-out), Blond with a Brain (you're concern is heartwarming)**


	13. That Camping Show Pt II

**The Challenges of Love**

**13. That Camping Show Pt. II (This… is… **_**Sparta**_**-err…**_**Wawankwa**_**!)**

**I don't own anything – not TDI not anything associated/related to TDI, and most certainly not the lovely ladies. Oh, And Hell Kitty and 300 aren't mine, either.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar_

_-Ladies Left: 16_

…_Or Perhaps You Want a Refresher of the Current Mission Thus Far…_

'_Screaming Gophers'__:_

_TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS SO FAR: 3_

_Gwen – Brunch of Disgustingness – LOST _

_Lauren – Dodgebrawl – PENDING _

_Roxie – Dodgebrawl – PENDING_

_Tawni – Not-So-Happy Campers (Cliff Diving) – WON_

_Stormy – Dodgebrawl – PENDING_

_Dawn – PENDING_

_Krissy – Find Me an Animal – WON_

_Maddie – A-Wake-a-Thon – WON_

_Leila – PENDING_

'_Killer Bass'__: 2_

_Bridgette – Brunch of Disgustingness – WON_

_Lea – Find Me an Animal – LOST_

_Shelly – Not-So-Happy Campers (Cliff Diving) – WON_

_Al – Awake-A-Thon – LOST_

_Lena – Dodgebrawl – PENDING_

_Katroina – PENDING_

_Charlie – PENDING_

_Sapphire – Dodgebrawl – PENDING_

_Serenity – Dodgebrawl – PENDING _

* * *

It was akin to watching a war film. The opposing sides took off on cue in perfect corresponding lines. It was a mad dash to the mid-way point (represented by a poorly spray-painted line). Shoes pounded against the ground in a brutal harmony and ragged breaths chorused together for a pleasing yet disturbing tune. It was when the statistics were fully realized did the games truly begin: three balls to six girls.

Once they were close to the line, some girls started to take risks.

Roxie put all the power she had into her left foot and pounced off against the ground to the ball in the middle with her entire body streamlined and her arms completely outstretched. Serenity saw this and – being also in the middle – dove to the ground, hoping that going below would get her the ball first.

Meanwhile on the left of the middle ball, Lauren ran with all the speed she had to the ball on the edge, her eyes narrowed in a fierce concentration. Stormy, panicking a bit at how close the giggly girl was, decided retreating to the opposite side of the court was a better idea.

Serenity just tried not to trip as she went for the ball on her end, and Lena would have rushed forward and taken advantage of the girl's slowness, but the ball was grabbed away before she was close enough to take it….

Roxie's hands landed on the ball and she pulled it away from Serenity as she reached for it. Serenity luckily was in-reach of the ball on her right and grabbed it. The girls pulled the balls back and slammed them forward into each other with all the might they had. Slashes of vibrant red stained the air as the balls went hurdling at one another. Roxie twirled out of the way of the ball aimed at her and fell on her toes the way a ballerina would land after a few spins. Serenity wasn't so lucky and she had the ball aimed at her shoved into her stomach. The wind was knocked out of her as she went sliding back and out of the war-zone.

The Killer Bass winced and the Screaming Gophers cheered.

**Chris: **_**"Wow, did you see the impact on that one?" Chris smiled at the camera man as he removed a remote from his pocket and tapped a button on it with his thumb. The show screen was replaced with a paused picture of Serenity moments before she was hit with the ball. Her dark oceanic eyes expanded into pools of fear at the large red sphere of misfortunes that was frozen inches away from her action-crinkled navy tank top. "Now, in case anyone missed it – here it is again!" Chris hit the button and replayed the horrific scene. **_

_**He rewound it. "Oh man, I missed it **_**again**_**. Let's see if I can catch it in slow-mo!" The ball was sent into a spin at the speed of dried-up worm moving on salt. Serenity was seen blinking and her lips formed a circle and she slightly waved her hands at the on-coming ball. It looked as if she was trying to get them ready to catch it, but she couldn't do it fast enough. The ball was still spinning as it hurdled her off. She bounced off the ground and groaned in pain.**_

"_**Wait… I think we better see that last part again for good measure!" Serenity was rewound and the image played with her falling and groaning out in pain for another time. "Awwwwwwwwwesome!"**_

Sapphire 'eeped' as her friend went sailing past her (though she too was very pleased to hear the painful reaction of the fall). She hoped to avenge her teammate but Lauren got to the ball she was racing at first. The waitress pulled it back and tossed it forward using technique baseball players did. Sapphire put her hands out as a defense and was surprised to feel the rough rubber digging into her palm and not dropping to the ground. Lauren muttered in misery as she took herself off the court.

**Scoreboard:**

**Killer Bass: **_**XX**_

**Screaming Gophers: **_**XXX**_

"Sapphire!" Shelly called out through cupped hands. "Get Roxie out!"

"Hey, stop giving tips!" Krissy cried. "CC, is she _allowed_ to do that?"

Chris dazzled the girls with a low laugh. "Ah, KK, whatever makes good ratings – and good entertainment – is totally allowed. In fact, I think I'll it a bit _interesting_." Chris' grin went dark and murderous as he took his remote and pointed it to the ball in Serenity's shaking hands. The Bass, noticing how close Chris was to pushing a dangerous-looking button, went wild. "SAPPHIRE, TOSS THE BALL!" was the basic message they all shouted.

Sapphire quickly did as told after noticing the _hint_ of panic in her team's shouts. The ball was a few feet beside Roxie when Chris jabbed a finger into the button and ball self-destructed.

**Chris:**_** "That was… nice," he said offhandedly. "But I missed it – there was just too much smoke! Let's hit it up slow-mo and see what we can find!" The scene was rewound and slowly played out all over again. The ball blew large and burst into flames and smoke, the force sending Roxie to the ground and almost out-of-bounds. Chris paused and a white circle went around the bottom of where Roxie's shirt used to be. "The bottom of her shirt was burned… I wish I could say I feel bad… but I don't!" He gives the camera a 'thumbs up' and smiles brilliantly. "Gotta love surprises like **_**that**_**!"**_

"Now _that's_ what I'm talking about!"

Roxie blinked down at her shirt as she sat up and frowned. "Aw, I liked this shirt…" She looked up and felt confused: did she glare at the other team for throwing the ball at her or Chris for blowing it up…?

Lena went and grabbed a ball that had rolled onto their side and tossed it over at Stormy. The writer sprung to life and slapped the ball away with her notebook and sent it flying over to Sapphire. Since she was still caught-up with the whole 'I almost blew Roxie up' fiasco, she wasn't expecting the ball to slap against her face and send her out of the court.

**Stormy: **_**"I'd like to think that this –" she holds up her notebook "- is the key to my success. If I would've been allowed to use this in gym class, I think I would've done a whole lot better." She stokes her chin and decides that her statement is worth of quoting, and writes it down.**_

The scoreboard became Lena's enemy as she caught the current readings.

**Scoreboard:**

**Killer Bass: **_**X**_

**Screaming Gophers: **_**XXX**_

Despite the odds, a beaming smile crossed her face and lit up her lonely courtside. "You got this!" Bridgette cheered. Katroina and Charlie started a clap for the only defense they had against a serious blow left. Lena gave them a confident nod as she raced to the ball that got Sapphire out.

The ball was like piping magma in her hands and she was quick to send it flying as far away from her as she could at Stormy. The world flipped over as the ball seared the cover of the old, over-loved notebook. Said cover was quick to snap from the power of the throw.

Time seemed to stop as it whirred off the broken cover and was left to bounce to a halt on the ground. Everyone was wide-eyed and fearful as the writer took the scene in.

**Chris: **_**Time actually **_**did**_** stop when Chris paused the scene. "Dodgeball: fifteen bucks. Notebook: ten bucks give or take five. The expression on Stormy's face right now? Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, and for everything else there's reality TV." **_

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stormy cried as she bent over in agony. She looked at the broken cover as tears welled in the corners of her eyes. She took the book and the half that had snapped off and cradled it to her chest. "It… it isn't fair…" she sobbed to the ground, rocking the notebook like it was a weak baby. "I… I love you so much… I… you… you were my _very_ _best friend_. I could t-tell you anything... why did this have to happen?"

"Is that sane to have a notebook as a best friend?" Tawni asked Gwen and Dawn, who had the job of holding her up. The two shrugged, feeling just as awkward to be watching this 'intimate' moment.

Lena, mystified that she threw the ball hard enough to do any damage, was over at the writer's side in an instant. "Stormy, I can't believe that happened! I'm _so_ unbelievably sorry! If there's anything I can do, please let me know –"

Stormy's eyes caught fire as she looked up at the kind girl who was sincerely apologetic. "_You_… you just stay away!" The red head shot up and stalked off to the confessional, leaving a sallow-faced environmentalist to mull over the happenings.

"Well, that's game then!" Chris said. "And it went fast, but considering that one side had the queen of balance and hard hits, it was bound to be a quickie."

"Hey Chris, catch!" Chris went wide-eyed as a ball came zooming at him. He easily caught it and smirked in victory. "Tsch, nice try, dude. But it looks like you just aren't good enough to catch me off-guard!"

"Maybe I am!" He looked over lazily at Roxie and his jaw went slack when he noticed the remote in her hand. "Hey!" he declared. "That's mi-" she pressed it, but instead of exploding into flames and smoke this ball burst into a thick red powder. She giggled as he wiped his face off with his free hand. "Dude, not cool."

"Dude, revenge," she giggled, high-fiving her teammates who more-than approved of the idea.

**Roxie: **_**"That's what happens when you blow up a ball and burn my shirt, Chris. It's called tough love."**_

**Chris: **_**He is looking down at his shirt and sighs hopelessly. "Why do they keep taking cheap shots at my digs?! Whatever, let them think they won – this isn't over yet!"**_

**Gwen: **_**"I think I could start a mutiny on this show." She stands up and jabs a finger at the camera. "For all the hell you put me through, I'll get you back now, Chris!"**_

**Stormy: **_**She continues to sob while holding her book helplessly in her arms. A wandering fly floats into her wide mouth and she chokes and starts violently coughing. She slaps her hand against her throat. After a particularly body-shattering convulsion, a shivering fly zips up of her mouth and out of the stall between two flimsy wood panels. Her eyes water. "Ewe…"**_

"The score stands," Chris started, slapping away the red stains on his clothes and skin. "Bridgette's Bass have two wins, three losses. Gwen's Gophers have one loss, four wins. But the game isn't over yet – anyone can win! Ladies get your next reps up!"

"Okay, we seriously need to win this next one!" Serenity said, holding her stomach and walking keeled over. Charlie passed the still-sleeping Al over to Shelly and stepped forward. "I got this one, guys. It can't be worse than Dodgebrawl and jumping from cliffs."

"Oh, they're sending over the columnist," Leila said sweetly, her eyes narrowing as the blonde with pink-streaked hair made friendly conversation with Chris. He looked too happy with life for her liking. "I'll go up."

"Sweet, we got Charlie from the Killer Bass and Leila from the Screaming Gophers! You guys pumped and ready for action?" The girls looked less than thrilled. "Oh-kay then, killjoys! I have the perfect challenge for you both: Phobia Factor!"

**Charlie: **_**"I don't remember mentioning my fears…"**_

**Leila: **_**"Oh god, Chris is going to get me pregnant on national television?! That BASTARD!" **_

**Stormy: **_**She's still crying, only with a hand placed firmly over her mouth and the other swatting away at the flies.**_

* * *

Light crept in from the thin air-tunnel and looked out of place in the middle of the dark space. Leila felt every breath was harder to get as she squinted her eyes and moved her head around the tight glass coffin. She knew she was surrounded by sand, but she couldn't see a speck of it considering how deep she was. Worry wrenched at her gut and she wondered what would happen if she was forgotten or she ran out of oxygen among the hoards of other fear-driven thoughts.

"I can understand," she said into the air tube, "why being buried alive is scarier than it looks, Gwen."

The other team's former cast mate groaned. "Yay for you. Now try having the person who promised to stay with you get chased off by their fear and leave you completely alone!"

The Killer Bass ignored the calamity of the other group as they huddled around a television, showing Charlie sitting pretty in the middle of a forest. She didn't seem to mind being alone and was leaned back on a tree, patiently waiting for time to be up.

"Say Chris, why did you use Bridgette's fear for Charlie and Gwen's fear for Leila?" Katroina wondered.

"Besides the fact they're on the same teams and it makes more sense than switching it up?" Chris replied, trying to make his tone sound innocent. "Because we still had the glass coffin from the original Total Drama Island and we don't like to waste equipment."

"Recycling? That's good. You hear that, Lena? He recycles more than just bombs and explosives," Katroina said, nudging her friend with her free arm (her other arm supported the still snoozing Al).

Lena flicked her eyes up and smiled sadly. "I'm happy, I'm just so upset over what happened with Stormy. She bolts in and out of the confessional and just cries. I never upset anyone like that before."

"Get over it." The girls looked away from the screen of a calm Charlie to see Chris. He was rubbing his scruffy chin and looked like he was solving something in his head. "Hmm, she's not that entertaining to watch, is she? We might have to spice up this serene scene!"

"Wait, Chris – what did you say?" Lena asked.

"_Hmm_? Oh, get over it. The book was bound to break one of these days. I don't see why she just doesn't tape it together or something." He went to go push a button when Lena tackled him in a hug. "That's a great idea! Thanks!" He looked down at her and his chest got tight. He tried to brush the affection off and looked up. "Yeah, yeah, go celebrate somewhere else and let me get back to business." She took off and he felt a bit lonely at the missing warmth, but he took his mind off it by putting his eyes to the screen and tapping on his infamous red button.

* * *

Charlie didn't mind the forest. It was almost calming here. The chirping birds, the swaying of the tree branches, the bear's feral growl…

Wait, bears?!

Charlie shot up and looked around in panic. A scream snagged in her throat as a bear came wondering over to her. She was a city girl, it's not like she took frequent camping trips to the mountains. She had _no_ idea how to fend off bears!

Just then, a bomb went off a between the wild animal and herself and the bear went took off. Charlie felt relieved though she had dark thoughts turned to Chris, who she knew set off the bomb in the first place. She decided to climb up a tree for in case the bear's friends made an appearance. She also had a more pressing thought weighing on her mind… "Is that bear heading toward camp?"

* * *

"HOLY SHIT THAT BEAR IS HEADING FOR HERE!" Krissy took action and dove into the confessional, where hysteric shouts and cries from Stormy brewed before said writer was promptly tossed out.

She rubbed her sore eyes and was surprised to look up and see Lena holding out shining black tape to her. "It's electric tape," she said with a shrug and nervous smile. "It was all the camera crew had and I think it looks cool…"

Stormy smiled and crashed into Lena with a tight hug, showing her more fondness than she had anyone else on the show and seemingly overlooking the fact it was her who broke it.

"I would be shocked by that if I wasn't so worried about the bear problem!" Bridgette said.

"Chill out," Chris said. "There's no way the bear can make it from Charlie to here that fast if at all. It's not like it'll just follow the path." Lea poked Chris' shoulder and he turned around. "What?"

"There's a bear right over there at the opening of the path Charlie went down," she said simply.

"What?" he repeated, turning on his heels. He blinked at a mass of brown, with some of its fur burned thanks to Chris' bomb. It seemed to realize this (being the smart bear he was) and he focused his beady eyes from the remote to the sadist and charged forward.

"DAAAAAMN!" he cursed, taking off for the mess hall and locking the door behind him. After hearing the 'click' of the lock turning, the girls all froze in horror. The bear first turned on the camera crew, who was zooming in and out.

"Hey, we have your best interest at heart!" one of the crew members said. "We're videotaping you – you're going to be on TV! You're gonna be famous!" The bear seemed to understand and like this logic and he turned on the girls.

"I don't see why you're all panicking," Lena said. "He seems intelligent! I think if we –"

"No!" Gwen snapped, grabbing her hand and holding her back. "I've dealt with one psycho-animal lover, I refuse to go through the consequences of letting it happen again!"

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Bridgette clutched her mouth and ran for the confessional. Her face was so green the bear just let her be.

**Krissy: **_**"I'm so glad to be here. Let those bitches get eaten, I'll just win faster! And look, my nails are still nice! I-" The door was thrust open and Bridgette gagged all over an unsuspecting Krissy's lap where she was sitting on the toilet. Krissy brought her soiled hands up and looked at them with fear struck across her face. "My outfit… my spa-smell… my nails…" Bridgette muttered and apology and sat down, muttering how the brunch was catching up with her.**_

As the bear was distracted, the girls ran for near-by trees and climbed up. They were all safe…

Well, not all…

"Hey, is anyone up there?!" Leila whined. "More importantly, is anyone paying attention to me?!"

"Relax, Leila," Tawni said, patting the area beside the model's 'grave' while making sure Al didn't roll off her shoulder. "You got the cripple and coma-girl here as company."

"Well that's just _great_," she spat. "You two will get eaten since you're easy targets and I'll be alone! Doesn't anyone care about me?"

Tawni gave the grave a weary stare. "Y'know, hostel situations bring out the worst in you."

Leila had enough. Between being ignored and left with middle-class company, she had just about enough. She banged against the glass with her weak fists and kicked at it as best she could from every angle. "That's it! I want _out_! This reminds me of my photo shoot where I was a mermaid in a tank and I was hot but got all wet only this time no one can see my hotness and I'm dry!"

Tawni runs a hand through her hair and gives the camera a deadpanned expression. "I would go to the confessional, but seeing as I can't walk, Al's sleeping on me, and the bear is slowly making its way over, I'll just settle for saying my last words here." She limply salutes the camera. "Family, I love you guys. Friends back home, you guys rocked too. Friends here," she gave the people in trees a scathing look, "you all suck, _you ditchers_. Chris," she glared pointedly at the Mess Hall, "I was really starting to like you, but I guess you'll never get to figure out how things could have gone because you ditched me, too. Oh, and you also suck. Chef, I think you lied when you called a truce. There, I'm set. Kill me now, bear, just kill me now."

The bear sniffed and rubbed its paw at its eye. It seemed truly taken by the heart at Tawni's 'sentimental' last words and it took off the other way. Tawni blinked. "Whoa, that's pretty cool."

**Lena: **_**"I told them the bear was smart! Why didn't anyone listen to me? I'm sure we could have reasoned with it earlier!"**_

**Sapphire: **_**"That was pathetic on the bear's part! PAH-THET-ICK! I wanted to see some blood! I was hoping the bear would be hungry and go ravenous on the two victims! I wanted Tawni to have her leg taken and –" Leila opens the door and throws Sapphire out.**_

**Leila: **_**"I am so freakin' pissed! Chris is so going to get it! Like, I thought he was in trouble before, but he's really going to be in for it now. Like, reeeeally!" She flicks her hair over her shoulder and poses. "Oh, and I think that Krissy girl puked on herself. How gross is that?"**_

* * *

Camp Wawanakwa was doing some major damage on both teams. Charlie had come back to find that she had won, Leila had lost due to forfeit, and everyone was murmuring about bear repellants and whether they worked (and were environmentally friendly) or not. With people looking so distraught, you'd think there would be a break or intermission of some sort. But that's just not how Chris Maclean operated.

"It's down to our last mission," the sadistic host announced cheerfully. After the bear left, he walked out feeling and looking as manly as ever and didn't seem to have any recognition of a bear wandering to camp and chasing him down. "This is a make-or-break, babes. We got Katroina as the last hope to keep the Killer B's safe. If she can do it, we go into sudden-death!" No one liked the sound of this, so her team whispered supportive words and phrases that let her know it was okay to lose sometimes.

"On the Screaming G's we got Dawn. If she wins this one, it's a wrap-up and they get to go home first class and together." The team hooted with joy and praised Dawn, putting all their hope into her.

**Dawn: **_**"I've never flown first-class before, so it's good motivation. Still, this is kind of stressful. I mean, what would my team do to me if I lost?"**_

**Krissy: **_**"If she loses… well, she better not!"**_

**Maddie: **_**She gives the camera a peace sign. "I haven't been in here a while!" She inhales through her nose and she is quick to cover up her mouth. "Ugh, now I remember why."**_

"Our maybe last challenge is one of the more disturbing ones, but I'm on a roll from all the bets I've been winning recently I figure I might test my luck and see how I fair this time 'round –"

"Off topic much?" Maddie said.

"I do that from time to time! Anyways, get ready for _I Triple Dog Dare You_! Though since it's the second time around, we can raise the stakes and make it _I Quadruple Dog Dare You_! The loser is the first one to forfeit a dare, but you both get freebies since it'd be a drag otherwise and I'm such a nice guy like that. Katroina, you're up first."

Chris went to remove a sheet from a large wheel but stopped when a door from the Mess Hall slammed open. Everyone watched as Chef came running over in bright pink stilettos. He had on a sparkling strapless black dress that fluffed out at his knees. He wore expensive jewels to finish the outfit off. Chris seemed the only one who was unafraid of the enraged cook and he stepped to the side. "You have dibs, brah."

"You bet I do!" Chef straightened out his dress. Once he felt pretty, he gripped the cover and ripped it off, revealing a wheel. It had pictures of the eight cast-members voted off to date on it.

"Hey, we had way more!" Gwen complained.

"Yeah, but I really wanted to this challenge and didn't really want to wait!" Chris smiled at Katroina. "Go for it!"

"Heh, sure, Chris," Katroina said, not feeling any more confident than she had before he said anything to her. With a large breath she gripped the handle and spun. She wasn't too sure who would be safe to land on and hoped that maybe something could go wrong instead. Maybe some she wouldn't have to go or use her freebie.

As fate would have it, her arrow landed on Ulli.

"Orangey! If she treats you like she does my gym equipment, this'll be great for ratings!" Chris tugged out a deck of cards he had with him and searched it for the Olympian-wannabe's dare. "Uh-huh, found it! Katroina, you're dare is to fake-n-bake! Oh, and the catch is you have to have this Hello Kitty over your stomach, so you know – it imprints!"

Katroina was shaking her head before he even finished. "I'm going to have to use up my freebie, Chris."

"Good for her," Lena whispered to Charlie. "I would've done the same."

"I know what you mean," Charlie agreed. "I don't like the idea of baking myself."

"Alright then… wimp…" he coughed. "Dawn, you're up!" Dawn felt as nervous as her competition as she spun the wheel. Her arrow landed on Bell.

"You're dare is to eat a box of raisins," Chris read off the card. He shrugged and tossed a box over to her.

"Really?" she said. "Great! I could use some good luck!"

Katroina glared at the happily munching Gopher and took her second swing. She too landed on Bell. She was in high hopes until Chris read off her challenge. "Steal Al's iPod!"

"What?" she asked incredulously. "That's not even fair!"

"Dude, nothing's fair. It's called my life!" Chris answered, going into a long mumbling rant about contracts that no one listened to.

Katroina summoned up her nerve and walked over to Al, who was sleeping on Tawni. She carefully reached down and tugged the slick of metal from her pockets. It was a struggle considering how tight the girl's jeans were, but eventually she had it out. She made sure to reach slowly for the earphones. Once she removed them, she sighed in relief and stepped over. "Dare completed."

Chris gave her the okay, and smirked. "Now it's payback time." Katroina looked over her shoulder and saw Al's eyes explode wide open and zero in on the iPod clutched in her hands. Katroina was quick to toss it back into Al's open hands.

The music lover instantly calmed down and tucked the earphones back in. "Sweet, I love this song!" She yawned and looked around. Her face started to drift blank. "Hey, ugh, what the heck is going on?"

"Our last challenge and we're losing," Lea answered. "You were asleep for quite some time."

"Oh… did I win against Maddie?"

"Not by a long shot," Tawni told her.

"Crap! Maddie must be totally immune to drugs or something!" Maddie sheepishly laughed at her friend's praise and she was quick to relocate herself behind someone else to avoid the guilty feeling she got.

Dawn spun the wheel, hoping for more good fortunes. Her arrow landed on Nina. Chris got out her card sniggered. "Oh, I like this girl's style. She may be spazzy, but she knows how to dare!"

"What is it?" Dawn asked, grimacing from his happy face.

"Oh, nothing too bad… she just wants you to be locked in the Confessional with me for three minutes."

Dawn considered this. After a few silent moments, she started over to the confessional. "That's not so bad," she decided, opening the door. Chris manically laughed as he took in after her, shutting the door.

**Chris & Dawn: **_**Chris was ready to take advantage of the dare and he leaned in, but the smell was unbearable. "Gross, this place reeks! Did someone puke or what? Dude, you're off the hook for now!" She went flying out a second later. Dawn smiled at the camera, holding her nose and waving her hand at flies. "As I said, it's not so bad."**_

Katroina, like everyone else, was pleased to see the quick dare and she felt a bit more hopeful as her arrow spun around the wheel. She landed on Mandy. "Well… this should be interesting: sing the popular Miley Cyrus song –"

"No! Stop there!" Al ran up to Katroina's side. "Listen, you don't have to do this! Think about it: Miley Cyrus!"

"But –"

"No! You don't understand! If I hear one more song from her, _I'm going to freak_!"

"What was that? Freak? There will be no freaking on this program!" Chris tucked the cards away. "In that case, Gophers win! Ladies, go get in my wicked jet and wait for takeoff. Bass, get ready for elimination!"

"Wait, Chris, what about us?" Bridgette wondered, pointing to herself and Gwen. "We kind of don't want to be here anymore."

Chris' brows creased together. "I don't care what you do. Why are you asking me?"

* * *

"Elimination time, girls. I'll be giving out a marshmallow to each one of you – except for the one I don't give a marshmallow out to. If you are that one, head down the Dock of Shame and take a trip back on the Boat of Losers. And remember that you can never come back… _ever_. This also means you'll probably be single for a while since you couldn't get a catch like me and you'll go spiraling into a dark abyss called depression! But the only reason I know this is because I had teenagers on my show again today! Nasty little things, aren't they?"

"Al, catch!" She caught it and popped the fluff in her mouth.

**Chris: **_**"I won't lie – I was thankful for the intervention."**_

**Katroina: **_**"Do I mind that she got me to fail? Not really. I didn't really want to win and find out what 'sudden-death' was."**_

"Lena! Shelly! Katroina!" They all caught their marshmallows happily. "Charlie!" She was pleased with her catch also. "Now out final three: Lea, Sapphire, and Serenity." Lea looked cool and collected, Sapphire was twiddling with her thumbs, and Serenity was tapping her foot anxiously against the sand.

"Yeah, I was disappointed with the lack of effort, but whatever. Redeem yourself." Chris tossed a marshmallow at Lea.

**Lea: **_**She shrugs. "I don't know how else I could've handled that situation."**_

"It's down to our final two, and the last one to get a marshmallow is –" there was a suspense as the two girls leaned forward. "Sapphire. You're sexy, you're hot, and most importantly you're quiet, but babe I can't date someone who has better torture tactics and more twisted ideas than I do. That's brutal on any man's ego."

"Pfsh, that's ridiculous!" Serenity said. "She's not a sadist!"

"Anyways!" Katroina said.

"She's one of the nicest people here!" Al agreed.

"I'm sorry, but the great one – which is me, hi – has spoken." Sapphire walked up and blushed as she gave him a quick hug and rocketed off the other direction. He chuckled to himself, hoping he had some of her Confessional's on tape. Her ideas were pretty good. "So, who's ready to catch a ride home?

* * *

**Sapphire: **_**"I can see why Chris would send me home… it's a good reason, and I can't say I wouldn't target him one of these days. I'm glad to see that at least he was straight with me and didn't try to blame it on something else. I wonder if I wouldn't have told him anything, if maybe we could've had a relationship and I would've won…?" She laughs hysterically. "Oh well, maybe now I'll get to host some shows of my own! I wonder if The Network's hiring…?"**_

* * *

**I'm kind of really sad… Sapphire was one of my favorites to write :( She was so amazingly bipolar… sighs… I get sad every time someone leaves, don't get me wrong, but she packed a punch.**

**Special Thanks: Everyone, you're all amazing.**


	14. Another Day, Another Love Interest

**The Challenges of Love**

**14. Another Day, Another Love Interest**

* * *

**This would have been up sooner, but FF didn't seem intrested in letting me post... anyways, I said double update before break was over, and I meant it. This isn't anything long and there are not any challenges or eliminations, this is just something cute. My brain's too muddled to do another one and I have too much going on to do my usual write, write, and rewrite thing. **

**I don't own Total Drama or anything related/associated. I also have no ownership over the awesomely awesome oc's. Lonely am I.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre_

_-Ladies Left: 15_

* * *

An alarm clock worked well to rouse Chris from his sleep. When his alarm wasn't set, it usually meant that he got to sleep-in and wanted to wake up whenever he damn well felt like waking up. It was rare for him to not have anywhere to be or anything to do that involved him waking up with the sun, but it did happen. He enjoyed the days when he got up at his usual time and remembered he could enjoy his top-of-the-line mattress some more and fell back into sweet sleep.

Today was one of those special sleep-in occasions. It was bound to be a good morning.

Too bad it wasn't.

A light stun his eye lids, and he couldn't control them as they flipped open to see what the threat was. He groaned and his hand clung to his face to block out the sunshine. He rolled his head over and groaned again at the time. Eight o'clock was _far_ too early to get up.

"The hell I thought I closed those damn shades…" he muttered to himself, waving at them as if he could shut them from his spot on the bed. They didn't shut, and he wasn't about to get up, so he was in quite a predicament. With his eyes squinted shut so he would wake up anymore than he already had, Chris groped around his bed for his blanket to throw over his head. Not finding it, he cursed his luck. He probably kicked it to the floor… _again_.

More of his tired senses went under attack. His door slapped against the doorstop as it was shoved open, the sound ringing in his ears through the silence. A sour smell poisoned his precious air and he suddenly wished he had the willpower to open his eyes and see what was going on around here.

Chris wasn't keen about giving up on his chance at sleep so he kept his eyes shut as he tilted his head to the sound. "Dude, what's your damage?"

"What do you mean, Chris?" a sickly sweet voice answered. "I just made you breakfast in bed. I thought you should use a special wakeup call."

He banged his head against his mattress (his pillows were on the floor too) and he gave up on sleep for a moment. His eyes flicked opened and zeroed in on his _darling_ model. She looked wide awake and gorgeous, ready to show off her godly looks to anyone she greeted during the day. Her picture perfect pose was burned by a pale yellow tray that had a mold of wet gray clay on it among other disturbing piles clutched in her manicured hands.

He stared disbelievingly at the tray, his sleep-clogged mind had him focus on figuring out what it was. The model busied her clear sky eyes on his form. "Hmm… I like your boxers."

"You know what I like, Leila? Sleep." He leaned up and reached for his thick blanket on the floor by her heels. He swiftly yanked it up and coiled together under its coolness. "Close my shades, take your crap food, and _get out_."

Leila stomped her foot down. "No, Chris, I want you to pay attention to me! What if I told you I have gossip on the girls? What if I _offered_ you something?"

"I'd tell you to wait 'til later," he yawned. Leila felt angry that she did any work at all to get on his good side (even if it was for her plan) and angry at being ignored. Determined to get him to notice her, she tossed the tray at his blanket. Chris flinched in annoyance and the tray oozed from his thick comfort to the carpet. "Not cool."

"Yeah? Well I don't care!" She stomped her foot to the ground and crossed her arms. "I'm sick of you not paying attention to me! Not when we were going out, not now that I'm here, you're just – ugh!"Leila stopped herself before she exploded anymore. She huffed and glared down at the pillow by her ankle.

Chris blinked slowly under his blanket, and he let his eyes flick over to where she stood in the morning light. Eventually she got fed up and her feet gave the floor a serious beat down as she made her way out. She slammed the door shut with the same vigor that she opened it.

"Harsh," he breathed out. He hadn't been that bad, he decided. She just exaggerated.

Sleep hazed back into his thoughts and he was ready for a second round when his door opened for a second time that morning. "Chris?" Lena whispered softly. "Everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" he muttered, along with, "Sheesh, doesn't anyone here value sleep?"

Lena's fingers tapped against the door as she considered the answer. "So I should forget the loud sounds and the angry Leila?"

"You got it."

Lena was about to leave when she realized how adorable Chris was. He only had a tuft of his beloved brown hair sticking out of his blanket, making it the only thing of him she could see. His blanket was flopped over haphazardly, though he was clumped together tightly under it. She laughed lightly at the scene. He gruffly mumbled something that sounded like he asked her what. Her laugh subsided and she was left with a smile. "I was just trying to remember this."

The blankets shifted and his head poked out. His brows were creased together, though the hair falling over his face hid that from view. "What's that supposed to mean? Remember this for what?"

She sighed, but was still smiling. She walked over and shut his blinds and went to the door, pausing and turning to look at him again. "Do I need a reason? I like you, isn't that enough?"

"Not really."

"Well, it's going to have to be, because it's the truth." She looked over at him, her eyes soft, her mouth still in a light smile. "I like you, Chris. I only like you more the longer I'm here. Just being near you makes me happy. Seeing you makes me happy. Why wouldn't I want to remember this feeling?" She smiled wider and waved as she shut the door with the gentle click.

She said it… the way she said it… she sounded… _serious_. He'd never heard that much conviction in a person's voice when they talked to him about how they felt for him. He'd heard that Tawni had said that, but he didn't get to hear from the Mess Hall. Roxie had made him prove it with a kiss. Did she say it like Lena had? Did these girls mean it as much as they seemed?

Chris pushed himself out of bed grumpily and spiraled around the carpet over to his bathroom door. He tapped it open, flicked his light on, and got the shower to searing hot temperatures. Even as he was in the shower, brushing his teeth, doing his hair, putting on his threads, he kept going back to the thoughts he had.

Girls here kept saying they liked him, they kept trying to convince him they liked him with their actions, they kept confusing the _hell_ out of the guy. If they kept it up, he might start to believe it. And that's… that's a scary thought.

A scarier thought: what if he started to reciprocate the feelings? Was that even possible?

No, it wasn't. Leila was out to get him, you didn't need to be paranoid to see that much. You just had to know the real her, which Chris _did_. She would tell him anything to mess with his head and have him forgetting about her motives for actually showing up (which was to make him look like a fool, and Chris Maclean was not about to be a mockery on his own show). Lena… she had to be just a fan girl who would turn him away as soon as they were alone.

He froze. They had been alone plenty of times. He met her up in the roof sometimes. She said that even after they were alone? And they had _just_ talked?

He shook his head, messed his hair up, and struggled to get it just right again. He just needed to stop thinking about it so much is all. These girls were all messing with him, and he wasn't about to let them have the last laugh. He needed to remember his plan, too. He was forced into this and he would make sure that the last girl standing would hate him so much they'd turn him down, and if not he'd break it off the second the camera's turned off. No turning back now, no second guessing, no changing his mind. It was as simple as that…. Right?

* * *

At around ten, Chris was in the kitchen, raiding the cabinets for his favorite snacks to munch on for breakfast. Having purposely remembered Chef's day-off this week, the well-built cook was more than happy to get his gear together to hit the beach for a day of fun and relaxation… whatever that may be for him. He apparently left only a short while ago after having made the girl's breakfast, but at least he was out so Chris didn't have to sneak around for edible meals.

"I heard about your sweet tooth." Chris looked over his shoulder at Dawn, who had crept up under his hand that was reaching for a box of cupcakes. She grabbed pancake mix and winked at him playfully. "Want a _real_ breakfast?"

"Doesn't sound bad," he admitted, watching her gather up supplies Chef had drying. She pushed a few buttons on the stove and had a pan lying out. She chopped a few slices of butter and smothered the bottom with it. Already the kitchen smelled better.

"Do you like anything in your pancakes?" she asked once she had gotten to mixing the batter and laying some strips of bacon down on a separate pan.

"Well, now that you mention it, I do!" Chris went for a bag of chocolate chips. He ripped the seal off and dunked the entire thing in. He frowned when they all disappeared. "I think we need more."

"No, it's more than enough," she assured him. She looked up at him, one of her eyes went missing under a glare on her glasses. "Any other ideas on what we can have?"

He realized that she was still in her pajamas. Her usual faux hawk was frazzled and splayed every which way, her blue tee was wrinkled from sleep, and her sweat pants looked to comfy to not sleep in. If anyone could use a breakfast in bed, it was this girl. "Nah, I think we'll make out okay."

"Hmm." She poured the batter out into perfect circles. Chris smirked and 'accidently' nudged her over so they ran together. She frowned as he threw his head back and laughed hysterically at her blanched face. She turned to him, ready to tell him to go sit and wait somewhere, but there his Adam's apple was – _taunting h_er.

"Curse my weird fetish," she incoherently muttered to herself, looking away quickly and letting him get away with messing with her techniques of preparing a simple breakfast.

By the time they were eating at the table, they had eaten crispy bacon and blobs of messed up pancakes mashed on their plates. "This is still good, despite looking like Chef made a decent attempt." Dawn looked up at the happily fed host. "So are you the reason his food looks messed up? You just go in there when he's cooking and mess with him?"

"Please, I think if anything my distractions would help the man out."

"Then why did you hire him as the cook?"

"Heh, well –"

"CC!" KK tackled Chris in a forceful hug. Dawn couldn't help but smile as Chris gave her a pathetic "ef my life" look. "Sorry," she mouthed, gathering up their used plates and walking over to the kitchen to clean up. It looked like growing up in a small town made her independent. Unlike the girl on his back…

"KK, you interrupted my food time," he said darkly.

"So? I haven't seen you in thirteen _days_, you sneaky jerk!" She cuddled into him and clung tighter to his shirt. "You're always doing something, and everyone feels the same. Not that they matter or anything though, only _we_ do."

"What can I say? I'm occupied." He felt stifled at her 'we' but pressed on. "Beside, didn't you get to ride first class with me for a couple of hours those thirteen days ago?"

"You mean the ride where you were _sleeping_ the entire time?" she said flatly. "You're making us miserable."

"Oh?" he smirked. "I guess this might be a good day after all!" Krissy slapped his arm and got off him. "CC, when's your next challenge?"

"Later today," he confessed brashly. "Why, someone getting neeeeeeervous?"

She gave him a scathing look. "No, I just want to know when out next date is. I could use some alone time to make you want to stay more." He gulped as she sashayed out the room. Great, even the bitch of the house seemed to actually like him now. He must be seriously delusional.

* * *

"Chris! What's up?" Maddie waved out to Chris as he walked pass the pool area, heading for the new control room in his racetrack. She was relaxing on a lounge chair, but was quick to jump up and stride by his side. "I haven't seen you since you were sleeping on the plane ride two weeks ago! What, did you forget you had a house full of girls crazy for you or something?"

Her tone was joking and fun, but he felt an unmistakable pang in his chest at the mention of girls being crazy for him. He just couldn't escape these outrageous thoughts and ideas, could he? "More or less, Maddie babe. Why, did you have too much fun without me?"

"Try none." She puffed her lip out. "Well, that's a lie, I had some. I just wished you were there, you know? I even wished for a mission."

"You're in luck! There's going to be a mission _later_ today, which I'm preparing for."

"Sweet! I can't wait to win that date! What'll it be?"

Chris arched a brow. "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. You don't even know the genius of the mission yet!"

"So? I wouldn't be so masterful if I were you." She swung an arm around his neck, though it was a bit of a struggle due to the height difference she seemed to manage fine enough. "Work with me here. I'm thinking we can finally go out clubbing like we were planning once upon a time."

Chris' eyes twinkled. "Clubbing, huh? That may not be an impossible suggestion to work with. Yeah… I got your back, kay? I'll make the clubbing thing happen fer sure." Maddie smiled and heard someone calling her, so she ran off the other way after giving Chris a glomp goodbye, further messing with his confused head.

"Got her back for what?" Chris looked up at Katroina. She had been walking back from the control room.

Chris tilted his head. "Where did you come back from?"

"The Control Room," she answered looking a bit agitated. "I had to run a few pizzas they ordered over to them. Apparently I'm a delivery girl now."

"That'd be something to see," Chris mused. "Harvard – the delivery girl from – duh – Harvard! Come to think of it, that's kind of weird."

"Which is why you'd think of it." She waved her hand. "I'm hoping to go into politics or becoming an environmentalist. If that fails, I guess delivery things is a good money maker… the camera crew gave me a great tip. I refused, of course," she added fervently, seeing the wide 'Another poor person to make fun of!' smile creep onto his face.

They continued the long walk to the Control Room quiet. She didn't have to walk with him, but she was. Why would she? Wasn't she just down here? The familiar panic assaulting Chris came back tenfold. Maybe – oh no – maybe _she_ liked him, too!

"Harvard, be straight with me," Chris said, trying to sound serious. "Do you want to sex me up?"

Katroina's face screamed 'huh' as she looked over at him with her face contorted together. "Sex you up?" He nodded. She bit her lip and burst out laughing. "Wow, I haven't heard _that_ one yet! You're slang doesn't cease to challenge my mind, did you know that?"

"Um, no."

She laughed and shook her head at his simple answer. "If you mean to ask me whether I like you or not, the answer is… yes, I guess I do. But I think you have a lot of growing up and changing to do before it gets any further."

Chris stopped listening after she said 'yes.' That one word was the only thing he could hear.

* * *

"EEEEEEEP!"

Chris had his door locked and felt safe for a while until an ear splitting scream scratched his ears. He brushed it off, having heard more terrible things before. It wasn't too good to try and fix every girl's problem anyways, so he just stayed at his laptop typing away emails and orders for things for his missions. His safety was ripped from him as his door went soaring open with a crash for the second time that day. Oh yeah, his lock was definitely gone now.

He was thinking of a few possible girls to end up doing such a thing, but Shelly hadn't been one of them. She had tore through his door and raced right into his arm, finding condolence by suffocating herself against his cologne-spritzed shirt.

"Yo," he said. "Wanna tell me who died and why the heck I missed it?"

"N-no… I… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" She made Krissy's gropes look weak as she pushed herself further into him.

"Chill, babe! What's the static that has you flying off the chart?" He didn't understand why she was so hysterical. Shelly was energetic sure, but she didn't go crazy like this ever. Something must have gone awry. He just hoped whatever the event was that the lazy camera crew had it on tape.

"Shelly!" Chris rolled his eyes as Lauren slammed his door open all the way and caught sight of her. "There you are! Listen, I took the snake away. It's okay to go outside, I promise."

The brown haired girl shook her head, rubbing Chris' shirt with every turn of her head. "I don't care, I _hate_ snakes. I'm hiding out here!"

Chris gave his laptop a mournful look. Well, it was nice to get things accomplished while he had a chance. "I wouldn't have thought snakes scared you and I wouldn't have thought you could take a snake away."

Lauren looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. "Chris, there's _a lot_ of things you don't know about me." He tilted his head at her and even the strange tone she took had Shelly looking up at her to figure out what she meant. Lauren quickly waved her hands around, looking a bit alarmed at their curiosity. "Ah, I mean that's why I'm here! So you can get to know those things! Eventually! Because I like you and all, and… yeah…" she laughed awkwardly and darted out at a surprising speed.

Chris groaned, overlooking her weirdness by her last comment. Another one likes him.

"Chris, is it okay if I stay here for a while?" Shelly asked, her voice muffled against the material of his expensive clothes and her breath hot on it.

He pushed his hand against his forehead, willing an impending headache from wreaking havoc from all his revelations. "Sure, why not?"

"Thanks," she said, calming down considerably. "You may not seem nice at first, but I think you're a sweet guy. You make me feel safe."

Sweet? Safe? Damn, another one who seemed to actually like him…

* * *

As soon as Shelly felt secure enough to go out and around the house (she must really, _really_ hate snakes) Chris went on full lockdown. He did not want to see any other girl. He was being driven to the edge of thoughtlife by all these chicks. The last thing he needed was more confessions of sorts. He had his door closed and hoped no one else would need to come in for any reason. Life was going smoothly until his phone vibrated.

"Yo?"

"CHRIS! THE CAMERA CREW IS BEING HARASSED BY THE WRITER WITH TWO NAMES AGAIN!"

Chris slapped a hand to his face. God, when will it end? "Dude, just, I don't know, tell them to answer her questions or something. Or get Lena – she listens to her now."

"But Chris, she's _crazy_," the man – presumably a head of camera crew staff member – pressed. "She wants to see recordings from past episodes to check her notes. She keeps notes, Chris!"

"Dude it's, like, basically her thing." Chris got up. "Whatever, I don't want to handle it. I'm in the middle of something important here, brah." He chanced a fleeting look over to the solitaire game that was over the document he should be working on and exed out of it. "_Real_ important stuff."

The man on the other end of the phone muttered a curse into the receiver. "Fine, stay upstairs! See if we care! This only has to do with a girl who likes you! What say could you possibly have over her, right?"

"Hey, don't say stuff like that, man!" Chris said, but the man had already hung up. "Ugh, I can't win! Someone's got to be real here! They can't all actually like me! Someone –" A name came into Chris' mind and flashed in bright neon. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of her before? She wouldn't go and tell him that she liked him when he was deliberately breaking her Three C's! There was just _no_ way.

* * *

"But Chris, I _do_ like you." Charlie felt a bit taken aback by the way Chris flew into her room (a.k.a. the library). He had tried to act casual (make fun of her) and somehow just blurted out whether or not she liked him (more or less). But instead of asking, he made it sound more that he was confirming she thought he was a tool and that she couldn't possibly be here for him. When she defied him, he was quite confused.

"_Whaaa_t a _riii_ot!" Chris said eventually, drawing out his words. "So the dating fourteen other girls at once thing _doesn't_ bother you?"

Charlie was getting confused now. Where exactly was he taking this? "Of course it bothers me. When you genuinely like a person, I don't think you'd want to share with other people. Besides, I wouldn't say you're dating anyone. I haven't seen you for thirteen days… _and_ you slept on the plane ride back."

"Yeah, yeah… give me more beef about it… so I want you to just say it straight up, got me? Do you actually, like, like me?"

"_Yes_," she confirmed, suddenly finding the situation funny instead of annoying. "Do you want me to say I don't?"

"Well yeah, I wouldn't mind some honesty from someone."

Chris had been used to being told that he was hated, that he made lives miserable. It brought him such a joy for reasons that only a sadist could ever understand and empathize with. Even past relationships had been blamed on him for going sour and he never minded. If they were calling him out or yelling at him, they were being honest. When they said they liked him or thought he was sweet, they wanted something or didn't really know him – they were just yanking his chain.

His dark eyes fell onto her dark blue ones as she came next to him, taking his hands into her lap and smothering them between hers. "Now, don't take offense to this, but you haven't ever had a meaningful relationship, so I think your, for a lack of better terms, immature."

"Immature?" He always thought this was what seeing a psychiatrist was like, minus the physical contact.

"Right. I'd say you're at the level of maybe a preteen."

"I've done more than a preteen has –"

"I know that," she said, looking a bit disgusted with the imagery of Chris and other girls. "But as far as the emotional level, you're preteen. You're stuck in this denial. It's a hurdle you'll need to overcome if any relationship with any girl you meet is going to work." She relaxed her grip. "I think once you acknowledge that the girls here actually care about you and this is more than just another show, you'll start to care. And once you start to care, I think you'll be happier."

She felt she got somewhere with him. "This is it!" she told herself. This is his breaking point where they form a new bond and reach a new level! Chris didn't look as excited. "That," he said, taking his hands back, "was so not the answer I wanted." He got up and walked right out into the hall, shutting the door the way his had been shut.

"Someone looks anxious." Chris looked up at Lea, who was walking by without paying him much heed, probably heading out to her room. "I bet you're starting to come out of your denial phase."

"What is wrong with you people? And I'm _not_ in a denial phase! Next person to say that is so outta here!"

"Right, sure, that's nice." Not having much of anything to do, Chris followed after her. She assumed he wanted her to continue pushing the topic, so she went on. "You've been gone for thirteen days, you know. What have you been up to? Work?"

"Something along the line of work," he said.

Lea took a step closer and he was wondering if she was planning to cut him off and walk ahead of him, but he was wrong. She took her fingers around his and hung onto them loosely. "This must seem like work for you, too. Another reality show, another winner and loser, challenges you need to plan. It's not really fair to you, is it?"

Chris gawked at her. "That's _exactly_ what I've been thinking! And it's so weird, 'cause everyone here keeps saying they don't not like me and it's freakin' messed up."

"Chris," she stopped at the door in the kitchen, leading to a path to the pool house where she stayed in. "Not to be the bearer of unfortunate happenings and lead you down a path of unspeakable horrors, but I don't not like you as well."

"Hey, you two!" Lea and Chris looked over at Serenity as she whipped the sliding glass door open and came inside. Her eyes were locked on Chris and Lea's 'hand holding' of sorts. "I heard Chris was giving everyone one on one time."

"What kind of moron told you that?" She looked at him skeptically and he pulled back from Lea. "Hey, stop giving me a third degree! I was just talking because I happened upon her! Lea, tell her!"

Lea looked away from the spot far off in the distance out the window she was gazing at lamely. She smiled softly at Serenity, who looked ready for an answer. "Yes, I suppose my alone time is always getting cut short, but it happens. It can be your turn."

"You see? I'm – _whoa_, wait up, that didn't sound right!"Lea was already out of the house and walking to her room. Chris cursed his luck as Serenity smiled up at him. "So," she asked, "what's the game plan?"

"Game plan? I don't have one, dude. I didn't know I was giving everyone time until just now."

"Hmm, I'd leave you alone to think about how wrongly you're mistreated, but I have a bit of sadist in me too and I can't let you be too happy. Besides, I was called out last and obviously need to show you how much I like you and want to be here." Of course she confessed to him today, too. Apparently they didn't have a confessional today in this place because everyone kept coming to unload their thoughts on him. "So, how about you take a break? We'll watch a movie."

Chris sighed in defeat and started heading over to the theatre. "Which one?"

"I was thinking _Titanic_."

"_Huh, _you know I never actually sat through the whole thing. I always left after everyone got in the boat and always came back around the time the dude dies."

"Well today is your lucky day! I plan on seeing it all!"

"Oh," he said, cringing at the fresh excitement in her eyes. "Wicked."

* * *

Everyone was boarding the damned ship and Serenity had Chris glued to his seat. He was not going to get up and get snacks and miss a second of this love-packed flick. She was determined to make sure he saw it even it meant putting up with his growling stomach and complaints of, "So, when do they all crash and burn and stuff?"

"Shhh – they're leaving the port!"

They were both staring at the screen one second. The next second the screen had been smashed to the ground and there was a destroyed drum kit on top of it and a nice sized hole up above. Serenity's mouth fell open and Chris tilted his head slightly. They showed each other their confused faces, wondering if the other knew what just happened. Then they looked back at the mess and slowly angled their heads up in unison at the large, gaping hole in the ceiling.

After a few seconds of stumbling, Al was leaning down. She laughed nervously and gave them a slight wave. "Hey there, guys… I can totally explain this."

"Do you want to?" Serenity snarled. She wasn't the type of person who liked being interrupted, but cutting in and ruining a chance to see her favorite movie with the guy she liked? It had her on the edge.

Al noticed this and stopped laughing. "Right… well, you see… it's kinda a funny story, really… I'm in this band called Dance Dance Go back home and I play the drums… in the band I play them… and so I just got off the phone with another member and he asked me to try out a few beats and… I tried, but it sounded off… and I thought I heard ticking… and I went to go ask Chris what was wrong with it and it went… kaboom."

Chris stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You know, I think I put that there for a mission and forgot about it."

Serenity tossed her hands up in defeat. "Well what about the movie? That was the only copy I had."

"I got one in my movie collection in the other room." Serenity smiled and rocketed away to find this 'other room.' Chris rubbed the back of his head. "I never organized them, so she'll be there for a while."

Al seemed to be the only one bothered by the fact she wrecked two of Chris' rooms and his TV. "Chris, I'm sorry. I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

"Don't bother," Chris waved a hand at her and got up to stand under her. "I hate this room anyways, so I'll just rip down the ceiling and make one huge room with a strobe-light-thing on the ceiling. It'll be wicked cool."

"Sounds it," she said, not looking convinced. "Still, I feel awful for ripping the place apart. I bet you're not used to the girls who like you showing their affections by destroying your stuff."

Chris threw his hands up. "Wow, you too? That's it, I take it back. You _so_ owe me."

"Me too what? Wait, I OWE you now?" Al took her iPod out and turned it up. "I, uh, think I misheard you Chris. I'll just come down and talk to you later, alright?" She disappeared from sight, leaving Chris to look up at the ceiling of his third floor and second floor at the same time. "Whoa," he observed. "Trippy."

* * *

This was it: challenge time. After all the chaos that had occurred today, Chris had a lot of things to swarm his thoughts. Concentration seemed impossible at this point in time. After a third attempt of failing to come up with anything catchy to introduce his mission, he gave up and went to go complain about his crappy life in the Confessional.

He swung the door open, ready to spew to the world all the ways the world had mistreated him. It was too bad his seat was filled by a different dark haired beauty other than himself.

"You think you have problems?" Roxie pulled out her shirt and showed him how it had scribbled marker stains on it. He recognized the writing as Stormy's.

"Should I care?"

"No, I have more shirts. It's just the fact that I really don't enjoy having random people take notes on my shirt since they ran out of room on their page."

Chris shut the door and came over, not bothering to let her have any alone time. "Well, I have bigger problems."

Roxie's dark brows furrowed and she got and walked over to him, coming by his side in an instant. "You look genuinely upset. Do you want to talk about it?"

He hit her bright eyes with his dark ones. "People here… they like me."

"I would know, I'm one of those people." She pressed a hand to his back when he frowned deeper, hoping to calm him down enough to get to the bottom of this problem.

"It's kinda freaky," he said. "I don't know how used to it I am. I can't think about work. All these stupid confessions and lame moments and dumb stuff you all do keep popping up and it's messing with my head. I don't like it."

Roxie did her best to fight back a smile. "So you're upset that everyone likes you?" He nodded grumpily, like a child admitting to a fault. "Maybe the problem is you're starting to realize you like us back."

"I'm not a preteen," he muttered, still sounding like a kid.

She gave him a perplexed look. "I never said you were, Chris. I'm just saying that maybe what you're feeling isn't bad. It's different, but I think it'll be nothing but good if you stop trying to fight it. Just think about it, okay?" He looked back at her and sighed, not doing anything more to acknowledge her request. She finally let herself smile and she pecked him on the cheek, escorted him to the door, and locked him out to go tell the camera crew about the situation with Stormy writing on her clothes.

Chris walked through the halls, slumped forward and feeling like he was worn out and ready for his day to be over already. Every girl he had come across liked him. All said they wanted to be with him, to win this thing. But he couldn't like them all, could he?

He thought about it. He thought about each girl. He wasn't so sure what to think anymore, but maybe if he just tried to take their advice and consider the possibilities…

"Hey, Chris?" Chris stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He hadn't even noticed Tawni. She was sitting on the bottom steps with her face twisted in agony. He walked over and leaned down a bit to look at her swollen ankle. "I've been fine for a couple of days, but my ankle kills for some reason. I was wondering if you could go get me the wheelchair I've been on, please?"

Chris smirked. "Heck no."

Her eyes dropped to the floor. "Of course not. Then can you get someone else to get me it?"

He laughed then. "No can do either."

She leaned away on the heels of her palm, studying him from what she thought was a safe distance. Chris breaking out into random laughter cannot possibly be a good thing. "Fine, I'll just chill here for – whoa!"

Chris swept down and lifted her up. His arm supported her back and her knees were bent over his other arm so that she was sitting back. He leaned close and brushed his nose against hers. She stared up with her dark eyes glossy and shocked. "I guess you like me?" he asked. She nodded mutely, too at a loss of words to speak. He laughed again and took off for where he'd present the next challenge. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. "Join the club."

* * *

**So much to do, so little time. I hope no one was OC (I rushed a bit). I think I had to address the fact that no one disliked Chris at this point (besides Leila). He always liked to be told how evil he was, it was high-time he addressed how loved he was. It was a challenge. But man, do I feel bad for waking Chris up, I'm dead tired! I've been listening to mushy songs to keep me awake and give me inspiration XP Anyways, thanks for everyone's patience and jazz, it's been wonderful. Next chapter will – gasp – be a challenge, but a break is nice every so often, right? If your oc wasn't in it as much as you like, I'm sorry, I tried my best to be fair, but it's no easy feat, believe you me.**

**Thanks: reviewers, readers, alerters, favoriters, and the pub room crew but of course.**

**Special Thanks: HowlingWulf, Long Lost Twin, and Santi48 (reminding me why the heck I do this lol)**


	15. The Maclean Bunch Pt I

**The Challenges of Love**

**15. The Maclean Bunch Pt. I**

* * *

**So my play is over (it went well, but it was the reason behind the lack of updates and getting back to people. I've been BUSY beyond belief). This was just long overdue. But I have three more situations: prom (tomorrow), my b-day is the fourth (a.k.a. Monday lol) so I need to plan a party-thing because God forbid I don't have one…, and I'm going to NYU with two good buddies on the 22. Busy, busy, busy.**

**But other than that, I think I should get back on schedule after this weekend ^^**

**I have no possession or ownership or anything else illegal over anything that has any relation to Total Drama such as but not limited to the characters, settings, and quirks. I also do not have any claim on the lovely ladies – they're all borne from their creative creator's creativity.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre_

_-Ladies Left: 15_

* * *

"… Did _any of you_ hear the words coming out of my mouth? Or was I talking to myself just now?"

Usually when people are ignored, they get scornful. They're nasty. The rage is rightfully theirs; after all, they were neglected when they gave up moments of their life to enlighten the supposed listeners. So, to any onlooker just entering the scene, it was strange that Chris Maclean was the furthest thing from sounding or looking ticked off, bummed out, or put off. The fact that none of the contestants had listened to the difficult challenge he had just burdened their lives with made him realize something: all these girls _really_ liked him… and they got jealous quick, the temptresses.

Chris had called all the girls to the bottom of the front staircase, which was his more favored challenge-initiating spot. It had not taken more than a few minutes to get everyone assembled and it took seconds for the negative mood to set in. Only Chris was smiling by the end of his little speech.

The reason these girls were upset and the resident sadist was smiling like he owned the world? Well, it may have something to do with the fact he still had Tawni in his arms. Held bridal style, her ankle slowly coming to its senses – it didn't matter to him. He wouldn't put her down. The looks they got, it was a bit thrilling – perhaps he may have a kick of masochism in him.

Tawni wasn't too appreciative. She was getting plenty of glares. Even her friends in the house looked less-than-pleased about her situation. She wasn't about to turn her face on them and hide in his shirt like she wanted to, but she could dream. Still, she felt liked she fit in his arms. She wasn't about to ask to be let down, either.

**Shelly: **_**"I wasn't mad at Tawni at all. We're friends, and I'm not going to let a competition make me a mean jerk. I know she likes Chris as much as I do. But that's also a total drag, y'know? I mean, what if it comes down to us? I don't know. This whole thing is pretty intense."**_

**Al: **_**Screaming noises are breaking through her headphones. She is stiffly staring at the camera. Her eyes are severe and her lips are drawn down. "I wish," she whispers, sounding a bit on edge. "I wish he wasn't such a womanizer. And I really wish he wouldn't flaunt it." **_

**Roxie: **_**"I don't feel as secure as I used to," she admits, wringing her hands. "I'm starting to feel like Chris has put me on the backburner. I haven't been called first up for a while… I… what am I going to do?"**_

"Chris?" Katroina asked, looking uneasy herself. "I missed that, can you repeat it?"

"What?" he gasped in mock incredulousness. "Don't tell me none of you _really_ weren't listening?" He tsked as everyone stilled. "Well, this is a shocker. Not a one heard what I had to say?" He smirked and looked around and he paused on two girls who he noticed were seemingly indifferent. "Leila?" She just shrugged. She was looking at herself in a mirror. He couldn't blame her – he had mirrors everywhere for the purpose that good-looking people would enjoy their nice qualities. He couldn't rag on her if she was one of the few who appreciated his mirrors in his front hall.

The other he wasn't sure how to feel about. "Lea?" The brunette was staring up at… _something_. She just did a little head nod to acknowledge him, no more.

"For shame, chickies. You never fail to disappoint. But, because I'm so pumped to see the facial expressions, I'll tell you all the mission again!" he chirped happily. "Now pay attention, got it? I don't repeat things, so this is the last time I'll say it!"

**Katroina: **_**She shakes her head in exasperation. "He doesn't repeat things, but he's repeating this…?"**_

**Leila: **_**"What a moron! It's like that one time when we had to do a photo shoot together and he… uh… I don't have a story to go with this moment… ef my life."**_

"They'll be five teams, three people per team." Serenity raised a hand. "Yeeees?"

"Can we pick our own teams?"

"Hmmm… let me think about it… thinking… thinking… getting distracted… back on topic… thinking… thinking… and my answer is nooo!" He smirked. "Hehe, now, where was I…? Oh right, the part where you guys all get reasons to complain to the confessional! This mission is ingeniously dubbed Life Swap and – !"

"Life Swap?" Dawn repeated, looking unimpressed.

"Lame, CC," Krissy yawned.

"Yeah anyways," Maddie complained. "It sounds like _Wife Swap_. Chris, can't you get sued for that?"

"Sheesh, killjoys! Lemme get to the good part! Now, five of you are going to going to switch places with three parental units who offered to pay for all our advertising if I sent them an autographed picture. Sweet ladies, huh?"

"So wait up." Krissy looked freaked out. "I'm going to have to, like, be a single mom? With two wives? And these freaks are my only options? Ewwwwe!"

"Ah, KK, ever observant! That's just what you're doing! Now, times-a-wasting, so you all go out to the limo and go get dropped off at your destinations. You'll all have a list of chores, kid crap, and all that good stuff. Whoever gets the most done and has the most rave reviews from the family gets to win!"

Everyone stared blankly at Chris. "What?"

"Win what?" Lauren wondered for everyone. "What is it we win, exactly?"

Chris was now blank faced. "You know, I didn't think that far ahead. How about a date?"

"Another group date?" Lena said sadly.

"What, that's a bad idea? Fine, then how about… um, a sleepover in my room…?"

"WHAT?!"

"Chill babe," Chris said, looking at Charlie's red face. "You can bring a sleeping bag. Or a tent. Whatever. What a dirty mind she has… Now, why are you all still here? Get going! I don't want to waste gas."

Everyone was still staring at him blank faced. "What _now_?"

Maddie crossed her arms. "Is Tawni going to compete or what?"

Chris laughed. "Oh, right, of course she is!" Everyone looked relieved. "After I take her to her limo!"

Chris Maclean stifled a grin as glares stalked him and his damsel out of the mansion. Yes, he definitely had some masochism in him. Otherwise he wouldn't enjoy this so damn much.

* * *

The girls were expecting to end up in a lavishly well kept neighborhood with houses that were somewhat as large as Chris' mansion. They were quite shocked to find normal, middle-class homes. In front of each home was a sign with a team number and the members on that team.

The high school-aged driver pulled up to the first house with a sign. He whipped out a small card and squinted his beady eyes at the small, loopy handwriting. "House One is… Harvard, KK, and Small Town, Lena, and Lauren." The driver scrunched his entire face up. "Some of you guys got some real weird ass names."

**Leila: **_**"Why don't I have a fun nickname? I should. I mean, I have tons: sexy, gorgeous, hottie, hot stuff –"**_

**Charlie: **_**"A nickname wouldn't be so bad, but I'd rather be called my name than anything degrading like –"**_

**Leila: **_**" – cutie, tiger, lion, vixen, minx, sugar lips –"**_

Katroina, Krissy, and Dawn rolled their eyes and stepped out of the limo after Lena and Lauren. The driver sped forward and stopped suddenly, sending all the girls catapulting forward into each other. He didn't seem to notice their discomfort… or the mailbox he ran down. The driver pointed to a seatbelt warning as he read the next card aloud. "House Two is Maddie, Leila, Al, Charlie… and, um, I dunno."

"How can you not know?" Maddie asked, wanting nothing more than to get out of the stifling heat of the limo. "It's written on the card."

"I know that, doll face, but he wrote 'insert that girl here' and I'm confused! What the hell kinda pet name is _that_?"

"Oh, I apologize for Chris' ignorance to your unawareness." Lea walked forward and opened the door. "That was directed to me."

"Whoa, so you don't have a _name_?" the driver blurted in wonder.

Lea shrugged, her eyes half-lidded. "Sometimes, I guess I don't."

The driver rubbed the back of his neck out of awkwardness. She seemed utterly content with being nameless. Was it some sort of inside joke or something? He just didn't get some people, the poor teenager.

Teen driver was ready to slam down on the gas pedal when Serenity leapt up and grabbed his shoulder, jerking him back. "Whoa there, Speed Racer, we're getting off here."

"But you don't even know who's in House Five with you!" the teen argued.

Serenity looked back at Stormy, Shelly, Tawni, and Roxie who were already sneaking out of the car to make it to stable land in one piece. "I think I have a feeling who I'm with. Thanks for the ride, but seriously – don't drink and drive ever again." She stepped out and shut the door, running to catch up to her teammates.

The teenager started the car back up again, feeling more confused than ever. "Why would she think I was drinking….?" He shrugged it off and backed out into a light pole in a house across the street, sending in plummeting through a pedestrian's roof. He looked back and made a sour expression, but ultimately decided it wasn't his problem and sped off back to the highway.

**Tawni: **_**"Whoever gave that kid his license needs to quit. Now." **_

**Leila: **_**" – muffin, hot lips, baby girl… and I think that's it."**_

* * *

_HOUSE ONE: Dawn, Katroina, Krissy, Lauren, Lena_

Katroina picked up a piece of paper under the key on a small end table beside the door. She sighed and held it up to her teammates. "Found the chores… and it seems we have some facts on the kinds and stuff, too."

"Read," Krissy demanded, crossing her arms to look more assertive. She noticed Dawn wiping something off her glasses and she frowned. She snatched the chore list from Katroina and smacked it into Dawn's stomach. "No, you read."

Dawn scoffed and slid her glasses back into place. "I thought Katroina was going to read it?"

"Yeah, well she doesn't have glasses. You do. This makes you, like, our official reader."

"Kristen, that's completely ridiculous."

"Yeah? Well if _you_ didn't want the job, _you_ shouldn't have fucked up your eyes. Now, read!"

**Dawn: **_**"Why do I always end up in her team…?"**_

**Katroina: **_**"Maybe I should be trying to fix up Krissy. She's vulgar and nasty. This seems like a perfect chance to make her a better person!"**_

Dawn gave in and took the crisp paper in her hands, trying to not take her annoyance out on her grip. "Okay, well before our huge list of chores it says that we're watching a baby."

Lena suddenly panicked. "Wait, is the baby alone in the house?" The girls froze and bustled to the door, banging on it while shouting out things to soothe the lonely baby on the other side. Katroina stuck the key in the lock and gave it a good twist. The girls all fell forward on hard oak floor. They felt dazed as they all struggled to look around the doorway for the baby.

Well, they found one baby right away in a carrier by the door.

Along with two identical siblings in matching carriers on either side of it.

"I thought the paper said baby!" Krissy yelled into Lauren's ear, causing the girl to wince.

"It did!"

**Chris: **_**"Did it say baby? Really?... Hmm, typo. But what an excellent one!"**_

* * *

_HOUSE TWO: Al, Charlie, Lea, Leila, Maddie_

"This list is pretty ridic," Maddie groaned. "I mean, check this out: we need to floss the toothbrushes. I didn't even know people _did_ that."

"They probably don't…" Al peeked a look at the list of horrors and groaned as well. "Did you see chore number two-eighty-seven? 'Repaint a room of your choice with _nail polish_ and don't forget to add a floral border along the baseboards.' These aren't chores normal people do."

"Maybe these people _aren't_ normal…" Everyone gave Maddie a flat look. She took a step back defensively crossing her arms. "What? It's a possibility, people! Don't tell me you haven't thought of it."

The list made its way through everyone's hands and was scanned by every pair of eyes on the front porch. The 'chores' were rather ridiculous, but there was no use complaining about it. It's not as if any good would come of it.

The door became the focus once the words on the pages started to slip together into a blur. "So," Leila asked. "What now? Usually this is the part where someone let's me in."

"I don't know… should we knock? Or maybe ring the doorbell?" Al looked around for answers.

"It's custom to ring the doorbell if we're strangers and to knock if we're neighbors," Lea told her, as if it was a nursery rhyme or something. Truth be told, to her it probably was. She stepped up and knocked, deciding what to do for herself. The girls all stepped forward, waiting to see who would answer the door.

… And waiting…

… And waiting…

… And more waiting…

… And – "Lea, try the door bell-" The door swung open on cue and a thick, glittery powder was thrown in a dense blanket out the front door, coating the five girls' faces. At first everyone seemed to be dumbfounded. After blinking a few times, they looked in the doorway to see darkly dressed boy with thick eyeliner and a black star tattoo on his cheek.

Maddie was quick to recover. She wiped the sooty grime from her face and extended a hand out. "Hi, I'm Maddie. These are my friends Lea –" Lea waved slightly, using her other hand to wipe her eyes clean, " – Leila – " Leila wasn't moving, but tears were clumping in her thick mascara and there was a glint of closet-serial-killer in her frozen eyes, " – Al – " Al was trying to clean her earphones but gave a little nod nevertheless, " – and Charlie." Charlie hadn't seemed the all that offended and offered a sweet salutation as she rubbed the powder off her face.

The boy of darkness blinked. He looked at the hand, then back up at Lena's smiling, sunshine face that would make a crying baby giggle it was just that joyous. Too bad Depressing Boy wasn't a baby. "Oh, suffocate yourself dry you conformist female," Depressing Boy said in a dark drawl, looking bored with the new guests already.

Maddie didn't seem to hear him. "So, are you an only child or what?"

"Don't make small talk!" Leila's sadness mutated into a violent fury – a side she had been hiding from the girls since day one. But playtime was over. This boy – made her _dirty_. And definitely not the kind of dirty she liked, either. "He threw glitter-powder at us for no reason!"

"What's wrong with it?" Maddie asked, looking at the sparkles on her arm with a grin. "I think it's kinda cool!"

"It makes us look like freaks!"

Depressing Boy scowled. "This world is _such_ a judgmental place. So _blis_tering and scornful in its resentment for the people that plague it's _sur_face. Then it catches like a moth's burning wing to the flame and con_sumes _the people's souls and darken them to a deep shade of endless black. The color… of the _abyss_. And people burn and burn in it, letting what's left of them turn into smoldering ashes that dampen their insides and weigh them down. It weighs down against their_ filthy_ lungs so they can't _breathe_ and they can't say _any_thing but _heart_less things. Freak is a derogatory term that only these heartless whores that sway on lonely street corners and failing men who walk to them believe in… typical _conformists_."

Wide eyes were unblinking at Depressing Boy. Chris definitely hit a new low with this sadistic act. Bringing children into his torture methods? How sick… how twisted… how genius. It was working well.

* * *

_HOUSE THREE: Roxie, Serenity, Shelly, Stormy, Tawni_

It was luck. Pure, sheer luck. Surely Chris had meant for them to end up in worse conditions than this? He wasn't the type to make things this easy at any rate. At least, that's what the third group had been led to believe. When it came to missions, Chris tried to make things as complicated and unpleasant as possible – it was a proven fact.

But for some unfathomable reason that no one could help questioning, that wasn't the case this time. This time – this challenge – appeared to be something that would be enjoyable if anything.

The reason behind this was thanks to the sweet, blessed little children.

"Why hello there, ma'ams!" An adorable little girl said. She was cute as can be with her thick blonde hair in pigtails and her eyes bright and wide. She was the poster child for every wannabe parent. "Please, come in, won't you?"

She let out an outrageous giggle and skipped forward into the kitchen. There at the table an equally adorable older brother was pouring what smelled like tea into china cups. "Hey there, ladies! Welcome to our home!" The little mister walked up and shook each hand attached to an unfamiliar face. "My name is Kevin and that's my younger sister, Mary."

She giggled again… for as cute as she was her laugh sounded rather disturbing.

"Awe, what cute kids!" Serenity smiled and gave the girls a thumbs up. "I wonder if the other's lucked out as well as we did!"

"Who knows," Shelly said. "But we still have a bunch of chores to do."

"We'll help," Kevin volunteered. "You girls shouldn't have to do all the work."

Starry eyed, the girls nodded. Forget caring about Chris' motives – for helping them out, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

* * *

_HOUSE ONE: Dawn, Katroina, Krissy, Lauren, Lena_

"Lena, you're so good with him!" Lauren had taken a breather after successfully scrubbing down all the doorknobs so that they sparkled. It was coincidence that her last room would be the babies' room, where Lena was rocking her assigned baby.

The environmentalist did seem to be a natural mother. She was cuddling her nose against the baby's nose, fluttering her lashes against his chubby flushed cheek, blowing on his stomach. She was smothering the child with love, and the child was giggly and flailing around in ecstasy. It was clear to see that she wasn't minding her end of the task.

After registering Lauren's compliment, Lena smiled and cradled the baby lower to look over at her friend. "I really like kids, and this little guy is such a _sweetheart_," she laughed. "You'll get all the ladies one day," she cooed to him. His lips puffed out and he eyes went wide as he struggled to translate what she told him for himself.

"But you know," Lauren said, "I think we need to give him a name. Why not just blue since that's the color he's wearing?"

"Oh, hey! That's not a bad idea! What do you think, Blue?" Blue looked up into Lena's bright eyes and parted his meaty lips to show his display his baby teeth in a sweet smile. He nodded and snuggled her neck to show his joy.

**Lena: **_**"These parents are so lucky to have such healthy, good babies! And so smart – Blue keeps looking at me like he knows what I'm saying! I wonder why the parents would leave them – I never could if they were mine."**_

Unfortunately, things weren't going as well downstairs.

Dawn was left doing laundry (Chris 'kindly' installed a new and complex washing and drying machine and specifically asked for his 'tech-savvy girl' to do this chore, the bastard). Once she figured everything out (sort of) she had gathered all the dirty clothes and towels and hadn't left the basement until everything was fluffy, warm, and most importantly dry. She came up the steps into the kitchen and set the laundry basket on the counter. She had reached in, ready to start folding to put things in piles to be put away, when an awful sight stopped her dead in her routine.

A tubby baby in a frilly purple dress was drawing on the wall with blood red lipstick, dark staining mascara, and other brightly colored makeup materials that took three washes to get out.

Oh _hell_ no.

"Isn't _Krissy_ supposed to be watching you?" Dawn frowned down at the 'artistic' triplet, who puckered up their fat lips and planted a big one on her masterpiece. It was abstract enough to make Pollock look like he was a nobody.

Sure enough, the self-assigned queen of the house came into the room and went right to the fridge, taking out a diet soda. After taking a small sip, she noticed Dawn glaring at her laboriously, her glasses hanging from the bridge of her nose menacingly.

Krissy waited for her to say something. When she didn't, she sighed and set her can down, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. It looked like she was a teen getting confronted by her scrutinizing mother, strange since Krissy was older by three years. "What's got your panties shoved up your ass?"

Dawn pointed over to Picaso, who had started to master decorating the floor tiles with a mousy pink blush. Krissy's eyes followed the direction. "Oh, so that's where the little bitch went off to!"

Dawn pushed her glasses up slowly, digesting the words she just heard. "_Come again_?"

"Oh, you know how it is," Krissy said brusquely, still looking at the baby in disgust. "Two minutes with those things and they start to smell bad and, like, I don't want the smell to rub off on me! Besides, my favorite show is on. So I set Shit-in-Pants down, hoping the smell would lighten up, and on commercial break I looked over and she was gone. Fast worker."

Dawn didn't know what was more disturbing: Krissy referring to a baby as 'shit-in-pants' and 'little bitch' or the fact she set said baby down because she didn't want it's bad smell to rub of f on her. It was all quite troubling information. She hoped child-services weren't watching this.

"Krissy, she's a baby, okay?" Dawn rolled her eyes and walked over to the baby in purple. "She can't be ignored. She needs constant supervision and attention. She's not a puppy!"

Dawn bent down to take the lipstick from the baby. The baby felt weary and turned it's round self over to look up at Dawn, who was sitting down and slowly reaching for the makeup. "Picasso, can you please give that to me and then I'll watch you?"

Picasso looked from her lipstick to Dawn back to her lipstick. She smiled wickedly. "Bitch!"

Dawn's face fell and her glasses slipped down. "Wha- oh, no! Oh no no no no no no – KRISSY, LOOK WHAT YOU TAUGHT THE BABY YOU IGNORAMUS!"

Krissy, however, seemed pleased more than anything. Her face lit up and she lost interest in her soda and rushed forward to the baby. "Awe, don't yell in front of the baby! She shouldn't be hearing stuff like that!" Dawn couldn't believe it – Krissy was teaching _her_ baby etiquette? "C'mon, Picassa, let's go watch some VH1!"

"Wait a second – Picassa?!"

"Yeah, because Picasso is manly. Right, Picassa?" The baby drew on Krissy's face and the brunette frowned. "No, you dumb whore, lipstick goes on my _lips_."

As Krissy walked into the living room trying to instruct the infant on makeup application, Dawn suddenly felt very, very hopeless.

"What's going on in here?" Dawn looked to the door that led to an office. She was holding the other baby in one arm and a hefty book called _Political Studies_ in the other. She looked at the mess and cringed. "That doesn't look like fun to clean up…" She looked at the baby and book and coughed. "Ummm… I have to go do something in the other room… good luck with this."

Oh yes, Dawn thought bitterly as she was left alone with crinkling laundry and a monster of a mess. There was no hope.

* * *

_HOUSE TWO: Al, Charlie, Lea, Leila, Maddie_

"Let's see how we can divvy up these chores." All attention was on Charlie as she looked over the list with a keen eye, hunting down who could tackle what the most efficiently. "Alright well there's a lot of jobs here that involve keeping our resident emotionally unstable teenager in check ranging from keeping visitors out of the house to making sure he doesn't leave to making sure he doesn't get a hold of glue guns… I wish they would explain that one… it might be good to know why, I think."

"Why don't you do it?" Leila suggested in a sickly sweet voice, hoping to get her façade back into everyone's good graces and under their radar.

**Maddie: **_**"There's something up with Leila. I don't know if she's just mad about her outfit being 'ruined' when she's a model or what, but she went into flipped-out Krissy mode for a second. I was getting déjà vu real bad."**_

**Lea: **_**"I've had my suspicions about the way she conducts herself. I suppose she may be phony, though I don't particularly care enough to call her out on her act. What she does has no bearing on me or the other girls. As far as I can see, Chris doesn't like her that much anyways, so it's not as if anyone is truly competing against her to stay."**_

**Leila: **_**"I'm the only competition these girls have – they better remember it!"**_

"I don't think I could connect with him," Charlie admitted. "I could try, but I usually can only help those who want it. If I go in there wanting to solve problems and build friendships, he'll feel smothered and will resent me and push me away. Besides, I think it'd be best to give him someone who can talk to him and connect with him naturally." Maddie slowly started to raise her hand. "Sorry, Maddie, but I think you're too happy and, let's face it, cool for him." Maddie considered this and nodded, letting her hand come back down. "Any other takers?"

"Why not Lea?" Leila suggested again. She knew no one would vote her in since she was a supermodel and this kid seemed like the kind who hated her type of workers, so she volunteered everyone else.

Lea shrugged. "I think she'll need backup," Maddie told the group. "No offense, but she doesn't seem like she'd go and do all she can to stop him from doing something. She's took lax."

"No offense taken," Lea said lightly. "I never claimed to be a proactive person when it came to dictating other people's lives."

"Well then… Al? Can you go with her? Maybe you and him will have music or something in common. You seem like you could relate to anyone."

**Al: **_**"I don't like it when everyone assumes you'll be good at something. What if I suck, then what? Then I feel like the loser. It's pressuring!"**_

"No prob."

"Alright, then it's settled!" Maddie said beaming, pushing the pair to the steps. "Go get acquainted with your new project! And maybe find out his name while you're at it."

A door was heard smacking open and stomps reverberated through the halls. Depressing Boy came over and loomed at the top of the staircase, his eyes narrowed and cold. "My name is _Donovan_," he said in his low, brooding voice. He turned away and stalked back off to his room, slamming his door.

Everyone awkwardly looked at each other. "Right…" Maddie said, breaking the spell. "So have fun with… Donovan… yeah…"

* * *

_HOUSE THREE: Roxie, Serenity, Shelly, Stormy, Tawni_

It was nice to have such angelic children help out with all the ludicrous and unbelievable 'chores' they were given. Whoever raised these children needed to write their secrets into a book and mass produce it. And maybe a shiny trophy or two.

"Kevin, why don't you take a break? You've become a vacuuming fiend."

Kevin looked up at Roxie and shrugged. "I don't mind, Ms. Roxie."

"Oh, Roxie's fine. C'mon, take a break and have fun! Here, I'll show you how to dance so you can impress the ladies." She winked and he smiled wide. "Gee," he said, "that'd be just super of you!"

Roxie led him out to the middle of the living room and turned on a music channel and started showing Kevin fun ways to warm up and stretch. Serenity came walking through, going to return cleaning supplies to a closet, and smiled. "I'll get you two a snack together," she said.

**Serenity: **_**"Everyone knows a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Just look at Chris and his obsession with everything that has over a million calories! I plan on keeping these kids well fed and happy to win this thing."**_

She walked into the kitchen and found Stormy writing with a twisted grin – the kind of grin a reporter got when they found a good scoop. Uh-oh. "Uh, Stormy, what's got you all smiles?"

The red head cackled and nodded outside to a sulking Tawni, who was sitting a bit away from Shelly and Mary. Apparently Mary had taken to the ostentatious girl, and was currently learning some showy cheer moves and practicing as if she had a big competition to practice for.

"Wow, she's not too bad at that," Serenity commented. "So what's got Tawni in the dumps, then?"

Stormy paused and grimaced. "Tawni wanted to play with Mary, to get us points you know. But she ruined her chances with a good relationship as soon as she showed Mary a football. Something tells me that Mary is a girly girl with an affinity to navigate away from tomboys. Call it a hunch."

* * *

**Finally… done. Phew. Once again, please don't be too ticked it took so long and I was basically on a mini-hiatus. Life has been getting more and more in the way of my writing time and it's darn persistent. And I don't like splitting chapters into parts, but if I didn't it would take longer to get them out, so overlook it as best as you can, please :). Next chapter is a bit more intense if you will and the elimination! Dun. dun, DUUUN!**

**Thanks: reviewers, concerned reading audience members, everyone who faved/alerted/sent me cake/a possible combination of the above **

**Special Thanks: my man whore :), Logicaltiger (I like my Nizzy so far and really can't wait to post! Thanks AGAIN for that awesome inspiration), HowlingWulf (the advisor of pain), and Blond with a Brain (I assure you, I'm alright lol)**

**And congratulations to** **NaitomeaKatze for graduating. Props to you!!!**

**Now watch out for that darned flu kiddos. **


	16. The Maclean Bunch Pt II

**The Challenges of Love**

**16. The Maclean Bunch Pt. II (Who's Here for Who?)**

* * *

**I realized cute nicknames in real life are hard to come up with. My man candy has dubbed me his 'Winter' for mushy, poetic reasons I swoon and sigh over like a moron. My nickname for him? Man Whore… I don't think he likes it… I wish his name began a 'C.' Life would be so much easier.**

**No aspects of Total Drama Series (including but certainly not limited to characters, food items, fan girls/gents, quirks, et cetra) are not property of myself and they deserve credit where credit is due. The exhilarating cast of ladies are also not of my ownership and belong to the wonderful author's who took the time to make wicked awesome profiles. Everything else? Property of yours truly. Remember that, kiddos.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre_

_-Ladies Left: 15_

* * *

_HOUSE ONE: Dawn, Lauren, Lena, Katroina, Krissy_

"… And _this_ man here is Stephan Harper. He's the current Prime Minister of Canada. He's from Toronto and affiliates himself with the Conservative Party."

Curious eyes stared up at the knowledge-savvy Harvard student. The eyes, set in a sleepy baby's face, had been staring blankly at a large book in front of her. The lines had curled together and swirled into a worthless mess not worth looking at. It was Rorschach gone wrong as far as the young life was concerned. But her caretaker, Katroina, had seemed so into it she had no choice but to try and translate the miniscule print and words she was hearing. So far, not much luck.

"Now, Haley, don't look at me like that," Katroina promptly said to the baby. "This is _your_ country. You should know this while you're young. You'll be grateful later in life, I'm sure." Katroina bopped the baby to her other leg and flipped a page in the book on politics, which seemed more like an entire encyclopedia set jammed together.

The baby tilted her head, and Katroina felt smitten. It was such a Chris move, that she knew it meant confusion on the baby's part. "Are you confused about being called Haley?" The baby's blank face stayed. "Well, I thought you should be called _something_. Your siblings have names, so I gave you an actual one. You're named after Haley Wickenheiser." The baby's eyes went wider and Katroina shook her head and tsked. "You don't know who she _is_? You should. She was the first woman to accept a contract to play on a men's hockey team, you know."

Katroina's eyes caught fire. "I'm sure you don't know much about hockey, do you? I wonder if your parents have any books on the subject… we can take a break from this and go to that. Doesn't that sound like _fun_?"

Haley puffed her lower lip out. She wondered how she went from being read _Amelia Bedelia _books to big books with no pictures…. Seriously, who would want to read something without pictures?!

* * *

_HOUSE TWO: Al, Charlie, Lea, Leila, Maddie_

The olive toned tiles in the kitchen were being scrubbed down by a sponge and lemon-scented disinfectant. Maddie had put all the power she could muster into every vicious stroke, hoping to make the floor sparkle. Donovan seemed to like sparkly things, so maybe a glimmering floor would win them points with him. It was worth a shot.

Charlie came into the room and carefully tiptoed on the floor over to a chair at the table, were she gracefully fell back to. She flicked off her gloves and set them down. Her posture was stiff and her face was firm.

"What's eating at you?"

"Leila said she was going to go get grocery's on the chore list," Charlie answered simply.

"Cool. So what?"

"She left an hour ago."

"Could be busy traffic or something," Maddie shrugged, pausing her work for a minute.

"I thought maybe that, but then I checked the list."

"Lemme guess – we don't need to go grocery shopping?" Charlie nodded, looking grim. Maddie slapped her sponge into her bucket and cringed as tainted water slapped back up at her. "Dammit. What did she do that for?"

Charlie sighed. "I'm not too sure, but it does bother me. I really wasn't expecting it. But, it's okay!" She smiled over at a defeated looking Maddie. "We're almost through the chores already, aren't we? We even got the dumb stuff out of the way. We can get it done without her, I think."

Maddie reached up and crawled into a seat across the columnist, smiling along with her wearily. "True that. We don't need her dragging us down. 'Sides, she'd probably do everything half-ass anyway since she left like she did, y'know?"

"Yeah," Charlie agreed. She was ready to say something when she did a double-take out the window.

Maddie arched a blonde brow up. "What's with the weird expression?" The party girl followed her sight out to the backyard and her jaw fell agape as well. "Oh shit, man. Am I seriously seeing what I think I'm seeing?" A few shifty looking teenage boys and girls were cutting across the back yard, sneaking over to the side of the house… right under where Donovan's window was.

Maddie leapt up, clasped her hand around Charlie's wrist, and pulled her through the hall. "Where are we going? We need to deal with the kids sneaking over to the house!" Charlie called out.

"We will, I know where they're going. You're talking to the girl who invented successful methods to sneaking in and out of the house to hang with friends."

"You don't mean – but how could they sneak up to Donovan's room? Al _and_ Lea are in there with him!"

**Maddie: **_**She rolled her eyes. "Is this girl trustful or what? I thought her more than anyone would know to be suspicious of people."**_

The pair made it upstairs and Maddie pounded her fist against the door to Donovan's room. After a few seconds, some Donovan-clone with longer, grosser hair and sloppy eyeliner opened the door. They stared at Maddie and Charlie in teenage-disgust. "Is there something you wanted?"

Charlie peeked in to scan their ward's room. It was a decision she quickly regretted. A few teens in his clique were lounging around under angry band posters and laughing at something on the screen of his computer. Al, Donovan, and Lea were nowhere in sight. "Where are the people who are supposed to be here? And why are there people in this room who _aren't_ supposed to be here?"

"Take it easy _Mom_," the person at the door said. "We come here to chill sometimes. We don't know where Donovan and the other two hotties bounced off to. Just chill, they'll come back eventually."

Charlie shook her head. "This is insane. We need to go out and find out were Donovan went and what our team members were thinking when they tagged along." She looked to the people and opened the door wide, pointing down the hall. "Everyone, we're leaving, so please leave too."

The teens gave them confused looks.

Maddie cleared her throat. "I'll handle this, I speak angsty teen." She turned to the kids. "Hey, the cops are on their way."

"COPS?!" A few teens grabbed suspicious looking bags out of nowhere and hustled out of the house.

**Charlie: **_**"I'm glad if I had to be stuck with any of the girls that I'm with Maddie. Though I really hope my kids don't end up like her."**_

**Maddie: **_**"Years on the party scene and I know what it takes to fill and clear a room. It's a talent I have."**_

_**

* * *

**_

_HOUSE THREE: Roxie, Serenity, Shelly, Stormy, Tawni_

The chore list was complete. Everything – from cleaning floors to scrubbing the toilets with a Q-tip) was checked off. The girls were a good team no doubt, but things would not have gotten done so efficiently and quickly if it weren't for the help they had. The great workers on their side were the kids themselves. That's right, those young souls helped out the best they could and even played a bit with the girls and showed them their sweet sides.

Roxie and Kevin were fast friends. As soon as cleaning was over, Kevin rushed over to the dancer's side and begged her to show him some more ballroom moves. The other girls he was kind and polite to, but it was Roxie who raced to her side whenever possible.

"They really are cute together," Serenity commented, taking a long sip from her drink. Not having anything left to do, she took to sitting outside on the patio furniture next to Stormy and enjoying the sunlight. She wanted to take out a copy of a manga she brought along, but something told her the violence in her graphic novel would scar the innocent children and ruin their chances at winning. "So is Shelly and Mary."

Just as her brother found a favorite, Mary followed Shelly around like a devoted follower. The cheerleader overlooked the little girls creepy laugh and showed her some cheer moves, which the girly girl seemed to really enjoy.

**Shelly: **_**"I don't mind playing with Mary, but it makes me miss my brothers and my friends – mostly guys – back home so much more. They knew how to rough me up and make everything fun. Love and miss you guys!"**_

Stormy nodded, making notes on how sweet her drink was. Even the negative writer was enjoying their team's success.

"Still," Serenity said. "I have this nagging feeling. I still don't know who it was that got rid of Bell."

"Not this again," Stormy complained.

"Shut up and think about it: that selfish creep is only here for TV time and they're going to keep targeting people until they're the last one standing. Doesn't that bother you that someone wants to kick us off one-by-one and break Chris' heart?"

**Stormy: **_**"Chris has a heart…? Chris cares about us…? Has this girl talked to the same Chris I have?"**_

"Chris can fend for himself," Stormy decided. "Now stop talking to me and let me write in peace."

Serenity shut her mouth. Everything was quiet... then… "So you aren't bothered that there's a phony jerk in the house…?"

"Ah, to hell with it!" Stormy snapped her book shut and stalked to the house. "I'm going to find a nice cupboard to write in. Don't follow me."

Serenity suddenly felt lonely and she hunched over in her seat in dismay. "I wish there were three kids," she muttered to herself. She scanned the kids playing with their picks and noticed, off by herself, was Tawni. She looked anything but happy with things. Serenity hadn't been there, but Roxie told her that Mary thought Tawni was a boy because "only boys played football and lacrosse" after the tomboy brought out some athletic gear from the garage to play her with. The brunette, feeling dejected and ticked off, went to go sulk by herself and cradle a lacrosse ball away from the young girl.

If only Mary noticed the way Shelly was looking hopefully at the unused lacrosse stick and lonely football, she might not like her as much.

**Serenity: **_**"I felt bad, but then something clicked! Tawni was injured and stuff and got extra attention from Chris. Weird, right? So it got me to thinking that maybe she's the one who's playing games here! She's the cheat! And if she is, I think I better confront her and let her know that if she's not here for Chris, it's game over for her."**_

**Tawni: **_**"I HATE girly girls. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I was just trying to save this kid from going down the wrong path of life and growing up to be just like Krissy but noooo. Her dream is to be a bitch. And so far, so good. I'd tell her off, but I want to win the challenge. The little punk is lucky."**_

**Shelly: **_**"Man, I really wanted to play lacrosse… I never did like girly girls too much. This cheerleading things has me labeled for life. I totally hate stereotypes."**_

**Stormy: **_**She rips a page out of her book, crumbles it, and drops it on the floor. She pulls a match out of seemingly nowhere and lights the page on fire. "That is what I wrote when I was listening to Serenity yap outside. It was a waste of life and likewise a waste of space in my upcoming autobiography. Problem fixed." The flame spreads to the sofa and Stormy gets up and jerks away. "Oi, that's not good…"**_

* * *

_HOUSE ONE: Dawn, Katroina, Krissy, Lauren, Lena_

The driver was given strict orders. Leave for a couple of hours and come back around five at night. Whether the girls were done or not didn't matter – they were leaving no matter the condition of the house. Of course, he also had to reunite the parents as well with the kids. That was important – no parents meant kids home alone, which child services definitely wouldn't like. And if child services got ticked off, ratings were bound to be bad.

And no one – _no one_ – wanted to see what bad ratings would do to Chris' already satanic tendencies. Staff members would probably end up with trace amounts of arsenic in their lunches or black mambas in their bags and purses. And as people dropped dead, Chris would come lurking around the corners laughing like a creeper and telling himself how fortunate he was that he got to catch the action first-hand.

"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE!"

Whoops. The teen driver left his daydream of a psycho-killer Chris and swerved to the proper side of the road causally. "No big deal," he said. "Oh hey, and we made it to your house no prob."

The parents of the triplet babies were huffing and tearing up as if they had just had their life put on the line. What overdramatics. They tossed the door open and sprinted away from the teen driver's sweet ride and over to their house. They threw the door open, zoomed in, and slammed the door shut.

"That boy can't drive," the father said. The mother nodded in agreement. Whoever gave that boy his license was coming nowhere near their children when they hit driving age.

"Can I help you?" The parents looked over at a pretty girl, who laughed awkwardly as they gaped at her.

"Aren't you beautiful?" The mother said. "I'm glad to have been a part of this if such a nice looking young woman such as yourself was watching over our babies! Oh, by the way, you can call me Mrs. Barry and this is my husband."

"I'm Lauren. Nice to meet you! You're babies are adorable! You're very lucky."

The mother gushed. "Oh, why thank you! You'll definitely have to come back over for one of our barbecues! Now, not to sound overbearing, but where are my babies?"

Lauren laughed and waved her hand. "Oh, they're with my friends. We had five girls here, so we made sure we had one of us with each baby to care for them while myself and my friend cleaned." Lauren turned and cupped her hands over her mouth. "Hey guys! The parents are here! come meet them!"

The parents linked arms and looked at each other in doting parent fondness. They could wait to see the other bright girls who watched their darlings.

Dawn stepped into the room and the mother screamed and leapt behind the father. Dawn arched a brow and Lauren shrugged. "Mrs. Barry, what's the matter?"

The mother stuck a shaking finger out and her eyes were brimming with tears. "Sh-she's just like the dark looking neighbor boy in the house next to us who throws sparkles on everything to make them nonconforming!"

Dawn felt lost. "Dark neighbor boy…? Sparkles…? I don't know what you're talking about."

"She's so well endowed… those thick rimmed glasses… that hair… _get her out of my house_!" Dawn was ready to comment back, but Lauren pointed to an open window. The perfect place to wait whilst looking in to see what was happening. Dawn slapped a hand to her head and walked out. She appeared on the opposite side of the large window and leaned her elbows against to. Her lips were tight and she pushed her glasses up a bit, trying to control her annoyance with the parents.

"She looked like a pot smoker," the father said to the mother. He looked over at Lauren. "You look trustworthy – tell us, did she hit the doobie up for a high in this household?"

**Dawn: **_**She bolts in and sits down, neglecting how half the sofa is in flames. "This is so screwed up! Why does everyone stereotype me?!" She huffs and bolts back out of the room.**_

Lauren caught the nuclear explosions going off in Dawn's face and gave an uncomfortable giggle. "Oh, umm of course not! Dawn's a good person, really. She so doesn't… um, hit up doobies or anything."

The parents nodded, unconvinced. Luckily, Lena came in holding Blue, who looked like he was tucked into Cloud Nine in the environmentalists' arms. "Oh my, you are such a hit with Bradley!"

Lena smiled and gave Blue/Bradly a kiss on his forehead as she passed him to the mother, who tucked him into his blue carrier. "Thank you for taking such good care of him. He seems to like you! You can come to a barbecue, too!"

"No problem," Lena said offhandedly, sneaking a smile at Blue as he stretched his hands out to her.

The father swooped in and leaned in close to her face, connecting her electric green eyes with his shifty glare. "Now, you look trustworthy, too. Tell me, dear, did your dark-looking friend do anything unwise in our home? Did she light up the ol' weed? Spark up a joint? Blaze the spliff?"

"She'd never!"

"Hmm…"

Lena looked over at Lauren, who pointed to a fuming Dawn.

**Lena: **_**She comes in and is making a move to sit on the couch when she notices it's on fire. She sighs and opts to lean in front of the camera instead. "I'd never seen Dawn so mad. I think I'm going to talk to her when we get back and see if I can't calm her down. I guess keeping the topic up right now would just cause more problems."**_

"I'm going to go outside then… nice meeting the both of you and thank you for the opportunity to meet your children." The parents waved as she left the house. They didn't see her go over and try to console Dawn at the window by putting a hand to her back and telling her they'll be off home in a short while.

Katroina brought Haley in. She was tucked in one arm and two books – one on politics and one on the history of hockey – was supported in her other hand. "The War of 1812 was when America tried to invade Canada… hockey is one of the oldest sports in the world and even Greeks played it… in nineteen-eight O Canada became the official theme song for the country…" Her eyes flicked up from the texts and she smiled a bit guiltily. She slowly snuck the books on top of a nearby table while trying to make eye contact with the parents. "Welcome home! I assume you both are the parents?"

"Yes – and were you just reading text books to out child?"

"Well –"

"Thank you! It's wonderful that you care enough to instill knowledge into her mind as an adolescent!" The mother swung forward, took her daughter, and brought her to her carrier. The father took this as an opportunity to go forward and leer at Katroina. "Listen here – you're bright. You know it's pointless to lie on national television, surely."

"I also know not to lie because it's immoral, sir."

"Smart girl. Now, be straight with me. Did your angry friend in the glasses fire up herb? Flame on the reefer? Get stoned on a blunt?"

The blonde laughed. "You mean Dawn? She is one of the last people I would ever suspect of doing drugs."

"That's what they all say," the man muttered. "But me and my wife? We got a good eye for the drug users and abusers. She looks the type."

"And I think her eyes looked a little red," the mother added in. "Didn't her eyes look a little red to you, dear?"

"Sure did, now that you mention it, honey."

Katroina and Lauren shook their heads in unison. These people couldn't be more wrong! Though they felt bad for their friend, they were relieved they didn't strike the couple as potheads. That might not be too good for their mission.

The mother clapped her hands together. "So, where's my precious baby girl? I have one more!" she joked.

"Right here." Krissy came in. She looked very… _wrong_… holding a baby in her arms. What made the picture look that much stranger was the wads of lipstick on the baby's plump lips.

The mother gasped and the father held her close. "That is…"

"Here it comes," Lauren mumbled in defeat.

"Why'd she let the baby wear makeup?" Katroina whispered harshly to herself.

"That is…" the mother repeated, "the cutest thing I have ever seen!"

Katroina and Lauren looked up. They were the mascots for confusion at that moment. "Pardon?" they said with their voices cracking.

"You got pictures, right?" The mother asked, taking the baby into her arms and tucking her into her carrier. "Oh, I love it when she plays with makeup! It's so _cute_!"

"Yeah, she was pretty cute," Krissy agreed in a soft tone. Her two team members locked eyes and mirrored each other with loss. What alternate dimension had Chris shoved them into? "Though the little brat is real bad at it. She kept smearing my lip gloss on her teeth, the retard." Oh there, _that's_ better.

The parents looked at each other then burst into laughing. "Oh, you are such a kidder! You must defiantly come to our barbecue! And maybe we could even have you over to babysit! I'm sure you would make our darlings so happy with someone as funny as you around!"

"_Babysit_?!" Dawn brought all the attention to herself. "You would let her watch your children by herself?!" The absolute horror in her voice was reverberating in her outraged shouts.

"She's stalking us now!" The mother shrieked.

"Listen, just because your pretty friend here has enough mind to not take a whiff of grass doesn't make her a bad person," the father explained. "In fact, I'm sure she could be a good influence on you. And look at the bright colors she's wearing!"

Dawn cringed. "This is so messed up! I can't believe you trust that disreputable bitch with your kids!"

"AH! LANGUAGE! She even has a fowl mouth!" The mother sobbed into her husband. He looked up at the girls in the room. "I'm sorry – we'll get in touch about our barbecues at a later date. But for now we'd just like to be alone. It's traumatizing to know someone like your friend was in our home putting mary-jane in the pipe."

**Krissy: **_**The couch is ashes when she comes in. Krissy growls and looks around and spots something. She lurks over and the camera member is heard shouting 'No!' He stops and is heard landing on the floor. Krissy comes back into view holding a stool. She drops it down on the ashes and takes a seat. "Great. Just great! Dawn had to screw us up! If we even lose this thing because she pissed off the parents, I'm sooo voting her off!" A camera man told her that only Chris voted the girls off and she rolled her eyes. "Right, whatever."**_

**Lena: **_**"I don't think this was one of our better missions, to be honest. Though I am going to miss Blue a whole lot. At least I know their parents are protective.... and they recycle… that's good, right?"**_

* * *

_HOUSE TWO: Right now? Just Leila_

The driver pulled up beside the second house and beeped his horn. After a few moments, Leila came sashaying out of the house. With the elegance of a goddess, she opened the door and slid in. She did a hair-flip for good measure before shutting the door beside her.

"What about the rest of your team?" Katroina wondered aloud.

"Hmm? Oh, I don't know."

"You don't know…?"

One of the two couples in the car shook their heads together. "We know where our son is. We'll get out here and go drive for them and bring them back to the house for their elimination, if that's alright."

The driver nodded. "Wait, I got a bangin' idea! Why don't I drive you over there? I can speed!"

"NO!" Everyone in the car shouted on cue.

He shrugged as the parents quickly exited the car and made it safely out. "I don't see what everyone's problem is," he admitted. "I'm a pretty good driver. Right?"

No one dared to answer that. That was a dangerous question."

* * *

_HOUSE THREE: Roxie, Serenity, Shelly, Stormy, Tawni_

The doorbell rang out. The group, who had been playing Monopoly, put the game on hold and looked over at Tawni. Tawni was sulking on the couch since Mary wouldn't let her play or else her "grumpy germs" would spread or some nonsense like that. Tawni rolled her eyes and walked over to the door. She swung it open and glowered at the Mary-Sue and Gary-Stu looking parents at the door. Their warm smiles faltered at her dreary face. "Oh my," the mother said.

"Later," Tawni said simply, bolting from the house to the car. She'd take her chances with possibly dying via car crash than surviving another second in that house.

"Umm, I'm with her." Shelly yanked her arm from Mary. "Bye everybody. Nice to meet you two."

"WAIT! I'll see you again, right?" Mary asked, looking hopeful.

"Erm, yeah, sure, we'll see." Shelly left the house in a flash. She was content with risking her life in the car over the house as well.

The parents gave the remaining three girls nervous looks. "Was there a problem?"

"No! Anything but!" Serenity assured them. "Quite the contrary. You're children and wonderful, actually. It was a pleasure you have them."

"It really was," Roxie said supporting her. She hugged Mary and Kevin. "Bye, you two. Stay yourselves. And Kev, work on those moves and you'll be a great dancer one day, I'm sure of it!"

Kevin smiled wide. "You bet, Miss Roxie! I hope to meet you again!"

Roxie waved to everyone and walked out casually. Stormy got up and ran off after her, making memos in her book on how easy this challenge was.

"Well, the kids liked you, so we do too!" The father said. He took Serenity's hand in his and gave it a firm shake. "Be sure to drop by if you ever need anything, you hear?"

"Oh yeah, no problem!"

**Serenity: **_**"I like how things worked out!" She gets up to leave and pauses. She looks down at the stool with her brows knitting together. "Wait… what happened to the couch?"**_

* * *

_A HOUSE THAT REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A NUMBER ON ACCOUNT OF IT'S NOT A HOUSE ANYONE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AT BUT IS STILL BEING SHOWN BECAUSE SURPRISES EQUAL HIGHER RATINGS: Al, Charlie, Donovan, Lea, Maddie, and other scary teenage kids_

She was everything he said she was.

Her light hair weaved around her as she swayed to the pounds of the music coming from the stereos. The lights caught her bright purple and red highlights and made her seem urethral and untouchable among the other people who had taken to grinding to have fun. Her shirt clung to her sweat as she danced with more spirit than anyone attending the house party.

"So that's her?" Donovan felt his chest clench as Al came up beside him. Her headphones were wrapped around her neck, her iPod off. She seemed genuinely concerned with his problem. It was strange to have someone care so much about him so sincerely. His mouth was too dry to speak, so he just moved his head up and down. "You're right, she's pretty."

"She's not just pretty," he said breathlessly. "She's the dark red of my world. She's tinting everything I see with the color of romance and suffering. She's making me feel her everywhere."

Al smirked. "What a lucky girl to have someone like her so much."

"Yeah…" He turned to Al and scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry for making you and the other weird chick come out of the house to come here, but I knew she was going to be here and I just have to tell her how I feel before she winds up going out with the typical conformist who asked her out yesterday."

Al nodded. "I know what it's like to fight for the one you love. No problem."

"You're friends are going to be pretty pissed."

"They'll be okay. They understand, too." He wrung his hands, looking nervous. "What's her name?"

"D-Dani. Dani Sellers."

"Foxy." He made a move to leave and she grabbed his arm. "No way, you aren't leaving. You go get her. You tell her how you feel or else nothing's going to change."

He took a breath. "You're right." He looked at her and tugged his lips up ever so slightly in a move to show he was appreciative. "For a conformist who's lowering her standards to be on reality television and sell herself for fame and the shot of dating a shallow dirt bag with hilarious violent tendencies, you're not so bad."

"Umm… you know, you're going to be on TV, too."

"Shit, I forgot," he muttered before taking off for the love of his young life.

"Did you find Madam Mystery as of yet?" Al swung an arm around Lea as she came over.

"Yup. Her name's Dani Sellers. She's the little vixen dancing like she owns the place."

"Oh?" Lea looked out to the crowd as Donovan pulled a girl to him and started talking. They watched as the pair talked. "I just realized something strange. If he's eighteen, why are we watching him? Isn't he technically an adult?"

Al's face fell. "Huh, now that you mention it, this entire mission is pretty screwed up…."

Suddenly, Donovan reappeared in front of the two looking grim. Al gasped. "Oh, man, I'm sorry! I missed what happened! Are you okay?"

"No. She's dating the conformist."

"Oh Donovan, that sucks. I'm sorry."

He looked back up at Al. "It's not too bad. At least there's plenty of alcohol here to drown my hatred for the world in. She dumped me in liquid nitrogen and brought me out, dropping me to the floor and letting myself break apart. I've never felt so much."

Lea frowned. "Charlie doesn't seem to mind being here as much as I thought she would."

Al looked around. "What are you talking about? Charlie isn't here!" A few kids moved out of the way and Al saw Maddie and Charlie at the door, beckoning the two of them over. "Crap."

"I'll come over with you two," Donovan said. "I don't want to breathe the same air at this distance as her. She just sucks my breath away that much easier."

They went over expecting their teammates to look angry, but were instead met with smiling faces. "Great! He's still with you!" Maddie said in joy. "Now we can get the heck back before the parents expect anything –"

"_Donovan_! What ARE you doing here?"

Everyone felt their faces lose color as they turned to face the parents. "Umm… hello," Maddie greeted sweetly. "I'm –"

"Oh, I'm sure you're a sweetheart," the mother of Donovan said. "Please just get in my car – the minivan. I'll take you all back to your house in a jiffy. Donovan, you go into your father's car. He'll take you home, young man, and we'll talk again about this sneaking out business!"

"Whatever," Donovan said in a drawl.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever to you too." The girls were all more than happy to dart back to the van and away from the partiers. Before Al could get far, Donovan pulled her back. "What's up?"

Donovan leaned in and brought her up. He gave her a chaste kiss on the corner of her lips and let her go. "I hope you lose."

Al yanked back. "Umm, yeah, that's not very nice…"

The father slapped Donovan in the back of the head. "Git your horny ass in my car right now, boy! You don't treat woman like that!"

The mother hugged Al close. "Oh, I'm sorry my son is such a pervert! I raised a failure!" Having nothing else to do, Al just pet her back as she cried onto her shoulder.

**Al: **_**"A kid wearing more makeup than me just kissed me while I'm on a televised program to win the heart of a sadist who doesn't like to share. FML."**_

* * *

The girls were already filed in on the podium. Elimination had somehow gotten more intense. Especially after today's challenge. All the girls were standing stiffly awaiting their fate. Their hearts sped up as Chris walked out in all his cocky wonder. He beamed at the girls, his teeth giving a '_Ping_!' as he showed them off. "Welcome, ladies, to our tenth elimination! Usually I would've announced the winners right now so they'd know that they're exempt from elimination, but this way I get to see the fear in all your pretty little faces! And let's be honest, scared girls are hot girls – why else would scary movies have chicks running around screaming their heads off, am I right?"

Everyone blinked.

"… Wow, tough crowd. I guess I'll get down to business. To make this more fun – for me – I'll show each of you what the kids thoughts were, how's that? And first up we got House One's triplets!"

"They can't talk, Chris," Stormy said.

"Oh yes they could." Dawn cast an angry eye over to Krissy who waved back.

"That's why we hired translators," he said. "Check it out!"

He pressed a button on his infamous universal remote and brought a screen up from nowhere. It was all static before a baby in navy appeared on the screen. He was being held up by a man wearing glasses with crazy hair. "The baby says that he appreciated the company of the girl who cuddled him most of the time. He'd like to add that he wishes he could give them a good review, but he thinks girls are icky and thus must revoke his positive comments and label their staying with him as a bad experience."

The ladies of the first house cringed. "How can we take his word for it?" Lena asked, looking a bit upset.

"He's paid, that's how. Oh look, next one's up!"

The baby named Haley came up. She was sucking on a pacifier, giving the psychiatrist a bored stare. "This baby has no comment on the matter, so her vote does not count toward the final score."

"I was hoping for more." Chris shrugged. "Oh well. Last baby! If this one likes you, I'll give it to you. How's that sound?"

The girls crossed their fingers as 'Picassa' came into view. The psychiatrist shrugged. "She can speak for herself. Go on little girl – speak."

The little girl smiled wide. "Bitch!"

He patted her head. "I think that comment is self exclamatory."

"Well, it's clear to me that House One is full of _faaaail_-ures. Guess what they say is true: first is the worst!"

Everyone glared at Krissy. "What?" she asked. "She was going to learn that word one day!"

"House Two had one delinquent! Let's – yes?"

Al paused her music. "Listen, Chris, I think you should know that Donovan… kissed me."

Chris' host smile plummeted. "Say what now?"

"BUAHAHAHAHA!" Maddie burst into laughter. "That's so funny! I bet you guys'll listen to weird music together on dates! It's a match made in _nonconformist_ heaven!"

Chris flicked his remote to the screen and hit the play button. Donovan came into view. "I wanted them to go spill mercury down their throats and poison their bodies until they shriveled up and died together, but they got better. Oh, and Al, if you're watching this, I effing heart you. You took my tainted heart and sent it out there to get trampled on by the girl of my dreams. There's no true love without true pain."

Everyone was silent. "Chris?" Lena asked carefully as Maddie struggled to hide her snickers. Even Krissy was on the verge of laughter. "Are you okay?"

"… BUAHAHAHAHA! THAT IS PRICELESS!" He took a candy and tossed it up to Al. "You just go over to the safe zone stands. Wow… we totally should've had him on Total Drama."

**Al: **_**"… Um, whatever works…?"**_

Chris wiped a tear away. "Now that's good stuff. Kay, what's next…? Oh, right, House Three! This outta be good!"

The static went off when Kevin took the screen. He looked well groomed and gentlemanly. "I hate those bitches and hoes." Apparently he wasn't much of a gentleman, though.

"WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!" Shelly asked in horror.

"Wow," Lauren said. "Hey, did Krissy go to your house pre chance?"

"They all sucked. I did more work than they did. They were lazy. Hear me? Laaaaay-zeeee."

"Not true!" Stormy said. "Sooo not true!"

"The only good one was Roxie, and she didn't even flash me, the stupid tease."

Roxie self consciously covered her chest. "I am _not_ a tease! And I wouldn't tease him anyways! He's still in elementary school!"

The screen turned to static and Mary came into view a moment later. Krissy jumped back behind Charlie in fear. "MISS MARY TOT! SHE JUST DOESN'T GIVE UP!"

"Miss Mary who?" Charlie repeated, feeling perplexed.

"I didn't like them," she said with an evil little giggle. "They were all very thick-headed. None of them fell for my hypnosis tricks I've been working on. That hurt my feelings, and adults who hurt my feelings do not get my vote! Oh, and please buy my videos if you may! There's this one where I –"

Chris was quick to click the screen off. "We don't do free advertising!" He swiveled on his nice shoes to the angry girls. "So, House Two pretty much murdered the other houses, so everyone head over to the stands!" He threw the four girls a chocolate as they went over all smiles.

"Okay, same deal as always for the rest of you. I can your name, give you food you'll regret eating later if you're an anorexic, bulimic, or combo of the two which would be analemic. No matter what you do with your food, no one really cares so just go take up space on the risers were the winners – which is House Two and not you lame-os – are. If I don't call you up or give you anything, take your baggage and what's left of your pride and head up to the Helipad of Shame. Awaiting you is the Helicopter of Losers. Got me? Of course you do. Anyways, first up is Lena… Lauren… Tawni… Shelly… Roxie… Katroina… KK… Dawn… Serenity… and Stormy."

Everyone was on the risers, chewing merrily. Then a thought struck them. "Wait up, Chris," Tawni said. "Who are you getting rid of?"

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Oh yeah, I need to ruin lives on national television, don't I? Let's see… I pick… Leila."

Leila froze. "What… did you say?"

"I want you outta here! Goodnight and goodbye!... Hope your plane crashes…"

"You – you jerk! I'm not leaving yet! Not until I get mine!"

Serenity jerked a finger at her. "Get yours? You… it was you, wasn't it? You're the one who convinced Bell to go home! You don't care about Chris at all, do you?!"

"You would be stupid to care about the bastard. He's, like, the worst boyfriend ever. I came here to get revenge. But who cares? I'll get it, Chris, whether I'm on your stupid little show or not!"

**Leila: **_**"He thinks that's he gotten rid of me for good? Think again, Chris! If this is anything like that one photo shoot I did were I was a mermaid and the merman I was with kept pulling me towards him, you won't be able to resist me!" She looks down at the stool and frowns. "And why the hell am I sitting on cheap wood?"**_

* * *

**Date next chapter because I have ideas. Muahahaha… And I'm in the midst of getting updates for the profile together. It'll be all updated before next chapter is put out and I'll also need to get together art shout-outs and other shout-outs for next update. I'm a bit behind, I know. Oh, and the whole thing with Leila? Yes, it's defiantly not over, folks.**

**Thanks: my man whore, all readers, reviewers, other people with complicated lives, alerters/favoriters**

**Special Thanks: Howlingwulf, long lost twin (welcome back XP), and lazyASshika**

**Have a good week ^^**


	17. Everybody was Lamely Fighting

**The Challenges of Love**

**17. Everybody was Lame-ly Fighting**

* * *

**Dear Reading Audience Member, **

**You are cordially invited to read 'The Mid-Show Reunion' which will be held two chapters from now. This not-all-that-epic event will be hosted by the dream duo Katie and Sadie from the original Total Drama cast and will include moments not included, thoughts from the members kicked-off, and who they're all rooting (or not rooting) for now.**

**Anyone who submitted the OC's and would like to have a say in their current thoughts, feelings, or where-abouts, feel free to PM me on the topic.**

**Hope to see you there!**

**P.S. I updated my profile to shout-out to everyone who made wonderful art donations to TCoL – anything missing? Lemme know please.**

**P.P.S. Isn't everything more fun to read when in LETTER FORMAT? :D**

* * *

**Total Drama and everything associated with it are not mine. The dashingly dashing ladies are also not mine. To add to this list, I have no ownership over Fight Club, iPod's or iPod appliances, **_**Ready for the Floor**_**, Jeffree Star, **_**Ricochet**_**, **_**Shameless**_**, or **_**Eye of the Tiger**_**. Anything else I need to disclaim? Yeah, just pretend it's up here.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires_

_-Ladies Left: 14_

* * *

After spending close to five weeks in the Maclean Mansion, the girls had accepted the fact that the unusual was to be expected. They knew fairly well that if something wasn't going wrong, it was only a matter of time before catastrophe struck. They became experts at dealing with strange happenings. But even though they were all adapting to handling frequent bizarre scenarios, one thing they still couldn't wrap their minds around was Chris's frequent bizarre behaviors.

It was obvious from day one that Chris liked to abuse his power. It was also obvious that he was moody and his words and promises changed with however he was feeling at the moment. After the elimination ceremony, he had promised the winning House Two a sleepover in his room. Al, Charlie, Lea, and Maddie had all arrived at his bedroom door in their pajamas with their arms filled with activities and movies they thought he'd like expecting to be up to all hours of the night having fun.

What they weren't expecting was to come bouncing into his room only to find that he was sprawled out on his bed, snoozing away as if he hadn't slept for months. His stomach and face was pressed into his sheets and pillow, and his blanket was scrunched around his feet. He got more cover from his boxers than his blankets, something the girls secretly cheered for.

"What a drag," Al said sadly. "I even charged my iPod and brought the stereo system along so we could jam out."

"Ladies –" Lea said softly, but Maddie cut her off.

"Whatever. I came in here to sleep with Chris, and I'm going to _sleep_ _with_ _Chris_!"

"_Ladies_ –"

Maddie waved a hand at the girls and dropped the things she brought right on the floor. She sighed in relief and ran over to Chris's bed, jumping on it. With a happy sigh, she wrapped her thin arms under her abs and snuggled her cheek into the rippling muscles on his back. In a lazy attempt to get warmer, she kicked the blankets up over her with her feet. "'Kay, you guys don't have to stay, but I'm fine as is." Maddie yawned and snuggled closer to the sleeping host, her smile growing by the minute.

Al and Charlie's jaws were dropped, surprised by their friend's forwardness. "Two can play at this game!" Al dropped her stuff (everything BUT the iPod) and stomped over to the bed. She slipped under the thick blanket and snuggled under one of Chris's arms. Curling up under Chris, she barely acknowledged Maddie's frown. "I was here first," the blonde muttered.

"So? Some emo kid kissed me and he _laughed_. Something tells me I need to step up." Chris let out a deep breath and she giggled as the fresh breath warming her face. "Ohhh… I should've stepped up a looong time ago!"

"I know, right?" Maddie agreed giggling.

Charlie and Lea shook their heads.

"Can you _believe_ them?" Charlie asked her.

"The indecency is simply overbearing," Lea said.

"I would never just go crawl all over Chris like that when there's so many other girls in the house!" She gave the scene a longing stare as Maddie and Al chuckled again as Chris shifted his weight a bit. "… You wouldn't either, would you?"

"I'd like to think not."

**Charlie: **_**"So it's official; Chris has me thinking that I want to do things I'd never want to do! Like – like – sleeping in a bed with him and two other girls on national television! Yeah, that's a first!" She rolled her head in her hands. "I feel so degraded for caring so much about him when he could break my heart at any moment… I hope I'm just in lust with him, but when I think about it… ugh, but I won't lower myself for him. If he wants me, he needs to prove that he's in it for me. I… I don't want to be just another girl to him. I came here to be more than that."**_

**Maddie: **_**"I dunno why Charlie and Lea are so uptight about it. Al and I are just having fun! I mean it's not like we're doing a threesome or anything! It just annoys me that they're making this a bigger deal than it is. Why can't they just chill and have fun?"**_

An inner-turmoil wreaked havoc in Charlie's aching head as she bundled up in a sleeping bag on the floor. Lea laid in her sleeping bag beside her and looked up at the bed. She didn't mind either way about any sleeping arrangements – to remark on such matters would be rather uncouth of her – but there was one topic weighing on her mind.

**Lea: **_**"Chris was faking it. Faking sleeping is what I mean. I wonder why he did such a thing? Then again I had done an excessive amount of chores and was being quite well neglected, so I let it go. Still, I can't say I'm not a bit curious."**_

* * *

"Gooooood morning, ladies! Rise and shiiiiiiiiiiiiine!"

In a game room upstairs, Shelly groped around for the nearest thing around her bean bag chair and found her hand gripped on a pillow. With the fury of a woman who'd been woken up well before they're ready to greet the day, she chucked the pillow at the intercom and hid back under here blankets.

"Hostile," Chris remarked from the speakers. "But obviously _nooot quite_ hostile enough."

"What is he going on about?" Lauren poked her head from her mass of blankets and gave the speakers in the grand room she shared with Maddie and Roxie a sleepy glare. Roxie, who was in the middle of her morning yoga routine, shrugged as best she could as she twisted her limbs up.

"I'm going on about our agenda for today!" Chris cleared his throat, and when it came back on it sounded like he was a announcer for a wrestling company. "In thiiiiiirty minutes, you ladies shall be inside aaaaaaaaaaaa limo!" The sound of him pressing a button was heard and a fake audience's cheers reverberated from the intercoms. They clicked off and he carried on. "From there you will be transported to – _your – next – CHALLENGE_!" He turned up the volume on the audience, making the sound deafening.

Serenity took the same approach Shelly had and decided to throw something at the intercom, though instead of a fluffy pillow she tossed an alarm clock. "You're more obnoxious than my college roommate – and she was drunk half the time I spent with her!"

"I do what I can!" Chris's voice went back to normal, sounded more chipper than anything. "Now I'll see you ladies later. Take it easy!"

**Krissy: **_**She's bolding her fingers on her toiletries, her hair wrapped up in a towel and her bathrobe tied tight. She's applying her makeup using the camera as a mirror, but she can't seem to get rid of her scowl. "Take it easy! That bastard! I'd like to see him say that! He has fourteen girls in the house and only thirteen bathrooms! No way am I sharing!"**_

**Shelly: "**_**Chris has a habit of having conversations with girls over the intercoms while he's announcing challenges. It's totally confusing sometimes… especially when everyone's in different rooms and you can't hear or see what other people are doing."**_

**Katroina: **_**"I get the feeling that Chris thinks of himself as something of a deity and we're all his little minions or something to that extent. Here I thought I was really starting to change him, but I guess I still have a long way to go."**_

Within thirty minutes, the girls managed to gather themselves into something presentable and filed into the limo. Their ride was seemingly larger than it had been before since the dramatic decrease in numbers. While it worried a few minds, other girls were glad to know they were almost at the end.

"I can't wait for it to just be me and my CC!" Krissy cooed Roxie, batting her thick false eyelashes. "The first thing I'm going to do when I win is take him out and show him off to all my friends. He's so fine, they'll all be so jealous, let me tell you."

"You know you can't see him until the reunion, right?" Roxie told her suavely. "That's at least two weeks of not being with him in public. And you signed a contract – you can't say anything about anything until the reunion."

"What a load of crap. I do what I want."

"She makes this sound like a competition," Katroina said to Lena. "What, does she hope to win money or a reputation? What's wrong with just winning Chris's heart?"

"Not sure. Some people are hard to peg," the brunette offered. "I know I'm here because I love Chris. It's not about am I better for him than the next girl – though I hope I am and I hope he sees it. To me, being here is more about finding my true love."

Maddie laughed and Katroina and Lena looked across at her as she tried to cover her face. "Sorry, but it just sounds corny. I think I have feelings for Chris, but I wasn't sure until I got to know him. You're trying to tell me you were in love with him based off of what you saw on TV? It's just a bit out there, you know?"

Lena smiled sweetly and shrugged. "I wasn't sure, but I felt something. That's a good place to start and it was good enough incentive for me to want to come here."

**Maddie: **_**"It just sounds like BS. I think Lena's pretty sweet and stuff, but it's just too clichéd and stuff. Doesn't fly with me."**_

**Tawni: **_**"I was kind of listening in to what Lena was saying, and I gotta go with Maddie on this one. Since day one she's been all hearts over this guy who presented himself as a legit sadist. It is a bit suspicious."**_

**Lena: **_**"I don't care what anyone says about it. I know my feelings and I'm not the type of person to lie about them or cover them up. I can't explain why I felt the way I did. I'm not going to judge anyone for their opinions, but they must've felt something like I did if they're here."**_

Maddie rolled her eyes but dropped it. She'd just keep an eye on her friend is all. "What do you think, Lauren? You thinkin' what I'm thinking?"

Lauren played with the zipper of her purse and shrugged. "I don't know. I think Lena checks out."

"Well, why did you come here anyway?"

Lauren's face blanched and everyone peaked over to her.

"Yeah, good question! You never said why," Serenity added.

"It's true." Stormy leafed through her book. "Under your name you're the only person here who has a blank section where the category for 'motive for being here' is blank. Care to fill it now?"

Lauren bit her lip and darted her eyes when the limo came to a halt. "WE'RE HERE!" she laughed a bit too insanely. Without looking up from her purse she ducked out of the limo and followed a red carpet into a huge, expensive looking stadium-esque structure.

**Lauren: **_**"Whew. There's a bullet dodged. I think they're onto me…"**_

**Maddie: **_**"She's funny… and weird."**_

**Serenity: **_**"Could she have a different motive here other than to fall in love with Chris?" She purses her lips than busts out laughing. "Naaah. I'm done playing detective!"**_

The girls all entered in after Lauren, walking a long and thin red carpet. It ended in a room with nothing in it but an over-sized boxing ring. Chris was standing in it wearing a referee outfit with his arms crossed and a smug smirk in place. "Are you ladies ready to rumble or what?"

"Oh no." Lea placed a hand to her lips and her chocolate coated eyes blinked wide. "Please don't tell me we're going to be boxing each other."

Chris looked, if possible, even more full of himself. "No way!" Lea looked relived. "That's too tame! Naw, this is a no-holds-barred all-out fighting challenge! This challenge is called Fighting for Love Club! Like the great _Fight Club_, but toned down a lot so we can air it on television!"

**Lea: **_**"**_**Fight Club**_** is a great movie and great book alike. Very powerful and deep. Though as much of a poignant pop culture phenomenon as it is, I have no desire to act it out." She cups her cheek. "I'm already feeling the inevitable shocks of pain."**_

**Shelly: **_**"That's such a guy movie… and it's one of my favorites!"**_

**Sapphire: **_**A window behind the stool creaks open and Sapphire peaks over the edge. She looks around a bit before climbing in and hustling over to the stool. Her smile is the widest it's been since she's been on the show and there's an almost maniac tint to her overjoyed eyes. "This is the challenge I suggested Chris do! It's great he's carrying it out like he promised! Though it's really long, the main premise we're dealing with is on the basement fight scenes. But it'll probably be a little disappointing compared to the movie… still, I made suggestions to keep it interesting!... By the way, Chris has some nice shades on those windows!"**_

With instructions to get changed, the females went to lockers in the changing room expecting to see some sort of protective gear. The closest protection they were offered were mouth guards. Their 'uniforms' were extremely tight short-shorts and sports bras in different colors for each girl. To make them feel more like badass fighters, they got crappy water bottles and towels.

Charlie held up her shorts with a dissatisfied look. "I think my underwear covers more than these will," she admitted.

"Do you think Chris has some sort of fetish with dressing-up?" Krissy wondered. Everyone tossed their towels in her general direction.

Chris had a large screen plummet down from the ceiling with a push of a button once the girls had changed and came in. With another click, typical graphs with empty slots appeared. "This'll have everyone up in the order they'll fight. It's all randomly chosen to make you all panic just a bit more for that extra 'oomph' of excitement. The winner of this challenge gets a trophy!"

Krissy raised a hand. "Whoa, just a cruddy trophy? That's it? No exemption or date or anything?"

"I bet you were valedictorian, huh, huh? But anyways, hey look - it's _shiny_! That counts for something, right?" Her flat look made his eyes roll. "Sheesh, it's not like you'll win anyway so I don't see why you care…"

"What was that?"

"What? I didn't say anything!" Krissy was about to shout out when Chris skillfully cut her off. "ANY_ways_ let's see who our first match is, shall we?" Chris clicked his button and name after name flicked into the first slot. After a few of what Chris thought to be antagonizing moments, he pressed the button again. The name elucidated a smile from him. "Looks like our first lady in the ring is The Stormy!" Everyone looked around and Chris sighed. "What? You sound more epic with a 'the' in front of your name."

"OH! That's me!... _Crud_." Stormy clutched her book as she climbed into the ring.

**Stormy… Err… The Stormy: **_**"If the physical challenges taught me anything before, it's that this book is good to smack things with if I want to win."**_

"Now let's see who The Storm will be facing off against!" Chris clicked the button once then twice and another 'fight name' came up. "It looks like she's up against The Lea!"

Lea felt a bit relieved as she struggled though the ropes and entered into place with as much composure as she could hold on to.

Chris hopped out of the ring and clicked another button that sent a microphone falling from the ceiling into his palm.

**Shelly: **_**"He's got the whole world in his hands," she sings. "He's got the whooole wooooorld, in his hands!"**_

**Katroina: **_**"Is there anything that remote can't control?"**_

"Are we ready to see some GIRL ON GIRL ACTION OR WHAT?" He gave the girls in the ring a determined look. "There will be one round that's five minutes long. The best two out of three progresses to the next round. The loser suffers on the ground somewhere and gets to forever be known as 'That Chick Who Bled a Whole Lot on That One Show with That Hot Guy.'"

"Wow," Serenity said. "That was really specific."

"Ready to start a pandemonium for entertainment's sake – err, I mean ready to fight for my attention?" Both girls were debating whether or not that was rhetorical, both wanting to say no. "Who cares? Ready – and – _GO_!"

Chris hit a bell and watched with fervor along with the other girls, waiting to see the madness that would unfold with pitting two girls against each other.

Stormy squirmed. "I don't like these lights. They're way too bright."

"I'm not appreciative of the fact I'm being avidly stared at," Lea commented back. "Guess we're both at odd ends here."

"C'MON! SOMEONE THROW A PUNCH!" Tawni cheered out, pumping a fist in the air.

"Well, she's ready to go." Lea turned to ask Stormy if they could both withdraw and thus walk out with their bodies intact and heads held high. But as she turned, Stormy panicked and assumed she was going to try and attack…

So to defend herself, Stormy squealed and turned away as she repeatedly hit Lea's head with her book until she was knocked her to the ground. The bell was sounded ending round one and Chris stepped into the ring and crouched over Lea. "Hey, you got four minutes left – you up to finish the round?... Hmm, no answer. I take that as a forfeit! Match One Winner is The Stormy!" Chris carried Lea out of the ring and placed her in a steel chair while Stormy snuck out back to the crowd, smiling at her book.

**Stormy: **_**"This thing is MAGIC!... and since when is the window open? It's never been open before!"**_

**Tawni: **_**"What a cheap shot! That jerk!"**_

**Sapphire: **_**"No blood spillage? What's up with that?!"**_

"Well, Lea's down for the count so I guess we're onto the second match!"He clicked the button and the names left over appeared until he hit it to stop. He beamed at the name given, knowing it was bound to be a good match already. "The Tawni, take your place in the ring!"

Tawni leapt into the ring and laughed heartily, trying to determine which victory dance she wanted to use after she won her match. Chris clicked the button and everyone watch… and watched… a good five minutes later Chris hadn't stopped the names scrolling across the slot…

Tawni cracked her knuckles and kept back her impulse to grab the nearest person and start sending jabs their way. "Just get on with it, Chris!"

Chris narrowed his eyes at her, but the sinister smirk he had made him look more in control of the situation for some guy being bossed around. "Chill for a second, okay? I want to make this suspenseful. Where's the harm in that?"

**Tawni: **_**"The harm is about to be in someone's gut! I'm ready to take off some steam! I'm also more than willing to show these girls how to throw a REAL punch!"**_

**Katroina: **_**"This show is promoting violence. Millions of children could be watching this and they're being shown that it's okay to solve problems with fists. I don't condole this!"**_

**Shelly: **_**"Boy, do I feel sorry for the sucker who's put up against her. If Chef could barely stand his ground, what makes anyone here think they can? Oh well… at least I know I could stand my own! Growing up with all the guy friends and brothers I had, I know I could handle this challenge."**_

The girls shifted in their spots as Chris ran his fiery eyes through the names. "Hmm… eh… nope, nodda… alright, I think I'll stop it – now!... Wait, no how about – _now_!"

Gasps circled the room. It couldn't be… that name… it was karma at its most obvious. "The advanced technology has spoken. The KK, get up in there, doll."

Krissy went stiff. "Wait, CC, baby, did you just say –"

"Yes. Yes I did."

The girls expected Krissy to look panicked. Even Maddie had her bright eyes locked onto her archrival in the house, waiting to see her bordering hysteria or fighting fate by running for the locker rooms. Instead, Krissy rolled her eyes and tossed back her shining hair and stepped into the ring. Tawni had a devil's smirk as she sized Krissy up, trying to determine the best way to take advantage of the golden opportunity. That girl had insulted her and her friends one too many times, and it was time for revenge.

Upon seeing the challenging look Tawni was flashing her way, Krissy scoffed. "Stop checking me out, butch. You think you got this won? Well, I've smacked up a few loser's in my day, so I'm, like, ready for you no prob."

"Feisty," Chris commented to Lea, who was unconscious in the seat behind him.

**Al: **_**"Lea, as one former knocked-out contestant to another, I gotta say, it totally sucks, doesn't it?"**_

The rudeness set off a spark of fire in dark wooden shaded eyes. Wanting to kindle her growing inspiration to show Krissy exactly what she thought about her via her fist in Krissy's face, she decided to try something out. Crossing her arms and standing stiffly, Tawni nodded her head at Krissy. "Okay, Jeffree Star **[1]**, hit me with your best shot."

Krissy had contained her composure until then. With her eyes cringing into slits, rage was settling into her indifferent mood. "_What did you just call me_?"

"This can't end well," Dawn sighed. "I just hope no one bleeds; I can't _stand_ the sight of blood." She shivered slightly.

Serenity leaned in, whispering, "Don't say that too loud with Chris so close…"

Back in the ring, Tawni smiled innocently. "C'mon, what are you waiting for? Do to me what you did to that 'loser' you were just bragging about taking down."

Her moods ever-changing, Krissy began to look a bit assertive, determination setting in. "You asked for it, Toni!"

**Tawni: **_**"Toni…? Oh, that was supposed to be an insult. Right."**_

Krissy sashayed up to Tawni. The crowd of contestants were all expressing themselves wordlessly. Dawn was already nonchalantly turned to the side, not wanting to risk seeing whether Krissy was all talk or not. Most of the girls didn't really want to watch, not as amused by the violence as Chris was, but curiosity had them keeping an eye on the ring.

Krissy raised her hands, and with the scorn of a typical snob - - -

She slapped Tawni's arms from a safe distance.

Serenity giggled, the small tinge of her inner-sadist brought out to light. "Wow, that's hardcore alright," Chris said lamely, not impressed.

The girls seemed to agree. "No soy un combatiente," Roxie told Maddie and Lauren, "but I something tells me that's not an actual move…"

"No soy… un… uh, can you translate that into English, au revoir?"Stormy asked as she paused in her note taking.

"I said I wasn't a fighter," Roxie said simply. Then arched a brow with a small smile. "And _au revoir_ is French for goodbye…"

"Riiight…"

Meanwhile where all the action was taking place, Tawni stared blankly, her expression a cross between unmoved and amused. The self-dubbed winner had reduced herself to standing with her arms crossed and her lips puffed out. After her failed 'slap-a-hoe' method crumbled (the proof was in her throbbing bruises on her arms) she'd taken to waiting for Tawni's next move.

"This is just sad," Tawni said. "I would tell you to forfeit, but I really want to knock you out – just because I can."

Krissy gave a feral growl – a trait just newly acquired from being in a boxing ring. "I wouldn't be s-"

Tawni's fist smacked into Krissy's lips, forcing the diva up out of the ring and soaring onto the floor.

**Maddie: **_**"WOOHOO! ALRIGHT! Man, I freaking LOVE Tawni! She can do no wrong! What I'd give to be her right now!"**_

**Stomry: **_**"That lacked inventiveness. But still, it was nice to witness…"**_

**Dawn: **_**She's**__**smiling up at the camera, her eyes glistening. "Thank you, Karma. Thank you so much. And there wasn't even a drop of blood."**_

**Tawni: **_**Instead of looking happy with her victory, she looks disgusted as she wipes her fist on her towel. "Ewe, there's so much make-up on my fist… it's the most I've ever had on me, I swear."**_

"Well, that took long enough," Chris said, peering around a bit to see Krissy slowly getting up, then wisely deciding against it and laying back down so she wouldn't be bothered. "I guess The Tawni has this won and it's time for Round Three!"

Tawni laughed and gave everyone the victory sign before jumping over to Shelly and staring at the screen with everyone else.

"Okay… next up we got… The Katroina!" Chris looked enthusiastically over to Katroina, who had her arms crossed defiantly. "Uh-oh, I sense some hesitation."

"I'm not doing it, Chris! _It's_ morally wrong, you're morally _corrupt_, and I –MMPHHH!" Something soft and rubbery wacked Katroina in the face and cut off her justified speech. She pulled it off her skin and studied it with a disgruntled expression. "A Chicken Hat?"

"Yep, consider it the latest fashion statement for the morally right," Chris said as he came over and tucked it onto her head for her. "If you want, you can even bok or cluck or something and really get into character!"

"Tempting, but I think I'll pass," she said, readjusting the hat.

Chris shrugged and went back to the screen. "Let's see who gets a free-be to Part Two of the challenge, shall we?" Chris hit the button once and the names flashed around, and then twice to see the name it landed on. "Well, looks like The Serenity is safe."

**Serenity: **_**"Wow. That's unusually lucky."**_

"Now, onto the next round. First name up is…" – click once, click twice – "… The Audrey! Al, get up there."

Al nodded curtly and jumped up, scanning her playlists for music to get her pumped up for whatever opponent she has. She decided what better than 'Eye of the Tiger' and bopped her head as Chris pressed away for her opponent.

"Taking on Dancing Queen up there will be… Vegan Queen! The Lena is up there!" Lena came up all smiles with her boxing gloves on. Having experience fighting off the police from one to many sit-ins gone wrong, she knew how to dodge and just planned on tiring her friend out.

**Lena: **_**"I did go to an anti-violence protest. How hypocritical would that be if I fought now?"**_

**Al: **_**"Al – Al – Al – Al, Al – Al – Al, Al – Al – AAAAAALLLL!" **_**[2]**

When the bell 'dinged' to start the round, Lena with all the energy she has balled up used it to dip and run around Al, who kept trying to throw a few punches. After two minutes, she was starting to think her strategy wasn't working out too well. "It must be the music," she mumbled. She stopped to change her songs. Lena, seeing her opportunity to make Al tired out gone for the moment, leaned over to see what Al was putting on.

"Oh hey, I like that song!" Lena said happily, pointing to the top of the screen.

Al tugged on her low ponytail, mulling over the option in confusion. "Wait, you mean 'Ready for the Floor' from Hot Chip? It's a great song, but I need something I can get focused to. That just makes me wanna dance and sing along. But otherwise, nice taste."

"Thanks!" Lena said brightly. "Hmm… well, what about 'Ricochet?' That song's pretty cool and it's really fight-worthy I guess, you know?"

"Hmm, you can't go wrong with Shiny Toy Guns, but I liked the old singer a lot more –"

"Yo! Less music mingling, more fist fighting!"

Al shook her head. "Sheesh, music sets the mood. Impatient, much?..."

"Hey, All Time Low's good!"

Al's face lit up. "Oh, I love them!" Al clicked on her playlist for the band and tucked her iPod into her pocket, lifting her fists up. "Okay, I'm ready now!"

With a minute left, Lena tried to dodge around faster and get Al tired sooner. Once the minute was up, the bell rang and Chris came into the ring looking a bit ticked off. "What was that? Tag? And you couldn't even land a hit! Maybe if you didn't waste all your time picking out songs…"

"But it's good!" Al insisted, popping one of her headphone's into Chris's ear. "And she's quick."

Chris kept a straight face and nodded solemnly. "Hey, I like this song! You win!"

Lena looked down in defeat. "Awe…"

"It's okay, babe, you can some chill over by me now!" Lena's joy radiated as she held Chris's hand and walked out to where he stood by Lea. Al scowled bitterly and walked to the group.

**Al: **_**"I win and yet I feel like I just lost. Ah, at least he still likes my songs! Shameless is one of my favorites by ATL, too!"**_

**Charlie: **_**"I hate how Chris is such a man-whore…"**_

**Sapphire: **_**"Come on, people! I suggested this to see some action! I. WANT. TO. SEE. BLOOD."**_

With Lena on sitting on one side of him and Lea sleeping on the other, Chris hit the button to pull up the name for the next match. "Not-so-pro fighter numero uno is going to be – The Maddie!" Maddie bounded up into the ring, trying to fix her suffocating uniform once she was on one side of the ring. "Facing off the Hotness in the right corner is… The Charlie! Hehe, I don't even have to pay to see this, but I totally would!"

Charlie giggled a bit, liking how utterly cute Chris was in his little sadist spurts. Remembering how she was the one being tormented was enough to get her to zip her lips and step up in the ring across from Maddie.

"So… you know how to fight?" Maddie asked.

"Not really. You?"

"Eh, not really."

"Aaaaaaaaand FIGHT!" The bell for their round went off, leaving Charlie and Maddie to scuffle around awkwardly, holding up their gloved fists and trying to figure out what came next exactly. They weren't the closest friends in the house, but they weren't bitter enemies in any aspect other than getting Chris's heart. Why would they want to even try to hurt the other person? They respected each other more than that.

They slowly drifted closer, thinking it was what they were supposed to do, and Charlie accidently stepped on Maddie's foot. Thinking it was on purpose, Maddie jabbed Charlie's arm.

"Ow…" Charlie hissed, looking down at a red spot where Maddie's glove had been.

"Sorry, you okay?"

"Ugh…" Chris cradled his head in his hands, realizing this mission was a bad idea. Why oh why were half the girls here so considerate?

"This is the first time I've ever seen a fight where the person asked if the person they hit was okay," Shelly whispered to Tawni, who was trying to stifle her laughter at the scene.

Charlie nodded, not noticing all the disappointment with their sweetness in the ring. "Yeah, I'm alright. I didn't mean to step on your foot, so you know."

"Yeah I figured as much… It's just, y'know, after last night I thought you'd be excited to try and fight me." Charlie gave her a confused look. "I got to sleep with Chris in his bed and you were all prudish and slept on the floor. I thought you might be mad or something."

"I'm not a prude and I'm not _mad_ at you, I just wouldn't lower myself like that," Charlie said offhandedly.

That's when Maddie froze and went from looking sympathetic to agitated. "Whoa, hold up there – lower myself? What's that supposed to mean? What, am I a slut or something?"

"I never said that," Charlie said calmly, breaking into Columnist mode and being level-headed. "I just said I personally wouldn't do that – _ow_!" Maddie punched Charlie's arm again. "What was that for? I didn't step on your foot again or anything."

"I know. I'm just pissed off you're calling me a slut."

"I'm not – _ow_! Would you stop doing that?"

"Not until you stop implying I'm some horrible person because I went to sleep on top of a guy I like with my clothes on without so much as kissing or taking advantage of him or anything."

Charlie sighed. "Look, I don't think any less of you, okay? I just wouldn't do that. Like kissing on a first date – I'd _never_ kiss on a first date. Now maybe you would – _ow_! That's really starting to hurt…"

"Stop implying that I'm loose or something! You don't know me, okay? Stop stereotyping me because I'm more fun than you are. It's not _fair_." With a frustrated punch in the same spot she'd been hitting the past several times, Maddie ripped her gloves off and bolted from the ring and into the locker room, leaving Charlie to stand there stunned and the bell to ding to signal the round over.

"Time's up, and surprisingly enough The Charlie's the winner. All because she just stood there. Huh, interesting strategy with a pleasant twist of drama."

**Sapphire: **_**"If only there were injuires sustained…"**_

Charlie looked forlornly over to the swinging locker room doors, feeling horribly confused. Taking her gloves off, she shook her head. "No, Chris, I defiantly lost." With that she took off after Maddie, leaving the room feeling a lot emptier.

Silence came as the door squeaked and slammed shut.

"… Ohhhhkay then… So they're both losers than, right?"

* * *

Charlie had been expecting to see Maddie crying. Otherwise, why would she leave so fast? But her skin was free of tear drops. She sat on the bench with her arms crossed and her feet on the lockers in front of her, her head steered straight and eyes focused on whatever she was picturing in her mind's theater. When she caught sight of Charlie, she gave her a brief scathing look before flicking her attention elsewhere.

"Maddie… look, I didn't mean to, err, imply anything. I think you're great as much as I think I'm fun. I just take relationships more seriously is all."

Maddie glared back at her. "And you think I don't? I might like to party and I really don't see what the big deal is with me cuddling a _guy I like_, but that doesn't mean I don't take relationships or being here seriously. I like Chris, I really do. I just go about it differently."

**Charlie: **_**"The way she goes about it isn't usually good for healthy relationships. I would know, I've seen it end badly her way. She's just like Chris – too physical too fast. But then again, she isn't all the physical compared to, say, Krissy or Nina. I guess I'm just so on edge. This competition is changing me, I just need to remember who I am and stop going about this like I would for my job – I should try and focus on my connection with Chris instead of my connection with Chris and then everyone else's connections with Chris. If I don't, I'll drive myself crazy."**_

**Maddie: **_**"I don't mind Charlie. And, to be honest, I think she's really bubbly and lots of fun. I blame **_**that**_** time of the month for my irritability, but whatever. Nature freakin' sucks." Maddie goes a bit wide eyed. "Crap, that's going to be on national TV."**_

"I'm sorry, though, really." Charlie offered.

Maddie laughed it off and got up, swinging an arm around Charlie's neck. "Eh, not a problem. I think we could learn a lot from each other…"

* * *

As Maddie and Charlie came in all smiles and sunshine, the next match had already begun. Inside the ring, the next two fighters were going-at it. And by going at it, that translates into they were both just circling each other.

"Hey Roxie."

"Yeah, Shelly?"

"I'd feel really –"

"Ladies! Stay in _character_," Chris sang out.

Shelly sighed and rolled her eyes. "Hey _The_ Roxie!"

"Yeah, _The_ Shelly?"

"I was just thinking that I'd feel really bad if anything happened to those dancer legs of yours. You sure you don't want to back out now? 'Cuz my brother taught me how to fight and aim for where it'll hurt most."

"Judging my your cheering muscles, I think anywhere you hit would hurt at least somewhat." Roxie shrugged. "Besides, these 'dancer legs' are pretty fearsome, you know."

"Ohohoho so you _really_ want to go at it?" Shelly asked playfully.

"Of course! I could use another shiny trophy," Roxie joked as she gracefully came forward. Aiming a soft kick at Shelly's side, the blue-eyed optimist grabbed it and tugged Roxie forward, her glove on her shoulder pushing her to the ground. Roxie wrapped her leg around Shelly's torso, bringing her down with her. The girls, not taking this all that seriously, laughed as they lamely struggled against each other to get up.

**Chris and Sapphire: **_**"Now THIS is a fight I don't mind watching," Chris said happily. Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Pah-lease! They aren't about to do any damage anytime soon!" Chris nodded. "Yeah, but they're cute, and the viewing audience – they like cute!... Hold up, didn't I eliminate you?" Sapphire laughed it off, finally chuckling out a low, "Maybe?" Chris shrugged and gave the camera his star-quality smile as she smiled awkwardly beside him.**_

When the bell rang, the two were laughing as if they had just got in a joke no one but them could understand. They both untangled and stood up, still giggling at their poor attempt to beat one another up. "Pathetic," Chris said, "Yet adorable. Still, not much in the way of hardcore fighting. You're both out!"

**Roxie: **_**"It's cool, because I'm not worried about elimination. Even if I was, winning wouldn't get me anything. And Shelly was right… I was a bit worried about my legs getting bruised. Yoga and practicing my dance routines would be that much harder."**_

**Shelly: **_**"Roxie's cool. She reminded me of one of my brother's girlfriends. We could laugh at the most random stuff together all the time. I miss you guys back home!"**_

"Now, the final match in Set One – oh no, don't tell me."

Obviously, Dawn and Lauren were up, but Lauren was shaking her head. "I back out, Chris, sorry."

Not expecting it, but too disappointed from all the 'cutesy' matches, Chris just gave up and tossed a chicken hat at her no questions asked. "You're all lame-o's, for the record," he said dejectedly before hitting a different button to bring up the score board for Set Two.

**Lauren: **_**She's tugging on her chicken hat. "I would've fought, but then I would've been exposed."**_

The girls stared at the screen and felt pangs of confusion when they saw all the names pop up. Chris gave a sinister smirk as he turned to face the fighters. "This is an all-out duel! All the winners get in the ring and duke it out old-school. The one who can take on all the opponents and walk out like a champ will –"

"Get a shiny trophy?" Lena guessed, still happy to be chilling with Chris away from the group.

Chris nodded. "What she said – literally."

Stormy, Al, Serenity, and Dawn all seemed to be somewhat fairly matched. Then Tawni stepped in with a smile to mock Chris's sadistic one and they slowly backed away.

"Chris, give me a chicken hat," Dawn said.

"Awe, how come? You didn't even fight yet!"

"Eh… umm… because I have glasses I can't fight."

"Touché!" Chris called out. "For that tragedy, you don't even need the hat."

**Dawn: **_**"I know, I know… I took advantage of my own stereotype I've been fighting since day one. But you know – you can't beat 'em, join 'em."**_

**Serenity: **_**"I think Dawn's one of the smartest people here by far. Props to her… if only I had that excuse… I saw Tawni and Krissy's match and Krissy **_**still**_** isn't up yet."**_

Tawni walked forward and was preparing to avenge Lea for being what she thought was cheaply abused. The dark glare set in her eyes convinced the three left in the ring that the trophy just really wasn't worth it.

**Al: **_**"She freakin' fought Chef and, from what I heard, nearly won! I would rather fight Eva… well, no, that's a lie."**_

"CHICKEN HAT!" The three called out, there arm's all thrust up into the air waiting to catch the offending object.

Chris shook his head. "You all got no spine!"

"They all _have_ no spine, Chris…" Lea corrected in her unconscious state.

* * *

It was elimination number eight and the girls were all very much aware of how their numbers were dwindling. Once a large group of twenty-three rivals, now the females were down to the final fourteen.  
After tonight, it'd be thirteen. Just twelve more girls until one was left standing, and it could be any one of them… well, except for whoever went home tonight. Yeah, they wouldn't be the last one standing then, obviously. But for the ones who didn't go home, now _they_ would have a shot with the host.

Chris had been seemingly wasting time as the girls came to stand in an orderly fashion on the podium. While they arranged themselves, he smiled brilliantly at the cameras, rotating to smile at a different one every so often. For what reasons no one really knew, and no one really wanted to know.

Once the girls were ready, Chris turned his dazzling smile to them. "Ladies, it's elimination number eight tonight. How're we feeling? Anxious? Excited? Well really, who cares? I'm the famous one here, not you. Anyways, you know the deal. I say your name, you come up and take a candy or grape and head back to your spots and stand there posing until eliminations over. If I don't say your name, then not only does it suck to be you because you don't get candy or a grape, but you have to find your baggage and head up to the Helipad of Shame and hop aboard the Helicopter of Losers. From there, you leave this awesome mansion and do whatever it is losers do wherever it is losers do it. I don't really know seeing how I'm not a loser." He flashed another smile, and the _ping_ was heard around the courtyard.

"Kay, well let's start first with the trophy winner! While she didn't win exemption, she kicked a lot of butt today without needing to do any kicking. Come on up, Tawni." Tawni smiled and leapt up, taking a chocolate and popping it into her mouth before heading over to the stands. "Alright, next up that one chick." Chris looked down beside him to where he had Lea sitting in a chair, still unconscious and still in her uniform. He shrugged and ate her candy. "Whatever. Roxie… Lena… Serenity… Maddie… Shelly… Charlie… Al… Dawn… Harvard… Lauren… and now it's down to KK and Stormy."

**Lena: **_**"I hope Stormy doesn't go home. Chris hasn't been treating her well or really giving her chance. Sure I want to win, but I hate to see him treat someone like dirt."**_

**Al: **_**She looks a bit put-out. "How come he didn't prop me on a chair and lug me around when I was knocked out?"**_

**Maddie: **_**"Please oh please oh please oh please send that bitch home!"**_

"KK –"

**Maddie: **_**"HALLELUJAH!"**_

" – You're safe, babe. Come up here and get the candy."

**Maddie: **_**She staring wide-eyed.**_

**Serenity: **_**"Really now, what DOES he see in her?"**_

Stormy was left with a trembling lip on the podium as Krissy slunk away and came back, giving her an almighty look. With a sigh Stormy slipped up and gave Chris an unsure look. He rolled his eyes, prepared to hug her like he thought she wanted, but was instead shocked to find her whacking him with a book instead. Very hard.

"Hey, what the hell?" Stormy flipped her hair at him and stalked off, giving Lena a slight nod before leaving.

**Chris: **_**Looking sourly at the camera, Chris massages the top of his head. "Right choice made."**_

**Stormy: **_**Tears are rushing down her face. "It isn't fair. I really liked him, and he barely gave me the time of day. That's it, I give up on men! I don't need this! I'll just be like Virgina Woolf, minus the husband!"**_

**Lea: **_**She looks groggy and is holding an ice pack to her head. "Ugh, the next challenge better not be physical." She cocks a brow and looks to the corner of the room. "Sapphire, why are you here and why are you hiding behind a lamp…?" Sapphire looks around and races to the window, leaping out while cackling manically. **_

* * *

"You know what really confused me?" Dawn asked Katroina, who was outside by the pool with her.

"What?"

"If Chris is such a sadist, he would've really liked this challenge, right? Yet he barely took it seriously."

"Hmm, I didn't even really think about it like that –"

"AHAHAHAHA!" Dawn and Katroina looked behind them to see someone leap out a window Lea was curiously peaking out of and running in the distance, security hot on their trails. Katroina looked back at Dawn. "Hey, do you think that's Izzy or a wild fan?"

Dawn considered this a moment and nodded to herself before answering. "Nah, I think it might be a former contestant since only they would know where the house is. I think it's Nina – she's also a crazy fan."

"Good point. Hey, you're smart, you know that? If you ever ditch the art idea, you should room with me at Harvard."

**

* * *

**

**[1] – Jeffree Star is a famous transvestite with a love for strange videos, making MySpace-core music, and wearing a lot of makeup. If you didn't know this, welcome to the world of pop culture! :D**

**[2] – She's singing this to the intro tune of 'Eye of the Tiger' in case you missed that.**

**IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS AN OC! Next chapter, the 'exes' of the contestants left over (the final 13) are going to be making an appearance, so I'll be PM-ing you on information I'll need. Now, I'm a bit behind and want to update fast, so the sooner you can get back to me, the faster I can update. Good deal, eh?**

**As for Stormy going home… another good OC gone until the reunions. I had a lot of fun writing her, too. This just keeps getting harder and harder. **

**Things to consider for next chapter: what's up with Lauren? How did Al acquire great music taste? Is it just me, or are personalities clashing a bit more? Does Chris actually like the girls yet or is he still being fickle? Are you as excited for the Blink-182 reunion tour as I am? Do you think I have too many confessional moments? Was this chapter too long? Who is John Galt?... Ignore that last one if you don't read Ayn Rand…**

**And sorry if that was a bit anti-climactic. I tried to keep everyone as OC as possible, and it was a bit harder than expected with this challenge. But I had to do it, because almost every Love show has something like this.**

**Special thanks to: EVERYONE! That long wait must've been unbearable :/ **

**Spectacular Special Thanks to: everyone who asked if I was dead T.T It's nice to know we assume the worst hahaha nah I appreciate the love. Question though: if I really did die and you asked me if I was dead, how would you find out I was dead…? Ah, the things we wonder after writing 29 pages…**


	18. MidShow Happenings

**The Challenges of Love**

**18. Mid-Show Happenings**

* * *

**So… the Chris VS. Ex Part's are going to be at least two parts – I'm not sure, they may be three, so don't hold me to anything. At any rate, The Mid-Show Reunion is this chapter instead for a few reasons, and if you really care why I changed it up, it's because there's a lot more information to write up than I thought there would be. Silly me! Oh, and thank you to everyone who got back to me! You're all in my will as of now… eh, not really, but it's the thought that counts, right?**

**And I also know I said deleted-scenes, but I figured they'd be more appreciated in the last-epic chapter, so they've been pushed back. Please don't playa-hate, I thought it'd be unfair to only do some girls. Makes sense, ne?**

**Disclaimer goes here - let it include how I don't own Total Drama Island or any related aspects, variations, or spin-offs including but not limited to characters, places, and insane torture techniques.**

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* * *

**

The cameramen were exposed to a lot of hardships while working on reality shows. They had to struggle to get good shots of tormented contestants, sneak around for dirt, and try not to be noticed during the filming of romantic moments. And because they had gotten so good at their job, The Network had decided to get them to take a break from _The Challenges of Love_ and film a talk show.

That's why, today instead of roaming the Maclean Estate with cameras and cramping themselves into the Confessional and Control Rooms, the filming crew for the sadistic host had placed themselves between an empty stage and a wild audience. The empty stage had a large warp around sofa angled toward two 'princess' throne-esque loveseat. The backdrop had the title of the show in its signature fonts to bring the scene together. The crowds of people in the seats of the audience were cheering as they waited to see the drama unfold in real life.

As a scrawny looking guy stepped up with a microphone in hand, the cheers got more untamed until the bouncers waved their hands down to quiet them up. The man on stage raised his hand in thanks and cleared his throat. He looked a bit awkward on the stage and it was obvious he'd rather be in the back of the room instead. But he must've signed his freewill over in a contract, but he didn't seem to be going anywhere.

"Hey everyone! I'm not your host, but I'm the person introducing them. The reason they need a _damned_ intro when it's _their_ job to introduce people in the first place is _beyond me_." The man cleared his through again as the people tried to lean back, not approving of his angry outburst. "Right, sorry… anyways, here they are – from the original Total Drama cast, it's Sadie Something and Katie Something Else!"

Everyone cheered freely once more as the teen girls skipped in hand-in-hand, squealing at the mass ovations they were getting for just walking in. They blew kisses and gave waves simultaneously as they made their way up to the loveseat. Once they sat down, they did more frantic waves to the endearing fans. The man who introduced took this opportunity to bolt out of the place while muttering about his hatred for contracts.

After a few minutes of hysteria, everyone settled down, even the power-friends. Sadie and Katie looked at each other and giggled. Sadie did another wave to the audience. "Hi, guys!" They went back into a giggling fit as the audience cheered again. "Gee, they're easily excited."

"Tell me about it!" Katie agreed. "They remind me of your last boyfriend. You know, the one who tried to glomp you every time you said his name?"

Sadie put her head in her hands in shame. "Ewe, he was _so_ annoying. You'd think he'd get the hint to stop doing that when I started referring to him as 'That Guy' instead of Zach."

Katie patted her friend's back in sympathy while shaking her head in grievance. "I _told_ you not to date a guy named Zach." She tilted her head into the camera and cupped her mouth, whispering out, "Guys with the name Zach are usually clingy," as if it was an imperative fact to know – sealing the shared information with a sly wink.

Sadie looked up. "You are totally right. I should've listened to you! I'm sorry I was so swept away by his good looks… and his knees reminded me so much of Justin's." At the mention of the model, the girls sighed and squealed, "Justin! EEEEP!" together in perfect friend fashion.

"Ahem, girls, the ladies are getting a bit impatient. Do you think you might want to introduce them now and get on with the show?" the head cameraman asked, getting impatient himself.

"Rude much?" Sadie said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"He really is," Katie agreed. "It's _our_ talk show, his. You'd think he'd have a little respect for the hosts." Katie blinked and smiled wide. "Wow, Sadie, you know what I just realized?"

"That we're officially hosts?" Sadie said with a bigger smile.

"Don't you mean hostesses?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?!"

"YEAH!"

"YAY!"

They hugged each other and offered their congratulations to one another on reaching a new peak in their 'celebrity' status.

"Girls… any day now…" another camera-operator groaned.

The BFFL's let go of each other and sighed. "They're so bossy! Were they the camera people that went on strike? I bet they were." Sadie said in a low whisper to Katie, who shrugged.

"Well, I think we should just get things going then and keep them from going on strike on _us_."

"Good idea!"

"Awe, thanks!" Katie whipped out a deck of cards and held them between herself and Sadie. "Alright," she said. "The first girl up is someone who was eliminated first – and who didn't do much of anything on the first challenge."

"That was mean of her, I thought," Sadie added.

"Anyways! Okay, please welcome Rachel Haynes!" The audience cheered as a plain looking girl came up through the hallway and sat on the far edge of the plush sofa. She didn't notice the backdrop that was now sporting a picture of her face doing a goofy smile that made bad yearbook pictures more tolerable.

Katie and Sadie stared at Rachel, both of them with big sparkling eyes and wide excited smiles. Rachel drummed her fingers on her lap and twitched. "Err… hi?" she finally said.

"HI!" the friends said with double the enthusiasm.

Rachel shook her head. "You guys are too jumpy. I bet its nerves. Are you nervous being on stage in front of hundreds of people and on national television?"

"Nope," Sadie said.

"It's fun," Katie agreed with a giggle. "Besides, we've been in a few musicals together and stuff. No big deal, right Sade?"

With glowing eyes from the shot of nostalgia of doing performances in front of the school with her BFFFL, Sadie nodded solemnly. "You betcha, Katie." Rachel arched a brow and Sadie made eye contact and sighed the way she would when remembering she had a huge homework assignment due the next day. "Right, so," she said slowly, "something everyone's been wondering – do you have _bladder_ issues?"

Rachel lifted her finger as if to defend herself and took a deep breath, but after a moment of consideration let it drop and nodded. "I doubt it. Well, I don't know. Not Sure. Maybe. It's possible. I could. It's more than likely. Probably. Yeah. Yes. Is that a bad thing? Don't judge me! WHAT'S IT TO YOU, HUH?!"

"No one's judging you!" Katie said waving her hands. "We're just trying to be good hosts!"

"_Hostesses_ – and yeah," Sadie said in their defense. "It's, like, our job to ask prying and personal questions. The jerkier we are and the more embarrassing the questions, the better we're doing at our job!"

Rachel calmed down and laughed in an unnaturally high pitch. "Oh, right, silly me. Heh, it's just nerves. I have nerves, you see. I don't like being on TV. I'm too shy!"

Katie and Sadie exchanged looks. "So, then why are you on TV?" They wondered. "Like, you didn't have to be… no one made you sign up for this."

"I wanted to meet some hot guy and have him fall in love with me and I thought Chris would be into me."

"Why'd you think that?" Sadie asked, hoping for a semi-normal answer.

"I wished for him to marry me… when I blew out the candles on my birthday cake!" She bit her lip and beamed as she hooked her ankles together and looked up at the ceiling lights. She seemed too happy – almost like a mental patient. "It was my birthday the day I auditioned and I wished for it and figured I'd help the Birthday Fairies along… and my roommate from college encouraged me to do it, too. She drove me down and videotaped my audition and everything. She seemed eager to get me out, not even minding I'd be gone for a few weeks. Isn't she sweet?"

"Or maybe just sane…"

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing…" Sadie said innocently.

"So, what did you think about being the first girl out of the house? Were you upset? Hurt? How do you feel about it now? Are you over Chris?"

"Oh my God! I'm sooo not over Chris! I told you, the Birthday Fairies will make us married! How can I be over my future husband, huh?! HUH?!" Rachel took a deep breath and calmed down. "And yes, I _was_ upset. I had no idea I'd be going home. I didn't deserve too – it's not my fault I had to pee real bad and couldn't find the bathroom in a pitch-black stadium. No, I shoulda stayed."

Rachel crossed her arms defiantly, mumbling.

"Oh… okay… well, she's spazzy." Sadie decided.

"She is! Oh wow, you just totally said what I was thinking!" Katie chirped merrily.

"It's our BFFFL-connection!" Sadie explained. "And speaking of it, are you thinking what _I'm_ thinking?"

"That it's time to bring out the next contestant?" Sadie nodded. "Yay! We're so good like that! 'Kay, well here's our next lady. If she would've gotten to stay longer, I think she would've been worse to deal with than Krissy."

"I thought that, too." Sadie said. "She seemed like a total manipulator!"

"Well, here she is – Mandy Samantha Cassiders! Mandy, c'mon up!"

Mandy took the same route to the stage as Rachel, looking more confident and assured with herself. She wore her formal attire of a blue cocktail dress with blue pumps and had her makeup highlighting her face. She came in a sat cross-legged besides the still muttering Rachel. The two looked strange sitting beside each other.

"Hi there!" The BFFFL's greeted warmly. "So, you were eliminated second and were the first person to get eliminated without there being a ceremony. How do you feel about that?"

Mandy waved her manicured hand off-handedly. "Oh, I'm over that. Sure I was pissed at first – I mean, I just wanted to look my best and the other girls were hogging up all the bathrooms. But I mean I don't care much anymore."

"So you're over Chris randomly eliminating you for trying to look good for him?" Katie asked, biting her nail as if she'd still be a bit upset herself over a matter like that.

"Hey, if he wants to date ugly weak women over me, whatever."

"You tried to cause a lot of drama in the house while you were there, though," Sadie said. "And not everyone was buying into it. Like in this clip! Everyone, it's time for – Sadie and Katie Vision!"

The audience cheered as the backdrop replaced Mandy's smiling face with a logo for 'Sadie and Katie Vision.' The logo disappeared as an image of an earlier episode filled the screen.

* * *

_**Sadie and Katie Vision (Flashback; Episode 5; Multi-Dating):**_

Mandy was seen strutting into the largest living room in the house. A devious smirk formed on her pouty lips as she saw Sapphire nodding to something Nina was telling her on the couch. On a couch of the same design a few feet from facing that sofa, Dawn and Bell were discussing something else.

"I wonder how the date's going," Mandy said thoughtfully, attracting all the attention from the four chatting girls to her. She sat down beside Nina, flipping her hair back and narrowing her eyes slightly.

Nina frowned and puffed her lips out in misery. "Probably great…" Sapphire and Dawn nodded, not looking interested in where the conversation was shifting.

Bell shrugged and seemed to be the only person who didn't look disheartened. "So? We'll have more chances."

"Yeah," Mandy agreed, angry that Bell had been so carefree about things. She decided to take things up a notch. "But you guys _could've_ had more of a shot at winning if it wasn't for Stormy, _right_?" Mandy wondered aloud to Bell and Nina. "Doesn't that mean she isn't here for Chris? Shouldn't he _know_ that?"

Dawn and Sapphire eyed each other and flicked their sights back on Mandy, both deciding she was up to no good. Nina's face lit up as if she had been let in on a secret. Bell was still the only one who looked indifferent. "I'm not here for him really, eiter," Bell said. "Does that mean yo_u_'re going to tell Chris on me?"

**Bell: **_**"The girl's a moron. It's obvious she just wants to cause some drama. She should go get a life. I mean really, are we adults or what?"**_

**Sapphire: **_**"Ohh… drama is brewing… I hope it leads to a fight… we need one of those I think."**_

**Dawn: **_**"Well, I don't trust Mandy. It's rather obvious what she's up to, I think. You'd have to be an idiot to not see it."**_

**Nina: **_**"CHRIS NEEDS TO KNOW THAT STORMY ISN'T HERE FOR HIM! You'd have to be an idiot to not see it!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

Sadie and Katie clicked off the screen and it went back to the original show logo and gave Mandy a knowing stare. She shrugged. "I like drama, so sue me. It's something Chris and I have in common. And who cares if anyone 'saw through me' or whatever? It's not like it had any impact on me anyways. I was voted off second, remember?"

"True facts," Sadie nodded.

"Oh hey, speaking of drama, you had a brief alliance with Krissy that was cut out of the show, didn't you? How'd that go?"

"We made it the night before I got cut," Mandy said. "It wasn't anything interesting, we just ate together and figured we'd get the dumb girls out of the place first before dealing with each other. Maddie was target one – we were going to try and sabotage her in the next mission, but it didn't happen."

"Ooh, why didn't it happen?"

"I went home!" Mandy barked out, her eyes narrowed. After her flash of anger, she suppressed her rage with a flick of her hair and sank under a lull of cool indifference. There was no way she wanted to be on television telling-off _children_. That'd be bad publicity and all. She settled for breathing out a, "God, I'm surrounded by retards…" and then snapped her glossed lips together.

"I'm not retarded," Rachel piped up, having caught the whisper thanks to her propinquity to the anguished bachelorette. "I just have the nerves!"

Mandy scoot away a bit, arching her brow and looking uncomfortable.

"Awwwkwaaaard…" Sadie said, looking at Katie. "Conversation shift!"

"Good idea. Introduce the next person. You should totally have a turn."

"Yay! Okay next up we have a person who was on the show… just because. Here we have Jade Alexandra Smith!"

Jade came down the hall looking chill, not caring much about the cheering loons in the seats of the audience. She sat on the opposite side of the couch away from Mandy and Rachel, having more room to spread out. "Yo," she said causally. "Guess you're going to interrogate me for all the details of my time in the house and getting eliminated and blah blah blah, right?"

"Oh, she's good!" Katie commented to Sadie. "Do you think she got hold of our cue cards before we saw them?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "What annoying idiots…" she mumbled under her breath. Mandy stifled a laugh.

"She doesn't seem very nice…" Sadie told Katie in a high voice, her eyes squinting as she studied the punk with a 'tude. "I don't think I want to interview her…"

"Yeah, you're right, me either." Katie said.

Jade threw her hands up in the air. "Then what the hell am I here for?"

"I don't know! I just wanted to be a hostess!" Sadie clutched Katie. "Katie, I don't think I want to be one anymore."

"Sadie!" Katie gasped. She looked around and pointed at a lead cameraman. "You can't give up! You have to do it! I already wrote as my Facebook status that we were doing this! I can't be a liar on FACEBOOK!"

An audience member raised their hand. "Yeah, I have a question!"

Katie and Sadie swirled over to look at the random person who stood up, looking like they were rather brave. "Well, go ahead!" The girls offered.

"Thanks – yeah, uh, it says in your profile on the show's website that you don't like the color pink, right? But then you, like, have these pink streaks in your hair. So does that mean you don't like pink in anything but hair or only you can wear pink or what…?"

"It means I do whatever I want, smartass." Jade was nonchalant about the whole thing, freaking the questioning person out enough to sit down and cling to the person beside them.

Katie's face scrunched up. "Ewe, I don't like that word. Can't we censor that or something? Don't we have people that do that?"

"Censor people! Do your job!" Sadie chanted out. She looked back at Jade. "I don't think you were surprised to go home, were you?"

"Nope, I was thrilled."

"Gee, no wonder it's so hard to find love these days. Even on love-oriented shows the people, like, don't love who they signed up to love. That's kinda weird." Katie looked down at her cards and she frowned more. "Oh no. Sadie, you introduce her. I don't want to."

Sadie saw the name and pushed the card away. "Yeah right! I don't want to! I saw the episode were she was a bully to her group. And she's, like, super ancient!"

"Like super _super_ ancient."

"I was sooo glad when Chris voted her off! And, ewe, do you remember what she did to his treadmill?"

"Yeah! When she wiped her ucky sweat all over it? I just about gagged, it was so disgusting!"

Jade walked up and snatched the cue card out of the girl's hands and sighed. "For the love of God… Ulli Schmidt. There, I said it. Ulli, get out here and shut these clones the hell up."

She threw the card back at them and went back to her corner of the sofa. Katie and Sadie glared pointedly, not pleased with their conversation being interrupted or things not going their way. Understandable as it was, that didn't change the fact that their next contestant was now on the stage and sitting beside Jade.

She narrowed her eyes. "You two children didn't want to see me?"

"Oh, _nooo_! Of _course_ we did!" Katie said, trying to hide her nervousness with an innocent smile.

"We just thought you should have a… err… better intro?"

Ulli accepted that answer and stood up in the center stage, waving off the 'hosts' before they could answer any questions. "My name is Ulli – future star Olympian of the world. I have been training very hard. Notice my nice, defined muscles and healthy veins."

"Why does Chris have so many freaks on his show?" Sadie wondered.

"Ulli – hi. Um, so, I guess you still fake-tan. Isn't that bad for your skin?"

"This is natural tan that I use," Ulli insisted. "The light bulbs are made of glass. Light bulbs make light, and light is natural."

"Light bulbs aren't natru-"

"LIGHT IS NATURAL!"

"Ahhh! Ahh, okay, okay! Light bulbs are natural, light bulbs are natural!" Katie went as far back in her seat as she possibly could.

The stage seemed dead, with everyone either blankly staring or glaring at someone else. Sadie and Katie pull out their next cue card, hoping beyond hope for someone who would be sweet and fun – rather than evil, bitchy, or psycho. They just seemed to be having poor luck with that.

"Next girl up is… Nina Patterson." Sadie gave Katie a strange look, as if struggling to remember something. "Wasn't she crying half the show? Poor girl!"

"I know! If my crush embarrassed me like that all the time, I don't know if I could handle it!"

"Niiiiinaaaaa! Come out here, pleeeeease!"

A short, pale stick of a girl walked out onto the stage. With her infamous black beanie in place, mismatching with her pink dress and yellow shoes, Nina sat in the large space between Ulli and Mandy, not wanting to be close to either. "Hi," she said sweetly.

"Hi-ya!" Sadie said. "Just so you, like, know, we are totally sympathizing with your situation. Chris didn't treat you so good, ya'know? And us girls gotta stick together on this one."

"You said it, Sadie," Katie agreed. "Girl power and all."

Sadie peered in a bit. "You don't look upset or anything, though. What gives? Were you all tears and stuff for the cameras?"

"No, I really liked Chris – I couldn't fake my love for him!" Nina objected hastily. "In fact, I _still_ love him. I just decided to love him from afar, you know? I screwed up my chances because I got so nervous and pessimistic around him… but if I ever get another chance, I'm hoping I won't let nerves get the best of me. And I think I sounded a bit crazy on TV…"

"NERVES!" Rachel screeched out. Everyone looked at her and she went back to rocking in her spot. Mandy scooted away a bit.

"I get where you're coming from," Katie said. "My first boyfriend made me feel like a complete idiot."

"Oh, oh, I remember that!" Sadie looked over at her. "You were so awkward around him. Wait, wasn't his name Zach, too…?"

"Anyways," Nina interrupted, not wanting to hear about Zach-characters as she talked her soul out on television, "I'm not quite over Chris, but I accept that he's a major celebrity crush. Something to dream about, you know?"

"Right, so no hard feelings?"

Nina narrowed her eyes. "No hard feelings for him… but I have plenty for the girls in the house. Like I know if – "

"Whoa, wait! We're doing a segment on opinions later. Right now we're just getting the background info, mmmkay?" Nina nodded dejectedly. "Sweetness, thanks hun!" Sadie smiled at Katie. "You're turn, my BFFFL."

"Thanks, _my_ BFFFL!"Katie read the card aloud. "Next we've got a girl who helped her band reach new heights with her talent for singing and lugging her guitar around with her. Give it up for Victoria Love – or just Vikki!"

An entire section wearing shirts that said "Dark Wings" on the fronts whooped and hollered like crazed fans as a metal song blasted through the room. Vikki came in with her guitar, whom she affectionately called Luns more than once on the show, strapped around her shoulders. She took a seat between Nina and Ulli. "Hey, everyone, thanks a lot." She smiled and did a half-salute at the warm welcome she got.

"So everyone got famous from this show, and you seemed to reeeally benefit from it." Sadie observed. "Did you want Chris's heart or publicity?"

"Chris's heart," Vikki said without a second thought. "The publicity was just a bonus. It sucks I lost, but me and my band, Dark Wings, are getting booked at big places and opening for big names. It's freakin' awesome."

"Sounds like it! This one time Sadie and I tried to start a pop-duo in middle school. We were called Sadie and Katie! We were great! We could dance, sing! It was tons of fun!"

"Yeah! It's too bad we didn't know how to play instruments…"

"I know! What's wrong with an Acapello group anyways? I think we can pull it off for all of ours."

"You're so right. GASP! Katie, we should try to revive it!"

"Um, I'm still here," Vikki said half-heartedly.

"Don't be offended," Jade said. "They've been doing that to everyone. Their rants are annoying, yet fairly distributed."

"Just keep talking about yourself until they decide to go back into host-mode," Mandy suggested.

Rachel looked at them and said – "You mean _hostess_-mode," – then looked away.

"Oh, but don't talk about the girls left – they have a segment for that later," Nina said brightly, missing everyone's sarcasm.

Vikki nodded. "Err… sure. Okay. Well, yeah. My bands famous and I don't really have time for guys at the moment, but I'm still looking for one who can handle my lifestyle and all. I'm over Chris, but we text sometimes. He's a pretty awesome friend." Vikki noticed the other girl's glares and arched a brow. "What?"

"You… you still kept in contact with Chris?" Mandy asked, bewildered.

"Yeah. Why, none of you have?"

Nina sniffed… her face went red and puffy… and she… sobbed. "WAAAAAAAAAAH! CHRIS DIDN'T KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MEEEEEEEEEEE!" She crushed her arms around Vikki in a bone-shattering hug and balled her eyes out onto the rock-idol's outfit.

"Whoa, chill man." Vikki's face contorted. "This is gross. That better be your slimy tears running down my arms and not your snot or anything, or we'll have serious issues."

Vikki flashed a 'Help Me!" glower over to the talkative, easily-distracted teens. They felt her rage and looked over, catching the same face of disgust she was sporting. "That's not right," Katie decided.

"Censor people!" Sadie shouted once more. "Censor people – take this out, too!" Nothing happened. Sadie shook her head. "I don't understand! How do they get everything edited for when it airs on TV if they don't do anything about it now…?"

Vikki slapped her head. Jade rolled her eyes. Mandy wondered why no one was worried about censoring the freak named Rachel beside her, who was now banging her head against the back of the sofa. Ulli was randomly doing jumping jacks, adding an extra nine numbers with every one she did. Nine was still crying hysterically.

It made some people wonder how all those personalities fit under one roof for weeks.

"Let's bring out the next girl!" Sadie said promptly, giving up on the Summoning of the Censor People for a second time. "Isabelle Marely! Bell, take the stage!"

Doing as instructed, Bell came out onto the stage from a side entrance. Her eyes darted around looking for a face. "Alright, where is she?"

"Who…?"

"The stupid bitch Lisa or Lulu or whatever. If she thinks she can get away for making Serenity – one of my best friends in the house – suffer, she has another thing coming! She should've gotten the boot instead of me!"

"But… you voted yourself off, remember? And it was a part of her challenge to get you to leave..."

* * *

_**Sadie and Katie Vision (Flashback; Episode 10; Mission This Is Not Possible):**_

Leila and Bell were sitting at a table. Leila looking too innocently at Bell, who had her arms crossed and her lips pouted. In front of her were a box of raisins, which she obviously didn't seem to enjoy being so close to. "I _hate_ raisins," she finally said.

"Ah…" Leila observed. Then she flashed fiery eyes over to the doubtful consumer. "You know, is Chris worth eating yourself _dead_ through a box of this dried up fruit?"

"Well he's a cool guy. I mean I'd do anything for a friend."

"Wait," Leila thought this through briefly, finding the perfect way to manipulate her into leaving, " so you only see Chris as a _friend_?"

Bell looked at her, wondering where she was trying to take this. "Yeah, I came here for the excitement, y'know?"

"Oh, believe me, _I know_. Bell, listen, by you staying here you are sending home girls that actually like Chris and want to be with him. All those girls that went home before you that have feelings for him could have caught his eye by now. I don't want to come off cruel, but you're being selfish if you're putting your wants over so many other girls."

Bell blinked and put the raisins down. "Huh, you know, I think your right. I didn't think about it that way before… I feel so… _bad_."

"Bell, you know we all love you here at the house and you've been honest since day one! There's nothing to be ashamed about! But these girl's hearts are _on the line_, so please think about them."

Bell shot up and wiped her eyes. "I… I'm going to go home. I can't stay here when everyone loves this guy and I'm just a friend!" She looked over at Leila and hugged her. "Thank you for making me see how mean I was! I had no idea, honest! I was so caught up on the fun I just –"

"Shhh… it's okay. Here, I'll even go with you to make it easier…"

* * *

"See! She's a jerk through and through! She lied to get me outta there! And Serenity was upset about it! I would've been upset, too if someone did that to my friend. She's a total backstabber is what she is."

Bell threw herself down on the sofa beside the sobbing Nina. "Speaking of jerks, Ulli you weren't so nice either! And Mandy you were a fake! And – and there were so many fake girls who were just complete bullies in the house! I can't believe any of them treated my friends like that for some TV time."

"We weren't in it for TV time!" the girls shouted out together in unison.

"Yeah," Jade continued. "I was also there for fun."

Katie felt a pang of guilt when she saw Bell acting hystiercal. After all, she had to leave her closest friend when she got voted off Total Drama Island. She understood the pain of having people you love being ripped to shreds by people who were all-around jerks and you couldn't even protect them. Clasping a hand over Sadie's, she tried to focus Bell's mind on something that might take her down a few notches. "Do you miss Chris though?" Katie asked.

Bell steadied her eyes on her and simply shrugged. "I mean we text every now and then, so it's no big deal. We're still kinda on friend terms I guess."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Nina pulled her into her grip, now crying on both Vikki and Bell with a new wave of pent-up tears unveiled.

"She was all about coming to her friends defense, wasn't she?" Sadie considered this and smiled. "It makes me think of you!"

Katie smiled back. "You think so? That's kinda where my thoughts were. Except, you know, the other way around."

Bell nodded, fighting to remove herself from Nina's clutches. "You know, I didn't think friends were capitalized on enough on the episodes! There were tons of great friends -stuff during the show that they never aired."

"True facts!" The younger teens agreed. "We'll get to that then… in our later segments. But right now, we need to move things along. We're under time restraint."

Katie looked at her card and gasped. "EEEEEEP! Here's a girl we were rooting for to win but had to change our votes over once she got voted off." Katie looked despairingly up at Sadie. "We were, like, so sad! Weren't we sad?!"

"Wait, we're going to have Kristina Colmer here?" Sadie saw the card and screamed. "EEEEEEP!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" The pair expressed themselves with their typical catchphrase, neglecting the audience and former contestants who were left clutching their ears.

"KRISTINA! GET OUT HERE ALREADY!" a multitude of people shouted out, desperate to end to screams.

On command, Kristina came speed-walking out. While she didn't really have a proper introduction, she still took the stage and sat down to end the Sadie/Katie combo squeals.

"Umm… hi." She gave a nervous wave, still as introverted as ever. Mandy rolled her eyes at the applause the girl got.

"So the 'Good Samaritan' was the favorite with the moron-twins hosting this stupidity?" Jade laughed and put her hands behind her head. "Yeah, somehow I'm not all that jealous."

"Knock it off, Jade," Bell shushed her. "It's great that she was so kind on the show. You could learn a thing or two from someone who cared so much about her career and the patients she had."

Jade snickered. "Yeah, it did her loads of good to be a sweetheart. She only got kicked off… what, before even getting to the final ten? And I'm sure Chris is just a _sucker_ for good girls."

Kristina's smile faltered and she looked away. She still retained some fresh emotional scars from leaving the show and still obviously had some feelings left for Chris. "Well, I don't have my job _anymore_."

"Hah!" Jade called out. "So much for being the 'good girl' I called you. I bet it was all for the cameras. Typical stunt to get some limelight. ' I work at a hospital for kids with cancer that's going to be taken down!' Psh, yeah right."

"Actually, one of the patients I was closest to… died."

Jade's stomach flipped and she leaned back, crossing her arms. "Huh, my damn… Sorry."

"It's… alright…" She looked down regrettably, ringing her hands. "It's just that I was so distraught from it all, I wasn't holding up so well at my job and I was let go."

"That's bullshit," Vikki muttered. Even Nina stopped crying for a moment to nod.

"I bet all the kids died when you left," Rachel mused. "Did the hospital have to pay for funeral coverage or is that on the insurance companies?"

"They didn't _die_," Kristina informed her, not looking pleased at the thought or mentioning of a mass-tragedy like that.

"So, like, what are you up to now?" Sadie asked, trying to hold back her tears. Not even she wanted to be associated for crying like Nina into Katie.

"Well, I model in Paris – the show's been great in that it got me noticed for a look some hot-shot designer over there wanted. I donate a lot to children's charities now, and even started up one for kids with autism. But even so, the more I do to help others, the more I think about Chris." Her eyes got a dreamy look in them and she nodded. "Yes, I love Chris more and more all the time. But he didn't want me, so all I can do is just hope he finds someone good for him. I'll always thank him for being my inspiration in this new path of life."

"Wow," Mandy muttered. "You've got to be one of the most un-selfish models I know. And this makes sense, since I think I saw you when I went over to Europe with Madonna to see a fashion show. I agree with her, though – the publicity from the show has made me an instant celebrity. It's great!"

Bell nodded. "And kinda weird. I think I have stalkers…"

"What's weird is that she likes Chris – _still_," Jade insisted with a roll of her eyes. "Some girls just can't take a hint."

"Hey – do you think you could show-up Leila a bit?" Bell leaned in to face Kristina, an idea whirling in her head. "Yeah – yeah you could show her people don't have to be complete jerks after they get dumped, like tormenting other people's friends or something."

Katie and Sadie regarded each other in confusion, wondering how things took such a… dark turn. They had thought being 'hostesses' would mean fun, fun, and well more fun. But it was all drama, fighting, and no fun… what a rip off.

"Let's just hurry this along," Katie whispered to Sadie. "And maybe we can get this over with and make it back home in time for that one hot-guys pool party."

"Neat-o!" Sadie whipped out her next cue card and hastily read the contents. "Alright our next dump-ee is… like… I dunno. Katie, how would _you_ describe her?"

"Weird?" her friend suggested.

Sadie nodded, applying that word to the girl. "Yeah, weird works well. Anyways, here's Sapphire Dawn Caligre!"

All murmurs and breaths caught in the backs of everyone's throats as Sapphire came out on stage and took a seat on the sofa. She smiled sweetly, not looking like she had a Demonic-Inner-Self. In fact, she seemed like an approachable stranger that would not only give you directions but probably hand over money so you could pay to fill your gas tank up for the trip. The audience exchanged looks – communicating with one another to figure out whether she was a 'good guy' or 'bad guy' in the house.

"She's violent," one woman in the audience says.

Sapphire nodded, and looked away with her face flushing. "Yeah," she admitted in a raw voice. "I kinda am."

"Oh, she's honest!" The same woman noted. "YAY!"

"YAY!" The audience cheered wildly as they liked to do, deciding honesty was more important than violent tendencies (or a love thereof). Everyone had dark thoughts of seeing people they were in competition against falling to their doom, but only the brave would talk about it on one of the most popular shows to grace the TV screen.

With a quick look around, Mandy pressed a dainty hand to her forehead. "Am I sick? Am I dead? Is this _really_ going down right now?"

"What can't you believe?" Vikki asked. "The part about Sapphire being a closet sadist, her getting to be a part of the show again and helping Chris with a mission, or the fact everyone likes her?"

"Or the fact she was a black belt?" Ulli asked. "Because that knocked the hell out of me… pun intended."

Mandy's head swirled and she squeezed her eyes shut. "All of it is messed up!"

"We were on a show vying for the affections of a warped sadist who's idea of fun was to mess with teens," Jade simply put it. "And then we're stuck on a freakish talk show hosted by Clueless-clones. What part of this _isn't_ messed up?"

Rachel jumped in her seat. "Oh, the part with the resort we went to after getting voted off!" She smiled warmly. "Yes… I liked that place…"

Sapphire just sat back and went into chill-mode. Her mellow attitude was enough to catch everyone's attention after a while. She sheepishly smiled. "Yes, I helped Chris with a mission. We're very close friends still. We get each other in a way. I think it'll be a while before I really get over him – as of now, I still wish I could be on the show…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"Nina balled. "Does that bastard text everyone BUT me?!"

"CENSOR PEOPLE!" Katie and Sadie shouted.

"I mean seriously!" Nina obliviously persevered onto a speech despite the angry looks of irritation rattling everyone's faces. "What the hell ("CENSOR PEOPLEEEEE!") did I ever fucking ("EEEP! CENSOR PEEEEEEEPS!") do to fucking ("SOMEONE CENSOR THIS! IT'S LIIIIIIIIVE ON PUBLIC TELEVISIOOOOOOOOOOOON!) deserve this damn ("OUR MOM'S WILL KILL US FOR NOT LEAVING THE ROOM LIKE LADIES!") shit ("EEEEEEP! MAKE IT STOP!")?!"

Katie and Sadie clasped hands over each other's ears, leaving Nina's pitying cries to be the only sound echoing in the room. The audience was torn, not knowing what was worth applauding: Katie and Sadie's pleas for censor people or Nina's rants. It was a fair draw, so they broke into random wild cheers to support both entertaining aspects of the current segment.

Jade looked at Sapphire. "What's wrong with these people? This is some screwed up sadistic audience."

Sapphire gave her a twisted smirk. "Hey, can you just poke Nina to see if she'll flip out again?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Oh, right… you're missing screws, too."

"End this madness already," Sadie pleaded to Katie. "Get the cue cards out and call the next girl."

Katie lifted and dropped her head in Sadie's hands and fumbled with the two cards left. She picked the one from the top off and read its contents once – twice – three times. Her face burned with sheer panic. "Oh dear."

"Oh gosh, what?"

Katie gulped and whimpered out, "Leila Claires –"

"YEAH! BRING THE BITCH OUT! REVEEEEEEEENGE!"

" – isn't going to be here."

"REVENGE REVENGE – wait, REWIND!"

"It's true!" Katie insisted. She flipped the card up to her eyes and read aloud, "Leila Claires will not be making an appearance on 'Mid-Show Reunion with Sadie and Katie' due to a mandatory stay on an upcoming _Challenges of Love_ episode. We apologize for any inconvenience and lost ratings we may have caused you. We also apologize for only having decaf coffee in the Staff Lounge." She flicked the card away. "And that's all."

With jaws dropping, gasps being exchanged, and frustration mounting – Bell clamored up away from Nina and away from the sofa. She rolled her sleeves up with a dark look, yanking her sleeves up in a show of fury. "This is just not gonna fly," she bit out before stalking off the stage to who-knows-where.

"That won't end well," Mandy snickered.

"Yeah," Sapphire nodded. "I hope they get that on tape."

"Ah, before everyone forgets what we're here for, we've got one more girl!" Sadie called out. "Kayla Anderson!" Sadie read from the cue card then scrunched her nose up. "Wait a minute, who's that?"

A slim red-head with flushed cheeks pounded her feet into the aisle as she mounted the stage. With a glare akin to the look royalty gave peasants, she hissed, "_Stormy Swift_." With a firm nod of her head she fled over to the back corner of the couch, flicked her book open and started to write away.

Sadie blinked. "Oops, I forgot."

"Me too," Katie comforted her. "Hey, Stormy, do you want to update us on your life?"

"No," she said curtly.

"Well, how about your feelings on Chris?" Sadie suggested. "Like – do you still have any?"

"None of your business."

"Well, how's your book coming?"

"_Books_ – and none of your business."

Katie bit her lip and Sadie tried again. "Are you going to mention or use your time on the show in your… erm, books?"

Stormy caught Jade's attention with brooding eyes. "Are they this nosy?"

"Yup. Well, worse."

Stormy sighed. "Just great. Kids like them are the reason I hated high school." Stormy considered what she said and pursed her lips, her pen still jotting down thoughts at lightning speed as she did so. "Actually, everyone in high school is why I hated high school."

"Girls, you don't have much time left," a friendly and irritated camera guy informed the teen hostesses. "Wrap things up, hmm?"

They nodded and smiled at the camera's sweetly. "Alright, you heard the man! The end's near for this brief reunion part one! Of course, the ladies on stage will all be back for part two with all the rest of the ladies! Now, let's get everyone's thoughts on who they support before we end things here, okay?"

"When we say your name, say who you support and why," Katie explained. She scanned the girls and poked a finger in Vikki's direction. "Vikki, we'll start with you!"

The rocker felt trapped. She had plenty of friends in the house and didn't really want any of her band's followers to be dissuaded from having their opinions. "I'll keep my mouth shut and say who I want to win in the next reunion. I don't want to change people's minds and stuff, y'know?"

"Totally," Sadie promised. "Well, anyone you really don't support?"

"Eh, everyone's got their plus and minuses, and I don't know anyone well enough to go one way or the other. It's whatever."

Sadie shrugged. "Sure… alright, um, Kristina! What about you?"

Kristina's eyes fell to her feet. "I… I'm supportive of whoever Chris picks, but I still can't bring myself to choose one girl over another."

Katie shook her head. "They still have broken hearts, maybe?" she whispered to Sadie.

"Who knows? But they're not very cooperative."

"Well, Jade! Thoughts, please?" Katie asked pleasantly.

Jade scraped a hand through her hair and smirked. "I gotta say, I only have any beef with Krissy. Everyone else is pretty ska in my book. I just didn't forget about the shit she tried to pull when we first met Chris, the paranoid snob."

"Oh, a semi-decent answer!" Sadie hugged Katie. "Nice pick! As for me, I think… Nina's next!"

Nina sniffed. "I guess… umm… Charlie. If I can't win, I want Charlie. Because she… she… she LOVED ME MORE THAN CHRIS EVER DID! If not her, I guess Lauren was nice, too. Or maybe Roxie – she was another nice one…. But I still wanna win…" her lip trembled and she burst into a fresh wave of emotional overdrive, surmounting in the form of sopping tears and broken sobs.

"Someone give this girl a tissue," Vikki said in a small, desperate voice.

"Later – sure, why not?" Sadie said. "But now we're on a roll! Katie, you're turn!"

"This is fun!" Katie clapped her hands together. "I want… Sapphire! What's your answer?"

"I," Sapphire said, "… don't really know…"

Katie's face fell. "Aw man, I thought she'd be chock full of opinion!"

"She's too honest to lie and have an opinion!" and audience member yelled, tacking on a supportive, "YAY!" shortly followed by a full-blown "Yay!" epidemic through the watchers.

Rachel twitched. "Is the audience saying everyone who has an opinion is a liar?"

"I don't _think_ so," Katie said, thinking it over. "Just that she's not going to say she has one when she doesn't."

"Oh," Rachel grinned. "Well in that case, I want to share my opinions! You see, who I reeeeeally know for a fact is going to win is –"

"Hey! We didn't point to you yet!" Sadie glared at her pointedly, her hands finding the perfect place on her hips to make her look threatening. "Just for that we're not going to ask you."

Rachel's face blanched. "Aw, man…"

"Stormy! I'm pointing to you though!" Sadie said. "Go for it! Share your thoughts with the world! Here's your chance! Say something… anything… please!"

Stormy paused and looked up, seeming more bothered than attention-struck. She nodded to herself, and announced her answer. "Lena should win, Krissy should lose. And no, I don't have to explain myself. Buy my autobiography for my opinions on things, fools." And just like that her concentration zapped back to her writing.

"That leaves Mandy and Ulli! You guys wanna –"

"Maddie," Mandy said without thought. "She's got great style. Everyone else can get a life."

"I liked me," Ulli said. "And that's about it…"

"Girls, wrap it up like NOW!" the cameraman ordered, his eyes leered on the clock in desperation. This place was driving him crazy.

"Right, so there you have it! The ladies came, talked, and what-not!" Sadie smiled and looked over at Katie. "Any catchy final words, fellow BFFFL hostess?"

"Umm… yeah!" Katie cleared her throat, smiled big and waved. "GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!"

The audience boomed with cheers and the ladies all awkwardly waved as the camera zoomed out, though even through the roar of everyone, Jade's microphone caught her final thoughts to pretty much sum everyone's thoughts up: "This place is full of freaks."

* * *

_**Sadie and Katie Vision (Sneak Peaks (Or Rather Random Dialogue from characters to make you wonder what's going to happen since you have no idea what anyone is talking about or whom they're talking about… haha); Chapter 19):**_

Roxie_: "Chris, this isn't fair to me! You're doing to me what he did. What makes you any different from him or any other jerk out there?"_

Tawni_: "I know a lot of people are freaked out right now, but I'm not one of those people. If one of their best friends was coming over, I think they'd be smiling too."_

Lauren_: "I had to make a choice. And since I had a guy like my ex instead of Chris as Option A, I had to choose Option B if I wanted to be happy."_

Katroina_: "She… has a kid?! I suppose that's the reason she didn't read my 'Wait Until Marriage' pamphlets."_

Dawn: _"If I'm not getting stereotyped, abused, or misjudged, then I'm guilty by association."_

Maddie: _"Chris keeping his promise is something I like. Chris twisting his promise around to accommodate everyone is something I don't like."_

Serenity: _"How come he seems to be getting farther in one night than I got so far this season?!"_

Lea: _"Lie… lie… lie… lie… lie… This is starting to get ridiculous now. I wonder if anyone's picking up on this besides me."_

Shelly_: "What can I say? The guy has really white teeth."_

Charlie: _"How is it that I can help countless people with their relationship problems but I'm a mess when it comes to my own?"_

_Al: "What's he so mad at me for? He's the one who's a complete sellout, the sellout."_

Lena: _"I thought this was Chris's show? How come everyone seems like they're the ones making calls on who they want to be with?"_

Krissy: _"This is it – my shot to take her out. I'm not about to pass it up. No way in hell."_

Chef: _"I think if I work with this guy, I can get something I've wanted since I signed my stupid contract..."_

_

* * *

_

**Sorry to anyone who knows/is/likes anyone who goes by Zach or the name. I myself have a friend named Zach who's quite the character. It was simply the first guy's name that came to mind when writing this. **

**Thanks to: my lovely readers, reviewers, peeps, the gifts of patience and forgiveness**

**Special thanks to: SSoF buddy (for the thoughtful threats/updating!), Blond with a Brain (I'll get back to you ASAP on your current mission – I looove brainstorming), 1000GreenSun (for changing your name back and being supportive and all that jazz), and RamenIsRad (thanks for the offer lol).**


	19. Ex Oh Ex Oh

**The Challenges of Love**

**19. Ex-Oh-Ex-Oh (Chris VS. Ex's Part I)**

* * *

**Random fun-fact? I freakin' love you guys *glomps***

**Coming out of deranged teenager mode, I tried to take my time with this and give everyone equal air-time. So please if anyone is OOC, let me know so you're not cringing as you read this and muttering obscenities under your breath. This is kinda short and is an intro chapter for what's to come. The ex's are kinda bigger than I thought they'd be. Hehe.**

**I do not in any way, shape, form, et cetera et cetera own Total Drama Island or any aspects, characters, spin-offs, mannerisms, et cetera et cetera from it. I also don't own Tetris.**

… **That's it up here :D**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson_

_-Ladies Left: 13_

* * *

The Network liked Chris Maclean almost as much as they hated him.

To say that they didn't bend and twist to meet the out-of-control host's wishes would be a lie. On the other hand, it would _also_ be a lie to say that they didn't draw the line at _some_ points. Sure it was common for this 'line' to be crossed (or completely obliterated), but the fact was that Chris did have barriers and couldn't always have his way. Take this entire show for example. So while Chris appears to be tugging all the strings, it's ultimately The Network that has the final pull.

But that doesn't mean Chris can't at least _try_ to call all the shots.

"Collin! How's life treatin' you, my man?"

Collin Johnston was one of the head-honcho's in The Network. He was also very much involved with keeping details like the girl's profiles (which didn't go over so well) and now the ex's from Chris's greedy eyes. He was also the same man to more medicine to ail headaches than it was healthy now. He felt he had to have an addiction to pain-killers if only to cope with Chris's constant badgering. For an adult, Chris was as impatient as a kid.

"Chris," Collin said in a low sigh, sounding strongly like Harold. "I'm thrilled to, ah, _discover_ that you have, um, _gotten into_ the show. The, ah, _viewers _appreciate the, um, _realism_." Chris scoffed – realism on reality television? That'd be the day. "But I simply can't, um, _let_ you see the, ah, profiles for the, um, _ex's_ that will be shortly appearing on your program. All I can say is, ah… that they'll be arriving around… ah, eleven this morning."

"But you let me see some of the girl's profiles! How's this any different? If anything, this is WAY more important."

"That won't _work_ on me again," was the quick, grumpy reply that the disgruntled boss snapped into the phone. The painful memories of the trouble his business partners had instilled on him made him regret every moment he spent trusting Chris. Curse that host and his good looks, suave moves, and smooth words! No wonder girls had issues with the host.

"Aren't you tricky," Chris said, chuckling dark and low. "Well I guess it was kinda a low blow there. And I mean, dude – you're only trying to do your job. I get that."

Collin felt a weight lift off of him. Was Chris really having an epiphany? It's possible. "R-really?"

"Yeah, man. Really. Which is why I'm just gonna back off. You do your thing, I'll do my own _muuuuch more awesome _thing."

"Wow Chris… I mean, wow. I'm so… ah, impressed with you! I never thought I'd, um, _hear this_ from you!" Collin laughed more jovially than he had ever before. "Well, I better get back to work than! What with all the reservations I need to make for the next challenges."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Well I'll be off than. Take care, bro!"

Collin was laughing into the receiver of his phone, "Yes, you, ah, take care as well, Chris!"

"Oh, oh wait up a second! Not to be a buzz-kill and make you do more work, but the Coop Man was giving me some crap earlier, the dirty bastard."

Collin had a smile that widened from ear to ear. Chris was badmouthing people to him? Chris NEVER talked about anything besides work to him! And now here Chris was telling him that Collin's business partner, George Cooper, was a lazy bastard! "Truer words have never, ah, been spoken," Collin agreed. He liked George, but Collin was obviously cool enough to talk for the host under contract and wasn't going to pass up the opportunity by being Mr. Nice Guy. "What a… um, dirty bastard. THE dirty bastard! THAT BASTARD!"

He liked swearing. It was quite new to him. Oh, the power of being cool.

"Err… yeah, man. What you said. Anyways, he's stopping by to check up on things and give me the guy's names so I can introduce them and all, and he left his profiles for the ex's at his desk. And he wants me to get them and give them to him – the lazy slob. Dude, can you pick up on _that_?" Collin nodded eagerly at Chris's exasperation. "Anyways, I don't know who else to go to but you, so could you, like, email the profiles to me so I can give them to him? I won't look – I _swear_." Collin sucked in a breath and Chris swiftly tacked on a safe sounding, "We're tight now, I wouldn't do that to you!"

"Yay – _bro_." Collin giggled like a mad school girl. He'd never said that before. "Okay… okay… done! I don't have the legitimate profiles on my desktop, but I got the names, pictures, and the girl's they go to! And they'll be, ah, _in_ your inbox in a few, um, moments."

Chris laughed. Success. "Alright thanks man. Peace."

"Yeah – yeah peace!" But the line was already dead before Chris ever heard it. Collin smiled merrily to himself. What a great day this was turning out to be!

"Johnston, can I get another look at the ex's list? I think I spelled one of the guy's names wrong. And I want to get them right for the website."

Collin went icy. Stiff as a board, he turned his head away from his email up to look at a very real George Cooper. "Er… George? Shouldn't you be… ah, going to Chris's mansion?"

George rubbed a meaty palm to his balding head, looking quite out of place. "Huh? Why the Horses' Blazes would I want to do that? I'm run networks, Johnston, not shows!"

Collin wanted to cry. He looked at his sent email, reached to his headache medicine, and swallowed everything in the bottle with a look of sheer misery on his face. George puffed his lips. "Can you kill yourself after you help me? I swear you're more and more selfish all the time. You're raise last week is really getting to your head, Johnston. All you need is good looks and few thousand more raises and you'll be Maclean."

Collin really did start to cry then. Evil, manipulative, cool Chris – _that dirty bastard_.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At Maclean Mansion, tensions were much looser. The girls, having a challenge and elimination two days prior, were expecting Chris to put off challenges for a while like he usually did. This being so, the cast of competing females were at ease and having fun with each other.

Who cared that they were hoping the same girls they were laughing with would lose, die, or suddenly go into comatose – for the moment, they were enjoying each other's company. That's what friend's fighting for the same guy are for, after all.

"Can you _believe_ it?" Serenity collapsed back onto the sofa beside Maddie, who was 'adding detail' to the pictures in Krissy's magazines with a thin market tip.

Tacking on a long mustache to a pretty woman posing for an ad for a new television show, Maddie looked up, her eyes half shut in contentment. "Maybe – run it by me and we'll see."

"That we're in the final thirteen," she said simply. Having been in the pool, she was struggling to dry herself and share her thoughts with the confused blonde next to her. "We made it so far! One more girl gone and we're half-way there. It's just awesome, you know?"

Maddie sat up and a new energy brightened her eyes face. "Hellz yeah!"

"You seem to be forgetting that one of you could wind up being the one to go home." The euphoria was knocked out of the two excited girls as Shelly swept in and took her flip flops from beside the screen door leading to the pool. Her sing-song voice and smile were enough to prove she was just joking, but the joke went unappreciated by a now fuming Serenity. She loomed over by the sofa and shrugged innocently at the dead, "Pessimist!" looks she was being shot.

"You might end up going home, too!" Serenity said accusingly.

Shelly laughed lightly. "Dude, chill. I was just messing with you. Don't be so high strung."

Serenity coiled her towel around her hair. "I'm not _trying_ to be. But I just want to think the best. It's like my mantra, you know? If I can get through this elimination… I'm closer to Chris. I just can't believe how much I care about him and I don't even want to imagine being the next one gone."

Maddie wrinkled her nose, reflecting on her own growing feelings for Chris. "Yeah, it's weird. I mean I was into his carefree attitude before. It's why I was all over this idea – he's just so, you know, himself and doesn't give a damn about what anyone thinks about it. Now that's hot."

"His chill 'tude got me, too," Shelly admitted. And his pearly, perfect teeth."

"Teeth?" Serenity laughed out into her towel. "You liked his teeth enough to audition for the show?"

Shelly shrugged again. "Among other things. But really…" she almost swooned at the thought of his contagious smile. "What can I say? The guy has really white teeth."

"Good morning, ladies!" Chris's voice sang out sweetly over the speakers. It was too tender to find any comfort in – things are usually topsy-turvy when it came to this guy. "I hope everyone enjoyed their breakfast –" the sounds of multiple gags filled the estate, " – I saw Chef work real hard on it. His blood and sweat went into it – literally!" The girl's stomachs dropped. "Hehe," he chuckled low and dark. "Juuust kidding!" Everyone felt their stomachs rise back into place. "… But not really. _ANY_ways, it's high-time we introduce some new faces, don't cha think? Same-old, same-old gets lame after a while. So everyone get yourselves together in the Sitting Room downstairs across from the Confessional and we'll shake things up. Maclean OUT." Pause, then… "Oh, and just to keep things amped and the energy high, get there, like, now. Okay? Hehe!" … and the speakers officially clicked off.

The same chilled shiver plunged down everyone's spine as they took in the notification. New faces? That could only mean…

**Krissy: **_**"More of Chris's ex's are going to show up, I bet. Really, how many girls does the guy need to tease before he realizes that his winner's right here?" The cameraman made a strange gurgling sound, like he was disgusted. The tips of Krissy's lips tucked into a frown. "NO you retard. I meant me, not you!"**_

**Al: **_**"New faces, eh?... I'm starting to get some vibes that Chris is into polygamy."**_

**Charlie: **_**"I swear, a vagabond could skip up to the front door, tell Chris they dated him, and waltz right into the competition. He seems to have dated so many girls it's more likely than him getting a conscience."**_

With heads held high and suspicions spiraling in their thoughts, the girls all marched to the first destination in what was looking to be quite a frustrating day. Once they had all taken up a seat on one of the many sofas styling the room around a gleaming crystalline coffee table, they collectively sighed. In all truth, the girls looked more like a procession of put-out and neglected concubines than possible love interests waiting for their love to show up and sweep them away for another 'exciting' challenge. All because of the disturbing words he left them to mull over.

That sadistic jerk. He was probably off smiling right now.

* * *

Chris was smiling at the moment.

He saw all the girls lounging a few rooms down from a hallway just a few steps away from the entrance hall. Allowing himself a moment to let their woes stimulate his mirth, Chris tucked his nifty travel-sized screen into his back pocket. With his back to the large staircase and his dark eyes on the eloquent doors before him, Chris was ready to start some _real_ drama.

At the realization that _he'd_ be personally involved in the drama and probably end up getting maimed somewhere down the line, Chris wondered if he was doing the right thing. Then he imagined these girls who confessed to him being anguished and he was really starting to press his head for a good reason to carry on this carnage. He tapped his head and laughed as he remembered that the ratings would sky rocket – people ate this up like nothing else! With a new resolve at heart, he flicked his screen out and tapped a few times to summon a familiar face before tucking it back into his pocket.

"The Codemiser! Up top, lady killer." Chris clapped Cody's hand in a high five as the 'master of all things female' made his entrance.

"Great to help out a brah in need. I know how those ladies can be." Cody said. Then he stiffened and turned away, whispering out a pained, "_Oh Gwen_…" and clutching something he had tucked away in a bag he had slung around his shoulder.

"Hey man, can you stop doing whatever it is your doing? That face is kind of creepy."

Cody's face burned and he flipped around, a glint in his eyes. "Hey, hey! Is Gwen gonna be helping me out with the 'Ex's Mixer' you wanna host? Because I _really_ hope it's Gwen. And I know you'd hook a brother up no sweat."

Chris's eyes evened. "Cody, you are _sooo_ not my brother. And I don't hook people up, I'm the hook-up, I get the perks, man. Besides, Lady Dark and Tortured already… heh, _helped_ _out_ with a challenge. You're just shit out of luck on this show too, kid."

Cody dropped his head. "Aw man. Teenage romance sucks! I guess I just gotta pursue older, more mature women…"

A flashback of a sweating Ulli had Chris cringing. "Nah, you don't want to go up that alley… it's not pretty. And the odors are _unbearable_."

Cody arched a brow in confusion. "Ah, okay…?"

Chris shook the image out of his head and clapped a hand onto his former contestant's back. "Anyways, you're only job is to go play fetch. Pretty simple: I say a name, you bring them to me, show them to a good spot on the stairs over there when I give the say-so. Got it?"

Cody scratched his arm. "I dunno, that sounds lame. I mean, isn't there some _cooler_ mission I could help out with? One with more ahk-shuuun? I could totally handle it, man. I'm up for some excitement!"

"You want excitement? Drop some hairdryers in the bathtub, and leap in after. That'd be pretty _shocking_. Ehehehe." Cody scoffed and muttered something about crappy puns. "Riiiight then. Go get dude number one!"

Feeling undermined, Cody stuck his nose with all the dignity he had (or thought he had) as he swung open the front door. A line of cars were all parked out front, each holding back a bit of history that would really get the girls head's spinning, Chris was sure of it. At the sight of an open door, the first car unlocked its doors at released its captive male.

"Thank the freakin' lord I got outta _that_ dump," was the first bit of intellectual thinking shared with the world from the first ex to take the scene. "Really, what decent limo-bar _doesn't_ have _Raspberry Burst Smirnoff_?" And that would be intellectual comment two of the evening.

"Smirnoff…?" Cody wondered.

Chris laughed heartily. "Alcohol, my naïve underdog. Strong stuff, pleasing results when used properly."

The newcomer's head jerked at the sound of Chris, his single hoop earring clattering against his skin. He ran a hand through his locks to keep his white-blonde hair spiked to perfection before taking powerful strides up into the Maclean Mansion.

"Patrick! Welcome to the par-tay, dude!" Chris brought a hand up, awaiting a high-five.

Acidic green eyes sucked Chris's image in, and the host felt a bit awkward and he let his hand sink down. Without warning, Patrick had his hands cupped around his. "Glad to be here. I've always wanted to have a party with you…" then, leaning in carefully, Patrick added in a hush voice, "… _a party with you in my pants_."

Chris blinked slowly. "Oh… kay… Hey, man, personal bubble was just popped so you know… back off." Patrick tried to flutter his eyes in what he thought to be a coy manner. "Really. Off." More fluttering. "Ewe… this is just wrong now. Cody, get Serenity!"

Cody smiled innocently, honestly oblivious to the problem with getting love on a show for love. "But Chris, he looks so happy! I couldn't possibly – GAAAH!" At the dirty glare he was sent from a ticked off sadist (never a good thing) Cody had shot off down the hall and had thrown himself into the Sitting Room. Upon seeing him, eyes snapped wide open.

"Cody!" the girl's who recognized him called out.

**Tawni: **_**"I wanted Cody to win TDI so bad. That guy's awesome! And tough – how many people get mauled like a bear like that and live to tell the tale?!"**_

Before questions could be asked, Cody bellowed out, "SERENITY! Which one is she?!" Upon seeing a dark-haired girl wave slightly, he motioned for her to follow and rocketed away. Serenity sighed and shrugged. "Wish me luck, guys," she said as she took off, shutting the door behind her.

When she reached the entrance hall, she wished she _didn't_ follow.

She walked in and got to see her ex-boyfriend, Patrick, rubbing Chris's hands with his own, whispering out sweet-nothings that made Chris look more suicidal than any person should look. Ignoring how the host actually looked, Serenity felt quite cheated out indeed.

**Serenity: **_**"So, it looks like the 'new faces' are the ex's. And speaking of ex, my ex boyfriend is currently flirting with Chris. Like hardcore flirting." She waves her arms around desperately. "How come he seems to be getting farther in one night than I got so far this season?!"**_

Chris caught Serenity fuming nearby and he smiled wider than ever. "Serenity!" Hearing the name, Patrick flew back and gave the girl a look-over. Deciding she wasn't worth his time, Patrick attempted to cling back onto his new man candy. Chris, not having it, side-stepped and smirked at the sound of a body tripping and crashing into the floor in a moment of true grace. Chris walked over to Serenity and leaned in looking skeptical. "I gotta know… is this guy here _really_ your ex, or some… friend?"

Serenity nodded solemnly, almost ashamed at what she was going to admit to. "Yup. He was with me alright."

Chris looked her over the same way Patrick had, and he nodded slowly. "You were desperate, weren't cha?" Serenity gave him a hard look and he smirked. "Hey, I'm just saying… I think it's obvious that he doesn't _swing_ your way."

"Yeah, so everyone keeps reminding me…" she said, scowling.

Chris saw Patrick getting up and he slapped on a – dare he say – panicked smile. "Well, you two former-lover birds go get cozy and reacquainted in the stairs over there, kay? Just stand and don't move or jump me or anything and then I'll introduce the plans for later."

"Wait, plans later? What plans later?!" Serenity wondered as Chris shoved her onto her spot with Patrick on the staircase.

As Chris tried to pretend he didn't hear the question, Patrick whispered out his yet another piece of intellectual thought. "If you have plans to take me later, change 'em and take me now you _bad, bad_ boy."

**Serenity: **_**"The worst part of this all is? HE left ME. In my defense, he wasn't always this… well… I mean… he wasn't always like he is now."**_

**Patrick: **_**"Chris said the ex's are allowed to use the confessional. It's great, because now I have a perfect place to vent my newly building sexual frustrations for the Greek God. Oh, he'll forget what girl's are by the end of tonight. Oh… I'll make him want me… and let him have me… God, I want that man!"**_

Cody stood on the sidelines, still very petrified by what just went down. It wasn't the guy on guy action that had him quaking… it was the suggestive 'I'm molesting you with my EYES' look Patrick was still giving Chris now that the host had his back turned to him. Serenity, noticing it too, scooted away. The pair was obviously very distant with each other, and with seemingly good reason.

"Er, Chris, ready to get going again…?" Cody asked, poking the host who almost fell over.

"Yeah… just give me a minute to… remember a woman's touch… okay… okay… and I'm back!" Chris leaned into the camera, cupping his hand around his mouth. "I think Chef has a man-crush on yours truly, hehe. It was good practice for whatever just happened." Straightening himself out, he checked his reflection in a nearby mirror and waved Cody to the door. "Who's up next?"

Cody, feeling defeated and scared, opened the door without moping about his lame job status.

After a moment of waiting, a manly-man walked in. He had a bright smile (if his teeth were just a few fractions whiter, he'd have Chris's brilliant whiteness). He had dark hair, light eyes, and seemed pretty laid-back. Chris had a feeling this guy was going to be more bearable to hang out with than Guy One.

Chris put his hand up for a high-five, determined to get one this time. "Yo, Brad! Welcome to the crib!"

Brad slapped his hand to Chris's, and offered a friendly smile. "Great to be here, Chris! Do I get a tour or anything?"

Chris laughed. "Maybe another time. I'm going to send everyone outta here after we all get together and what-not. I guess if you're lady can keep herself together until later, why not?"

"That's great to hear," Brad said. "'Cuz I've always wanted to see you and me in _your_ bedroom."

Crickets. Then…

"I'm going, I'm going," Cody said as Chris tried to process the fact he just got hit on… again. And so bluntly, too. For having as much practice neglecting come-on's that he claimed to have from Chef, he wasn't looking so confident anymore.

Cody slipped on a smile and entered the Sitting Room looking like a million bucks this time 'round. No point rushing when there were ladies to meet in greet. Fine, beautiful, (technically) single ladies. "Hey doll faces, wanna compete for a _real_ man?"

He was expecting swoons, but got quite a different reaction. Everyone was giving him the 'awe… how adorable!' look. With a defeated sigh, he scanned the room. "So, anyone here dating a Brad?"

"I am!" Shelly piped up, standing tall and walking away from Tawni, whom she was chilling out with. "Err, I mean I _was_. Before I came home and saw him in bed with another guy."

"Whoa, you're ex is gay?" Maddie questioned. "That sucks."

**Maddie: **_**"I bet he was hot. Only real hot guys would make you ignore obvious signs that they don't like you like that. Can't say I blame her if he is."**_

**Al: **_**"I've seen that in movies and shows and stuff before, but never in real life." She pauses and taps her chin in thought. "Wait, is he gay or bi…? I guess if he's bi it's not **_**that**_** strange…" **_

"So wait a second," Katroina said. "Are our ex's here?" Panic rising to new levels, everyone looked over pleadingly at Cody for a straight answer. Instead, Cody took Shelly's wrist and ditched the scene.

"Here you are!" Cody announced merrily, pushing Shelly softly to an antsy looking Chris and Brad, who was successfully hitting on the host and enjoying the array of surpassed emotions and obviously pained reactions. Upon seeing his ex, Brad stopped talking and looked to Shelly with a strike of hurt paining his face. "Shelly…"

"Chris, what's going on?" Shelly asked, ignoring her ex.

"Lover Boy was laying the moves down on me is what," was Chris's bitter reply. He caught on to the fact she was confused why her ex was here, and he nodded. "Ohhhh… that. Yes, well, I'll tell you later. Right now, just go to your spot on the stairs next to Serenity and Patrick!"

Serenity twitched. She didn't like being associated with Patrick – even on steps. She smiled a bit at Shelly, glad she at least had some company now besides the perverted ex. Brad seemed cool enough, shaking her hand and trying to shake Patrick. Patrick however gave him a glare and turned away snottily.

**Patrick: **_**"That boy was hitting on Chris? Does he not that I already have plans to get up all over that? He better step off or it's on."**_

**Brad: **_**"I'm hoping the rest of the girls are as awesome as Serenity seems… and the ex's aren't as big of douche bags as Patrick. The guy won't even look at me! What, I'm not good enough to talk to the guy with an Eureka Seven cast on his shirt? Whatever. I just wish Shelly would give me a chance to explain myself. Things ended badly between us, and now I get the chance she STILL won't give me the time of day."**_

**Shelly: **_**"Brad's cool, but I can't get over what he did to me. Every time I see him, I picture walking in on him… and a guy… in my bed." She shudders. "That's some serious post-traumatic shenanigans right there."**_

"Cody, bring in the next guy. Let's hope he's not so sketchy, or I'll have to call up Tila **[1]** for some advice on where my show's supposed to go from here. Not that I mind doing that or anything…"

Cody opened the door and let in a tower of man. He had stormy features of cropped black hair set over cloudy eyes and a dark outfit. His tight black beater showed off some strange tattoo inked between his shoulder blades. He wasn't the most muscular guy in the world, but his height and fierce eyes made him look like someone you wanted on your side in a fight.

"Lawrence! Good to see you could make it!" Chris said, giving the guy a nod as a greeting. "I heard-say from the big guys at the Network that when they called to see if you could make it, some chick answered the phone and blew a fuse as soon as Dawn's name was mentioned. What gives?"

"Chris, man, call me Ren. Lawrence just doesn't fit me right." Obviously not camera-shy, the new guy smiled at the camera closest as he said the message.

Not one to share the spotlight, Chris cleared his throat. "So, crazy chick-friend on phone, explain that one."

Ren shrugged. "Nothing to explain."

"Safely played. Cody, go get Dawn here. She's busty, and the only one wearing specs – you can't miss her."

"Oh, I got this!" Cody skipped off at the sound of getting a 'busty' girl. Gee, he couldn't believe he _didn't_ want this job before! Maybe he could get his own show… and get all these girls to fight for him… oh, that'd be spectacular. Talk about dreams come true.

Cody came in, trying to look sultry for the second time. He tried to look around the room and spot out Dawn. That'd impress her if he could guess her, right? He saw a hot little thing closest to him and leaned in lecherously, slyly smirking and making the 'bang' signal with his fingers. "Hey, where are your glasses?" His victim opened her mouth slightly and he continued, "I just think you should wear them to see the Codemister clear – that way I'll turn out right in your dreams."

"Actually, I don't wear glasses."

"Oh? But Chris said –"

" – that I wear glasses?"

"Well, yeah…"

Cody swayed at her sigh, as her hazel-flecked chocolate eyes stared out the window in boredom. She was such a natural beauty, and he couldn't help but hope she lost… and joined his show. "I think you're looking for Dawn, not me."

Cody paled. "You're not Dawn? But you have a pretty nice chest, and he said she was busty!"

"He _what_?" Cody reeled over to the sharp voice and his eyes bulged. And he thought Lindsay was well endowed – _what did this girl's mother feed her_? How could he MISS that?

"Heeeey, beauty! I –"

He stopped at the detached look she had. She got up and maturely walked out to the entrance, where she kept seeing people dart before the door could shut all the way each time. Cody traveled behind her, trying to think up good ways to cheer her up on her without hitting a nerve. Why he was lost to why she was looking so upset, she knew very well what made her feel so down.

It was just a bit disturbing that his way of separating her from the other girl's was the fact she had big boobs. That and her glasses. She huffed. While she knew there was _something_ deeper there, his denial and vanity were irking in pursuing it.

As she came in, she saw Chris and his dazzling smile and her heart quickened. He caught her and smirked at her from the corner of his eyes, those dark eyes crinkling ever-so slightly at the gesture. She couldn't get past it, how much a smile did to her. It made it all worth it, every time.

"Hey, Chris," she said a bit breathlessly. Then she tried not to look embarrassed at how immature she sounded. Like a school girl with a crush, it was pathetic. Trying to look at anything but the way his lips looked when he laughed, she diverted her attention to the guy with the far-away look in his eyes next to Chris.

Her quick heart stopped.

"Dawn," Ren said slowly, though he thought he said it too fast. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Dawn, hey. What's… How are you?"

"Hi, Ren." Dawn said carefully back, controlling the sour memories she felt for him. She was above grudges and bitter feelings, she wouldn't let this break her down. No matter how fresh the breakup seemed now that he was so close again. How long had it been since she saw him this close? "I'm fine, you know. And you?"

"I miss you," he wanted to say, but gave her a desperate look instead. He tried to man up and just nodded stiffly. "I… I could be worse, but… I _could_ be better," he said, his eyes sparkling in want.

Chris scoffed. Why was Dawn getting all nervous for? He didn't like this. "Hate to break up this love fest kids, but there's a spot for you on the stairs next to girl's who are over there ex's… and obviously vice-versa."

Dawn's eyes grew wider than her glasses. "Wait, Chris – I'm over –"

"Save it for the camera's later. While I'm sure whatever you have to say will bring wicked ratings, I got things to do," the jealous host bit out. He watched with a heavy eye as the pair stood on their spot on the steps, and glared a bit fiercer as this Ren character kept his eyes on Dawn. This guy had entered his home, stole some of his spotlight, and was making his girl uncomfortable? This was so uncalled for –

Wait, _his_ girl?

"Hi!" Chris was surprised to see Cody greeting the next guy, high-fiving this unfamiliar fellow like it was nothing. "Bro, I feel for ya – this is caaa-raaaay-zy right herr."

"Coooody," Chris hissed, fists tight. "I don't remember telling you to bring the next guy in!"

"Really? Huh, thought you did…"

Chris face palmed. "Whatever, just get the girl in here."

"She'd be… who?"

"Katroina."

Cody nodded and slipped away, leaving the new guy to stumble in. Chris took in this guy and let loose a laugh. The guy looked like Harold all-grown up. He was shorter than Chris (what a feat that was) and had a splay of freckles coloring his pale skin. He had dark curls for hair and large glasses to match his nerdy getup of a blue polo and olive slacks. He was pretty sure this guy wouldn't sweep in and make any girl here melt.

"Hi, Chris," the nerdy newcomer said civilly, holding his hand out to shake. "My name's Alix, and I'd like to thank you for the invitation. I haven't seen Katroina in a while, and school's been unbearable without her. I'm the only one who answers any questions in the classes we had together anymore." Alix waved to the rest of the group on the stairs, being friendly. The guys all stifled laughs – he had bookworm written all over him. Definitely the kid they saw get stuffed in lockers back in high school.

"Hmm, yeah, the trials of being a nerd and all that. But no problem! Welcome to my abode!" Chris shook Alix's hand, his teeth burning Alix's eyes with the intensity of the whiteness.

"Alix!" Katroina ran up to her friend and hugged him, giving him a peck on his cheek. "I missed you so much!"

"Me too," he said. "I was just telling Chris that school isn't the same without you."

"He goes to Harvard, too?" Dawn asked, speaking a bit out of turn. "Impressive."

Katroina nodded. "Yeah, he's a smart one alright." She whispered to Alix, "I'm trying to convince Dawn to apply. She's got the brains and talent to get far there, I think."

Alix's face flushed as he looked up at Dawn, who was still looking a bit nerve-wracked from being so near Ren. She waved a bit when she saw him looking at her, and tried to look friendly. He coughed and looked away, getting weak knees.

"To the stairs, people. Chop, chop." Chris nudged the nerd to the steps and he toppled over, and would've brought Katroina down with him if Chris hadn't got a firm hand around her wrist and swung her into him. "Sick, dude. Just do that a lot more and this'll be a way cool episode." Katroina thanked him and helped up Alix, and they went beside Dawn and Ren.

**Katroina: **_**"I'll have to talk to Chris about the way he treated Alix. That was a bit uncalled for, if you ask me. Bullying isn't right, period."**_

**Alix: **_**He nudged his glasses up. "I'm doubtful Katroina can change this guy like she told me when she auditioned, but I'll try to get to know him mano-y-mano and see how it goes. All I can do is give her my honest opinion and watch her back."**_

Cody was at the door, playing with his toes. He was starting to get bored and jealous. Yes, very jealous. When he wasn't daydreaming about his own 'Love' show or brainstorming titles for it, or messing with his bag's zipper, he was sighing at the pretty girls who all (strangely) seemed to be here for Chris.

Chris was right – no matter what the show, Cody just couldn't win, could he?

"Kay Cody, let the next gent in." Cody flung the door back and watched with waiting eyes, as did everyone else. Coming in was a guy who was taller than even Dawn's ex, Ren. He was truly a tower as he loomed in the doorway, looking like a misunderstood hot mess. He had deep dirty-blond hair that shaped his square jaw and clashed against the mysterious gleam in his big blue eyes. He was not only the tallest guy there, but the brawniest.

"Wow, dude, how many roids do you take a day?" Chris wondered aloud.

The guest narrowed his eyes and struggled to smile. "Haha, he said in an obviously forced laugh, struggling his damnest to sound cheerful and happy to be there. "That was funny, Chris."

"Of course it was, it's because I wanted it to be," Chris said simply with a '_ping_!' of a smile in place. "Now, you must be Daniel if your face matches your pic, and it does. Guess that means we should go fetch you're ex girlfriend, then. Cody, bring Lea here!"

The brawny man, now dubbed Daniel, was clutching his hands tight to together and putting as much pressure as he could on his heels to keep from bashing that Piñata of a host apart. The way Chris talked about Lea, the girl he still yearned for, like she was a _thing_ to be called upon whenever he felt like pissed him off. If Lea was a thing, she was Daniel's thing, not this Chris-guys. He owned Lea, no one else. And if he had to smack some sense into this loser, he'd be more than happy to do it…

… When no one else was around.

Until then, a false bravado would be worn at all times. No need getting filmed murdering a man. It'd make taking his precious Lea back home with him that much harder.

Lea came in, staring at the ground and nodding to whatever Cody was trying to tell her. When Daniel caught he arm draped around her shoulders, the switch flickered – oh the restraint he was using to not kill _that_ kid now.

Daniel bowed slightly to his love. "Lea, it's good to see you again."

Lea met his eyes. Ever so proper and mannered, Lea gave him a slight nod. "Hello, Daniel." She was giving him a look of disinterest – whatever business she had with him she obviously took care of, that's all there was to it. She didn't seem to feel that way about Chris. The way she looked over at him and her eyes bloomed into doe-eyes that seemed so entrapped in his just standing there – if she didn't look away at something as she always seemed to do, Daniel would've flipped right then and there.

"You guys can go to the stairs," Cody said delightfully, trying to give himself another job to do. As he went to help Lea up the steps, Daniel swept in and took his mighty hand over hers. "It's alright, I have her. Let me help you to your spot, please."

"Thank you," Lea said, more out of politeness than anything. Daniel held back a hiss – once he got her with him, he'd teach her a thing or two about treating him with interest and respect.

"So we've got quite a group forming here, but we still need eight more ex-couples to take the stairs! Cody, go op-"

A guitar case flung through the window, cutting off Chris's next words. In a moment that glass could scar his face made for magazine covers, Chris yanked Cody in front of him and hid. Though the window was far enough away to only send shards across the floor to the staircase, it was enough for Cody to squeeze his eyes shut, tense up, and _almost_ wet his pants. Everyone on the steps stared with wide eyes. The event taking place so fast that no one saw it coming… except for Lea, who decided it would be useless to panic everyone.

"What," Chris breathed out, tossing a shaky Cody aside, "the hell was _that_?"

A Scene-looking guy hopped through the broken window no sweat, got his guitar and bustled over. He was sending 'bad boy' signals with his roguish looks: dark messy hair, bright eyes, pale skin. On the other hand, his snakebite lip rings, skinny jeans, purple zip-up and – Chris laughed – checkerboard Vans made him out to be a total punk ready to go scream about his angsty feelings on stage. In other words, this chump was a lead singer in a band from the looks of it.

"'Sup people?" the rocker asked, standing on the glass like it was no big deal. Chris gave him a pained look, motioning between his face and the broken window. The noobie shrugged. "My bad, it's not like I had any choice. I had to make an entrance, y'know how it is. Gotta look my best next to a true Pretty Boy like you."

"Hey, I'm more than just a pretty face, Andy." Chris said, humor in his voice. He was starting to like this kid. "Oh, by the way – everyone, Andy. Andy, everyone."

**Shelly: **_**"Ladies and gents, this is a bromance in the making if I ever saw one."**_

**Patrick: **_**"Hmm… that guy looks tasty. I've always had a thing for guys in tight pants. Maybe he can get in on some Chris action… after I had the host first." He winks.**_

**Camera Person # 3 Who Helps Operate the Confessional Camera: **_**"I sooo don't get paid enough to listen to this crap all day."**_

"So, where's Al?" Andy asked bitterly, looking around for said girl.

"Chillin' ways away. Hey Cody, go fetch." Cody grimaced and stalked off, muttering about the horrors of signing contracts. "Seriously man, you look ticked. What, bad break-up?"

"The_ worst_ break-up."

"Excellent!" Andy looked confused at the pleased reaction. While he didn't seem pleased that he was suffering to make Chris smile, he seemed to chill out at the thought that it might provide good TV, thus good promotional time for him and (ultimately) his band back home.

**Andy: **_**"This guy is like… heartless! He only cares about the camera's and himself." He grinned. "How freakin' awesome is that?!"**_

Cody came in with Al, obviously trying harder than ever to lay down the moves ("So… I'm planning on having my own Love show soon. It's not really official _per se_, but you should totally be on it."). He didn't seem to notice that Al didn't know what he was saying – or that he was saying anything – since she was too busy swaying over to the beats she was listening to. "Hey guys," she said when she saw Chris and everyone else. She looked over at Andy and her eyes blazed.

"Hey Al," Andy greeted. "Can't believe you made it this far. I thought you would've pussied out by now. Kinda like you did with us."

Al, embarrassed to be treated like this in front of Chris and the other girls (and people she didn't know), and decided to go straight into Defensive-Bitch Mode. "Hey, Andy," she said, and struggled to try and think of a good insult back. Sometimes being 'nice' had its drawbacks. "Has your band done any better since mine has been hiatus since I'm here? Or are you _still_ stuck singing for tween parties?"

"Haha, aren't you clever. I bet it took a week for you to think up that one."

"Save your breath, Andy. You'll need it to blow up your _date_ tonight. **[2]**"

"At least I'll get _somewhere_ with my date. I doubt you can even hit first base with this guy – with or without the competition."

"_Oh_, _you'd_ – "

"_Whoa_, people! Save this for later! It'll be much, _much_ better later." Chris promised. He was new to this angry-side of the chill Al and didn't want to see any great action go down now or her so upset. Chris blanched. _He didn't want to see her upset_? Would he _ever_ get used to this whole 'proper relationship' thing?

Cody took the two enraged adults and tried to put them together. They just started hissing insults at each other, so he decided to place Al on one side of the steps in front of Daniel and Lea, and put Andy on the opposite side in front of Serenity and Patrick. They were reduced to glaring at each other, and the world was at peace for now.

**Al: **_**She blares angry rock music. "This is 'From First to Last' playing right now," she said, pointing to her iPod. "Only they can seem to fit my mood."**_

**Andy: **_**He flips his hair and tries to look girly, pretending to play with an iPod. "Ooooh look at me! I'm AL! And I'm soooo cool with my iPod!" He slowly frowns. "Crap, she IS cool with her iPod. Doesn't mean I hate her any less!"**_

Chris stared forlornly down at where his window pieces were. "Man, I _really_ liked that glass. Always had such a nice _shine_ to it. It seems like just five minutes ago it was all together. Someone's gonna _pay_ for this."

"What can't Andy pay for it?" Cody asked, coming up to Chris. "It would make sense."

"Dude, I can't, he's a bro now. He said I was pretty." Chris pouted. Maybe he could use 'Chef's paycheck' to fix the damage. Sure he could afford it, but when Chris Maclean changes one thing in his house… he likes to completely remodel. This way, he _couldn't_ get carried away, right?

"Cody, run to the door and make sure Lucky Number Seven doesn't take out anymore windows. Or you'll die."

Cody sprinted to the door, wondering, "WHY ME?!" He was a victim! And why did other people breaking windows have anything to do with him?! It made no sense!

"USE THE DOOR!" Cody shouted like a wild man, into the unsuspecting face of the next ex.

He stepped in, giving the panicked teen a once over. "Dude," he said, "you look like hell."

Cody considered this. "Surprisingly, I hear that a lot."

"And it's Berko Napalm! Dude, I've been waiting for you to show. That last name is completely kickass." Chris high-fived Berko, smiling fiendishly. He looked like a hardcore partier, even more than Andy had. He had wide feral bloodshot eyes, a piercing on the brow above his right one and his left nostril rocking a metal piercing. He was obviously part Hispanic, having a wave of brown hair tangled over his tan skin. He also seemed to think checker-style was in, and had black-and-purple patterned hoodie.

His black bandana tied around his knee made some people think 'gang member' and others (namely Alix) think 'Humans VS Zombies.'

"Great to meet you, Chris my man," Berko said. "And check out this shindig. You're really pimpin' here. You got the babes, the money, the fame, the fans, the looks – damn, all you need is to be on a boat and you're life's ska."

"Speaking of boats," Chris said, not acting a bit modest, "I own quite a few." He coughed, slipping in words like 'yachts' and 'cruise lines' between the gasps for air. Berko was quite impressed.

Berko looked around and noticed hot girls. He put that in the back of his mind for later, and decided to switch gears. "So, where's the tease?"

"Come again?" Chris asked.

"The tease. My ex. The freak-show. Madina."

"Oh, Maddie! Cody, go fetch!"

Cody looked at the camera, ignoring Chris. "I don't know where the confessional is, so I'm just going to rant right here. Chris is being such a jerk! I come here to help him because of my stupid contract, and all he does is insult me. I mean, I'm not one to throw judgments around, but when you're that bossy it's usually fair to assume that you weren't loved as a child – OH!"

Cody felt a mini hair-gel smack his head, giving him a red eye. He looked over with his good one at Chris, who was whistling innocently. "Not me," he said innocently. "Now, weren't you doing something?"

Cody grumbled and stalked off, more determined than ever to get the next girl on board with his show idea. If not for him, than for revenge against Chris.

Berko sighed. "Yeah, my ex wasn't at all what I thought she was. She totally flipped on me when we started dating. It sucks, but I won't let anyone get played on TV. I got your back, Chris."

Chris considered this. He wasn't sure how what was going on and was smart enough to know that ex's do lie. For the sake of getting this Berko guy's trust, Chris smiled. "Thanks, man. That'd be great."

Maddie came in, playing more along with Cody than the other girl's had dared to. ("I think your show should be called "The Challenges of Love _Two_. Catchy, right?" A suggestion to which they both laughed at.)

Andy's mouth went dry. "Who's that?" He asked Serenity. She gave him a weird look and said, "Duh, Maddie." He nodded, saying, "Oh," to himself. Al arched a brow at him, not liking the way he was looking at her friend.

"Hey, Maddie! You're ex is quite a guy," Chris said as she sauntered in. She bit her lip, glared, and turned away, heading right for the steps next to Andy.

"I want him over there," Maddie said, sounding not-so-pleased. "Away from me, thanks."

Berko snorted. "Fine by me. The longer I'm near you, the more I support abortion rights."

Maddie gave him a sour look as he stood by Al, who wasn't thrilled to be near the guy. When he saw Al, he leaned in to start up conversation, but she just turned her music up and stepped closer to Lea. On the other side, Andy was licking his lips slow as Maddie scowled, looking like she wanted to go on a slapping rampage. She looked dangerous… and really, _really_ hot.

"So now we got seven down, six to go. Let's bring in the next ex – "

Krissy stormed into the entrance hall, clearly unannounced. Cody got up to try and send her back but she just shot a palm in his face and sent him flying into a cameraperson. "CC," she growled venomously, her eyes flaming with rage. "I should've been the first one out here. Why the hell am I still waiting? Huh? WHY?!"

"Eeeasy, KK, easy. There's a good reason you haven't been called in yet."

She crossed her arms. "Oh, yeah? Well, like, what's the reason?"

He smiled. "Because I haven't told Cody to!"

Krissy gnashed her teeth down and was ready to explain to Chris why that was a bad idea, when a knock was heard at the door. Cody broke up the warning signs for a fight and opened the door to reveal a pretty decent sized guy who looked like he popped out of an old Army movie. He had buzz cut hair, defined muscles, and a puppy face that showed devote loyalty as he came in, heading straight to Krissy.

"Moe," he breathed out, giving the girl a bear hug. Krissy smiled and hugged back. "Dom! Holy hell, I'm glad it was you they got and not the guy I dated for thirteen minutes. That would've sucked!"

The girls looked at each other in confusion. That guy seemed like a nice guy. What was he doing with Krissy?

Dom put a hand out and shook Chris's. "Dominic Henry's the name, Chris. But everyone calls me Dom." He looked up at everyone and waved. "Hi, everyone! Name's Dom if you missed it."

"Hello, Dom," Lea answered back, the only one who had her wit in this surprise situation to do so.

"So, Chris," Dom started. "You been treating Moe right? Better yet, has she been acting all right?"

Krissy rolled her eyes. "Dom, don't start with me."

"What? I was just –"

" – Trying to control me." Krissy finished for him with a snap of her fingers. "Listen, I'm not your bitch anymore, okay? You gotta stop telling me what I can and can't do! God, are you an ass or what?" Krissy threw her hands up and sashayed over to the steps, standing high-and-mighty besides Maddie, who was still confused. Dom sighed and stood dejectedly beside her.

**Maddie: **_**"How much money did she pay this guy to come here and act? Seriously!"**_

**Dom: **_**He looks ashamed, his head hung low. "Ah man, I didn't mean to seem controlling, I just know she can make poor decisions. Does that make me judgmental? I feel horrible. And I never once thought of her as my… my… b-i-t-c-h. That's just degrading!"**_

Chris blinked. "That was… weird. Heh, reminds me of my mom and dad. Hehehe… oh, the memories! But forget them, we got reservations we need to keep with. And Cody, I need you to bring in the next guy!" Chris looked around, puffing out his lower lip. "_Heeeeey_, hold up." He darted his eyes to around the faces on the steps. "Alright, who dun it? Which psycho ex boyfriend stole my nerd?"

* * *

"And my show? Yeah, I got a lot of crazy-cool ideas," Cody told the ladies left, trying to look hard-to-get as he leaned into them. "I was thinking 'Cody Goes for Cougars.' So, you know, I could pursue you old thangs and it'd be all okay and stuff."

Lena raised a hand. "Yeeeees?" Cody said. She dropped the hand. "I was just wondering, I mean we're not that much older than you. Would it make much sense to call us Cougars?"

Cody paled. "Ahahaha… umm… well… yeah… Did I say 'cougars?' I meant… uh… 'Coolers'…"

* * *

Chris crossed his arms. "Well, this is just _great_." The door came open and Chris smirked. He should've known he could count on someone's impatience to move things along swiftly. This impatient character had cropped copper toned hair with a brilliant blue shade of eyes against tanned skin. He dressed causally – loose cargo pants, loose black sweater. He had a lazy grin as he came in, shutting the door behind him. "What's goin' down, Vallen!"

Vallen stepped farther in, giving the place a look-over. He whistled out low, hiking his brows up obviously impressed. "Niiice pad here. Man, I'm so jealous Tawni got to hang out and party in this place! Speaking of Tawni, where's that Hot Shot at?"

Chris coughed, awkwardly keeping his smile in place. "She's ways away, for the moment. Don't you want to get to meet me – Chris Maclean – first? I mean, she is your _ex_."

Vallen arched a brow, and one of his eyes squinted half-shut. "Sooo? I'm her ex, too. And she better be as pumped to see me as I am her, or she's in for it!" he called out playfully. "Hmm, say, is she hanging out with that guy she's here to date?"

People on the steps struggled to bite back laughs as Chris tensed. Then, he relaxed and effortlessly snickered, wiping a non-existent tear from his eye. "Funny, man. Didn't know you were a joker like her!"

Vallen blinked. "Uh, I was being serious… why, is the guy here?" He squinted his eyes on the guys on the steps. Then he noticed Cody trying to sneak back into the room and pointed. "HEY! It's him – that kid from Total Drama Whatever! Hey, is Tawni here to date _you_? Didn't think she's into kids that young, but who the heck am I to judge, right?"

Cody's bright eyes sparkled as he went into a state of euphoria. Wow, did The Network decide to make this his show instead of Chris's? _Really_? Wow, just wow.

"_Ehehehe, Iiiii geeeeet iiiit now_!" Chris said, though some of the humor was drained from his face as he wagged a finger at Vallen, scrunching up his eyes like an observant Private Eye catching a villain in the act. "You're floored. I guess it makes sense, I am pretty awesome. I bet you can't believe she has an opportunity to get close to me, am I right?"

Vallen looked more lost then ever. Cody looked more disappointed than ever. "So, wait," Vallen said in a drawl, trying to figure things out. "So, Tawni's here for you?"

"You bet."

"… But she said this guy she was going to meet was famous or something like that. I haven't seen you on TV!"

A nerve imploded inside Chris somewhere deep, deep down.

"Are… you for real, dude? I hosted the show he was on!" He said, motioning to Cody desperately. "I'm on a magazine cover every other week! I was voted one of the hottest bachelors in the world! I'm freakin' richer than any whiny pop star at their prime! I get interviewed all the time! I'm all over TV! _This is my show, dammit_!"

Vallen put his hands up defensively, staring incredulously at the host before him. Even though Chris was posing in a beautiful fashion and seemed collected, the fact his tone was growing more and more savage and that dark tint to his eyes said otherwise. This guy was after blood.

Starting to want to get out of there and avoid this delusional loony, Vallen called for backup. "TAWNI! TAAAAAAAAAAAAAWNIIIIIIII FERNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX! WHERE OH WHERE ART THOU?"

Not even a second flashed and Tawni was in the room, bumping fists with her ex. "Vallen! They got you? Ah geeze, can't these drama-fanatics do any better?"

"Obviously not. Their first mistake was picking you."

**Tawni**_**: "Judging from some of the pissed off people on the steps, I know a lot of people are freaked out right now, but I'm not one of those people. If one of their best friends was coming over, I think they'd be smiling too."**_

"So, Tawni, I gotta know – who is this freak?"

Tawni laughed, and slapped a hand to her head. "Chris Maclean. He's pretty awesome, take my word for it."

"As dangerous as that is to do, I guess I have no choice." Vallen shrugged and waved half-heartedly, not looking convinced Tawni would be after _that_ guy. Chris was on the same page, not looking pleased Tawni was ever with _that_ guy.

**Vallen: **_**"So really, who IS that dude? Like, can anyone tell me? Was he ever spoofed on South Park? Family Guy? Robot Chicken? How can he be famous and NOT be on one of those shows?"**_

The only teenager in the place decided to not bring up the fact he missed his cue and tried to start off fresh. "Oh, say, I think it's time for the next ex!" he exclaimed cheerfully, opening the door and watching as a relaxed guy came in. He looked laidback, sporting plain jeans, a baggy green sweater, and flip flops. His mop of shaggy red hair stood out vibrantly against his pale skin and coaxed attention to his blue eyes.

"Hey! Welcome to Chris Maclean's place! Home to… um, Chris Maclean!" Cody greeted, hoping Chris was taking notes to how much better he was at introducing people to the set-up. "The name's Cody."

The redhead chuckled and put his hand out. "The name's Andrew. Put it there, Cody." The two shook hands, Cody's eyes grinning. He liked this guy. Andrew looked at the glass on the ground, confused. "Why's the window on the floor?"

"Some guy jumped through it." Cody shrugged off how strange it sounded to say that.

"Hn, bet he'll be feeling that in the morning."

**Serenity: **_**"I have no interest in any guy but Chris, but you'd have to be crazy or blind to not notice how cute that guy is! I wonder if he's single… he'd go great with my friend back home!"**_

"Andrew!" Chris took the spotlight back, shoving Cody away with the palm on his hand. Andrew gave him a dirty look for the way he abused the teen, and Chris rolled his eyes, turning. "Cody! Be a good kid and go get Lena!"

"I'm not a kid…" Cody grumbled, moping to the Sitting Room.

Dark eyes roved over to clash against a bright pair. "Quick concern: do you know who I am?"

Andrew shrugged. "I mean I've only seen your shows and your face everywhere…"

"Wicked! You're ill in my book then!" Chris checked the guy out, taking him in. "Saaay… the material in your sweater matches the material in a lot of Lena's clothes. Organic?"

"One-hundred percent," Andrew admitted shamelessly. "Lena gets her clothes from the same places I do. We used to go out a lot together before things… ended. She's got great style." Andrew sighed a bit dreamily. Then he shook his head, snapping out of it. "Wait, you can spot what material my shirt is? And Lena's? That's… a strange talent."

Chrsi shrugged. "What can I say? I like clothes. Got any damage with that?"

Andrew shrugged. "No, no, no. It's cool by me, just curious is all."

**Dawn: **_**"Chris is big on style, but I never knew he was good with things like materials. Heh, trust him to keep the surprises coming."**_

Andrew and Chris were caught off guard as a pair of arms slung themselves around Chris's neck, and a petite brunette started to snuggle the crane of his neck. "Hi, Chris," Lena cooed. "What's the challenge for today?" She peaked up and saw Andrew and frowned a bit as he narrowed his eyes. To lighten the situation up, she dropped off of Chris and started to walk away when he reached a hand out to grab her wrist and keep her by his side.

"Chris?" Lena asked.

Chris brought the girl in front of him so his lips were at his ear. "Go ahead to the steps, bro!" Chris directed Andrew. "And Cody? Go get the door."

"Chris, what's –"

"He loves you," Chris whispered to her sharply and secretively, quite and close enough for no one else to hear. "There are still some guys here who's intention's I'm not sure of, but he obviously _wants you_."

Then, as suddenly as he pulled her close, he let her go and lightly tapped her to the stairs. "That goes for half you girls up there!" The girls, who missed the message, gave him blank looks.

**Lena: **_**"I don't know why he did that to me – did he do that to everyone? Something tells me he didn't. It makes me feel special." She hugs her arms around herself, her eyes getting soft. "I love Chris, I hope he's not worried I'll leave him. That'd just be silly."**_

**Andrew: **_**"I hate how full of himself Chris is. Who does he think he is, tugging Lena around like that? She should be treated better… she should give me another chance."**_

Chris ran a hand through his hair and fixed it up a bit. He was worried all this care would start to make his hair flat – he noticed it happened to a lot of good people. That's why older men with wives were bald, but of course. Swerving to the camera with a smile, Chris sank into his host persona, watching as Cody (who was distracted) started back toward the door again. "Now we've got three more pairs to let –"

A second crash as the front doors smashed open. The bang had everyone expecting to se a hurricane, but instead saw Patrick Swayze. Or, they at least saw a guy as good looking as he was in _Dirty Dancing _**[3]**.

"Hey, pretty boy's got competition," Andy whispered to Maddie, who cracked a smile at the joke. His heart fluttered and he found it harder to watch the host interact with the new guy more than ever.

Now that he had Cody to bitch around, Chris wasn't happy with the impatience presented in this guy. Or the fact he threw open his nice doors open with so much aggression. This guy needed to be put into his place. "Yo, man! Check yourself!"

The fit man flicked his hands over the doors and slammed them shut effortlessly. "Sorry, I was getting bored. My limo wasn't finely stocked with the alcohol I like."

"Tell me about it!" Patrick complained. "I mean really – no Raspberry Burst Smirnoff? _What the hell_?!"

"Oh hey," Alix said brightly. "I had that in my limo! Awful stuff, never liked alcohol, but the drive said it was worth a try…"

"_You_ got some and didn't bring it in with you?" Patrick cried, gasping. "You _bitch_!"

Serenity hid behind her hands. "He's not with me…" she muttered. "Well, not anymore anyways."

Alix gulped.

**Alix: **_**"Ehehe, it's not like I want to be involved in conflicts with people so soon. I didn't know he wanted some. I can't see why... alcohol greatly impairs judgment. Doesn't he know that?"**_

**Berko: **_**"I could use somethin' somethin' right about now. I think waaaay better after a couple shots."**_

Chris looked at the camera and said flatly, "This is Steve."

"Steve Boshwell, up and coming star dancer alongside my partner, Roxanne."

"Uh, ex-_boyfriend_, ex-_partner_. Though your denial will make for great ratings!" Chris turned to Cody. "Get Roxie, kay?"

"Roxie? Roxanne sounds so much mature. Besides, that's how she's introduced on stage."

"So? You think Steve sounds mature? One word: stage name, dude. Get a cooler one."

Roxie, knowing how aggravating it was to deal with her ex, flew into the room faster than the other girls. She came in and grabbed Chris's attention with her panicked eyes. "Oh, Steve."

He came over in a few steps and tried to wrap his arms around her while muttering apologies, but she pushed him off. "Chris, I don't want to be near him."

"Me neither." He looked at Cody. "Put them on opposite sides of the stairs."

"Are you serious? I can't shove that guy around!" He smiled sheepishly and looked at the girls. "Eh, ladies, I could, bu-but that'd be rude to abuse my strength like that. And I don't fight in front of girls."

"You could, could you?" Cody gulped as the intimidating Steve glared at him and took off on the opposite side of the steps from where Roxie stood, though his eyes never left her form.

**Steve: **_**"I'll make her come around. It's only a matter of time before Roxie realizes she wants me and not this joke. No more being nice to that idiot – it's every man for himself."**_

**Roxie: **_**"Steve was horrible to me. It hurts to be so close to someone who ruined me like he did."**_

Before the door had a chance to get opened by another eager ex, Cody had his hand on the knob before Chris gave him the okay-go. Without hesitation, as soon as Steve and Roxie were up on the steps, Cody had the door opened and signaled for the second-to-last ex to make his entrance. Entering was a good-looking guy with beached hair and suntanned skin. He had expensive taste judging from the Abercrombie and Fitch logo adorning his sweater. He also seem unimpressed to see Chris upon walking in. "Oh, you. Didn't know I'd have to meet you. Hoping I didn't, but you know, can't always have what we want I guess."

Chris yawned, sick of being insulted. "Nice to have you here too, Jordan." What happened to the bromantics? "Get Lauren," Chris ordered Cody, who was already down the hall before he finished her name.

Jordan stopped looking in a pocket-mirror he had on him and scrunched his nose. "Ewe, Lauren, what a cheap name."

Chris clapped his hands together. "Well, I guess I know who broke up with who now and why. So much for suspense."

Jordan looked really lost at this point. "Me? Date a girl with that heinous name? As if."

Lauren came in, and her eyes blew wide open when she saw Jordan checking himself in his familiar mirror. A mirror he pushed her away countless times before so he could have more time to look at all his perfections. What really had her was how they found this guy to come here. She thought she covered her tracks so well, yet here was a piece of her past that she didn't want here. This was a piece of herself she wanted to keep in dark and was now out in broad daylight _on camera_.

Joy.

Jordan disinterestedly looked up at the girl gawking at him openly. He was use to it, sure, but he was still curious enough to see who it was. After registering her face, his own jaw fell slack. "V-Val?!"

**All the Girls: **_**"Val…?"**_

**Chris: **_**"Wow, he's a lot more creative with nicknames than I am!"**_

**Daniel: **_**"The people here are obnoxious. Why is my Lea here again?"**_

Lauren slapped a hand over Jordan's mouth. If he wasn't so shocked and perplexed, he would've went off about how she was ruining his perfect face and getting her oils on his flawless skin. "_I'll explain if you don't say another word_," she hissed out so well only he heard. "_But say anything about 'Val' and I'll kill you_."

He gulped, obviously beleiveing she was not only capable of murdering him, but good on her word as well. He forced a smile into place. "Lauren! My ex-girlfriend, Lauren. Who… is named Lauren."

**Jordan: **_**"Lauren? Really? How uncreative."**_

Chris smiled happily. "Get up there Jordan and Val!" Lauren gave him an disbelieving look and he laughed. "Sorry babe, but that nickname fits you waaay better than Lauren does. It's pretty bonus if you ask me."

Lauren dropped her defenses, absolutely elated to hear such news. Jordan rolled his eyes and dragged her up beside him, intending to make sure he got answers soon. Until then, he'd pass the time by looking at himself in the window shard pieces across the floor.

"Chris? Do you mind if I wait in here?" Chris looked beside him, not noticing Charlie beside him until she said something. "Besides, I can handle seeing my ex as he walks in. Though I'm not sure if I can handle Cody throwing another pickup line at me."

Chris shrugged. "Suit yourself, angel. Only better to get your reaction straight away. Come to think of it, why didn't I consider that?"

Charlie rolled her eyes helplessly. Leave it to him to be sadistic enough to call them out like prisoners facing their executions as they meet their ex's again and forget the malice behind his actions.

"Annnd our last gent is –" Chris paused for what was intended to be dramatic purposes, but when the door never opened he rolled his eyes. "Cody, that's you hint to open some doors here." Chris looked around. "Cody? Anyone see –"

Hands pointed to the teenager, who was ranting on his cell phone. "Yeah, Gwen, my own show! You can be on it, sweetheart! Actually, you already won, but we need to make good TV. The other girls can be props. No one can compete against you!"

Feeling his skin getting incinerated under Chris's stare down, Cody mumbled a goodbye and flew to the door, pulling it open like he did nothing wrong at all. "Bro! You're the last one, pal!"

As soon as he stepped in, Charlie breathed out irritably, but smiled nonetheless. "Hi, Terrance." She walked over and hugged him. He smiled wide and returned it happily. "Charlie!" he cheered, giving her a tight squeeze before gently dropping her down.

She took his hand and let go once she reached Chris. "Terrance, this is Chris Maclean." She linked their arms together during the introduction and placed a hand before her ex. "Chris, this is my ex boyfriend, Terrance."

Chris was smiling like the devil at the sight of Charlie willingly toughing him, which was something quite new indeed. His grin grew more wicked as he took in the cold look in the handsome man's face across from him. Looks like he was better than this joke, and this joke was well aware of it.

**Charlie: **_**"Dealing with breakups all the time, I tried to handle my own maturely to avoid conflict. That way in situations like this, it's not stressful and there are no hard feelings whatsoever. I'm also pleased Chris behaved well. I was expecting him to try and show me off like a prize, but there wasn't any daunting on his part at all. I really think he's become a better man."**_

**Steve: **_**"Based off the dirty grin Chris was giving whats-his-face, I'd have to say he was so showing Charlie off. Not that I blame him, the girl's a total fox."**_

**Terrance: **_**"Charlie shouldn't have to compete for love – she has it in me. This guy treats woman horribly. Charlie should know she deserve better, if she'd let me give it to her."**_

"Cody, take Charlie and Ter-bear up to the steps, will you?" Terrance cringed at the nickname, intent on talking to Chris about respect later. Once all the pairs were on the steps, Chris took a deep breath.

"Feel that, Cody?" Cody shook his head, coming beside the host. "That's called tension – it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Revel in it, and it's yours to manipulate. Though what's tension without a palace to exploit it?"

"Chris, you're weird," Cody said, tacking on a, "Bro," to the end to sound cooler.

"Sure I am, says the walking poster child for losers." Cody scoffed. "Now that we're all acquainted – and _re_acquainted – I think it's high time to introduce the next challenge! But before that, we might want to head over to one of my favorite places! Guys and girls – and guys who act like girls – get ready to head out!"

* * *

**[1] – By Tila, I meant Tila Tequila. She's famous for being bi, being sexually open if you catch my drift, having her own 'love' show, and being a huge MTV/MySpace sensation. Not really a fan, but she seems nice ehehe.**

**[2] – If you missed this, Al was referring to the fact that Andy's 'date' would be a blow-up doll.**

**[3] – **_**Dirty Dancing**_** is a movie I have yet to sit through all of. All you need to know is Patrick Swayze, the actor, is the film's 'stud muffin' and catches the heart of a young dame. There's a lot of dancing, too… and corny music… and more dancing. **

**Wow, done finally. 41 pages, not bad not bad. Sorry for the wait, I tried to get this out whilst keeping it descent and fun. Feedback on this would be more than appreciated, I was so nervous writing it and making sure everyone came out alright.**

**Thanks go out to: everyone, but of course.**

**Special thanks: everyone who reviewed and I have yet to get back to! This chapter I will lol.**

**Special, Special Thanks: Greenie, Feline, HowlingWulf, and Blonde with a Brain**

**... Now that's it down here, too :D**


	20. Club Scene

**The Challenges of Love**

**20. Club Scene (Chris VS Ex's Pt II)**

* * *

**Meh, life's tough… 'nuff said. Anyways, after a LONG overdue wait, here's the update. It would have been much longer, but I keep getting a lot of distressed cries for updates. This is just basically a – gasp – filler chapter, but still important seeing as it sets the scene. All the 'good stuff' happens next chapter. (Good stuff – i.e. drama, romance, un-romance, deaths, etc)**

**The OC's, the Total Drama show and all related aspects… yeah, it doesn't belong to me. Neither does any of the songs… which will get disclaimers at the bottom so as to not spoil bits of the chapter or the next chapter. Yes, the songs will most definitely go on the playlist :) Hope you all like the club-music scene. But don't expect the whole song. I've been to clubs: good clubs only play, like, a few seconds of the song mixed into a dance-beat. None of this 'they play every second of the song like at dances and it's SOOO romantic' business. So… I'm here to educate ;)**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson_

_-Ladies Left: 13_

* * *

_The 'Ex' Quick Guide and Their Former Lady (in order of which they appeared):_

-_**Cody/Gwen (… In His Mind…)**_: _Heh, not really an ex, but the kid hopes to get some action. He'll be joined by another TD original cast member this chapter to help out with the mission. Though his current goal is to get his own show for love… and maybe get these girls to apply._

-_**Patrick/Serenity**__: He's pretty hot for Chris… and could care less about Serenity or her own flame for the host. In fact, the only other person he's really noticed is his 'enemy' for Chris Brad (see below). He has a penchant for enjoying Raspberry Burst Smirnoff in excess._

_-__**Brad/Shelly**__: He's all man, all flirt, and all for Chris. His little stunt hitting on Chris got him to start off on a bad note with Patrick (above). He and Shelly have an unresolved past that's left them both feeling out of sorts with each other._

_-__**Ren/Dawn**__: He has some serious skeleton's making some noise in his closet and is hinted to be living with a girl. He seems to be very interested in Dawn, who's interested in Chris, who thinks she might still be into her ex. _

_-__**Alix/Katroina**__: With his adorable vibes and obvious traits of being a nerd, he's an ex and good-friend to Katroina. He's still a bit unsure of if Chris is a good match for her and seems to be a interested in getting to know Dawn due to his weakness for brainy girls._

_-__**Daniel/Lea**__: By far the most off-kilter ex. His thoughts convey him as controlling, violent, and extremely possessive. He seems to think Lea's his 'property' and he's come to take her home, though she seems more than through with him. He currently wants to smash everyone's face in, though Chris's is at the top of his 'to hit' list._

_-__**Andy/Al**__: Chris has a bromance going with this scene-kid, who smashed the host's window with his guitar case instead of taking the door. The closest he is to Al is getting into verbal spats, otherwise he hates her and thinks the breakup was "the worst." He has a 'thing' for Maddie, which he's determined to act on._

_-__**Berko/Maddie**__: To say he hates his ex would be an understatement. He's out to destroy any shot she has at staying longer or being happy with Chris. While she suffers, he plans on getting with some girls… if they'd give him a shot. He too has a bromance with Chris._

_-__**Dom/Krissy**__: How this sweetheart ever put up with Krissy is beyond anyone. But nevertheless he's a devoted friend who wants her to 'act right' and be treated well and he just wants her happy. He calls her 'Moe.' _

_-__**Vallen/Tawni**__: He's Tawni's best guy friend… and has no idea who Chris is. Really. Chris doesn't know what to think about their relationship… _

_-__**Andrew/Lena**__: A fellow environmentalist, he misses what he has with Lena and wants her back. He harbors a dislike for Chris over the way he treats her._

_-__**Steve/Roxie**__: A jerk in every sense, he wants Roxie back and thinks he's the best thing ever. Roxie, for some reason, blames him for ruining her… how he did is still a mystery._

_-__**Jordan/Laruen**__: A cocky guy who's confused along with the rest of the group, but obviously knows something they don't. What IS up with the 'Val' thing…?_

_-__**Terrance/Charlie**__: Because Charlie "willingly touches" Terrance, the two guys are not each other's fan. Terrance wants Charlie to get back with him instead of wasting her time with Chris._

Most people had to work hard for love, but she never had to work for _anything_. Her beauty got her far, and when she couldn't use them her natural quick-wit pushed her over the edge. Yes, it was unfair by a lot of people's standards, but so what? Nobody was worth listening to these days.

She looked up at a dashy place and couldn't help but smile at the sight of it. So the next challenge was here? What was Chris up to? Did he want to have a break-dancing contest or something? Or maybe karaoke?

"Hey, you, what's the challenge anyways?"

Collin, or rather Chris's dorky assistant, had his face break into a full blazing red. He wasn't used to being talked to by any girl other than his coworkers. "I-I'm su-surprised ya-you didn't, ah, _ask_ me earlier. Hah… hah… hah…" He choked back his 'joke' when he saw the girl's look of disgust. "Umm, well, y-you see, Chris wa-wants to –"

She leaned in, catching his whisper with her ears tuned into him. She felt a burn in her stomach, both glad she didn't have to do the challenge and relieved beyond words that she didn't have to worry about possibly looking any worse on TV.

"Oh, I just have to see this," she told him sweetly, watching with innocent eyes as he broke into a furious sweat. As they reached the back door to the place, Collin tried to compose himself.

"So, wa-we're ga-going t-to let… um, _let_ you in n-now. We'll p-put you in the pr-private room, oh-okay?"

She nodded stiffly, not betraying the anxiety that were on a blitz in her head. Even after she left, she felt like she had to be here. She didn't know why, but maybe… maybe he was her true love? Maybe she was going about it wrong before? Maybe she needed to make this the first thing she worked hard at. Maybe love wasn't supposed to be easy. Maybe it was _supposed_ to be challenging. How else could it make her feel so much?

"Are you re-ready, Ms. Claires?"

Leila Claires looked at the man holding the door for her. With a smile she perfected when she started her modeling gig, she rose out of the limo and strut to the back door, making sure to catch everyone's eyes on her swaying hips. "Yes, I'm ready. Now someone open this damn door for me."

* * *

It had to be the most awkward car ride in the history of reality shows. The chaos technically started before the limos left since everyone was fighting on who they'd ride with. Eventually Chris just took his own ride and let everyone work it out amongst themselves. By the time everyone got to their destination, tensions were high and most people were thoroughly frustrated. It didn't help that said car-trip was a good four hours long.

**Shelly: **_**"Worse car ride ever. I never liked long trips, but man – that was just brutal."**_

**Andy: **_**"Maddie was smokin' hot in the car ride. She just sat there with her legs crossed and glaring at Berko. She got some tightness in those legs." He winked. "I could take care of that for her."**_

**Patrick: **_**He's pouting, looking about as happy as a puppy getting yelled at. "There's no good drinks in this car, either."**_

**Serenity: **_**"Everyone was acting strange in my car. If people weren't fighting, they were glaring, if they weren't glaring, they were mooning cars." She paused. "Well, that Vallen guy was anyways. The weird part was more people were checking him out more than they were offended. What's wrong with everyone these days?"**_

Once the limos parked, the doors flung open before any butlers could get their first. "Salvation, thy name is LAND!" Al cheered as she jumped from the limo, almost tripping on her feet as Andy shoved himself out.

"Where's the bathroom?" Krissy cried as she fell out of the other limo. "I fell asleep in the car and I think I smudged my foundation!"

"Relax, Krissy," Dom assured her. "It's fine –"

"You're just saying that because you want to get in my pants!" Krissy pushed him back, and he fell into an unsuspecting Alix who toppled back into the limo.

**Krissy: **_**"Dom doesn't have a chance with me. We're strictly friends now. Heh, it must be tough to want me so much and see me with Chris."**_

**Dom:**_**. "I love Krissy, she's one of my best friends. But sometimes she can be … well, overdramatic. It's a bit silly, but we all have our flaws."**_

Laruen, who had been oddly reserved the entire car ride (not even bothering to address bravely asked questions and bold stares) spoke finally. "Where are we, anyways?"

Everyone looked up. Some people shrugged at her, feeling her confusion mounting in them. Though a few knew all too well what they was standing before them.

"No way! It's the Eighth Wonder of the World!" Maddie looked happier than she had since Berko popped into the picture.

"The Eighth Wonder of the World? What makes it the Eighth? What's so good about it?"

"Besides the fact it's the coolest and closest club to my place? It's the name of the place."

"CHRIS!" Maddie flung herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and planting her smile in the crook of his neck. "This is what we talked about!"

**Maddie: **_**"Chris keeping his promise is something I like. Chris twisting his promise around to accommodate everyone is something I don't like. But who cares? I'm here, and I'm amped! CLUBBIN' TIME!"**_

Chris put his hand on her back and swung her beside him so he could take everyone up to his speed. "Welcome, possible love interests and love disinterests, to the hit club, Eighth Wonder of the World! Known for its hot music scene and it's famous guest list including – but certainly not limited to – yours truly!"

Vallen coughed. "Tawni, this guy has ego issues."

Chris narrowed his eyes. "_As I was saying_… here's where you will have your next challenge: Truth or Lie. Sounds dangerous, am I right?" Crickets. "Riiiight so Imma go chill out in my VIP room while one of my people communicate the rules to you. Yeah, have fun with that!"

He gave Maddie a peck on her head and zipped off through the door. As he walked in, Cody's limo pulled in. He bolted out and swerved around. "Whoa, what'd I miss? What happened?!"

"Chris just told us someone was going to introduce the mission to us," Lena answered. "Hey, are you okay?"

"What? Oh, you're real nice – you can totally be on my show – but I just had to go to the, er, restroom real bad. So, who's introducing the mission?"

Katroina frowned. "Wait, you're not introducing the mission?"

"Nope," he admitted . "To be honest, I was supposed to high-tail it outta here after part one. Chris is just too full of himself to fetch people himself. But when I heard 'club' and 'ladies' I was here. So whoever gets eliminated tonight can home with me." He noticed Krissy bickering to a calm Dom about her chipped nail polish and grimaced. "Um, okay, maybe not everyone… even I have standards."

"So if it's not you," Katroina mused, "then maybe it's –"

The same door Chris darted into opened up. Cody grinned at raced over to fist-bump new arrival. "LeShawna! It's great to see you again!"

"It's great to see you too, Sugar!" LeShawna greeted. "'Sup Chris's girls? Chris's girls' boys?"

"_EX_-boys," Roxie stressed, sidestepping Steve's roaming hands.

LeShawna rubbed her neck. "Whoops, sorry 'bout that sista. It's kinda assumed though, you know?" Roxie nodded, and LeShawna got the feeling she was more annoyed with her 'ex-boy' than with her. This helped her relax. "So you ready to hear what's up or what?" She was met with nods. "Okay, so according to what those blockhead camera people told me –" the camera guys grunted – "Oops, sorry y'all! I meant the _other_ ones! Yeah, anyways, they said they were gonna call one of you ladies in with your ex to the VIP room."

Silence. "…That's it?" Serenity asked.

"Sorry, hun, but that's all I can tell you."

**Berko: **_**"What a hottie. I don't mind girls with the curves a'kickin. Wonder if she'll be dancing with us?"**_

**Lena: _"I like how we keep getting to meet the cast of the Total Drama shows. I thought they were are really cool people, and meeting them is just awesome. I wonder if it was Chris's idea?"_**

**Dawn: **_**"There's something more to this, but I think Chris is going to 'surprise us' with it when we get called back to his VIP. He likes stuff like this - and the ratings that go along with it." She smirked and sighed. "It's just his thing."**_

**Alix: **_**"A club?! Aw gee, that's real cool! I've never been inside one before! The one time I tried to get in, the bouncer laughed at me and asked if I had some studying to do. In fact, I did! It's so nice to see that clubs are about more than doing drugs and stuff, they really care about the people!"**_

* * *

The music blared all around the new arrivals, powering out of major stereos set-ups all over the light-up dance floor. Seamless beams of sheer color swirled around the place, the only constant light being dim lamps hanging lox above the table at booths and on the bar's counter top. The club had three more floors, which all had the center missing and a metal bar as a border so people could peak down to the bottom floor and vice versa. Coming in through the back door gave them a chance to get a bit used to the harsh sounds before being dumped onto the dance floor and crazy set-up. The crowd was wild. They swung around and knocked into each other with careless smiles and free spirits. Seeing everyone have such a great time set most people at ease and some of the group was swept into the mix quickly.

"Care to dance, ma'am?" Andy asked chivalrously, hanging his palm in front of Maddie to tempt her to cover it with hers. With all the energy buzzing around already, Maddie was quick to nod and laughed all the way to the middle of the mosh. Berko ditched her just as fast and head out on his own to a group of girls nearby that was grinding anything that bumped into them, with Krissy not too far behind. She had enough time to order Dom to get her a drink first, and he went away with a sad face. He was probably hoping she wouldn't get drunk and embarrass herself like the last time they went out to the club… and every time before last time they went out to a club. Seeing Dom go to the bar gave Patrick an idea. e smiled devilishly at the bar and decided to get acquainted with some drinks before dancing around like an idiot.

Everyone else was still adjusting, and stood together in a heap by the EXIT sign.

"So… we just go out?" Alix wondered.

Katroina nodded. "Yeah, it's just like high school dances, but a bit more extreme. It's not something I really like to be honest, but I have nothing against it."

"Ewe, what are they DOING?" Serenity gagged over the music at a couple a few feet away. They were about as decent as skinny-dippers and were all over each other in a booth.

"How can they be doing that? Where is the security in this place?" Katroina walked over and tapped the woman's shoulder. The pair paused and looked at her with mild confusion hazing their faces. "There is a time and place for everything, but this is certainly _not_ the place –"

As Katroina calmly tried to convince the couple to get a room, Tawni and Vallen decided to hassle the DJ and put on some more 'danceable' music versus the punk/scene music mix dominating the stereo. "Major Lazer time, biotches!" Vallen joked as he hopped with his best friend through the crowd.

"Dude, 'Pon de Floor' is crazy!" Steve shouted. He tried to get Roxie's arm and take her out to dance, but she had shrugged him off and went out to get down with Maddie in the middle of the room. Steve growled and stalked after her, determined to get her attention.

Jordan snorted at the desperation Steve displayed. "These people are seriously too dirty to hang around with. I'm going to go comb my hair." He glared at Lauren before taking off, doing his best to avoid touching the 'dirty' people cluttering the place. Lauren sighed miserably and went to an empty booth to mope.

Lena felt a pang when watching the scene progress to a sad friend sulking alone. Though Lauren had been acting strange and seemed to be hiding something now more than ever, it was no reason to estrange her and be that rude to her. Her natural compassion led her to go over and try and cheer Lauren up, with Andrew close by to try and help Lena with whatever she needed.

"Looks like the group is splitting up quick, eh?" Brad told Shelly. He frowned when he didn't get an answer. "Hey, you still ignoring me…?" He looked over at the vacant air he thought Shelly was in. His eyes flicked over the crowd and he saw her with Tawni and Vallen. She was laughing as they, ahem, 'overpowered' the current music man with ease. Feeling defeated, Brad went over to dance for himself and try to forget his treacherous situation.

"Dawn, come dance!" Al begged, trying to pull her out to the growing crowd. Everyone was going out, why not them too? Dawn smiled and tugged Alix out with them at the last second, hoping to give him a club experience since he seemed so excited when they came in. She didn't seem to notice his fierce blush at the sudden aggressive contact, but he wasn't going to complain. Ren however did notice, and he was hot on the Harvard student's trail.

Al waved Charlie to come and join them, and Charlie looked at Lea. "Hey, do you want to dance, too?"

Lea didn't even have time to blink when Daniel curved his bulky arms around her small frame and pressed her to him. He looked more like a snake curling around its prey than a protective friend. "She's spoken for," Daniel said politely to Charlie. "I hope you enjoy your time out there, though." Charlie frowned as the gentleman, not sure what to make of his actions. Before she got a chance to overanalyze things, Terrance was tugging her out to the dance floor. She would just have to ask Lea if he was always like that later.

As her last housemate left, Lea was left along with Daniel molding her to himself. She felt like a rag doll, afraid of the strain if she were to try to wriggle from his grip. It was like it had been before. He had two fingers on the string that kept her together, and he was just waiting to pull her in close and snip her apart when the opportunity presented itself.

"Daniel, I feel uncomfortable," Lea told him.

He nodded thoughtfully, a distant look in his sights as he stared down at her. "No, you don't."

Recognizing a lost battle, she just dropped her sights to the floor as he 'escorted' her to sit at an empty booth and keep an eye on her. Having him holding her like he used to didn't feel right and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to beg her imagination to at least try to pretend Daniel was the one man she wanted more than anything at the moment.

She knew it was in vain, for she was far too observant to fool herself. She was very aware who it was against her, telling her sweet things that wrung around her stomach until she felt sickness building in her. Daniel didn't smell like the man she wanted to be with, didn't sound like him, they shared very little in common. It was all so obvious to her. She couldn't ignore it.

Sometimes, she wished she didn't notice anything.

* * *

Chris had a brash nature. Being this way made him grow immune to thinking things through. He didn't tend to recognize the possible ramifications of his ill-made decisions until they were standing toe-to-toe up against him. Like now, for instance. Though he had no idea that his tricking Collin had landed him with his ex once more with him on his show, he did pay mind to the fact Leila was in his VIP room when he came in.

"Wrong room?" he ventured.

"Right room," Leila countered.

"Ah," was all he could say. He looked at the set-up and smirked, glad he got all the equipment he asked for. "Are you back on the show?" he decided to care enough to ask. "Because if so, you have a challenges to catch up on and you're so doing this one, plus you need to do a challenge to officially make it back on –"

Leila stomped over and put her hand to the back of Chris's head while putting her other hand to his lips. "Shut up. I'm the starlet here, got it?" Chris glared, not that Leila minded. As long as he was paying attention to her. "Now you're annoying assistant told me I could be back on the show to annoy you, so I am. And he said I didn't have to do the challenge but I could feel free to help, so suck on that."

"Chris, I hate to say it, but I like being here! This place is awe – WHOA! Sweetheart's laying the moves on thick there." Chris and Leila froze and their pupils got stuck on LeShawna, who looked a bit shocked with the intimate-looking scene. Cody strolled in and he looked puzzled. "Heeeeey, I don't know you. You weren't at the house – oh wait, I do know you! You're that pretty model! Wow, am I lucky you came back or what?"

"No shit, Sherlock." Leila's face brightened. "Speaking of Sherlock, I did this really hot lipstick ad were I got to dress up as a detective and pose with a magnifying glass. My lips have never been so _red_."

"Ohoho, I think I remember that ad…" A sloppy smile graced Cody's face as he swooned at the door, leaning on LeShawna to keep from falling to the floor. Ah, the power teenage fantasies.

"Goh geh haah hurhh huurr ahhehie!" Chris's orders were muffled by Leila's hand. He sighed and realized his hands still worked perfectly fine, and he brought them to her wrists and pushed her back. He seemed rather impervious to her yells of defiance. "Cody, you're good at playing Escort. Go get the first couple, won't you?"

Cody's dreamy smile drooped. "Aw man, why me? Why not LeShawna? I already did my job!"

"And if you want to _stay_ here, you'll do _her_ job. I need LeShawna for something else." He turned to Leila. She opened her mouth and he shoved her off to get some extra quiet time as she stumbled back in surprise. "Stay in the club, do whatever you want, that's fine. But you are not coming back into my competition," he said flatly, though with enough emphasis to have her convinced he didn't want to deal with her.

Remembering her thoughts earlier, she panicked. "Wait, Chris, you can't! I think –"

"I don't care what you think, got that?"

"But Chris I really – "

"Fine, you want to make it official? You're eliminated. Ka-put, gone, see-ya."

Leila's eyes teared up but she blinked them back. No way would she cry, and not over him or in front of him. Before storming out she stomped her heel into his foot, sending him crying back in pain. She stomped out by LeShawna, who slid out of her way.

**LeShawna: **_**"I've always thought Chris was a total jerk, so more power to her! I just hope he doesn't treat all the girls here like that, or we'll have some problems. No, there's no way I'll let Chris take home a girl only to boss her around. Don't worry, ladies – LeShawna's on your side."**_

"Chris, that's no way to treat a girl!" Cody berated. He turned to LeShawna and whispered, "So… you think she'll be on the rebound? 'Cuz I was thinking of starting my own show." LeShawna rolled her eyes. "What? What'd I say?!"

"Cody, you're on my sha-ow now. So get out of dweeb mode and fo-cus."Chris spoke slowly so Cody would get the message as he massaged his sore foot. "Now I want you to go fetch the first couple, alright?"

Cody scratched his head. "Don't you mean ex-couple?"

Chris waved a hand. "Whatever, yeah, sure. Anyways, I want you to go bring me –"

* * *

"_PON DE FLOOR!"_

As hoped for, a crazy intense dance-mix using Major Lazer's song 'Pon de Floor' was now playing by the time Cody came back out to the main club area's first floor. He watched in amazement as the people went even more wild with their moves then before.

The new DJ was accepted quickly with raving fans already. Cody looked over and instead of the guy with the freakishly-huge aviator sunglasses standing behind the DJ booth, Tawni was working the machine like a pro. Vallen was dancing behind her, occasionally shouting random thins in the mic just because he could. Shelly was there too, looking at buttons and obviously trying to keep herself from touching them and possibly making something explode.

Cody's eyes went wide. Shelly, his first girl, was on the opposite side of the club. Meaning he'd have to go through the wild crowd of equally wild people. His mother wouldn't approve. Though she'd probably be upset he was in an over-eighteen club to begin with… but never mind that. It's too late now, right?

Vallen noticed the awkward kid trying to find a safe place to rift the tight group of dancers and he nudged Tawni. "WHAT?" she shouted over the music.

"Chris sent the kid for the first couple no doubt," he perfectly mouthed to Tawni. She looked out for him and caught the teen. He noticed Tawni and Vallen had his attention and he pointed to Shelly beside them. Tawni nudged the blonde, who jumped away from the machine like she was a second from messing something up. "What?"

Tawni jabbed her finger at Cody. Shelly nodded and absent-mindedly/impulsively pushed a button that had been taunting her since she got over there. It made the bass blare louder and the crowd cheered. Tawni nodded in approval. "A real natural, eh Vallen?" she shouted, still turning out mute under the music's volume.

As expected, Vallen shrugged. "DUDE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID!"

Shelly almost paused, thinking Tawni was talking to her, but shook her head and continued forward. Being a pretty blonde, she found it easier for people to move over as she walked through. A few creeps here and there tried to dance with her and keep her with them, but she a swift (and forceful) hip-bump they were tripping over themselves and leaving her alone. When she reached Cody, she supped her hands around his ears. "What's up?" she hollered, having a feeling Chris was involved.

Cody pointed to the stairs that led up to the second floor, which probably led to the third floor where the VIP rooms most likely were. She nodded and made to move forward before Cody stopped her and pointed to the crowd. She sighed. She had to go find Brad. Deciding to use her friends a bit, Shelly jumped around and got Tawni's attention before mouthing 'Brad' to her. The DJ nodded and bent the mic towards her and away from Vallen, who subsequently pouted. "If you like the men and go by Brad, you're ex is waiting for by the stairs next to the bar!"

Several 'Brad's' began walking over when they saw Shelly, but the real Brad swept through and sent them all backing away with disgruntled looks. Cody sighed in relief and took them up to the VIP room to drop them off. He opened the door and waved a hand so they'd feel safe entering. Once in, he shut the door tightly and zoomed off to go enjoy the club-life. No way did he want to play doorman all night.

* * *

"Hello?" Shelly asked out. This wasn't the first time she was thrown into a dark room for a challenge.

"Shelly, don't just go yelling out stuff!" Brad chastised. "What if that Cody kid put us in the wrong room and now Drug Lords are going to kill us for interfering in a private deal on glow-in-the-dark drugs? Do you ever think before you do anything?"

Shelly squinted up at the direction of his voice. "… _What_? Glow-in-the-dark drugs?!"

**Shelly: **_**Instead of the usual confessional, Shelly is sitting in the bathroom stall. It has some pictures and words censored out. "Sure, I've been told plenty of times to think about things before I do them or say them or whatever, but honestly – drugs that glow-in-the-dark? That's a new one."**_

"That'd be a real money-maker right there, but I got something that'd make easy bucks and is way cool. Let me introduce you two to something that's about to make my night –" the lights flicked on and Chris and LeShawna were seen sitting on a couch behind a large machine. A man working it nudged his glasses up and cleared his throat. "In case you can't tell, this is my guarantee of high ratings and a nice paycheck. You see, this baby right here is a state-of-the-art polygraph machine!"

* * *

**- I don't own _Pon de Floor_ by Major Lazer, but I still love it XD Crazy music = greatness.**

**I just realized I haven't had Chris come down from the ceiling from a rope/microphone/item as of yet. What kind of Chris-centric-fic doesn't have him defying gravity?! I'll have to add that *evil smirk* hehehe…**

**I'm sorry if I didn't have many OC/ex's appearances. And the shortness! Ah, the unbearable shortness! I tried my darnest, so I owe everyone a better part next chapter. Again, terribly sorry :( I'll keep well on my word of better OC-air-time next chapter. I swear on my GPA (and I reeeeally like my GPA lol). And senior year is intense, so I'll update when I can. My last homecoming is next weekend… that's emotionally taxing xP. And senior pictures… I'm debating putting them up so people can see what I look like lol. I'm afraid of creepers though*shifty eyes***

* * *


	21. Liars Not So Anonymous

**The Challenges of Love**

**21. Liars Not-So Anonymous (Chris vs. Ex's III)**

* * *

**Update… yeah… I'd say more if my brain wasn't mush. I swear, school work has the same effects on your brain as d****rugs. It gets to the point where you're one big addicted mess. All I think about half the time these days is darn school. Work Rehab, anyone?**

**Ahem… anyways... you may want to read it in sections (yay for overuse of dividers to make decent bookmarks) so you're eyes don't hurt, you don't get bored (I'd cry if this happened), etc. I didn't want to split it up into another chapter, because I didn't think it'd be fair to all the OC's. But if you want to read it all in one sitting, go for it. I just don't want to get sued for eye appointments O.o**

**Shout-out goes to Blond with a Brain for her epic idea for Lauren/Val. Which won't completely carry-out until next chapter ;D **

**And thanks Greenie, for being a wicked awesome challenge-beta.**

**I don't own Total Drama Island or anything associated with it, Halo, The Hulk, Max and Ruby, Bambi, or Neosporin.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson_

_-Ladies Left: 13_

_

* * *

_

_The 'Ex' Quick Guide and Their Former Lady (in order of when they take the challenge):_

-_**Brad/Shelly**_: _He's all man, all flirt, and all for Chris. His little stunt hitting on Chris got him to start off on a bad note with Patrick. He and Shelly have an unresolved past that's left them both feeling out of sorts with each other._

_-__**Andy/Al**__: Chris has a bromance going with this scene-kid, who smashed the host's window with his guitar case instead of taking the door. The closest he is to Al is getting into verbal spats, otherwise he hates her and thinks the breakup was "the worst." He has a 'thing' for Maddie, which he's determined to act on._

_-__**Steve/Roxie**__: A jerk in every sense, he wants Roxie back and thinks he's the best thing ever. Roxie, for some reason, blames him for ruining her… how he did is still a mystery._

_-__**Ren/Dawn**__: He has some serious skeleton's making some noise in his closet and is hinted to be living with a girl. He seems to be very interested in Dawn, who's interested in Chris, who thinks she might still be into her ex. _

_-__**Alix/Katroina**__: With his adorable vibes and obvious traits of being a nerd, he's an ex and good-friend to Katroina. He's still a bit unsure of if Chris is a good match for her and seems to be a interested in getting to know Dawn due to his weakness for brainy girls._

_-__**Berko/Maddie**__: To say he hates his ex would be an understatement. He's out to destroy any shot she has at staying longer or being happy with Chris. While she suffers, he plans on getting with some girls… if they'd give him a shot. He too has a bromance with Chris._

_-__**Dom/Krissy**__: How this sweetheart ever put up with Krissy is beyond anyone. But nevertheless he's a devoted friend who wants her to 'act right' and be treated well and he just wants her happy. He calls her 'Moe.' _

-_**Patrick/Serenity**__: He's pretty hot for Chris… and could care less about Serenity or her own flame for the host. In fact, the only other person he's really noticed is his 'enemy' for Chris Brad (see below). He has a penchant for enjoying Raspberry Burst Smirnoff in excess. _

_-__**Andrew/Lena**__: A fellow environmentalist, he misses what he has with Lena and wants her back. He harbors a dislike for Chris over the way he treats her._

_-__**Daniel/Lea**__: By far the most off-kilter ex. His thoughts convey him as controlling, violent, and extremely possessive. He seems to think Lea's his 'property' and he's come to take her home, though she seems more than through with him. He currently wants to smash everyone's face in, though Chris's is at the top of his 'to hit' list._

_-__**Vallen/Tawni**__: He's Tawni's best guy friend… and has no idea who Chris is. Really. Chris doesn't know what to think about their relationship… _

_-__**Terrance/Charlie**__: Because Charlie "willingly touches" Terrance, the two guys are not each other's fan. Terrance wants Charlie to get back with him instead of wasting her time with Chris._

_-__**Jordan/Laruen**__: A cocky guy who's confused along with the rest of the group, but obviously knows something they don't. What IS up with the 'Val' thing…?_

_

* * *

_

A lot of jabs were being taken at ethics with this challenge. Was Chris Maclean right to be forcing the girl's and their ex's into a situation where he could take advantage of them? Was he right to exploit them for ratings and his own benefit? Was it okay to risk embarrassing them?

While those are questions that should have been strenuously mulled over before entering into the challenge, it wasn't until now that they besieged the host. Needless to say, he wasn't a fan of his conscience deciding to heckle him as Shelly and Brad were being strapped into side-by-side polygraph machines. He eyed the low screens on the table, both bearing a separate name in accordance to the victim across from it. It would confirm their words by flashing red and green accordingly to expose them.

He should be excited to take things up a few notches, but he felt wind in his veins. Chills. Could he be nervous? But why? It's not like _he_ was in their position.

"Afraid of what you're gunna find out?" LeShawna teased, picking up on the darting eyes above his over-used smirk. "The truth isn't always pretty."

Chris chuckled at her attempt to warn him. It's not like they were friends. Had the girl forgotten how he tormented her on Total Drama? Was she that sweet? Stupid teenager. "I'm pumped," he replied, looking drop dead serious. "I can only imagine the stories we'll get to air. And I bet we'll hear some pretty creative stiff that makes Tucker Max **[1] **look like his life is boring."

The assistants dodged away as soon as everything was setup and Chris leaned back smugly. "You two cozy yet?"

"Not really." Brad frowned as he tried to get in a comfortable position. "These seats are stiff!"

"Generally metal chairs _are_."

**Brad: **_**"Chris is hot and fun to get fired up, but he's not my type. Maybe a FWB or something, but I couldn't date a guy who looks so happy about putting my butt in this much pain." He shakes his head and huffs. "Well, you know what I mean."**_

"Right, as I said, you two are my guinea pigs for the game Truth or Lie. Heh, I couldn't even get any interns for this one! Imagine that, huh?" Awkward laughs all around. "Yeah, good stuff. So, as I was _say_ing, you two are going to be asked a series of twenty random questions per person."

He smiled, which was a typical indicator that he was finished explaining things. Shelly narrowed her eyes a bit, trying to figure him out. "That's it?"

LeShawna wasn't quite convinced either. "Yeah – _that's it_? I get threatened with shocks on the Aftermath to tell the truth but nothing happens to them? That's just ridiculous!"

"Whoa – you talk way fast. I didn't catch any of that. Not that I care." LeShawna fumed and crossed her arms. The efforts it took to keep civil were ridiculous. Chris shrugged her off and rounded on Shelly. "Babe, that's it."

Shelly smiled and unwound the tightness from her muscles. "So if I get shocked or anything, I get to kill you?"

"I'll even provide the weapons," he promised.

"Don't worry, you two! LeShawna's got your back! I'll try to keep him from giving you two a tough time!" Chris finally gave LeShawna some acknowledgement in the form of a heated glare. She tapped the table. "What?"

He shook his head. "No use explaining it to an amateur. Just let me run the show and you sit tight until it's all over, mmkay?"

**LeShawna: **_**"I don't know who he thinks he is, but I don't appreciate being talked to like that. He better get his act together and realize how to treat a lady."**_

**Cody: **_**"So I was thinking that LeShawna would be a pretty good addition to my show. But I don't know how Gwen would feel about that. I mean, they ARE friends. Besides, I wouldn't really want to put my future girlfriend in that position, y'know?"**_

**Maddie: **_**She has a black permanent marker and is writing something in big, bold letters on the wall of the bathroom stall. She pulls away and nods at her work, giving a little giggle. She leans into the camera and says, "Don't ask me where I got the marker," and places said marker down. As she takes off, the camera doesn't even need to zoom in to see the large 'Maddie + Chris = 3' written there. **_

Chris pulled out another flat screen from under the table and put it between Shelly and Brad's screens. "Like I said, I'll ask ten questions per person, going back and forth. We'll start off easy – dude, tell me – what's something you _know_ that Shelly wouldn't tell me on national television?"

Brad's eyes shrank and he gulped as he felt Shelly give him a death glare. Wanting to get on her good side, he took a deep breath and said, "Ugh… nothing. She's got nothing to hide."

The green light for Brad's screen shone red onto Chris's face as his lips pulled back into a smirk. "Oh, well, I guess she does! LeShawna, you've got a button under your arm rest, do you mind pressing it?"

LeShawna, unsure of what was going on, hesitantly lifted up her chair's armrest to find a button. "This is some James Bond action right here."

**Shelly: **_**"If she wanted to see James Bond action she should've seen me scaling Chris's place. Or jumping from the plane. Or just me in the house in general. Man, doing all this for Chris is nonstop excitement. I think this should be filmed or something. It'd be an awesome show!" She sits and smiles, than realization dawns on her and she hits her head. "Oh… blonde moment…"**_

LeShawna gave a careful flick to the button and looked around for a sign that what she pressed worked however it was supposed to. On cue, a large scoreboard dropped down from the ceiling. On it was two sides: Truth and Lie. The bright green number two was under Truth, and an equally bright red one was under Lie. Chris clapped his hands. "Niiice effects! They even got everything color coded like I asked."

"What is that?" Brad asked. Shelly was too angry with the fact that Brad got caught lying to even form words.

"You see, I was lying before. There _is_ more to this challenge than what I had originally said there was!" The competitors all glared at Chris. LeShawna looked at Shelly. "I know you said you wanted to kill him, but I don't mind doing the job for you."

Chris swiped off imaginary tears from under his eyes. "Yeah… surprises are something I do from time to time. Hehe." He got his wits back together and pointed a well manicured finger up to the scoreboard. "So I'm assuming everyone see's this board here, right?... Yes?... No?... Yes. Okay, well this is for you two," he informed Brad and Shelly, dragging an invisible line with his free hand between them. "Now you both can keep track of what LeShawna and I see on our screens. It'll help you out since this is all part of today's challenge!"

"What exactly is the 'full' challenge?" Shelly asked, hoping to get an honest answer this time.

Chris obliged… finally. "I'm glad you asked. To help motivate everyone to be honest, there's a catch!" LeShawna shook her head in defeat and Shelly sighed. Why couldn't he just have told them all this before again? "Why's everyone look so annoyed? Whatever. _As I was saying_, the three girls with the highest number of lies to truths ratio are up for elimination. Everyone else is exempt. So let's say every other ex-couple gets a perfect, hmm? Well then, Shelly's automatically up for elimination. Sucks a lot, huh?"

**Shelly: **_**"Heck yeah it does!"**_

**LeShawna: **_**"I knew it! He's still as sneaky as ever. Why on earth do all these girls want to date a sadistic jerk like him? They should just go scout some hotties in the club, take them home, and call it a night. There's no reason to be feeding this man's ego."**_

"Back to the question." Chris turned to Brad. "Answer honestly now – if you lie, you could put Shelly here in quite a pickle. I'm going to ask you again, bro: what's something you know about Shelly that she won't tell me on national television?"

Brad sighed miserably. "Pretty much anything about her sixth grade year is off the table, man."

Shelly bit her lip and watched as the score changed to show evidence that he was indeed telling the truth this time.

"Ohhhkay, that's vague, wanna be more specific?"

"No can do. As much as I want Shelly to give me a shot to redeem myself, I want to live so much more."

Chris crossed his arms and muttered angrily. Since he didn't give any sort of distinctive answer, it couldn't be held against him. He'll just have some digging to do later is all. "Fine, back over to Shelly. Shelly, I've been missing an awful lot of candy from my stash recently. Are you responsible for that?

The blonde sighed. "I didn't want you to find out this way… but around last week I dropped my fork after it bounced off whatever Chef was serving for lunch, and I found your stash. But I mean what kind of person tapes chocolate bars under the table anyways?! So I tried _just_ one since the food here sucks and I was starving… and one turned to twelve… and well… yeah, that's all I have to say about that. It was pretty good though."

"Yeah, I know," he growled. "It's expensive Swiss chocolate. You couldn't tell by reading the wrappers?"

"Chris, all I saw was chocolate. There was little thinking to be had when one of my favorite things in the world is nearby. The only other time we ever get properly fed is at elimination ceremonies. That's just sad."

"But Chef told me he made Chocolate Lava Cake last night! Didn't he?"

Shelly winced. "You mean that brown brick that was _spitting_ some dark yellow goo at anyone who got within two inches? Yeah, no one tried that."

Chris rubbed his eyes. "The poor guy… I'll have to break the news gently to him." He waved his hand away. "Or maybe I'll lie to him too. _Any_ways, stop making small talk! You're getting all these truth points and we're not even getting anywhere! Brad," the ex blinked, "how did things end between you two? By the way, who ended them?"

"Shelly dumped me when she walked on me in bed… with another guy… in our apartment." He bit his lip. "It was pretty bad."

"Why don't you get revenge, man? You don't like her still, right?"

Brad turned completely away from Shelly as a bitter feeling built up. "I want revenge, don't get me wrong. I really wish she'd let me explain things. But I'm not about to go outta my way to make her miserable, 'cause I mean, what would that solve?"

Shelly gave a small smile and leaned back, feeling a lot safer than she had a couple of moments before. "Thanks, Brad. Maybe we could talk after this?"

Brad and her shared a genuine smile. Not keen on the idea of the homosexual who was recently hitting on him deciding to switch teams to get with his hot blonde, Chris decided to meddle ever so slightly. "What makes her tick man? She doesn't like snakes, I know that much."

"Aw man, she _hates_ snakes!" Brad said, laughing at the memories and overlooking Shelly's crestfallen look. "Her bros used to always throw their python on her when she slept and apparently she'd freak out when she woke up! And, dude," Brad was laughing hysterically at this point, the memories flooding back, "she has this weird thing where she spazzes if feet touch her! Her reaction is _priceless_! And –"

**Shelly: **_**Her arms are crossed and she just let's her head shake. "I've always thought of myself as an optimist. But between Chris probably getting a new stash for his candy and Brad mouthing off about my deepest darkest secrets, I'm starting to understand how emo kids feel."**_

**Brad: **_**"I feel bad, 'cause I mean I just let loose everything I knew about her in nothing flat. It was great to share though. I thought I'd never get to tell anyone about those great stories! And… and… crap. Shelly probably hates me now. Again." He sighs.**_

* * *

Al wasn't keeping tabs on people, put she was pretty sure she hadn't seen Shelly or her ex-guy since they got there. She was able to remember not seeing her friend when she stepped off the dance floor, got a drink, and tried to relax for a few minutes before heading back out. Feeling worried, she ditched the bar and went over the booth she remembered seeing Lauren at. Glad to see she was still there (with Lena and Andrew no less) she slid in and waved. "Hey guys! Have you seen Shelly?" she shouted over the music as best she could. Her throat was sore from singing along to every song that had played thus far.

The trio shrugged, though Lena did lean in and say/shout, "I saw Cody take her and Brad somewhere. Probably to the VIP room. I hope they're alright, they've been gone a while!"

Andrew raised a brow. "I'm sure they're fine, Lena. What could happen to them in a VIP room if Chris and his security team and camera people are there?"

Lena smiled. "Well, if Chris is there, I bet that means the challenge is held in there. And a game like Truth or Lie sounds like he's trying to get dirt or something."

"Yeah, I can see him with, like, a polygraph machine or something!" Al joked. She shared a laugh with Al, neither noticing Lauren or Andrew's paranoid expressions. Though as Lauren was looking away, she noticed a familiar face. "Oh gosh, is that who I think it is?"

Lena and Al looked around. "Who? What? Where?"

Eventually, their eyes landed on a sore sight: Leila Claires flipping her pretty hair as boys lined up around her.

"Huh," Lena said curiously. "I wonder what she's doing here."

As they were looking at her, Shelly and Brad stormed over to their booth. "Al, go get Andy and I'll take you to the VIP room," Shelly said looking uncharacteristically angry. Brad was behind her waving her hands screaming apologies and going on about how he should get to explain that, too.

Al nodded slowly, trying to spot him. "Sure, is everything okay? What happened?"

Shelly growled and gave Brad such a fiery look that he shut up and took a step back. "_I don't think you wanna find out as badly as you think you do_."

* * *

As Chris explained the rules to his next victims (Al and Andy), LeShawna was giving the scoreboard a day dreamy sigh. Under Brad and Shelly's name on the wall behind the official board were the former couples names. The last ex-couple, Brad and Shelly, had gotten a Lie to Truth ration of 1:19. That was pretty impressive, though since Brad basically had no problem getting distracted enough to go on about Shelly's secrets, it was also _very bad_.

Once again, she was questioning the girl's dating kinks.

At least Chris was going to be reasonable enough to give everyone else a heads up on the challenge when they came in. Unlike the first pair, the rest of the couples would be filled in on the situation so they could act accordingly. Was it fair? Not really, but as far as playing by Chris's rules went it was as kind as he'd get.

"So hold up bro, lemme rephrase what you just said," Andy said, twitching around beneath the wires that linked him to machines he couldn't pronounce the names of. "So if I lie, the ho get's affected?"

"Yup!" Chris said. Al banged her head to the back of her seat and wished he had her headphones in to calm her down a bit.

**Al: **_**"So… if I have to rely on Andy to tell the truth to win, I'm one-hundred percent sure I'm going to be up for elimination tonight." **_

"Okay, we'll start off easy –" LeShawna began, hoping to cut Al a break.

"Oh, no need for _that_," Chris pressed. "These are state of the art! I wanna just cut to the good stuff."

"By all means," Andy agreed.

"'_By all means_,'" Al repeated quietly in a deep cocky voice before snorting.

**Al: **_**"And if I don't go home, the stories Andy'll share will leave me so emotionally scarred I'll be wishing he would've lied. One or the other, there's no way I'm coming out of this happy."**_

"So, Andy my man," Chris started sweetly, "what's something Al over here wouldn't want me to know that you know?"

With the same look a doctor had on their face when they were telling the family their loved one didn't make it, Andy whispered, "Dude, she's so _not_ here for you."

Al's head perked up. LeShawna snapped out of her daydream. Chris arched a brow. In unison, the three chorused together a shrill, "WHAT NOW?"

Andy nodded looking completely serious. The worst part was when a small one popped up on the score board. "I thought she liked me too. Y'see, I'm a lead singer of a big local band back home called Madame My Name is Glory. Catchy, huh? It was supposed to be called Madame My Name is Al, but she didn't want her name in it… she even came up with the title, but that's an inside story…." Andy's eyes glazed over, as if he was remembering a time in his life. Way back to when he wasn't a douche. "I used to party with Al all the time back when we were friends. She was a funny drunk…."

Al cursed herself for blushing at the memory of trying to figure out a name for his band. It wasn't her fault they took her out to a restaurant and the waitress kept pestering her for her name! Chris tapped his chin absently. "Uh-huh, yeah, so how does your band fit into her not being here for me? What the heck is she here for?"

"She's here for fame, obviously." Andy nodded towards himself. "As I said, I'm talented and famous. And I mean the only reason she's sooo into music is because I got her into it with MY band. I think she got jealous, 'cause then she had to go start her own shit band. She took all our gigs and everybody freakin' loves her stuff, but she just did it to get to me."

"For the thousandth time," Al grumbled, "I didn't start a band to overshadow yours, I just wanted to make my own stuff with my band mates. It's not all about you, Sellout."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" he roared, wriggling against his wires even more. "You started your band after you dumped me for having groupies!"

"Not so much having groupies as much as _having_ groupies," she pointed out coldly. "And your personality did a one-eighty when you started getting more of a fan base. You went from my childhood best friend to my first love to a total dick!"

"I was going to ask you to marry you at my next show and you dumped me!" Andy argued back. "You were everything to me and you threw it right back in my face! Face it, you used me to get ahead and once you got what you wanted you shoved me aside."

LeShawna tapped her desk to get their attention. "Before you two rip each other's heads off, did you just say you wanted to marry her? Isn't she kinda young?"

Andy shrugged. "We were nineteen, sure. But I thought she was real for me. She wasn't."

It was all silent as everyone muddled in the exchange. Al coughed, and an audible 'Sellout' could be made from the slurs, which ignited _another_ argument.

"Chris, come on!" Andy croaked, turning to the host desperately. "We were bro's right off the bat! I wouldn't lie to you – you're proof's on the screen! Al here is nothing but a –"

"SHUT UP!" The aggression behind that had everyone turning to see Al's face streaked with tears. Even Chris had stopped enjoying the fight to see that she was so upset. She was always so smiley and sweet he didn't even know she could cry. "You believe I used you because you can't imagine me being anything but a jerk, but it isn't _really_ true. I came here for love. I found it in Chris. So back off and stop trying to ruin everything."

She looked to Chris, her face drenched. She was hurt to see him looking thoughtful and nodding at her ex like they had just made a pact. "Chris, tell me you're not buying this!"

"It's all good to hear, but actions speak louder than words," Chris mused. "Besides, bros over hos."

"Amen to that," Andy agreed. He seemed absolutely thrilled that he had won. Despite the fact that the Truth board was filled and there hadn't been one lie, he'd done his damage. She'd be going back home with him tonight no questions asked.

Al bit her lip and sat sulkily in her chair. Deciding she was through with it she fought against the wires and bolted out of the room, all thoughts of finishing up the challenge gone from her thoughts.

**Al: **_**She's writing something on the wall and she twists and sits back down. Behind her, Maddie's name in her message was scribbled out and another word was written above it. Instead of 'Maddie + Chris = 3' it now read 'Sellout + Chris = 3.' She put her headphones back in despite the club music blaring and flashed the peace sign. "Screw this, I'm going to wait in the limo to go home. There's no way I can stay and have fun now." She looked down at the marker and left it behind the toilet as she dodged out.**_

* * *

Andy came out and headed straight to the bar. Luck for him, he had been released just as LeShawna had started to come over to him and try to rip him a new one. To add to the fun factor, he just gotten some serious revenge. Nice. It turns out that even though he knew Al was there for love, he had somehow convinced himself to believe she wasn't, and lo and behold it worked. So much for a top notch polygraph machine.

"Hey, how'd it go?"

Andy turned around to see Maddie smiling up at him, and he had to admit he lost his breath. The girl was seriously _hot_. She had a sheen of sweat on her and she was looking up at him for answers… heh, he could give her some answers all right. "Fine. Well, on my end at least."

During their dancing and idle chat, he'd managed to show Maddie a side she must've trusted – his _old_ side – because she seemed to see him as a friend. She worried her bottom lip and Andy resisted the urge to do it for her. "I guess that means Al did bad on whatever the challenge was?"

"Ohhh yeah," Andy told her, taking a sip from his drink. "Real bad."

Maddie shook her head. "Dammit all! I mean, I obviously want to win, but I love Al to death! I hope she doesn't get sent home. She's one of my closest girls."

Andy nodded, an idea coming to mind. He leaned in and decided to try and ruin Al's reputation with her friend in case his ex stayed. "Y'know, she isn't really here for Chris. Which is why she probably _will_ be sent home tonight."

Maddie blinked. "Huh?"

He nodded. "It's all true. You see, Al just wants fame. She's just a sellout." He felt victorious are using her nickname for him against her. He leaned in slightly, and shook his head. "Not like you… though I can't help but wish you weren't here for him… though if you stay or go, I can promise you'd win me if you don't mind sneaking off to a back room…" He leaned fully down and pressed his lips to hers, sealing his promise with a kiss.

Though it came to an abrupt halt as Maddie shoved him back, his spine snapping against the bar.

"You… you dirty rotten bitter _bastard_," she snarled dangerously. "I may not have known Al as long as you, but I know her better than you. She's not like that and if she gets sent home tonight unfairly because you lied to Chris – "

"You'll what?" He said, coming down to kiss her again.

Halfway down she somehow managed to take the heel of her shoe into his crotch. He doubled over into the bar stool in pain as she crossed her arms. "I'll do that, _but with a sharp object_. Now go crawl in a hole and get over yourself, you _creep_."

Andy was crying, not handling the pain or rejection very well. "B-but I thought –"

"You thought wrong. And kiss me or anyone else again, and forget kicking, I'm just going to starting pulling things off."

He cringed and back away. "You – you heartless _bitch_!"

She looked down at him, thoroughly disgusted. "If I'm a bitch, what does that make you?"

* * *

It was confirmed: LeShawna hated Chris Maclean. It was a conformation she willingly shared with him in a loud, echoing voice.

"She was torn apart!" she told him, talking on behalf Al who could've been anywhere by now. "And you just sit there and smile. You are a snake in the grass if I ever saw one."

"It's called ratings," Chris explained for the umpteenth time. "How I actually feel has nothing to do with it."

"Oh yeah? Well – she froze, taking his expression in. Chris was rubbing his forearms uncomfortably and he was training his eyes on different points in the room every other second. Almost like he was a guilty man. LeShawna finally smiled for the first time since Al left. "_Oh_," she said knowingly.

The host scoffed. "'Oh' what?"

"You feel bad. You're not as much of a sadist as you used to be, are you?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "I don't _feel bad_. I'm worried about the equipment she may have ruined when she left!" He just about rolled his eyes as LeShawna rolled her own at his pathetic excuse. "Whatever, where's the next pair? I thought I told Andy to send in Roxie and Steve? What's the hold up?"

On cue, the door squeaked open and revealed a limping Andy, who was holding himself securely and looking as depressed as Al had. He ushered Roxie and Steve in before crawling away.

"Who mauled him?" LeShawna asked. "He wasn't in good shape. Not that he deserves otherwise…"

Roxie and Steve shrugged. "No clue."

A snap of Chris's fingers summoned the Polygraph Helpers and moved the plot right along. "LeShawna, how about you give the whole rule explanation thing a go? See if you learned anything yet." LeShawna did so (while making sure to substitute an insult for Chris's name whenever possible), giving Chris some time to think. He shouldn't care that the girls were looking so upset by the time they left. He needed to harden up.

He caught Roxie's sapphire blue eyes searching him out across the room and he offered a hint of a smile. It dropped when he realized it was there. No way was he changing his mind and risk hurting feelings. It was all a part of the process. He just needed to stop caring so much, or he'll damage his reputation.

"- and that's it." LeShawna finished, throwing a haughty glance to her co-hort. "You can start being a tool now."

"Thanks!" he said, not the least bit offended. "Because LeShawna here wants to jazz things up a bit, I'll ask a different sort of invasive question. Hey Steve, you first. So Roxie's hot, rich, and has the whole Dancin' Queen thing going for her. So why the hell did you let her go?"

Roxie smiled proudly. Steve wasn't so happy about the question. "Forget you, Maclean. I'm trying to get her back, but you and your stupid challenge isn't helping me." Before Chris could retort, Steve looked over at Roxie desperately. "Listen, sexy, I know I screwed up, alright? But really, enough is enough. You've had your fun but it's time to get back to me."

"How'd Romeo here blow it?" Chris asked the brunette beauty.

She looked away from her ex and huffed at the memory. "I caught him having dinner with a pretty little strawberry blonde… _after_ he deciding to bail out on one of the biggest dance competitions of our careers."

"Sure, blame me," Steve said. "If I remember correctly, you seduced a few judges while we were dating." He leaned in a bit to the direction Chris was sitting across from him. "She's good at seducing to get what she wants. Not that it'll matter to you since she's not going to be hanging around with a loser like you for very long, but still."

Chris pouted. He was _sooo_ not a loser. The only thing that made it better was the screen flashing red.

"I didn't seduce them, remember?" Roxie's screen was green. "After making love to me the first few times he tried to get me to 'persuade' the male judges. It wasn't my style, but we joked about it. I didn't realize how serious he was!"

"It's in the past," he said without batting an eye. "So you want me back yet or what?"

"Why are you so bent on getting her back?" LeShawna asked, honestly curious. "It's obvious she don't want you."

He laughed. "Seriously? I'm hot, she's hot. We'd get so much publicity for our work – besides my love for her, of course."

"Say what now?" LeShawna interrupted, glaring at his red screen. "Oh no baby, don't you go running your mouth off like that when I'm around!"

**LeShawna: **_**"Well somebody's gotta keep these jerks in line!"**_

**Tawni: **_**She's shaking her head at the message written behind her. She grabs the marker and crosses out Sellout, writing her name over it. "Tawni plus Chris equals heart," she reads off. "Has a nice ring to it."**_

By the end of the 'interview' Roxie and Steve's score was the lowest. All the lies, of course, had come from Steve when LeShawna was busting him for being a dirtbag to Roxie when they were dating. She hadn't realized what she'd done until it was a little too late.

"I'm sorry, girl!" she told Roxie, hugging her before she left the room to coax in the next people. "I'm sure Chris won't send you home anyways! Right, Chris?"

"Your words, not mine!"

Roxie smiled anyways and patted LeShawna's arms. "It's alright. I've obviously got bigger problems. I think Steve's onto the fact I actually like Chris and I'm not going back to him. I just hope he doesn't tell my dad about this show. He doesn't exactly know yet."

"What're you two whispering about?" Chris hollered. "At least wait to gossip when the camera's are close enough to catch you!"

As a camera man ran over, Roxie and LeShawna split up. Chris had enough dirt.

* * *

"So you aren't going to get back with me?"

The moment Roxie and Steve had made it back into the club, he was acting immature. He had his foot beating against the floor and was hovering over her, daring her to fight him.

"No," she told him hotly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to find Ren and Dawn. Then I'm going to go dance. And please, stop trying to pressure me into a relationship with you. I don't want to screw things up with Chris. I really do like him, Steve. Please respect that."

She took off for her friends and Steve slouched. Well that sucked. But he shrugged it off. There were plenty of other foxes he blew off when he got here that might not like Chris as much as his ex. Like the girl who was talking about saving the whales or whatever was pretty fine. Or maybe Leila Claires – he heard she was here tonight.

* * *

"I'm pretty much an alcoholic."

Dom, Dawn, Krissy, Ren, and Alix stared blankly at Patrick as he downed another shot like it was no problem. Yup, he was definitely not a lightweight. He had been challenged Andy to shots after Andy decided to stop walking and just stick to sitting at the bar.

"So you mean you get drunk whenever you go out to a club or party?" Dom asked, hopeful that he limited his time with alcohol.

"Sometimes. And sometimes I drink at home alone for the helluvit," Andy admitted, his words slurring together slightly. "Yup. I get drunk alone."

"That's the worst kind," Alix said sympathetically. Dawn nodded solemnly.

"Shut up," Krissy argued. "What's wrong with drinking every now and then?"

"Moe, drinking alone is a serious sign on alcohol dependence." Dom looked down sadly. "It's how my mother's alcoholism started. It's sad how people don't take addiction more seriously."

"Oh blah-blah about _that_." Krissy rolled her eyes. "That's such a lame story, Dom. You must've complained about your mom drinking to me, like, a thousand times already. Grow a pair already, God."

"Sorry," Dom said softly, looking like a lost puppy.

Dawn shook her head. "What? No, Dom, don't apologize. That's your life. It's alright to talk about it. And I completely agree, people don't take addictions as seriously as they should." Ren dropped his glass onto a table and shoved it away. Alix smiled wide, giving a thumbs-up to his soda.

"Hey Dawn, Krissy, guys," Roxie greeted sounding a bit rushed. She had struggled through the crowd to find the art student. "I'm going to take you and Ren to the VIP room."

That got Krissy's attention. Before Dawn could blink Krissy had shoved her to the side to talk to Roxie. "Oh, so what's the challenge exactly?"

Roxie helped Dawn stand up straight and gave Krissy a stern look before answering. "I'm not allowed to say, but it really isn't anything to get excited about." Out of the corner of her eye Roxie caught Steve seducing a few girls. She smiled, realizing she felt more sad for them being so easily fooled than she did herself for being betrayed by him. Her feelings for Chris were strong enough to overcome her cataclysmic relationship with her ex. She never felt more sure of him than then.

* * *

As soon as Ren and Dawn came to the door to the VIP room, Roxie promptly took off to go back to the dance floor with all the other girls and more friendly ex's. Ren poked the door a few times and looked at Dawn with blank eyes. "Um, so what now?"

Dawn grabbed the doorknob. "Now we go in."

He grabbed her wrist and put it back by her side, shaking his head. "Nah, I don't think that's exactly how it's supposed to work. It seems to obvious. And this Chris guy isn't going to make things easy." Dawn opened her mouth and he shushed her. "Trust me on this, my instincts with stuff like this is always spot on. Let's just wait here until _he_ comes get _us_."

**Dawn: **_**She's drawing on the wall, talking with her back to the camera. "I'm not sure I can picture Chris holding doors open to welcome us in to any of his challenges. Actually, I can see him making me hold the door so he can walk through." She chuckles as she caps her marker and places it back down. "Ren's request – more or less an order, I admit – made me wonder what would happen if I went against the typical routine. Maybe make Chris come to me? It's a different way of thinking, but I'm interested to see where it goes." She shrugs and leaves. The bathroom wall now reads "Dawn + Chris = 3." To send a stronger message, a sketched man with great hair and shining teeth is holding hands with a shy-looking girl with a faux hawk and glasses.**_

It took a total of six minutes before Chris grew impatient.

Chris leered at LeShawna, who had her arms crossed and was leering right back at him. He nodded to the door. "You wanna go find out what's taking so long?"

The teenager brought her attention to the current scores. "Don't go making dragging me into your issues. Girls gotta stick together – you know how it is."

"Don't drag you into my issues?" Chris repeated, his jaw slack. "You're helping with a challenge. I think you're an _official_ middle party."

"You're crazy," was her only answer. "You want to get something done you man up and do it yourself."

She was challenging his masculinity now, was she? He rose up, flexed his muscle for the camera nonchalantly, and went over to the door to prove he could get things done. He opened the door and saw Ren pacing outside the door and Dawn waiting calmly.

"He ain't coming out Dawn!" Ren told her, but choked on his words when he saw Chris standing at the door. Chris smiled at a job well done on his part and showed them both in before slamming the door shut behind him. "You two get in those chairs and our well-paid assistants will strap you in."

Ren stared at the seat and his eyes went wider as Dawn causally did what was asked of her. "So wait – Chris, you're into bondage and stuff? Is this even allowed to be shown on TV?"

LeShawna shook her head. "He's not going to strap you in and take advantage of you if that's what you're thinkin'." Ren nodded in understanding and sat in the seat as Dawn had, letting himself get wired without a complaint.

**Ren: **_**"I don't think this Chris guy is right for Dawn. From what I've seen on his shows and from being here, I wish she'd just leave him and come back to me." He shakes his head solemnly. "But I had to go and screw any chance of that happening over already, didn't I?"**_

"As you're getting strapped in I'll fill you in on the details." Chris motioned to the wires with his hand. "Obviously you two crazy kids are going undergo a _lie detector test_. It's an advanced, right? Right. So I've got only twenty questions to spare, and to make sure Small Town here remembers she's in a _com_pe_titi_on, we're going to compare the amount of truths to lies you both have. So say you guys lie a total of… let's say nineteen times and tell one truth. Well then, consider yourself up for elimination next to two other ladies who like to lie. Or maybe there guy likes to lie. But really, does it matter?"

**Dawn: **_**"So he's fine with holding myself accountable if Ren decides to lie? How does this help us get closer, again?"**_

The host gave a smile to Ren, his teeth sparkling with brilliance. "So, Ren –"

"Wait a minute, why are you asking me stuff first?" Ren asked defensively.

Chris looked over at Dawn, who gave him a worried look and stretched her sights to the ground, her eyes drained of expression. Hm, so it would seem there's a secret between them that neither want to bring up. Chris nodded knowingly. "I know what's up here."

Ren sat up straight. "What? You do?" He looked at Dawn with hurt in his eyes. "Why would you tell him about her? You're not the type of person to do that."

Dawn shook her head. "I never said anything about her, Ren. That wouldn't be right and it has nothing to do with me anyways. Your personal life isn't really my business anymore. And I wouldn't do that to her, she's so young."

Chris's head was a whirl of confusion. "Whoa, I back up! I was thinking you two were still married or something. But there's another chick involved? Are you people polygamists or something?"

Ren tried to come up with a response but was too flustered to think of one. Still, his stuttering was apparently cute enough for several camerawomen giggle. Dawn's chest was feeling tight at the accusation as well. "Chris, that's far off. Trust me on this one, its' _way_ far off."

Chris took her word (and confirmed it with the green screen) and he nodded, his smile still bright on his face. "Heh, right, I was just pulling your legs. Hehe… eh… yeah, so, back to this secret young girl! Wait, young girls?" His eyes squinted and he leaned towards Ren's direction, whispering, "Do you, like hurt little girls? 'Cuz I mean I'm not a fan of kids or anything, but even I know where to draw the line, man."

The ex tensed. "What? No! God you're nasty. Who'd even _think_ of that?"

"Hey you can't be too careful! If killers can get on reality shows, I guess other freaks can too **[2]**."

"If you want to get to know Dawn why don't you just stick to asking her questions about her not me?" Ren questioned. "Why bother getting to know that I was held back to graduate with her –" Dawn rolled her eyes, Chris chuckled – "instead of stuff like why she has a Ms. Independent Complex.

Dawn arched an eyebrow. "Ms. Independent Complex?"

Ren panicked, realizing he may have insulted her. "Oh, I meant that you like to do everything for yourself and you don't like people meddling with your stuff. Don't be upset, it's true. I couldn't even pay for you when we went on dates. We were going Dutch at the end of our relationship! I mean, what's wrong with letting the guy do the guy things every now and then?"

Chris had seen the face Ren was wearing before. He knew it well – it was a face he'd had on after many confrontations with girls he'd seen in the past. "You cheated."

Ren's head hung low, and he nodded. "I always flirt. It's my thing, it's how I talk to girls. But I got a bit too carried away with one girl. Dawn's mom introduced me to her best friend's daughter, and well… things got hot quick. I didn't know she was seventeen."

Chris scratched his dark hairs lightly spotting his cheeks. He needed to shave. "Seventeen, eh? Hey, that's practically legal. So I'm guessing she's the young chick you two wanted to hide from the big bad host?"

Ren was about to say something and Dawn answered for him. "Yes."

Chris knew she was lying without checking the screen. LeShawna gave a small, private shake in Dawn's direction to let her know she was caught.

The air got heavy after Dawn's answer and no one spoke. The only smile in the room was fitted to Chris's features. He tapped his table. "Daaaaaaawn. You're not telling the truuuuuth." He sang out.

Dawn shook her head. "Another time, Chris. This has nothing to do with me."

"Oh? But I think it does." Chris looked over to Ren, eyes narrowed. "You want to answer man? I count silence as lies. She'll be in the bottom for sure if you don't put it together."

Dawn shook her head at him. "It's fine, Ren. He won't send me home even if I got to the bottom."

A strange tension set Chris into the offensive. "Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?"

"Because she's the best damn thing and you'd be an idiot to mess up like I did and let her go," Ren said plainly. It was the closest thing to regret Dawn had ever heard in his voice. He was always so sure of himself, but this guy now looked ready to break. "I got the girl I cheated on Dawn with knocked up! I have a daughter with her. When Dawn's mom told her I was a going to be a dad, she ended things. She didn't know 'til then. She had every right to…" He snorted. "Yeah, I'm done talking."

Chris looked over at Dawn, who was watching her ex with too much compassion. She was either a good person or she cared about her ex, something that sent an ill shiver in Chris's stomach. He nodded to LeShawna to just ask some filler questions like she always did. Yeah, he was done talking too.

* * *

Katroina wasn't into the party scene. Usually because she ended up taking care of the 'victims' of a situation that had gone awry. Like right now for instance. While everyone was having the time of their lives booty shakin' and drinkin' and doing whatever it was they were doing, she was holding back some Leila Claires's hair as she threw her guts up in the toilet.

Well, truth be told, Dom was the one holding back the model's hair. He'd come across her looking a bit out of it and since Katroina had seen him struggling to help her she'd come over to see if everything was alright. She may not like Leila's personality, but she was still a person. It was around the time her and Dom were taking her to the girl's room that Leila decided to throw up on Katroina's shirt and fall slack.

Now Katroina was rinsing her shirt off as best she could in sink while wearing Dom's shirt. He insisted she take it, seeing how she couldn't walk around with a puke pattern all night and going shirtless was out of the question. So, as a gentleman should, he removed the clothes on his back and gave it to her before going into the stall to help out Leila, his back turned to give Katroina privacy in the empty bathroom.

He'd been so kind. She couldn't imagine why Krissy would let such a guy go. Not that he was her type, he was far too sweet. He felt more like a protective brother than a boyfriend, but still. He was a good match for any other girl.

"Katroina? Are you in here?" Dawn came in and she looked at the scene. Her friend cleaning her shirt while wearing a baggy green shirt and Dom rubbing Leila's back while she hurled and groaned into the toilet.

"This just might be a bit more awkward than talking about Ren's baby to Chris."

Dom looked up. "Whoa, Dawn, you're a mom? I had no idea you and Ren had a child! Who's she look more like?"

**Katroina**_**: "Dawn and Ren have a child together? Since when? I mean… she… has a kid?! I suppose that's the reason she didn't read my 'Wait Until Marriage' pamphlets I was handing out the first week we were there."**_

**Dawn: **_**"If I'm not getting stereotyped, abused, or misjudged then I'm guilty by association."**_

"No," she quickly clarified. "It's Ren's and another girls. Not mine."

"Oh," Dom said softly. "I'm sorry."

She smiled. "Don't be. Now, Katroina, I'm supposed to take you to the VIP room, but you look a bit busy…"

Katroina smiled serenely, giving her stained shirt a defeated look. "I'll follow you out in a second. Do you mind grabbing Alix real quick?" Dawn nodded and left so that Katroina could look over at Dom's back. "Do you mind if I borrow your shirt?"

"Keep it," he said, patting Leila's back still. "I don't mind. You could use it more than I could."

She thanked him and left, leaving Dom to sigh alone as Leila coughed and leaned into his chest. He smiled sadly at her, and tried to clean her mouth off with a piece of toilet paper. "You're one of those girl's who don't take addictions seriously enough, aren't you?" He got a groan for an answer.

* * *

Katroina wasn't into the challenge scene. She could do without being hurdled into physically and emotionally taxing tribulations on a sporadic basis for Chris's amusement and ratings. Sure she was expecting to undergo a lie detector test – every show had it these days as far as love was concerned – but seriously, was it necessary to be strapped down? From the aggravated look masking LeShawna's face, she could tell he wasn't going to respect his or Alix's personal information at any rate.

Her spirits only rose after hearing the challenge regulations. Despite relying on another person to be honest for her benefit and possibly being humiliated, she wasn't threatened with bodily harm. It was a step up for the host in her book. Maybe she was changing him after all.

Chris cracked his knuckles and gave Alix a look that made him shake in his chair, his wires rattling. "Say Alix, you don't look like you've ever been laid. How'd you get Katroina to date you if you've got no game?"

Alix shook more violently. His face was a more violent red than anyone's had been so far that night. "It's rude to kiss and tell, but just so you know, I've been across the Baseball Field."

LeShawna burst into laughter at the corny phrase. He must've been some sort of closet pervert, because the green screen was proof that he had been with at least one girl. Chris nodded. "Hm, not bad for someone who looks like they spend all their time playing Halo."

He shrugged. "I mean… it's really no big deal."

"So, how far have you got with Katroina then?"

**LeShawna: **_**"How did I not see that one coming?"**_

**Shelly: **_**She whistled innocently as she crossed out Dawn's name and replaced it with hers so the message now read 'Shelly + Chris = 3.' She also decided to draw an arrow and label the sketch of Dawn as 'Shelly after she dyed her hair and got a hair-cut and glasses.' "There. Muuuuch better."**_

Alix shook his head. "Oh no. I'm sorry but I refuse to go there. That's between Katroina and myself. I would never –"

"UHP UHP UHP! Denying me an answer, are you? That's a strike out in my book!" he tapped a few keys and had the computer count his answer refusal as a lie. "There. You give no answer, I give you no good credit. Fair?"

Katroina felt her face fall. "Actually it really isn't all that fair."

Chris blinked. "Oh. Well then, memo-to-self on that one. But it's really too late to change my ways now. So back to hassling the nerd! Alix, how far have you gone with Harvard?"

"I can't say!"

"Alix, how far have you gone with Harvard?"

"I refuse!"

"Alix, how far –"

"Chris, cool it!" LeShawna cut in. "He's not going to change his mind on this one. Just ask other questions."

Katroina sighed. "Thanks."

LeShawna smiled. "Don't sweat it. I do what I can."

Chris begrudgingly did as he was asked and looked at Katroina. "What's your name?"

"Katroina Geddes."

"What's up with the wardrobe change? I don't like you wearing Dom's stuff."

She debated, then said outright: "Leila threw up on me and Dom and I were helping get her in order. He gave up my shirt so I wouldn't be shirtless." Chris frowned and walked over, taking his shirt off. Before she could ask what he was doing, he had tucked his on over Dom's shirt and over the wires before going back to his seat. He casually went back to work.

"What're you going to school for?"

Katroina inhaled and smelled Chris's strong fresh cologne and his natural… how could she describe it… earthy scent. He reminded her of the woods. It fit. "I want to be a politician or an environmentalist. I hope to do something to help people and make real changes… and thank you."

"Don't mention it. It looks good. But anyway, what's Alix wanna do?"

The room may have been dim, but only Katroina seemed to notice his flushed chest. He was blushing. He must've been afraid she'd reject it. She smiled and thanked him again before answering, "He wants to be an engineer."

Chris felt dominance and pushed forwardly confidently. "You guys still friends?"

"Yeah, we had a mutual breakup. We're better off friends."

"Cool… So how far has he got with you?"

* * *

"_Oh baby, why did you have to lie to me?_

_I can't play no more games._

_These thoughts are slowly controlling me,_

_You're turning off the flame."_

The music broke into a loud boom, and Maddie waved at Tawni. She'd convinced the 'DJ' to play one of her favorite songs for her. She needed to bang her head and release the strain she was feeling from all the drama going on around her. The challenges, her ex, her friend's ex, Chris – she just partied it out. With a beat in her body and a drink in her hand, she was feeling better already.

Maddie didn't have it easy and she had a lot of regrets and mistakes to show for it. Too many regrets and mistakes. But she learned. She was good person, a smarter person for it. She wouldn't let her ex or any other idiot ruin her self esteem or her taint her optimism. The only guy that mattered now was the one who kept his promise and brought her to a club.

Now all Chris had to do was dance with her.

She felt someone yank her arm and she turned to see who the offender was only to see Katroina. She hadn't expected her to be in a middle of a mosh pit, so she gave her all her attention. Katroina yelled something, but it was too loud to make out what. Maddie thrust her drink into some random stranger's chest and grabbed Katroina's wrist to take her outside the crowd to where she could make out what was going on. "What's up, Katroina?"

"I'm taking you up to the VIP room. Alix is somewhere getting Berko now."

She nodded. The thrill of being with Berko wasn't too great, but Chris would be there. She tugged at Katroina's shirt and smiled fiendishly. "What did you do to Chris up there?"

Katroina brushed at the shirt. "It's not what you think. He only gave me his shirt because he was jealous of me wearing Dom's shirt." Maddie arched a brow and she shook her head. "It's nothing, really."

"I'll take your word for it," Maddie assured her, making sure to bop to the music before heading up the steps.

* * *

"Ya'll got that?"

LeShawna was given the mission of explaining how the challenge was going down. Berko had a vindictive air to him and Maddie just felt low. Besides stressing herself she understood in a much clearer light how awful Al must be feeling. Even she had to admit, this wasn't one of Chris's more fun ideas. And Berko wouldn't make things easier. Not that she expected him to cooperate to begin with.

"If it's alright with you, LeShawna, I want to start the questioning," Chris cut in.

LeShawna shook her head. "I figured you'd want to. Guess I can't stop you then?"

"Oh no, you can't. Don't believe me, go check your contract." Chris nodded to the blonde. "Maddie Babe, how's the club treatin' you? I figured it'd be pretty spot-on to your standards."

"It's sweet," she agreed. "I've actually never been to this one. Nice pick."

"I know, right?" he nodded. "And the music's real good tonight. I wonder who the DJ is?" Maddie snickered. She had a feeling he'd find out sooner or later. "What 'bout you, Berk Meister?"

"I hate to agree with It," he said, glaring at Maddie, "but it's aws. You pretty much own, man."

"Good to hear, good to hear. Anyways, onto putting you two in awkward situations and feel more embarrassed than high school ever could! But where to start, where to start…" He jabbed a finger at Berko. "You look trustworthy!" Maddie snorted. "So since I got nowhere with the last ex-couple, I wanna know with you guys: how far did you get with Maddie?"

Berko's eyes got dark. "We never did more than make-out."

Chris laughed. "Hehe, yeah right!" He looked at the green screen and his laugh burned out into an nervous cough. "Oh, bummer. How long were you two dating, again?"

"Four months."

His eyes brow's knit together as he made eye contact with Maddie, who looked back at him with confusion and anxiety. "No way. She's all passion and fun. I can't see her containing herself for a week."

"Yeah, me either. But she's a total cock tease. If you want a girl who'll put out, she's not the one to go for. All she ever wants to do is talk and shit. It's so lame."

Having been through this routine more times than she could count, Maddie hardened up and went into bitch-mode. "You only love girls when you think it'll get you into their pants. You're all good until you don't get what you want, you man whore."

His bloodshot eyes roved over her and he shook his head. "You're hot, you know? It's a shame you decided to keep your pants on because you wanted to get to know each other before 'taking that next step' or whatever." He seemed so clam at first, but he flipped and his voice was rising. "I might've wanted to sleep with you, but all you wanted to do was use me to get you ID's to go get drunk in clubs and hit on whoever showed interest. I'm the whore? At least I give what I put out."

"Can you blame me for wanting to be close to you?"

"We could've been close if you would've spread your legs open at least one God damn time."

"I am not listening to this!" LeShawna nudged Chris. "Go on, interrupt! Do your host business."

"Maddie, you got nowhere with him in four months?"

LeShawna dropped her head to the desk. Of course he only card about the sex.

Maddie was still on edge. "Is that all you guys want from me? A good fuck? Well you know, I'm a person. There's more to me than a gender and a hot set. You know what? You all can go to hell. Let the rest of my answers be lies, I don't care. Forget this shit."

Berko smirked. His ex was doing his job of sabotaging her for him.

Chris nodded slowly. "LeShawna, can you let Berko go and go get the next two? I wanna talk to Maddie for a sec."

LeShawna looked unsure of herself as she actually did what he wanted. Berko made sure to fist-bump the host and remind him that they were tight before following the former TD contestant out. Maddie hadn't removed her glare from Chris, who was just studying her from where he sat. Eventually he got up and went towards her to undo her straps, making sure to stroke her skin and get as close as he could before he untied her arms and let her ram him away. When she was free he rested on his knees and looked up at her. She crossed her arms and carried on with her glare. "You're a dirtbag," she said. "You're just how you seem."

"You're not how _you_ seem," he quipped. "Why're you all touchy-feely if you don't want to be?"

"I do want to be," she countered hotly. "I just want something deeper before I just go 'all the way' or whatever. I take it seriously. But if I want something, I go for it. Like right now."

She leaned down and kissed him fully on the lips. His hands went right to her neck, clasping his fingers together and taking her head to a comfortable angle. She melted on the spot and leaned in closer, sinking from her chair to his lap. He stopped the kiss to flick her hair off her forehead and place a kiss on her roots. "This might shock you, but I'm glad you're like that."

Maddie's jade green eyes brightened. "Really? I don't believe that."

He nodded and helped her up. "No, really. It's not like I'm a sex addict… well, a confirmed one anyways… or I did the show to find someone to feel up. Wanna know a secret?" She nodded, smiling at him as she hooked her arms around his waist and he did the same. "I didn't even want to do this crap show."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't need this to find a girlfriend." He considered her and smiled genuinely. "But it could be worse." He broke into a laugh. "By the way, since you called the challenge off you only got one truth in since I only asked one question. You're def on the bottom, babe."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guessed as much. I was pretty pissed." He laughed more. "Yeah, you were."

Maddie debated letting him know something before sighing and giving in. It might work against her, but she wouldn't be like Krissy and be a jerk just to assure a win. "You know, Al's here for you."

He nodded, swaying with her to the music they could barely hear coming from the club. "I know. I'll take care of that later."

She nodded into his chest, realizing her cheek was brushing against his chest. She arched an eye brow up at Chris. "Nice outfit change, by the way."

He nodded. "Thanks," he said.

**Maddie: **_**"There's no competition between Chris and Berko. I've made more progress with this self-acclaimed sadist then any boyfriend I've ever had."**_

**Krissy: **_**She's swaying around the marker, trying to write things on the wall. She puts her marker down and nothing but scribbles around the project has been added. "Everything's blurry. I have no ideas whats is ups theres," she says, her words hard to make out and she added syllables and 's's at random. "I can'ts figures out what I wrote, either." She blinked and went into a giggle fit. **_

* * *

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

It was an innocent enough question. One Dom had been asked from many people before in his life. He stared down at the pretty little sex symbol cuddled in his arms, giving him a pained look. She looked like she had a rough night before she decided to attempt getting smashed.

He rubbed her shoulders and leaned against the wall of the stall. "I'm just trying to do the right thing. You're hurting and you're sick. Just focus on feeling better."

She nodded slowly and curled into his chest. He was certainly fine, that was obvious. Though he wasn't as hot as Chris or a lot of her other boyfriends, he had a cuteness factor they hadn't possessed. He was too soft is what it was. "Chris is such an asshole," she admitted to this total stranger.

"Who? Chris Maclean?"

She nodded, suspicious of how he guessed so fast. But she went with it anyways. "Yeah, him. It reminded me this photo shoot I had to do where I was Desdemona and this guy had to act like some pissed off Othello. He was a total douche on _and_ off the camera. Just like Chris Maclean."

"Oh… well, my friend's on the show. I'm her ex, so I'm here to help her with the challenge." He rubbed his neck. "But if he's not a good guy, maybe I should let her know…"

"Really? Who's ex are you?" she asked.

"Moe's. Er, Krissy's."

She nodded. "She's a total bitch."

He sighed. "There really is more to her than what she let's on. She's just misunderstood."

Leila gave a hallow laugh. "So you're into bad girls, huh?"

"Not really. Though I was friends with her when we were younger. She changed, but I really like the person she used to be. I think it's still down there somewhere. I thought dating her would bring it back out but she dumped me since I wouldn't… well… do anything with her."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. I didn't want to take advantage of her. No matter how willing she seemed for anything I couldn't help but see her as someone who was confused and didn't really know what she wanted. Stupid huh?"

It was true. He was too soft. This realization had her curled up and crying in his chest not even seconds later. Why couldn't she be good like him? Was this why she couldn't have love and be happy? And here he was: this loser – this common nobody she just met – wasn't even trying to take advantage of her. He was just being a nice guy. Was he gay or something?

"So Chris doesn't like you," he cooed. "You could say that for everyone but one girl who'll win the thing. You see the thing is this is a show and life doesn't end when you're time on it does. If he is your true love, well then you'll get together one day. If he isn't then you'll find that lucky guy. Trust me. Sweet girls like you don't stay on the market very long."

Sweet? He's _condoling_ her? What possessed him? "… Do you know who I am?"

"I think you look familiar but I'm not sure. I heard a new friend of mine here who helped me get you in the bathroom call you Leila Claires though."

She laughed. "You don't keep up with pop culture, do you?"

"Not really," he admitted.

She considered him for a moment then asked, "Say, what's your name anyways?"

"Dominic Henry," he said. "But most people call me Dom. You can too, if you want."

She smiled, and her heart felt warm looking at him. The moment was ruined as Krissy entered the bathroom and tripped over to the Confessional Stall. Dom watched her with worried eyes and they widened in concern as she slurred whatever she was trying to say. As she came out she looked at him and waved. "I wanna go home. Chris can meet me there."

It took a while for him to figure out what she said, and he tensed. "What about the challenge?... You know _forget_ the challenge, you look really wasted. I'll take you back to his place."

Leila panicked a moment. The thought of her new boy toy leaving didn't feel right with her. What did she feel? Jealousy?

"I have to go," he told Leila, slowly setting her to the stall wall. "I'm sorry to leave you like this –"

"What if I took her back in my limo?" Leila asked suddenly. She couldn't believe she offered to do something for someone else. When had that happened?

He looked her over and nodded. "Thanks. That'd mean a lot."

He hooked both the girls on either arm and hauled them up and through the crowds. Leila smiled and snuggled into his arm. Oh yes, she was glad she came back.

* * *

It was the secret to success. He had to be just like _that_ guy. Here was some average looking schmo with two hot girls on either arm. They were both leaning against him like they wanted o get closer. And – wait, was that Leila Claires and Krissy? Hold up, that was Krissy's ex! Everyone thought he was some sweetheart. Heh, they should see this. He must've had secret motives this whole time.

Berko tipped his glass to the three walking out, wishing for them to have as half of a good time as he was planning to have. The scene was enough motivation for him to decide to go find a pretty face and make with the haste. He felt bad for the hot sassy girl who had brought him out here. She was muttering something about needing Krissy for the challenge next.

He walked around for a bit when he spotted cute blonde with some pink highlights in her hair. She was talking at a booth to that Lauren girl, the hot environmentalist chick, and the ex for the hot environmentalist chick. There was some other guy there, but he could care less about him.

"Hey babe," he asked the girl with the pink highlights. "Wanna dance?"

"Watch how you talk to Charlie, man!" The guy beside her said, his eyes narrowed. Berko decided this guy must be her ex.

Charlie shook her head. "I'm not up for it at the moment, sorry."

Berko nodded. He looked over at Lauren. "Hey sexy, you've been down and out all night. How 'bout we –"

"Don't make me hit you," was the usually fun and laughing girl's morbid answer. The environmentalist patted her back sympathetically and Lauren gave her a small smile. "Thanks, Lena."

"Ohhhkay." He looked at the last girl – Lena – and was about to say something when her boyfriend looked like _he_ was about to _do_ something. "Okay, okay! I'm out. Sheesh you guys are frigid."

He figured he'd just have to bounce around more when he saw a sight sent from heaven just a few booths away: a hot girl sitting all alone. She looked familiar… Lea was her name, wasn't it?

"Hey baby," he said to the doll face, trying his best to sound seductive and manly. "How about we go spend some time alone in a room instead of you spending your time alone in a booth?"

She wouldn't meet his eye, opting to look around at anything but. "I would leave quickly if I were you. I can't say I'd be willing to save you from Daniel if you tried anything. You don't seem like the type to change without having sensibility threaten you."

He dropped down beside her, raking a hand up her leg. "Ah babe, I don't wanna change. Though I don't mind changing into my birthday suit, if you know what I mean –"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Berko's head snapped into the direction of a booming voice and his eyes broke wide open. It looked like the Hulk was fast approaching and people in his way were diving into the crowd to be out of it so he wouldn't punch them away. He was glaring directly at Berko, who gulped.

"See, now he's upset. It's because he's so possessive," Lea informed the shaking womanizer, who hadn't had enough sense to remove his hand from her thigh. As Daniel grew closer he got some wits back and he bolted up and away without a word to her.

"I'll be right back, Lea. Excuse me for leaving you alone again. Stay here." That was all her ex had time to say before he took off like a mad man after Berko.

Lea felt she was being stared at and saw Lena, Lauren, Charlie, Terrance, and Andrew all observing what happened from the corner of her eye. She sighed. Daniel really was setting up a dramatic panorama she'd rather not be associated with. Not feeling like having him cling to her again (it had taken a good hour before he felt 'comfortable' enough to leave her for two seconds to go get drinks) she just put her head into her palms and daydreamed about being with Chris in the VIP room. She had to get called up sometime this year, right?

* * *

When Chris wants something done, he generally expects it to be done how he wants it. His challenges were of upmost importance to him especially. When he wrote them up and actually had the order in which the girls would go figured out he wanted the notes to be followed down to the last dotted 'i.' This was why he frowned at LeShawna as soon as she brought in Serenity and Patrick.

"I remember wanting them to be after Dom and Krissy," he told her. "Where are Dom and Krissy?"

"According to the guy who just wanted some, he said they left. Well, I don't really know if that's what he said fer sure since he was running away from some guy who looked like he was about to rip him apart."

Chris was ready to dial her number in, have her eliminated – but something told him he'd want to get to the bottom of things first. Exploit her, _then_ eliminate her. "Fine, but all her questions count as lies then." He looked at Serenity and Patrick, who were already in the seats and waiting to be questioned. He looked at LeShawna skeptically. "I told them the rules coming up so we wouldn't waste more time. I want to be outta here as soon as possible."

**Patrick: "I was really hoping Chris would take advantage of me tonight, but I wasn't hoping it'd be like this!"**

"I'm sure you do," he muttered. "So, we know the deal already? Then I'm just going to ease right into things then. So Serenity, something I've been dying to know – why did you date a guy who obviously does not play for your team?"

"Whoa," Patrick interrupted. "I never said I was gay."

Chris, LeShawna, and Serenity all stared at him as he glared back. "Sugar, you just seem –" LeShawna shook her head. "We all assumed you were. We're sorry."

"I'm not!" Chris said hotly.

"Shush boy." LeShawna batted him away.

Chris pouted and looked at Serenity. "Fine, fine, whatever… so who ended things?"

"Patrick did," she admitted. "We were together three years, got engaged, then I noticed he was acting differently. One day about a year ago, I woke up and he had just up and left. But since every other aspect of my life sucks, I wasn't really shocked to have things get worse for me."

Chris tried to picture this guy before he started acting 'differently' and found he couldn't do it. "Well since your life is pretty much a fail what made you to apply to the show and try to get with me?"

**Serenity: "That seat was stiff as hell. And my arm itched where the tape-stuff was. But every time I tried to itch it those stupid weirdoes who put it there in the first place flipped out." She shrugs in defeat. "It's hard to focus on being interrogated when you're suffering."**

"In all honesty I didn't want to do this show."

Chris snapped his finer at her, laughing all the while. "Riiight. Who wouldn't want to be on a show and have a chance to get with me? That's a riot."

"Chris, I'm being serio-"

"Riot!"

"Chris, I'm telling the truth. My screen's gre-"

"_Ri_ot."

She rolled her eyes and dropped it. "Really. I was dared from a friend of mine to go on the show. And it was a great excuse to get away from my tortuous job for a while. But then I started to really like being here and started to really like you, and well…" She blushed and looked up away. "I guess you could say I'm glad I got to be here."

It was quiet and everyone was just letting her confessions sink in. Patrick decided to promptly ruin the moment. "She watches Max and Ruby."

"What's that?" LeShawna asked.

"Some kids show. And her anime addiction's pretty bad. Have you read her books she's writing, too? They're all dark and depressing, and –"

"Patrick, what the heck?" Serenity asked looking not-too please."

"Stop, I need to tell Chris what's up with you! I want him!" Silence. "I mean… I want him to know the truth about you!"

**LeShawna: **_**"She really doesn't have any secrets. He started to make stuff up after a while. And he pointed out she had boobs as a reason for Chris to not like her. I think… just maybe… someone's in denial? Just maybe?"**_

**Serenity: **_**She's writing on the wall and she sits down. It now has 'Serenity + Chris = 3' along with her name written above a crossed out Shelly's. "So I pretty much hate my life at the moment, but I don't think I'll be on the bottom. I just know I'm going to have to win tomorrow's challenge if I want to prove that I really want to be here. Stupid Patrick… and I don't see why he had to bring Max and Ruby into this!"**_

* * *

Andrew had given up trying to flirt with Lauren to make Lena jealous. He was just doing subtle little things to try and make his ex jealous for him, but she seemed either oblivious or too focused on taking care of her distressed friend to even notice. What upset him was how kind she was. They could be out dancing and having fun but she's here making sure this girl's not lonely.

He smiled. Actually her sweetness was one of the things he admired about her most. Still he hadn't gotten to take her out for a while now, so this passed up opportunity made him disheartened.

"Someone looks sad." Andrew looked over to see Patrick at his side an Serenity over by Lena. Andrew nodded to the guy. "Yeah man, I just want – " He froze as he felt a pressure on his knee. "Want to work some of that tension out?" Patrick asked him in a flirty manner.

"Andrew, c'mon! Time for you and I to go to the VIP room!" Lena said merrily, leaving the booth behind Serenity and motioning for him to tag along. Andrew coughed and jumped out of the table. "Yeah… uh, you have a fun night," he told the blonde and waved at Lauren.

Patrick growled. "Curse Serenity. She takes all the fun boys away!"

Laruen arched a brow then had a devious idea. "There should be some guy styling his hair in the bathroom right about now. His name's Jordan, if you want to know." She smiled victoriously as Patrick zipped off in a heartbeat.

* * *

Hearing about the challenge, Andrew knew he wouldn't want to look like scum and lie so he might have a slim chance at being the guy to go home with Lena. Seeing her follow the no-show host with her eyes, her lips curved without thought, made his blood simmer and turn his skin white hot. He was counting down the moments before he set the room on fire with his body temperature. There had to be a way to have Lena lose so she'd be with him without coming out looking like a bad guy! But how…?

"So I talked to Lena about you before, making you the only ex I really know decently," Chris said offhandedly, sizing up the fellow environmentalist. "She said you teach chem at the high school she teaches bio at?"

Andrew couldn't believe his ears. Lena talked about him to Chris? His skin was burning for a whole other reason now. "Yeah, it's true."

Chris's brown eyes darkened. "_I hate chemistry_."

Lena tilted her head in the same manner Chris did when he was thrown off. "Really?"

Chris laughed. "Nope. Not really. I like chem. Props to you bro."

Andrew laughed dryly. "Aren't you full of humor?"

**Lena: **_**The walls been changed… again. Now Lena's name is above a list of crossed out names so that she's the one equaling some love when added with Chris's name. Her name has also been written above the picture. To make sure she added her own touch, she put 'I love Lena' on Chris's shirt. "This is neat," she commented, smiling proudly at her altercations. "And now it's accurate, too." **_

"Of the highest quality, mind you. But this is isn't about me – oh, well let's be serious, it's always about me – but there needs to be a somewhat focus on you two, of course." He looked back at Andrew. "Lena's pretty much told me her life story, so I'll be honest. I don't know what to ask you."

"Sure, she told you her life story. So you mean to say you know that she snores?"

"Ohhh yeah." Chris winked at her, remembering all the times she fell asleep next to him on the roof.

A plan was forming now. Andrew would just have to bring out all the dirt he had on Lena so Chris would have no choice but to eliminate her. It had to work!... If only he had some dirt on Lena. "Um, she's eaten a hamburger before, you know. All of one. _Every_ bite. I'm sure a cow somewhere was crying over it."

"Actually, she's told me that, too." Lena nodded as Andrew looked over to her for verification. He couldn't fathom that she'd tell him that. She didn't tell anyone that. What alternate universe had he been dumped on?

A memory flashed in his mind. Something that might be enough to convince this idiot that Lena was not a good match for him. He was afraid of hurting Lena, but he had to do it… he had to pull out the big guns. "Oh, well ," he said in a friendly manner, not letting on how much he hated the host. "I guess since she's told you everything, you know about her criminal record."

The look of loss on Chris's face made it all worth it. "You said criminal record?"

Lena worried her lip. "Chris, I wanted to tell you myself! Andrew, let me tell him please. I was just waiting to do it alone together so he wouldn't think I was hiding anything."

"Oh no no no no, you had a shot. I wanna hear what Bambi Lover's got to say."

Andrew cringed. _Bambi Lover…_? "You know how Lena's an environmentalist of course considering you know everything else there could possibly be to know about her." He feigned shock, "To be honest, I'm a bit surprised she hasn't let you know that she ended up in jail a few times!"

"A few times?" Chris and LeShawna said simultaneously. They eyed each other wearily, finally on the same page.

"Oh yeah. She's protested and organized a bunch of sit-ins and stuff," he told Chris looking serious as can be. "She's familiar with the opposite side… of the law!"

…

…

…

"Hold up." Chris tried to collect his bearings. "You're telling me that she got sent to prison for protesting?"

"Yes I am." Andrew nodded firmly. "She just would not leave private property or forests, even when asked or give warnings. They could've gotten more violent. Maybe one day," he said ominously, "they will!"

…

…

…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Andrew sat stunned as Chris and LeShawna burst into fits of hysterics, clutching their stomachs and tearing up. He couldn't understand it! Wasn't this guy put off? At all?! Chris wiped his eye and nodded to Lena. "Guess you're pretty badass, even though that's really not that big a deal. Still, _that's so freaking hot_."

Andrew smacked his head against the back of his chair. There was just no getting rid of this guy.

* * *

Daniel looked slightly disheveled when he got back to the booth. He sat beside Lea and put his arm around his shoulder. She almost toppled over under his heavy arm. The guy lifted weights so often he probably was becoming one. She noticed his clothes flecked with blood and the red tinged on his knuckles. She sighed. "You just had to fight him?"

Daniel nodded. "Anything to keep _my precious_ protected."

Lea tried to shake herself free of him, but he just brought her closer. "Really, Daniel, it wasn't necessary to hurt him. He didn't bother me all that much. He would've left me alone when he realized I wouldn't cooperate."

"That's what that imbecile wants you to think," Daniel said. "You can't be so carefree, Lea. There are bad men out there."

"I'm not carefree," she said simply as if stating a random fact. "I just know that –"

"No, _you don't know_," Daniel said roughly, his free hand grinding his fingers into her neck so she'd look him in the eyes. "I'm here to protect you, Lea. You don't know that much when it comes to men."

Lea put her own hands to the wrist and tried to tug him off her face. She flatly stated, "I don't, do I?"

"No," he agreed. He took his hand off her face and smacked her hands away. She refused to let herself look down to see how red they were. "You broke up with me, after all. What a mistake that was."

"Yes, what a mistake on my part. How could I break it off with a guy who cares oh-so much about me?" She wished she could say something along those lines, but defending herself would be out of line. Her parents had selected this guy for her after all, and she never spoke out against him. Who knows what her parents would do if he told them she was uncivil towards him? Who knows how _he'd_ react?

Feeling helpless (and slightly annoyed), she bowed her head and kept blinking until the sting of tears in her eyes dissipated.

He pet her hair. "I forgive you,"

"Lea, Daniel?" Lena and Andrew cut-in. "You're turn to go up. We can lead you –"

"It's not needed, Ms. Greene," Daniel insisted. "I asked Cody where it was so I may take Lea up myself. Thank you, both of you, though." He smiled sweetly and, with his arm still around Lea, led her up.

* * *

"Hey man, I hate to break this to you – no, wait, I don't. Yeah, she's not dating you anymore, bro. _Hands off the possible love interest_."

Daniel had come in, arm still slung over Lea. One of Lea's hands was rubbing her sore neck. She was afraid it'd be red. The last thing she wanted was to be the source of drama. Daniel pecked the top of Lea's head (it was enough reason for Chris pout in his seat and whine to LeShawna) and the two split off to sit in their chairs. LeShawna explained the challenge and immediately following a few assistants came over to connect the wires to the former couple. "You're going to have to put your hand down real quick, hun," one of the assistants said. "We put a suction pad on the inside of your wrists."

"Oh," Lea said softly. "Alright then."

She brought her hands down and let them press it into place. Right after they left. Lea felt calm since they hadn't said anything, but the calamity crashed when she saw Chris narrow his below her chin. "Why do you have red marks on your neck?" He looked up at her, confused and – was that hurt in his eyes? Why would he be hurt?

"Daniel put them there," she answered honestly. His glare focused on her told her that if she said anymore she might get to see more of his bad side than she'd ever had before. A glimpse of it as he wrung out her neck was enough, thanks.

Chris leaned back in his chair, looking dejected. Than his eyes got cold and he smirked nastily. "I didn't think you were the kind of girl, Lea. Frankly I'm a bit surprised you'd let this guy go vampire on your neck after just meeting up with him again tonight. A bit loose, hmm?"

Lea sighed. He took it the worst possible way, obviously. "Actually, Daniel had not made these out of a romantic gesture, but rather he –"

"_Lea has been close to me all night,"_ Daniel cut in snobbishly. He glared at her, daring her to say anything against him. "We haven't left our booth until now. Isn't that right, Lea dear?"

Lea felt those familiar sting of tears and she looked up to a corner of the room, begging them to be gone. "That's right. But you interrupted me. I was saying that he had a grip on my neck to hard. Ergo red marks."

Her glossy eyes made Chris's insides swell. He didn't need to see the screen to know who was being honest.

"I didn't hurt you!" Daniel roared. "How could I hurt you when I love you?"

Love. She remembered when she thought she could love him. She remembered when her parents introduced them. They were smitten with the southern gentleman he was, and Lea was swept with how polite and perfect he'd been. He treated her like a lady and made her feel like royalty.

After a while, it felt too forced. She realized she wanted something that felt more real. She felt like she could never really relax around him since every time she tried to let her guard down he'd heckle her for being uncouth. It didn't take too long for her to discover some things out about him through some mutual friends.

She found out he was possessive, though she had already been getting stronger tastes of that side of him the longer they spent time together. She heard he wanted her for sex, something she was also starting to feel pressured into and thankfully hadn't caved into. What really set her off was she heard he was violent.

She tried to stay with him to please her parents, but it didn't survive longer than a month. She ended things in person in front of her parents, afraid of how he'd react in private. Yes, she thought she could love him. Then she found out who he really was.

She let her eyes lock onto Chris's in a rare moment of eye contact. She knew how it was with him. There were no secrets, he left everything on the table as she did. She knew she loved him, but she wasn't ready to say it aloud quite yet. She was afraid he could see how much she cared for him in her eyes. Could he see right through her? She trembled and looked away guiltily.

Chris blinked, mentally begging her to look back but she didn't. Why'd she turn away so quick? She had such nice eyes, he noted. Such a nice neck, too. A neck that was marked up thanks to the closet-abuser.

"You can go back in one of the limos, buddy," Chris shot out, his hands into tight fists. He'd love to try and take that guy on… but he knew he in situations like this, he'd pick the 'flight' in flight or fight. No way he'd look like such a wimp on his own show. He did the most manly thing he could while still keeping Lea out of harm's way – he just ordered him around. "We'll make use of the footage we have. I don't want you near Lea."

"Who are you to be so possessive over my Lea? She can make up her own mind!"

Chris snorted. "Yeah, you seem like the guy who'd let her do just that. Head back _now_."

Daniel smiled daringly. "Fine. Come on, Lea dear. We're going."

He didn't even get to touch her wrist when Chris was on him, knocking him over into a mess of chair pieces and wires. Lucky for the superstar, Daniel was too surprised too counter attack. Too surprised and wrapped tightly in wires. Oh, and he barely felt the punches, but that's not something Chris considered.

"'Bout damn time you did something! Beat his white ass in, Chris!" LeShawna cheered supportively. Lea blinked. She'd never thought in a million years Chris would put his pretty face at risk like that, nor did she suspect he'd do it for someone else. She'd have to smile about it later when the camera's weren't on her. God forbid she look like a sadist and smile away as her old love and her new love fought over her.

She snapped off the wires as best she could and came to the side to try and take Chris off Daniel. Daniel and he hadn't punched, more tried to shove each other around on the floor. So much for men having been gifted with apt fighting styles. LeShawna grumbled as security showed up and took Daniel back to Chris's mansion so he'd be there for when everyone else got back.

**LeShawna: **_**"I was hoping to see Chris beat that jerk's face in like he deserved and maybe get a hit at his pretty lil' face, too." She shrugged. "What? Can you blame me? He put me through shows from hell and made me eat Chef's garbage. Ain't no way I wanted him to come out as clean as he went in."**_

**Lea: **_**The wall behind her had her name over top of a freshly crossed-out Lena's in a large cursive font. She added a stick-figure KO'ed in the background. "It's the perfect romance-cliché, really. The guy saves the girl and it's true love from there on out. But I guess it works fine for me."**_

"LeShawna, can you go get the next couple quick?" Chris said breathlessly, frowning at the scratches and bruises on his arms and legs he got from the scuffle. "I want a minute with Lea."

"Sure thing. You kids have fun, but not too much fun, ya'hear?" she joked as she walked out, smiling wide.

Lea knelt beside Chris, looking at his 'battle wounds' as he did. "They aren't that bad," she commented. "I've seen Daniel do worse. At least he was too startled to really fight back. If he wasn't caught in wires or he saw it coming, you'd be as torn apart as I'm sure Berko is."

Chris arched a brow. "What happened to Berko?"

"… I'm not sure exactly."

Chris nodded and sighed as he checked himself over again. "God dammit, I'll be drenched in Neosporin and ice packs tonight. No way in hell these'll be here tomorrow, that's for sure." He rolled his sleeves down and looked at her grimly. "Does my hair at least look okay still?"

She laughed and reached into his back pocket where he usually had a small case of hair gel tucked away in. She rubbed it in her palms and styled his haphazard hair. "I have to thank you, Chris," she said as she laced her fingers through his brown locks. "I appreciate what you did, though you didn't have to. I never expected you to, either."

"That makes two of us," he said lowly. "If he messed my face up, I think I'd be suicidal about now." As she leaned over him, his smile tugged down to see red prints on her neck.

"I thought they were hickeys."

"I know, you said so."

They looked at each other dead in the eyes a second time that night. Chris leaned into her hands, which were still rubbing into his hair. He tilted his head up and nudged his lips to her red marks, pecking at it testily. She sucked in a breath, not used to such contact from Chris or any guy. He pressed her neck closer to his mouth and kissed her again, though more firmly. Unsure of how she'd react, he was careful to feel her response as she nipped her. She leaned closer and he felt confident enough to try out some other ideas he had. If the red marks are her neck weren't hickeys before, he'd change that. Now when she saw her marked neck she'd think about him instead of that other jerk. He was a giver like that.

* * *

They were the best of friends.

The closest of chums.

The ultimate tag team.

… Until they disagreed on something.

"Oh! And this one time, Chris and I were having dinner in his room and I accidently flipped my cranberry sauce at his shirt – and the look on his face was _priceless_. He's the only guy who can make looking like a total ninny hot. How he does it is beyond me, but hell I'll take it."

"Uh-_huh_," Vallen said. He managed to look bored with the topic in the energy-jammed room. "Is this that guy with the shiny wig?"

Tawni clicked her tongue. "Nope, no wig on _that_ head." She paused. "Well, I don't _think_ so anyways. Looks pretty legit. Hey, do you think these guys' would be up for Klaxons or what? I've been hooked on them ever since Al played me some Gold song by them –"

Vallen watched her search her playlist and he snorted. Sure the show seemed pretty awesome. Hello, all the mad awesome challenges he heard about were a guaranteed thrill rush. But to have to be _touchy-feely_ with Whats-His-Wig? Yeah, that's gag worthy.

Something whacked the side of his head and he winced back and grabbed whatever it was before it fell to the ground. He looked down at the object and blinked, trying to take it in. His lips spread into a grin – he couldn't believe it! This was the _best club ever_.

"Tawni! Tawni! Check this shit out!" He waved the thrown object at Tawni, who looked over at him. "It's a black bra! A _hot_ black bra!"

Tawni squinted her eyes. "Oh, lace. That's fancy. Now give it back to the girl so she can throw it to the guy she _meant_ to catch it."

"Haha, _you're_ just jealous you don't have anyone throwing bras at _you_!"

Tawni smirked fiendishly. She flicked the music down and tapped the mic to her lips. "Alright folks. The next person to throw a bra up at me in the next five seconds gets a free drink courtesy of Chris Maclean."

A mountain of colorful brassieres were piled all around the DJ booth as people (namely girls and Patrick) all gathered around the bar and leaving a bit of a gap in the dance floor where mostly guys were stuck moving around alone. Tawni laughed at Vallen's dropped jaw. "I think I have more than you now."

He snapped his fingers. "Nope, I got this." He went to the microphone and spoke over the roar of the crowd. "Hey! Whoever throws their bras at me gets to spend some 'alone time' in a VIP room with… with…"

"Chris Maclean?" Tawni offered.

"YEAH! Chris Maclean!"

The girls looked down at their shirts and pouted. Guess they'd have to be content with drinks, seeing as they didn't have much else to throw.

"GIVE THAT BACK!" Vallen glared down as Cody jumped up and took the bra he'd got smacked in the head with. "That's Gwen's! Er, _mine_!"

Vallen tsked briskly as Cody stuffed it into the bag he was carrying around with him. "_Sure it is_."

**Cody: **_**"LeShawna didn't want to go through the crowd, so she threw up my **_**personal possession**_** to 'motivate me' to bring Vallen and Tawni to her. I'm kinda put-out by how well that worked."**_

"I'm guessing it's go-time?" Tawni asked. "That means we need someone to cover… but who to do the job…" She looked Cody up and down and shrugged. "Here Bra-Boy Wonder, think you can handle playing DJ until I get back?"

"Wha?!" Cody's eyes went saucer-wide as he took in the control board. "N-now wait a minute!"

"Thanks! Good luck!" She patted his back with enough force for him to thunk forward. She took off with her friend through the cleared dance floor. Cody gulped nervously, a blush fanned across his face. He should've gone home when he had the chance…

* * *

"… So you want to date that guy?"

Tawni nodded to the Chris as Vallen glared at him mercilessly. "Yup. Gotta a problem with that?"

"What? I'm just confused as to why you're the one that wants to get in his pants and somehow I'm stuck doing this challenge for slash with you. Like, what's wrong with this guy? HEY,GUY!" Chris looked from LeShawna and the screens to him with a disinterest. "What's your deal?"

"It's Chris," the host seethed, pointedly ignoring the question.

**Vallen: **_**"Does this guy not watch reality TV? I'm supposed to get a dinner – y'know, free food? The club scene's cool, don't get me wrong, but where the ef is the nice dinner where we all sit around and talk to What's-His-Wig about our past relationship and then –BAM– some weirdo chick comes out of the closet or something? This is just not how it's supposed to go down, obviously."**_

**Tawni: **_**"My cohort brings up a good point. Where does Chris get his warped ideas?" She blinks and looks at the Bathroom Memorial behind her. "Huh? What's this?..." She notices the permanent marker and snickers as she uncaps it and sets to work…**_

Chris waved a hand at Vallen. "Back on track – hello camera, I'm over here, thanks – now that LeShawna has filled in our little duckies on the program and they're hooked up to the machines like Frankenstein's fam, we're ready for questioning."

Vallen laughed. "Sherlock Wig on the case!"

Chris cringed. "W-w-w-"

"He said wig," LeShawna said.

"Short for What's-His-Wig," Tawni explained. "He just can't get your name down. Poor guy."

"BACK ON TRACKS AGAIN!" Chris said hotly. Where were the bombs and electric tanks of truth when you needed them? Geoff knew what he was doing on his show, Chris should've taken better notes. "I bet you haven't left Tawni's side all night."

"Got that right," he confirmed.

Chris smirked. "Oh, I bet your still feel all hot 'n' heavy when it comes to her, right? What's the deal, man? You still interested in Tawni?"

"No offense, I mean I still smile wide when I think about the old times – what good old times they were – but no, our Romeo and Juliet deal is better off as a Starsky and Hutch routine."

He blinked. Old times? Well, mine as well try… "How far did you go in these 'old times' of yours…?"

"You don't have to answer that," LeShawna snapped in. She went back into Fairy GodTeenager time. "Tawni, what's your last name?"

"Fernix!" she answered pleasantly. She looked between her ex and Chris and smirked. "You know, you two are kinda alike."

"Yeah right, moron," Chris said at the same time Vallen said it. They glared darkly at each other and scoffed.

"So you work with Tawni?" Chris said.

"Yup."

"What do you do?"

"Bouncer, duh."

Chris shook his head. "No way you're a bouncer. You've got some meat, I admit, but not enough brawn to be one."

"Keep telling yourself that, kiddo," Vallen said with an eye roll. He might not be Hulk-size, but he thought he was threatening enough to get a job done.

Chris leered at Tawni. "Tawni, is this guy _really_ your best friend?"

**Tawni: **_**"What'd I say? They're freakishly alike in some ways. If Vallen cared more about his looks and Chris wasn't such a sissy they'd be twins. Or soul mates. Heh, as if." She left the room and the camera zoomed in on her changes. Besides the obvious altercation of the message so 'Chris 3's Tawni' she added a thought bubble above Chris's name and filled it with her name in different fonts. **_

* * *

Charlie went to clubs enough to know that there were some problems with the DJ if Tchaikovsky's _Waltz of the Flowers _was playing. She left the bar (she decided she'd take a free drink without throwing her bra at anyone thank you very much) and tried to see what Tawni was up to. It didn't surprise her all that much to see Cody panicking as he tried to find good music. She was going to walk over and try to help him when she felt someone grab her shirt. "Yo, you're next." She blinked and looked back at the guy who seemed to be hanging out with Tawni most of the night. "Vallen," she acknowledged. "Next for what? To see Chri-"

"WHAT THE HELL?!" The people in the room, if they didn't notice the ballet music yet, definitely noticed it now. Tawni was ripping across the room to the DJ booth with Hell's fury in her eyes. "Where's the rock? The techno? The – _anything_ but freakin' classical! That's it, it's time to give you a crash course in DJ-ing!"

"AH! Please! It's not my fault!" Cody insisted. "What's a club even doing with this kind of stuff, huh?!"

Charlie gave her drink to Vallen and patted him on the back. "I'll go find Terrance and head up. You seem to have some harmonizing to do."

Keeping to her word, they took off in opposite directions. Charlie sighed and tried to remember what happened to Terrance. Her worry ceased when she saw him looking around frantically, probably for her. "Terrance! Time for you to formally meet Chris!" He noticed her waving and sighed in relief, following after her with a sense of calm.

"I thought I lost you in the chaos," he said. "Hey, you know where you're going?"

"I think, I saw enough girls go up. I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever get to see him." She looked at him in fixed concentration. "He's probably going to pull a mission. I wouldn't put it past him judging on how some of the girls who came out of the room acted and looked."

"Heh, no worries, Charlie!" he assured her. "I've got your back. I'm up for anything."

* * *

"Okay, I'm not up for this."

"_Terrance_."

Chris waved a hand at Charlie to signal her to relax as her ex struggled against the wires. "No worries, Charlie. If your man has a tough time than we'll just fail you at the mission."

He grinned deviously, hoping that this guy that Charlie was close with would back down. His genius melted as Terrance got stiff and toughened up. "It's fine then. I… I'll suck it up, I guess. For Charlie."

Charlie smiled at him and told him comforting words. Chris shook his head. Man, did he _hate_ ex-boyfriends. "Okay, okay, quiet down now. This isn't therapy this is real life!"

"Real life is nothing like this –"

"_Not the time, LeShawna_." Chris tapped the screen. "Alright, let's see how many lies we can get outta this pair! Now, just because I want to hear it and see some proof, I know exactly what to kick-start this meeting with." He rested his chin on his fist and shot Charlie his infamous Man Whore Smirk. "Charlie, do you _loooove_ me?"

"To be honest, Chris, it's not healthy to try and get an answer you want to hear by putting someone in a threatening environment. It's bad for relationship devolepement. We start out like this, there will be a constant power shift between you and –"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." Chris pouted. "But that counts as a lie!"

Terrance kicked the floor. "Hey, Psycho-host! How's that a lie? I'm with Charlie on this one, you got some control issues, man."

"Thanks for the back-up, Terrance," Charlie said smiling. His face flushed over lightly.

"Awe, those two are _such_ a cute couple," LeShawna teased Chris as he grew tenser and more frustrated. "Can you imagine what their kids would look like? Oh, lil Charrance and Terlie chasing each other around." He winced and muttered out a warning. "Better be nice Chris if you want them to call you uncle." This time he was angrily muttering about contracts.

Speaking of contracts… "It's not like those two are married or anything, why would they have kids?" Seeing Terrance's slightly too innocent expression had him thinking otherwise. "… Right?"

**LeShawna: **_**"Those two better not be married. That'd be the ultimate Reality Love Show cliché! And lord knows this show doesn't need any more of those."**_

"We weren't getting married," Terrance groaned.

Charlie clicked her tongue for Chris's attention. He spent more time give her ex angry glares than anything else. "He did, however, have plans to get engaged to me for my birthday. He tried to tell me this after I caught him in a more or less awkward situation at his own birthday party." He looked away bashfully.

"You didn't tell me!" he cried out, sinking to the floor in a manly depression.

**Charlie: **_**"Really, Chris can be very immature and narrow-minded and –" she notices the wall graffiti behind her. "… what's this?"**_

Charlie tried to get his attention again. "Chris, I did. One of our first days here."

"Did not!" he argued indigently.

"Yes, I did."

"Did _not_!"

"Chris, the machine says she's telling the truth, Sugar," LeShawna said.

"Well then the machine was charmed by her feminine whiles and is lying to cover for her. Way to seduce and screw up the equipment, Charlie. That's coming out of Chef's paycheck!"

**Chef: **_**"Damn feminine whiles. Huh, they always be giving me grief! All the mistakes they had me make… especially during the wars…" He sniffed. "I'm sorry, Mama!" He flipped from sad to frightening in a seconds notice. "But what's that gotta do with my paycheck?!"**_

"Any other secrets? Hmm?" Chris jabbed a finger over at Terrance. "Did you get Angel preggie or something?"

"I don't appreciate nor condole the use of common, unprovoked pet names to set my ex or myself off!" Charlie shot out.

Terrance coughed. "Umm… no."

Flash of red. "HAH! She is preggie!"

"I was not." Charlie said, and despite herself laughed. "I'm sorry, you looked really worried, Chris. You honestly think I wouldn't tell you if I had a child?"

He sighed and dropped his head to the table. "Who knows? You don't let me even touch you without putting up a fight. For all I know it's because you used up you 'touch me' quota on creepers like _him_." Terrance rolled his eyes.

"Chris," she laughed again and shook her head. "Relationships don't _work_ like that. If I got physical too fast, that's going to be the base of our relationship. That's a sure way for failure. We need to make an emotional connection before we go farther."

"That's dumb," he said flatly. "I want you, you want me, I don't see –"

"She's got a tattoo!" Terrance cut in, hoping to end whatever fluff-filled moment they were bound to have otherwise.

The interest level in piqued. "Tattoo? Eh?"

"There was no reason to bring _that_ up," Charlie hissed to her supposed ally.

"Of what?" Chris asked excitedly.

"Lips," she answered, her voice muffled as she hid herself behind her shoulder. "And only Jill was supposed to know about it."

Terrance shrugged. "Eh, I heard her talking about it to you one day when I was walking by your room. I didn't know what or where though, just that your had one."

"Thanks for bringing it up on national TV."

"Ehehehe… sorry?"

"Hey! Anyways! Where is this set of lips! Is it on –"

"I don't have to answer. That's personal."

"Oh? Well let's just guess then – by the way, that counts as a lie." Charlie sighed. "Fine!" she gave in. "It's on the right side… of my breast."

Chris blanked than his face glowed. It was his early birthday. He jumped over the table and across the room and was undoing her wires and pulling her out of the chair. "There! You're free! So let's see that tat!"

Charlie blushed furiously and shook her head. "No way!"

"Well, fine, I'll just –"

He tried to pull her shirt up as she tried to pull it down. They were struggling and wriggling against each over the evidence of the tattoo before Chris remembered why she might be so against stripping. It must have to do with the fact the cameras were there. Yeah, that must've been it. "We'll just find it later," he decided, pecking her cheek. She sat in her chair and crossed her arms, feeling well invaded. And not pleased the she was a bit upset he gave up so quickly. Oh really, what was she thinking?

* * *

This was the reason he didn't associate with common people. Because then they thought it was okay to hassle you in public bathrooms. Those uncivilized middle-class citizens!

"I could give you some nice styling tips, if you want," Patrick said coyly, leaning in far too close to Jordan than was acceptable in a bathroom. It was bad enough he'd been harassing, but now he was whispering and his breath was blowing his hair out of place. How unacceptable.

"I don't know why _you_ think you have a chance with me," Jordan said, flicking his bangs from his eyes to see how he'd look with them aside. "If you must know, I'm determined to get back together with Va- _Lauren_ before the night's over. If I can't, I'm setting my sights on another female I deem worthy of my affections." Patrick swooned and Jordan winced. "Key word there: _female_."

Patrick waved his hand at the thought. "Who wants a girl, hmm? There just _gross_. All you straight-guys want girls for are big boobs, and y'know what happens to big boobs? They get all saggy and stuff. How much fun can it be to squeeze that? The only big thing you should be interested in is –"

"_Please_, please! Just _stop_ with the imagery!" Jordan tried to erase the thoughts that Patrick was sinking in. "You did use to have a fiancé, I hear. The Serenity girl. She seems beautiful enough – how could she make you switch… uh, teams?"

"I never said I was gay," Patrick pointed out.

Jordan's jaw fell open and he shook his head. "You, my fellow, are not right." As he said this, Brad and Vallen came in. Jordan groaned. "More of you ruffians are here now? Did you all plan to gang-bang me? Hmm? That it? My good-looks too much to resist?"

Vallen winced at the thought of 'gang-banging' anyone while Brad put his muscled arm around Jordan's waist. "I don't share," he said.

"You look real cozy there, Jordan," Vallen said, though he was chuckling at how upset Jordan seemed at being touched. Well, the guy seemed more upset his jacket was touched, but it was still an entertaining sight. "Oh by the way, Jordan, you and Lauren are up next to talk to Chris. Ter-Bear was looking for you with his hot ex. So c'mon Romeo, I'll take you there. Unless you want to take Brad up on his offer…?" He laughed as Jordan pulled him out. "Thanks, Brad."

"No prob, man!" Brad called out. He'd made a few friends here, but so far he bonded the most with Vallen. He had a good sense of humor about him hitting on guys to get a funny reaction. A few other guys had been good about it, but for the most part Vallen was just more his style. Too bad he was straight.

Brad felt someone glaring at his back and he turned to look at Patrick. He was tapping his foot with his arms crossed, glaring something fierce at Shelly's ex. "What?"

"Oh you know what," Patrick insisted childishly. "Stop trying to take all my guys, you bitch!"

Brad stuck his hands up. "Whoa there, tiger, I'm not trying to take anyone from you. I don't actually want to date these guys – dude, they're all straight. It's just funny to see their reactions!"

"Just watch yourself, baby boy, or it's on," Patrick warned, poking Brad's chest. He couldn't help but notice how firm and nice it was. He growled and ripped his hand away. It must be the alcohol talking.

Brad noticed the staring and he laughed. "Like something you see, Shortness?"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "I'm not short, you're just freakishly tall! Now just stay outta my way and we won't have any problems!"

"Do you want some problems so you have an excuse to talk to me?... or touch my chest again?"

"Yes! Wait, no! I WANT CHRIS, DAMMIT!" Patrick let out an irritated shout and took off out of the bathroom, leaving Brad to laugh at the reaction. Straight guys weren't the only guys he was interested in messing with.

* * *

"Ya'll got that?"

Having been explained the challenge, both Lauren and Jordan looked discontent. Lauren shook her head when Jordan looked over at her. "Say anything to expose me," she said too low for LeShawna or Chris to catch, "and I'll give you a _haircut_."

**Jordan: **_**He gulps. "Not my hair!"**_

Chris slapped his hands together. "Right, so, first question –"

"Back off, _I'm_ starting this time!" LeShawna snapped. "After hearing some of the outright rude questions you wanted to try out you were bragging to the camera guy about, you'd be some kind of crazy to think I wouldn't step in."

"Hey! You can't ju-"

"So, white girl, what's your name?"

Chris gripped is head. "Seriously now? That's just impossible to get wrong! It's just –"

"Lauren Russ," Lauren answered nervously.

" – impossible to get any drama out of a dumb question like that! It's… it's..." Chris stopped his complaining when he saw the red screen. "Huh, well that's not what I expected."

* * *

**[1] – Tucker Max is the author of documenting his… er… 'adventures' in books like **_**I Hope They Serve Beer in **_**Hell and **_**Assholes Finish First**_**… yeah, he's an interesting guy with equally interesting friends to boot.**

**[2} – This is a direct reference to "Ryan" of **_**Megan Wants a Millionaire**_**. Apparently he killed a girlfriend he got after losing Megan's show, tried to get away, then killed himself. Messed up or what?**

**The song Maddie was dancing to was **_**Freaxxx**_** by Brokencyde. Not easy listening tunes at any rate.**

**I actually took a lot out so it wouldn't be 5,000 pages… okay, that's an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. And I have at least two 'alternate endings' per girl. Sigh. And if anyone thought they weren't given enough air-time, let me know so I can balance it out next chapter. In fact if anyone sees any errors in general with anything like characterization or spelling/grammar, don't hesitate to tell me. It was hard to keep track of everything I admit and I won't go to bed happy if I know I screwed up people's expectations. Though I'm sure I did since I gave all these OC's fluff moments. And this is extremely scattered, so sorry for that ^^; Bright side: longest chapter by far. 71 pages on Microsoft XP**

**So next chapter we finish up the last interview, the ex's say their good-byes, and elimination. That's right… that means this challenge arc will FINALLY come to a close. **


	22. Chris the Obscure

**The Challenges of Love**

**22. Chris the Obscure**

**And now someone has to go and leave. I'm sensing a pattern.**

**Oh, and here's a head's up to anyone who cares: I'm going to be posting rewrites of the chapters (I already fixed chapter 1 and made it a much more pleasant read). No huge changes, just fixing spelling errors, taking out particularly annoying AU's where I just rant about nothing (…like this will be gone when I fix this chapter up XD), editing to make it run more smoothly, things along those lines. I had to clutch my eyes after reading the first few chapters… oh, the mistakes I didn't know I had! Sigh. Anyways, I've been working on them for a while and will probably start posting more refurbished chapters after I update this so rereads of any part aren't painful. **

**So any mistakes? Flaws? Things you want changed? Made clear? Say something so I can smooth it out, please :)**

**I have no ownership over Total Drama Island and any spin-offs, trademarks, characters, or other related aspects. I also do not own the lovely female contestants and their ex's, James Bond, Survivor, or the CIA's employees.**

**

* * *

**

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson_

_-Ladies Left: 13_

_

* * *

_

_The 'Ex' Quick Guide and Their Former Lady (in order of when they took the challenge):_

-_**Brad/Shelly**_: _He's a pretty friendly guy who likes to mess around with all the straight men in the house – namely Chris, which put him on the bad side of another ex, Patrick. He's hoping for a chance to explain himself to Shelly but fate seems to screw up every opportunity he gets._

_-__**Andy/Al**__: His fame back home for having a band has made him a total "sellout" and is the driving force for his feud with Al. He made Al look like a fame-whore and used his 'bromance' with Chris to get to the music guru where it hurts. After his failed attempt at scoring with Maddie, he's all over anything female with a pulse._

_-__**Steve/Roxie**__: Shallow, manipulative, hot, and… shallow. He wanted to score some fame points by rekindling the relationship he killed with Roxie after destroying their chances at winning a large dancing competition by skipping out on it. After Roxie made it clear she's head over heels for Chris, he's content with playing around with other girls until he's ready to make another move._

_-__**Ren/Dawn**__: Ren genuinely seems like a good guy with some real bad habits (notably his 'kiss and don't tell' issue). While he's not as brainy as Dawn and has a daughter to think about, he still has strong feelings for his ex and harbors a hope that she might realize she loves him too. At this point he just wants to see her happy, whether it's with or without him._

_-__**Alix/Katroina**__: Sweet, adorable, and undeniably nerdy. He's a friend of Katroina's as well as a peer of hers for Harvard. Because he's so awkward, any perverted thoughts or experiences with relationships he's had/has fly usually fly under the radar. He likes girls with smarts and seems to already have developed a small crush on Dawn because of this._

_-__**Berko/Maddie**__: Hot and cocky, but definitely too hooked on sex for some people's liking. He thinks Maddie's a total tease and doesn't seem to respect anyone who doesn't go all the way in relationships. He's clicked with Chris and hopes to click with some other girls while he's still here._

_-__**Dom/Krissy**__: A true nice guy with a soft heart and, currently, no shirt. He calls Krissy 'Moe' and the two have been good friends since childhood. He cares for her very much even though she treats him horribly. After helping Leila Claires, the model returned the favor and gave him and Krissy a ride back to the mansion. _

-_**Patrick/Serenity**__: Patrick doesn't seem to hate Serenity, but he does neglect her. The only time he really pays her any attention is when Chris does. Patrick has stated he isn't gay, but his attraction to Chris and anger with Brad (a.k.a. the only competition for Chris he'll acknowledge) seems to make other's think he may be in denial. _

_-__**Andrew/Lena**__: Andrew is a friend, fellow environmentalist, co-worker, and protestor to Lena though the charming redhead. He made the mistake of breaking up with Lena and he wants to get together again. The only thing standing in his way of this is Chris, who Lena seems to actually somehow really like. He seems to think it's up to him to convince her or Chris to end things._

_-__**Daniel/Lea**__: He proved just how possessive and violent he is with his ill treatment of Lea. This, coupled with Chris just not liking him, got him kicked out of the show. But will this guy just walk away…?_

_-__**Vallen/Tawni**__: Vallen is easily the closest to his ex, Tawni, though the two are more best friends than anything romantic. He's laidback and all about having a good time, but doesn't seem too thrilled with What's-His-Wig… err… Chris. But if he makes Tawni happy, he's willing to play nice… sorta. _

_-__**Terrance/Charlie**__: He had been engaged to Charlie up until he cheated on her at his Bachelor Party. He still has feelings for her and wants her to notice him. Because of her friendship and ease with Terrance and her growing involvement with Chris, neither of the guys really like each other. He seems to handle their split a bit more immaturely than Charlie does._

_-__**Jordan/Laruen**__: Jordan seems to bring out the worst in his ex, not that the self-obsessed egoist notices. He wants to get back with Lauren, but she's anything but interested in him. He's brought a secrets about her life before the show that everyone's interested about but she's not willing to unearth. _

_

* * *

_

Typically when going to bed alone, Chris had a strict routine he kept to. This ritual was composed of simple, ordinary tasks: brush teeth, mouth wash, floss, brush teeth again, mouthwash again, apply whitening paste, wash face, fix hair, tweeze away anything that made his eyebrows unshapely, shave (though he usually had a shadow back by morning), mouth wash again… and so on. Every night, he took steps to ensure he'd go into bed looking as good as he did during the day, because someone as famous as him should always look their best for the cameras. Even when they were off.

But this night was certainly not a typical night.

Chris strolled into his room after the Elimination Ceremony, seeming out-of-place as he shut the door behind him, mainly because it more or less looked like he was just pulled out of a mine field.

He shot over to his bed and flopped out on the blankets and throw pillows, melting into the clean scents and billowing materials. Apparently his 'bedtime chores' would have to wait until the morning when the layer of soot drenching his body loosened so moving wasn't such a struggle…

Or maybe when the sores in his eyes from where the laser was shot at him would disappear would he even care to look for his bathroom…

Or his nose could stop bleeding long enough for him to get some blood into his brain he could remember why he cared about grooming before bed…

Chris groaned into his pillow. Yeah, it got pretty rough tonight.

It's not like it was his fault things took a turn for the worst. It's never really his fault when his shows get 'out of hand' like they had. _It's all the casting directors' fault_. They should perform better background checks or something. The people applying for the show should probably be ready for what they signed up for.

It wasn't until tonight that Chris realized that maybe he didn't know as much about the girls on this show – the same show hell bent on having him murdered, he was sure of it – as he thought he did. And he was peeved that it took him until tonight to fully grasp this.

* * *

The night started off eventful enough. What, with psycho-ex's to come and act overdramatic on TV for the whole world to see and the girl's getting their own fill of excitement, things were looking up. Even though some parts of the challenge (specifically LeShawna's 'heroics' and a few select male contenders) bothered him, overall he felt he was getting as much out of this as intended.

But he thought, with as much cool gadgets and nerdy science guys hired there was, the girls would be a bit more grateful. And, he thought, maybe they should be more active participants in the challenge…? Like, hmm, maybe answer the questions?

Lauren was frustrating. She answered a few basic, general questions. All of them lies. Her name, her home, her job, her hair color – not one truth. After a while she either got too bored or annoyed to make up falsehoods about herself, so she just stopped talking altogether. Or maybe she felt guilty, Chris couldn't recall – he was too confused to really consider checking her face and body language to see how she felt.

And her ex? Jordan? Psh, yeah, that guy was useless. He put more effort in trying to find reflective surfaces to check himself out then he did to give Chris some answers. When he did open his mouth to contribute a thought (beyond how good-looking he was or how troublesome the mission was), Lauren would catch his eye and he'd shut-up and seem to forget whatever he had to say.

Chris tried to ask Lauren after she was released from the wires what was going on, but she shrugged him away. "I can't tell you what I've got to hide," she explained, "because it's got nothing to do with you."

Well, how reassuring.

He couldn't complain too much about her when he juxtaposed her performance with some other girls. Or rather the lack there-of. At least _she_ showed up unlike Krissy and her ex-boyfriend. As far as Chris's camera crew knew, the two just vanished. Though one limo driver admitted to taking the pair back to the house, another girl was with them and she paid him a lot of money to keep her name out of it.

This had Chris seething. Krissy's ex got to go enjoy himself at his mansion while he stayed here not enjoying himself at his mansion? What a drag.

He'd love nothing more to go dance, drink, and be surrounded by girls who love _him_ on the floor but it didn't look like that was happening since they had to leave soon. What, with Elimination tonight, they were on a _strict schedule._

This episode better get some views, that's all he had to say about that.

Though truth be told, enough what on to fill probably three episodes. Maybe four if they left some parts unedited. He could only assume that whatever was taking place in the club was just as entreating as some of the things that took place in the VIP Room. Generally, clubs bring out the 'drama' side in people.

"LeShawna, go gather everyone and get them in the limos. I can't leave until they do." Chris ordered once Lauren left the two alone.

"Oh no. You don't expect me to do that all on my own, do you?" she challenged. "You see how crowded it is out there?"

"Get Cody to help you. Or go to the DJ booth and use the mic to get everyone out there. I'd do it myself, but I can't see the girls or the guys."

She crossed her arms, leaning in to study him like a criminal as she questioned him. "And why not? Too painful to see them after getting some facts down?"

He blinked. "Actually, it'd ruin the tension at Elimination Ceremony. _Tsk, tsk_. Can't have that – the reviews wouldn't be as high if I said the same things twice. People get bored, y'know?"

Oh yeah, she knew she told him. She rolled her eyes in typical teenage fashion and sashayed out of the place. Chris could only hope that was the last time he'd have to work with her. The girl had too much attitude. He had no idea why people liked her so much. He'd rather work with Courtney before her.

Recalling some memorable moments with the CIT was enough to make Chris cringe and he decided against it. The girl had _obnoxious_ lawyers. The last thing he wanted was to get sued for bossing her around. He'd get slapped with a Child Labor Laws suit before he could say, "Jay kay, people – _jay kay_."

It took a few minutes of testing his patience before LeShawna let him know they were headed back for his place. She also warned him to stop being such a prick or this show would be a bust. Or something like that. All he cared for was that he'd get to be outta there. Next time he went to a club, he was not going to be on a show, that's for sure.

He thought about this, who he'd eliminate, and how outrageously amazing he was as he left the club and slid into the limo. Somehow he wasn't all that surprised to see another person in there, looking at him from his reflection in the dark glass she was looking out of and her back to him.

As mad as he should've been that someone snuck off to his limo and screwed his plans up, he smirked instead of scoffed.

"Something the matter, Mr. Maclean…?" the chauffer holding his door open for him wondered, trying to peek inside the limo to see what the holdup was about.

Chris dismissed him with a hand wave and slid in so the door would shut behind him. Chris tapped the back of the seat expectantly as the girl beside him leaned on his shoulder and looked up at him with a glimmer in her curious look.

"Hello there, Chris," she said.

He stopped his tapping. "Hello there, Lena."

"You don't look happy," she observed. "Wanna talk about it?"

"You're in my limo, when you should be in the other limo," he rebuffed. "The other girls have probably figured this out – or will when they get back. And they'll be ticked." She waited and he groaned. "And no, I don't wanna give a damage report. Sheesh, no need to relay my third degrees."

She shrugged. "I hear it helps to talk about stuff. Crazy, huh?"

"Totally."

"But I never said we had to talk about the challenge or anything. I just meant that if you wanted to talk in general, I'm all ears." She smiled. "And did anyone ever tell you that you talk like a valley girl?"

"Yup, though I prefer the term valley man for obvious reasons. Can't help but talk Hollywood when I'm all Hollywood talks about." She smiled wider and he nudged her. "Anyone ever tell you that you're an obsessive fangirl?

She turned around to face him, nuzzling her arms under his. "Are you trying to say something, _Maclean_?" she threatened him lightly, making the joke obvious.

"I'm just asking since you snuck into _my_ limo. Fangirls do that sorta thing. Ergot, you're a stalker-ish fangirl, _Greene_."

"And you're an obsessive egoist but I don't point out your flaws," she teased.

"Whoa! But you _just –_" He shook his head.

"Listen, it's a long ride back, and it's just you and me," she said. "So if you're really down right now, we can just sit here and relax, no problem. I just want to spend time with you since I couldn't during the challenge. Not really anyway."

Chris rolled his eyes. "_You just want to spend time with me_? The only time I've ever heard that line was when I wanted to get in some chick's pants."

"Well, maybe I use that line when I want to get into a guy's pants." She tried to keep a straight face but as soon as Chris's jaw fell open she burst into laughter and broke her façade. "I was joking, Chris! Don't judge me! Oh, I'm not going to live this down, am I?"

Chris decided maybe company for the ride home wasn't such a bad thing after all.

* * *

The quiet in the Maclean Mansion erupted into an increasing hum of noise that burst into white noise as everyone in the limos came inside. They occupied the main hallways, congregating to voice whatever concerns one limo had with the occupants of the other limo.

"Well that sucked the fun outta my night." Al growled miserably, going to sit on the bottom step with blaring music as soon as she came in.

Maddie sat beside her, careful not to get too close in case she lashed out again like she had in the limo when they sat too near. "I know, right? Why couldn't we have just gone to the club and relaxed? Great date idea, God awful challenge idea."

Berko, who was in the middle of the mass of people standing around the entrance, peaked over everyone to shoot her a disturbed look. "Wait, you think that lie detectors make a great date? What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"No I think she meant the club was a good date idea, not the lie detector." Ren said, smiling disarmingly at Maddie. Maddie tried to smile nicely back but worried he might get the wrong idea and looked away just as quickly.

"Did she even ask you for input, pervert?" Lauren asked. She had it up to her nerve's end with drama, and this boy was hell-bent on festering in it. It was enough reason for her to be short with him. That and the fact he thought it was okay to try and feel her up at fifteen minute intervals the entire night.

"Someone's feisty. Guess we know how well you did in the challenge…."

Andrew had unconsciously ended any fight before it started when he bolted to stand on the bottom step next to Maddie, looking at everyone with a low level of panic. "Hey, guys, anyone see Lena…? She wasn't on our limo and I don't think she's here."

"Eep!" Patrick looked around with his hands on his face. "She's was such a doll! You don't think we left her at the club?"

"That's not the only missing person we've got," Terrance pointed out. "I haven't seen that Daniel guy that was all over Lea since we left."

Lea blinked innocently as she tightened up a scarf that she definitely didn't have on when she left the house. No need to tell them she had to borrow from a sympathetic camerawoman. "… I can't say I know what happened to him."

"Speaking of missing persons," Steve interrupted from behind Roxie, "where's KK?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Probably sucking face with a CC lookalike. She seemed out of it enough to want to throw herself at anything with brown hair and good teeth. Or just teeth."

"Not that I'm defending her or anything," Serenity said, "but since when is 'bitch' synonymous with 'slut'?"

"Since we're talking about Krissy," half the room chorused.

"D'you think she'd take my number if she lost?" Berko asked Andy under his breath. "She did seem _per-rit-ty_ wild. My type, totally."

"I doubt she'd take it," Steve told him. "What, with her being here to compete for that over-gelled scum –"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY CHRIS THAT AWAY!"

Andy sighed at Patrick. "Dude… he doesn't like you like that! It's just so wrong…"

Patrick looked like he wanted to say something to that but Brad stepped in looking furious. Patrick was dazzled for a moment as his arch nemesis came to his defense. "You think it's wrong to be gay, huh? Want me to punch you 'til you love me?!"

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP ALREADY!"

The conversationalists raising the volume in the entry way looked to the top of the staircase to see a sultry blonde with her arms crossed staring down at them. They stopped talking as they connected the reality that this girl was really bossing them around in Chris's house. Once they had accepted this fact they were ready to chew her out instead of each other.

"Leila," Serenity bit out viciously. She still harbored more than enough venom for the model to want to strangle her.

"What are you here for, huh?" Shelly challenged. "And you better not tell me that Chris let you back in the competition."

Leila arched a thin brow into her bangs. She seemed more amused now by the reactions she evoked in people than annoyed as she had when she first appeared. "Of course not, ladies. I have no interest in that cocky _boy_. He's all yours. Like this one magazine ad I did where I choose the perfume over a guy – yeah, I pick the perfume time, too."

Andy licked his lips. "Oh, that was you? Baby, I _loved_ that ad."

"Of course you did."

Brad slapped Andy's chest. "Dude, stop feeding her ego. It's obvious the girls don't like her."

**Andy: **_**"So what if the girls don't like her? The girls don't like me either."**_

**Katroina: **_**"It bothers me how a lot of people are treating Leila with such abhorrence when they barely know the girl. Sure she hasn't shown the best qualities while she lived here and she did some selfish things, but she has her own vendetta. I can think of a few people who would act with the same way if not worse in her situation. Besides, it's reality TV – I doubt a celebrity would be boring when the spotlights on them."**_

**Serenity: **_**"… I wish she'd trip on those stilettos and go tumbling down the stairs…"**_

Andy, in true Scene-fashion, gave Brad a shove to show how he felt about being told what to do. "Back off, bro."

Brad tensed until Shelly grabbed his wrist. "Hey, it's okay," she assured him. "He's a total creep. Don't even waste your time on him."

Brad frowned but nodded while Leila waved a hand in disgust above the festering drama. "_Yoo-hoo_, people! Rich, famous, and _hot_ celebrity superstar standing _right_ here where your attention should be!"

Roxie, who felt she had the most luck dealing with stuck-up snobs, decided reluctantly to play mediator as everyone grew more infuriated each time someone opened their mouth. "Leila, if Chris isn't the reason why you're here, what'd you come for?"

"And why were you at the club?" Everyone looked at Al. Still in a bad mood, no one besides Maddie had tried to get her to talk. She used her iPod to point between Lauren and Andrew. "Lauren, Andrew, and Lena saw her, too."

Katroina stepped up next to her. "I helped Dom take care of her while she was in the restroom, also." She looked over at Dawn for support, and she nodded having seen the bathroom-panorama unfold earlier for herself. She looked up kindly at the model. "I'm sure that's why you're here, isn't it? You wanted to take Dom home?"

"No," she snapped back in a hurry. "_He_ wanted to bring _Krissy_ back. She was hammered and he wanted to make sure he could take care of her. She's sleeping now." She frowned at the snickering from certain persons in the room and did quick damage control. "She's sleeping _alone_ in her room. Well, if you can call the stuff she put up in one of the movie theater's a room **[1]**, anyways."

"Hey, Leila! Is everyone back now?"

Dom came up beside Leila, still shirtless, smiling ear-to-ear at everyone's wide eyes. "Hello, everybody! Sorry I had to leave with Moe earlier, I hope no one was worried too much about her – "

"Dom," Shelly tried to whisper inconspicuously up the stairs. "You're missing your shirt."

"Shelly," Tawni whispered even louder next to said girl. "Could you speak up? My eardrums are totally shot, I couldn't catch _any_ of that."

Several people were about to repeat what Shelly said when Katroina stepped up to where Dom was and handed his shirt back to him. She had taken it off in the bathroom of the club after receiving Chris's shirt and was waiting for a more private time to hand it over, but that seemed like it wouldn't be coming now.

"Hey now," Ren laughed. "How'd you get his shirt there, darling'?" He noticed Dawn peering up at him curiously and he cleared his throat. "Erm… I mean… yeah, not that I care…"

Dawn felt Alix patting her back beside her. "It's alright, Alix," she said. "I'm not upset with Ren. It's just funny to see him get all flustered every time he tries to flirt and remembers I'm still here."

Alix gulped and took a step forward. "You know, Dawn, I'd never-ever-never-ever-_never_ flirt with another girl if you were mine."

Dawn blinked at him. "Hey, are you trying to come on to me?"

Alix nervously laughed. "Ahahaha… ahahah… hah… um… well, when you ask it like that…" Dawn was still looking at him with a comforting half-smile that made his knees melt and he got too nervous and muttered something about morally supporting Katroina before taking off. As he left he accidently bumped into a few other people, and before anyone knew it another round of arguments broke loose. Leila rose the noise level as she jumped up and down at the top of the steps and tried to climb on top of Dom so people would pay more attention to her. Al groaned and wished her music could get louder.

Another celebrity appearance made everything halt again.

Chris came in, looking like a disappointed parent. "Don't tell me I'm missing all the drama!" he cried out scandalized. He noticed everyone's sights zeroed in on Lena, who was innocently holding his hand with a light blush. Then he smirked. "Oh hey – I still got some drama on me!"

**Serenity: **_**"It's hard to be mad at Lena, and it's also hard to not be mad at Lena." She sucked in a breath and looked around. "Does that make any sense? Any sense at all? I mean, she's a total cheater, I think, for basically stealing all that time for herself and I'm just a little bit jealous – just a bit, okay? – but I mean I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I thought of it. And better her than some other people I can think of."**_

**Roxie: **_**She's staring hard at the floor as if trying to figure something out for herself. "Why is with Lena and not wearing a shirt? And he looks so comfortable with her. I get the feeling he makes all of us feel like he cares and he doesn't. Charlie's right with all the stuff she's been saying lately – like how could he like me, then like Lena, and like her, and like all of us? I don't believe in that kind of stuff. Is that wrong?"**_

Chris gave Lena a peck on the forehead and smiled as he walked confidently up the staircase. "Heh, I crack myself up," he murmured to himself before shouting out, "Elimination in thirty minutes, people! Everyone get situated in the Elimination Garden stat! And if you're not there when I get there, then… you won't be there when I get there." Chris came to the top of the steps and noticed Leila frozen in the position she was in when she was trying to climb up on Dom's shoulders. "Well, this is new."

"Bite me," Leila hissed while jumping down from Dom and standing defensively in front of him.

"No can-do – I'm on a deadline!" he chirped back smartly as he continued off to his room. No doubt he wanted to try and fix himself up before his next appearance in front of the cameras.

"BYE CHRIS!" Patrick sang out in a booming voice, sighing as Chris paused for a moment to give him a worried look.

Tawni poked Vallen's shoulders as Chris fully disappeared from view. She looked a bit perplexed. "Dude," she shouted, "why does everyone keep _whispering_?!"

* * *

The Elimination Garden seemed more full than it usually did. This could be blamed on the simple fact that there were more people. Instead of thirteen girls awaiting their fates, twenty-six people plus Leila were all jam-packed onto the risers. If the amount of people wasn't to blame for the area feeling so stuffy, the amount of tension could easily be another explanation. It seemed that, after tonight, things were going to change indefinitely for the ladies long after the ex's left. The fact that someone was about to go home did not brighten anyone's spirits in the least.

On his platform, Chris noticed the thick air and smiled warmly like he had just found home. He flashed his million-watt smile to the cameras and glorified the action with a wink. After a few minutes of basking in the attention, he sunk back into host duties. "'Sup? We all pumped for the tenth elimination now or what?!" Chris waited for some sort of reply and sighed when everyone remained stiff in their spots. "Fine, don't answer me – what do I care? I'm just the guy who you're all supposed to love, whatever. No biggie. It's not like I want anyone I could possibly want to win this thing to talk to me or anything, dudes." Silence. "… Okay… I think it's safe to say everyone's feeling a bit on the sour side of things, hmm? Not too happy with the lemon's life gave you, yeah? Like –"

**Vallen: **_**"All I got out of that was this: "Blah-blah-blah. I wear wigs, dude! Blah-blah-blah. I'm soooo pretty, dude! Blah-blah-blah. Everyone should love me because my teeth can blind you so bad otherwise, dudes!" He shook his head. "Tawni's really into… into… God, what IS his name?!"**_

**Jordan: **_**"If there hadn't been a pond so near for me to look at myself in, I wouldn't have made it through his little monologue. Petty people and their petty speeches…"**_

**Andrew: **_**"Really, how can anyone put up with that? I think I would've eliminated myself by now."**_

**Steve: **_**"He just keeps going on and on about nothing. The man's worse than my grandfather when he had Alzheimer's! And I'm losing Roxie to this guy? That's so messed up."**_

**Andy: **_**"This explains it. The teens on that Total Drama series don't hate each other, they're just acting out all the anger with listening to my bro talk and talk and talk about nothing." He smirks. "Hey, that sounded kinda smart!"**_

**Patrick: **_**"All the guys kept fidgeting and it was really annoying 'cause I just wanted to hear what Chris God had to say. Some people are just so rude."**_

" – and then the fridge breaks, am I right?" Because no one else would, Chris laughed at his jokes. Rather bitterly because no one else would, but that's beside the point. "Since we already established that only the bottom three are up for elimination, I'll just start down from the good girls and work my way to the naughty ones. Just so all the viewers at home can watch everyone here sweat out the wait!"

"Clever," Andrew said sarcastically.

"Is it ever!" Chris agreed eagerly. "And when I call you up, you're ex can skedaddle after I give – or don't give – you a token to stay, be it chocolate or otherwise. They can catch a ride to wherever they crawled from in the limo out front and be out of my life. Great plan, I know. I guess then it'd be appropriate to call up first…" Chris scanned the crowd, his sights settling on one very acidic expression. "Glory! You're name is Al! Get up here."

Al looked stupefied, her jaw slacking. She'd thought for sure she was going to be sent home first after what happened. Hadn't her crummy ex ruined her chances?

"Al, babe, the night hours are ticking away…"

"Yeah, right," she said slowly. She came off the risers and over to stand in front of Chris, Andy at her side.

He picked up a piece of chocolate and held it out for her on his fingertips. "Here you go."

She reached for it and stopped short as she heard Andy's breathing next to her quicken. Either she turned him on when she reached for things or he was frustrated she was getting an opportunity to stay. Either way, it reminded her of something she was upset with. "Wait, what about what you said to me during the challenge?"

Chris tilted his head. "What's I say?"

Her brows flattened. "'Bros over hos.'"

"He said _what_?" Charlie called out, looking at Chris as if all the trust she built for him was snatched out from under her. "How could you? Do you know how disrespectful that is?"

"Whoa, wait up here! First of all, I said it to Andy –"

" – Oh, that makes it _so_ much better –"

" – secondly, don't take me so seriously," he said more to Al than to Andy. "I say a lot of stuff I don't mean, and I tend to hurt people's feelings. I'm so good at doing it, I get paid for it."

Al sighed. "That's not good enough."

Chris felt his face fall. Was she… was she turning him down? But she couldn't. Could she?

White noise flooded his ears and all he could focus on was how scorching hot he suddenly felt and everything Al was doing. He'd never been rejected before, not really. Had he upset her that much? She did cry, and he never thought he'd see her do that for him. She was fun, not sad. He screwed up. He really screwed up. And a girl was going to leave him because he –

"But you're foxy, so I'll let you live another day. You so owe me though, Chris Maclean." Chris brought his attention now to the chocolate she was eating, her cheerful little smile. She smirked and went over to the bleachers, sticking her tongue out at Andy.

**Al: **_**"Boys are dumb, they say and do weird things and then don't understand why people think they're weird. I like him, though. So I figure I'll take a night to chill out a bit and just talk to him later about it when I haven't been breathing the same air Andy poisoned with his toxic breath. Besides, Chris really is foxy."**_

Andy fist-bumped Chris. "Time for me to fly, I guess. If you ever want to hang –"

"Sorry, but… Andy…" Chris coughed. "I know this'll be rough for you, but…"

"No, no, oh man no!" Andy begged. "Don't tell me you're… ending things!"

"Andy, listen, just don't make this harder than it has to be –"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing… all the things you said to me about how we're so bros. That's all a lie, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, it's just Al totally hates your guts and –"

" –and what? You're leaving me because of her? You know what, forget this. Forget you. _You're all dead to me_!" Andy left with his guitar, tears dampening his cheeks as he made a mad dash for the limo.

**Patrick: **_**"And people think I'm gay."**_

Chris bit his lip. He seemed to be the only person to take any sort of blow from Andy's words. "That was a tough pill to take. But it was the truth. And right on up there with the truth-tellers is another duo who got twenty truths and zilch lies is Lena and Andrew!"

Lena walked over and smiled at Chris with a bright smile. Andrew tried not to bash his head into the nearest wall. Why Lena was giving all the love she had in her big heart to the coldest guy he met was too beyond him to even think about.

"Obsessive Fangirl," Chris greeted.

"Obsessive Egoist," Lena greeted back.

He handed over the grape, smiling she brushed her hand over his and popped it into her mouth. She hugged him and stood back before going over to hug Andrew. "Take care, Andrew! I'll call you when I get back home, okay? I'll be back to protesting in no time! Thanks for being such a good friend while you were here!"

"Good friend… guess I'll have to settle for that, huh?" He laughed at Lena's confused face and patted her head. "Yeah, I'll be waiting for your call. Good luck, Lena."

"Thanks!" she waved him off and went back over to the risers, feeling fresh and warm inside.

**Lena: **_**"Chris is a great guy. I hope Andrew can see what I see in him, one day." **_

"Tawni! You got a full twenty for twenty, too." Chris handed her the candy and hugged his side while high-fiving Vallen. "Thanks, Chris. Thanks for the help, Vallen!"

"Anytime," he said. "But you sure you want to stick around with this guy?"

"Yup." She nodded. "I'm pretty sure. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" She waved at him before going back up to the risers.

Vallen scratched the back of his neck and looked at Chris. "So, Wig, I guess see ya then. Be real nice to Tawni or I'll kick your butt."

Chris frowned. "It's Chris, bro." Then he considered something. "Hey, you related to a chick named Lindsay per chance?"

"Nope," Vallen said simply. He waved at everyone and took off.

**Tawni: **_**"It was great to see Valle n – seeing one of my closest friends from home made this mission ten thousand times more fun than it would've been otherwise. And on top of that, he helped me score points with Chris. I knew my friends were awesome!"**_

"And our final pure angels for the evening are Serenity and Patrick! Serenity, make your way up here if you would." Serenity came up with a grin as she took the candy from Chris. "So," she said, "does this mean that you'll buy into anything I say?"

"Yeah… I don't think so. But it does mean you'd make a great accomplice if I ever decided to go criminal mastermind on the world."

Serenity took another bite of her chocolate, trying to picture a future with Dictator Chris laughing as the world burned all around him. For some reason, the image only worked if she was in the throne next to his. "I could go for that."

She hugged him, gave Patrick a 'Thank Goodness You're Gone' salute and made her way to her open space. Patrick stood before Chris and looked him dead in the eye. "Chris, I need to tell you something before I go."

Chris sighed. "And that'd be…?"

Patrick leapt up and tried to plant a lip-bomb on Chris's mouth. Lucky for the host he noticed this and performed a successful side-step. Patrick landed in flowers and soil instead of on Chris, much like the fanatic Nina had. "Ah! Chris! Don't you see?" he sputtered as he stood and fixed his hair. "I really am gay! I tried to surprise you! Why didn't you let me?" Before Chris could speak Patrick continued, "You know? It's fine, I don't want you. As hot as you are, I'm moving on – I so don't need this!"

"So Shorty's got some bite? That's hot," Brad commented.

"You overgrown – " Patrick's insult died in his throat when he saw Brad smile. While the teeth weren't as intense as Chris's pearly whites, it was a still a very nice smile indeed. He shook his head and huffed off. Really, what was he thinking?

**Serenity: **_**"Even to the bitter end, Patrick finds ways to make my life miserable. But I gotta say – if I'm still here, it was worth it."**_

Chris wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "That was a mighty close call there." He tilted his chin up and a cameraperson nearby. "Make sure when that errors you put that action on slow-mo." He turned back to the shrinking group. "We're taking a step down no to a pair who had told all truths – except for the one truth they didn't tell. Shelly, you're safe babe."

Shelly came down and took her candy, giving Chris an amorous hug. "Thanks, babe. You're safe too."

"Good to know. _Very_ good to know." Chris's attention turned back to Brad. "That's your cue, man."

Brad felt bad about leaving until he saw Shelly give him a short wave. He smiled and waved back maybe there was hope of fixing their friendship yet. He thought about Patrick and smiled a little wider. Maybe there was hope for him getting a good relationship, too. He hoped the blond didn't have someone next to him in the limo already as he took off.

**Shelly: **_**"Every time he says anything to me it makes me feel something – happy, sad, giddy – I'm all over, but in a good way. I love how he can do that with no effort." She winks saucily and says, "I can only imagine what he can do when he **_**really**_** puts his mind to it." Her grin slips and she claps a hand to her mouth. "I… I totally forgot that my brothers are going to see this!"**_

"Moving on down the line we have eighteen truths and two un-truths. Charlie, get your candy!"

Charlie came forward to Chris and held out her hand. He smirked and held it up higher than she had her palm. "If you take this, legs, that means you like me and not Ter-Bear."

Charlie nodded slightly. "I think I've managed to grasp this fact." With one hand she took the candy. She leaned up as if to hug him and thought against it. Instead she awkwardly shook his hand. "And don't call me legs."

She took off briskly, stopping to give Terrance a hug goodbye and her best wishes while he swallowed his pride and wished her luck as well. Chris's blood boiled. Even when Terrance waved at everyone and left he felt stabbing in his pride. Was it so hard for Charlie to trust him enough to even hug him? Or was this still about him building up emotional balance with her? Gah, chicks were confusing!

**Charlie: **_**"It's wrong to be so hot and cold with Chris, I know. I've just seen his type so much. I know his type so well. Yet I like him. It's guaranteed disaster, and I'm just not sure if I want to sign myself up yet. But there's something about him… I can't figure it out, but I don't want to give up and mark him up with every other sleazy guy. If this was anyone else, I'd know exactly what to do. How is it that I can help countless people with their relationship problems but I'm a mess when it comes to my own?"**_

"Next we've got seventeen truths and three lies. Dawn, you're safe!" Dawn came down with Ren next to her. She held her hand out and Chris passed it over with a pleased smile. "Want us to cut out everything with the kid drama?"

Dawn studied him carefully. "Chris, wouldn't you want to leave that in? That's good ratings, right?"

"Eh, I'm not _totally_ impartial to bringing the kids into it. I'm with you on that one. It's up to you."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, could you?"

He snapped his fingers. "Done, dear. But don't get a big head – this isn't something I do a lot."

Dawn hugged him and said her brief parting words with Ren before leaving them for the risers. Ren sighed. "That was cool what you did for my girl, man. I guess I wish you the best of luck winning Dawn."

"Winning Dawn? Dude, she's here to win me! Wish _her_ luck!" Chris stared blankly as the camera's zoomed in on Ren's still pose as he smiled. "Spotlight hog… somebody get this guy outta my _zone_!"

"Sheesh, I'm leaving!" Ren went off to the limo feeling less disappointed than he thought he would.

**Dawn: **_**"I didn't come here to change Chris, I liked him how he was. So when he offered to do that, I couldn't help but be a bit worried that he was changing who he was for us or because of what he thought he had to be for us to pick him over our ex. But I get the feeling he would've done that before this show. I think he's got more morals than he acknowledges. It makes him that much more appealing, actually." **_

Chris wagged a finger sternly at the rest of the waiting cast. "The rest of you aren't exactly Sister Theresa's. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing in this show, but geeze! I know we've got issues if I've got more lies than truths! But at least I've got a girl who would've gotten a halo if it wasn't for her creeper ex. Roxie, you're up, eight truth and twelve lies."

Roxie raced up and hugged Chris. "Thank you for not holding him against me too much." She kissed his cheek and took the candy.

**Roxie:**_** Chris, I still have to figure you out. This isn't fair to me! You're doing to me what he did. What makes you any different from him or any other jerk out there?" She sighs. "I guess I'm going to have to figure that out while I'm still here before I let myself fall any harder for you."**_

He shrugged. "Yeah, well, I couldn't get rid of you even if you lied, too. I don't want the guy thinking he's got a chance with you. I just don't like him _that much_."

Steve scoffed. "Like I care. I'll just get a better girl 'til Roxie comes 'round. She will, you'll see." Steve pointed to Leila. "Hey, model Leila Claires! You can feel free to look me up!"

She blew him a kiss and waved with a little giggle. She looked over to see if Dom was green-eyed yet, and was put-off to see him still trying to wake Krissy up.

"Next liars up are Katroina and Alix, but they don't lie as much as the ones left. But really, six lies to fourteen truths? Tsk, tsk."

"The only reason we have all those 'lies' was because you counted everything we didn't tell you about our relationship against us!" Alix argued. "That's not very fair."

"Aw, poor nerd thinks life is unfair. Go invent something – you'll feel much better, I'm sure."

Alix sighed. "Yeah, you know, I think you're right. Inventing things does make me feel awfully good inside. Thanks, Chris!" He wrapped his arms around Katroina. "Bye and good luck making this guy nice. I already think you're doing a swell job if he's giving good advice like that!"

Katroina smiled sweetly at her naïve friend and took Chris's grape he had for her. "Hear that? I'm a good influence!"

"I… heard. Heh, you know, I think I like that weirdo! He thinks I'm already _swell_."

**Katroina: **_**"Chris is just that much closer to being a better person. I just know that he's improving as a person. That makes me feel great to know I might be having an impact on him, no matter how small. Though I don't think it's as big of a change as Alix does…"**_

Alix swooned when Dawn waved to him and he waved back as he took off looking giddy.

**Alix: **_**"Katroina, I wish you luck. And Dawn – call me, please! You're a great girl and I love you're boobs – er, but mostly your mind! You're so – ah, gee, nosebleed… I feel so ashamed…"**_

Chris waited until Alix scuffled inside the limo before continuing. "Alright, the last girl who doesn't have to sweat out going home is Maddie, shockingly."

Maddie perked her head up, looking more shocked than Al had to be called up first. "Wha – really? But I only answered one question!"

"Yeah, well… it was a truth." She blinked and he rolled his eyes. "Don't question it, just enjoy it. Or don't, if you're into that."

Maddie didn't need further convincing and she came up and hugged Chris as she took the chocolate. "Sweet!" As she walked back to the risers she offered a short waved to Berko. "Have fun being home alone, which I think you'll be for a _long_ time after this episode airs."

Berko fisted his hands and looked at Chris. "Best of luck, man. Hope you get some."

"Er, yeah, I don't aim for some… but that's another story. Ahem. Later, bro."

"Later, bro."

**Maddie: **_**"That's right, world. You saw the proof. Chris like me more than someone who's last name is Napalm. Justice does get served."**_

"Last we got a triple whammy. None of these three had any truths, for… different reasons. Lauren, KK, and Lea, step up forward with your guys."

Lea stepped forward by herself, looking like she wasn't forgetting anything. Lauren looked crossed between guilty and hurt as she came forward, Jordan still trying to see himself through the pond he was stepping away from. Dom stepped forward, supporting Krissy in his arm and trying desperately to get her to wake up.

"Right, so, I kinda already made one of you exempt because your guy needed damage control. And he messed with my hair. So not cool. Anyways, Lea, come on up here."

Lea smiled as she stepped forward and abruptly stopped when she was finished one step. Chris was waving at her to halt. "Freeze, Daniel's gonna be out a minute –"

"What?" she asked blankly.

"Yeah, he needs to be here. It'd make for great ratings to see how angry he gets. Then he's gone. Believe me, I want the creep gone, but the producers and stuff talked to him and told him to chill out. He'll be off for therapy in the morning unless you want to press charges and get him in jail. Besides he… signed a contract… I hate those."

As Daniel came out glaring something fierce at Chris while putting an arm over Lea, she sighed. "Yes, I do hate those contracts. Only for you, Chris."

"And never again."

"Absolutely not."

She walked up begrudgingly with Daniel beside her. She watched him carefully as she took a chocolate from Chris and even closer as she hugged the host. He kissed her cheek and shoved her softly back. "It's okay, he won't touch me now! He's already in trouble. Just get back on the risers."

She nodded and walked quickly to the risers so Daniel would leave sooner. Chris smirked cheekily at the strangely calm Daniel who was also smiling. "Alright, that's it, buddy. Go get in the limo and stop being such a violent freak, bro. Kids watch this stuff, the last thing they need is more bad influences."

**Katroina: **_**"Kid's shouldn't be watching this! This has ratings for a reason!"**_

**Serenity: **_**"Is he trying to say he isn't a bad influence or something?"**_

"Chris, I'm sorry. And Lea, I'm sorry too. I'll just be off." Daniel gave a sugary smile and held a hand out for Chris. "Truce?"

**Lea:** _**"Lie… lie… lie… lie… lie… This is starting to get ridiculous now. I wonder if anyone's picking up on this besides me. Hopefully Chris does."**_

Chris laughed. "I don't trust anyone who messes with this head." He swerved to the remaining girls. "Now, we've – GAAAAH!"

Daniel jumped on Chris. With no wires to hold him back, he let the strangling and punching rip. Lea made to run over to him – along with the other girls and Chris's security team – but Tawni held up a fist. "I've been waiting to bash someone's face in since the last mission!" she called out before tackling Daniel off of Chris. The girls rushed over to Chris to see if he was alright while Tawni wrestled Daniel in the soil.

"This is for beating up the guy I like!" Punch. "This is for not being Krissy's face!" Punch. "This is for being creepy!" Noogie.

"Chris! Are you alright?" Lea asked softly. "I'm so sorry that I didn't stay. I knew he was acting suspicious but I didn't want to cause any more trouble –"

"Ladies, back to your spots!" The girls looked up him with questioning stares as he shooed them off. "The show! Think about the show!" They backed up and went to their spots, watching him with concern as he tried to stand on his own. He looked pretty poor off and if the fight would've continued there's no question Daniel would be burying Chris in a ditch somewhere by now.

"Security taken care of him?" Chris asked Tawni as she came back. She had red mark under her eye and was smudged with dirt. Otherwise she seemed thrilled with life.

"Oh yeah, he's off to the hospital. Or jail." She grimaced as she looked at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah… thanks for going all bodyguard."

"My pleasure," she assured him as she went back to her spot. He looked like he'd murder anyone who'd damage his male pride and offer him help so she skipped out on asking him if he wanted to lean on her.

"Chris, you look really hurt," Lena said. "You sure you –"

"Positive. Let's just get through this." He glared at the last two girls. "And please no more surprises."

They all looked away innocently.

"I've got beef with both of you. Lauren, you lied to every question from your name to your job. Krissy, you just didn't show up."

Krissy's response was drooling on Dom's shirt.

"For all I know, Lauren here was just in witness protection and can't talk about it or something. And she's pretty ska with me, so Lauren, come forward."

**Dom: **_**"No, it's not Krissy's fault! She can't go home for this! She'll never forgive me!"**_

**Maddie: **_**"Wow. Things are going my way tonight! Sweet, sweet justice!"**_

"Lauren," Chris said evenly, looking at her straight in the eyes when she came forward. She looked even more guilty than she had before. "I have secrets, too. We'll figure something out, right? 'Til then, here you go."

Lauren's eyes spun circles between the chocolate and Chris's face. "Chris, I need to be honest, I –"

She was cut off by the roar of multiple jets lowering over the estate were overheard. Light beams shot out and were spinning over the area. Lauren glared hotly at Jordan. "Jordan, did you call them here?"

He looked away from his reflection and puffed out his chest. "Of course, Val. It's high time you quick your job and realized you belong with me and not pretending to be some ordinary schmuck."

"Erm, Lauren?" Chris asked. "What's –"

"Valerie Woods!" One of the jet's megaphones blasted words to the ground. "You're mission has been compromised by Jordan revealing personal information about yourself! Abort the operation and come back to headquarters!"

Lauren, rather Valerie, went up to Jordan and shoved dragged him with her as she stood directly under a jet. "Unbelievable! I'm going to make sure you're assigned far, far away from me, you idiot."

Valerie looked up to see everyone giving her blank stares. She sighed. "Sorry, guys, but duty calls!"

"Lauren – erm, Valerie, what the heck –"

"Chris," Valarie cut him off, "I can't explain much, but I'll be back to explain myself later. Don't worry! You see, I hated your guts at first, but now," she smirked. "I think I might like you."

She leaned up to give him a kiss before catching a ladder tossed down to her and grabbing hold of it and Jordan as she was lifted up off the ground. "Bye, everyone!" she shouted down as she left with the jet's to who-knows-where. "I'll be back, I swear!"

Chris's jaw dropped as the grounds grew silent again. He looked at the wide eyed girls. "Did… anyone see that coming?"

They all shook their heads.

"I'm still stuck on the fact some psycho-ex beat you up," Serenity said honestly.

"Hey," Roxie said, still looking at where the jets were, "did one of those jet's have CIA on the side? Was she a secret agent or something?"

Chris coughed. "Yeah, right. Let's be serious now, people. Like hell she's an agent with the CIA. This is reality TV, not James Bond."

**Chris: **_**He's on the phone with someone. "Hey, Collin? My main man! Yeah, so did you get another file for Lauren you decided not to show me? Yeah, 'cause her name ain't Lauren."**_

**Lena:** _**"Lau- um, Valerie just left with Jordan. I thought this was Chris's show? How come everyone seems like they're the ones making calls on who they want to be with?"**_

**Serenity: **_**"So Lauren was actually Valerie who's apparently got some connections with the CIA. I don't know what Chris is going on about – reality TV is the only place weird stuff like that would happen. Like that guy who was already a millionaire who went on survivor to win all the money? What kind of people do reality shows these days? Either your too normal, or… you're with the CIA."**_

Dom spoke up first after the silence following the surprising get-away. "So, Krissy can stay, right? She's safe?"

Chris nodded numbly. "Sure, here." He threw the chocolate and it bounced off Dom's head. "I think I drank too much. I'm going to bed…"

"You know what?" Maddie said. "I agree. I think I want to try and… sleep this out…"

The girls quietly went inside, trying to figure out what exactly just happened. Dom had gotten Tawni and Shelly to take Krissy in her room and make sure she was okay. They agreed reluctantly only because he was such a sweetheart. Dom went to go home but Leila's stopped him. "Let me take you back home instead. I want to hang out more."

"Really? Why?"

"Because," she explained as she pulled him off to her limo and waved for the other limo to leave, "if Chris can have CIA girlfriends, the least I can do is have a nice boyfriend. If he gets to do something weird, so do I!"

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**[1] – In case you forgot, the girl's – with the exception of Maddie, Roxie, and Lauren – never got 'official rooms.' They're still littered around the mansion in random places, those lucky ladies.**

**Hopefully the next chapter/challenge will be up sooner than this was (considering I'm already pretty much finished with it). **

**And I hope everyone somewhat understands the Lauren/Val thing now. *evil laugh* Better yet, I hope everyone can wrap their heads around it. I know I've been really bent on keeping it as realistic as possible, but I liked the idea (given by Blond with a Brain ~ thanks dear ^^) a lot. There needed to be more zaniness. This IS Chris's show, after all. What kind of show with Chris doesn't involve some level of police (RCMP, CIA, or otherwise)? **

**To wrack up things I should be kneeling over and apologizing for, I forwent the drama I had planned with Krissy, Chef, and another ex this chapter because there was so much going on. I hope no one's too heartbroken. As you can see, this really was a busy chapter… I didn't want to stuff it with anymore, lest people be confused, annoyed, or goodness forbid both.**

**Peace and love, people. I thank you all for being awesome and patient. Now have a happy, safe, and thrilling 2010!**


	23. A Contestant By Any Other Name

**The Challenges of Love**

**23. A Contestant by Any Other Name (Unreal Reality Love Pt. I)**

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**I do not own anything related or associated to Total Drama Island or any spinoff or aspect such as but not limited to characters, settings, and mannerisms. The lovely ladies are also not my property and belong to the reviewers who bravely submitted them for the ride of their fictional lives, bless them. Also I do not own Sweeny Todd.**

* * *

_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club, Truth or Lie_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson, Lauren Russ_

_-Ladies Left: 12_

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**

The girls were conditioned to handle surprises when they went to be fed. Chef's meals had a natural way of teaching even the most trusting people to keep on their toes. If they weren't mentally prepared to handle the 'extreme' food they were served, then they were likely to experience severe trauma while eating (not to mention the post-traumatic stress every time they saw food after). So when they all got what looked like alien-larvae piled onto their plates, they just rolled their eyes and let out some form of complaint before going to take a seat somewhere.

Though it seemed this morning would be a little bit different.

"Uh, Chef," Serenity said, "there's an envelope on my… my…"

"Scrambled eggs?" Shelly offered.

"Scrambled eggs," Chef confirmed.

"… Right, on my scrambled eggs."

Chef nodded to the girl in the front of the line. "I know. I put it there. You think I don't know what I put in my food?"

That was really not something she wanted to touch base on. She decided long ago that ignorance was definitely bliss when it came to his ingredients. "I'm sure you do," she said as green sprouted in her cheeks at the thought of Chef getting creative in the kitchen. "I'm just saying that putting a 'raw' envelope in my food is kinda weird."

"I don't expect you to eat it!" He tapped the envelope with his spatula as he hollered at her, as if trying to make up for not being allowed to beat it against her head. "Why would I give you something you can't eat?" Serenity drummed her fingers on the counter as he dragged her into dangerous grounds. "Here, just take the plate and read the darn thing. You could use the brain power, girl!"

He practically dropped the plate in front of her. The black hair girl barely caught it before racing off to take a seat next to Roxie, who was the only other girl in there. She was reading the same looking envelope that Serenity had in her goop.

"You got one too?" she asked, struggling to cut off the traces of what looked eerily similar to saliva from the paper. "What's it say?"

"That O.C." Roxie shrugged. "I've never heard of it, so I couldn't tell you what it stands for. It's in this big bold print on the top of the page."

"Weird," Serenity agreed as she continued to clean off the envelope. "Probably has something to do with the challenge. Does it say anything else?"

"Just a word under the title. Then there's nothing but blank space."

Serenity gave up and just ripped open her paper to pull out her letter. She unfolded it with more care and scanned it quick. "Huh, that is weird. What word did you get?"

"I have 'legs.' What about you?"

"'Bag.'"

"Well I got 'Hotness Hotness Hotness.' That's three words," Maddie said as she sat down at the table near theirs. When she noticed them giving her a stern look she arched a pierced eyebrow into her bangs. "What? I figured you two would've asked me anyway. 'Sides it's not really like I was eavesdropping since you both talk loud anyways."

"Speaking of people who _can't keep their voices down_," Krissy hissed as she came in and went next to Roxie. "You can't even seem to keep your mouth _shut_."

Maddie mumbled something as she watched Krissy open her letter from the corner of her eye. "What's yours say?" Roxie asked.

"'Street Corner.' But isn't that something associated with, like, prostitutes? Or something?"

"Right. Prostitutes make sense. They work at street corners and are hot and they have legs and probably use bags for stuff…" Serenity frowned. "So our challenge is to be prostitutes?"

"Or maybe someone in the house is already a prostitute and we have to find out who," Krissy said, looking at Maddie as she poked her food with a worried expression.

**Krissy: **_**"In every reality show I've seen, there's been a hooker. Maddie HAS to be it! She has 'Hook' written all over her!"**_

**Maddie: **_**"I don't really know what the challenge is, but I really like my words. I think they're fitting."**_

"Rah Rah," Shelly mumbled incredulously as she sat at the only other empty round table left between the two already occupied ones. She looked around at the girls waving her paper. "Does this challenge have to do with cheerleading or Lady GaGa? Anyone? Any ideas?"

"Rah Rah?" Serenity looked at Krissy. "Is that a prostitute term?"

"Only if 'S.I.C.' is." It was Charlie's turn to get looks as she came in and sat beside Roxie. "What? I heard you all the out there. Just figured I'd pitch in."

"Told you!" Maddie added as she stuck her tongue out childishly.

"Sic? What does sic have to do with prostitutes?" Krissy wondered to Serenity. "Is it like some sort of poor people term or what?"

"I don't think so, Krissy," Lea said as she came in and sat down beside Maddie. Prompted on by the expectant stares at her envelope, she ripped it open before lifting up a fork. "That O.C." she read aloud. "And right underneath that it says, 'Acid.' Nothing else."

Serenity and Krissy reconvened. "Acid is, like, a drug, right? And in this one movie I saw this kid dropped acid and went all schizophrenic." Krissy nodded at her logic. "I think we have to be mentally sick prostitutes."

Roxie tapped the middle of the table with her fork to get their attention. "I have a feeling the prostitute theory is off, guys." At their defeated looks she smiled encouragingly. "But it's a start, so keep trying!"

Dawn and Al came in and noticed everyone reading their letters. They split between Maddie and Roxie's table and opened their letters simultaneously. "Dead," Dawn read coolly as she opened it up.

**Dawn: **_**"If these are supposed to be challenge hints, then I guess I got a vague one. The possibility of death is the only consistency in any of Chris's challenges. It's practically the theme for all his shows."**_

The chill factor melted as Al winced at her word. "Missus," she said. "Though I don't see why he spelled it out. Couldn't he have just written 'Mrs.?' Plus he forgot the last name after." She tsked at his message. "Silly host."

The next girl's word wasn't a hint that could help anyone explain their own. If anything it made matters more confusing. "Leaf," Lena Greene read from beside Shelly with a serene smile. "I always thought that was cute word."

"Me too," Shelly agreed. "It's just one of those that you want to say over and over again." She started to sing the word to herself as Tawni came in next to her.

"Man, these people are weird," Tawni told them as she sat down and ripped her letter open like everyone else had done. "Krissy's table is talking about prostitutes today, didja know that?" She took out her paper and frowned. "What's 'That O.C.' supposed to be?"

"No clue," Lena said. "It's the words under it that everyone's hyped up about. What's yours say?"

"Moscow," Tawni read. She tapped the word on the paper and looked casually up at her friends. "You don't think he's trying to call me a cow, do you? Because I'd hate to kill him over a miscommunication."

"Whoa! Who's calling you a cow?" Serenity asked from her table.

"Chris has my word as Moscow," Tawni answered. "Forget the fact that it's a legitimate place in Russia, it sounds like he's trying to say something and get away with it. I mean, that's what I'd do if I were him…"

Katroina came in without a tray and wearing a sour expression as she sat next to Lena. "Hey," Lena said. "Where's your tray?"

"Chef told me he couldn't give it to me without a letter." She looked at everyone's breakfast and grimaced. "I'm fine with that."

"You don't get a letter?" Lena felt a pang of guilt as she peaked down at her own letter. "That's strange. Did he say why?"

Katroina shook her head. "He didn't even tell me I was supposed to have one. It's alright though. I figure that I can't be the only person here without one, right?" On cue everyone waved their paper in the air. Katroina dumped her head in her hands. "Thank you, everyone."

The speakers suddenly flared on with the powerful blasting of beats and rap music. Everyone was cringing and trying to save their ears from damage when the door swung open and Chris came in looking… _off_. He traded in his lax beach look for a blind-me-pink sweat jacket over a duck yellow beater. The obnoxious shirts did nothing to cover his metallic silver boxers, which were left to hang loose over the jeans he had bunching around the middle of his thighs. If his lime green backwards cap and sunglasses didn't give the outfit the fashion suicide touch he was aiming for than the face-sized picture of himself on a thick chain around his neck did the trick.

If the girls were deaf by now they were certainly blind.

Chris's arm swum around in his sleeve until he pulled it through the opening with a remote and clicked the music off. He tried to cast the girls his famous sparkling smile but his bright teeth were hidden behind a thin sheet of silver that just couldn't carry the shine. "Good morning, ladies!" Ignoring the fact his girls were now deaf, blind, and in a state of shock, Chris waddled to the middle of the room and clapped his hands together. "Huh, you know, I feel like I need something to really pull this off… aha!" He reached into another pool deep pocket and lifted out a red plastic cup with his name written in glued-on rhinestones on the side. "Perfect! Now anyways, it's time for our next challenge!"

"You've all been given a paper with your nickname on it, right?" Everyone nodded except for Katroina.

"Chris," she said, "I didn't get one."

"Good! Just to make sure we all have one, can you raise it in the air?"

The second time that day Katroina was hanging under papers she didn't have. "Chris, I don't have one to raise."

Chris thumbed his lips. "I don't think I see everyone's… could we all raise it a bit higher?"

Katroina got out of her seat and stood in front of the host. "Chris," she said. "I didn't get –"

"Great job everyone! You can put 'em down now!" Chris tilted his head at the blonde beside him. "What could I do ya for?"

"A paper," she said breathlessly.

"What, you didn't get one? Hmm, I really thought I saw everyone's."

"No, I did not."

"… What am I supposed to do about that? How am I supposed to know – oh, dude, I probably still have it! I just gave all the ones I could find to Chef but I must've missed one. _Stupid pockets_." At the chorus of girls who agreed he glowered. "I meant stupid as in cool, haters," he said defensively. He fished around in a few pockets awhile before giving her a paper. "There, that's yours. Go run along now."

Katroina opened it when she sat down. "Mother," she reported to the suspicious faces. "Did anyone find that as a helpful clue for the mission?"

"You bet!" Serenity said. "It's obvious that our mission today is to become pregnant after pros-"

"If you finish that sentence I'll take a scissor to all your clothes," Maddie warned. She was sick of hearing about the crazed idea float around. Not appreciating being interrupted, Serenity's left eye twitched in annoyance before she settled back down.

"Prostitutes, right? I think she was going to say prostitutes." Chris gave himself brownie points for being a smart boy. "That's a great challenge idea, me thinks. And it probably would make sense if those words had been hints. Though I'll still memo that to self for another day."

Shelly frowned at her paper. "These words aren't hints?"

"They're not just _words_ if that's what you're thinking. They're nicknames!" Chris used the silence to continue. "While I enjoy the nicknames most of you have be it Small Town or Harvard or KK, they simply don't have that 'edge' for this challenge. So you all got brand spankin' new and scandalous ones! Feel excited!"

He pressed a button and jammed around to the rap music. The girls cringed once more before he generously tapped it off.

"The mission today is called 'Reality Love Show.' Clever, clever I know."

"We're already on a reality love show, CC," Krissy reminded him with crossed arms. She seemed ticked off with her nickname enough to want out of both reality love shows at the moment.

"Street Corner, baby –" he paused at her death glare. "I call you that out of affection, honest! You mentioned you live on a street corner before and I was just reflecting that in your nickname."

Krissy's eyes glistened with unfiltered love. "You remembered! Awe, CC, you do care!"

**Chris: **_**"If you consider hiring people to check past videos for where she lived remembering and caring, than I am a pretty thoughtful guy, aren't I?" He flashed the camera a smile that didn't shine and he frowned. "Stupid grillz…"**_

"Moving on. This mission is going to put the 'drama' back into the 'total,' despite the fact that doesn't apply to this show. Like the classic reality love show you've all been given a nickname and you're all here for love. Now it's time for you to win your host over, and what better time than the present?"

"Chris," Dawn spoke up. "Are you saying you're going to pick the winner today?"

"Heck to the no! That'd be anticlimactic. You're all going to fight for some other guy's love."

Charlie raised her hand. "I'm sorry, Chris, but it sounded like you just said you wanted us to get someone else to love us."

"I did."

"Chris, do I need to remind you that we're here for your heart, not anyone else's?"

"You also didn't come here for free food, but you get that all the time. Sorta. But enough complaining, that's the goal of the game. I'll be stepping out of this joint and swapping places with someone else. That mystery someone will be yours to impress. And with a new guy is a new name of the show, so The Challenges of Love will transform to That O.C. You'll spend the day getting to know him and using your manipulative female arts to seduce that boy to go all goo-goo eyed over you. From there you'll all be attending elimination tonight as usual where said person will be giving out the favors. The person he sends home, I send home."

Complaints funneled around the kitchen at the mission idea. Chris raised his hands up. "Scorned females, take a chill pill and listen!" Scorned females shut their mouths and Chris gulped. He knew he was in very dangerous territory. Maybe he should've listened to Chef when the big guy told him it was a bad idea.

"There are some catches," Chris said slowly as he carefully studied each angry face pulsating death rays at him. "There's going to be two other people there. The 'body guard' and the 'sibling.' You can earn yourself some points if you make friends with those two, so it's not like you have to be all up on the man candy. Of course, if you screw up that'll affect your game too. As a side note, I gotta say that making any promises of an ewe-y porno nature will get you the boot. And attempting to do ewe-y porno things with the one episode host will also get you the boot. I'm still your guy, eh?" As an afterthought he quickly added, "And no confessions. You tell the guy you love him, you get the boot too."

"Jealous much?" Al snickered, finding Chris to be humorous with his sudden angry eyes.

Chris waved his hand carelessly, his sleeve flopping with it. "I'm not worried. This guy's got nothing on me," Chris explained. "But no need to get anyone's hopes up." A hand went up. "Yes, Dawn? Or should I say Dead?"

"Dawn's fine, thanks," she said nonchalantly. "I'm curious, what does That O.C. stand for, exactly?"

"That One Place, but of course!"

"Right," Shelly said lowly. "'Cause that's _so_ obvious."

"I'll be peacin' out then. At around twelve expect the guests to arrive and work your magic ~" He gave a saucy wink and waddled to the door with his theme music blasting. No one ever said that man couldn't make an exit.

No one also ever said that Chef couldn't make an entrance. Though his was a bit bold as he dashed in the room and threw letters down at the nearest table. "I was supposed to give you all these to explain why you got your nicknames, but I didn't feel like ruining your breakfasts by putting in too much inedible crap in it. It's because I'm a nice guy."

Tawni laughed. "Sure. Like our food is ever edible anyways –"

"I'MMA NICE GUY!" The girls shrunk back and jerked their heads into nodding movements at his burst of rage. He growled and threw a spatula he was carrying at the wall before stomping out after Chris. Because, you know, bros got to stick together.

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**Katroina: **_**"Seeing as I was given my nickname last, I wasn't expecting to have me name explanation letter at the top of the pile." She read over it and her dark eyes fluttered as she smiled at the message. "He called me Mother because I mother him and try to keep him in check." Her smile was full fledged as she looked at the camera and pointed to the paper affectionately. "That's almost as good a nickname now as Harvard. Mainly because it doesn't make me think of incest, which is wrong. Even on reality TV."**_

**Krissy: **_**Krissy is babbling as she opens her letter up. "I already know why my CC called me his Street Corner. He announced it to the entire room. He's such a –" she reads over the letter and growls. "He's such a prick! He said it's because I wear enough makeup to belong on one! JERK! But he said… oh, hey, here it is at the bottom! 'And because she lives on one.' So he didn't lie, really." She debates with herself before she rips the letter up. "Whatever, I'm still pissed at him. He's so gonna get it next time I see him."**_

**Lea: **_**"I was given the nickname Acid," she informed the camera people with a polite tone. "This was because I look around distractedly at everything all the time like an acidhead Chris was friends with in high school." Lea didn't look offended and calmly folded the paper up and shuffled it between her hands. "I wonder if that boy's nickname had been Acid, too."**_

**Dawn: **_**Dawn is reading the note with a crooked grin. "Apparently 'Dawn' reminds him of 'Dawn of the Dead' and he thought 'Dead' would be a nicer nickname than 'Zombie.' It goes on to state how it also fits seeing how his first nickname he wanted to give me – which was Double D – would make me want to kill him and leave him dead, which is why he didn't give me it." She laughs a bit as she looks up from the letter. "I'll give him points for creativity. And honestly, I'm glad he didn't keep it as Small Town. It might sound lame, but I almost don't want to hear anyone but him call me that. It's our thing, through and through."**_

**Lena: **_**"Heh, I bet I can guess how I got the nickname," Lena started as she opened her letter up. "It must have something to do with the fact I love the environment or the fact my last name is Greene and healthy leaves are generally green. Or maybe because of that one conversation we had on the roof about our favorite part of flowers. I don't really remember how it came up, but he said he liked the leaves more than the actually flower itself." She unfolds the note and her brows furrow a bit. "On second thought, I'm way off. He said I'd make a good Native American, and my name would roughly translate into Saves Leaves if I ever became one. [1] He just keeps the surprises coming," she gives the letter a kiss and tucks it in her pocket. "Chris, expect a return note!"**_

**Roxie: **_**Roxie already has her note open, and is giving the camera a smoldering smile as she traces her legs with her fingers. "I got legs because, obviously, Chris likes my legs a lot. This is a big confidence booster for me, because we haven't really seen much of each other and things haven't gotten hot like they were in the beginning. It makes me feel good to know he still finds me attractive. I just want to find out if he still feels the same passion for me that I have for him since day one."**_

**Tawni: **_**"If he says I'm a cow in this, I'll be sure to invite everyone to the funeral." She takes the letter out and reads it. She looks as unhappy after finishing it as she did when she started it. "He wanted to give me a really girly nickname to, and I quote, 'reflect how ultra girly I am.' What a sardonic fellow. He says he thought he'd take a page from Paris Hilton's parents' book and name me after a city." Tawni looks up the camera and sighs after a moment. "I guess I'd take Moscow over Paris any day. Bleh."**_

**Charlie: **_**She started out reading with a passive expression. Her lips jerked up and her eyes brightened as she read further down. She was laughing aloud by the end of the letter. "Sic isn't a nickname I thought made any sense," she said between her laughs. "But it's actually adorable. S.I.C. stands for 'Strawberry Ice Cream' which is what my hair reminds him of. He said how he wonders if I taste like that," she hums softly to herself. "It's charming, if not a bit on the perverted side. I guess I'll be alright with a pet name just this one time. Sic it is, then."**_

**Maddie: **_**Her letter is flipped over and she's giving the camera a cocky smile. "I bet this letter will say I got my nickname because I'm hot. Let's find out, shall we?" She flips if over and mocks shock. "Well, what'd'ya know! I got my freakish long nickname because I'm hot! Chris is just so darn creative."**_

**Shelly: **_**"Rah Rah, because that's what cheerleaders back in the day said. And it's catchy." Shelly nods. "It's true, it is rather catchy. Old school is always in anyways." She bites her lips. "Come to think of it, I don't think I ever showed Chris my cheerleading moves. I'll get on top of that." She smiles and then her face falls. "Oh, geeze, I didn't mean it the way it came out – that can be taken sooo wrong –"**_

**Al: **_**She's in hysterics as she finishes reading her letter. Her ear buds are dangling from the iPod she's barely holding as she keels over with laughter. She wipes her eyes and calms herself down. "He called me Missus because of my last name. So now I'm 'Missus Lovett.'" The camera guy working the Confession Cam tells her he doesn't get it. Her jaw drops. "You know, Missus Lovett? From Sweeny Todd? THE Missus Lovett?!" He insists he doesn't know what she's talking about. She shakes her head and scrolls through her iPod. "We're gonna fix this right now."**_

**Serenity: **_**"He called me Bag because I'm like a punching bag. According to the note I take a bunch of crap from everyone, and I can't say I disagree. I also like this reason a lot more than the prostitute one, because I didn't really see the connection all that well between bags and prostitutes anyhow. And –" she looks behind the camera and raises a brow. "Al? Are you allowed to be here and listen to confessions…?" Al says that she's showing the wonders of Sweeny Todd on her iPod to the cameraman, who's staring at the screen with glossy eyes and a happy face. "Oh! Can I watch, too? Please?" Al must've nodded because Serenity bolts from her seat and behind the camera.**_

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**[1] – I feel like I'm allowed to make Native American names considering how hardcore Shawnee parts of my dad's side of the family tree is. *Shrugs* It's like my birthright to do so.**

**Really, sorry for the late updates. I feel like I should be slapped or something. But I honest to goodness have been working my butt off and buddying up with good ol' stress. I need to make a college decision soon on top of my school and work crap. Nothing like college to make you feel the pressure! **

**Thanks to: the readers and the reviewers but of course. Without you, updating would be a much more boring hobby :) **


	24. He's a Lady

**The Challenges of Love**

**24. He's a Lady (Unreal Reality Love Pt. II)**

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**ZOMG UPDATE!**

**I hate how long this took, and if you'd like to know why, look at the bottom of this chapter, where a nice long rant is if you're into that kind of stuff. And if you like disclaimers, read the memo below this one. And if you just want to skip the lameness and get right to the fic, then what the heck are you still reading this for?**

**I do not own anything related or associated to Total Drama Island or any spinoff or aspect such as but not limited to characters, settings, and mannerisms. The wonderful ladies are also not my property and belong to the reviewers who created them. **

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_In Case You Already Forgot…_

_-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled, Can You Give Your Number, Paintball Wars, Influencing the Competition, Total Drama Rerun, Life Swap, Fight(ing for Love) Club, Truth or Lie_

_-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith, Ulli Schmidt, Nina Peterson, Victoria 'Vikki' Love, Isabelle 'Bell' Marely, Kristina Colmar, Sapphire Caligre, Leila Claires, Kayla 'Stormy Swift' Anderson, Lauren Russ_

_-Ladies Left: 12_

* * *

Trent had plenty of experience dealing with cold side of romance on television. In fact, he thought he had a little _too_ much experience. When asked to be the 'host' for the challenge, he was very quick to throw a fit. "Dude, I'm not interested in messing with girls for Chris's sick amusement," the teen dream told some of the show's casting agents, who were frustrated with his refusal. When they threatened to use his contract against him, Trent promised he'd lock himself in the limo and sleep the entire episode. After getting his (signed) agreement to fully cooperate with a challenge that didn't involve him eliminating the girls personally, the casters moved on to the next possible guy on their list…

… Which just so happened to be Duncan. He proved to be anything but a disappointment with his answer. As soon as the offer was made he was onboard. (Though the casters were suspicious to the fact that Duncan agreed solely to trash Chris's house for kicks versus trying to find Chris the 'girl for him.') Things were going smoothly until, not even five minutes after Duncan agreed to the episode, Courtney and several lawyers were harassing the phone lines.

"I think I speak for the entire viewing population when I say that no one wants to see a Duncan hitting on a bunch of girls," Courtney told them hotly. "Especially ones that want to date Chris. _Gross_!" When informed that people actually _did_ like that, she literally growled into the phone. "Well it's only because you've brainwashed them into _thinking_ they like it! They don't know what entertainment is anymore with all these demeaning reality shows this network insists on airing. These shows are barbaric!"

"We need someone to host the challenge," the casters calmly explained to an irate CIT over the phone. "And the mission starts fairly soon, so finding a replacement is just a waste of time since we already have our guy. Duncan's already agreed, so finding someone else would be a hassle."

"Ugh, how unfair!" Courtney argued. "I don't see why you need a guy to do whatever mission it is you have anyways. What mission could you possibly need only a guy? Is this some sort of loyalty challenge? Do you want the girls to cheat on Chris and not be loyal?"

"No, we assure you that's not the case at all –"

"What exactly is the challenge then?"

"We're not able to release that information to you at this point in time –"

"Well I'm sure a girl could do whatever it is just as well!"

The frustration grew among the caster's as they talked to the stubborn girl, but as the debate grew longer wicked ideas started to form. They started to seriously consider the girl's suggestions. "I guess, Ms. Courtney, if you think that's the case… this can very easily be arranged. Would you be willing to take his place? Whatever the mission entails?"

"I'd probably do it _better_," she assured them. "I would make a great hostess for a challenge, considering my extensive public speaking background and all my CIT training –"

"That's great!" the caster's interrupted. "Perfect! Duncan's out, you're in."They told her that she could get all the details of the mission… _after_ she stopped over to sign the contract and bind her to the mission-swap, without any lawyers to tag along for the ride. It's amazing what some people – even the most skeptical – would agree to when you brought a love interest into the equation.

Princess had no clue what she was in for.

* * *

When Krissy went to high school, teenage boys were dumb. She was fairly certain that they were still that way. If this was so, then convincing whoever this 'host' was wouldn't take much effort on her part. She'd done well with getting favors from guys before no matter who they were , save for self-centered-Chris and Probably-Gay-Noah. Why should this be any different? It's not like she was even asking that much. All they had to do was call her up. It was as easy as that.

When she went into the kitchen to grab a snack (Chef had left with Chris, thank God) she wasn't surprised to see other girls making food. After all, the supposed cook hadn't made them a decent meal _ever_. What confused her was when she overheard them discussing how they were making it for the boy that'd be coming over.

Never one to hold back her tongue or her nose, Krissy leaned over the counter and gave the ingredients the girls were taking out a good look over. "Um, what do you guys think you're doing?"

Dawn, who was obviously leading the group, answered first. "I'm making cupcakes for the hosts."

"Yeah, we're just watching and helping out whenever we can," Shelly said sweetly beside Maddie, who was sitting on the counter next to a mixing bowl and kicking her feet back and forth.

"That's so retarded," Krissy said flatly. "Who else is doing stuff like this?"

Shelly frowned. "You mean baking…? Only Dawn is, duh."

"Not baking! I mean, like, doing something for the people coming. Is anyone else trying to suck up to them?"

"I'm not trying to suck up," Dawn said coolly. "I just wanted to do something nice for them."

Shelly scratched her head looking a bit confused. "But Dawn, I thought you said that food was the way to a boy's heart, and that you thought this would hel-"

"_Did you gain some weight?_!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over at Maddie. She had tried to save Dawn's strategy and just said the first thing that came to mind to keep Shelly quiet. In all honesty, she was sort of hoping that if Dawn let her help enough that she'd get some credit, too.

Shelly gave Maddie a disgusted look before pushing herself off the counter and crossing her arms. "How should I know? I don't check the scale every two seconds. And for your information, I think I _lost_ weight being here." She paused for a moment before chancing a look at her stomach. "Unless it's really noticeable and I did without knowing it…?"

"No!" Maddie said quickly. "No, Shelly, I didn't mean it! I just said the first distraction tactic I could think up! I don't actually think –"

"Now that Maddie's mentioned it," Krissy said slyly, biting her lip in feigned anxiousness. "You are kinda packing on the pounds."

"_What_? No she is _not_! She's _so_ in shape! She's one of the best looking… um, Shell?" Shelly was already out the door when Maddie realized she was gone. "Crap, baby, I didn't mean for it to come out like that!" Maddie called out, shooting after her friend before the door had a chance to shut.

Krissy tapped the now empty counter and looked over at Dawn, who was still baking as if nothing had happened. "So," she said, looking around the kitchen casually, "about those cupcakes –"

"I'm not giving you any credit, Krissy."

The brunette was about to try and persuade the old-soul otherwise when another girl made an appearance in the kitchen, only she was all business. "A limo just pulled up," Katroina told the pair. "We're all meeting in the entrance hall where we did when the ex's arrived. Camera crew orders."

Dawn sighed and put her cupcakes in the oven before following Katroina and Krissy to the entrance hall. As Katroina had said, all the girls were sitting or standing around the steps. She smiled and came to stand on the edge of the steps when a knock was heard from the other side of the door.

The girls all popped up to stand straight with pretty smiles, ready to play the part of girls that should totally be kept in the competition.

Another knock.

The girls felt their faces starting to ache a bit. This wide smile stuff was tough.

Then the doorbell rang.

"Cody! Get the door – oh, wait, Cody's not here." Serenity looked around at her housemates with a clueless expression. "So if one of Chris's people don't get the door, then who does?"

"Awe, gee, I dunno"s and "Noes Goes"s were heard until Lena stepped forward and went to open the door herself. She turned the handle and creaked it open, smiling at who she saw when she had done so. "DJ!" she greeted, reaching her arms out to hug the gentle giant. He leaned over and gave her a warm hug in return, visibly pleased at the friendliness.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you!" DJ said, dropping his arms and stepping back to look down at the bright green eyes looking back at him. He then came into the house and waved. "Hey, everybody! You already know me, I'm DJ. Now what is everyone else's name?" A few girls were ready to answer when he stopped them by waving his hand. "Wait, don't tell me, I totally forgot! I have to call you by your nicknames!"

"Wait," Tawni muttered to herself. "I forgot mine already!"

"Really?" Krissy asked. "It hasn't even been two hours yet and you already forgot?"

"I know, but I tend to forget things that piss me off! Gah, what was it?!"

"Moscow," Lea confirmed from the step in front of her.

"Oh, that's right. I knew it was something stupid." She patted Lea's back. "Hey, thanks, Acid!"

Lea turned around and gave Tawni a slight nod. "You're welcome."

DJ's eyes were glistening – oh, the manners were great here, too! So much better than the Total Drama series, he decided. Maybe everyone could get along here and just have a good time.

"Where are all my party people at?!"

Maddie bounced on her toes. "Whoa – is Geoff here? That'd be too epic!"

Instead of Geoff coming through the still-held-open door after DJ, a blinged out homeboy entered the place. Well, rather, a home_schooled_ boy came into the mansion.

**Al: **_**"It didn't sound like Geoff, but it was a very Geoff thing to say. Can't blame anyone for being excited." She sighed and looked down, "And I was already on my party playlist, too."**_

With droopy clothes and heavy jewelry matched together to push his 'image,' Ezekiel stepped up next to DJ with a sloppy swagger looking silly with his classic good-natured smile juxtaposing it. "Deej, you loo'k well! Gimmie five!"

DJ darted his eyes around, as if waiting for someone to tell him that this was a joke. When no one did he shrugged and tapped his hand against Ezekiel's. "You look… um, good too man."

"You kno'w it, eh!" He turned to the girls and blushed. He remembered his persona and stood up as straight as his accessories would let him. "You ladies loo'k nice too." He shuffled his feet and shuffled over to DJ's other side, suddenly looking embarrassed with himself. He kept his eyes on his high top shoes and waited for everyone to stop looking at him.

**Ezekiel: **_**"They all loo'ked like nice girls, eh. And really pretty. But I'm noo't suppoo'sed to get invoo'lved with thinking like that. It's bad for my rep." He went to give some sort of hand signal to represent the farm back home when he lost balance on the stool and fell over. "Umm… Please edit that oo'ut. That's bad foo'r the rep, too."**_

The awkward mood that settled in the room left everyone looking around for a distraction. "Well," Charlie spoke up, "now we know who the body guard is." She pointed to DJ, who smiled and waved back in a friendly manner. "And we know the sibling." Ezekiel coughed. "But do either of you know who the host is?"

The two teen boys looked at each other before turning around to answer the question.

"Trent."

"Duncan."

They paused, and looked back at each other again. Then, in louder voices, they repeated:

"Trent!"

"Duncan!"

"Alright, I don't know what you heard," DJ said, "but the last time I talked to Trent he told me he got asked and wasn't sure what to do about it yet."

"I heard on Gwen's bloo'g that Duncan said yes," Ezekiel countered.

DJ blinked and jabbed a finger at Ezekiel. "I guess he's right. Gwen wouldn't lie on her blog unless it had something to do with ruining Heather."

Maddie held a hand up to get the boy's shifty attention. "Whoa, you mean to say that Duncan is going to show up?! That's pretty cool too! We can still rip it up!"

"Yeah! And I can still play my party playlist!" Al gushed.

Roxie chewed her lip, not fond of the idea of having Duncan show up. It wasn't so much his personality that set her off, just that fact that she knew first hand that he had an on/off relationship with someone who wanted to sue the pants off of anyone who got too close with the punk. If she got sued from a teenage girl for breathing the same air as the CIT's boyfriend, she was pretty sure her dad would find out about the show, which is far from what she wanted.

Charlie was thinking along the same lines. Duncan had a history of relationship issues according to what he portrayed on Chris's other reality shows. She was worried about any possible drama that might start because of his flirty personality. She wasn't expecting any infidelity from the girls or awkward forwardness from him even, not that she could see harmless flirting taken lightly by Chris or Courtney. That's assuming Duncan was even seeing Courtney, who knew these days.

"He seems pretty cool," Serenity told the group. "I think it'll be fun."

A limo pulling up smoothly to the curb cut off any more conversation. The girls looked out the door no one had thought to shut yet. DJ was looking pleased, considering he'd been friends with Duncan too. Ezekiel just stood placidly, tugging at his toque.

Nothing happened for a while. The limo stayed running, and everyone stood watching. Everyone in the mansion made brief glances around the room, wandering what the hold up was.

The driver finally lowered his window and hollered at the group. "Hey, someone open the door for my passenger!"

"Why don't you do it yourself?" Tawni asked. "You're way closer than we are!"

"I'm not a chauffeur lady," the driver argued.

"Fine, we'll handle it," Krissy called out. She cupped her hands and shouted out, "Cody!"

Shelly tapped her shoulder. "He's not here anymore," she whispered. "We've been through this already."

"Oh, right." The brunette flipped her hair and shrugged. "That was my only idea." She noticed DJ. "Wait, no, I've got another one. DJ, go get the door."

The boy nodded. "Right, I'm on it!" He went to the car door and opened it gently. "Hey, Duncan! Welcome to the show!"

Courtney got out and looked around with her nose in the air. She turned on her heel and smiled at DJ, shaking his hand promptly. "Thank you, DJ. Though I'm not Duncan, obviously. That _ogre _is nowhere near this place."

She turned around and came into the mansion, looking around with a calculated smile. "Hello, everyone! I'm Courtney, and I'm a CIT, or counselor in training. During my time here, I'll be hosting the challenge! I plan to rely on fairness, honesty, integrity of your character to determine whether or not I think you should stay her-"

"You're not Duncan," Shelly announced.

Courtney blinked and lost herself for a moment. She cleared her throat and clapped her hands together. "I'd think that is apparent to everyone here already, yes." She turned her focus off from the blonde to the group as a whole again. "As I was saying, I plan to rely on fair-"

"Back up," Katroina said, "I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just want to know if Duncan is definitely not showing up, since Chris had alluded to the fact that our host would be male."

Courtney tensed. "I told you," she said in growl, "that I'm not Duncan. So no, that would mean he isn't showing up at all. Now –"

"Well that blows," Maddie muttered with her arms crossed.

"It does so not _blow_! It's great! I'm better than Duncan! I plan to –"

The oven beeped from the kitchen and Dawn perked up. "Oh, my brownies are done. Do you mind if I go get them?"

Courtney offered Dawn a smile. "Not at all, go right ahead, please."

Dawn nodded at her and left. Maddie looked around and followed after. "I'm going to go, ah, make sure she doesn't need help or anything…"

As she darted off, Krissy followed. "No way does _Madina_ get credit for helping and I don't!"

The teenage girl started to catch on to a trend. "Wait, people, could you just –"

"Brownies?! Shelly, we're not missing out on this!" Tawni said, grabbing her giggling friends elbow and plowing them off the steps, through the camera crew and into the kitchen.

Courtney huffed. "Now wait just a minute here guys –"

"Speaking of which, I brought some of Momma's Secret Spices along with me in case Chef was still cooking," DJ explained, taking some bags from his pockets to hold up as proof. "Can someone take me to the kitchen so I can stow them somewhere for the time being? I don't like walking around with such valuables like this."

"I don't mind showing you," Katroina and Serenity said at the same time. They both laughed at their unison. "We can both take you," Katroina said, taking one arm in hers as Sernity took the other and agreed, "The more the merrier!"

"Wait, hold on a second!" Courtney stretched her hand out for her friend. "DJ, don't go! You two, hold it!"

Ezekiel stepped forward. "I'm noo't leaving!"

"Well you shouldn't," Courtney snapped, frustrated with the situation. "I'm boss here, and I didn't tell you to go, so you shouldn't even have to reassure me on that fact."

Roxie frowned at the CIT and stepped forward to take Ezekiel's hand. If his face was red just looking at all the pretty women, his cheeks were next to bleeding with one of them touching him. "C'mon, I'll teach you some moves so you can really earn some street cred."

Ezekiel's sadness and swoons were swapped for eagerness. "That'd be mad doo'pe!"

"Oh, hey, you guys will need music!" Al added, leaving the room and following the two out swiftly.

"This is awful," Courtney cried out after her shouting and wild commands failed to convince anyone to come back. "I haven't even given out anyone's nicknames yet!"

"Chris already gave them to us," Lena let her know.

"Really?" Lena nodded. "Well that makes things easier, I guess. But still, I had six minutes and seven seconds left on my introduction speech."

"Six minutes?" Charlie echoed, not unkindly.

"And seven seconds," she amended. She smiled widely at Lea, Charlie, and Lena, who were the only people who stayed behind. The camera crew had even moved on to the kitchen and the dance studio to 'follow the real action.' "I suppose you all want a leg up on the competition then, right? That's why you're all still here. I got to say, I applaud your strategy for listening to my opening. Here, I'll start over so you all know _exactly_ what I'm looking for in the people I vote to stay in during tonight's ceremony!"

The girls exchanged looks of uneasiness as Courtney started back up. Those brownies sounded pretty good right about now.

* * *

**No nicknames and no real action, but I like introductions as much as Courtney. They'll come back next chapter, as will Chris. I miss him already :(**

**Alright, as for my excuse on poor updating (everyone's got 'em) I'd like to remind everyone who sent message, nice and not-so-nice, that I have a (dramatic gasp) life. I work, go to school, then work some more. College next year will not pay itself and I picked an expensive one. Finals/AP tests, graduation, and my 18th birthday are all coming up, seemingly all at once, then summer when I work even more. I'm sorry, I hate late updates too, and I honestly wanted to be more on top of things, but at the moment I'm at the bottom of everything. But this fic makes me happy, as do all of you, so I'm not ditching it, promise :D**


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